{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"Welcome To Being Alive","title":"Ep 3: Navigating Desire Differences","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":1611,"description":"Mismatched desire is one of the most common dynamics a couple can face. It can create guilt, rejection, fear of incompatibility, and even exhaustion from the \"spice it up\" advice which often doesn’t work. In this episode, couples and sex therapist Inez Cordoba, LICSW, CST responds to an anonymous question from a heterosexual, married couple raising young children who are trying to find a way to manage a persistent gap in desire.\nWhile it's tempting to frame a desire gap as a relationship flaw, or a question of who's right or wrong, this episode treats it as something to manage together. The case Inez makes throughout is that taking the pressure off is actually key for desire to show up.\nInez walks through how to actually assess a desire gap: taking an honest snapshot of the relationship's overall health and life circumstances, ruling out physical and medical causes, separating libido from arousal, and reframing sex itself so that eroticism and playfulness stop collapsing into a single narrow checkbox.\n📖 Resources mentioned in this episode:\nMating in Captivity by Esther Perel. Inez's go-to reference for reframing desire and eroticism more broadly — also worth following through Perel's interviews, articles, and social media.\nDesire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mercy and Dr. Jennifer A. Vencil. A sex-positive guide for readers of all genders, orientations, and relationship structures — helps couples understand and manage differing libido levels without shame, with practical exercises for redefining intimacy.\n\nThis episode explores:\nWhy treating a desire gap as something to manage, rather than fix, changes the entire conversation\nWhy trying to make your partner (or yourself) different backfires, and how pressure is antithetical to desire\nHow to take an honest relationship snapshot before troubleshooting libido specifically: friendship, life structure, depletion, and support\nWhen a desire gap is actually a...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/-E8-wlSA90qhQfoCcD865LVMcIKyhOgr-xazT3vk_-A/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS83ZmM2/NzJjYzQ4YzI2YmUx/ZTc1OTZjY2Q5OTgx/ZTAzZS5qcGc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}