{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"Raising Men","title":"Regulate Before You Relate: The Inner Work of Raising Men with Jonny Miller","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":3454,"description":"In this episode, Shaun sits down with Jonny Miller, the founder of Nervous System Mastery and host of The Inner Frontier Podcast. As a tech leader and father of two, Shaun explores the messy reality of staying regulated when kids push every \"magic button\" we have. Jonny reframes the nervous system not as something to be \"beaten into submission,\" but as the primary lens through which we experience our relationships, our creativity, and our capacity to lead our families.Key TakeawaysThe Nervous System is the \"Upstream\" Lens: Your nervous system dictates the quality of your attention, relationships, and creativity. Rather than a victim-to-villain dynamic where you must \"grind\" through stress, mastery is about befriending the system and understanding that your kids' nervous systems are often a direct reflection of your own.Interoception is the Lead Domino: Most men are \"numb from the neck down,\" missing the internal data (heat in the chest, sweating palms) that signals rising anger. By noticing these sensations when they are a \"2 or 3 out of 10\" rather than an \"11 out of 10\" rage blackout, you gain the agency to intervene before reacting.Reducing the \"Half-Life\" of Reactivity: The goal is not to never be triggered, but to reduce how long you stay in a hijacked state. Instead of carrying unprocessed grief or anger for days or weeks, nervous system skills allow you to move back into your \"window of tolerance\" in minutes.Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Regulation: While we often try to \"think\" our way out of stress (top-down), there are four times more neurons going from the body to the brain than vice-versa. Leveraging \"bottom-up\" tools like breathwork, humming, or cold exposure is a high-leverage way to signal safety to the brain when the mind is racing.Paying Off \"Emotional Debt\": Repressing emotions to \"get the job done\" (the Clint Eastwood model) builds a debt that eventually leads to burnout or health crises. Shifting from \"grinding\" to \"courageous curiosity\" allows men to...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/2uuITx2j-lZJp2iIhjw55xbaGtfwoyDcHPS-ELTBlxA/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS9mZmQ1/ZGM3MjJkNTdmODY0/MjE0MmYyYWQzMDE0/ZDhiMi5wbmc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}