WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:06.114 --> 00:00:06.594 Lindsay: Hey guys. 00:00:06.624 --> 00:00:09.354 Welcome to the Lifting Lindsay podcast. 00:00:10.104 --> 00:00:14.994 Today I want to share a quote from a book that we're reading, 00:00:15.554 --> 00:00:16.994 in the Be Strong membership. 00:00:17.324 --> 00:00:21.764 It's called The Mountain is You Transforming Self-Sabotage 00:00:22.274 --> 00:00:23.624 into Self Mastery. 00:00:23.654 --> 00:00:26.954 Now, for any of you who have followed me for a while, you know 00:00:26.954 --> 00:00:28.814 I love a good self-help book. 00:00:29.324 --> 00:00:30.254 I really do. 00:00:31.034 --> 00:00:32.174 So this is a new one. 00:00:32.174 --> 00:00:33.224 I haven't read it before. 00:00:34.109 --> 00:00:38.919 But it, it's, it's turning into one that I will, definitely 00:00:38.924 --> 00:00:40.989 be encouraging people to read. 00:00:41.499 --> 00:00:48.909 And it's just very, very uplifting and inspiring and it's so positive and it is 00:00:48.914 --> 00:00:52.959 not shame-based encouragement to change. 00:00:52.989 --> 00:00:58.899 I, I think she did an amazing job of really empowering you with 00:00:59.799 --> 00:01:02.559 understanding and desire to change. 00:01:03.724 --> 00:01:07.524 I wanted to share this one quote because I thought it was so good. 00:01:08.124 --> 00:01:12.354 I wanna speak on it a little bit because it reminded me of, 00:01:12.974 --> 00:01:15.974 something that happened in my own life that I'd like to share. 00:01:16.319 --> 00:01:26.114 And then it reminded me of a question that I get a lot with clients when 00:01:26.114 --> 00:01:28.844 they're frustrated because they feel like. 00:01:29.909 --> 00:01:30.599 What do I do? 00:01:30.599 --> 00:01:35.699 My friends, they don't encourage me. 00:01:35.699 --> 00:01:37.589 They're not understanding. 00:01:37.889 --> 00:01:39.659 Um, sometimes they're rude. 00:01:39.959 --> 00:01:46.999 Uh, my mother-in-law feels the need to make comments, about what I eat 00:01:47.059 --> 00:01:53.599 and how I look every time I go to, Sunday Family Dinner, that those. 00:01:54.334 --> 00:01:59.814 Were questions that I got a lot as, I coached people 00:01:59.814 --> 00:02:00.354 one-on-one. 00:02:01.764 --> 00:02:05.454 So I wanna share this quote with you from this book, Mountain is 00:02:05.459 --> 00:02:11.474 You and I really would encourage those of you, it is so good. 00:02:11.474 --> 00:02:12.644 I really like it. 00:02:12.764 --> 00:02:16.664 And so I, this is a book that I, I do wanna encourage others to listen to. 00:02:17.204 --> 00:02:19.364 I really like listening to books when I walk. 00:02:20.444 --> 00:02:25.664 I have books that I read and then I also have books that are on Audible 00:02:26.234 --> 00:02:28.424 that I listen to when I, when I walk. 00:02:28.874 --> 00:02:33.494 And part of, in the Be Strong membership, there's the the Walking Book Club. 00:02:33.494 --> 00:02:38.024 And every month we have a new book and I encourage you just to walk 00:02:38.024 --> 00:02:40.034 for 15 minutes and listen to it. 00:02:40.544 --> 00:02:46.844 'cause I do think it's important that as we are trying to step into 00:02:46.934 --> 00:02:48.464 the best version of ourselves. 00:02:48.764 --> 00:02:56.264 And I'm not, when I say that, I hope, you know, I'm not just referring to fat loss. 00:02:56.264 --> 00:03:00.254 The best version of yourself is fat loss because it's not for everybody. 00:03:01.274 --> 00:03:06.104 And for most people, the best version of themselves looks like 00:03:06.944 --> 00:03:13.934 building muscle and doing hard things every day and learning how to, um. 00:03:14.414 --> 00:03:20.594 Eat proper nutrition so that you can just function with high energy and that, 00:03:20.984 --> 00:03:27.104 that your sleep is good and that you can actually think well and you feel 00:03:27.104 --> 00:03:32.744 good and you don't have an unhealthy relationship with food and fitness. 00:03:32.744 --> 00:03:42.164 Like health looks so different for everybody, and I wanna encourage everybody 00:03:42.434 --> 00:03:49.454 to find the healthy lifestyle that, that fuels them and makes them feel the best. 00:03:50.054 --> 00:03:54.314 One person, the healthy lifestyle is going to the gym six times a week 00:03:54.314 --> 00:03:58.184 because it's their, their time and they, they love it and they'll spend 00:03:58.184 --> 00:04:02.384 an hour and a half, sometimes two hours, and they just, they love it. 00:04:02.384 --> 00:04:06.194 You know, they send their kids to school and head to the gym and 00:04:06.194 --> 00:04:09.254 it is an amazing time for them. 00:04:09.254 --> 00:04:12.734 And then they feel like they can tackle the whole day. 00:04:12.794 --> 00:04:18.164 Other people are like, well, they have a different life and schedule 00:04:18.164 --> 00:04:23.564 and they have, you know, three days a week that they can get into the gym. 00:04:23.564 --> 00:04:29.114 And that's health for them, right? 