{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"The Dialog","title":"1.27 / How to stop letting your past define you","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":2694,"description":"Almost drown in a pool when you're six, and you might be afraid of water for the rest of your life. The moment didn't decide that. The meaning you gave it did, back when you were six.\nMy dad wrote about this in his book: most people ask how a moment defined them, but we're the ones who define what the moments mean. My co-host Nick Surface and I talk about memory, the story you tell yourself about your past, and why it shapes the decisions you make today.\nAre your memories accurate?\nI don't remember facts. I remember things through my filter. The past doesn't exist anymore, so the only thing that exists about it is what I think about it.\nWhy do you make the decisions you make?\nI heard Erwin McManus say every decision you make in the present comes from how you perceive your future. And that picture comes from how you interpret your past.\nCan you just decide your past didn't happen?\nDon Draper tries in Mad Men, and it leaves him with massive cognitive dissonance. Nick's take: God has written His law on our hearts.\nWhy can't some people take responsibility?\nOwning one thing means looking back at everything else. Underneath is a fear of not being enough, and only God's love answers it.\nScriptures\nRomans 2:15 · 1 Timothy 4:2\nPeople and ideas\nErwin McManus, The Barbarian Way · C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity · Black Mirror, \"The Entire History of You\" · Mad Men · Tony Robbins · Josh's dad: we define the moments\nChapters\n0:00 Cold open and show intro\n0:52 An invite from Erwin McManus\n5:12 Why talk about defining moments?\n6:45 Do moments define you, or do you define them?\n7:52 Why most defining moments are negative\n8:24 How emotion burns a memory in\n10:40 Your beliefs didn't just happen\n12:12 The past only exists in what you think about it\n13:06 Black Mirror: \"The Entire History of You\"\n14:28 You remember through a filter\n17:15 Your picture of the future drives your decisions\n18:11 A negative lens makes the future worse\n19:43 Where does your conscience come from?\n20:09 Mad...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/7YsfA4gq5VzjhvmKvDET1pQqT0OM6yxv1laklKclR7g/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS83ZWZh/MTRmZDEzOWRjZGQz/Y2M2NThkNzYwOTJj/ODA4MC5qcGc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}