1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,410 AK!: What is this loving gaze you're giving? 2 00:00:05,420 --> 00:00:06,570 Matt: It's just a loving gaze. 3 00:00:06,939 --> 00:00:09,770 Can't I just give you a loving gaze? 4 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,150 AK!: No, there has to be an agenda attached. 5 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,220 Like, half loving, half, like, perplexed. 6 00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:18,309 Like, kind of like a parent. 7 00:00:18,429 --> 00:00:22,189 Like, I love that kid, but my God, how are they like that? 8 00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:23,289 Matt: Why are they doing? 9 00:00:23,459 --> 00:00:24,519 Why are you like that? 10 00:00:24,759 --> 00:00:26,339 AK!: Why are you licking the bathtub? 11 00:00:26,549 --> 00:00:27,199 Why? 12 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:31,330 I've told you to stop, but you're still licking it. 13 00:00:32,230 --> 00:00:33,370 Matt: Still licking that bathtub. 14 00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:33,390 in 15 00:00:33,819 --> 00:00:36,610 AK!: licking that bathtub. 16 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:38,779 Matt: Uh, hi, Alison. 17 00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:40,739 AK!: Oh man, I was about to hi Matt ya. 18 00:00:40,815 --> 00:00:42,024 Matt: Oh, go for it. 19 00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:42,504 Go for it. 20 00:00:42,504 --> 00:00:43,644 We'll, we'll flip the switch. 21 00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:44,559 AK!: Hi Matt. 22 00:00:44,598 --> 00:00:45,658 Matt: Hi, Alison. 23 00:00:45,728 --> 00:00:46,498 How are you? 24 00:00:46,573 --> 00:00:47,413 AK!: good. 25 00:00:48,533 --> 00:00:51,003 Back in the recording studio 26 00:00:51,033 --> 00:00:51,363 for some 27 00:00:51,378 --> 00:00:52,588 Matt: in the studio. 28 00:00:52,638 --> 00:00:54,518 Hey, baby, baby, baby. 29 00:00:54,833 --> 00:00:58,553 AK!: is a podcast and video cast 30 00:00:58,553 --> 00:01:03,843 that tries to find the intersection between ADHD... 31 00:01:03,843 --> 00:01:06,223 Matt: And TTRPGs 32 00:01:06,248 --> 00:01:06,998 That's what it does. 33 00:01:07,198 --> 00:01:07,948 That's what we do. 34 00:01:08,023 --> 00:01:08,863 AK!: that it does. 35 00:01:09,643 --> 00:01:14,253 And today we're borrowing, we're borrowing from some real life 36 00:01:14,253 --> 00:01:15,933 experiences that we have shared 37 00:01:16,138 --> 00:01:16,678 Matt: We are. 38 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:17,698 AK!: of late. 39 00:01:17,948 --> 00:01:24,048 Matt: Yeah, it is, it is Con season for us, pretty much. 40 00:01:24,178 --> 00:01:24,998 It's definitely for me. 41 00:01:25,058 --> 00:01:29,508 I am, we basically just got back from GaryCon. 42 00:01:29,688 --> 00:01:30,418 No, we didn't. 43 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:31,308 AK!: Sure didn't. 44 00:01:31,638 --> 00:01:34,098 Matt: We basically just got back from GenCon. 45 00:01:34,693 --> 00:01:35,173 AK!: We did 46 00:01:35,388 --> 00:01:36,118 Matt: And 47 00:01:38,188 --> 00:01:41,988 in about a month or two, I'm going to GameholeCon. 48 00:01:41,988 --> 00:01:44,108 Gamholecon. 49 00:01:45,088 --> 00:01:47,678 The worst name, one of the best conventions. 50 00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:53,243 So, We had a lovely time at GenCon. 51 00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:55,123 You know, I say it's a lovely time. 52 00:01:55,143 --> 00:01:56,023 It is a lovely time. 53 00:01:56,023 --> 00:01:57,703 We were together. 54 00:01:57,703 --> 00:01:58,863 We learned a lot. 55 00:01:58,923 --> 00:02:01,643 There's a whole bunch of wonderful things that happened. 56 00:02:01,703 --> 00:02:03,443 It is an endeavor, though. 57 00:02:03,613 --> 00:02:06,673 It is, it's not for the faint of heart. 58 00:02:06,746 --> 00:02:10,856 It's especially, especially Gen Con with eighty thousand people. 59 00:02:10,856 --> 00:02:12,610 It's, we all came home sick. 60 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:17,200 You just kind of gear up, you do the thing, you're exhausted. 61 00:02:17,210 --> 00:02:18,410 You expect to be exhausted. 62 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:19,510 You expect it. 63 00:02:20,130 --> 00:02:20,820 And that's okay. 64 00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:28,070 But, um, yeah, so we, we played a lot of games and, and some new games. 65 00:02:28,070 --> 00:02:32,150 And that's kind of, kind of what we thought we would talk about today. 66 00:02:32,625 --> 00:02:40,635 You and I, discovered that we have a very specific way that we like to learn things. 67 00:02:41,535 --> 00:02:45,485 I'm not saying it's exactly the same, that you and I learn things the same way, but 68 00:02:46,455 --> 00:02:53,045 I think The ADHD brain itself has some 69 00:02:53,729 --> 00:02:55,469 rules and regulations that must, 70 00:02:56,574 --> 00:02:56,584 AK!: hmm. 71 00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,479 Matt: that must, uh, be met, 72 00:02:59,894 --> 00:03:01,184 AK!: Rules and regulations. 73 00:03:01,564 --> 00:03:02,244 Sexy. 74 00:03:02,619 --> 00:03:07,129 Matt: Rules and regulations, ones that we can't control, perhaps, uh, 75 00:03:07,289 --> 00:03:12,259 and I've, I've already talked to the coach about this to find out whether 76 00:03:12,299 --> 00:03:17,899 it was just a hunch or whether it was a real thing and yes, indeed, uh, most 77 00:03:17,939 --> 00:03:21,649 people with ADHD need to find the why. 78 00:03:22,094 --> 00:03:24,874 And all things and this is going to apply to so many things. 79 00:03:25,394 --> 00:03:25,914 What you got? 80 00:03:26,524 --> 00:03:26,844 Yeah, 81 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,319 AK!: Well, but first we have to do something else. 82 00:03:29,574 --> 00:03:30,254 Matt: We certainly do. 83 00:03:30,424 --> 00:03:34,814 We have to find the why in something and why we're doing this podcast. 84 00:03:35,099 --> 00:03:37,829 AK!: which is to answer questions on the ADHd100 Table 85 00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:38,964 Matt: That's very true. 86 00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:39,739 AK!: Um, I 87 00:03:39,739 --> 00:03:40,739 think I get to roll this 88 00:03:40,844 --> 00:03:41,584 Matt: think you do. 89 00:03:41,614 --> 00:03:42,094 Yes. 90 00:03:44,285 --> 00:03:45,965 AK!: How about 31, Maddie? 91 00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:51,355 Matt: We have not, we have not answered 31. 92 00:03:51,525 --> 00:03:52,335 AK!: Amazing. 93 00:03:54,135 --> 00:03:54,725 Matt: Ooh, and I like it. 94 00:03:56,295 --> 00:04:00,185 Money and experience suddenly do not matter. 95 00:04:01,685 --> 00:04:03,205 What is your profession now? 96 00:04:04,455 --> 00:04:07,715 AK!: This is going to be the most boring answer on the face of the planet. 97 00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:08,565 Matt: Yeah? 98 00:04:09,445 --> 00:04:10,005 AK!: It's this. 99 00:04:10,005 --> 00:04:10,215 Matt: Yeah. 100 00:04:12,195 --> 00:04:12,565 Yeah. 101 00:04:13,005 --> 00:04:15,945 AK!: I'm doing the thing that I want to be doing. 102 00:04:16,385 --> 00:04:17,105 I found it. 103 00:04:17,285 --> 00:04:20,525 I searched high and low for a long, long time. 104 00:04:21,015 --> 00:04:25,515 Um, and, and, and by this, I, I, I honestly kind of mean, like, it would 105 00:04:25,525 --> 00:04:30,445 be meaningful to, you know, at the end of my life, look back and say, I, you 106 00:04:30,445 --> 00:04:37,760 know, helped fuel a thriving creative business with our design studio known 107 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:41,550 as Bivins Brothers Creative, and then also all things Pocket Dimension, like 108 00:04:41,550 --> 00:04:47,700 I want to make podcasts and live streams and content and play games and build 109 00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:53,930 communities for, that's what I want to do if, you know, so I'm, I'm doing the 110 00:04:53,930 --> 00:04:57,100 thing in the hopes that the money and the 111 00:04:57,350 --> 00:04:58,205 Matt: will follow. 112 00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,440 AK!: will follow. 113 00:04:59,855 --> 00:05:01,105 Stay tuned. 114 00:05:01,945 --> 00:05:05,625 Friends, that is the hope, um, that I am having. 115 00:05:05,845 --> 00:05:06,295 Matt: Yeah, 116 00:05:06,995 --> 00:05:08,825 AK!: Um, but I found it. 117 00:05:09,045 --> 00:05:09,175 What 118 00:05:09,205 --> 00:05:12,725 Matt: yeah, I, I've, I feel the exact same way. 119 00:05:12,945 --> 00:05:20,385 And there are certainly days where I'm a little more or less chemically 120 00:05:20,385 --> 00:05:27,440 balanced or I have had more or less sleep than I needed, and I have 121 00:05:27,470 --> 00:05:30,330 different highs and lows about this, 122 00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:38,500 but this is, this is one of the first times that even when there is more 123 00:05:38,570 --> 00:05:45,140 imbalance and there is less sleep, for example, And I, I just, I can tell as I'm 124 00:05:45,140 --> 00:05:49,655 going through the day that I'm going to sleep, I'm going to be a little bit more 125 00:05:49,665 --> 00:05:55,485 violent towards myself, I'm going to be a little bit more down about everything, 126 00:05:55,485 --> 00:06:03,285 I'm going to, I'm going to wonder harder what the why is for all things. 127 00:06:03,545 --> 00:06:05,315 It's, this is different. 128 00:06:06,045 --> 00:06:11,715 Cause I know that tomorrow I will regain that spark. 129 00:06:12,095 --> 00:06:13,885 This feels correct. 130 00:06:13,905 --> 00:06:15,525 Yeah, as you said, This feels right. 131 00:06:16,165 --> 00:06:21,035 AK!: And I will say, one thing I'll, so yes, yes, and to 132 00:06:21,035 --> 00:06:22,325 everything that you just said. 133 00:06:22,755 --> 00:06:27,145 Also, I will always be here for you on those days that you 134 00:06:27,145 --> 00:06:28,405 choose Matt on Matt violence. 135 00:06:28,765 --> 00:06:29,405 Matt: There's that! 136 00:06:29,405 --> 00:06:29,675 Right! 