00:04:29.144 --> 00:04:31.214 That's what healthy looks like for them. 00:04:31.214 --> 00:04:36.644 And, and in between, um, you know, breaks at work, they can go and do 10 00:04:36.644 --> 00:04:38.624 minute walks just to get their mind. 00:04:39.149 --> 00:04:41.909 Thinking really well, and just that blood flow. 00:04:42.269 --> 00:04:47.069 It, it really does help with productivity just to not be sitting at a desk the 00:04:47.069 --> 00:04:50.999 whole time, but look for opportunities to, to walk and move and then they 00:04:50.999 --> 00:04:52.199 can be more productive at work. 00:04:52.469 --> 00:04:57.689 This the, there's, there's so much versatility. 00:04:58.529 --> 00:04:59.724 There's not a one. 00:05:01.424 --> 00:05:06.044 Prescription for everybody across the board when it comes to what a 00:05:06.044 --> 00:05:09.464 healthy lifestyle is for you, right? 00:05:09.464 --> 00:05:14.324 Some women, a healthy lifestyle is absolutely no alcohol. 00:05:14.324 --> 00:05:18.494 Some women, it's like, no, it's that one drink I have Saturday 00:05:18.674 --> 00:05:19.844 night with my husband, right? 00:05:20.414 --> 00:05:28.454 You have to find what health is for you. 00:05:29.909 --> 00:05:32.609 A healthy balance in your life. 00:05:34.469 --> 00:05:41.549 But when I'm talking about stepping into our higher selves, I'm really 00:05:41.549 --> 00:05:44.399 talking about health in all categories. 00:05:45.239 --> 00:05:52.949 Healthy body mind relationships, like when I'm saying we step into our higher 00:05:52.949 --> 00:05:56.969 selves, I want to encourage people to. 00:05:57.374 --> 00:06:06.104 Be the best version of themselves and but also show up with 00:06:06.104 --> 00:06:07.964 honesty and vulnerability. 00:06:08.298 --> 00:06:13.758 Being able to show up and say, yesterday my, my a hundred 00:06:13.758 --> 00:06:17.358 percent was I went to the gym. 00:06:17.508 --> 00:06:20.208 I, you know, got my 10,000 steps. 00:06:20.268 --> 00:06:21.708 I hit my macros. 00:06:21.708 --> 00:06:25.188 Today's a hundred percent for me. 00:06:26.538 --> 00:06:32.808 It looked different because what was required of my time and family 00:06:32.808 --> 00:06:36.378 and other needs took over more. 00:06:36.888 --> 00:06:38.568 Maybe I wasn't able to track everything. 00:06:38.568 --> 00:06:39.918 I had to just kind of eyeball. 00:06:40.358 --> 00:06:42.848 I got 6,000 steps, no biggie. 00:06:42.848 --> 00:06:43.718 We can be flexible. 00:06:44.558 --> 00:06:44.858 Why? 00:06:44.918 --> 00:06:49.538 Because flexibility is a huge part of emotional and mental health. 00:06:51.233 --> 00:06:52.043 You're too rigid. 00:06:52.043 --> 00:06:55.163 You break, we've got to learn flexibility. 00:06:56.213 --> 00:07:00.863 'cause that will give you overall healthy mindset, right? 00:07:00.868 --> 00:07:03.083 So, so that's what I'm talking about. 00:07:03.813 --> 00:07:09.453 Let me, let me share this quote from the Mountain is You, she said Your new 00:07:09.453 --> 00:07:13.773 life is going to cost you your old one. 00:07:14.673 --> 00:07:15.813 I'm just gonna pause there. 00:07:15.813 --> 00:07:16.713 The quote goes on. 00:07:18.003 --> 00:07:19.173 I love that. 00:07:19.833 --> 00:07:29.103 I love that because I don't, I think many times what we try to do is we try to build 00:07:29.403 --> 00:07:36.363 a new life and a new, higher version of ourselves, but we are trying to carry 00:07:36.363 --> 00:07:44.043 all of the old habits and who we are into this new life, but we cannot do that. 00:07:44.043 --> 00:07:45.753 There is a cost. 00:07:46.413 --> 00:07:49.893 To becoming the best version of yourself. 00:07:50.193 --> 00:07:54.963 And that cost is our old self. 00:07:55.893 --> 00:08:03.513 We cannot bring those old habits, those old negative mindsets into this. 00:08:03.513 --> 00:08:03.783 Now. 00:08:04.053 --> 00:08:11.433 Now keep in mind I look at this as, as it's not just one big payment 00:08:11.763 --> 00:08:13.803 of, oh, the old self is gone. 00:08:14.088 --> 00:08:15.378 The new self is here. 00:08:15.558 --> 00:08:23.388 No, this is something we slowly shed our old self one scale at a time. 00:08:24.798 --> 00:08:25.968 That's how it goes. 00:08:28.638 --> 00:08:33.468 She goes on to say, so your new life is going to cost you your old one. 00:08:34.698 --> 00:08:38.568 It's going to cost you your comfort zone. 00:08:39.858 --> 00:08:41.268 Your sense of direction. 00:08:41.268 --> 00:08:44.478 Have you ever felt that before you move into this new plan? 00:08:44.718 --> 00:08:47.388 That's why people are always trying to say, trust the process, 00:08:47.393 --> 00:08:49.818 and you're like, this stupid. 