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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Beardless Dick.

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Speaker 2: Let's be I'm your host, Kevin Smith, and.

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Speaker 3: I'm Harley Quinn Smith. Is that your jacket?

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Speaker 2: It is no one old one? Or to a wedding

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Speaker 2: of two cats and.

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Speaker 3: Together no more. I think we know who we're talking about.

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Speaker 2: It cursed wedding.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you that much.

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Speaker 3: You were white to a wedding.

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Speaker 2: I was told to. That was the whole theme. Interesting,

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Speaker 2: were you about to get all like.

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Speaker 1: You know where you wanted me?

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Speaker 3: I was just wondering.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to fucking get dressed up.

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Speaker 2: They made they make it get dressed up when you

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Speaker 2: go to weddings.

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Speaker 3: Did you wear fans?

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Speaker 2: I had a yes, white fans and I had uh

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Speaker 2: white dress pants turned into shorts of sorts.

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Speaker 3: That's pretty cool. Shorts of shorts.

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Speaker 2: That's the name of this episode, shorts of sorts. Speaking

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Speaker 2: of episodes, how many more until this fucking misery? How

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Speaker 2: many more until the end of beardless stickless me?

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Speaker 1: We're going to countdown, kids.

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Speaker 2: And if you're watching this at that Kevinsmith club dot com,

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Speaker 2: you're seeing on my countenance, my face because you can

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Speaker 2: watch the show, how deeply affected I am by the

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Speaker 2: end of all this B d M coming to a

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Speaker 2: conclusion has really made me start thinking about my life

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Speaker 2: and putting things in perspective.

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Speaker 3: It's really gotten to you, Huh, not at all.

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Speaker 2: I have plans for the future. But again I'm not,

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Speaker 2: you know, like, I'm not using the last few shows

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Speaker 2: to like rag on iHeart. But it is still mystifying

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Speaker 2: to me that they're like, no, you're fired. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I didn't know we were hired.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know that we had a job in the

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Speaker 3: first blue truth.

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Speaker 2: The nice thing is when we negotiate to even go

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Speaker 2: there in the first place. The good folks who look

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Speaker 2: out for me legally were like, oh.

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Speaker 1: You own it.

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Speaker 2: You can do whatever you own wneyever you want the

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Speaker 2: standard boilerplate contract. Would have like given them the show,

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Speaker 2: but as it turns out, it wouldn't matter. We could

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Speaker 2: have left the show behind, but it is a body

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Speaker 2: of our work that will one day be valuable, maybe

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Speaker 2: not to the general public, but to you.

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Speaker 3: When I dropped dead, I hate when you say things

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Speaker 3: like this.

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Speaker 1: I no, we didn't.

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Speaker 3: Come in, come in.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, we got she opened the door such a crack.

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Speaker 3: If you're watching on that Kevin Smith Club. You just

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Speaker 3: saw a sneak peek.

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Speaker 2: And if you're not watching on that Kevin Smith Club,

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Speaker 2: I mean, apparently nobody's listening on our heart, so fucking

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Speaker 2: you must be watching on that Kevin Smith Club.

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Speaker 3: I wonder why that fire does.

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Speaker 2: You would have seen a sneak peek at the matriarch, Wow,

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Speaker 2: one of the many big air German bitches in this house. Whoa, whoa, whoa,

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Speaker 2: whoa talking about my German shepherd, wacky wacky. That's true.

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Speaker 2: If you open the door, you would have seen little Walky.

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Speaker 2: She said that Walky was right outside the door. Oh

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Speaker 2: but walk was playing a koy when we started the show,

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Speaker 2: so she's out there. People like this, why iHeart fired you.

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Speaker 2: We don't give a fuck about your dogs. Get to

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Speaker 2: the fucking dirt.

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Speaker 3: Oh you care about yeah?

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Speaker 2: Like talk about that rabbit.

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Speaker 1: As the show fucking spirals.

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Speaker 4: Down the wad.

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Speaker 3: Want to hear a story, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Fuck you, I want to hear story. But first before

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Speaker 2: you tell me the story, can I tell everybody this

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Speaker 2: is the first episode of Beardless, Stickless, mean, one of

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Speaker 2: the last. When is our live show August third? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we have sold seventy tickets so far doing well? Okay,

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Speaker 2: doing well, definitely be entering three digits one, but let's

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Speaker 2: we can still do better.

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Speaker 1: Kids.

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Speaker 2: Tickets at sea smont dot com. Come and see the

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Speaker 2: first and last performance of Beardless Tickless me? Do you

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Speaker 2: consider yourself a ticklet whatever? Really? And you have to

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Speaker 2: be there when it happens. Tickets to my birthday show.

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Speaker 3: Sold out, So second choice, that's right.

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Speaker 2: If you're like, fuck, I want to see them age,

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Speaker 2: you could see me be fifty five in a.

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Speaker 1: Day in a very roomy theater. Hey no, that's I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you. That's good. Like we are a month out.

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Speaker 3: How many seats are there?

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Speaker 1: It depends.

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Speaker 2: It could be in any theater I want. So let's

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Speaker 2: say you see what I'm.

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Speaker 3: Saying, we're moving it to the smallest is you.

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Speaker 1: Know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: We can downsize to the unty two seater and feel

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Speaker 2: like kings. The scalability of having a multiplex with five

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Speaker 2: different screens allows for the placation of one's ego. Oh

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Speaker 2: my god, are we done this many times that we've

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Speaker 2: done shows where One of my favorite fucking shows we

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Speaker 2: ever did was Revenge of the Smith and Steven, Who

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Speaker 2: is our You? Know, you know Vegan Steven who's always like,

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Speaker 2: stop fucking serning that stupid joke you say about vegans, Dude,

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Speaker 2: like you's serious, but he's like you, and he's the

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Speaker 2: one back East that has all the fucking Vegan hot

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Speaker 2: spots and stuff. Stephen pulled clips like I Jen Kaminski.

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Speaker 2: I said, hey, man, can you go through every Star

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Speaker 2: Wars movie and pull out like any scene anytime we

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Speaker 2: referenced Star Wars and stuff? And she came up with

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Speaker 2: this big list and I gave it to Steven. Steven

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Speaker 2: went and pulled all the clips, and so we did

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Speaker 2: a show called The Revenge of the Smith where I

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Speaker 2: went up and like showed the clip from I don't

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Speaker 2: know if we at the clip from Star Wars. I

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Speaker 2: think it was both the clip from Star Wars and

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Speaker 2: the clip from Maul Rats or vice versa. So you

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Speaker 2: saw the clip from the movie that that I was

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Speaker 2: inspired by, and then you saw the clip that inspired

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Speaker 2: Does that make sense?

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Speaker 1: Excellent? Hours long?

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Speaker 2: Because like I get up between each clip and fucking

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Speaker 2: tell a long ass.

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Speaker 3: Story and Ord knows your stories are long.

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Speaker 2: Twenty people, wow, yeah, yeah, but still on with the show.

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Speaker 2: I went and what a great show it was. You

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Speaker 2: talked to people who were there. You talk to Ryan, Gina,

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Speaker 2: the two people I know for a fact were there.

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Speaker 1: I know everyone was there by name.

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Speaker 2: You talked to Dan oh let me tell you those

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Speaker 2: these kids were there for something to story. But even

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Speaker 2: Steven is like what a great show man, like, I

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Speaker 2: wish there were more people there. But sometimes you just

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Speaker 2: do the show for the sake of doing the show.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like a cool idea, but we're you know,

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Speaker 2: we're not walking into like a house of shame or

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Speaker 2: some shit like. No, we have the ability to put

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Speaker 2: it in to like a two hundred and thirty seater

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Speaker 2: or a two hundred seater or a one eighty seedter

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Speaker 2: or a one twenty seater or the very cozy, very

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Speaker 2: intimate Airbnb cottage not abb what do they used to

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Speaker 2: call it before Airbnb when he went to a place.

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Speaker 3: Vacation?

