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Beyond Your Default
Trailer
Bonus
Episode 28
Season 1
A Servant's Heart: The Essence of True Helpfulness
“I'm not asking you to walk in my shoes; I'd never wish my afflictions on anyone. But could you walk beside me on secure ground and reach to hold my hand?” ― Richelle E. Goodrich
The concept of possessing a servant's heart has its roots in religion, specifically Christianity: "The servant’s heart means to help others in love without expecting something in return, serving in appreciation of the gifts God has already given us." However, embodying a servant's heart ideal is universal, meaning one can lean into this way of life through a wholly secular lens.
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We are moving beyond those traditional religious connotations for this very reason in this week's episode. The idea of servanthood — of being helpful and genuinely of service to to others — is a core competency that we must all develop in order to live a life that is beyond our default.
Our conversation examines the evolution of a servant's heart, as well as the critical role of self-care and setting boundaries in maintaining a healthy balance. We talk about the potential pitfalls of excessive helpfulness and the need for self-awareness in navigating the complexities of being of service to others — including my personal journey of addressing unhealed people-pleasing tendencies and my inclinations to "keep the peace" in emotionally unstable environments.
George and Liz also discuss the importance of self-awareness and avoiding burnout. We explore examples of genuine helpfulness and the concept of servant leadership, as well as practical steps for taking baby steps towards a more servant-minded life.
Our Favorite Helpfulness Tips
- Regularly check in with yourself to avoid burnout and prioritize self-care.
- Genuine helpfulness involves being proactive, honest, and transparent.
- Servant leadership focuses on the needs of others before considering your own.
- Start with small acts of kindness and active listening to cultivate a servant-minded life.
Questions We Discuss
- When we say "servant's heart" what does that actually mean? Conversely, what isn't a servant's mentality?
- George has made no secret of the fact that his mindset has radically shifted over the years. That he struggled with anger and working through feelings of "but where are my blessings" – when and how did that change?
- Why is helpfulness core to living a life beyond your default?
- How and when do you see "helpfulness" lapse into becoming problematic?
- How do you find a balance between being helpful and knowing when you need to help yourself?
- Where is the line between genuine helpfulness vs. people-pleasing and trauma-born attempts to regulate the emotions of a situation?
- What does genuine helpfulness look like in practice?
- If someone struggles to break out of a default that is more self-focused, how do we encourage someone to take baby steps toward a more servant-minded life?