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I'm going to start out with a true story.

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Two ladies in the church, Ms. Agnes and Ms.

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Mabel, had been feuding for 20 years.

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Nobody remembered what started it, including Agnes and Mabel.

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Finally, the priest had had enough.

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He called them into his office and said, "Ladies, Jesus commands us to forgive one

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another. Before you leave this office, I want you to make peace."

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Dead silence.

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Finally, Agnes looked at Mabel and said,

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"Well, Mabel, I hope when you die, you go to heaven." Now Mabel was

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stunned. She said, "Agnes, after all these years, that is the sweetest thing

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you have ever said to me."

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And Agnes replied,

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"And if you don't,

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you can go right back to where you came from."

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My sisters and brothers, Jesus understands something about the Church, that

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sometimes there are things that we would rather not admit.

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Church people are going to get on each other's nerves.

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Put enough Christians together long enough, and sooner or later, somebody is going

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to say something, do something, or forget something, misunderstand

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something, or get offended by something.

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The Church isn't comprised of perfect people.

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It's a family of redeemed sinners, and families sometimes

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have conflict.

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Lest we be mistaken, biblical peace is not pretending nothing happened.

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It's dealing with what happened in a way aimed at

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reconciliation.

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This is one of the most practical teachings Jesus ever gave the Church, and perhaps

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one of the most frequently ignored.

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In Dadeville, Alabama, back in 1996, Gabriel Taylor

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and another man got into an informal contest to see who knew the Bible

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better.

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Back and forth they went, one quoting scripture, then the other answering with

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scripture. Finally, Taylor proved to be right.

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The other man checked his Bible, discovered that Taylor knew the passage better,

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and became angry.

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Listen to what happened next.

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The man who lost the Bible contest left, came

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back with a gun,

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and shot Gabriel Taylor and killed him.

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Now think about the terrible irony of that.

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He knew enough Bible to argue about the word of God, but not

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enough to obey the word of God. He could quote scripture,

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but scripture hadn't taken root in him yet.

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There's a world of difference between having the word in your head and having the

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word in your heart. It's been said that it's possible to know the book

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and still not know the author.

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And notice that Jesus assumes that conflict will occur.

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He doesn't say, "If somehow Christians ever disagree." He says,

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"If another member of the Church sins against you."

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Listen, in Christian community,

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it does not eliminate conflict. What distinguishes

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Christian community is how we deal with it.

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So the question isn't, will Christians ever disagree?

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The question is, what do Christians do when we disagree?

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And Jesus tells us, "Go and point out the fault when the

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two of you are alone." In other words, solve the problem at the lowest

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possible level. And to do that, we need to give some serious thought

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to how we will approach the other person.

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And as we need to give some thought to our intervention,

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we need to pray for grace.

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What I'm really saying here is that before we confront our offending

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Christian sister or brother,

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we need to do our homework. We need to prepare.

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So first and foremost, we need to pray.

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And if we have a problem with another person, we need to pray for that

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person. Our prayers might change that person.

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Our prayers might also change us. Our prayers might prepare us to

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confront the other person in love rather than anger.

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And having prepared, Jesus tells us, "If

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another member of the Church sins against you, go and point out the

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fault when the two of you are alone." And notice the instruction. Go.

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Jesus doesn't say, "Tell everybody else." He doesn't say, "Form a

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committee." He doesn't say, "Call six friends and make sure they agree with you."

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And he certainly doesn't say, "Put it on FaceChat and SnapBook and let the whole

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world click on who was right."

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Jesus says, "Go." Go to your sister, go to your brother.

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Talk to the person before you talk about the person.

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That simple, but it's not easy. Because when somebody is hurt,

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our natural instinct is to find somebody who agrees with us.

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And once we find them, we tell them.

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Then they tell somebody, and that somebody tells somebody, and before

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long, everybody knows there's a problem, except, that is, the person we're having a

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problem with.

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But Jesus says, "Go privately, go personally, go prayerfully, go

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lovingly."

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And then Jesus tells us why.

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"If the member listens to you,

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you have regained that one."

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There it is. That's the heart of this whole passage.

