In this week's episode, Braden talks with a special guest - his wife, Kristen. They share about how they got porn out of their marriage, the process they had to go through, and the overall healing journey.
Here is a brief summary of the episode.
I (Braden) had to fully disclose my addiction to Kristen. Staying hidden will never lead to healing and freedom, so the uncomfortable and painful part of telling her was the starting point. Once the truth was told, it took us a long time to get on the same page as far as understanding the game plan to get porn out of our marriage and to get healing. Part of that was understanding that I needed real accountability. One of the big misconceptions that can happen between a husband and a wife (or vise versa), is that the spouse tries to be the day to day accountability partner for the one struggling with porn. This is not recommended. An accountability partner needs to be able to help in setting up a game plan for freedom. A spouse who is demoralized and hurt by an instance of porn use cannot do that. Studies have shown that wives who try and do that for their husbands can end up with PTSD. Not only that, but it changes the nature of the marital relationship to something akin to a cop policing the relationship. Accountability needs to be from someone who understands the battle and is not emotionally invested like a spouse. However, both husband and wife need to be in agreement about what and who the accountability is. This is part of the process of getting on the same page, including being in agreement about the protection that is placed on the devices, and the healing community that they are engaged in as a couple.
Establishing trust and choosing forgiveness
Freedom is amazing!!!
God wants you to have a purpose and a vision for your marriage. Porn often is a loss of purpose and hi-jacking of your intimacy. When porn is out of your marriage, the deepening of your intimacy together is sweet and it opens you up to see God at work not only in your marriage but towards others as well.
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Next week, Braden and Matt interview FamilyLife staff Al and Val. They share their amazing story about how they came from the brink of ending their marriage because of porn but instead started on a healing journey together to get porn out of their lives.
Fight 4 Love Ministries: A biblical plan to get porn out of your marriage
Article on FamilyLife Canada: Getting porn out of your life and marriage
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
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What is Pure Victory Podcast?
Faith-based inspiration to win at sex, conquer porn, and find purpose in staying free forever.