We need to embrace three basic principles, as well as overcome the common psychological barriers to these principles, in order to exercise real love to one another. Learn this week about how to overcome avoidance, isolation and resentment--and how doing so helps us love more fully and completely.

“You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel;
when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me.
If I tell the wicked, ‘O wicked one, you shall surely die,’
and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way,
the wicked shall die for his guilt,
but I will hold you responsible for his death.”

“Brothers and sisters:
Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another;
for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.”

“Again, amen, I say to you,
if two of you agree on earth
about anything for which they are to pray,
it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father.”

Here are the three principles and the common psychological barriers that prevent us from achieving them:

Principle One: Don’t try to escape the pain. Although it’s human nature to try to stop pain and suffering, we are called as followers of Christ to approach suffering differently. The typical psychological barrier is avoidance, whether that be addiction, binging on food or videos, or simply not addressing the issue. Instead, try to bring that pain to God, ask for His will and understanding. Try to see God’s providence, but accept the fact that we may not be able to understand. Instead, we may need to rely on faith.

Principle Two: Don’t do it alone. Whatever the pain, come together with loved ones in prayer or ask for help. Address conflict, and find ways to accept the love and support of others. The psychological barrier to this principle is isolation. Although it’s good to take time to pray and reflect, don’t sink into stonewalling, resentment and harboring of anger.

Principle Three: Destroy your enemies with love. It’s easy for us to brood about someone’s mistreatment or wrongdoing, but this can have a negative effect on us more than the other person. The psychological barrier here is getting locked into negativity. For example, if we’re so worried about someone stealing from us that we can no longer be generous. Instead, try to remain detached and recollected.

One thing to keep in mind is that every person is at a different development point psychologically. It’s important to think about what is available in your arsenal of responses. In some cases, it may be best to walk away. Understand that this is a dynamic process. Work toward these principles while also being humble enough to know your limitations.

Choose someone you’re having a conflict with, and try to put these principles into action to make a true act of love this week.