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Speaker 2: No, yeah, well that is a word, but there was

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Speaker 2: a name for like when you you went and stayed

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Speaker 2: in somebody's house and it was all before Airbnb, and

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Speaker 2: they made you breakfast in the morning, and should a

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Speaker 2: bed and breakfast, Yeah, I guess I would be it.

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Speaker 2: I just left out the bed pars, like you'll sleep

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Speaker 2: there and they gave you a breakfast. Yeah, like a

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Speaker 2: bed and breakfast. What was my point about that?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. Oh, the ninety two seater is is the.

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Speaker 2: Bed and breakfast of Smart Castle, of smot Castle. Of course,

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Speaker 2: everyone remembers every show, and honestly, he wouldn't put you

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Speaker 2: in the ninety seater. Ernie always goes for the the

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Speaker 2: one twenty, which is not the one twenty. I guess

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Speaker 2: that is the one twenty because the nineties in the back.

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Speaker 2: It's the one we call the kids theater. That's the

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Speaker 2: one where we do all the kids' birthday parties. That's

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Speaker 2: where like they go fucking sugar crazy and smash the

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Speaker 2: cupcakes into the fucking cloth seats. Little jerks, animals, animals, savages.

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Speaker 2: But I can't say nothing because I made clerks and

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Speaker 2: they can be.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh, you fucking sell out? What happened to Just

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Speaker 1: because they serve you doesn't mean they like you.

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Speaker 2: Having a hating on the boss and shit, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: you're right. That's why I can never yell at the

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Speaker 2: staff at Smadcastle. They sit around on their phones and

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Speaker 2: shit and I'm like oooh inside. But outside. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I gotta play it. Clerk's cool man, I gotta be silent, Bob,

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Speaker 2: and shit literally by not saying the thing I want

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Speaker 2: to say, which is like, get off your fucking phone,

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Speaker 2: pick up that popcorn on the floor. Can't be that guy,

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Speaker 2: you know. I got fired from a job once for

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Speaker 2: not picking up a salad bowl that I left on

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Speaker 2: the floor and stared at it, and the manager of

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Speaker 2: the place was just like he walked past it. It

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Speaker 2: slipped off the bus bucket. You you clean a table

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Speaker 2: at a restaurant, shit, well, the one I worked at,

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Speaker 2: Like the tray wasn't hidden. The bus bucket was at

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Speaker 2: the bus station, so it sat on like a side

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Speaker 2: little table like a luggage rack that you put your

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Speaker 2: luggage on at a hotel, opens up folding rack and

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Speaker 2: so it was very full. Should have been taken into

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Speaker 2: the back. And that's also probably part of the story.

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Speaker 2: Salad bowl, like those fake wooden looking salad boles, slides

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Speaker 2: off onto the floor. Me and Mike Bellicos leaning on

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Speaker 2: our station, and we both saw it fall and we

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Speaker 2: didn't move. And then our waitress, we saw her talk

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Speaker 2: to Alan, our boss, and she came over. I was like,

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Speaker 2: what Alan's say, and she goes, he couldn't believe that

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Speaker 2: you two watched that salad bowl fall onto the floor

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Speaker 2: and neither of you moved to pick it up. So

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Speaker 2: when Alan every twenty five minutes, as the manager, would

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Speaker 2: do his rounds in the restaurant, so he did a

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Speaker 2: complete round at all the tables, checked in, how's everybody doing,

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Speaker 2: if somebody needed something, blah blah blah. Good manager, kind

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Speaker 2: of good for the people eating there, kind of an

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Speaker 2: asshole to the staff. But this was my dick move.

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Speaker 2: So Alan's coming up to do his round and I

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Speaker 2: took a salad bowl and I put it on the

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Speaker 2: floor and I just stared at him. And Alan comes

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Speaker 2: up to me and goes, all right, Kevin, you can

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Speaker 2: go home this evening. I was like, are we slow?

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Speaker 2: And he goes, no, you know what you did. I

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Speaker 2: was like, at my fire and he goes, no, you're

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Speaker 2: not fired. Call me in tomorrow and we'll talk about it.

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Speaker 2: And when I called in the morning to talk about it,

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Speaker 2: you were fired. I was fired. He did the smartest

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Speaker 2: thing because I would have been like, oh.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna fire me, Like the restaurant.

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Speaker 1: Salad bowls all over the floor.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Admittedly I'm fifty four year old man. It was a

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Speaker 2: dick move. But in any event, I have to say,

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Speaker 2: that's why I can't fire. Can ever say to my

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Speaker 2: crew like be better, you know, because I wasn't. Wow,

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Speaker 2: that's paying it forward in the worst possible.

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Speaker 3: Way, in the least effective way.

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Speaker 2: You had a story to tell. It was about let's

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Speaker 2: hear about the bunny.

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Speaker 3: Bee and you already know the story, actually, but they don't.

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Speaker 3: So bill Be has started going on my bed.

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Speaker 2: Going on the bed, meaning like I'm on the bed,

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Speaker 2: I'm on the bed, bounce, bounce on.

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Speaker 3: But I have to put some like pillows on the

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Speaker 3: ground so.

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Speaker 2: That he starts there. Yeah, he can't quite make it.

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Speaker 3: I think he could. I've seen him do it one time.

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Speaker 2: But with a pillow he's making he's unstoppable and unstoppab.

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Speaker 3: One night Be has to be let out to run

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Speaker 3: around at least once a day. He gets he gets

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Speaker 3: the zuomies, and he he has a little house, a

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Speaker 3: two story house. Yes, But then we let him out

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Speaker 3: for like a few hours a day in but does

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Speaker 3: the zuomies, yes, zoom. We have to put up little

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Speaker 3: little Bill Walls because yes, he does very bad things

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Speaker 3: in the back.

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Speaker 2: Room wires and doing such bad things.

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Speaker 3: So the other night I thought, I'll just let Bue

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Speaker 3: room while I sleep. Austin was not going to sleep

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Speaker 3: at the time I was going to sleep. Did stay

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Speaker 3: up all night, I'm pretty sure, but I wanted Bew

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Speaker 3: to roam around while I slept, and I kept waking

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Speaker 3: up in Bue would be on.

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Speaker 4: Top of me on the bed.

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Speaker 2: He got on your chest, like nose to nose, or

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Speaker 2: just like he.

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Speaker 3: Would be running around on the bed and he would

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Speaker 3: hop on me and then hop off, and he would

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Speaker 3: be so cute. And then eventually Austin did come to bed,

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Speaker 3: and then be was like sleeping next to him, and

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Speaker 3: it was It was very exciting. It seemed like the

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Speaker 3: start of something brand new, an era lived ever after

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Speaker 3: was an air of Bew on the bed. And then

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Speaker 3: we woke up and discovered Bew had peed all over

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Speaker 3: us and the bed.

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Speaker 2: Bill was just a pissing machine. Was he staying in

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Speaker 2: one place and pissing?

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Speaker 3: No, he was run around and pissing many spots of peace.

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Speaker 2: Is there a chance, as I suggested yesterday, that he

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Speaker 2: laid on his back, spun around, just pissed in there

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Speaker 2: and that's how the streams went all over your bed.

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Speaker 2: My mother found that notion hysterical. That really captured imagining

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Speaker 2: what is wrong with you? Why?

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Speaker 3: I would be that would be a really wonderful image

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Speaker 3: if that is what happened.

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Speaker 2: But what's being communicated with all that urination? What is

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Speaker 2: Bill trying to tell you? Marking you your mind?

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Speaker 3: You marry you? May could be maybe I don't know

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Speaker 3: what was trying to tell me YouTube, No, I don't

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Speaker 3: know what he was trying to tell me.

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Speaker 2: But I really thought I'm going skat games. That's what

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to tell you. Golden showers bitches, No, no, please,

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Speaker 2: And you're going to be in the tues no please.

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Speaker 3: I really thought we were going to enter an era

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Speaker 3: of sleeping on.

