Get ready for the pep talk to finally take action, start the thing, or quit the thing! Coach Jo and Coach Kim bring the inspiration, motivation, and tough talk we all need to get stuff done, stay focused, and take action that serves us rather than self-sabotages. Make sure to save, download, and bookmark this episode to return to any time you need a pep talk to do the hard but necessary things in this thing called life. 

Coach Jo and Coach Kim discuss the tough truths of letting go of perfection, choosing the hard, and taking care of ourselves. From the concept of parenting ourselves to choosing the road less travelled to achieve our goals, the ultimate choice depends on ourselves. No coach, friend, stranger, spouse, or parent is going to magically make life easier, but we all have the power to overcome and persevere with the right mindset and a good enough perspective. If you’re in need of encouragement, this episode is for you!

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Coach Jo 00:09

Welcome to Perfectly Unfinished Conversations, the Iron Lab podcast with Coach Jo…

 

Coach Kim 00:14

…and Coach Kim…

 

Coach Jo 00:15

Where you ride shotgun with us as we have raw, real, unfiltered, and unfinished conversations about trying to eat, sleep, train, and live with some integrity in a messy, imperfect life.

 

Coach Kim 00:27

We're all about creating a strong support system, taking radical personal responsibility, having fun, and being authentic. And one of the most common themes you're going to find in this podcast is the idea that we create positive momentum in our life, by doing what we call b-minus work.

 

Coach Jo 00:45

We’re making gains and getting ahead and loving life without self-sabotaging our goals by striving for perfection. We get it done by moving ahead…

 

Coach Kim 00:55

…before we're ready…

 

Coach Jo 00:56

…when we aren't feeling like it…

 Coach Kim 00:58

…and without hesitation.

Coach Jo 1:00

Be sure to subscribe now on Apple or Spotify, so you don't miss a single episode. It’s good enough. Let's go. Welcome to the pep talk, guys. We want you to hit download and come back to this one as often as you need to.

 

Coach Kim 01:19

So we're gonna start with this little idea that maybe you're in the season. It's the season of summer, the season of kids getting ready to go back to school, the season of helping maybe aging parents or grieving someone, or you're in the season of a health crisis, or maybe you're just in the season of frustration, stuck results, sticky weight, or even just shitty thinking. Whatever season of life you're in, we're here today to send you some love. Welcome to being human. Being human means we're going to encounter tough times, hard things are going to come your way, but don't let your thinking get in the way. 

 

Coach Jo 02:03

In this episode, we are going to do our best to motivate you to stay the path, start the path, or remain consistent on the path that you are on. So buckle up, bitches, we are going to inspire today. 

 

Coach Kim 02:19

We're bringing the fire. We're bringing the fire. So here's a little reminder, there's nothing wrong with you, nor has there ever been. There's absolutely nothing wrong with your body, your mind, your spirit, your choices, your actions, your behaviors, or even your moods. You are and have been exactly who you needed to be to get you to where you are right this second. You are a sweet, flawed perfection, a mess of contradictions, blubbering mishaps, self doubts, stellar intention, foolish choices and deep belly laughs, just like the rest of us. You are right this moment, positioned for your own success or healing or accomplishment, you have total possibility inside of you to get whatever it is that you want. The experiences of our life have led us to adopt certain beliefs about ourselves, like we're messy, we're broken, we're a shit show, we're moody, we just can't see ourselves as anything else. It's very challenging for us to envision our own possibility, and we can also think when the world is suffering, who am I to want or ask for more? 

 

Coach Jo 03:45

You know, if Kim and I had stopped and listened to every single opinion about the way we should be living our lives, we wouldn't be here doing what we love and creating this incredible life that we have for ourselves. Both of us have had to forge a new path, solo, separately, at different times. No one around us, in our circles are doing what we are doing to the level that we are doing it. We've continuously had to be brave enough to do it alone, to stand out, to choose that we matter every single fucking time. No matter the comments or quips back, no matter the looks or the eye rolls, because I'll tell you, I've had eye rolls. The beauty of this life is that it is your own life, and you get to choose how it ends up. Nobody else is in your body or gets to choose the direction of your ship. You are the captain, and it's up to you to steer it towards the life you want. The truth is, there will always be people who do not get it, who question your choices, or who try to pull you back into their comfort zones.  But that's their story, not yours. Your story is about having the courage to live authentically, to pursue what sets your soul on fire, and to keep moving forward even when it feels like the world is against you. It's about knowing that you are in control, that every decision, every action, every step, is going to shape and mold your life. You get the power to create the life you want one brave, bold choice at a time. And as the quote goes, you're alive, it's time to start acting like it.