00:08:50.028 --> 00:08:52.248 I actually kind of hate that saying. 00:08:52.818 --> 00:08:57.078 I, I think it's annoying sometimes, but that's why what they're, they're 00:08:57.078 --> 00:09:01.338 talking about when you, when you are shedding your old self, you are 00:09:01.518 --> 00:09:06.018 in a way stepping into the unknown. 00:09:07.278 --> 00:09:07.638 Right. 00:09:07.848 --> 00:09:11.148 So it is gonna cost you your comfort zone in your sense of direction. 00:09:11.898 --> 00:09:15.738 It's gonna cost you relationships and friendships. 00:09:17.598 --> 00:09:21.708 It's gonna cost you being liked and understood. 00:09:22.578 --> 00:09:23.418 It doesn't matter. 00:09:24.678 --> 00:09:30.138 The people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. 00:09:31.698 --> 00:09:35.328 You're going to build a new comfort zone. 00:09:36.513 --> 00:09:39.393 Around the things that actually move you forward. 00:09:39.993 --> 00:09:42.903 Guys, I can testify at that one. 00:09:44.343 --> 00:09:50.973 When you first start, and me included, when I first started trying to 00:09:50.978 --> 00:09:54.123 build new habits, I, I was a mess. 00:09:54.153 --> 00:09:56.583 I, I didn't have a ton of direction. 00:09:57.003 --> 00:10:02.403 Um, I, I tried coaches, but they, they just taught me to. 00:10:03.228 --> 00:10:04.458 To track macros. 00:10:04.458 --> 00:10:09.408 They didn't teach me a new lifestyle of, and that's actually one of the 00:10:09.408 --> 00:10:13.128 reasons why, and, and I think when I first started being a coach, that 00:10:13.128 --> 00:10:15.948 was something that I did wrong. 00:10:16.698 --> 00:10:21.198 I just would give people a macro, um, macro numbers to hit. 00:10:21.888 --> 00:10:25.548 I never took the time to say, we are shedding your old self. 00:10:25.878 --> 00:10:34.398 We are, we are showing you now step by step how to create a new lifestyle. 00:10:34.398 --> 00:10:39.018 We're gonna start with breakfast and we are going to find, you know, 00:10:39.048 --> 00:10:44.688 these breakfasts that you just love, that match your nutritional needs and 00:10:44.688 --> 00:10:51.708 your protein and, and I wish so bad that I could go back and change how I 00:10:51.708 --> 00:10:55.038 coached those first few years because. 00:10:56.523 --> 00:11:00.873 I could have made a much more powerful impact. 00:11:02.798 --> 00:11:11.553 I, I could have really shown step by step, this is how we build a lasting lifestyle. 00:11:12.723 --> 00:11:17.913 And this was something that I, I learned, you know, as I continued to coach and 00:11:17.913 --> 00:11:23.583 I realized what was really important and what really mattered, right? 00:11:24.618 --> 00:11:31.938 But at first you have this, this comfort zone and when you step out of it and 00:11:31.938 --> 00:11:38.298 you're trying to build this new family food culture, 'cause that's what we're 00:11:38.298 --> 00:11:42.558 really trying to do, is establish a new food culture in your home. 00:11:42.828 --> 00:11:45.438 And that is, they're going to be growing pains. 00:11:46.458 --> 00:11:49.728 There's going to be a lot of tension as we're trying to figure 00:11:49.728 --> 00:11:53.688 out what works, what doesn't, what you like, what you don't. 00:11:54.693 --> 00:11:58.053 You're gonna be stepping out of your comfort zone, but the longer 00:11:58.053 --> 00:12:03.363 that you do it, and the more that you get this entrenched lifestyle 00:12:03.363 --> 00:12:06.003 established, that's e it becomes easy. 00:12:06.603 --> 00:12:10.683 And all of a sudden you have this new comfort zone and it's, 00:12:10.743 --> 00:12:16.803 it's unbelievable how what was so hard for you now is so easy now. 00:12:17.163 --> 00:12:18.903 Not th not in three weeks. 00:12:18.903 --> 00:12:22.293 This new comfort zone isn't built in three weeks or three months. 00:12:22.293 --> 00:12:26.883 This is something that continues to become ingrained over time, and we get better and 00:12:26.883 --> 00:12:29.253 better, and it becomes easier and easier. 00:12:29.493 --> 00:12:32.253 So for those of you who are in this journey right now, and 00:12:32.253 --> 00:12:33.333 you're like, oh, that's me. 00:12:34.293 --> 00:12:37.233 I'm feeling the tension, I'm feeling the frustration, I'm 00:12:37.238 --> 00:12:38.763 feeling that this isn't gonna work. 00:12:38.763 --> 00:12:45.423 Like remember, you are building a new comfort zone. 00:12:46.503 --> 00:12:51.693 It is going to stretch you, and then you will be amazed in two years to look back 00:12:51.693 --> 00:12:53.823 and be like, why was that so hard again? 00:12:54.393 --> 00:12:58.683 Sometimes I think coaches forget and they're like, well, just do it. 00:12:58.683 --> 00:13:01.563 I hate that word just because it's so easy. 00:13:01.568 --> 00:13:02.703 Just do this. 00:13:02.703 --> 00:13:04.713 Just think this, just do that. 00:13:04.718 --> 00:13:08.433 It's that that just word holds so much weight. 