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Jesus doesn't say, "You won the argument." He doesn't say, "You proved a point."

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He doesn't say, "Now everybody knows you're right." He says, "You have regained

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that one. You have sutured the wound." Because in the Kingdom of God,

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winning the person is more important than winning the

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argument.

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And if that private conversation doesn't work, Jesus says, "Take one or

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two others along with you." But don't misunderstand him.

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Jesus is not saying, "Go get reinforcements." They're not your posse.

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They're not your legal team. They're not there to gang up on somebody.

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They're there to bring wisdom, accountability, objectivity, and hopefully,

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reconciliation.

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And notice how Jesus expands the circle.

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One to one,

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two or three, and only then the Church.

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Jesus expands the circle only as much as is necessary.

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Now, we sometimes reverse the order.

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We tell everybody first, and the person involved last.

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But Jesus says, "Protect the person's dignity, even while confronting the

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problem."

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The matter begins privately because reconciliation is more

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important than embarrassment. The goal is not punishment, but

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reconciliation. Not humiliation, but restoration.

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Because Christian love doesn't mean pretending nothing happened.

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Christian love doesn't mean sweeping everything under the rug.

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Christian love doesn't mean smiling across the aisle on Sunday morning while

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resentment eats us alive Monday through Saturday.

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Sometimes Christian love has to say,

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"Listen,

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we need to sit down and chop it up."

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Sometimes love confronts. Sometimes love corrects.

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Sometimes love tells the truth.

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But scripture instructs us to speak the truth in love,

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because truth without love can become cruelty,

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and love without truth can become sentimentality.

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But truth spoken in love can become the path to

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reconciliation.

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Then Jesus gets to the difficult part.

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"If the offender refuses to listen even to the church,

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let such a one be to you as a Gentile and tax collector."

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And that sounds pretty ominous.

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In other words,

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there are boundaries. There are consequences.

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We cannot pretend everything is all right when something is amiss.

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And there's something we need to remember.

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Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing.

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I can choose to forgive, but reconciliation requires both of

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us.

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I can open a door, but I can't force someone else to walk through it.

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And yet Jesus says, "Treat them like Gentiles and tax

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collectors."

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Well, just how did Jesus treat Gentiles and tax collectors?

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He talked with them. He ate with them. He sought them out.

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He loved them. He called them to repentance.

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He even embraced a tax collector named Matthew and said, "Follow me."

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All that is to say that even when boundaries become necessary, grace

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does not disappear. There can be boundaries without bitterness.

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There can be discipline without vengeance.

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There can be consequences without hatred.

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And always

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leave room for grace.

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Leave room for repentance. Leave room for forgiveness.

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Leave room for somebody to return to the fold.

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And then Jesus says, "Where two or three are gathered in my name,

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there I am in the midst of them."

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We love that verse.

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But focus on the context. Jesus has been talking about two or three people

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gathered together trying to heal a broken

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relationship. So this promise is even more powerful than we sometimes

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realize because Jesus is saying, "When you sit down with somebody who hurt you,

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I am there.

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When you swallow your pride and say, 'Can we talk?'

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I am there.

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When you stop preparing your rebuttal and actually listen,

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I am there. And when you finally say,

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'I was wrong. Please forgive me,'

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I am there.

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And when two Christians choose reconciliation instead of retaliation,

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I am there." Listen, the Christian life is not about keeping score.

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How many times they hurt me, how many times I forgave them, how many times I

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apologized first, how many times I was right, how many times I was wrong.

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Jesus says, "Put down the scorecard. Forgive one another.

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Bear with one another. Restore one another.

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Love one another." Why?

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Because that is exactly

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what God has done for you.

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Think about it. When humanity sinned against God, God did not stay

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the distance. God came to us. When we wandered away, God came

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looking for us. When the relationship between God and humanity was broken,

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God didn't wait for us to figure out how to get back to Him.

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He came to us in Jesus Christ.

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And on the cross, Jesus stretched out His arms to

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reconcile us to God and to reconcile

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us to one another. So when Jesus says, "Go to your

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sister or brother," He's asking you to do for one another what

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He has already done for you.

