{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"The Dad Manual","title":"Ep 28: How Getting Sober Made Jay Vincent the Father He Never Had","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":2623,"description":"What does it take to become the father you never had? Jay Vincent joins me for one of the most honest conversations we've had on the show. Jay grew up idolizing a dad who slid into alcoholism and walked out when Jay was 15, and for years Jay repeated the pattern, through addiction, two DUIs, and the day he came home to an empty house after his kids' mother left. This is the story of how he climbed back.\nIn this episode: how childhood shapes the dads we become, breaking a generational cycle of addiction, the night everything changed, getting sober and staying sober for 14 years, rebuilding trust with kids who barely knew him, parenting traumatized teenagers, and why doing the inner work is the real job of fatherhood.\nIf you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. \nConnect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/\n00:00 A hard-won lesson: kids absorb everything\n00:29 Meet Jay Vincent, girl dad\n02:03 Becoming a girl dad\n05:44 Jay's childhood and his father\n09:33 When a hero slides into alcoholism\n10:53 The dad who left at 15\n12:01 An angry teenager finds the dark side\n14:00 Five miscarriages and the road to Kirsten\n17:58 Bringing a child into a fighting home\n21:03 The definition of fatherhood\n21:36 Coming home to an empty house\n24:07 Losing his kids and hitting bottom\n25:04 Two DUIs and the cop who kept showing up\n27:16 The night he cried out for help\n28:49 Fourteen years sober\n30:22 Doing it for his kids, then for himself\n33:33 Showing up across state lines\n34:00 Finding purpose in a fathers' recovery group\n46:26 Advice for parents in a struggling relationship\n49:22 Closing thoughts","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/RhesufeLfq-KH7W3Ni1tcYfxGDlnUQ1BXbcDk7-CgJk/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS8zMWVh/NTk0NDViNmUyYWZl/Zjk4NDk3NWVjMWEy/NWYxYi5wbmc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}