{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"Words in the Wilderness","title":"The Heap Of Hulps","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":1180,"description":"You know that moment when something rises in your throat - a howl, a truth, a need - and you just... swallow it back down?\nJacky has a word for that. Hulp. A howl and a gulp combined. And this episode begins there; right in that frozen, swallowed place, because that's exactly where Jacky found herself when she sat down to record!\nThis is an episode about what it actually feels like to start something. A behind the scenes look at the recording and deleting, the shame that crawls up when old wounds surface, the \"here we go again\" of it...\nJacky takes you through the process she used to move from freeze to finally pressing record: writing a letter from her fear, sitting with the grief of it, reaching out - and what happened when she did.\nIn this episode:\n\nThe HULP poem - and what it means to have a pile of swallowed truthsWhy the antidote to shame is love, not self-improvementThe gap between your ideal self and your actual self - and why staying with the actual is where the richness livesWhy feeling like you don't fit in might mean you're a leader, not a misfitLink to the Youtube video Jacky refers to in the epsiode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0872fKNtIw","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/hWOJzs9My3AEtPNBYp_3c6d2c4zfOy3xXSnAP5_vXr4/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS9hODZk/ZGQ3Mjk3NjJmMWE4/NjllMWZlNzVlZTEw/MjgwMi5wbmc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}