{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"the Henny Flynn podcast","title":"Shame and Her Sisters, with Susan McCulley (S4E8)","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":4193,"description":"I'm back with the wonderful Susan McCulley. And today we have a tender topic.\nWhen discussing shame it feels so essential to hold ourselves gently.\nWe touch on areas that may feel challenging. We explore aspects of our own responses to shame, and the associated emotions that connect with it. We traverse the landscape of shame to see how we can hold ourselves with ever-deeper compassion.\nThere are many angles to a conversation about shame. Our attention today is focussed on how we can normalise the feelings we associate with a sense of shame and how we can differentiate her from her sisters - sadness, embarrassment, guilt, anger, despair, neglect, disappointment... \nThis feels like an important subject because the more we can identify what we're feeling, the less we are identified by those feelings.\nToward the end of the conversation we landed on an idea that affected us both deeply. And brought tears to my eyes. \nUltimately the message is one of whole acceptance of who we are.\nHenny x\n\nPLEASE NOTE... At the beginning of our conversation, Susan leads us through an exercise to grounds us all as we embark on this conversation. The very initial part (feeling into your feet) can be done when in car, but please note the rest of the exercise involves your hands too - so won’t be possible when driving! \n\nSome of the things we discuss include…\nHow our ancient animal brain responds to experiences and creates shame because of our deep fear of being shunned\nThe Gottman Institute have created an emotion wheel (see the link below) that helps us understand the subtlety and breadth of what we feel\nShame arises when we know we’re not being TRUE to ourselves \nWe can carry shame with us throughout our lives - and can inherit it from others, from our conditioning or from societal mores\nShame is a primal emotion and we ALL have it.\nShame hates to be talked about so secrecy is its language - the more we deny or refuse to talk about shame, the more we have.\nShame is ‘I am bad (and I...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/8XmYGzkmh8Boy41jD_hAySUGDTURQQCqP4F2ePYjLxQ/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS9lNmYz/ZDlkYzQzNTRiYmZm/Yjg4Zjg5ZDkyOGJj/ZGZkNi5qcGVn.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}