{"type":"rich","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Transistor","provider_url":"https://transistor.fm","author_name":"Traffic School","title":"September 26th, 2025 with special guests Peaches and Bert Kreisher","html":"","width":"100%","height":180,"duration":3788,"description":"The “episode” begins not with Bert Kreischer, but with his absence—a negative space, a hungover black hole where his face should be on Zoom. Instead, Peaches mutinies, seizing the host chair like a lunatic sea captain steering a flaming tugboat into the Mariana Trench. The clock screams 8:27, Bert is missing, and time itself begins to unravel. Suddenly, the airwaves are filled with fat-guy chair conspiracies, bathroom blame, and the unholy creation of a “stink meter” that feels less like a gag and more like some Pentagon psy-ops program designed to weaponize shame.Then—impact. Lieutenant Crain crashes into the studio, not walking but materializing, a spectral lawman in a suit sharp enough to slice through human decency, radiating the smell of cordite and sunflower spit. He announces he’s “going to the range,” but the range feels metaphorical: a cosmic shooting gallery where the targets are laws, logic, and whatever scraps of sanity still remain. The broadcast mutates into an improvised congressional hearing on Idaho gun laws, where you can’t buy cough syrup without ID but you can buy a shotgun from a man named Jed in a Walmart parking lot if you pinky-swear you’re not a felon. Anonymous callers bleed in through the wires, their voices distorted, demanding answers about open carry. Crain, drunk on authority and caffeine, invites them to bring all their guns down to the station—“We’ll check ‘em live, we’ll see what sticks.” Suddenly it’s not a talk show, it’s a game show: Felon Roulette, Hosted by the State of Idaho.Bert? Still gone. His bus—plastered with his idiot-savant grin—haunts the highways like a UFO, a traveling shrine to liver damage and misplaced time zones. His absence becomes the main character: the invisible guest, the empty chair, the void in the center of the storm. To distract themselves, the hosts conjure feverish diversions: a cage match between Joe Rogan and Crain refereed by Mark Hamill, haunted passports smuggled out of purgatory, and Viktor...","thumbnail_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/qIAJ-BjOF3B3aRT7fyXuTuFEPN_4vxl4nFzS_NqVGPc/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:400/h:400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS8xZjkx/OTEzMjMyYzA0YjE5/ZDRmOTkxZDk2NjE1/MTc2OS5wbmc.webp","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300}