{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast","title":"Saying the Hard Thing in Real Time","html":"<iframe width=\"100%\" height=\"180\" frameborder=\"no\" scrolling=\"no\" seamless src=\"https://share.transistor.fm/e/1d890dc6\"></iframe>","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":2286,"description":"Ever leave a conversation and realize, somewhere on the way to the car, exactly what you should have said? There’s a French term for that feeling, and ADHD brains know it intimately.\nThis week, we explore why saying the hard thing in real time is so difficult with ADHD, from the blurt-or-freeze problem to the research on variable reaction time and emotional dysregulation that makes it make sense. We get into how pace gets used against slower processors in an argument, and how to claim the room you need without walking out.\nThen the practical side: naming your state, five “slow sentences” to keep in your back pocket, the Gottman rule for taking a real break, and a trimmed-down version of DBT’s DEAR MAN that you can actually remember when it counts.\nLinks & Notes\nSupport the Show on Patreon\nDig into the podcast Shownotes Database\nKofler et al. 2013, reaction time variability meta-analysis\nAnker, Ogrim & Heir 2022 summary\nShaw et al. 2014, emotion dysregulation in ADHD\nBen-Dor Cohen et al. 2023, J. Attention Disorders\nGottman: flooding and breaks\nGottman: repair attempts\nLieberman et al. 2007, affect labeling and ScienceDaily write-up\nDEAR MAN overview\nWordorigins: l’esprit de l’escalier","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/YTkFPoIRLaeVDZjC2YYGEtP5UJ2-NnlMAz8bCgZYbZs/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS9zaG93/LzMzMDkxLzE2NjUw/MTA5NjYtYXJ0d29y/ay5qcGc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}