 

Coach Kim 05:38

So here's the first thing that we want to remind you of, and that is, you cannot be afraid to go alone. It's really human nature, I think, to want to bring our people with us, but this is the concept of strap your own oxygen mask on first before you help others. We have got to stop trying to bring all the people to healing or to fitness or around to our way of thinking, whatever you want to say. You have to stop trying to convince your husband he needs to eat better. You have to stop resenting your workouts because nobody else wants or stop resenting your workouts your time in the gym because nobody else wants to hear about it. You can build habits that you love, that are just yours without anybody else's approval. You can totally go alone. You can eat chicken and broccoli when everyone else is having pizza. You can say no to alcohol or a late night or a toke and have your own back. Like my favorite affirmation right now is “I got me.” Sometimes we outgrow the people we're with, and it creates distance, and other times, we can choose to let them be and be ourselves and look after ourselves.

 

Coach Jo 07:00

There's this quote that I always bring myself back to, and it goes: Other people's opinions are none of your fucking business.

 

Coach Kim 07:08

And that's a tough one.

 

Coach Jo 07:11

It's none of your business. In the world, there are 100 different versions or more of you that exist within so many people's brains. This is because of word of mouth, first impressions, without, you know, getting to know you more one on one, long term relationships, family, you know, perchance experiences, they randomly run into you, or people who have never even spoken a single word to you, but they see you at the grocery till.

Coach Kim 07:38

Or on social media.

Coach Jo 07:39

Yeah, or on social media. And when you look at it like that, does it really matter what anyone else thinks of you and your journey? You're so many different things. There is no specific version of you that should technically matter, but the one that you want to show up as in this world, but your opinion of yourself that matters. 

 

Coach Kim 08:02

You've got to start eavesdropping on your brain and how it is talking to you all the time. Just begin to listen to your own story, your own narrative, without judging, without self criticism. You have to notice how you're coaching yourself in real time. We all have a story we tell ourselves every day, the narrative that shapes how we see ourself and our life. But is that narrative serving you thoughts that feel true, like it's too hard, or I don't feel like it, or what's the point? Are stealing what you want for your life. You've got to be on to yourself. You've got to be listening in on what you're thinking about yourself and have a plan for how you're going to redirect your brain when it wants to tell you that old, familiar stuff. I can't do that feels true, but it's a lie. The truth is, you have the power to rewrite your daily narrative. You can do that. You have just set yourself up to believe that you can't.

 

Coach Jo09:16

We, both, Kim and I, come from families where and circles we could say not just specifically families where we're just too much, we're fitness fanatical, or we're health nut freaks, for a better use of terminology.

 

Coach Kim 09:28

Obsessive, what do they call that? Not obsessive, but extreme.

 

Coach Jo 09:34

Yeah, we're extreme. But this is, is this not what a human's supposed to live like it is crazy. Personally, like my own story, my family are cattle farmers, cowboy values, so no woman is meant to be large and in charge in that specific narrative. I've had to remove my own limiting belief of disloyalty and abandonment in order to become this person that I am today, which is a woman who lifts heavy shit, speaks her opinion and co-runs a gym in a male dominated field. And once you come to the realization that you most likely are being held back by one or more of four fears, you can then start to work towards undoing all of that negative programming that you have put in your brain. It's like giving your brain a new update that's going to remove all that shitty jargon that you have no use for anymore. So let's talk about some of those fears. Fear one is you feel fundamentally flawed, meaning you feel you cannot grow or you cannot change because something is inherently wrong with you. You are flawed, you're fucked up. You can't change because I just there's something I'm broken. I'm broken. I just can never get fixed. Fear number two is disloyalty and abandonment, which means you feel you cannot experience any success, because it would be disloyal to your roots and or if, you may end up alone, people don't want to end up alone. Like Kim said, you want to take people with you. Fear number three is that the more successful or the bigger you grow, equals a bigger burden. You know you don't want to do the work. There's more work to do. There's more people to please, life is going to ultimately demand so much more from you. And the last one fear number four is the crime of outshining. This is for someone who you know is talented, is gifted, which most of us really are, in so many different ways, and they are worried that they're going to let people down and make them look bad if they themselves do well and they succeed. They don't want the spotlight on themselves. So once you start to see that your brain is trying to protect you, even if it means keeping you stuck, you can begin to take action against that internal coach and break free from the chains of self doubt, because you're not bound by those fears. They're just stories that you're saying in your head, and the best part, you get to rewrite them whenever you want.

