If you do recovery work long enough you realize that many families have their own systems of shame.  Messages of shame were very present in Will’s home growing up.  In particular, his dad carried a lot of shame in his own life which manifested itself in the way he raised Will, including through his own absenteeism, lack of connection, and lack of vulnerability as a father.  

Pornography was present in Will’s home. Due to his father’s addiction to pornography, Will was first exposed at the young age of 3 years old.  Around the age of 8 he began struggling with his own pornography use and unwanted sexual behavior.  He first opened up about this struggle to a church leader at the age of 12 but continued to struggle.   

Will shares a traumatic experience where he was sexually assulted by his friend’s older brother but felt so much shame he didn’t tell anyone what had happened.  What we don’t repair we repeat, and Will soon found himself actively seeking out opportunities to take advantage of girls.  

This pattern of behavior continued and so did his shame.  Will felt that God’s love was based on his worthiness, and he never felt worthy.  One day God showed Will that he did know and love him.  That was the day Will’s youth leader was prompted to show up at his home just after Will had decided to take his own life.  This saved his life.  

Will has found, through his attendance at the Warrior Heart Bootcamp, his connection with God specifically through prayer.  He knows now that God still loves him even when he slips in his addiction.  

Will’s powerful story gives hope for those who are still struggling.  God will be there for you anytime and everyday. 

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