[0:00:02] Crystal Ware: Welcome to the Get Clear with Crystal Ware podcast, the place where we get clear on our goals, own our worth, and learn to be the CEOs of our own lives. I'm your host, Crystal Ware, lawyer and former Fortune 500 corporate leader who found the confidence to say goodbye to a lucrative career and start my own business. Now I'm opening up the playbook and sharing everything I've learn to get you there faster. It may not be easy, but it will always be worth it because you ware made for more. So put on your big girl pants, jump on board, and let's reach for the stars. Are you ready to get clear?

[0:00:38] Crystal Ware: Welcome back to Get Clear with Crystal Ware, where I want to talk to you guys about something that I am uncovering in myself. I know you guys are here because you want the best out of life. You want to maximize your happiness. You want to feel as fulfilled and successful as you can in life, in career, in love, in every aspect of your life. And that is amazing. And, you know, I truly believe that you can. And that is why I dedicate myself to bringing timely, appropriate topics to help you get there faster than I did. So one of the things that I have been uncovering about myself in ways that I can continually improve because I am on this quest right, with you guys, right? I'm not perfect. There are still things that I have to work on within myself. And one of those was highlighted in the conversation we had with Haley recently on feminine versus masculine energy and how you can clear into one or the other to improve your goals and achieve your objectives, because that is what it's all about. So backing up on that, what does this even mean, this masculine versus feminine energy? We both have everybody has both of these energies. It's just what do you lead with? And while it may not always come across on the show, I definitely lead with the masculine energy.

[0:02:08] Crystal Ware: I am a hard hitting go getter doer. I'm going to force it. I'm going to make it happen. I'm going to find a way. Masculine energy is really linear and outcome focused. It values problem solving. So if you come to me and you want to talk about things that are going on, the issues that you're having, I'm going to want to give you solutions. That is who I am. That is what I think of when I say somebody is coming to me and talking to me about these issues. They must want my help in figuring it out, not just listening and commiserating. And I have noticed and uncovered that that's not what people always want. That's not, in fact, what my husband always wants or friends. Sometimes they just want you to listen and talk about it. So when you understand these things about yourself, you can see how it affects your interpersonal relationships and that goes for how you act and behave in work as well. The masculine energy is often also looking into the future and living for the future to create and protect and build.

[0:03:13] Crystal Ware: To contrast that, we have the feminine energy which is much more focused on the present, the here, the now. It values connection, processes, relationship growth through support and nurturing. It can be very supportive, but also it can work to the negative if it's not balanced. Because of our hustle culture, our Americans want to work so hard and go all out and work, work, work. It's about the grit. It's about how many hours you're putting in. It's about building and doing and growing. We have kind of created an environment where the masculine energy is really what is forcing and coming out. And what I have noticed in my own self is that it can be really problematic for me at times when I'm leading in that masculine energy, I'm just focused on getting a job done. Sometimes I can have an abrasive response to people or I can tell you when I was working away in my office and somebody drops in to say hello, if I'm super locked in and focused, I may be brush them off instead of pausing and saying yes, what's going on? Let me feel how you are, let me sense what you need from me because I'm just so locked in. It's not that I have any intent to hurt feelings or brush somebody off or make them feel like I don't want to hear. I actually love talking to people and working through things with people and chitchatting and socializing and having that connection. I really do love it. But when I'm focused on something and a task has to be done, that's what the driving force is.

[0:05:03] Crystal Ware: So that's where that masculine energy comes in. And I've also noticed that this comes into play and creates conflict sometimes with my husband. And so as I've learned more about these nuances between the masculine and the feminine energy, I'm really aware of where and how it's coming out and how I can push forward to lean into my feminine energy more and grow into that in a more balanced manner. Because at the end of the day, that's what it's all about, having balances of the energy. We're not just one, we're not just the other. And since I've kind of been on this entrepreneurial journey, what I have realized and in some of the deals I've done in investment, is you cannot force everything. And when you force things, it's not always good stuff that comes to you. So when you want to change your career, when you want to build a business, you can relax into your feminine energy and allow it to create connectivity with others, allow it to flow into your networking opportunities and using it in that way can really, really benefit where you're headed. And where you want to go. There are so many avenues in where we can look at how have I been reacting, how have I been taking things in, how have I been emotionally when it comes to where I want to go in my future and how I want to grow and build and see myself. It's always good to have goals and to build out into that final destination. We do need to have an end goal in mind, but backing it up and being more present and letting the day carry us sometimes and not being upset about that or frustrated or talk to yourself in negative self talk where you're saying you're being lazy, you need to be more productive. That's the masculine energy. Trying to fight against whatever intuitively is within your spirit and your soul telling you I need a break, I need to take some time off. And when you feel that it can sometimes be a signal to you that you need a pause and leading with that intuition and where we need to be in the here and now can be very valuable to you.

[0:07:36] Crystal Ware: It can change how you show your leadership skills, it can change how you show with conflict resolution, it can change in your interactions with all of those that are working near, around or for you. Some of the areas where there could be growth opportunities in using more feminine energy in business building is for one where we have conflict. The feminine energy is really best to use when you handle conflict. It allows you to listen in, to empathize, to see the other side and to pull together and respond in a way that makes sense instead of racing to a quick fix. It's also important to think about in goal setting where the goals and staying open minded and receptive to what matters most, instead of sticking to what your predefined goals and steps are. It allows you the feminine energy will allow you to be more amenable to changes, to working around the river that goes around and carving around the rocks instead of trying to go and blast through and creating a tunnel instead. That would be the masculine energy. It's also helpful when you are selling, if you are selling a product, selling a service, just sales oriented industries at all. The feminine quality keeps a wider perspective around selling and is likely to be curious about what other parties really need. What would be a win win situation, asking those right questions instead of coming into the situation thinking I know it all, I have the answers, let me lead, let me take charge. They want to hear that I'm an expert. It's listening in, being softer and then using an approach that reflects what you've been given. It's a much softer approach and then one of the biggest ways, and this is where I have really seen my feminine energy coming out lately is in ideation generating ideas creativity. Okay? There is somewhere along the lines in our education system where creativity is not necessarily fostered.

