{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"Beyond the Gray","title":"Why You Keep Failing at Change: It’s Not About Willpower | Ep. 31 (formerly Ep.3)","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":1100,"description":"What if the reason you keep struggling to change isn’t a lack of discipline, motivation, or willpower?\nWhat if it’s your identity?\nThis is one of my favorite episodes from the early days of Beyond the Gray, and it’s worth bringing back because this conversation goes way beyond alcohol.\nWe all carry stories about who we are:\n“I’m not a morning person.”\n“I’m just not disciplined.”\n“I have a sweet tooth.”\n“I need a drink to unwind.”\n“I’m not a gym person.”\n“This is just how I am.”\nThe problem is that when we repeat those stories long enough, they start to feel like facts. And once a belief becomes part of your identity, your behavior tends to follow it.\nIn this episode, we’re talking about why identity drives behavior, why changing a habit without changing your self-concept often doesn’t stick, and how you can intentionally begin becoming the person you actually want to be.\nYes, this applies to drinking. But it also applies to your health, marriage, relationships, leadership, faith, discipline, energy, and the way you want to live the next 10, 20, or 30 years of your life.\nBecause the real question isn’t just:\n“What do I want to change?”\nIt’s:\n“Who am I becoming?”\n\nI also walk you through my DECIDE methodology and explain why identity comes before daily habits and execution. And I’ll give you a simple exercise you can do this week to start closing the gap between who you are today and who you want to become.\nYou are not stuck with the version of you that got you here.\nYou are allowed to evolve.\nIn this episode, we talk about:\nWhy willpower isn’t the real answer to lasting change\nHow your identity is formed through repeated thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors\nThe danger of saying, “This is just what I do”\nWhy behavior change without identity change often doesn’t last\nWhat happened when wine became part of my own identity\nWhy changing can feel scary even when you know you want something different\nThe connection between identity, habits, and behavior\nHow to start defining...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/o3QgvEYD_EzW-1N7UZfNYTN4qL2oafyqZIw1SF69BYo/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS9kYjNl/NjgxZTdjNDY2YjIw/NjdlNjBlYTUyMjgw/OTZjMy5wbmc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}