Trauma therapists are often told that we have to prepare our clients for any and all disruptions to our schedules well in advance, to avoid causing harm to them or causing therapeutic rupture.

But life happens. We have unexpected and unforeseen circumstances that mean that we may have to suddenly cancel sessions or rearrange our entire schedules around a new preschool pickup time. (Ask me how I know).

And there are most likely therapists out there on TikTok or in Facebook groups who will judge us any time we have to make a last-minute cancellation or otherwise allow our own personal lives to intersect with the lives of our patients.

It’s vulnerable to admit to patients that we aren’t perfect, that we have messy lives, that we aren’t in what Onyx Fujii and Asher Pandjiris called “a state of perpetual wellbeing,” in the last episode.

If our clients’ perceptions of who a therapist can and should be are disrupted by our vulnerabilities, needs, and limitations, what does that mean about who they think a therapist can and should be?

Since my conversation with Onyx and Asher, and with a whole lot of disruption in my own life and schedule, I’ve been thinking a lot about what happens when our clients encounter our humanity.

Today, I’m digging into why it feels so vulnerable to share our life circumstances with our clients, why our fears of rupture when we have to might be exaggerated, and how cultural expectations of therapists as aspirational figures impact how our clients perceive us and what we do.