137 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,790 AK!: I, I will, I will smack you right away from that direction 138 00:06:32,790 --> 00:06:34,770 as, as evidenced by last week. 139 00:06:35,170 --> 00:06:36,910 Uh, when I did exact, I was like, I need you 140 00:06:36,910 --> 00:06:38,350 to stop being mean to my friend, Matt, 141 00:06:38,375 --> 00:06:38,675 Matt: Oh 142 00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:39,550 AK!: about him a lot. 143 00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:45,350 Um, so get you friends that do that to you that, you know, call you out when 144 00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:50,825 you're being mean to yourself as so many of us do, um, you are not alone in that. 145 00:06:51,105 --> 00:06:54,465 But, uh, a well documented life. 146 00:06:54,475 --> 00:06:57,925 I was, uh, cleaning out my house this weekend and going through some 147 00:06:57,925 --> 00:07:03,235 things and I found some old journals and I found a journal from when I 148 00:07:03,235 --> 00:07:08,735 was at one of my lowest professional points and supremely unhappy. 149 00:07:09,775 --> 00:07:12,325 My blood pressure was the highest it had ever been. 150 00:07:12,395 --> 00:07:16,475 Like, every part of my body was shutting down because of 151 00:07:16,795 --> 00:07:19,005 how much I loathed this job 152 00:07:19,145 --> 00:07:19,505 Matt: Yeah. 153 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,365 AK!: and to, like, read my rantings. 154 00:07:22,395 --> 00:07:25,445 And I was trying so hard to have, like, gratitude and, like, hold 155 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,675 space for myself and all of it. 156 00:07:26,675 --> 00:07:30,025 But I was just so, like, depleted and stressed and angry. 157 00:07:30,175 --> 00:07:30,535 Matt: Yeah. 158 00:07:30,945 --> 00:07:34,835 AK!: And so when I think about, like, even my most stressed out days. 159 00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:42,325 with what we're doing now, don't come close to other versions of myself. 160 00:07:42,325 --> 00:07:42,445 And I 161 00:07:42,455 --> 00:07:44,055 have to remind myself of that often 162 00:07:44,485 --> 00:07:50,485 that this life I'm living right now, right here today is what 5 163 00:07:50,485 --> 00:07:53,845 and 8 and 10 year ago me desired, 164 00:07:53,885 --> 00:07:54,325 Matt: Mhm. 165 00:07:54,835 --> 00:07:57,955 AK!: like, would have done anything for and so even when it does get 166 00:07:57,965 --> 00:08:01,795 hard, like, reminding myself that to be like, you fought for this life. 167 00:08:02,420 --> 00:08:04,390 And yeah, you know that you can level it up, right? 168 00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:07,210 But like, you wanted to be here, and here you are, and 169 00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:11,930 now you'll figure out what the next mountain you will scale will be. 170 00:08:12,205 --> 00:08:12,945 Matt: I love that. 171 00:08:12,945 --> 00:08:13,175 Yeah. 172 00:08:13,725 --> 00:08:15,205 Yes, climb that mountain. 173 00:08:16,475 --> 00:08:17,750 AK!: Ford every stream. 174 00:08:22,430 --> 00:08:23,060 Oh no. 175 00:08:23,095 --> 00:08:23,905 Matt: Oh no. 176 00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:28,740 AK!: There we are, three weeks later, still battling the con crud, you guys. 177 00:08:28,770 --> 00:08:32,710 So if we burst into coughing fits, we're sorry. 178 00:08:32,765 --> 00:08:33,315 Matt: Yeah, it 179 00:08:33,370 --> 00:08:37,010 AK!: Well, that was, I think, an excellent segue. 180 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,410 It's almost, It's almost, like the dice tell the story. 181 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:40,475 Matt: It really is. 182 00:08:40,485 --> 00:08:42,455 It's almost like dice tell the story. 183 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:46,080 AK!: as, as we think about our why and what we're doing and what we would do 184 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,780 differently if money, um, and pesky little things like needing health 185 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:54,370 insurance wasn't a factor, what would we be doing at the end of the day? 186 00:08:54,370 --> 00:08:55,360 It's about finding your why. 187 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,920 So yeah, talk us through even more than about this conversation 188 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,310 you had with your coach. 189 00:09:01,885 --> 00:09:08,815 Matt: So we started talking about the concept of well, of learning and, things 190 00:09:08,835 --> 00:09:14,162 like, I've told probably more than once in this podcast of little Matt Bivins, 191 00:09:14,852 --> 00:09:15,662 AK!: Oh, Mattie 192 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:21,602 Matt: table with an open dictionary, copying, Out the words and sobbing. 193 00:09:22,232 --> 00:09:22,472 I, 194 00:09:24,722 --> 00:09:25,741 AK!: Actually, you know what? 195 00:09:25,742 --> 00:09:26,762 I'm gonna correct you. 196 00:09:26,762 --> 00:09:30,152 I don't know that I've heard that story, and I bet our listeners 197 00:09:30,222 --> 00:09:30,972 Matt: so sad. 198 00:09:30,972 --> 00:09:31,272 Really? 199 00:09:31,702 --> 00:09:35,382 I, I despised busy work. 200 00:09:35,382 --> 00:09:37,092 I despised busy work. 201 00:09:37,152 --> 00:09:40,122 I knew when I was little what busy work was. 202 00:09:41,202 --> 00:09:43,932 I knew that it was simply 203 00:09:44,442 --> 00:09:45,592 AK!: I don't know what else to do with ya. 204 00:09:45,602 --> 00:09:45,642 Yeah. 205 00:09:45,932 --> 00:09:46,202 Matt: work. 206 00:09:46,202 --> 00:09:47,032 Yeah, exactly. 207 00:09:47,052 --> 00:09:48,092 Worked, worked, worked. 208 00:09:48,242 --> 00:09:53,512 I did, I, I, I knew that copying words out of a dictionary was not going to give 209 00:09:53,542 --> 00:10:00,492 me, not me personally, it was not going to give me any learning or understanding of 210 00:10:02,642 --> 00:10:03,832 language, really? 211 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:09,932 You know, and sure, if an English teacher, if an English teacher stops 212 00:10:09,932 --> 00:10:14,067 me on The street and says, hey, I heard that, You said that copying words out 213 00:10:14,067 --> 00:10:20,227 of a dictionary is not going to help you with English, and I disagree, sure, I'll 214 00:10:20,227 --> 00:10:26,897 listen to you, but it was busy work, it was pure busy work, and I, oh my gosh, 215 00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:36,837 I would just cry and cry, because I, I, it was so brutal, and the, the problem 216 00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:42,517 is, my brain is missing the thing. 217 00:10:43,337 --> 00:10:44,907 Probably, it's called dopamine. 218 00:10:45,877 --> 00:10:47,217 Dopamine receptors, right? 219 00:10:47,227 --> 00:10:55,287 Like, uh, that allows me to continually do something if I don't, if I can't 220 00:10:55,287 --> 00:11:02,457 comprehend the why, if I don't understand the why, if I don't, if, you know, I was 221 00:11:02,457 --> 00:11:10,307 just saying to you that on a timeline I can, I can pinpoint in any job I've ever 222 00:11:10,317 --> 00:11:15,617 had where I lost the love for that job, it almost always correlates to the time 223 00:11:15,617 --> 00:11:18,777 where I lose faith, I lose respect for. 224 00:11:19,217 --> 00:11:26,267 The boss, or the reason, if I'm the boss, if the project just falls apart because 225 00:11:27,327 --> 00:11:27,817 AK!: Mm 226 00:11:27,897 --> 00:11:31,167 Matt: the why skitters away, right? 227 00:11:31,697 --> 00:11:41,407 It becomes less meaningful, or it becomes clouded, or any, if I can't hold on to 228 00:11:41,427 --> 00:11:45,607 that that feeling of why am I doing this? 229 00:11:46,947 --> 00:11:47,407 Oh, 230 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:53,237 AK!: I love that in your world, why's are the like, scary little monsters, 231 00:11:53,557 --> 00:11:56,557 not scary, but little monsters that could be cute little monsters. 232 00:11:56,787 --> 00:11:57,557 Matt: Oh, yeah. 233 00:11:57,737 --> 00:12:00,767 AK!: You know, that when you turn on the light, they all go skittering about. 234 00:12:00,877 --> 00:12:03,447 Um, and that's what people mean that that's giving me a really 235 00:12:03,447 --> 00:12:05,117 great visual for find your why. 236 00:12:05,567 --> 00:12:08,407 Um, cute little monsters. 237 00:12:08,677 --> 00:12:11,237 Matt: I want to find, the monsters then what does that say about me? 238 00:12:11,267 --> 00:12:11,797 Yeah 239 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:13,497 AK!: Matthew Bivins, Monster Hunter. 240 00:12:13,957 --> 00:12:20,137 Um, uh, no, I, and I'm with you and I've never really correlated the 241 00:12:20,137 --> 00:12:21,377 two, but you're completely right. 242 00:12:21,377 --> 00:12:27,857 And so I do wonder if that is humanity or ADHD or both, por que no los dos, right? 243 00:12:28,437 --> 00:12:33,747 About, you know, because yeah, I mean, is finding the why your 244 00:12:33,747 --> 00:12:36,997 own personal form of dopamining? 245 00:12:37,962 --> 00:12:38,872 Matt: For sure. 246 00:12:39,002 --> 00:12:43,142 Uh, it's, it is, it is absolutely necessary for me. 247 00:12:43,282 --> 00:12:48,172 I have actually close to attacked a rent a cop before. 248 00:12:49,897 --> 00:12:56,947 Because the why, the fairness, the justice was being trodden upon, right? 249 00:12:57,407 --> 00:13:03,317 By someone who is just following some kind of order blindly, and then gets all 250 00:13:03,317 --> 00:13:05,927 puffed up, and I have no respect for that. 251 00:13:06,217 --> 00:13:07,117 For that person. 252 00:13:07,697 --> 00:13:11,087 Uh, same with some bosses, same with with 253 00:13:12,382 --> 00:13:13,432 AK!: My parents. 254 00:13:14,847 --> 00:13:18,627 Matt: same with parents, same with game masters. 255 00:13:18,687 --> 00:13:25,027 Same with, you know, like I have to know, I have to feel. 256 00:13:25,902 --> 00:13:33,772 Like, there is, there is a point to it, and I will follow rules to the letter. 