 

Coach Kim 12:10

So this is what I like to call get your shit together. Like for me, getting my shit together is telling myself the truth and deciding that I'm done talking about the same unhelpful stuff beliefs in my head, I am personally done thinking the same old thoughts about me and them and that and the past. Like our excuses become our cages. The things that we tell ourselves become our limits. They feel like the truth, when really, there are just stories on repeat that you can retell anytime you want all the time. Like, how many times have I told myself I don't have time or I'll do it tomorrow, or even in the face of making a hard decision where I could remain true to what I want, and instead YOLO, you know, you only live once. Come on, have the cake. It's no big deal. Or my favorite is, it's not that bad, like I've told my clients, this story about the power of my thoughts to create my reality. And so the example I often give is this, I went through a period where my weight was hovering higher than I'd like it to. And every fucking morning, I'd start the day saying, that's it. Today's the day I'm going to take the bull by the horns. I've got my food plan, I've got my choices. I'm going to move the needle, stick to the plan, make it go the way I want to go. And every fucking day around 4pm I'd find myself quitting early, giving up, gravitating to the habits that were creating, the very problem that I say I don't want to have anymore. And when I drilled down into why I was sabotaging myself every day, I discovered that the thinking wasn't anything crazy, super Pivotal, like I don't deserve my goals, or I'm not accomplishing, capable of accomplishing my goals. The thought was a very small it's not that bad, like that little thought about my weight, it's not that bad was enough to justify sabotaging myself every single day. It took me a long time to catch up, to catch that thought that it wasn't anything dramatic, like, I'm not, I'm not worth it, or this is too hard. It was like, hmm, I'm hungry, I'm tired, and, yeah, is it really that bad? That little thought that seemingly harmless thing, it was enough to derail what it is that I want. Like, what does it take for it to be enough? When is enough enough? Like, what will it take for you to draw the line on your own bullshit? Or even, why won't you draw the line on your own bullshit? You know, we think there is some mysterious reason that we keep stumbling, and there's not You're not broken. It's not forever, it's not impossible. You just need to decide that it's time and that you're not going to do this old shit anymore. 

 

Coach Jo 15:23

Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to be perfect that we end up doing nothing at all. But here's secret number one, good enough is good enough. You don't… go ahead.

Coach Kim 15:35

It's good enough. Let's go!

Coach Jo 15:37

 Right? It is. You don't have to be perfect to make progress. Maybe you didn't finish that project at work exactly the way you wanted, but you gave it your best effort. Maybe your house isn't spotless, but you tidied up a little. Maybe your meals aren't Pinterest worthy, but you created a stress free week for yourself in the fridge. And that's progress and it counts. The idea of perfection can stop you in your tracks dead, but when you let go of that and just aim to do your best, you'll find it's easier to keep moving forward. Good Enough means you're doing what you can with what you have, and that's all anybody can ask for. So don't let the fear of not being perfect hold you back. Just keep doing your best, keep moving forward and trust that every step you take is bringing you closer to where you want to be.

 

Coach Kim 16:36

Now here's the thing. Is that sometimes getting closer to where you want to be requires that you're doing all the hard things, like Human Nature says we want it to be easy. What if it wasn't meant to be easy? What if, truly, all the gold came as a result of the challenge? And that is it. Robert Frost wrote, Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference. And that quote is so beautiful because it's, you know, it is. You can make it mean what you want for for you, but for me, it always means, like, there's an easy road and there's a hard road, and the easy road is easy, but the hard road is is what makes you grow, and it's what makes you become the next version of yourself, and it's where all the grit and the beauty is. So what if you know, getting uncomfortable was the price of obtaining what it is you say you want we don't like discomfort. We don't like hard, but humans are actually wired for hard, we just haven't practiced it enough. Now I'm not specifically talking about the hard to get that gets handed to us without asking for it, the hard that life can slap you with. I'm talking about choosing the hard intentionally, because that's what's growing the next version of you. Consciously choosing something that's going to push us through to the next level. You're so much more capable than you give yourself credit for, and so we are always inviting you to lean in, push into the hard. Welcome it in, give it a hug.