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Speaker 2: The bed and I can't think of no more pillows

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Speaker 2: on the floor. From now, it's time to build a

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Speaker 2: motor around the bed. Mote filled with bill urine would

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Speaker 2: be okay to swim in you? You know you you?

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Speaker 2: That sounds like a kid's book if I ever heard it.

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Speaker 2: You be you The other day I was I don't

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Speaker 2: know if I should share this then don't. It's not

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Speaker 2: even like remotely scandalous. It's more about if I share it,

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Speaker 2: then the idea is no.

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Speaker 3: Longer okay mine only you can share it.

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Speaker 2: No, well, that's the thing. If it's if I share it,

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Speaker 2: then other people can google it and it'll create a

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Speaker 2: thing and it'll go because I I came up with

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Speaker 2: a term where you know, I was in conversation with

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Speaker 2: your mother and I used a term where I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, that sounds very cool. I wonder if

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Speaker 2: anyone's ever use that term? Is that a thing? Is

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Speaker 2: there a book called that? And I looked it up

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Speaker 2: and there was none. It's rare when you can look

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Speaker 2: up something on Google and there's no previous entry or use.

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Speaker 2: So I was like, maybe I should call my book that,

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Speaker 2: But I'm like, that's a It would have nothing to

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Speaker 2: do with anything. But it is a cool title. But

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to share it. I'll tell you afterwards.

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Speaker 2: Tell me after you know, I'm going to write it down.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, let me see.

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Speaker 2: This is just not for the audience to hear, like,

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Speaker 2: you know, because I might it might, I might could

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Speaker 2: be a thing.

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Speaker 3: The book is titled Abuse Grandpa, I Abuse grandpappy.

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Speaker 2: Taking crewd from a pisson rabbit and ship that ain't marketable.

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Speaker 3: Hello, I abuse grandpappy.

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Speaker 2: Get him to do funny things like fucking ducks, fucking

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00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:24,240
Speaker 2: funk around with redheaded long mustache dudes, little dudes. Get

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00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:29,320
Speaker 2: him to like, you know, fucking I'm trying to think,

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Speaker 2: who else bugs bunny and face down the mafia? Oh

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Speaker 2: that I was like all things bugs bunny, selection or

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Speaker 2: you pulling from I'm only fucking pulling from the most

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Speaker 2: famous rabbit whoever didn't really live. Almost there with this title,

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Speaker 2: almost done writing it, I'm ready. I'm gonna text it

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Speaker 2: to you. Oh yeah, that's right. Technology all right, read it,

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Speaker 2: don't read it aloud. It's a fucking fire title, isn't it.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gods, I looked it up.

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Speaker 2: Then that expression doesn't exist anymore.

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Speaker 3: That has nothing to do with it anything, I think so,

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Speaker 3: But I love it.

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Speaker 2: It's a good title, right. I was very proud of that,

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00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,919
Speaker 2: and the fact that it hadn't been used anywhere. Are

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Speaker 2: you googling it now? I double checking my work or

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Speaker 2: something that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I just had to fact check.

329
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,920
Speaker 2: And it didn't come up right. No, it's tough to do.

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00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,359
Speaker 2: I did that a couple of times. Last week. I

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Speaker 2: was very proud of myself coming up with shit don't exist.

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Speaker 2: Good you tough on the Sick World?

333
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Speaker 1: All right?

334
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,480
Speaker 2: How many episodes left?

335
00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:45,920
Speaker 3: I believe two?

336
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Speaker 2: Are you serious?

337
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:52,440
Speaker 3: We had five left? We've done two of said five.

338
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Speaker 2: So three, well this one, oh, and then after this one,

339
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,840
Speaker 2: and then after this one, so then the one after

340
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:05,800
Speaker 2: this and that we can literally do like you know,

341
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:10,160
Speaker 2: to home shows and then have the well the last

342
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Speaker 2: ones that are always going to be the live one,

343
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Speaker 2: So you want to be there for it. Kids, Man,

344
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,879
Speaker 2: you're going to see You're going to see a motherfucker

345
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,440
Speaker 2: act her dick off.

346
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Speaker 1: Give me back my name moment you're going to.

347
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,520
Speaker 2: See it, And she had to actor dick off because

348
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 2: she's playing a man, so true poetic. That's what I

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Speaker 2: would have wrote in the in the critics notes. If

350
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,520
Speaker 2: I was writing for the schools. Your school paper called

351
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 2: the Archer school paper the Oracle, So if I was

352
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Speaker 2: reviewing the show for the Oracle, that's what I've said.

353
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Speaker 2: She Harley Quinn Smith in.

354
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Speaker 4: The role.

355
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Speaker 2: Explosive, in the role of John Proctor, acted her dick off.

356
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Speaker 2: You know what, thank you and everyone, and I er

357
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 2: would have been like, well, number one, I would have

358
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Speaker 2: been called to the principal's office. But like, what you

359
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:05,359
Speaker 2: can't say that?

360
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:06,480
Speaker 3: Are you thinking it's.

361
00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,159
Speaker 2: A gear on your mind? We're in an all gar school.

362
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Speaker 2: I can say that, like number one, you're a forty

363
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:11,440
Speaker 2: five year old man.

364
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,679
Speaker 3: Well, why are you writing for the Oracle?

365
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,200
Speaker 2: Yeah? Because my daughter's in the show everything.

366
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 1: She acted dink Off, she was playing a man.

367
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,159
Speaker 3: How did you get out the Oracle because.

368
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,159
Speaker 2: Nobody else is doing shit with it?

369
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,360
Speaker 3: Do you want to know something?

370
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:24,760
Speaker 1: Yeah?

371
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 2: I do deeply.

372
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,120
Speaker 3: It's really embarrassing.

373
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,680
Speaker 2: I want to know a secret.

374
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:34,320
Speaker 3: What it's really really embarrassing for.

375
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,840
Speaker 2: Me or you? For me? It comes from the Archer days.

376
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 2: It's an Archer memory. Yeah, now, ladies and gentlemen, an

377
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 2: Archer memory with Harley Quinn Smith.

378
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 3: I never wanted to say this, but since we're in

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Speaker 3: the final days.

380
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,440
Speaker 2: Of Archer reflection with Harley Quinn Smith.

381
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Speaker 3: Okay, So here's the honest truth for those that are like, what.

382
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,879
Speaker 2: The fuck are they talking about? Archer was a all girls'

383
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:05,960
Speaker 2: school that Harley went to over in Brentwood, and you

384
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:13,919
Speaker 2: went there from grades six to twelve, Yes, six spectacular years.

385
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 2: Of the best education one can get in the la

386
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Speaker 2: based area. Harley's take on it slightly different than.

387
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Speaker 3: The brochures six seven, six, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleven, twelve,

388
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 3: seven years.

389
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, well they've taught you something because.

390
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,680
Speaker 1: You knew you know math far better than your father.

391
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 2: So you know, I know you don't like the place,

392
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,240
Speaker 2: but they've fucking done good because something. Although one could

393
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:45,040
Speaker 2: argue you learned basic math at the Little Red Schoolhouse?

394
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,919
Speaker 3: Do we do Wade Schoolhouse in.

395
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 2: Your scholastic career? We know how you feel about Archer,

396
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 2: It's on record. Did you like the Little Red Schoolhouse?

397
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 3: Loved it?

398
00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 2: So if the Little Red school House what went to

399
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:01,000
Speaker 2: twelfth grade?

400
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:06,159
Speaker 3: I would have stayed you think so? Mom probably wouldn't

401
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 3: love me, but I loved it. It was great school,

402
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:09,439
Speaker 3: nothing but good memories.

403
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:13,120
Speaker 2: That were still friends with? Motherfuckers? Who you were friends with? Hell?

404
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, am my friends with anyone from Archer?

405
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 2: No?

406
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 5: Is that right?

407
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:17,640
Speaker 2: Not a single Archer, buddy.

