{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"Words in the Wilderness","title":"The Wound Isn't The Rupture","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":2003,"description":"Every parent asks some version of the same question. Am I damaging my child? Have I already damaged them?\nThis episode is Jacky's answer. It's not an answer that reassuringly bypasses the truth, but an answer that holds the truth.  Because the question isn't how do I never hurt my child. The question is: when I do hurt them  - because I will - how do I repair?\nRuptures happen in every relationship. They're part of being human. They're even part of healthy relationships - they show that each person has their own separate sense of self. What creates lasting damage isn't the rupture. It's the rupture that goes unrepaired.\nIn this episode:\n\nWhat it means to parent from your wounded child - and why even the best intentions can mean you're parenting the child you were, not the child in front of youThe despair magnet - how shame turns one mistake into a tally of evidence that you're fundamentally flawedThe difference between guilt (I did something bad) and shame (I am bad) What a genuine amend looks like - and why an apology with 'but' on the end isn't oneDan Siegel's four S's: Safe, Seen, Soothed, Secure - and how repair rebuilds all fourThe intergenerational gift: when you repair with your child, you repair with yourself \n | \"Beneath the stars of destiny, beneath the numbing and defences, beneath the self-doubting censorship, beneath it all... catch a glimpse of precious alchemy. Beneath it all, beneath — is me.\"","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/hWOJzs9My3AEtPNBYp_3c6d2c4zfOy3xXSnAP5_vXr4/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS9hODZk/ZGQ3Mjk3NjJmMWE4/NjllMWZlNzVlZTEw/MjgwMi5wbmc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}