{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"Traffic School","title":"June 13th, 2025","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":2362,"description":"STRAP IN AND RIP OFF THE REARVIEW MIRROR, BECAUSE THIS WEEK’S EPISODE OF TRAFFIC SCHOOL POWERED BY THE ADVOCATES WAS A FLAMETHROWER TO THE FACE OF SANITY. Lieutenant Crain beamed in live from a classified desert location so suspicious it might as well have had alien cows grazing in the background. He dodged every question about Area 51 like a man who's definitely hiding intergalactic secrets, all while fielding legal questions from a cavalcade of chaos demons calling in from every dimension of rural America.We started with a casual story about a Family Dollar cashier SHOOTING A SHOPLIFTER IN THE BUTT. That’s right—dollar store vigilante justice. Crain diplomatically explained that no, you can’t legally shoot someone over discounted toothpaste, but the spirit of East Idaho apparently says “meh, maybe.” Things only escalated from there.Carl called in wondering if his 1,200 horsepower death chariot was street legal. Sure, Carl—just promise you won’t use it, which is like giving a toddler a flamethrower and asking them not to light the drapes. Meanwhile, someone else asked about riding horses through traffic, sparking a completely serious conversation about DUI loopholes involving saddles. One guy wanted to outrun a cop for fun. Another caller tried to prank the show with a horse question, got out-crazied by the actual answer, and hung up mid-giggle.Zoom court attire became a battleground when a woman in Detroit showed up late, rocking a house robe and building a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of a fuming judge. The consensus: not technically illegal, but if you disrespect the judge's fashion sense, you're going to jail emotionally, if not legally.Then came the Facebook Group Street Law Debate Hour, where callers ranted about left-turn intersections, misused center lanes, right-on-red arrows, and whether you can summon Satan by merging incorrectly in Idaho Falls. At least three people called just to argue with ghost traffic cops they imagined while...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/qIAJ-BjOF3B3aRT7fyXuTuFEPN_4vxl4nFzS_NqVGPc/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS8xZjkx/OTEzMjMyYzA0YjE5/ZDRmOTkxZDk2NjE1/MTc2OS5wbmc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}