408
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 3: There's like a few that I that I stay in

409
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:26,399
Speaker 3: loose contact with. Hey, Hey, I miss you, but didn't

410
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,679
Speaker 3: hate you too much. No, you never finished.

411
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 2: So what's the embarrassing thing? Oh?

412
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,680
Speaker 3: Get ready to make to make matters worse.

413
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 2: See, this is what happens when our heart cancels the show.

414
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,880
Speaker 3: The truth comes out. Yeah, the truth calms out.

415
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. I watch the ratings go through the roof and

416
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 2: then we get a call from mister the president.

417
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 3: I heart mister Hart.

418
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, mister Hart himself. He's like, I heart. I was like,

419
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 2: I Kevin, thank you, and he's like, I just called

420
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 2: to say that I Archer show. Will you please come back?

421
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:05,640
Speaker 2: And I was like, only for double what you paid

422
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 2: his last time? So he's like double zero. Fantastic, welcome

423
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:14,560
Speaker 2: back and welcome back scene. Anyway, there you are an archer,

424
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 2: all right? Here I was, and you had to make

425
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 2: a farcher.

426
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 3: So I don't know if you recall. I don't know

427
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 3: why you would recall. But the Crucible Yeah had two casts. Yeah,

428
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 3: there was, Well it was.

429
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 2: Really the b cast. Is this what that story's bout?

430
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 3: I mean, in the story, you're gonna find out something.

431
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 2: Oh ship, were you an understudy? I was not.

432
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 3: It was two shows understudy.

433
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,600
Speaker 1: What it's not an understudy? What the fuck do you think?

434
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 2: I am? Dad?

435
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,160
Speaker 3: It was two and two shows?

436
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:51,399
Speaker 2: Okay, but we did the other show. Who was the

437
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 2: other John, who is the lesser John Proctor.

438
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 3: The John less Apparently it wasn't. It wasn't lesser, but

439
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,640
Speaker 3: her name was Tolly. I can't remember her last name.

440
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 3: And there was an alternate Abigail as well. So Gracie

441
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 3: was my Abigail, mamily.

442
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 2: My mom, your that would have been a memorable show.

443
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 1: Give me back my name woman.

444
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 2: And she's just like, hey, Harley Cooky, It's just like,

445
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 2: now this is experimental, worthy of.

446
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,959
Speaker 3: This black box theater, pushing the narrative.

447
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,640
Speaker 2: So Gracie Abrams was your Abigail. You're John Proctor. Yes,

448
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 2: so she's the one that you're bitching.

449
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 1: That give me back my name name. Literally, in the

450
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: plot of.

451
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 2: The Crucible, this bitch Abigail steals John Proctor's fucking name.

452
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:47,719
Speaker 3: Is that what happens?

453
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 2: And he spends the whole movie fighting ninjas to get

454
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 2: it back. I believe that's the version I saw. That

455
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 2: was pretty big. There is a play, a musical, or

456
00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 2: just a show. I'm Broadway right now on Proctors The Villain,

457
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 2: the musical or just a play.

458
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 3: I think there's music in it, but I can't be sure.

459
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 3: I read a review yesterday that said it has pop

460
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 3: music in it.

461
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 2: I want to see it. Oh, so it could be

462
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 2: a jukebox music.

463
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 3: It could be and my friend is going to be

464
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:13,960
Speaker 3: starring in it.

465
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 2: Get us tickets, brah. And can you ask her for

466
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 2: cheap hotel rooms while we're in the city.

467
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 3: Could you get us a deal at a hotel?

468
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 2: New York's fucking expensive? Man, You say that as a

469
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 2: kid from Jersey because it's doubly insulting because I'm like, look,

470
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 2: I don't want to be here in the first place,

471
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,640
Speaker 2: and you charge me this much money to be here.

472
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 2: I come from right over there.

473
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 1: I could go right the fuck back there.

474
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 2: The thing about New York is like, and fucking go

475
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 2: back there with your fuck go back to Jersey. Oh

476
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 2: my god, that's where I grew up. Jeez, I grew

477
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 2: up in New Jersey. Really, yeah, we only have It's

478
00:24:54,920 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 2: the state with two eyes and Italian.

479
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 3: AnyWho.

480
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,879
Speaker 2: So that's how they talk. That's how my relatives spoke.

481
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 2: I had relatives that spoke like I wish I wish

482
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 2: like that. No, we don't.

483
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 3: It makes us. It makes us cool.

484
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:23,880
Speaker 2: You know who? Uh, your buddy Jess Vegan street Fair Jess.

485
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 2: She has a bronx accent. She does, and it sounds

486
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 2: perfect on her, But that on me.

487
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 3: No, I wish no way, I wish I had that

488
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:34,399
Speaker 3: going for me.

489
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 2: I wish you had it and you had a chance. Bitch,

490
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 2: you grew you were born in fucking Jersey and you

491
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 2: turned your back on it. You were like and you

492
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 2: went west.

493
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 3: Yes, when we moved when I was one and a half,

494
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 3: you could have put.

495
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 2: Your baby foot down and somebody would have had a

496
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 2: piece of paper with a footprint on it and then

497
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 2: put it up on the wall. Because you were so

498
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 2: cherished in loved. Yes, you easily could have been fucking

499
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 2: so Jersey. No, your mother never would have let you

500
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 2: be like true Jersey, like the girls like I grew

501
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 2: up with, like Jersey chicks, Jersey girls, if you will, wow,

502
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 2: where would she have sent you to school over there?

503
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 2: But you don't. I mean you're obviously I'm Central Jersey,

504
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 2: so you can't really hear it in my voice.

505
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't have a.

506
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 2: Accent. South Jersey has a kind of Philly adjacent accent,

507
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 2: and North Jersey has New York Staten Island Long Island accent.

508
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,719
Speaker 2: But civilized folks who live in Central Jersey, we're our

509
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 2: own people. We sound like ourselves, unidentifiable. You couldn't pick

510
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 2: us out. You don't know if I'm from California, Iowa,

511
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 2: Rhode Island, Hawaii.

512
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 3: Until you start speaking for one second and mentioned Red Bank,

513
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 3: Atlantic Highlands, Moncastle Cinema's clerk Jersey girl, and then people

514
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 3: are like, oh, he's that guy. He's a quick stop

515
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 3: perhaps m.

516
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 2: Congratulations. We haven't gotten to the end of the story,

517
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 2: and we will get there, but congratulations, you're you're in

518
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 2: a comic book that came out today.

519
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 3: Well, congratulations, you had a comic book come out today.

520
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 2: And Archie meets Jane Silent Bob Millie plays a big role,

521
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:31,919
Speaker 2: and she and they rendered you in the Archie style,

522
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 2: which is like, fucking adorable.

523
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 3: That's so excited.

524
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 2: And Millie's narrative has moved forward because it's in it's

525
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 2: in cont new it's cannon as far as I'm if.

526
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 3: Only Riverdale was still going right, Oh my god, we can.

527
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 2: Segue you over to that show. Jesse over at Archie

528
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,200
Speaker 2: is just like, would you do this animated? If I

529
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 2: get the money? I was like, fuck, yes, hopefully we're

530
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,880
Speaker 2: gonna track down loot. Fucking would have a voice job,

531
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 2: and shit, okay, imagine because everyone loves my voice, we

532
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 2: want we want a different voice. I'm like, but she

533
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 2: is the character and I'm like, yeah, but we want

534
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 2: like Elf Fanning to play her. I'm like El Fanning,

535
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 2: like the girl from Super eight. I'm like, oh, I

536
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 2: know who she is, but she you got that kind

537
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:20,920
Speaker 2: of hel Fanning money.

538
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 3: You can get me for real cheap.

539
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, Harley will do it for like scale scale minus ten.

540
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 2: She'll pay her agent.

541
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: Finish your tail.

542
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 2: So you were, as far as I was concerned, the

543
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 2: lead along with Gracie Abrams in a production of the Crucible.

