{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"The Dialog","title":"1.28 / How to stop people pleasing: choose who you'll disappoint","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":2040,"description":"When I was 23, I was working for my parents at our church, and it felt like everyone was a little mad at me. Every leader wanted a creative project, and if you didn't deliver it, you were sabotaging their ministry. I went to my mom and told her they needed someone who wasn't going to disappoint everybody. She said, \"I just think you need to choose who you're willing to disappoint.\"\nThat sentence changed my life.\nThere's what you want to do, what people need you to do, and what God's called you to do. Most days they don't line up. My co-host Nick Surface and I pick up where Episode 27 left off and talk about what happens when you realize it was never about you.\nHow do you stop being a people pleaser?\nChoose who you're willing to disappoint. If you try to meet everybody's needs, you don't become sacrificial. You become a martyr.\nCan you disappoint someone and still love them?\nJesus disappointed people (John 6). The more you grow in love, the better you get at knowing what people actually need instead of what they're asking for.\nWhat if following Jesus means doing what you don't want to do?\nIn Gethsemane, Jesus prayed, \"not my will, but yours be done\" (Luke 22:42). If I follow Him, I should expect moments like that. Epictetus said life is a play: you don't get to decide your part, just whether you play it well.\nWhat is God's will for my life?\nNot a job title, an amount of money or a position. God is concerned with who we're becoming (Romans 12:2).\nScriptures\nLuke 22:42-44 · John 6:53-68 · Luke 24:13-21 · Philippians 2:5-7 · Genesis 22 · Romans 12:2\nPeople and ideas\nViktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning · Epictetus · Josh's mom: choose who you're willing to disappoint · Josh's dad: you never fail if you learn\nChapters\n0:00 Cold open and show intro\n0:52 Maturity starts when it's not about you\n3:24 What you want, what people need, what God wants\n5:45 \"It really isn't about you\"\n6:18 Does following Jesus mean a miserable life?\n8:16 Did you do what everyone needed?...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/7YsfA4gq5VzjhvmKvDET1pQqT0OM6yxv1laklKclR7g/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS83ZWZh/MTRmZDEzOWRjZGQz/Y2M2NThkNzYwOTJj/ODA4MC5qcGc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}