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Early attachment might be damaging your relationships without you noticing it.
There’s a reason insight alone doesn’t change your relationships, and it has everything to do with your body. You can understand your patterns, name your attachment style, and still feel unable to respond differently when it matters most. That gap between knowing and doing is where somatic healing, attachment theory, and nervous system regulation start to make sense in a lived way.
Dr. Diane Poole Heller, a pioneer in somatic psychology and attachment work, discusses why trauma doesn’t just live in memory, but in physiology. She shares how early relational imprints shape everything from emotional regulation to intimacy, and why those patterns can change when the body is included in the process.
We also unpack what actually builds secure attachment, why repair is more important than perfection, and how unresolved trauma shows up as disconnection, overwhelm, or withdrawal. This conversation challenged the idea that healing is cognitive and pointed to a more embodied path forward.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same relational loops, this will help you understand why.
You’ll learn:
[
03:12] Why trauma in the body shapes how you relate in real time
[
07:08] How early attachment imprints drive adult patterns outside awareness
[
12:14] What happens in your nervous system when you’re triggered
[
18:27] Why secure attachment is uncovered, not built
[
27:11] Why repair matters more than getting it right
[
35:42] What creates the gap between knowing and doing
[
40:18] How one embodied shift can break lifelong patterns
[
48:36] Why receiving love can feel threatening
[
52:10] What shame looks like in the body and how to shift it
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Resources mentioned:
Dr. Peter A. Levine: Somatic Experiencing |
WebsiteDr. Stephen Porges: Polyvagal Institute |
WebsiteJohn Bowlby’s Attachment Theory by McLeod, S. |
ArticleAttachment in Psychotherapy by David J. Wallin PhD |
Book or
AudiobookLearn more about Dr. Diane Poole Heller's trauma healing programs
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What is Reclamation Radio with Kelly Brogan MD?
It hurts to have unmet needs. And it sucks to scurry after crumbs when you’re starving. Join Kelly Brogan MD, as she teaches us how our pain points are portals. She’ll help you discover a world where every seeming challenge is a new chapter in your most audacious story. Plot twists, body symptoms, and heartbreak each represent an opportunity to own ourselves and learn to better wield the power of choice. Kelly will take you on a reclamation journey from the battlefield of victim consciousness to the sovereignty of self-devoted pleasure and expose every surprising place you’ve given your power away. Explore the tools you’ll need to find out what you want, how to ask for it and how to stand in fierce alignment with yourself.Kelly Brogan is a soul alchemist and threshold guardian devoted to the transformation of collective consciousness. As a young know-it-all atheist, candy-addict, straight-A MIT neuroscience major and Ivy-league trained psychiatrist, she specialized in feeding women, herself included, straight into the mouth of the medicated beast. After a Hashimoto’s healing journey inspired her to sound the alarm on the bait-and-switch of big pharma, she became a renegade activist—authoring the New York Times bestseller, A Mind of Your Own, and its follow-up, Own Your Self; co-editing the landmark textbook, Integrative Therapies for Depression; and eventually becoming an honorary member of the Disinformation Dozen. She is the creatrix of Vital Mind Reset, the online health reclamation program, and the membership community Vital Life Project. She’s a human, cat, and chicken mom.