{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"The Dialog","title":"1.32 / Why do people stop giving you feedback?","html":"<iframe width=\"100%\" height=\"180\" frameborder=\"no\" scrolling=\"no\" seamless src=\"https://share.transistor.fm/e/f25d67a4\"></iframe>","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":1576,"description":"In my 20s I worked for my dad, and I got corrected every day. Then one day the correction stopped. So I went to my dad, nervous, and asked him not to stop. He said, \"I think you've just probably learned to correct yourself.\"\nMost people never get there. The number one reason people stop giving you feedback is that they don't think you want to change. My co-host Nick Surface and I talk about the filter everyone hears through, what maturity sounds like in a conversation, and how God corrects us before anyone else has to.\nWhy do people stop giving you feedback?\nThey believe you can change. They don't think you want to. And we don't listen because we don't really believe we have the power to change. Maybe we can't change ourselves, but God can change us (Romans 12:2).\nWhy doesn't what you said match what they heard?\nWhat you say is always at the mercy of a person's level of understanding. You're never talking to the person. You're talking to their filter.\nWhat's the mark of a mature person?\nClarifying questions. Immature people believe what they understood equals what you said. A mature person asks, \"Here's what I heard you say. Is that what you said?\"\nWhat is the conviction of the Holy Spirit?\nGod talking to you about something nobody else knows, and giving you a chance to fix it without having it exposed to the whole world. A wise person gives themselves feedback before anyone else becomes aware of it.\nScriptures\nRomans 12:2 · Matthew 25:21\nBooks\nPrimal Leadership: why leaders don't receive feedback well\nChapters\n0:00 Cold open and show intro\n0:53 What you say vs. what they understand\n1:06 Same values, different delivery\n2:16 \"You're talking to their filter\"\n2:49 The mark of maturity: clarifying questions\n3:39 Why money sermons get misheard\n4:35 When the correction suddenly stops\n6:18 What is the conviction of the Holy Spirit?\n7:14 Noticing the hurt before anyone says it\n8:27 Hurting people without knowing it\n9:28 Catch it before it blows up\n11:24 Parent out of...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/7YsfA4gq5VzjhvmKvDET1pQqT0OM6yxv1laklKclR7g/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS83ZWZh/MTRmZDEzOWRjZGQz/Y2M2NThkNzYwOTJj/ODA4MC5qcGc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}