257 00:13:34,472 --> 00:13:34,952 AK!: Yeah. 258 00:13:35,052 --> 00:13:38,642 Matt: They may be ridiculous rules, but I will follow them. 259 00:13:38,762 --> 00:13:40,302 Like, here's a good example. 260 00:13:40,472 --> 00:13:46,952 I, I did actually go to the Soup Nazi in New York, um, when I was living there. 261 00:13:47,062 --> 00:13:50,462 And, uh, that, that was made famous 262 00:13:50,892 --> 00:13:51,402 AK!: No soup for 263 00:13:51,552 --> 00:13:52,412 Matt: by, Yeah. 264 00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:53,772 No soup for you. 265 00:13:53,862 --> 00:14:00,422 Seinfeld . And I went and I heard these stories of this person who had all 266 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:05,702 these rules and regulations as to, you know, why he had to have, you have to 267 00:14:06,122 --> 00:14:09,922 six feet apart or something and you step up and if you don't know what you 268 00:14:10,262 --> 00:14:11,857 want to order, then you have to get it. 269 00:14:12,157 --> 00:14:14,527 you know, get out of line and start over. 270 00:14:14,537 --> 00:14:16,127 It was very, very intense. 271 00:14:16,431 --> 00:14:26,141 But he had personal, genuine reasons for the intensity of these rules. 272 00:14:26,631 --> 00:14:31,451 I'm not saying that these rules were rules that I would have, necessarily. 273 00:14:31,661 --> 00:14:35,006 But for him, if you wanted his soup. 274 00:14:35,206 --> 00:14:37,176 This is the way he needed it done. 275 00:14:37,656 --> 00:14:42,266 And I could follow those rules very, very easily. 276 00:14:42,286 --> 00:14:48,276 But if, if it had, if there was any kind of, and every single one of 277 00:14:48,276 --> 00:14:52,856 the rules did make sense, what he's trying to do is keep the line moving 278 00:14:52,866 --> 00:14:59,086 because there was an enormous wait all the time at this tiny little place. 279 00:14:59,286 --> 00:15:03,116 There wasn't room for people to Hang out. 280 00:15:03,116 --> 00:15:04,006 AK!: Stand around and mull 281 00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:05,666 Matt: You had to be efficient. 282 00:15:05,976 --> 00:15:11,036 I mean, that was New York as a whole, New York City as a whole, the efficiency. 283 00:15:11,326 --> 00:15:12,256 I got it. 284 00:15:12,936 --> 00:15:13,966 I really got it. 285 00:15:14,036 --> 00:15:15,986 Even if it was annoying to me. 286 00:15:16,086 --> 00:15:17,106 I accepted it. 287 00:15:17,126 --> 00:15:17,516 Right? 288 00:15:17,591 --> 00:15:17,961 AK!: yep. 289 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:19,626 Matt: So, 290 00:15:19,881 --> 00:15:23,541 AK!: So, I'm going to, I'm going to totally sidetrack us on a little side 291 00:15:23,541 --> 00:15:27,141 quest for a second, but, you're bringing up New York and then I'm wondering, I'm 292 00:15:27,141 --> 00:15:28,711 wondering if we can tie all this back in. 293 00:15:29,031 --> 00:15:33,371 I saw a really interesting TikTok a couple of weeks ago about why New 294 00:15:33,371 --> 00:15:35,141 Yorkers are the way that they are, 295 00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:35,636 Matt: Mm hmm. 296 00:15:36,011 --> 00:15:38,691 AK!: Um, because, you know, you know, it's one of those, like, from the 297 00:15:38,941 --> 00:15:42,601 outsiders looking in, think that New Yorkers are some of the most crass, 298 00:15:42,661 --> 00:15:47,471 most rude, most unforgiving, you know, New Yorkers get this bad rap of just 299 00:15:47,471 --> 00:15:49,761 being bitches and assholes, right? 300 00:15:49,761 --> 00:15:54,991 And, and, and so this TikToker, and I'll have to try and find it by the 301 00:15:54,991 --> 00:15:57,231 time we publish this episode, so we can include it with the show notes, 302 00:15:57,271 --> 00:15:59,921 because I in no way, shape or form want to take credit for this thought. 303 00:16:00,311 --> 00:16:04,291 But basically, New York is the most crowded city in America. 304 00:16:04,906 --> 00:16:06,756 And one of the more crowded cities in the world. 305 00:16:06,756 --> 00:16:10,466 I know we don't, can't hold a candle to cities in Asia and things like that, 306 00:16:10,466 --> 00:16:12,136 but, but for what it is, it is crowded. 307 00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:17,606 And so what New Yorkers value the most, and this fits into Soup Nazi as well, is 308 00:16:17,756 --> 00:16:23,186 space, both in terms of, like, physical bubbles around ourselves, as well as, 309 00:16:23,196 --> 00:16:26,426 like, the space that you can create for yourself, like, space and time. 310 00:16:26,841 --> 00:16:28,831 Time for me is space, right? 311 00:16:28,831 --> 00:16:34,351 Like when I get the most just like cringy and bitchy is usually when like 312 00:16:34,591 --> 00:16:37,741 I have convinced myself I don't have enough time to do something and I go into 313 00:16:37,741 --> 00:16:40,201 like panic, overdrive, overload mode. 314 00:16:40,586 --> 00:16:40,896 Matt: Yeah. 315 00:16:41,351 --> 00:16:44,651 AK!: So, this creator goes on basically to say that because space is the 316 00:16:44,651 --> 00:16:48,911 thing that New Yorkers as a collective value the most, it is the thing 317 00:16:48,961 --> 00:16:50,621 that we will protect at all costs. 318 00:16:50,856 --> 00:16:51,216 Matt: Yeah. 319 00:16:51,981 --> 00:16:55,921 AK!: But if you've ever noticed that whenever there is any sort of, like, 320 00:16:56,061 --> 00:17:01,641 crisis or, like, opportunity to help, that's when, like, the space like, closes 321 00:17:01,651 --> 00:17:04,961 in on itself and New Yorkers, like, can't get to you fast enough, you know, so it's 322 00:17:04,961 --> 00:17:08,431 like, the example that they gave is when you're on the subway, it's like, don't 323 00:17:08,481 --> 00:17:12,771 permeate, don't penetrate my bubble, don't talk to me, don't look at me, like, 324 00:17:12,771 --> 00:17:14,981 don't get too close to me physically. 325 00:17:15,511 --> 00:17:20,041 But, like, the 2nd that they see somebody, like, examining the map that's in 326 00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:24,101 every subway car and looking perplexed and like, it's like, people go out of 327 00:17:24,101 --> 00:17:27,991 their way to fold in and around and say, like, how can I give you space? 328 00:17:27,991 --> 00:17:32,181 It's a different kind of space now to, like platform you to ask your questions 329 00:17:32,211 --> 00:17:35,791 to like see what you need and you know that's how New Yorkers get the bad rap is 330 00:17:35,791 --> 00:17:40,631 because just at all points we are doing this like mental triangulation of like how 331 00:17:40,631 --> 00:17:44,681 can I hold my physical and mental bubble so I can like make it through the day in 332 00:17:44,681 --> 00:17:47,921 this really really cutthroat city and I just think that that's really interesting. 333 00:17:48,061 --> 00:17:51,601 Matt: I felt that I had that exact same theory. 334 00:17:51,891 --> 00:17:52,721 After living there. 335 00:17:53,421 --> 00:17:57,351 I felt that exact same way to the point where moving to Chicago. 336 00:17:57,721 --> 00:18:04,181 I was kind of angry at first, because that is not a thing here in Chicago. 337 00:18:04,241 --> 00:18:06,111 There's a lot more space. 338 00:18:06,171 --> 00:18:09,941 They do not follow the same rules of efficiency. 339 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:13,431 They clog when the train stops and the door is open. 340 00:18:13,431 --> 00:18:16,281 They clog the exits. 341 00:18:16,321 --> 00:18:22,471 I mean, all, I mean, but I felt the same way in New York. 342 00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:24,141 And that's why I mentioned it. 343 00:18:26,516 --> 00:18:33,496 That is, that is the why, in my opinion, in my opinion, I thought New Yorkers were 344 00:18:33,556 --> 00:18:38,386 some of the kindest people in the same, for the same reason that you're saying. 345 00:18:38,556 --> 00:18:44,206 And you know, you could talk about the people that work at the 346 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:51,186 jobs that don't pay enough or are exhausting, like, MTA workers. 347 00:18:51,516 --> 00:18:52,356 I met a whole. 348 00:18:52,356 --> 00:18:56,546 lot of MTA workers that were incredibly nice and helpful, right? 349 00:18:56,546 --> 00:19:02,386 It's just, everything in New York is, is just intensified. 350 00:19:03,791 --> 00:19:08,441 To a degree where you have to, you have to think, you have to get out of the way. 351 00:19:09,011 --> 00:19:10,631 You've got to protect yourself. 352 00:19:11,781 --> 00:19:12,671 That is efficiency. 353 00:19:12,681 --> 00:19:13,481 That is the why. 354 00:19:13,491 --> 00:19:13,891 Yeah. 355 00:19:14,356 --> 00:19:17,236 AK!: Well, and so now like connecting the dots for me. 356 00:19:18,336 --> 00:19:21,616 Because, like, this started, you know, talking about, like, you use 357 00:19:21,616 --> 00:19:27,756 the word fairness and to tie that back to any level of NeuroSpice is 358 00:19:27,756 --> 00:19:29,396 like the word accommodations, right? 359 00:19:29,416 --> 00:19:32,896 Or accessibility, you know, is another big word. 360 00:19:32,916 --> 00:19:33,636 And so it's like, 361 00:19:33,746 --> 00:19:34,066 Matt: Yeah. 362 00:19:34,066 --> 00:19:34,366 Mm 363 00:19:34,856 --> 00:19:38,016 AK!: you know, accommodations, accessibility to otherwise are all 364 00:19:38,016 --> 00:19:41,941 conversations that we're trying to have to promote in some circumstances, 365 00:19:42,111 --> 00:19:48,801 equity, equality, fairness, because the same thing that you need in order to get 366 00:19:48,801 --> 00:19:52,921 through your day is not the same thing as I need in order to get through my day, 367 00:19:52,921 --> 00:19:55,491 but we both have an inalienable right 368 00:19:56,176 --> 00:19:56,586 Matt: Yep. 369 00:19:56,761 --> 00:20:00,011 AK!: to, you know, make it through our days, you know, without 370 00:20:00,031 --> 00:20:01,491 encroaching on the needs of others. 