Toddler Toolkit

Before You Call Them a Bully: What’s Really Happening in Sibling & Friend Power Struggles

This episode is part of a 4 Part Valentine's Series! Click the link below to listen 🎧

🎧 Episode 1 — Why Siblings and Friends Spiral Faster Together (It's not Bad Behavior)
🎧 Episode 2 — Which Role Does Your Child Fall Into? (It’s Not What You Think)
🎧 Episode 3 — When Play Makes Things Worse: Protecting Your Child Without Breaking Connection 
🎧 Episode 4 — Before You Call Them a Bully: What’s Really Happening in Sibling & Friend Power Struggles(this episode)

🎉New YouTube Channel🎉: @TheHeatherSchalk

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!


In this episode, we discuss misunderstood child behaviors, focusing on 'the bully.' 
Learn how kids' roles in sibling and peer dynamics are actually nervous system strategies. Explore how behaviors like screaming, grabbing, and having meltdowns are survival responses, often misinterpreted as mere bad behavior.
I break down how roles like the rule keeper, attention seeker, fixer, and attuner interact and how pressure from these roles can cause a defending child to react strongly ('The Defender'). This episode is a deep dive into understanding the root causes behind what we see as problematic behavior, offering insights into improving relationships and emotional regulation.

00:00 Introduction to Relationship Dynamics
00:15 Understanding the 'Bully' Label
00:33 Nervous System Strategies in Children
01:07 Common Behavioral Responses
01:36 Series Recap and Episode Overview
02:42 The Role of the Defender
04:12 Attention Seekers and Defenders
05:59 Fixers and Defenders
06:56 Attune Children and Defenders
09:27 Misinterpretations and Manipulation
10:52 Emotional Reactions and Adult Responses
14:47 Final Thoughts and Upcoming Events

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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!


Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.


What is Toddler Toolkit?

The complete toolkit for understanding toddler behavior (e.g. hitting, throwing, biting, pushing), navigating tantrums and meltdowns, fostering healthy sibling relationships and dynamics so your kids can get along and raising skilled resilient self-regulated toddlers. If you have toddlers that are close in age or multiple kids then this podcast is made for you! Heather helps parents transform their aggressive toddlers behavior into a calm, kind and caring toddler with a more peaceful and joyful home.

Heather is the Founder of Heather Schalk Parenting, a Twin Mama, Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, Teacher for 10 years (pre-k through 9th grade), specialization in behavior, with her M.Ed.

Heather's passion is helping moms of toddlers who have disruptive tantrums develop proactive and 'in the moment' strategies to Transform their toddlers disruptive tantrums, aggressive ‘button-pushing’ behavior into a Calm, Kind and Caring Toddler so you have a joyful family and enjoy motherhood.

Next Toddler Mom Cohort to Transform Aggressive Toddler Behavior taught by Heather is in September 2024!