544
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 2: But what you're throwing on the table now is there

545
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 2: was an alternate, a multi versal production of The Crucible

546
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 2: in which neither of you essayed those roles.

547
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 3: We were in the ensemble during those shows, so.

548
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 2: You had to watch somebody else be like give me

549
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 2: back my name. Woman in the background. You were like,

550
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 2: I was like, you're saying along way was?

551
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 3: They were like, can you stop, You're distracting us.

552
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 2: I can't concentrate on any of the action. I was

553
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 2: riveted by the actress in the back who There's a

554
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 2: clip in E T which did you ever see E T. Yes,

555
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 2: I don't know, like kids weren't you know, I don't

556
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 2: remember forcing you to watch that and stuff. But I

557
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 2: don't even know if kids engage with ET anymore today.

558
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 3: I would definitely say so.

559
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 2: Little kids, I don't know.

560
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 3: I guess I mean little kids.

561
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 2: I don't know what the hell they're doing they're watching?

562
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 2: Was that zooma boom? What was that thing that you

563
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 2: were like? Oh? La boo boo? Yeah, that's it. They're

564
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 2: all about la boo boo and whatnot. Oh my gosh,

565
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 2: they the wait, what was my point?

566
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 3: Got lost in the boma fo kids?

567
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: Oh?

568
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 3: Et?

569
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 2: So in E T there's a scene thank you. In

570
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 2: E T. There's a scene where the sh around the

571
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 2: table before they go out to the shed where they

572
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 2: hear noise, and young Henry Thomas plays Elliott. He's barking

573
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 2: at the kids at the table, one of whom is

574
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 2: a young C. Thomas Howel the other kid who plays

575
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 2: his brother. And then there's another guy at the table

576
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 2: and I can't remember if it's young Seen Thomas Howl

577
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 2: or the other boy at the table. But when he

578
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 2: when you know, Elliott goes shut up and everyone looks

579
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 2: at him. And he goes, nobody go out there. If

580
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 2: you watch the scene, the boy who's back is kind

581
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 2: of a camera, but it's more of a three quarter.

582
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 2: As Elliott is saying it, he goes, you can watch

583
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 2: him say, that's so goofy. He's very silly.

584
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Does the et Ride still exist in Florida?

585
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 2: In Florida, I don't think so. Don't exist up in Hollywood?

586
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they killed that long time.

587
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 3: I think it exists in Florida.

588
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 2: No, I don't think it exists anywhere. Yeah, God, if

589
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 2: I'm we know only there was a way to find out.

590
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 2: Me me me yam me me me good Bye Hardly,

591
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 2: Oh my god, bye kid, Then goodbye birdie lady. I

592
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 2: think good bye you.

593
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 3: Really is et though? Is the t Ride?

594
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 2: That's why I canceled the show, Like this ain't fucking entertainment.

595
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 2: Nobody wants to watch you fucking bitches, Google stupid ship.

596
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: Nobody fucking cares about memore.

597
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 3: Leave me alone.

598
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 2: It is open at the universally.

599
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, still exists et Ride.

600
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,120
Speaker 3: Let's get our asses about there.

601
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 2: Why it's the fucking worst there. There's my hot take.

602
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 2: This is what's going to get us picked up again though.

603
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 2: Oh wait, what a fucking thirty year old theme park

604
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 2: dark ride.

605
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: That's his hot take. He's standing on business.

606
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, that ride sucks. No one fucking doesn't. Dude.

607
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 2: It's trash.

608
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 3: Are you fucking kidding?

609
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 2: Total trash?

610
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 3: I look it, but you're on a little bike, ratchet,

611
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 3: You're on your own little bike.

612
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 4: Look it.

613
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 2: I'd rather go to Keensburg Amusement Park. Oh my god,

614
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 2: one of their fucking rides.

615
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 3: Please put some goddamn respect on the eut rides.

616
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 2: Now. You put all the respect in the world on

617
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 2: the movie. But that ride, even for its time, was.

618
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 3: A big letdown, all right, And what's your favorite ride

619
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 3: in the world of all times? The Simpsons ride a universal.

620
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 2: I mean, I did love that, but that's not my

621
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 2: favorite ride in the whole world.

622
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 3: What's your favorite ride in the whole world?

623
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 2: If I had to narrow it down.

624
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 3: You're probably getting rid of the Simpsons right by the way, Yeah.

625
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 2: That makes sense, right, Like, at the end of the day,

626
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 2: Disney owns the Simpsons, so they're like, we'll do it.

627
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 3: That made me so nauseous.

628
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 2: Love that ride, but it was you know, that replace

629
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 2: Back to the Future, which was a fantastic.

630
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 3: I don't think ever you were on it.

631
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 2: You just don't remember because you were.

632
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 3: Right, of course, his child.

633
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 2: What was that before?

634
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 3: Your favorite ride?

635
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 2: My favorite ride? I think it would have to be

636
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 2: like Hauna Mansion. Excuse me still to this day. Really,

637
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 2: it's my pace, my speed. I don't need it to

638
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 2: be thrilled. I can throw myself and I'm thrilled enough

639
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 2: to see the ghosts and ship like that. I don't

640
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 2: need it to go super fast and down fucking slopes

641
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 2: and ship which you know what? And also the voice,

642
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 2: I'm your host ghost hoast that is? That's Paul Freeze.

643
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 2: Oh is it? You know Paul Freeze also played to.

644
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 1: Oh he smokes Bullwinkle.

645
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, whoa, that's cool.

646
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 2: He did a lot of vocal work back in the day.

647
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 2: He had that voice. He's also the voice of the

648
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:11,280
Speaker 2: Pirate turn Around girls show him here. Well they probably

649
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 2: took that off the Pirate Ride, right they the women.

650
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 3: For the best, for the absolute best.

651
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:22,320
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I can't fighting you by a stretch of imagination.

652
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to think of his voice. I think

653
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:29,319
Speaker 2: he's also Blackbeard or whoever you know they got two

654
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 2: pirate ships or pirate ship and a fort fighting. I

655
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 2: think he's the lead pirate as well. But he does

656
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:37,840
Speaker 2: a lot of vocal work for Disney so did.

657
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 1: Back in the day.

658
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 3: You have your voice and a ride at Disneyland.

659
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:49,839
Speaker 2: Right, Oh my, I'll I'm your host, ghosts and they

660
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 2: will never get rid of that voice. I conic read

661
00:34:56,600 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 2: this voices now ghost actually read this. Al Disneyland announced

662
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 2: his closure a beloved ride a seventieth anniversary celebration a

663
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,759
Speaker 2: kicks off, so they closing it temporarily to.

664
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, but doesn't that seem so misleading?

665
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, they put up a picture of the of the

666
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 2: of the.

667
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 3: Haunted mansion saying it's right, but it ain't. But no,

668
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 3: but this is the New York Post And I found

669
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,359
Speaker 3: that so misleading.

670
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:32,040
Speaker 1: What that's like saying like I went to the beach

671
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,400
Speaker 1: and there was sad I didn't know that.

672
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,239
Speaker 2: It was like a New York Post invented bait and

673
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:40,760
Speaker 2: switch before there was an Internet.

674
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 3: That it's that was crazy to me.

675
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:47,319
Speaker 2: My friends just described the opinion of most New York

676
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 2: Post readers since they started publishing.

677
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 3: That's I didn't know.

678
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 2: I'm your Post is the home of the most famous

679
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 2: fucking headline in headline history.

680
00:35:57,040 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: What what is it? Headless body found in topless bar?

681
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 2: WHOA, It's true headline, I mean one of the other ones.