371 00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:04,311 And that, that's, that's, you know, kind of, I think, where this 372 00:20:05,211 --> 00:20:09,861 conversation is happening is like, how do our rights, needs, wants, whys. 373 00:20:11,241 --> 00:20:14,861 fair to us, how does that bump up against others, you know, 374 00:20:14,861 --> 00:20:15,971 and so you hear about it. 375 00:20:15,971 --> 00:20:19,641 I hear about it a lot of times in schools, you know, that's 376 00:20:19,641 --> 00:20:21,671 not fair that they got more time 377 00:20:21,736 --> 00:20:22,306 Matt: Mm hmm. 378 00:20:22,381 --> 00:20:22,671 AK!: test. 379 00:20:23,301 --> 00:20:25,941 That's not fair that they had this certain aid. 380 00:20:26,451 --> 00:20:30,761 Um, but, you know, like, all that fairness is trying to do 381 00:20:30,761 --> 00:20:32,531 is get everybody to a baseline, 382 00:20:32,616 --> 00:20:33,426 Matt: To a balance. 383 00:20:33,436 --> 00:20:34,616 Finding that balance. 384 00:20:35,356 --> 00:20:35,786 Yeah. 385 00:20:36,386 --> 00:20:37,036 100%. 386 00:20:37,076 --> 00:20:40,236 And in our outline, we, we mentioned two things that we wanted to kind of 387 00:20:40,276 --> 00:20:44,666 get, get to, after leaving a convention. 388 00:20:44,831 --> 00:20:45,201 AK!: hmm. 389 00:20:48,166 --> 00:20:50,506 Matt: How games are explained to us. 390 00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:52,536 How new games are explained. 391 00:20:53,276 --> 00:21:00,241 Um, and how All manner of factors that you would not expect 392 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:01,751 AK!: Mm 393 00:21:01,881 --> 00:21:05,811 Matt: go into whether or not we like a game, which again, I know is 394 00:21:05,811 --> 00:21:13,921 everyone, But for us those, those reasons can be, can seem silly, 395 00:21:14,371 --> 00:21:17,671 can seem, you know, or, or can seem 396 00:21:21,051 --> 00:21:23,751 superficial, perhaps, maybe. 397 00:21:23,761 --> 00:21:23,771 Mm 398 00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:28,906 AK!: what if we reframed reasons and rebranded that as values? 399 00:21:29,096 --> 00:21:35,396 So to go back to the New York City, both, you know, micro Soup Nazi, macro New York 400 00:21:35,396 --> 00:21:40,396 City as a whole, like, the value, the shared value of New York City is space. 401 00:21:40,436 --> 00:21:43,276 That's the thing that we must protect at all costs. 402 00:21:43,276 --> 00:21:43,636 Right? 403 00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:47,736 And so all New Yorkers rally around that knowledge and, 404 00:21:48,176 --> 00:21:51,906 act a certain kind of way when outsiders, especially encroach on 405 00:21:51,906 --> 00:21:54,566 that core shared value of space. 406 00:21:54,791 --> 00:21:55,241 Matt: Right. 407 00:21:56,206 --> 00:21:59,716 AK!: So, I think we can then apply the same things to like, what you were 408 00:21:59,716 --> 00:22:03,836 just saying about game systems and like, whether we are not, we like them 409 00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:10,216 is does some aspect of it infringe upon our group dynamic or value 410 00:22:10,421 --> 00:22:10,811 Matt: Yeah. 411 00:22:11,211 --> 00:22:11,691 I love it. 412 00:22:13,256 --> 00:22:23,186 We, we got all manner of types of explanation for new games this time. 413 00:22:23,886 --> 00:22:26,546 We, let's see if we can list the big ones. 414 00:22:26,626 --> 00:22:31,706 Uh, there was, there were the GMs that were explaining the game. 415 00:22:33,926 --> 00:22:35,666 AK!: Thoughtfully and in great detail. 416 00:22:35,791 --> 00:22:39,291 Matt: great detail, lots of thought went into it, almost 417 00:22:39,411 --> 00:22:47,381 rehearsed, almost memorized a, a performance of, of giving us rules. 418 00:22:48,101 --> 00:22:49,161 So that was one way. 419 00:22:51,021 --> 00:22:54,521 Another way was trial by fire, just drop you in. 420 00:22:54,956 --> 00:22:57,226 AK!: Let's just start playing and I'll explain it as we go. 421 00:22:57,481 --> 00:22:57,861 Matt: Right? 422 00:22:57,891 --> 00:23:01,151 Because the assumption is that everybody there has played a game. 423 00:23:01,371 --> 00:23:05,711 And so, You're just gonna find the, the correlations, you're gonna find 424 00:23:05,711 --> 00:23:07,341 the similarities, you're gonna find the 425 00:23:07,576 --> 00:23:12,486 AK!: Can you imagine rolling up to like GaryCon or GenCon or any of the cons 426 00:23:12,486 --> 00:23:13,966 and I've never played a game before. 427 00:23:14,171 --> 00:23:14,481 Matt: Yes. 428 00:23:17,806 --> 00:23:19,826 AK!: My first game, this is the first day I've ever had fun. 429 00:23:20,351 --> 00:23:20,561 Matt: I 430 00:23:25,051 --> 00:23:25,471 haven't thought 431 00:23:25,471 --> 00:23:27,331 AK!: Absurd, but you know it's probably happened to 432 00:23:27,561 --> 00:23:27,781 Matt: Oh, 433 00:23:28,061 --> 00:23:28,801 I mean, how could it 434 00:23:29,001 --> 00:23:31,261 AK!: Someone is out on their rumspringa and they 435 00:23:31,431 --> 00:23:34,601 Matt: yeah, I let out of the cage. 436 00:23:37,191 --> 00:23:38,981 AK!: By golly, I choose fun. 437 00:23:39,061 --> 00:23:40,311 I choose games. 438 00:23:40,471 --> 00:23:42,811 I choose Queen by Midnight. 439 00:23:43,261 --> 00:23:46,311 Matt: at that point, are they just like, they have a finger and 440 00:23:46,311 --> 00:23:49,571 they're just kind of going through the event book and they're like, 441 00:23:50,361 --> 00:23:51,281 call this one. 442 00:23:51,301 --> 00:23:51,771 I mean, 443 00:23:52,046 --> 00:23:55,036 AK!: I mean, you know, I think back to, to like our first group 444 00:23:55,036 --> 00:23:59,066 con, which was GaryCon of last year and our first game at GaryCon. 445 00:23:59,066 --> 00:24:03,016 So it was like, we didn't know what to expect going into a gaming convention, 446 00:24:03,016 --> 00:24:03,296 right? 447 00:24:03,316 --> 00:24:06,796 Like, I'm making fun and making light, but like, we walked into that 448 00:24:06,796 --> 00:24:08,726 very like, why, like, oh, God, where am I? 449 00:24:09,026 --> 00:24:09,916 How do we do this? 450 00:24:10,731 --> 00:24:14,741 Uh, in a little bit of culture shock, and, um, we sat down 451 00:24:14,741 --> 00:24:16,831 at a Dungeon Crawl Classics 452 00:24:16,861 --> 00:24:17,241 table. 453 00:24:17,251 --> 00:24:21,181 We had never played that before, and at that point, I had only played D&D. 454 00:24:21,271 --> 00:24:21,441 So, 455 00:24:21,441 --> 00:24:28,726 like, my realm of understanding of TTRPGs was razor thin. 456 00:24:29,396 --> 00:24:32,936 Um, you would at least played other games and been exposed to other 457 00:24:32,936 --> 00:24:34,356 games and stuff like that before. 458 00:24:34,746 --> 00:24:38,016 You know, did we do ourselves a disservice or did we do ourselves 459 00:24:38,016 --> 00:24:40,126 a tremendous, I mean, I think we did ourselves a tremendous 460 00:24:40,126 --> 00:24:41,516 service because it was exciting. 461 00:24:41,516 --> 00:24:42,286 It was new. 462 00:24:42,706 --> 00:24:45,576 It, you know, kind of opened the door of possibility. 463 00:24:45,896 --> 00:24:48,766 Matt: Our GM was very good at explaining the differences, I think. 464 00:24:48,866 --> 00:24:50,896 AK!: And shared values at the table, Right. 465 00:24:50,896 --> 00:24:53,946 Like, we had other players at that table who were also willing to shepherd 466 00:24:53,946 --> 00:24:59,666 us, which, like, unlocked something I think in you and me and Fitz, where, 467 00:24:59,676 --> 00:25:05,066 like, we felt respected, cared for, like, and therefore, like, I felt bold 468 00:25:05,066 --> 00:25:08,286 enough to ask the dumb questions so that I could understand, like, the why. 469 00:25:08,326 --> 00:25:13,046 It comes back to the why, too, like, because I am a petulant child in that, 470 00:25:13,046 --> 00:25:16,641 you know, regard when it comes to playing games of like, but why, why, why, 471 00:25:16,871 --> 00:25:18,621 why did I, why did I roll those dice? 472 00:25:18,641 --> 00:25:22,331 why, why, why did I, you know, like, and I am, I am constantly asking 473 00:25:22,331 --> 00:25:26,311 why when I don't understand because I don't, I want to understand why. 474 00:25:26,321 --> 00:25:29,771 And if you just tell me to roll three dice, and I, I remember like one 475 00:25:29,771 --> 00:25:32,251 of my biggest aha moments in D&D. 476 00:25:32,726 --> 00:25:38,716 Was as a rogue, I was always told to just roll your add your, uh, sleight 477 00:25:38,716 --> 00:25:41,046 of hand modifier when you're picking 478 00:25:41,486 --> 00:25:41,926 Matt: Right. 479 00:25:42,326 --> 00:25:45,196 AK!: and I never understood why, because that's not sleight of hand, right? 480 00:25:45,336 --> 00:25:45,966 Matt: Mm mm. 481 00:25:46,916 --> 00:25:52,236 AK!: It was finally explained to me that it is typically your, like, depending 482 00:25:52,236 --> 00:25:57,786 on what level you're at, you're adding proficiency and expertise bonuses and 483 00:25:57,796 --> 00:26:04,846 like 9 times out of 10, it came out to the same thing as, um, As slight 484 00:26:04,846 --> 00:26:07,776 of hand, for whatever reason, was the number that always aligned with that. 485 00:26:07,776 --> 00:26:08,976 I'm explaining this poorly, 486 00:26:09,236 --> 00:26:13,086 but basically, like, I think I was like a plus 9 and so if you looked at, 487 00:26:13,086 --> 00:26:17,406 like, what I had rolled Chimerical at at the time, it was like, my decks was 488 00:26:17,406 --> 00:26:21,326 a plus 6 and my proficiency was plus 3, 489 00:26:21,876 --> 00:26:23,846 which like, that's how we got to 9. 490 00:26:24,266 --> 00:26:28,706 So, ooh, and then I gave myself some, some fireworks for doing it. 491 00:26:29,156 --> 00:26:34,686 Um, but I remember, like, like, at the table constantly being told, 492 00:26:34,686 --> 00:26:37,126 like, oh, just roll sleight of hand for, you know, if you can pick 493 00:26:37,126 --> 00:26:38,686 that lock and me going, but why? 494 00:26:38,696 --> 00:26:42,746 And it was Fitz, actually, who explained it's DEX plus proficiency 495 00:26:42,746 --> 00:26:46,896 or in your case, Expertise, which then bumped it from 9 to 12, 496 00:26:48,356 --> 00:26:48,976 Matt: okay, 497 00:26:49,026 --> 00:26:51,816 AK!: know, but, like, understanding that, because otherwise it just felt 498 00:26:51,816 --> 00:26:54,856 so very arbitrary to, like, pick this random skill that wasn't exact. 499 00:26:55,046 --> 00:26:56,446 I thought that's what we all were doing. 