[0:10:02] Crystal Ware: As kids we are so full of ideas and creating magical worlds and landscapes and pretend friends that slowly goes away because it is not fostered in our culture. Leaning into the feminine energy allows you to be more open minded and appreciative and reflective and accepting of these ideas, these creative things that may be coming to you and that can be where your best work is done. It may be that deep down you've always wanted to write a book but you thought I wasn't creative. That's exactly what I used to tell myself. I'm just not a really creative person, I'm not a really artsy person. But as I've opened up the pathways and listened in more to my feminine energy, I realized that is not true at all. I have a lot of great and creative ideas and I am generating them not just for myself but all kinds of people around me and putting out all of these ideas. And the more ideas you have and that you reflect on and that you think about and you sit with, the more you can say a good idea from a bad idea. It is the law of averages to some degree. And when you're married too tightly to one thing, which is kind of the masculine energy coming in, then you can lose sight of pivots and other areas where you can generate something better off of an old idea or a new idea. So listening into that can make a huge difference. And then a final way is in pressurized situations when you're in business or you're in corporate or you have a high pace pressurized job, the masculine energy can be very harsh and very self critical. When you're at work, if you stay in your feminine energy or borrow that at times it's going to allow you to be more self compassionate, more understanding of what is going on with the situation. Sometimes we do need to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and say get after it girl. You need to go.

[0:12:18] Crystal Ware: You need to go work hard, you need to do the dang thing. But other times we really need to look in the mirror and say gosh, I have been working so hard, I have been building something up. I have been logging the hours and I just need to step back for a few days, for a few moments and relax. And that's okay too. That is balance. And again, with our culture it's just really easy for us to lean into that masculine energy, look around us and say everybody's working so hard, everybody's doing this, everybody's logged in at all times, coming back to work, doing after hours things, hitting it hard, work, work, hustle, hustle, hustle. That only takes us so far. It really does. At some point we have to balance ourself out and use that feminine energy that we have within ourselves, to nurture ourselves, to love ourselves, to be compassionate about where we are and how we feel today, most of us default to a preference in one or the other. And your preference may be different at home than it is in business or work. So you also need to keep that in mind. But if we think about what the feminine energy brings to the table and what it brings into business a calming effect, a creative side, a compassionate and empathetic side. And we use some of those positive energies and positive characteristics to build out our business and our brand and our personal identity and use it when we're mentoring people or we're leading a team, things can go so amazingly well. I remember a boss that I had way back when, when I was 16 years old, working at a big water park. She was so calm and rarely yelled and she had all of us, 150 or so 1617 and 18 year olds under her direction.

[0:14:22] Crystal Ware: And I was privy walking in the office to how she engaged with other people and also how she engaged with me. And I just remember this is how impactful it was. And now thinking about it in the lens of masculine and feminine energy, she was a boss babe for sure. She dominated, but she didn't do it with a big heavy stick. She did it quietly and subtly and she listened and she brought that feminine energy. But you also knew she meant business. So you don't have to be harsh to lead people, you don't have to be harsh for people to know that you're the boss. You lead with your intellect, you lead with your knowledge and your skill. And when you show people that you care about them, that you're willing to listen, that you can make the time and that people are people, those are all things leading into your feminine energy. It can take you from being an average employee or an average leader to being top of the line. When we focus on building out the other side of ourselves and having more balance in which way we lean. Now, I've spoken more about leaning into the feminine energy and that's because I really do dominate and lead with the masculine energy. But it can be the other side. If you are finding that you ware more soft, more reserved, less likely to get out in front, maybe you need to lean into your masculine energy as well and say if I want to take a leadership position, if I want to be the lead of this project. If I want to get to the next level, then I'm going to have to also take some time to work into how I position myself.

[0:16:14] Crystal Ware: To be heard, to be seen as an expert, to be seen as a leader and leaning more into that masculine energy. But it's always good to keep a balance and that is what life is all about. So I would love to know where you find yourself. Are you more on the masculine side or more on the feminine side and do you see that that moderates at all between how you are at home and how you are at the office or do you lead with one all the time and in your relationship as well? I think that if you start focusing on these qualities and how you see yourself and perceive yourself in both your relationships and your friendships and at work and you start noticing that and seeing where you can flipped the script a little bit. I think that you will start finding where areas that you can improve and work towards integrating them both more to great success. And I really think that it can help businesses. And we need more. Women leaders out there. We need more women in business ownership. We need this feminine energy to be out there and for people to see and fill it. And it will do wonders to shape and reshape the culture around us. So thank you for joining me and listening in and listening as I talk about some areas that I am growing and really working on. I know that the things that are affecting me are affecting everyone else and any tips and tools and areas of my life that I can share to help you get there and be the successful, happy person that you need to be and that you want to be and that you deserve to be. I am happy to do that.

[0:17:59] Crystal Ware: So let me know if there's anything else we should talk about soon and we will keep getting clear and keep working on reaching those high levels of success and happiness.

[0:18:12] Crystal Ware: Thanks for listening in. If you loved what you heard, it would mean so much to me if you shared it with your friends. Tag us on social media so we.

[0:18:19] Crystal Ware: Can give you a big shout out.

[0:18:21] Crystal Ware: Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on Apple podcasts. If you want more, head on over to the website where you can learn all about what we do to serve and support our entire community. Until next time, keep dreaming big and getting clear. You are made for more so start living like it today.