682
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:12,319
Speaker 2: Cop gives waitress two million dollar tip. And they turned

683
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 2: that into a movie. And that was the name of

684
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 2: the title of the movie when they were shooting it,

685
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,359
Speaker 2: and then they changed it right before it came out,

686
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:23,279
Speaker 2: and guess what they called it now. I'm gonna give

687
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:27,280
Speaker 2: you that title again, Cop gives waitress two million dollar tip. Memorable,

688
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 2: isn't it? Yeah, you would never forget the title of

689
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,800
Speaker 2: that movie. It was that and I came from a

690
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 2: New York Post headline, but it got noted and exect

691
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 2: to death with people going, I don't know how many

692
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 2: people understand that. And so they changed the title too,

693
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 2: the very generic, very vanilla milkshake. It could happen to you.

694
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 2: Nicholas Cage Bridget Fonda went from fucking a movie with

695
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 2: a killer.

696
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:58,919
Speaker 1: Title, no doubt.

697
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,840
Speaker 2: That's the whole reason they opened a script. If they

698
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,240
Speaker 2: were handed a script at that point in their careers,

699
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 2: they're both like maestros of their craft and commanding huge salaries.

700
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 1: If somebody handing them a.

701
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 2: Screenplay on covers that it could happen to you. They

702
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 2: would not even open the fucking script.

703
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,320
Speaker 1: Well gotten to open the script? Was that cool? Last title?

704
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 3: It's a good point.

705
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 2: Then the student thank you.

706
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 3: Mistakes were made.

707
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 2: I just wanted to say that my whole life, and

708
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 2: I finally said it. There you go.

709
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:25,759
Speaker 3: Great job.

710
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,399
Speaker 2: Maybe the show coming to it and is for the best,

711
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 2: because now I'm starting to say all the shit I

712
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 2: never said before anything else.

713
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 3: I didn't finish the Crucible story.

714
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 1: I'm waiting.

715
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 3: Okay. So here's where it gets a little scandalous.

716
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:38,720
Speaker 1: Okay.

717
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:46,839
Speaker 3: There was a school theater yearly award show of all

718
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,239
Speaker 3: the schools.

719
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:51,799
Speaker 2: So not just Archer, no, of all the schools, all

720
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 2: what schools called private girls schools or schools in the

721
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 2: district or schools in America, schools.

722
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 3: In the district, I'm assuming, and critics of the sort

723
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 3: high school theater reviewers so oh.

724
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 2: Like people that wrote for the Oracle and shit, no.

725
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 3: No, these are full adults would come.

726
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 1: It was adult and for the Oracle until.

727
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 2: They threw me out.

728
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 3: They would come and watch the performances, and then at

729
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 3: a certain point in the year there would be nominations

730
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 3: announced four different categories.

731
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 2: This is part of the story where you present the

732
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 2: one that you won your certificate.

733
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:38,760
Speaker 3: I was not nominated, however, the other John Proctor.

734
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:47,320
Speaker 1: Was, and I believe she won for the whole school world.

735
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 2: Yes, the Interscholastic John Proctor Award went to the John Proctor.

736
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 1: Who was the other John Proctor?

737
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 2: To you, Yeah, the kmart On Proctor became the Tiffany

738
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:03,720
Speaker 2: John Proctor.

739
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 3: Apparently I was the kmart.

740
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 1: That John Proctor was.

741
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 2: Tasha Leone? Who was it?

742
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 1: Something?

743
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:14,879
Speaker 2: Did she go on to act?

744
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 3: I don't think so. I don't know what. I don't know.

745
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 3: As I said, I can't remember her last name.

746
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not like it ain't like in your

747
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 2: fugging face. But you may not have won, but you've

748
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 2: been in movies like Quentin Tarantino puts you in a movie.

749
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 3: But I didn't win that award for my role as

750
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 3: John Proctor.

751
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 2: Yes, he won in life, and I would say that

752
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 2: being in the Quentin Tarantino movie, particularly that one which

753
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 2: is fucking beloved. They're making a sequel. Do you think

754
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 2: you get to be in it?

755
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 3: I don't think so.

756
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 1: What what if Brad Pitt's coming back? They gotta bring

757
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 1: you back? All the once is who's directing it.

758
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 2: It's a Fincher.

759
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,720
Speaker 1: I'm calling my boy Fincher, who I only met once.

760
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 2: Ironically, I was wearing this jacket when I met it.

761
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 1: So everything's coming whole circle. On the third to last episode,

762
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 1: a beardless, dickless me. Why our hearts getting rid of it?

763
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 2: I got no idea.

764
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 3: Lousen's finally being tied up in the in the third.

765
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,280
Speaker 2: Last episodes, right, just like any good fucking mini series.

766
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 2: And should problem is, we don't know it was a

767
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 2: mini series. We thought it was a Maxi series, and

768
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 2: we're for thinking that we are Neo Maxi Zoom Dweebees.

769
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 2: What was that? Neo Maxis and Deweebees?

770
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 3: The boomfoo the boomoo?

771
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 2: What is it really called? The boo boo? The boo

772
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 2: foo boo boo la foo boo boo. That was our

773
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:42,919
Speaker 2: name for you when you were a little boo boola foo.

774
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 2: There was an award in this house that says the

775
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 2: boo boo la fool. That's well, you didn't win the

776
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,320
Speaker 2: interscholastic contests. And I'm honestly glad I didn't know that

777
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 2: until now because it would have changed our relationships.

778
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 3: You would have disowned early on.

779
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,479
Speaker 2: To your face, I would be like fucking the loving

780
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 2: dad I was, But inside I'd be like.

781
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:12,360
Speaker 4: Only one daughter and the shame she has brought to

782
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 4: this house by not being the best job progg in

783
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 4: the Interscholastic contest.

784
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 1: I just found out about in the Year of My

785
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: Lord twenty twenty seventeen, I was invited to.

786
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 2: Do a thing, and I'm gonna tell you what it is,

787
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:40,680
Speaker 2: but it was let me see. It's an awards ceremony

788
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:45,800
Speaker 2: for little kids. Okay, it's called I guess, let me

789
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,800
Speaker 2: see if you've ever heard of it? The Young Artist Academy,

790
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 2: Hollywood's longest running youth awards, established nineteen seventy eight. You

791
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 2: ever win one?

792
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,240
Speaker 3: That seems a little rude to see.

793
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 2: A nonprofit organization dedicated to drinking young artists. Memorandum of

794
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 2: understanding the Young Artist Academy. Kevin Spit hosting the forty

795
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:15,319
Speaker 2: sixth annual Young Arts Academy Awards on July nineteenth, twenty

796
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:15,879
Speaker 2: twenty five.

797
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 1: Problem is, I'm not hosting. They sent me this thing,

798
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 1: and I was like, my fucking hosting. I read it

799
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 1: the other day.

800
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 2: I thought I was presenting again an award and I

801
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, I'm over present it's only at the DGA.

802
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 1: I can roll down there. No, because I got this

803
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 1: thing and I'm like hosting.

804
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 2: What the fuck? So I called up Jordan and I

805
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 2: was like, I ain't hosting anything. I said yes to presenting.

806
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 2: She goes read the document and I went back and

807
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 2: looked at the document and it does say they were

808
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 2: offering me the hosting duties, but I just assumed they

809
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 2: had had other names, and I thought it was just

810
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 2: like here's the other presenters.

811
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:51,839
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, great.

812
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 2: So I had to be like, bro, look I love

813
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:56,359
Speaker 2: to help out, but I got build boundaries and shit

814
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 2: like that, like I got no ties this organization. I'm

815
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 2: happy to present, but like I'm not your host or anything.

816
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 2: And so they came back and said, can you do

817
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,760
Speaker 2: the opening two minute speech and present the first award?

818
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 2: And I was like yeah, okay, and they're like all right,

819
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 2: we're gonna call that host though. Oh my god, So

820
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 2: I'm hosting, uh open the show with the one to

821
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:23,560
Speaker 2: two minute speech and introduce the first awards. Category script

822
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 2: will be provided so.

823
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 3: I don't have to like you're not gonna say it.

824
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 2: Let me tell you some someone gives you a.

825
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 1: Script, don't no script, Oh no no.

826
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 2: If they need me to stay on script, I will.