00:13:08.853 --> 00:13:10.983 It's like it is not just that easy. 00:13:11.853 --> 00:13:12.213 Right? 00:13:12.363 --> 00:13:13.833 So it's a process. 00:13:14.463 --> 00:13:15.753 I love how she said it. 00:13:15.753 --> 00:13:20.223 You are building, well, think about that word, building something. 00:13:20.223 --> 00:13:22.653 When you're building something, does it happen in a day? 00:13:22.983 --> 00:13:23.463 No. 00:13:23.463 --> 00:13:28.593 You actually need a lot of tools to build things, right? 00:13:28.593 --> 00:13:35.523 If you're gonna build a house, you need to gather as many tools as possible. 00:13:36.228 --> 00:13:40.368 And you'll need help from people who have built a home before you. 00:13:40.668 --> 00:13:42.108 This is how you do this. 00:13:42.108 --> 00:13:43.398 This is how you do the framing. 00:13:43.638 --> 00:13:44.778 This is how you do the plumbing. 00:13:45.078 --> 00:13:49.278 Maybe that was a really complicated example because I dunno if I 00:13:49.278 --> 00:13:50.538 would dive into building a home. 00:13:50.958 --> 00:13:55.948 But anything that's new, I had this moment in time that it was a 00:13:55.948 --> 00:14:00.898 moment in time where I was really inspired by my neighbor's garden. 00:14:02.308 --> 00:14:03.148 So what do I do? 00:14:03.148 --> 00:14:04.468 Well, I don't have the tools. 00:14:04.588 --> 00:14:09.388 I don't have the knowledge, I don't have, and I also don't have the time 00:14:10.108 --> 00:14:16.918 under my belt that my neighbor has in studying it out in trial and error. 00:14:17.158 --> 00:14:21.268 She's done a lot of that and I don't have that. 00:14:21.268 --> 00:14:22.378 So what do I need to do? 00:14:22.378 --> 00:14:25.918 Well, I wanna learn from her, so I'm gonna reach out to her. 00:14:26.488 --> 00:14:29.488 I'm gonna find out what are the tools that I need, what are the books that I need? 00:14:29.488 --> 00:14:30.478 What do I need to know? 00:14:30.688 --> 00:14:31.618 What can I plant? 00:14:31.618 --> 00:14:32.818 What am I not gonna kill? 00:14:33.268 --> 00:14:34.258 Probably everything. 00:14:34.258 --> 00:14:41.068 Yes, like there's so much, but I, I need somebody to hold my hand in some things. 00:14:42.148 --> 00:14:44.008 'cause I just, I've never done it before. 00:14:44.728 --> 00:14:49.828 So as you're building something new, keep that in mind. 00:14:49.828 --> 00:14:51.988 Be patient with yourself. 00:14:52.528 --> 00:14:54.028 You've never really. 00:14:55.138 --> 00:14:58.708 Built it and, and you could say, well, no, I did one time. 00:14:58.708 --> 00:15:00.568 I lost weight and then I regained it. 00:15:01.078 --> 00:15:05.848 So you didn't build a new lifestyle. 00:15:06.298 --> 00:15:11.788 You didn't, you had a quick, you got into a diet and then 00:15:11.788 --> 00:15:13.318 you went back to your old self. 00:15:13.318 --> 00:15:18.988 You, you hadn't yet put the time into building this new comfort zone around the 00:15:18.988 --> 00:15:24.058 things as Brianna the, uh, author says. 00:15:24.868 --> 00:15:27.958 That actually move you forward. 00:15:30.058 --> 00:15:32.908 So going back to this quote, I'm gonna kind of take a step back 'cause 00:15:32.908 --> 00:15:36.778 I'm sure you've forgotten that, what I've even shared about the quote. 00:15:37.168 --> 00:15:40.768 But she said, the people who are meant for you are going 00:15:40.768 --> 00:15:41.933 to meet you on the other side. 00:15:43.053 --> 00:15:46.108 You're gonna build a new comfort zone around the things that 00:15:46.113 --> 00:15:47.578 actually move you forward. 00:15:48.328 --> 00:15:51.598 Instead of being liked, you're gonna be loved. 00:15:52.378 --> 00:15:55.078 Instead of being understood, you're gonna be seen. 00:15:56.758 --> 00:16:05.128 All you're going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are. 00:16:06.598 --> 00:16:07.468 I just love that. 00:16:07.798 --> 00:16:08.968 I thought that was so good. 00:16:09.538 --> 00:16:15.208 So let me share a personal experience when, when she says it will cost 00:16:15.208 --> 00:16:18.298 you relationships and friendships. 00:16:20.653 --> 00:16:26.023 So when I first started getting into fitness, one thing that I noticed was 00:16:26.023 --> 00:16:35.143 how me choosing to change certain things about my lifestyle and habits, which then 00:16:35.173 --> 00:16:43.633 had a direct impact on what I looked like that seemed to threaten other people. 00:16:43.633 --> 00:16:45.313 Some people were inspired. 00:16:46.963 --> 00:16:48.193 It was interesting. 00:16:48.193 --> 00:16:51.853 People who didn't really know me seemed more inspired, people who 00:16:51.853 --> 00:16:55.873 knew me and had spent a lot of time with me, kind of, I, they tended 00:16:55.878 --> 00:16:57.103 to be a little bit more threatened. 