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God came looking for you. Now we go looking for one another.

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God forgave you.

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Now we forgive one another. God reconciled with you.

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Now you become a minister of reconciliation.

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Listen. Anger in, anger out.

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What I mean by that is if we lash out at someone else in anger, they will usually

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respond with anger, and we all will get into a shouting match

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or have hurt feelings, or even worse.

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And mark this well,

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conflict in the body of Christ destroys the body.

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Make no mistake. Satan longs for the day when we're at odds with one another.

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He lives for the day when we speak ill of each other.

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He waits for the day when the rain and winds of disagreement and anger beat

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against our houses. Houses built upon unsteady foundations, houses built

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on troubled relations, houses destined to fall.

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He waits for that day, but this day is not that day.

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Satan lives for the day when division is among those cleansed by the blood of Jesus

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Christ. The day when division is among those who live in the power of the Holy

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Spirit. The day when division forms clashes among God's people,

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God's chosen people, God's redeemed people.

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Clashes that divide the faithful in Christ.

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He lives for that day, but this day is not that day.

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Satan yearns for the day when we are so mired in our own personal pride, when we

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are so selfishly focused on ourselves, that we totally ignore God's call to

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love. We ignore His call to love His sons, His daughters, His

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children. God loves you, and Satan doesn't want that to be the

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case. He lives for the day when there is dissension, but this day is not

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that day. This day is a day of promoting reconciliation.

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This day is a day of hope in the body of Christ.

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This day is a day of communal commitment to our fellow Christians.

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This day, we choose to renounce Satan and all the spiritual forces that

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rebel against God. This day, we choose to renounce the evil powers of the

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world, which corrupt and destroy the creatures of God.

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This day, we choose to renounce all the sinful desires and discords that

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draws us from the love of God. So let us mark this day in love.

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Let us mark this day in solidarity.

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Let us mark this day in unity, no longer on the beaches of conflict, but

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rising from the rock of harmony because we are one body in

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Jesus Christ. Amen.

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Amen.

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So when somebody offends you,

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go.

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When misunderstanding separates you,

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go.

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When resentment

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begins to take root, go. When pride says,

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"Let them make the first move," remember, Jesus made the first move

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towards you, and go. Go privately, go humbly, go

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prayerfully, go lovingly. But don't go to win.

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Don't go to prove a point. Don't go looking for victory.

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Go looking for your sister or brother, because the goal of Christian conflict is

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not proving who is right. The goal is restoring what

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is broken.

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You see, Jesus does not teach us how to get rid of difficult people.

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He teaches us how hard we should work not to lose them.

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And when we do that, when two or three gather in his name seeking truth, seeking

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forgiveness, seeking healing, seeking reconciliation, Jesus says, "There I

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am, smack dab in the middle of you."

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And understand this clearly.

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If Jesus in the midst of us,

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grace is in the midst of us. If Jesus is in the midst of us,

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forgiveness is in the midst of us. If Jesus is in the midst of us,

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healing is in the midst of us. And if Jesus is in the midst of us, no matter how

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deep the hurt, no matter how long the disagreement, no matter how broken the

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relationship, reconciliation is still possible.

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So don't just win the argument. Regain your sister or brother.

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And this is crucial, because in the Kingdom of God, winning the

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person is more important than winning the argument.

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Now, before I conclude the sermon, let me make one more point.

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What happens

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if you

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are not the confronting person,

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but the person being confronted?

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What happens if another Christian comes to you saying,

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"I have a problem with you,

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and I think we should sit down and talk about it."

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What happens if another Christian decides to confront you with your own sinful

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behavior? How will you respond?

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Will you listen?

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Or will you tell the other person to mind his own business?

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Will you examine your own life, your own behavior,

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or will you lash out in anger?

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If another Christian comes to you to resolve a conflict between the two of you,

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or if another Christian comes to you to confront you with your sinful behavior,

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keep in mind that they are just doing

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what Jesus told them to do.

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So give them a hearing. Consider what they're telling you.

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Pray about it. Keep in mind that the purpose is not to win the

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argument.

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The purpose is to resolve the conflict.

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In the name of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.

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Amen.