827
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:37,839
Speaker 2: It's a young Person's award, So I'm not gonna get

828
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 2: up there and be like you motherfucking little cutlets have

829
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:46,399
Speaker 2: not understand that like this, Fuck yeah, I can't.

830
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 3: I mean, I could foresee you doing that of that before.

831
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,880
Speaker 2: I'm not saying like, what are you dumb? I'm asking

832
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 2: have you ever heard.

833
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 1: Of that before?

834
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 3: Say it again?

835
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 2: The I didn't memorize it, Well, you are the host.

836
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,920
Speaker 1: I'm on record, Harley on record.

837
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:02,520
Speaker 3: I'm posting on Instagram.

838
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 2: I mean, they're they already said, They're like, we're putting

839
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 2: this up, you know, in the world tomorrow. And I

840
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:13,320
Speaker 2: was like, okay, I guess the Young Artist Academy.

841
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 1: They're doing it at the DGA, which is for.

842
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 2: The uninitiated, the Director's Guild of America, which is not

843
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,480
Speaker 2: far from where we live. And as a DGA member,

844
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 2: I know exactly where the places and it's right across

845
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 2: the street from where we used to drop Harley off.

846
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 3: To go to school, where I went to school to

847
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 3: play a role that I would did not get a

848
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:36,800
Speaker 3: word nominator.

849
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 2: The school that was like nominator dominate the other one,

850
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:41,839
Speaker 2: the other one.

851
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: Proctor number one, Wait what nothing.

852
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 3: Nothing, I'm propter number two, Proctor B.

853
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 2: Was that dude involved, mister fucking Skanky or.

854
00:44:56,040 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 3: Whatever his name was, mister Farley, y'all'll name him.

855
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 2: He was not. Oh, so you can't blame this on him.

856
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 3: Now look at that.

857
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:14,399
Speaker 2: Now the healing can begin.

858
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 3: And just now the healing can begin twenty twenty five.

859
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 2: You can reach out to old Fartley and be like,

860
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 2: you know what, man, you were like that fucking dude

861
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 2: in the Drummond movie. You pushed me whiplash, You're my whiplash,

862
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 2: and you give him a big hug. Credits Oh my god,

863
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 2: title iHeart Fartley. Yes, now that's a script that Bridget

864
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 2: Fauna and Nick Cage at the height of their careers,

865
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 2: would open up title. But if it then became the

866
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 2: blandly titled Friendship, I forgot.

867
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 1: They just did that movie. Wait, take a podcast. Was

868
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: no slam on that.

869
00:45:56,640 --> 00:46:00,880
Speaker 2: Movie, but I think with a bland title on purpose.

870
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:05,479
Speaker 2: But if they went with a it happens all the time,

871
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:07,520
Speaker 2: that's kind of bland.

872
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:09,879
Speaker 3: What was the other article.

873
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 1: Called Headless Body found in Topless Bar.

874
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:15,280
Speaker 3: And has no one made that movie?

875
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 1: I know, you would think, because I believe they.

876
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 2: I believe for some reason in my head, I've connected

877
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 2: David Spade to a movie with that name. But I

878
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 2: don't know they ever made it. Maybe I read an

879
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 2: article about they were talking about doing it. Headless Body

880
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:34,800
Speaker 2: Found in the Topless Bark. I think we found the

881
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 2: new episode title. My heart's like, that's a little disturbing. Now.

882
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 2: I'm like, hey man, we're on our way out the door.

883
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:48,399
Speaker 3: Oh my god, just let it ride, Just let it ride, please.

884
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 3: Nineteen ninety five, a comedy crime movie with a four

885
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 3: point seven out of ten rating on IMDb.

886
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:57,360
Speaker 2: Is David Spade in it?

887
00:46:58,600 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 1: Am?

888
00:46:58,760 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 2: I correct?

889
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 3: David Selby? No, Paul Williams, no, April Grace, No, Jennifer McDonald, no,

890
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 3: Raymond Berry. No, I'm not. I'm not seeing David Spade.

891
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 2: It's called The Headless Body Found in Topless Bar. Yes,

892
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 2: who directed it? It's a great headliner.

893
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:38,480
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Ten years ago, the genius behind Headless

894
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,319
Speaker 3: Body in Topless Bar, the headline died.

895
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 2: The copywriter who came up with Headless Body Found in

896
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 2: Topless Bar?

897
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:48,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, read his name?

898
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 2: Give miss Proppers.

899
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 3: Gives his name.

900
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 2: Oh h vincent A Masuto, Oh Vince Masudo.

901
00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 1: That's quality writing like Shakespeare.

902
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:02,959
Speaker 2: That will live forever.

903
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 3: We'll never forget you.

904
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 2: How many words headless body found in topless Bar?

905
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:17,520
Speaker 1: Six words that tell a very specific story that ever.

906
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 2: Almost anybody who's been alive for like at least twenty years,

907
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:24,920
Speaker 2: maybe even ten can get their head around there it is?

908
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 2: What year was the date on the headline? So I

909
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 2: want to say I was working on really read it.

910
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:37,400
Speaker 3: Here I can tell you is this say.

911
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:42,280
Speaker 2: Let me see.

912
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 1: Bh baye blah blah blah.

913
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 2: Headless bought atoms Bar forty years later, So I should

914
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 2: tell you the story right there, let's see.

915
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,360
Speaker 1: By nineteen eighty three standards. There you go.

916
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 2: That shit happened in nineteen eighty three.

917
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 3: I was around for it, man, and it really left

918
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 3: an impact.

919
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:08,959
Speaker 2: Captured the captured the nation's imagination. Because again, evocative as fuck,

920
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:11,240
Speaker 2: Like that's.

921
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 1: Some tabloid headlining.

922
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 2: If you ever fucking once in a lifetime headline, you

923
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:19,240
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. It really is a headless headline.

924
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 3: No less, Wow, thank you that was a good one.

925
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 2: Well, I could have worked in the post, but I

926
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,920
Speaker 2: had lower ambitions. Indie film, I says to myself, could.

927
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:32,839
Speaker 3: Have been headless, body phone.

928
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 2: Indy film is the place to be. Farm living is

929
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:40,759
Speaker 2: the life for me. You didn't grow up with like

930
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:43,400
Speaker 2: Green Acres, did you? You would have loved it. They

931
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,040
Speaker 2: had a pig named Arnold. He became so fucking famous

932
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 2: people tuned in to watch that pig. Really, it's a

933
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 2: simpler time. Yeah, there were like three channels. It was

934
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 2: very easy to impress people. Very much harder now and

935
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:57,840
Speaker 2: now they got an AI. You can tell a fucking

936
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:03,280
Speaker 2: thing to create a thing from scratch and they would will. God, entertainment,

937
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:07,719
Speaker 2: that's the future. That's the future, and I have no

938
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 2: part in that unless I can get people to pay

939
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 2: me to type into an AI what they want to see.

940
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:19,759
Speaker 3: Oh God, let's not spiral out of control here.

941
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:22,479
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. If we're gonna talk about

942
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,439
Speaker 2: the future, I ain't gonna fight the future. I'm gonna

943
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:29,080
Speaker 2: fucking look forward to the future. Because me and Harley

944
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 2: had a meeting about the future the other day, which

945
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 2: is bright.

946
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 3: It is bright like a phoenix.

947
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:44,880
Speaker 2: What's gonna rise from the ashes of this fucking burnt,

948
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 2: crispy little show? It's gonna be something worth see. Yeah,

949
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 2: burn to a fucking Chris Burnt Crispy is gonna be

950
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:03,359
Speaker 2: worth watching. It really will watch us grow.

951
00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:07,720
Speaker 3: I truly think we're evolving in the right direction.

952
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 1: Look, I'm gonna look forward to it because the hook

953
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 1: is good.