500 00:26:56,446 --> 00:27:00,286 I thought y'all were just picking a sort of closely aligned skill, sleight 501 00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:04,466 of hand, and something that almost every rogue ever has proficiency, if 502 00:27:04,466 --> 00:27:06,116 not expertise in, is sleight of hand. 503 00:27:06,136 --> 00:27:09,526 So it's like, you're, but that's the why, right? 504 00:27:09,526 --> 00:27:11,266 Because not every rogue is going to. 505 00:27:11,566 --> 00:27:12,886 Pick lockpicking tools. 506 00:27:12,896 --> 00:27:14,786 Not every rogue is going to be sneaky. 507 00:27:15,316 --> 00:27:16,806 Some of them are going to be more lethal. 508 00:27:16,816 --> 00:27:19,076 Some of them are going to be more tricky, you know, and so it was 509 00:27:19,076 --> 00:27:23,536 like this, like, why do we use the sleight of hand stat for lockpicking? 510 00:27:24,136 --> 00:27:27,286 Well, we don't, but that happened at a glance. 511 00:27:27,286 --> 00:27:28,996 It was easier just to say add nine 512 00:27:28,996 --> 00:27:32,236 rather than dex plus proficiency or expertise. 513 00:27:32,616 --> 00:27:36,256 Matt: That's a good segue into something that I was gonna mention 514 00:27:36,256 --> 00:27:42,656 too, is that no matter how these games are being explained, uh, to me 515 00:27:42,666 --> 00:27:52,266 at least, whether it's the full pre game speech, or as we go, I, I pretty 516 00:27:52,266 --> 00:27:57,086 much have to find the correlations to the things that I know in my brain. 517 00:27:57,366 --> 00:28:00,616 So, I know that people don't like this. 518 00:28:01,571 --> 00:28:05,111 But I have to say, oh, like, blank. 519 00:28:05,281 --> 00:28:06,201 Oh, like this. 520 00:28:06,641 --> 00:28:12,491 I am constantly putting people into quote unquote boxes, 521 00:28:14,931 --> 00:28:18,651 which I know can be unfair, but to me, it is 522 00:28:20,881 --> 00:28:22,701 a true way that I'm learning. 523 00:28:23,271 --> 00:28:32,201 So, for example, in Tales of the Valiant, they have a mechanic called Talents, 524 00:28:33,061 --> 00:28:39,811 which are Feats, and so I'll literally write down Talents equals Feats, and 525 00:28:39,811 --> 00:28:47,751 then I can comprehend it, if, if I, if I do, or that music, it's kind of like 526 00:28:47,761 --> 00:28:53,481 Lady Gaga, uh, meets Mexican Mariachi. 527 00:28:54,121 --> 00:28:56,121 And then that just, it calms me. 528 00:28:56,161 --> 00:29:01,371 It, it allows me to, it's not that I, it's not that I'm, I'm not belittling 529 00:29:01,381 --> 00:29:03,101 anybody by saying these things. 530 00:29:03,111 --> 00:29:09,241 I'm, I'm saying, this is, this is me picking up on The similarities 531 00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:12,651 in order to learn, right? 532 00:29:13,006 --> 00:29:13,356 AK!: Yeah. 533 00:29:14,081 --> 00:29:14,421 Matt: Yeah. 534 00:29:15,376 --> 00:29:17,976 AK!: I'm sitting here trying to like code you like you Matt or 535 00:29:17,976 --> 00:29:20,556 what happens if and I just can't think of something fast enough to 536 00:29:21,766 --> 00:29:22,856 be witty and fun. 537 00:29:23,581 --> 00:29:32,136 Matt: uh, uh, it, it, Matt is what happens if a hipster meets. 538 00:29:32,206 --> 00:29:38,636 AK!: Cumming had been born 15 years later to parents of hipsters and denied 539 00:29:38,656 --> 00:29:41,306 access to technology until his 20s. 540 00:29:43,361 --> 00:29:47,941 Matt: Interesting and wasn't as fabulous for sure. 541 00:29:49,006 --> 00:29:51,796 AK!: No, I chose Alan Cumming specifically for this. 542 00:29:52,041 --> 00:29:53,261 Matt: for the, for the fabulousness. 543 00:29:53,281 --> 00:29:53,841 Okay, Great. 544 00:29:54,046 --> 00:29:54,926 AK!: Yeah, Yeah, 545 00:29:56,361 --> 00:29:56,931 Matt: Uh, 546 00:29:57,166 --> 00:30:00,876 AK!: But no, I, I mean, as, as, you know, the ultimate, like, 547 00:30:00,946 --> 00:30:03,186 comfort, cozy gremlin over here. 548 00:30:03,366 --> 00:30:03,746 Matt: Yeah, 549 00:30:04,231 --> 00:30:09,821 AK!: I see you on that in terms of like, you gotta put it in something that, you 550 00:30:09,821 --> 00:30:12,571 know, that's how we remember things. 551 00:30:12,601 --> 00:30:15,391 That's how we know what we're gravitating towards is like, can I put, can I 552 00:30:15,391 --> 00:30:21,421 frame this to where I, you know, and I think that's why I was scared of. 553 00:30:22,256 --> 00:30:26,816 Other systems for so long because they were so unfamiliar 554 00:30:27,076 --> 00:30:27,366 Matt: Yeah, 555 00:30:28,036 --> 00:30:32,076 AK!: and it wasn't until I, I mean, I think we've talked about this a little 556 00:30:32,076 --> 00:30:33,326 bit on Pocket Dimension Live, right? 557 00:30:33,326 --> 00:30:38,366 Like, your ultimate plight of the last year has been to, like, fix 558 00:30:38,406 --> 00:30:42,836 the things that are broken in 5e and until you pointed out that until 559 00:30:43,046 --> 00:30:43,416 Matt: on there. 560 00:30:43,846 --> 00:30:44,216 Yeah. 561 00:30:44,216 --> 00:30:45,046 Yeah. 562 00:30:45,046 --> 00:30:45,256 Yeah, 563 00:30:45,356 --> 00:30:46,346 AK!: out that they were broken. 564 00:30:46,366 --> 00:30:49,366 I, I, I didn't know I was none the wiser. 565 00:30:49,376 --> 00:30:50,376 You know, it wasn't. 566 00:30:50,536 --> 00:30:51,316 Matt: They weren't to you 567 00:30:51,546 --> 00:30:52,426 AK!: They weren't to me. 568 00:30:52,446 --> 00:30:56,916 And so, of course, now that you've, like, pointed it out, it's all like, 569 00:30:57,036 --> 00:31:01,146 like, I am now hyper aware, you know, I mean, I think that's why, like, I've 570 00:31:01,146 --> 00:31:05,566 now turned the corner to, like, I just want to play Daggerheart all the time. 571 00:31:05,576 --> 00:31:08,456 Like, because everything else now frustrates me because. 572 00:31:08,991 --> 00:31:09,481 because. 573 00:31:09,551 --> 00:31:12,451 as, as we've talked about in our server, Daggerheart is written 574 00:31:12,451 --> 00:31:14,161 for theater kids by theater kids. 575 00:31:14,571 --> 00:31:17,311 So of course it's the thing that I personally am gravitating towards. 576 00:31:17,311 --> 00:31:20,181 And I think that's a beautiful, beautiful thing, because that's a comfort thing. 577 00:31:20,181 --> 00:31:21,201 It's something I understand. 578 00:31:21,201 --> 00:31:22,421 It's something I get, right? 579 00:31:22,911 --> 00:31:26,761 Um, and, you know, it helps that it's from the team that I have 580 00:31:26,761 --> 00:31:29,641 consumed the most TTRPG content from. 581 00:31:29,661 --> 00:31:32,781 So again, we're like adding to that's my why, right? 582 00:31:32,831 --> 00:31:35,881 But, you know, like, when we talk about our core, core values, core 583 00:31:35,881 --> 00:31:39,131 beliefs, you know, like, that all that is, is you finding your why. 584 00:31:39,141 --> 00:31:40,891 Like, what is the thing that drives you the most? 585 00:31:40,891 --> 00:31:41,691 Is it independence? 586 00:31:41,691 --> 00:31:42,281 Is it freedom? 587 00:31:42,281 --> 00:31:42,811 Is it love? 588 00:31:42,811 --> 00:31:43,641 Is it family? 589 00:31:43,831 --> 00:31:44,371 Matt: Mm hmm. 590 00:31:44,436 --> 00:31:45,466 AK!: All of those different things. 591 00:31:45,466 --> 00:31:49,936 And it's like, the older I get and the more like set in my ways, get off 592 00:31:49,936 --> 00:31:56,016 my lawn, um, that I get, the more I am interested in like, what is easy? 593 00:31:56,016 --> 00:31:57,106 What is comfortable? 594 00:31:57,106 --> 00:31:58,166 What is cozy? 595 00:31:58,506 --> 00:32:02,246 I had a friend here this weekend and she looked around in my living 596 00:32:02,246 --> 00:32:04,976 room when we were done cleaning and she was like, it's so cozy in here. 597 00:32:04,976 --> 00:32:07,446 And I was like, that's just the nicest thing you could say to 598 00:32:07,471 --> 00:32:08,421 Matt: That's really nice. 599 00:32:08,494 --> 00:32:11,616 AK!: lovely to hear that you felt cozy. 600 00:32:12,226 --> 00:32:12,966 Um, 601 00:32:13,151 --> 00:32:17,111 Matt: I personally wish that people would stop equating that 602 00:32:17,121 --> 00:32:20,021 feeling, that desire, with old. 603 00:32:21,086 --> 00:32:21,646 AK!: yeah. 604 00:32:21,896 --> 00:32:26,276 Matt: To, to me, I don't mind being, I don't mind getting older. 605 00:32:26,306 --> 00:32:26,866 I really don't. 606 00:32:26,916 --> 00:32:33,026 I have no problems with that, I don't care if anybody calls me old, they have 607 00:32:33,026 --> 00:32:40,416 the right to do so, but to me, I feel so much smarter and wiser than I used to be. 608 00:32:41,156 --> 00:32:42,576 So much smarter. 609 00:32:42,726 --> 00:32:50,046 I work so much harder to do the same dumb things back in the day. 610 00:32:50,236 --> 00:32:51,156 It was busy work. 611 00:32:51,186 --> 00:32:55,496 I gave myself busy work and it was unnecessary, right? 612 00:32:55,576 --> 00:32:59,646 Talk about like, talk about finding the why, but 613 00:33:00,531 --> 00:33:00,921 AK!: Are you? 614 00:33:01,086 --> 00:33:02,306 Matt: a balance where you? 615 00:33:02,356 --> 00:33:05,176 push yourself and you learn new things and you grow. 616 00:33:05,536 --> 00:33:11,366 There's that, but then there's also the, you know, slowing down as a part of life. 617 00:33:11,436 --> 00:33:12,086 Sure. 618 00:33:12,176 --> 00:33:12,656 But. 619 00:33:13,756 --> 00:33:16,246 Doing, being smarter about 620 00:33:17,271 --> 00:33:17,851 AK!: All right. 621 00:33:18,251 --> 00:33:20,611 Are you ready for me to eat some humble pie? 622 00:33:20,671 --> 00:33:22,181 We've been eating a lot of humble pie 623 00:33:22,516 --> 00:33:23,296 Matt: Yeah 624 00:33:23,671 --> 00:33:25,861 AK!: You, you were with me. 625 00:33:25,881 --> 00:33:31,321 So, so knowing what we know about me now that I am, uh, sometimes abrasive 626 00:33:31,321 --> 00:33:34,531 towards new things first times, right? 627 00:33:36,076 --> 00:33:38,836 You were with me, you were there, you were present the first time 628 00:33:38,836 --> 00:33:40,496 I was ever called middle aged. 629 00:33:40,806 --> 00:33:41,196 Matt: right 630 00:33:45,556 --> 00:33:45,896 AK!: And I 631 00:33:46,186 --> 00:33:47,026 Matt: Wow 632 00:33:47,886 --> 00:33:52,636 AK!: remember the look on your face as I had like an all out meltdown. 