 

Coach Jo18:23

I think sometimes we have to parent ourselves like we are our own child.

Coach Kim 15:25

Oh, 100% yes.

 

Coach Jo 18:28

You know, we have to tell ourselves when to go to sleep. We have to tell ourselves when to work out and when to eat the good stuff. Kids don't know how to navigate life on their own. We are their guiding tool, and sometimes we have to be firm on the decisions we make because we know it is in the best interest of the child. Why can we not do the same for ourselves? It starts with deciding that you are built for hard things and that you need the courage to just try. Kids don't know that jumping on a trampoline will be fun until you get them on there and they test it out right like you urge them towards the reward. And as an adult, it's the same idea urge yourself towards what would be the best interest for yourself. And yes, sometimes it's gonna be hard, but man alive, staying definitely feels harder. Andrew Coates Fitness shared an Instagram quote where it said, do you actually like working out and eating healthy? That shit sounds hard and miserable. And his response, yes, I love it. You know what is hard and miserable, hating what you see in the mirror, always feeling tired, stressed and lethargic, taking medications daily and dealing with serious health issues. The message you know that life is gonna feel hard if you let it, and then ultimately, you gotta choose your heart.

 

Coach Kim 19:52

I love that one. I've seen that pick your heart before, right? So this brings us to secret number two, which is you are your own champion, your own coach, your own hero, Guru, Savior or healer. Nobody's coming to save you. Nobody else has your answers. People always want a coach to motivate them. You know, like we get this a lot. I need you. I need you to kick my ass, but that is always on you. It's you that's got to kick your ass, and in that gentle parenting way, right? Like, I totally agree with that. Like, this is that example of, you know, at 730 you've had a decent supper, you probably need a bath and to go to bed, and instead, you're in the pantry, like, where are those chocolate chips? And, you know, parenting, you wouldn't let your child get away with that. You'd be like, no, no, babe, it's you had a supper time. Now, we need to have a bath. You got to get to bed. You need some sleep. You know, no more snacks, kitchens closed. We do that for our children. We don't do it to ourselves, and that is on us. Nobody else holds the key to your peace, joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, healing, achievement of your goals, your self, love like we have the ability to get there just because we're alive. It isn't your coach's job to motivate you or pull you up. It isn't your mom's job to make your life easier for you. It isn't your partner's job to be your whole world. You're your everything. You rise, you choose, you grow, you have your own back, and everything else is part of the reward when you have you, every other thing is the gravy. Your coach might be there to high five your ass when the game feels rough and you need some solidarity or encouragement, but nobody else can do the work but you and that both stinks and it's fucking empowering, because you get to choose and you get to prove to yourself that you can do it.

 

Coach Jo 22:05

So, come on, show up, give yourself the credit you deserve. The road might be tough, but it is yours to navigate. Why owe you you if you've got two feet and a heartbeat, it's your duty to live your life the best you can. So go crush it.

 

Coach Kim 22:23

If you love this little pep talk, you should really consider spending the weekend with us at You 2.0, October 5th and 6th, right here at Iron lab in Lacombe, Alberta,

 

Coach Jo 22:33

and don't forget to leave us a rating review at the bottom of our podcast. See you later, guys.

 

Coach Kim 22:38

Go some ass. 

Coach Jo 22:39

Bye, bye.

Coach Jo 22:39

You probably got a sense of who we are by now and what our personal approach is to developing a lifestyle that creates really great health and strength. Using a relational common sense coaching approach that is backed by knowledge and personal experience.

Coach Kim 22:54

There are a couple of ways that you can work with Jo or I, one on one, remote or you can actually train here at Iron Lab. 

Coach Jo 23:02

The first is the Metabolic Blueprint, personalized coaching program, which is customized for your life and your body. 

Coach Kim 23:07 

We work together very closely either in person or remotely to help you conquer old diet drama and to get lasting results. 

Coach Jo 23:17

Ideally, we'd love to teach you how to never buy a quick-fix diet program or app again. 

Coach Kim 23:23

Next, there is the accelerator academy, which is up to 12 months of self-paced weekly bite-sized lessons and journaling exercises, that we’ve created to help you create the lifestyle habits that generate a true transformation. 

Coach Jo 23:41

Find out more on our website: ironlablacombe.com/metabolic-blueprint