954
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 2: It is, it's satisfying, you could say so least. Yeah,

955
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 2: So it's a good thing. We got plans, big plans,

956
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 2: big fucking plans. We were fired, but now they didn't

957
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 2: throw us overboard. You know what here, let me put

958
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 2: it this way. I stole this from Ralph He he

959
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 2: used this in reference to he'd worked at k Rock

960
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:44,040
Speaker 2: for years and then one day they fucking fired him.

961
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:46,479
Speaker 2: That was it, because they were doing cutbacks and shit.

962
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 2: And you know, then he went and because we've been

963
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 2: doing Hollywood Babylon for a while, he was like, oh,

964
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 2: I can fucking make my own podcast. And so he

965
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,319
Speaker 2: started the Ralf Report and he lives on the Raff

966
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 2: Report man his Patreon right so beyond. And he did

967
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:03,640
Speaker 2: that years before anybody else, years before the rest of

968
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 2: the cats who were at Kevin and Bean got fired

969
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:09,319
Speaker 2: and had to figure out how to do the same

970
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 2: thing he had to figure out years before, so he

971
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:17,359
Speaker 2: put it thusly, and I think it's I think it's

972
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:22,360
Speaker 2: works in reference to iHeart as well, Ralph said of

973
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:27,200
Speaker 2: k Rock, I thought they threw me overboard, and then

974
00:52:27,239 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 2: I realized they'd thrown me into a lifeboat.

975
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:34,920
Speaker 3: Right, okay, right, so true.

976
00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 2: We could be you know, it could be a case of, well,

977
00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 2: we're making it a case. I heard throw us overboard,

978
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 2: But we fucking we tumbled into a lifeboat, speeding away

979
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 2: from this fucking sinking wreck of a podcast.

980
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:57,439
Speaker 1: Beardless, dickless me. There's only a few left. You better

981
00:52:57,480 --> 00:52:58,239
Speaker 1: fucking enjoy him.

982
00:52:58,280 --> 00:52:59,280
Speaker 2: Kids, And if you're.

983
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 1: Listening and you'd never seen it before, you want to

984
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:02,840
Speaker 1: lay eyes on it.

985
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 2: Go to that Kevin Smith club or come to the

986
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:08,000
Speaker 2: live fucking show.

987
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 3: You gotta come to the live.

988
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 2: Charlie's bringing every dick lit shirt she got left in

989
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 2: the world.

990
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 3: You better sell them out, Yeah, man, you.

991
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,239
Speaker 2: Gotta buy them shirt. She needs it, and shit, she

992
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:18,600
Speaker 2: can't afford to fly that shit back home.

993
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 3: I can't once it gets there.

994
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:23,840
Speaker 2: Whatever she don't sell, she's just thrown out in the

995
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 2: dumpster and back anyway.

996
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 3: So you better buy them, or you could just wait

997
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:30,759
Speaker 3: to get them for out of there's that.

998
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:32,720
Speaker 2: If you want to go dumpster diving for some pretty

999
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 2: nice shirt, it's fair enough. Beardless Dickless Me Live Kids Sunday,

1000
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 2: August third. Tickets at c smot dot com or some

1001
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:48,120
Speaker 2: Mydcastle Cinemas website s my Castle Cinemas dot com. You're

1002
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 2: not gonna want to miss it, No, come see it live.

1003
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:53,320
Speaker 3: And if you miss getting tickets to my dad's birthday show.

1004
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:55,760
Speaker 2: Well well well that's the next best way to celebrate.

1005
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 2: We're having a Viking funeral for our podcast.

1006
00:53:58,520 --> 00:53:59,000
Speaker 3: We really are.

1007
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:01,800
Speaker 2: Come watch us burn the show to the fucking ground.

1008
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 3: It's already crispy, and.

1009
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:05,360
Speaker 2: Watch it with the burnt crispy show that it is.

1010
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 2: Watch what comes out of it? Watch what happens copyright keV.

1011
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 2: Watch what happens live there copyright keV in that show.

1012
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 3: That's the show.

1013
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's your beardless dick.

1014
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:24,040
Speaker 2: Let's meet for this week. Man. People like shows are

1015
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 2: getting shorter.

1016
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:27,760
Speaker 3: Yeah we're fired.

1017
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 2: Yeah I'm gonna hear like it. There's a goddamn show.

1018
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 2: We literally got fired and we were like, uh should

1019
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:41,040
Speaker 2: we finish? Like oh thanks, so so two more after this,

1020
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:43,919
Speaker 2: two more and then the live show. I mean yeah,

1021
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:44,959
Speaker 2: technic could be anything.

1022
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:45,840
Speaker 3: It can be anything.

1023
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 2: Two more home shows and then the live show, or

1024
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:51,080
Speaker 2: at the very least one more home show and then

1025
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 2: the live show.

1026
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:53,920
Speaker 3: We'll see what We'll see what we got.

1027
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:55,920
Speaker 2: Are you going to San Diego?

1028
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:56,400
Speaker 1: Kids?

1029
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:00,319
Speaker 2: I don't even know why I'm doing this. Only person

1030
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:04,279
Speaker 2: who watches the show and listens is Virginia, and I

1031
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,319
Speaker 2: know she's not going to San Diego. If you're going

1032
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:09,240
Speaker 2: to San Diego Comic Con, there are some live shows

1033
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 2: happening down there, kids. I'm doing Hollywood Babylon with Ralph,

1034
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 2: I'm doing Me and Jay are doing Archie meets Jane,

1035
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,399
Speaker 2: Sound Abob Live. Gonna read it? Don't you come down

1036
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 2: and read Betty and Veronica? Do it as built? Do

1037
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 2: you know what? Can you find out who played the

1038
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:26,560
Speaker 2: other John Proctor? And I could put in a call

1039
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 2: and see if that person will come down and read

1040
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 2: Betty and Veronica too soon?

1041
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:36,720
Speaker 3: I was very vulnerable today. Hey, I told you the truth.

1042
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,840
Speaker 2: You won. You don't need that award.

1043
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:41,560
Speaker 1: You got the Award of Life again. And it's so

1044
00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 1: weird that I'm like, you weren't a Quentin Tarantina.

1045
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 2: I mean, you were also in many Kevin Smith movies

1046
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:52,359
Speaker 2: bariently that means nothing but Kevin. You know, people could

1047
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:55,040
Speaker 2: be like, oh, Vulgan is your dad, but Quentin Tarantina

1048
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:57,000
Speaker 2: went your dad as far as I fucking know, So

1049
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 2: him casting.

1050
00:55:57,760 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 1: You in a movie is all merit faced.

1051
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:03,120
Speaker 2: Ship. What the fuck You're like? I got a surprise

1052
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 2: for you. I wasn't the best John Proctor. I was like, well,

1053
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,360
Speaker 2: I'm going to ship and you're like, good, here's the

1054
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 2: real surprise.

1055
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:10,080
Speaker 1: Quentin tarantine is my dad?

1056
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:11,480
Speaker 3: Like, what the fuck?

1057
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 2: There it is? Kids, there's your beardless stickless me for

1058
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 2: this week, and we're gonna go do beardless dickless plus

1059
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 2: behind the club wall Man at that Kevin Smith club.

1060
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 3: For the third to last time.

1061
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:28,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's ending to people like, what the fuck? It's

1062
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:30,360
Speaker 2: all coming to clothes? But wait, doing you see what

1063
00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:35,319
Speaker 2: fucking comes after it? Oooh, all right, there it is kause,

1064
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 2: there's your beardless stickles's me for beardless stickless me. I'm

1065
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:40,960
Speaker 2: Kevin Smith. Go have a beardless stickless day.

1066
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 5: This has been a podcast production some podcast podcast using

1067
00:56:55,640 --> 00:57:02,439
Speaker 5: our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey, kids,

1068
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:03,719
Speaker 5: did you like what you just heard?

1069
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 2: Well?

1070
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:07,200
Speaker 5: Guess what we've got tons more man thousands of hours

1071
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:11,120
Speaker 5: of podcasts waiting for you at that kevinsmithclub dot com.

1072
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:12,399
Speaker 2: Go sign up now,