633 00:33:52,656 --> 00:33:53,296 Matt: really melted 634 00:33:53,556 --> 00:33:55,216 AK!: I did, I lost it. 635 00:33:55,886 --> 00:34:00,646 For context, the person calling me middle aged at the time was 17, 636 00:34:00,856 --> 00:34:01,346 Matt: Mm hmm. 637 00:34:01,596 --> 00:34:02,066 Oh 638 00:34:02,096 --> 00:34:02,546 AK!: in there. 639 00:34:02,596 --> 00:34:03,656 Maybe 15. 640 00:34:03,906 --> 00:34:04,316 Matt: Okay. 641 00:34:04,396 --> 00:34:05,366 Yeah Still, 642 00:34:05,516 --> 00:34:10,496 AK!: Still, you know, I know like to like 15, 16 year olds, 643 00:34:10,496 --> 00:34:12,356 everybody over 30 is old, right? 644 00:34:12,356 --> 00:34:15,486 But I had never been called middle aged before. 645 00:34:15,486 --> 00:34:16,476 Okay, that's all. 646 00:34:16,696 --> 00:34:19,166 And I mean, that was before I turned 40. 647 00:34:19,306 --> 00:34:22,486 And so I was still in my 30s. 648 00:34:22,676 --> 00:34:26,416 And so to be in my 30s, I'm going to live to at least 90. 649 00:34:26,426 --> 00:34:26,936 Okay. 650 00:34:26,936 --> 00:34:31,606 So, like, technically, I got a couple more years before I'm technically 651 00:34:32,066 --> 00:34:33,706 middle aged, according to me. 652 00:34:33,766 --> 00:34:34,206 Okay. 653 00:34:34,346 --> 00:34:35,706 But I digress. 654 00:34:36,651 --> 00:34:37,241 But yeah, I did. 655 00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:39,351 I had a meltdown and I just remember Matt looking at me 656 00:34:39,351 --> 00:34:41,181 like, what is wrong with you? 657 00:34:42,051 --> 00:34:44,621 You are really blowing this out of proportion. 658 00:34:44,626 --> 00:34:46,006 Matt: Was stunned at your reaction. 659 00:34:46,531 --> 00:34:50,031 AK!: Something new, but now call me middle aged man, because middle age 660 00:34:50,051 --> 00:34:54,901 means that I am slow enough and wise enough to enjoy the things that matter. 661 00:34:55,241 --> 00:34:59,661 It means that I care about protecting my own peace more than I do about. 662 00:35:00,231 --> 00:35:01,571 Honoring others wishes. 663 00:35:02,421 --> 00:35:05,381 It means that I understand and enforce boundaries. 664 00:35:05,821 --> 00:35:07,841 It means I know what works and what doesn't. 665 00:35:08,351 --> 00:35:10,451 Like, you can call me middle aged. 666 00:35:10,501 --> 00:35:15,441 I'm officially giving everyone this decree here at 42 years old. 667 00:35:15,441 --> 00:35:17,966 If you want to refer to me as middle aged. 668 00:35:18,736 --> 00:35:21,786 I give you permission, but 38 year old Alison, 669 00:35:22,261 --> 00:35:23,801 Matt: Who was mad? 670 00:35:24,106 --> 00:35:24,666 AK!: Big mad. 671 00:35:24,811 --> 00:35:27,731 Matt: Uh, well, Middle Aged Alison, uh, 672 00:35:28,356 --> 00:35:30,506 AK!: Wow, you just really immediately took that permission 673 00:35:30,506 --> 00:35:31,636 and ran with it, didn't you? 674 00:35:33,721 --> 00:35:38,761 Matt: Well, I, I also feel like, beyond the learning of a game, and 675 00:35:39,011 --> 00:35:43,821 I, if, if anybody was hoping that we were going to give accessibility 676 00:35:43,821 --> 00:35:46,961 tips, I'm sorry, we didn't really give that many of how to do it. 677 00:35:46,991 --> 00:35:49,391 We kind of, I, and I don't know that there is a way. 678 00:35:49,411 --> 00:35:54,291 You, you really preferred being dropped into the learning of a game. 679 00:35:54,791 --> 00:36:00,871 We also brought, I think one thing that helped as far as like actual help was we 680 00:36:00,871 --> 00:36:04,891 brought noise cancelling headphones and we plugged in, we had microphones that 681 00:36:04,921 --> 00:36:12,956 kind of, uh, could in, in that situation we, we reduced some of the incessant 682 00:36:12,966 --> 00:36:18,666 background noise, which makes it very difficult for us to be able to focus. 683 00:36:19,536 --> 00:36:20,846 That's just a mechanic. 684 00:36:20,976 --> 00:36:27,156 But I think that the next part of this is, let's say we've learned the game, 685 00:36:27,346 --> 00:36:30,726 we got through it, and we played it, 686 00:36:31,276 --> 00:36:31,636 AK!: Mm hmm. 687 00:36:31,746 --> 00:36:38,121 Matt: then Then I also think the why speaks to whether or not we like a game. 688 00:36:38,166 --> 00:36:38,576 AK!: Yeah. 689 00:36:38,736 --> 00:36:39,136 Yep. 690 00:36:40,171 --> 00:36:42,861 Matt: Does that game feel balanced? 691 00:36:43,551 --> 00:36:48,001 Does it improve on something else, another experience? 692 00:36:48,871 --> 00:36:51,631 Do the rules feel 693 00:36:52,096 --> 00:36:52,556 AK!: Yeah. 694 00:36:52,641 --> 00:36:53,311 Matt: fair? 695 00:36:54,001 --> 00:36:54,931 Well thought out? 696 00:36:55,076 --> 00:36:55,586 AK!: Mm hmm. 697 00:36:55,791 --> 00:36:56,251 Matt: Interesting? 698 00:36:56,645 --> 00:37:04,745 AK!: Do we understand, like, and respect the path that the game has taken? 699 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:05,320 Matt: Yes. 700 00:37:05,925 --> 00:37:10,275 AK!: To, you know, there's a lot of coverage right now in the year 701 00:37:10,275 --> 00:37:14,695 of our Lord 2024 and really has been since last year when the OGL 702 00:37:14,705 --> 00:37:19,465 scandal broke, you know, around the way that like Hasbro and Wizards of 703 00:37:19,465 --> 00:37:24,225 the Coast are handling and there's people wanting to get away from D&D. 704 00:37:24,245 --> 00:37:28,325 In fact, before you and I started recording this very podcast, there 705 00:37:28,325 --> 00:37:31,615 were yet more new comments on some of our recent live streams. 706 00:37:32,450 --> 00:37:36,840 Even backing up to, like, a month or two ago of people saying, I'm looking 707 00:37:36,860 --> 00:37:43,520 for the next D&D because I'm done supporting that particular business. 708 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:49,245 And we've run into that too with, like, You know, watching the trajectory, we 709 00:37:49,245 --> 00:37:52,495 are living in a, you and I both said this often, we are living in truly 710 00:37:52,495 --> 00:37:55,715 like a golden age of games, right? 711 00:37:55,745 --> 00:37:58,095 We are never wanting 712 00:37:58,105 --> 00:38:02,285 for something to learn, talk about, play, dissect, etc. 713 00:38:04,005 --> 00:38:09,355 But part of that is we've gotten to see games go from ideas into playtesting. 714 00:38:10,190 --> 00:38:14,240 You know, and, and into releases on several different systems. 715 00:38:14,410 --> 00:38:20,910 And we don't always align with the path that they took to get there. 716 00:38:21,235 --> 00:38:28,345 Matt: Which is, which is absolutely their prerogative, uh, but that is, that is the, 717 00:38:33,055 --> 00:38:39,365 hmm, that's another thing that I think the ADHD brain has to maneuver 718 00:38:39,845 --> 00:38:49,075 is not just, accepting the why, but then creating the history. 719 00:38:49,610 --> 00:38:55,590 That allows us to stick with things. 720 00:38:56,630 --> 00:39:05,230 That allows us to, uh, not completely leave one thing for all the ooshiny. 721 00:39:06,580 --> 00:39:09,850 Uh, which, you know, we just did a podcast about recently. 722 00:39:10,260 --> 00:39:15,490 And futzing, and fixing, and finding the new shiny things. 723 00:39:16,350 --> 00:39:23,430 But the danger is that just like a boss that I work for, or a client that has 724 00:39:23,430 --> 00:39:30,610 a meltdown, if I lose respect for the game mechanics that have evolved in 725 00:39:30,620 --> 00:39:37,160 such a way, uh, the artist that wants to completely redefine themselves, 726 00:39:37,620 --> 00:39:43,620 the creator of games that, uh, You know, gotten to know personally. 727 00:39:43,620 --> 00:39:44,540 It could be anything. 728 00:39:44,570 --> 00:39:45,600 It could be any 729 00:39:47,660 --> 00:39:51,160 thing that would trigger this difficulty with 730 00:39:54,130 --> 00:39:54,880 respect. 731 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:56,520 It's not a difficulty with respect. 732 00:39:56,530 --> 00:40:01,610 It's a, it's a, I need to respect you. 733 00:40:01,710 --> 00:40:08,630 I need to respect the situation in order to, you know, be a part of your creation. 734 00:40:08,750 --> 00:40:15,160 A lot of times, and I know that there's a difference between the artist and the art. 735 00:40:16,220 --> 00:40:17,110 I accept that. 736 00:40:17,420 --> 00:40:18,270 I went to art school. 737 00:40:18,270 --> 00:40:18,870 I get it. 738 00:40:18,890 --> 00:40:22,960 Like, there were horrible classmates of mine that could 739 00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:24,190 AK!: cool things. 740 00:40:24,270 --> 00:40:26,010 Matt: beautiful, beautiful things. 741 00:40:26,060 --> 00:40:30,880 And, um, so it's, it's not even that. 742 00:40:31,140 --> 00:40:37,970 It's that if you're going to ask me, as an artist, for example, 743 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,335 to If we have a relationship, 744 00:40:41,780 --> 00:40:43,400 AK!: Mm-Hmm. 745 00:40:43,625 --> 00:40:49,215 Matt: me to feel a certain way, enjoy something, to, to learn about 746 00:40:49,215 --> 00:40:54,335 something, and my respect for you has changed, Or my respect for what 747 00:40:54,335 --> 00:41:00,095 you have created has changed, my understanding of it, my faith in it, 748 00:41:01,735 --> 00:41:04,525 I'm going to walk away, most likely. 749 00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,180 AK!: Or this goes two ways. 750 00:41:08,180 --> 00:41:09,470 This is a swinging door. 751 00:41:09,530 --> 00:41:14,000 You know, like it means that we don't necessarily subscribe to cancel culture 752 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:15,230 and that everything is redeemable. 753 00:41:15,430 --> 00:41:16,130 Matt: That's what I'm saying. 754 00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:18,770 AK!: you know, the example I can think here is, a year ago we put out a 755 00:41:18,770 --> 00:41:21,140 scathing review of Tales of the Valiant. 756 00:41:21,795 --> 00:41:25,855 And now we're applauding it and saying, hey, this could be, this could be our 757 00:41:25,855 --> 00:41:27,995 D&D replacement, our 5e replacement. 