00:16:58.093 --> 00:16:59.653 Kind of interesting how that worked. 00:17:00.823 --> 00:17:04.933 So me choosing to change my life and find this new fun goal and 00:17:04.933 --> 00:17:07.543 success was really exciting for me. 00:17:08.623 --> 00:17:12.163 I quickly learned that it was not exciting for everyone. 00:17:13.483 --> 00:17:20.323 Some people seem to take it very personally, almost like they felt like 00:17:20.323 --> 00:17:28.513 because I decided to change and I was like them, but I decided I wanted to change 00:17:28.513 --> 00:17:30.253 and have a different outcome in my life. 00:17:30.438 --> 00:17:36.403 They felt like it was a direct attack against them and their 00:17:36.403 --> 00:17:37.813 life choices and how they lived. 00:17:38.833 --> 00:17:41.593 The truth of the matter is I wasn't judging them at all. 00:17:42.553 --> 00:17:45.433 To be honest, I was, I was a little bit more caught up in the 00:17:45.433 --> 00:17:49.273 excitement of the changes that I was seeing in my own life to really 00:17:49.273 --> 00:17:51.193 look around and judge anybody else. 00:17:52.003 --> 00:17:56.593 And if I did look around, I was excited because I, I wanted other people to 00:17:56.598 --> 00:18:02.773 rise up with me and feel good the way I felt and feel more energy and 00:18:03.403 --> 00:18:08.593 lose that, you know, postpartum 30 pounds that I had put on with Hazel. 00:18:09.283 --> 00:18:10.843 I just wanted other people to. 00:18:11.698 --> 00:18:12.628 Feel good. 00:18:14.908 --> 00:18:19.738 So I actually did lose one close relationship. 00:18:21.688 --> 00:18:27.298 Um, I couldn't hang out with her without her making some jabbing remarks. 00:18:27.598 --> 00:18:31.798 And the remarks were over and over and over. 00:18:31.798 --> 00:18:33.868 Like at first it was kinda like, haha, funny. 00:18:34.438 --> 00:18:38.038 And then after a while I'm like, Alex, are you kind of noticing this? 00:18:38.038 --> 00:18:40.018 He's like, yeah, it's uncomfortable. 00:18:40.018 --> 00:18:40.288 Like. 00:18:40.663 --> 00:18:42.193 Why does she have to say anything? 00:18:42.373 --> 00:18:43.348 I'm like, okay. 00:18:43.828 --> 00:18:45.223 Like it's not just me. 00:18:45.493 --> 00:18:47.383 I'm not overly sensitive. 00:18:47.383 --> 00:18:49.783 Like, he's like, no, it's pretty obvious. 00:18:49.783 --> 00:18:50.863 I'm like, okay. 00:18:51.038 --> 00:18:52.903 Thank, thank you. 00:18:53.303 --> 00:18:58.583 I remember one time it, it, it had finally gotten to the point where they 00:18:58.583 --> 00:19:01.103 weren't just like sly little jabs. 00:19:01.103 --> 00:19:02.513 It was very direct. 00:19:03.413 --> 00:19:06.383 It was very much. 00:19:07.298 --> 00:19:14.288 I, I actually made it a point to avoid all conversation of body, 00:19:14.378 --> 00:19:16.478 of working out of nutrition. 00:19:16.478 --> 00:19:20.918 Like I wouldn't, I wouldn't even like talk about like, are we gonna go to lunch? 00:19:20.923 --> 00:19:24.218 Like, I didn't even wanna talk about food at all. 00:19:24.218 --> 00:19:26.768 I would try my hardest to avoid it. 00:19:26.828 --> 00:19:32.738 Unfortunately, this individual, um, always wanted to talk about it, 00:19:32.768 --> 00:19:36.563 but if I ever said anything, then she would get annoyed and upset. 00:19:36.973 --> 00:19:42.313 It was very uncomfortable for me, so I would do my best to avoid any, 00:19:42.463 --> 00:19:44.143 any, any conversation about that. 00:19:44.743 --> 00:19:48.463 And there's definitely more to me than health and fitness. 00:19:48.463 --> 00:19:51.853 So there were other things that we could talk about, but there were, 00:19:51.883 --> 00:19:57.913 there was one day that it was just, it kind of got to the point where 00:19:58.903 --> 00:20:00.793 I just, I couldn't take it anymore. 00:20:02.428 --> 00:20:09.868 And, um, she had made a remark saying, well, I'm focusing on my family and 00:20:09.873 --> 00:20:14.368 what's really important in life, not like you, and just focusing on muscle. 00:20:14.998 --> 00:20:21.088 And it was just the weirdest comment and so outright jabbing. 00:20:21.088 --> 00:20:26.218 Anyways, I don't, clearly, I'm still a little sad by 00:20:26.218 --> 00:20:28.078 those remarks and it, it just. 00:20:28.813 --> 00:20:33.223 Just came to a head where I was just like, I can't, I can't do this anymore. 00:20:33.223 --> 00:20:34.453 I don't want to. 00:20:34.753 --> 00:20:36.163 This isn't fun anymore. 00:20:36.163 --> 00:20:37.663 You're not fun anymore. 