{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"Where's the Lemonade?","title":"#5.9 Two Households, Two Sets of Rules","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":1829,"description":"Let's start with a frequently asked question in divorced households: When my child goes to their dad’s house, he has different rules. When they come home, they think they can do whatever they want.  I am tired of the battle. How can I help them adjust to the different house rules? This is a brilliantly asked question about a common problem in divorced households. The question is not, “How can I get my ex to parent like me or to agree with me?” By the way, if you ask your ex to do this, they will most likely NOT just because it's you asking. But the question is, “How can I help my child adjust between the two homes?” Brilliant. This is not focusing on your ex, which you have no control over; this is focusing on your child.The answer is complicated… Managing the different rules, expectations, and personalities is challenging for the entire family. This can be highly emotional, and there’s likely to be some conflict as you figure out what works best for you, your child, and her father.  But you can help your child understand and respect the different expectations of each parent without battles while still enjoying the time she spends with both of you.The article we are referencing for this topic talks about perspective and how it starts with YOU. PerspectiveThink about your attitude and how you are responding to this situation. If you— understandably—feel angry or stressed, your child will likely feel this way, too. Your words, tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language all communicate how you feel.Try to take the perspective of your child’s father {or mother). For example, like other divorced fathers, he may try to make up for the divorce by letting her do whatever she wants, so there is little conflict while they are together or by buying gifts to compensate for the loss. If you understand your child’s father’s motives, it may make this situation more manageable.Whether or not you and your child’s father can work on this together, the task for you is to...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/AbNhumt2hVbZcTgz2Qf8P7RE5CXq8b7ECuhOS8ZX7Wk/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS9zaG93/LzExNzYvMTU1MDM3/NjEyNy1hcnR3b3Jr/LmpwZw.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}