758 00:41:28,495 --> 00:41:30,905 Um, and that's on both. 759 00:41:31,225 --> 00:41:33,485 Our perspective has shifted in the last year. 760 00:41:33,495 --> 00:41:36,655 We are, we are in a different place than we were when we played and 761 00:41:36,655 --> 00:41:38,195 reviewed it for the 1st time a year ago. 762 00:41:38,435 --> 00:41:39,085 And they 763 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:40,040 Matt: They are. 764 00:41:40,330 --> 00:41:44,540 AK!: And, and we respect the, you know, the, the thing that the way to get respect 765 00:41:44,540 --> 00:41:46,810 from me is to prove that you're listening. 766 00:41:46,850 --> 00:41:50,530 I've also, you know, applauded the Daggerheart team for this, 767 00:41:50,690 --> 00:41:51,820 you know, all along the way. 768 00:41:51,820 --> 00:41:53,580 Is that like each of the videos that they put out? 769 00:41:53,940 --> 00:41:55,560 Okay, this mechanic didn't work. 770 00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:56,960 We heard you guys loud and clear. 771 00:41:56,980 --> 00:41:58,060 Let's put it back. 772 00:41:58,120 --> 00:41:59,530 Oh, well, this still isn't working. 773 00:41:59,570 --> 00:42:00,820 So could we try it? 774 00:42:00,820 --> 00:42:04,230 And it seems to have been this conversation, this tango, 775 00:42:04,870 --> 00:42:08,550 um, as opposed to, you know, the, I am God, um, 776 00:42:08,905 --> 00:42:11,195 We've talked about this on Pocket Dimension Live as far as 777 00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:15,235 like our GM styles of like the, do we believe that we are God? 778 00:42:15,235 --> 00:42:20,165 Or is it a conversation between, you know, you and your players to effectively 779 00:42:20,345 --> 00:42:22,155 communicate rulings and decisions? 780 00:42:22,155 --> 00:42:25,435 And at the end of the day, you are the, you know, referee. 781 00:42:25,455 --> 00:42:29,695 And so you, it does come down to the GM to make that decision, but 782 00:42:29,695 --> 00:42:31,155 they're not making it in a vacuum. 783 00:42:31,165 --> 00:42:34,885 They're making it in the context of the table with the rule of cool. 784 00:42:35,395 --> 00:42:37,525 Um, you know, and things like that. 785 00:42:37,565 --> 00:42:38,065 So that. 786 00:42:38,565 --> 00:42:39,795 You know, and that's the thing. 787 00:42:39,795 --> 00:42:42,325 So, like, when we talk about respect, and when we talk about learning 788 00:42:42,325 --> 00:42:45,415 styles, so the couple of GM's that I can think of off the top of my head 789 00:42:45,415 --> 00:42:49,365 that we played with a Gen Con that did not do things my preferred way. 790 00:42:49,395 --> 00:42:51,115 My preferred way being drop us in. 791 00:42:51,115 --> 00:42:51,595 Let us play. 792 00:42:51,595 --> 00:42:55,165 I'll ask you questions as we go with, like, a little bit of context up front. 793 00:42:55,165 --> 00:42:58,605 I don't need to go into it completely cold, but I don't need an hour 794 00:42:58,605 --> 00:43:00,445 long lecture ahead of time either. 795 00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:01,865 There's middle ground for me there. 796 00:43:02,165 --> 00:43:03,225 So I would love, like. 797 00:43:03,615 --> 00:43:07,985 15 minutes of, like, basics, like, these are the big kind of high 798 00:43:07,985 --> 00:43:10,935 level macro things and then, like, the little squirrely things we'll 799 00:43:10,935 --> 00:43:12,095 get into when we start playing. 800 00:43:12,105 --> 00:43:15,855 That's, that's my, but that does not mean that I don't respect the 801 00:43:15,855 --> 00:43:21,175 GMs that we had that did prefer to I'm going to give you a monologue 802 00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:22,690 Matt: Because that works for them. 803 00:43:22,775 --> 00:43:23,245 AK!: them. 804 00:43:23,295 --> 00:43:23,665 And I. 805 00:43:24,395 --> 00:43:25,935 And I bet there are people at the table. 806 00:43:25,935 --> 00:43:28,355 I mean, that we, I'll, I'll go ahead and call them out. 807 00:43:28,655 --> 00:43:32,905 Our Daggerheart GM, like, put a lot of thought into what, into how he explained 808 00:43:32,905 --> 00:43:36,975 it and learned as he went that he had kind of a mixed bag at the table that 809 00:43:36,975 --> 00:43:39,475 he had some of us who were really, really familiar with the system and 810 00:43:39,485 --> 00:43:41,395 had played it and had even GMed it. 811 00:43:41,395 --> 00:43:44,175 And then we did have some people at our table that were completely 812 00:43:44,175 --> 00:43:45,435 fresh, had never played it. 813 00:43:45,495 --> 00:43:45,775 I don't 814 00:43:45,810 --> 00:43:47,580 Matt: never played an RPG before. 815 00:43:47,755 --> 00:43:49,485 AK!: had never, this was their first day on earth. 816 00:43:49,865 --> 00:43:52,705 They came to us from Mars and no, just kidding. 817 00:43:52,715 --> 00:43:54,055 They were lovely, lovely people. 818 00:43:54,345 --> 00:43:58,795 And maybe they appreciated the like, slow, we're going to take our time. 819 00:44:00,425 --> 00:44:05,315 Um, you know, so I, I respect that, you know, much more than 820 00:44:05,315 --> 00:44:07,455 even if I don't choose that. 821 00:44:07,495 --> 00:44:10,115 And that's, you know, definitely what we're trying to say here. 822 00:44:10,515 --> 00:44:13,695 When we have conversations about fairness and respect and stuff like that. 823 00:44:13,870 --> 00:44:14,240 Matt: Yeah. 824 00:44:15,515 --> 00:44:19,315 AK!: is, you know, you can disagree with someone or something or say, 825 00:44:19,315 --> 00:44:20,345 that's not how I would do it. 826 00:44:20,355 --> 00:44:22,455 But I respect that that's how your brain works. 827 00:44:22,465 --> 00:44:23,375 And that's how you do it. 828 00:44:24,290 --> 00:44:32,570 Matt: There is, for me, a finite amount of trust and second chances. 829 00:44:32,815 --> 00:44:33,955 AK!: Yeah, oh, for sure. 830 00:44:34,860 --> 00:44:43,160 Matt: I get to a point, it really, I mean, you have to be terrible to me for 831 00:44:45,250 --> 00:44:46,170 30 years. 832 00:44:46,830 --> 00:44:49,750 You have to be terrible to me to, 833 00:44:49,980 --> 00:44:51,480 AK!: my stopwatch started yet? 834 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:51,770 Or? 835 00:44:54,125 --> 00:44:59,735 Matt: You I give many, many, many, many chances, but eventually I will 836 00:44:59,735 --> 00:45:07,305 say, okay, it's either me, it's either protecting myself, or, and, uh, for 837 00:45:07,305 --> 00:45:12,465 example, Wizards of the Coast, I don't, the thing that they've got going for them 838 00:45:12,505 --> 00:45:16,105 is, you know that there's two different 839 00:45:17,140 --> 00:45:17,500 AK!: Camps. 840 00:45:18,005 --> 00:45:18,535 Matt: Camps. 841 00:45:18,585 --> 00:45:19,345 at play. 842 00:45:19,385 --> 00:45:21,275 Well, there's two different camps, for sure. 843 00:45:21,275 --> 00:45:27,365 And then there's two different, you know, creators. 844 00:45:27,970 --> 00:45:28,900 at work here. 845 00:45:28,910 --> 00:45:32,680 You've got the people who are creating the game and designing 846 00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:36,260 the game, and then you've got the people who are creating the brand and 847 00:45:36,470 --> 00:45:36,950 AK!: hmm. 848 00:45:36,950 --> 00:45:37,329 Mm 849 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:43,386 Matt: doing a horrific job over and over and really really abusing 850 00:45:43,386 --> 00:45:45,376 that trust And it's so sad to watch. 851 00:45:45,396 --> 00:45:50,306 Like, that is my biggest takeaway of any of the Wizards of the Coast Hasbro scandal 852 00:45:50,306 --> 00:45:54,346 is, is why can't someone stop them? 853 00:45:54,576 --> 00:45:57,006 Because it is a finite thing. 854 00:45:57,066 --> 00:46:01,276 And you will, you will lose. 855 00:46:01,296 --> 00:46:03,456 I just don't see how they're going to 856 00:46:04,036 --> 00:46:04,346 AK!: Yeah. 857 00:46:05,046 --> 00:46:09,676 Matt: eventually lose if they don't watch it. 858 00:46:09,676 --> 00:46:12,096 Because it's not small things. 859 00:46:12,306 --> 00:46:13,126 It's big things. 860 00:46:13,136 --> 00:46:15,686 It's Big, It's big dumb, big, dumb 861 00:46:15,826 --> 00:46:16,676 AK!: dumb things. 862 00:46:17,066 --> 00:46:22,106 And then watching them continuously walk them back and be like, we didn't know. 863 00:46:22,106 --> 00:46:23,606 And it's like, at what point do you not? 864 00:46:24,481 --> 00:46:24,771 Ask! 865 00:46:25,181 --> 00:46:25,491 Dummies! 866 00:46:25,891 --> 00:46:26,181 Just ask! 867 00:46:26,271 --> 00:46:27,261 Matt: so true. 868 00:46:27,561 --> 00:46:28,531 AK!: All you gotta do is ask! 869 00:46:28,531 --> 00:46:30,231 There are millions! 870 00:46:31,181 --> 00:46:34,671 I can kind of understand for the smaller creators that may not have the 871 00:46:34,671 --> 00:46:39,631 pool to ask, but that's why there's kickstarters and alphas and betas 872 00:46:39,631 --> 00:46:43,851 and otherwise, but for something like Hasbro and Wizards of the Ghosts, ask! 873 00:46:44,561 --> 00:46:46,731 You could very easily put out a survey. 874 00:46:46,761 --> 00:46:49,861 Do you want access to both 2014 and 2024? 875 00:46:49,861 --> 00:46:50,251 Discuss. 876 00:46:50,291 --> 00:46:52,451 And then to constantly, Oh, we didn't know. 877 00:46:52,871 --> 00:46:54,131 We thought we were so excited. 878 00:46:54,131 --> 00:46:55,161 We got swept away. 879 00:46:55,201 --> 00:46:57,051 No! 880 00:46:57,251 --> 00:46:58,601 Matt: No, I I 881 00:46:58,951 --> 00:46:59,541 AK!: time, y'all. 882 00:47:00,181 --> 00:47:02,431 Matt: No, it's it's a hundred percent true. 883 00:47:02,431 --> 00:47:08,051 And that's and Because that's so see through and so ridiculous like there's 884 00:47:08,061 --> 00:47:15,151 no possible way that's where the respect also starts to erode and And 885 00:47:15,631 --> 00:47:18,791 AK!: What a time to, I'm just going to keep calling things the golden 886 00:47:18,791 --> 00:47:20,421 age and what a time to be alive. 887 00:47:20,751 --> 00:47:26,311 Because, you know, never before in the history has the connection between. 888 00:47:26,756 --> 00:47:30,336 Company and consumer been so immediate, right? 889 00:47:30,826 --> 00:47:33,616 Before we had to wait, you know, we had to put out press releases 890 00:47:33,616 --> 00:47:36,656 and wait for things to drop and see how the 1st week of sales did. 891 00:47:36,976 --> 00:47:41,326 And now that everything is digital, like, I am guessing just from the 892 00:47:41,336 --> 00:47:45,166 microcosm of the communities that I am a part of that was discussing this. 893 00:47:45,486 --> 00:47:48,506 There was a sweeping cancellation queue. 