00:20:38.833 --> 00:20:41.203 And I knew it wasn't about me. 00:20:42.943 --> 00:20:49.663 I knew that this person had deep heartache and insecurities and I 00:20:49.933 --> 00:20:53.773 just was a trigger for all of that. 00:20:55.243 --> 00:20:56.533 Somebody who. 00:20:56.878 --> 00:21:04.318 Decided to finally do it and change and, and really put my head down and, 00:21:04.498 --> 00:21:15.478 and hit my goals, and, and I, I know it wasn't about me so much as I was 00:21:15.478 --> 00:21:26.308 a reminder of what she really wanted and was frustrated and very resentful. 00:21:26.908 --> 00:21:36.358 That the choices hadn't been made to get there, but as much as that was 00:21:36.358 --> 00:21:41.698 a, a, a heartache to kind of just have to take time away from that 00:21:41.703 --> 00:21:50.368 relationship, um, because I loved it so much, I, I knew I had to step away. 00:21:50.703 --> 00:21:54.663 You know, I'm so glad I changed my life and my habits and my 00:21:54.668 --> 00:21:56.763 routines over the past eight years. 00:21:57.603 --> 00:22:03.157 I have grown to really respect myself and actually be proud of myself. 00:22:04.657 --> 00:22:10.417 I was showing up in my life in ways of discipline that I hadn't 00:22:10.417 --> 00:22:16.447 ever, and, and as I showed up for myself, not every day was perfect. 00:22:17.167 --> 00:22:21.367 Not every day is gonna be, but, but I was noticing this pattern of, I 00:22:21.367 --> 00:22:29.257 was showing up more consistently for myself, disciplined over time, 00:22:29.257 --> 00:22:30.367 more and more and more and more. 00:22:30.372 --> 00:22:34.777 And it got easier and more fun as time went on. 00:22:36.127 --> 00:22:42.337 And it did it, it made me respect myself and pretty soon, I've talked 00:22:42.337 --> 00:22:44.227 about this before, my self love. 00:22:45.352 --> 00:22:48.172 Blossomed and it was an intrinsic thing. 00:22:48.172 --> 00:22:57.142 It came from within and the deeper and more internally rooted that became, 00:22:58.492 --> 00:23:04.702 the more I realized and now know, I'm actually the only one who can disrupt 00:23:04.702 --> 00:23:11.032 my peace because it comes from within. 00:23:12.067 --> 00:23:14.797 Now I can choose to hand that over to other people. 00:23:15.367 --> 00:23:16.207 I'm not perfect. 00:23:16.207 --> 00:23:18.337 I'm human, very human. 00:23:18.967 --> 00:23:23.647 Just this week I decided to hand that piece over to somebody who 00:23:23.647 --> 00:23:26.197 didn't deserve to have that control. 00:23:28.837 --> 00:23:32.887 But it's good to know and to remind myself, no. 00:23:33.547 --> 00:23:38.077 I chose to let them disrupt my peace. 00:23:40.222 --> 00:23:47.542 So here's my advice about people who you think don't understand your 00:23:47.542 --> 00:23:49.132 goals and you're frustrated by it. 00:23:50.452 --> 00:23:55.342 One, we usually are frustrated by it because we feel like for one reason 00:23:55.342 --> 00:24:05.722 or another we feel like we deserve to have this individuals respect. 00:24:06.562 --> 00:24:07.042 Um. 00:24:07.567 --> 00:24:10.807 Understanding, encouragement. 00:24:12.487 --> 00:24:18.307 We feel like because of the relationship we have, it's what we want. 00:24:18.547 --> 00:24:19.957 We want that from them, 00:24:24.967 --> 00:24:27.067 but we're not always going to get it. 00:24:28.747 --> 00:24:34.867 And I know I've spoken on this before, but I do believe that many times we just 00:24:34.872 --> 00:24:36.847 have to release ourselves of the desire. 00:24:39.682 --> 00:24:44.392 Because we can't control other people, and the more we try to control them, the 00:24:44.392 --> 00:24:52.672 more that they're going to strong arm us and not want to actually understand 00:24:52.732 --> 00:24:55.192 or respect or encourage or whatever. 00:24:57.292 --> 00:25:03.892 Where I think we go wrong is we, we one, expect and think that 00:25:03.892 --> 00:25:05.572 everybody should understand us. 00:25:07.282 --> 00:25:13.012 When the truth is they're dealing with their own stuff in their life 00:25:14.452 --> 00:25:20.722 and maybe we're not seeing them as real people, but as an it a means for 00:25:20.722 --> 00:25:24.862 us to feel validated when validation should come from within ourselves. 00:25:25.102 --> 00:25:30.592 If we truly believe that, that the path that we're choosing is 00:25:30.592 --> 00:25:34.372 right, then you don't need the validation from other people. 00:25:35.377 --> 00:25:40.297 To constantly seek that out and need it is going to give you none other 00:25:40.297 --> 00:25:44.557 than heartache, and you're not going to experience true joy in your life. 00:25:46.057 --> 00:25:48.847 We cannot place that on other people. 00:25:50.887 --> 00:25:53.197 They're dealing with their own stuff. 00:25:54.157 --> 00:25:59.587 They're dealing with their own insecurities, their own pasts. 