{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"The Secure Husband","title":"The Shame Beneath Anxious Attachment in Marriage (Shame Podcast Series)","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":1721,"description":"Anxious attachment in marriage is often explained as a fear of abandonment or rejection. But there may be something deeper underneath that fear: shame.\nA husband with anxious attachment may worry when his wife pulls away, stops initiating affection, rejects sex, or seems emotionally distant. But the deeper pain may come from what those moments seem to say about him.\nI am too needy.\nI am undesirable.\nI am not worth choosing.\nThere must be something wrong with me.\nIn this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Bruce Abbott explains how shame can sit underneath anxious-preoccupied attachment and fearful-avoidant attachment, especially when a husband is married to a dismissive avoidant wife.\nYou may want affection, sex, reassurance, emotional connection, and some sign that your wife wants you. Those desires do not automatically make you needy. The problem starts when you need your wife's response to prove your worth.\nThis episode also explains why anxious husbands sometimes run hidden tests in their marriages. You stop initiating affection to see if your wife notices. You count how often she kisses you. You wait to see if she reaches for you. You plan something special and watch closely to see how she responds.\nYou are trying to answer an important question:\n“If I stop creating all of the connection, will there be any connection left?”\nTAKE THE NEXT STEP\nFREE & LOW-COST SELF-GUIDED COURSES\nhttps://securehusband.com/resources\nFind practical Secure Husband courses and resources that you can work through at your own pace.\nLEARN ABOUT BRUCE ABBOTT & ONE-ON-ONE COACHING\nhttps://securehusband.com\nLearn more about Bruce Abbott, The Secure Husband Process, and one-on-one coaching.\nSCHEDULE A FREE 30-MINUTE CONSULTATION\nhttps://securehusband.com\nThis is simply a conversation about what is happening in your marriage and how coaching might work for you. No sales pitch. No pressure. Just seeing if it is a good fit and how I can help.\n#AnxiousAttachment #AttachmentStyles...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/YJmHpXqr3wfrhL5fsdmtlNEm6ml1FboHb1lRAj0byEY/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS8xM2Vj/NGY4MTMxZDhhNmE5/ZGI4YzVmMjNmZjRh/YWU4MC5wbmc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}