{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"Traffic School","title":"August 21st, 2026 - Police Grapplers, Flock Socks And The Death Of Common Sense","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":2297,"description":"This week's Traffic School begins with Lieutenant Crane casually revealing that his teenage years apparently consisted of repeatedly being kicked out of school and then eventually returning to that exact same campus wearing a police uniform, which is perhaps the funniest possible way to demonstrate that life has an extremely specific sense of humor. The discussion quickly establishes that Crane was apparently enough of a menace as a teenager to get himself trespassed from his own high school, only to later show up there as a lawman to handle an actual call. Somehow, this becomes a recruitment pitch for anyone who has ever thought, “There is absolutely no way they would let someone like me become a cop.” Crane insists they might, while Viktor immediately begins investigating whether his own questionable history would disqualify him. Apparently the only thing standing between Viktor and a career in law enforcement is physical fitness, which is devastating news for everyone involved.\nThen the show immediately plunges into the bizarre world of Flock cameras and the apparently heroic Flock Sock, a 3D-printable little garment designed to cover a Flock camera from “the elements.” The question becomes whether putting a removable sock over a police camera is actually illegal, because apparently we have reached the point in civilization where people are using sticks to dress surveillance cameras. Crane explains that simply touching the device may not necessarily constitute a crime if no damage is caused, but spray-painting or permanently damaging it would obviously be another story. Before the legal analysis can become remotely normal, Crazy Carl calls, immediately derailing the show into discussions about sponsorships, radio station phone systems, and the possibility of renaming the entire studio after “Doofus Plus.” The segment eventually becomes an extended fever dream about Carl's caller antics, police employment, old cars, and whether a person with misdemeanors can...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/qIAJ-BjOF3B3aRT7fyXuTuFEPN_4vxl4nFzS_NqVGPc/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS8xZjkx/OTEzMjMyYzA0YjE5/ZDRmOTkxZDk2NjE1/MTc2OS5wbmc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}