00:25:59.992 --> 00:26:09.592 Their own heartaches and scars and hurts, and we may think that we know what they're 00:26:09.597 --> 00:26:13.442 thinking, but we actually probably don't. 00:26:14.372 --> 00:26:18.187 I mean, that's just something that I've kind of over time 00:26:18.662 --> 00:26:20.312 and experienced realized. 00:26:21.602 --> 00:26:24.092 I, I've never been that person. 00:26:25.232 --> 00:26:26.492 I don't have their mind. 00:26:26.492 --> 00:26:27.782 I don't have their history. 00:26:28.022 --> 00:26:29.282 I don't have their heartaches. 00:26:29.282 --> 00:26:30.842 I don't have their experiences. 00:26:31.622 --> 00:26:35.702 They're probably just trying to survive the day, and I'm over here upset 00:26:36.602 --> 00:26:41.972 because maybe I've triggered them and then they triggered me, and I think 00:26:41.972 --> 00:26:43.742 it's all about me and what I deserve. 00:26:43.742 --> 00:26:47.672 Instead of kind of turning around and looking at them as a person and being 00:26:47.672 --> 00:26:51.452 like, you know, it's actually okay. 00:26:51.842 --> 00:26:53.582 I'm not gonna place this on you. 00:26:53.612 --> 00:26:55.142 You don't need to be my cheerleader. 00:26:55.172 --> 00:26:59.222 I'm gonna be my own cheerleader, and I'm gonna have the same grace for you 00:26:59.222 --> 00:27:01.322 as I would want someone to have for me. 00:27:02.362 --> 00:27:09.952 That's, that's kind of where I've landed as I've gone through relationships. 00:27:10.972 --> 00:27:21.272 Lost some, not been, encouraged, cheered on, validated by others. 00:27:21.272 --> 00:27:29.522 That actually really hurt, and I had to change me and I had to change my outlook 00:27:29.522 --> 00:27:31.772 because I can't change anybody else. 00:27:34.862 --> 00:27:40.322 I, I'm, I am gonna say one other thing, and this is going to be, this is, so, this 00:27:40.322 --> 00:27:44.162 is gonna be hard to hear and, and maybe. 00:27:44.762 --> 00:27:47.252 You'll say, but I can't have that conversation with my 00:27:47.252 --> 00:27:49.172 mother-in-Law, Lindsay or whomever. 00:27:50.222 --> 00:27:55.382 So one thing that I've had clients say to me a lot is that can be very 00:27:55.382 --> 00:27:59.222 hurtful is either their mom or their mother-in-Law or somebody at family dinner 00:27:59.612 --> 00:28:01.172 always has to make a comment, right? 00:28:02.222 --> 00:28:12.917 And I would always encourage them to lay down the boundary and we want to assume 00:28:12.917 --> 00:28:19.307 that everybody's going to treat us the way that we would treat them, but once again, 00:28:19.307 --> 00:28:23.957 that's kind of forgetting that everybody has their own triggers and their own 00:28:23.957 --> 00:28:26.327 hurts and heartaches, and scars in life. 00:28:27.737 --> 00:28:34.247 And maybe you being mindful about what you're eating. 00:28:34.937 --> 00:28:37.517 Losing weight, maybe that's triggering someone else and 00:28:37.517 --> 00:28:40.067 they're dealing as best they can. 00:28:40.277 --> 00:28:43.967 And maybe they're kind of, I don't wanna say failing, but struggling because 00:28:44.927 --> 00:28:47.807 they say things that make you feel hurt. 00:28:50.057 --> 00:28:57.707 And I actually did in the, in the, the relationship that I shared 00:28:57.707 --> 00:29:03.617 about previously, I did finally lay down a boundary with that person. 00:29:05.597 --> 00:29:11.027 And so I just wanna encourage you, if you have somebody in your life 00:29:11.567 --> 00:29:15.557 who is constantly making those, those comments, I would just encourage you 00:29:15.557 --> 00:29:19.307 to pull them aside and be like, let's just say it's your mother-in-Law. 00:29:19.307 --> 00:29:20.537 We're just gonna use that example. 00:29:20.537 --> 00:29:22.847 Just gonna encourage you to pull 'em aside and be like, you know, 00:29:24.497 --> 00:29:27.407 you are such a loving woman. 00:29:28.307 --> 00:29:30.887 Even if you don't feel it, um, you. 00:29:31.442 --> 00:29:33.992 I know that you love me and my family. 00:29:34.772 --> 00:29:41.462 I know that you wouldn't intentionally try to hurt me sometimes when you say X, Y, 00:29:41.462 --> 00:29:47.612 and Z, it does hurt my feelings though, and I realize you probably just don't 00:29:47.612 --> 00:29:53.042 know it because if you knew it, I just don't think you would ever say anything 00:29:53.402 --> 00:29:55.172 to intentionally hurt my feelings. 00:29:55.512 --> 00:30:00.727 But can I just ask you to be a little bit more aware that those, those things 00:30:00.727 --> 00:30:06.187 do sting me and I, and I just love you and, and I, I just think it's important 00:30:06.187 --> 00:30:11.917 that, you know, you know, too often we don't have the hard conversations 00:30:12.967 --> 00:30:22.012 and we, we think we are being kind by not having the hard conversations, but 00:30:22.012 --> 00:30:25.912 we're actually not, because we drive away from their house and we complain 00:30:25.912 --> 00:30:27.922 about them and we build resentment. 00:30:28.102 --> 00:30:31.132 We're not being kind at all. 00:30:31.612 --> 00:30:36.082 That's not kind to build that resentment and that hate and 00:30:36.082 --> 00:30:39.832 let it fester and say all these negative things about the person. 00:30:41.272 --> 00:30:43.882 And this is, this is, this is hard guys. 00:30:43.882 --> 00:30:49.237 This is like, this is big kid stuff, relationship stuff, you know, having 00:30:49.237 --> 00:30:52.807 the courage to, to lay down a boundary. 00:30:54.087 --> 00:30:58.767 Loving yourself enough to be like, I'm gonna release myself of this 00:30:58.767 --> 00:31:03.202 resentment, but in order to do it, I need to lay down this boundary and 00:31:03.867 --> 00:31:09.447 let them know, and then let it go. 00:31:10.597 --> 00:31:11.707 That's, that's hard. 00:31:12.517 --> 00:31:17.167 I do wanna strongly encourage, and I want to encourage you to think 00:31:17.167 --> 00:31:19.687 about this and not just jump to the conclusion that you can't. 00:31:21.367 --> 00:31:22.867 Hard conversations. 00:31:23.707 --> 00:31:26.257 Well, they're hard, right? 00:31:26.467 --> 00:31:27.187 They are. 00:31:28.767 --> 00:31:37.287 But whenever I go into a hard conversation with real love in my heart. 00:31:38.527 --> 00:31:43.387 Not looking at them as an it, as a means to just give me what I want, but looking 00:31:43.387 --> 00:31:51.067 at them as a real individual who must be hurting because that's why people 00:31:51.067 --> 00:31:52.567 treat people bad is when they're hurting. 00:31:54.367 --> 00:31:56.467 I always have great conversations. 00:31:56.587 --> 00:31:57.817 Well, I shouldn't say always. 00:31:58.447 --> 00:32:02.047 Most of the time I have great conversations. 00:32:03.097 --> 00:32:04.297 I can't control when I don't. 00:32:05.617 --> 00:32:07.867 I can't control the way the other person takes it. 00:32:08.167 --> 00:32:14.287 I can only control my heart and express myself with kindness, but 00:32:14.292 --> 00:32:18.217 also with love and, and self-respect to put down that boundary. 00:32:18.457 --> 00:32:20.107 So I just wanna encourage you to do that. 00:32:20.647 --> 00:32:27.127 If you cannot do that, you have to still work on releasing yourself of the build 00:32:27.127 --> 00:32:31.987 to up resentment and just accept the fact that, you know what, this person 00:32:31.987 --> 00:32:33.247 is just gonna make these comments. 00:32:33.877 --> 00:32:37.717 This person is just not going to understand, and that's okay. 00:32:38.587 --> 00:32:45.247 I don't need them to understand, for me to keep pursuing my goals and hitting 00:32:45.247 --> 00:32:48.247 them because this is not about them. 00:32:48.637 --> 00:32:53.377 It's about you becoming the best version of yourself. 00:32:54.487 --> 00:32:59.227 Hopefully this, this, um, episode was helpful. 00:32:59.947 --> 00:33:04.582 I really do love this book and I just wanna encourage you guys to read it. 00:33:04.582 --> 00:33:09.712 The Mountain is You transforming self-sabotage into self-mastery. 00:33:09.712 --> 00:33:14.182 I love, as I'm working towards self-development, stepping into 00:33:14.182 --> 00:33:19.162 my higher self to constantly be listening to podcasts and books 00:33:19.167 --> 00:33:20.962 and people who are uplifting. 00:33:21.562 --> 00:33:23.662 And so this is just one of those that I really wanna 00:33:23.662 --> 00:33:25.702 encourage you to, to check out. 00:33:26.212 --> 00:33:29.062 Thank you so much for joining me today, guys on this episode. 00:33:29.242 --> 00:33:35.612 If you have any questions at all, shoot me a DM on Instagram at Lifting Lindsey. 00:33:35.612 --> 00:33:43.622 You can always go to be strong dot lifting lindsay.com and sign up for our training 00:33:43.622 --> 00:33:48.872 program, be part of our membership where we do the Walking Book Club. 00:33:49.217 --> 00:33:54.737 We have, uh, weekly, monthly challenges where you can win some fun stuff. 00:33:55.007 --> 00:34:01.127 Today, one of the app users won, uh, Reebok Nanos brand new lifting shoes. 00:34:01.127 --> 00:34:04.367 My favorite ones, actually, I just wanted to share those with people. 00:34:04.527 --> 00:34:08.872 The giveaways are usually some of my favorite things that I just absolutely 00:34:08.872 --> 00:34:15.952 love, whether it's cooking supplies, or leggings or shoes or equipment in the gym, 00:34:15.952 --> 00:34:19.132 I just absolutely love giving those away. 00:34:19.612 --> 00:34:23.332 So if you want to join us, you can go to be Strong dot lifting lindsey.com. 00:34:23.392 --> 00:34:29.437 We actually have a new program, a Glutes and Dealt emphasis program 00:34:29.437 --> 00:34:33.877 that is starting April 8th, and we'd love for you guys to join us. 00:34:33.877 --> 00:34:35.347 You have a wonderful week.