894 00:47:48,996 --> 00:47:53,746 I know a lot of people who did purely for show just so their, their cancellation 895 00:47:53,746 --> 00:47:56,036 was part of that queue making Wizards go. 896 00:47:56,036 --> 00:47:57,376 Well, okay. 897 00:47:57,416 --> 00:47:57,706 Okay. 898 00:47:57,706 --> 00:47:58,606 You can, you can have both. 899 00:47:59,256 --> 00:48:03,046 Um, but it's the, I don't ever fault people for making a mistake. 900 00:48:03,096 --> 00:48:05,986 I don't ever fault people for walking it back and asking forgiveness, 901 00:48:06,686 --> 00:48:11,166 but the playing dumb part is wearing on my nerves a little bit. 902 00:48:11,686 --> 00:48:12,196 Matt: I, 903 00:48:13,236 --> 00:48:14,266 AK!: we didn't know. 904 00:48:14,886 --> 00:48:18,026 Matt: I, I do enjoy apologies. 905 00:48:18,586 --> 00:48:19,696 I do enjoy apologies. 906 00:48:20,086 --> 00:48:22,836 I don't I'm not saying that I have to have one, but it goes 907 00:48:22,836 --> 00:48:28,756 a long way to try to regain the respect because I make mistakes. 908 00:48:29,526 --> 00:48:31,106 And I apologize for things. 909 00:48:32,101 --> 00:48:35,585 And I feel like I know when I'm wrong, and if I don't and someone tells me, 910 00:48:36,055 --> 00:48:40,495 I may converse with them, but I'm not going to, you know, immediately 911 00:48:40,495 --> 00:48:41,885 say, you're wrong, go to hell. 912 00:48:42,085 --> 00:48:45,751 And I have too many people in my life that, that are like that, 913 00:48:46,521 --> 00:48:48,701 and I don't want that anymore. 914 00:48:49,511 --> 00:48:50,691 I don't want that. 915 00:48:50,711 --> 00:48:57,671 I want, I want to surround myself with people that can converse, that you, 916 00:48:57,811 --> 00:49:05,961 you can, you can give criticism to, and they, they, they don't feel Um, attacked, 917 00:49:07,001 --> 00:49:14,621 and there, there's an intelligent conversation going, and if, if either 918 00:49:14,631 --> 00:49:19,731 one of us does something that hurts the other's feelings, that there's, there's 919 00:49:19,761 --> 00:49:24,431 like, communication about it, and then there's apology if necessary, and then, 920 00:49:24,881 --> 00:49:31,731 you know, but, phew, I mean, I'm really coming out of an age where that is rare. 921 00:49:32,111 --> 00:49:33,171 I don't like it. 922 00:49:33,556 --> 00:49:34,946 AK!: It's Hate on the Boomers time! 923 00:49:35,406 --> 00:49:36,366 Boomers time! 924 00:49:36,366 --> 00:49:37,406 Boomers time! 925 00:49:37,436 --> 00:49:40,586 It's Hate on the Boomers time on ADHD20! 926 00:49:42,326 --> 00:49:43,286 But it's so true! 927 00:49:43,606 --> 00:49:48,256 I mean, because we, we both, I have a feeling, correct me if I'm wrong, 928 00:49:48,276 --> 00:49:51,006 but I have a feeling we both grew up in Because I Said So households. 929 00:49:51,186 --> 00:49:51,366 So 930 00:49:51,711 --> 00:49:52,611 Matt: Yes, We 931 00:49:52,616 --> 00:49:56,016 AK!: You know, and, and I think that that's what led our sweet little 932 00:49:56,026 --> 00:49:58,796 Gen X and Millennial hearts to, why? 933 00:49:59,676 --> 00:50:02,776 Like, because, because I said, so it's not an effective answer. 934 00:50:02,971 --> 00:50:05,821 Matt: not a good answer at all. 935 00:50:05,901 --> 00:50:11,261 And, and you shouldn't be punished for asking the why, you know, like, 936 00:50:12,501 --> 00:50:18,621 is there an aspect of my needing to try to understand, to reach out, 937 00:50:19,101 --> 00:50:24,131 to put myself into the shoes of I know you're just using this as a 938 00:50:24,371 --> 00:50:26,481 blanket example, but Boomers, right? 939 00:50:27,141 --> 00:50:35,051 I know that that is not true for every single person, but As a generation As, you 940 00:50:35,051 --> 00:50:39,821 know, Gen X generation, there, there are, there are certain traits, I think, that 941 00:50:39,831 --> 00:50:47,991 we share as a generation, but, you know, to, to look and to think about what Baby 942 00:50:47,991 --> 00:50:55,151 Boomer generation grew up with and were told and, and, you know, the relationships 943 00:50:55,151 --> 00:51:01,441 they have with things and money and, and being told what to do, you know, and 944 00:51:01,441 --> 00:51:08,051 what not to do and, the things that are important, I feel like, I don't know, I 945 00:51:08,051 --> 00:51:14,811 feel like I can put myself in those shoes, at least to the point, but the other 946 00:51:14,821 --> 00:51:17,281 half of it has to be some give and take. 947 00:51:18,611 --> 00:51:25,461 I feel like if I'm able to be empathetic, that I deserve Some empathy in return. 948 00:51:25,461 --> 00:51:28,601 And that just doesn't always come. 949 00:51:30,976 --> 00:51:38,536 AK!: the most spiritual, philosophical, and religious people, most intelligent, 950 00:51:38,666 --> 00:51:43,876 wisest people that I've ever known, one kind of shared trait. 951 00:51:45,461 --> 00:51:52,471 That I see a lot is the notion of if you're not questioning, fill in the 952 00:51:52,471 --> 00:51:54,071 blank here, you're doing it wrong. 953 00:51:54,821 --> 00:52:01,601 No, you know, like, no priest, no philosopher wants you to accept 954 00:52:01,601 --> 00:52:04,191 what they are telling you and just have it spoon fed into you. 955 00:52:05,116 --> 00:52:08,836 If they do that, they're not worth their, their what's called a 956 00:52:08,836 --> 00:52:10,486 dictator and that's a different kind 957 00:52:10,676 --> 00:52:11,486 of leadership. 958 00:52:11,856 --> 00:52:12,846 Um, Right. 959 00:52:12,846 --> 00:52:18,196 And so I think that, but and your point about the boomers, I think was beautifully 960 00:52:18,196 --> 00:52:21,226 made that they are a product of the generation who raised them and they had 961 00:52:21,226 --> 00:52:23,786 their own set of social norms and values. 962 00:52:23,786 --> 00:52:24,906 There comes that word again. 963 00:52:25,466 --> 00:52:29,746 And so that's why there was this just kind of, like, hierarchy of respect. 964 00:52:31,366 --> 00:52:33,916 And then because of the way that they were raised, that's how they are, 965 00:52:33,916 --> 00:52:38,146 then they raised us a different way, and that bred our innate curiosity. 966 00:52:38,266 --> 00:52:42,506 Where like, me saying, but why isn't me disrespecting you? 967 00:52:42,506 --> 00:52:46,096 It's me trying to involve you in a conversation. 968 00:52:46,766 --> 00:52:48,436 So I can better understand. 969 00:52:48,801 --> 00:52:49,121 Matt: Yeah. 970 00:52:49,121 --> 00:52:49,284 Yep. 971 00:52:49,861 --> 00:52:54,021 AK!: Um, and that's, that's what always pushed my buttons was like, that me 972 00:52:54,021 --> 00:52:56,301 questioning is a sign of disrespect. 973 00:52:56,921 --> 00:53:00,461 Um, and I, I now know as a middle aged woman 974 00:53:02,871 --> 00:53:03,281 that, 975 00:53:03,751 --> 00:53:04,221 Matt: Congrats. 976 00:53:04,371 --> 00:53:09,091 AK!: Thank you, that curiosity is anything but disrespectful. 977 00:53:10,451 --> 00:53:14,901 Matt: For someone who has never identified as a Christian, or really belonged 978 00:53:14,911 --> 00:53:17,511 to any official religion of any kind. 979 00:53:17,531 --> 00:53:28,081 I have a lot of friends who do prescribe to religion, and more than 980 00:53:28,081 --> 00:53:33,611 that, I know a lot of preachers and ministers and rabbis and every single 981 00:53:33,611 --> 00:53:36,531 one of them share that exact same thing that you're talking about. 982 00:53:36,531 --> 00:53:38,191 They are always questioning. 983 00:53:38,201 --> 00:53:41,981 And if you, again, I don't have to agree with you. 984 00:53:42,521 --> 00:53:44,241 I don't have to agree. 985 00:53:44,471 --> 00:53:49,561 But if you can say, either, here's my why. 986 00:53:50,151 --> 00:53:53,661 And, and, and, and speak it intelligently and clearly. 987 00:53:53,801 --> 00:53:57,041 Or, I'm searching for the why every day. 988 00:53:57,061 --> 00:53:57,641 Either one. 989 00:53:57,681 --> 00:53:58,701 You got my respect. 990 00:53:59,256 --> 00:54:04,396 You've got it, because I think, at the end of the day, good people are 991 00:54:04,396 --> 00:54:10,196 good people, and I feel like if I can have a conversation with you 992 00:54:10,196 --> 00:54:14,456 then, then I can respect you, easily. 993 00:54:15,046 --> 00:54:16,066 AK!: Why, Matt? 994 00:54:16,266 --> 00:54:19,816 Why, Such a good, it's such a good question. 995 00:54:19,926 --> 00:54:21,646 It's such a good question to ask. 996 00:54:22,081 --> 00:54:22,481 Matt: It really 997 00:54:22,626 --> 00:54:26,376 AK!: And whoever decided that it was a petulant, I mean, but that, like, 998 00:54:26,426 --> 00:54:30,546 going into petulance of it, like people associate it with toddler behavior. 999 00:54:30,776 --> 00:54:32,296 What are toddlers trying to do? 1000 00:54:32,366 --> 00:54:33,136 Understand? 1001 00:54:33,276 --> 00:54:38,436 Their brains are literally growing by the minute and they're trying, you know, 1002 00:54:38,436 --> 00:54:41,876 like, they're trying to understand. 1003 00:54:42,296 --> 00:54:43,556 And so they ask why a lot. 1004 00:54:43,696 --> 00:54:45,096 And I don't think that's a bad thing. 1005 00:54:45,511 --> 00:54:45,911 Matt: Mm mm. 1006 00:54:46,266 --> 00:54:47,756 AK!: It's maybe annoying, and It, 1007 00:54:47,756 --> 00:54:48,796 becomes a game to them at 1008 00:54:48,971 --> 00:54:50,011 Matt: yeah, it becomes a game 1009 00:54:50,216 --> 00:54:50,926 AK!: they're toddlers. 1010 00:54:51,826 --> 00:54:58,276 But, you know, I, I'm, I have no, I have no problem with, with it. 1011 00:54:58,326 --> 00:54:58,806 Matt: But even. 1012 00:54:58,816 --> 00:55:05,286 in their playing that game, they are testing boundaries, which is another 1013 00:55:05,286 --> 00:55:08,756 way of trying to figure out the why. 1014 00:55:09,256 --> 00:55:13,436 Like, why do my parents get annoyed if I ask the same thing over and 1015 00:55:13,436 --> 00:55:14,636 over and over and over and over? 1016 00:55:15,136 --> 00:55:15,496 AK!: Yeah. 1017 00:55:16,166 --> 00:55:18,236 The testing of the boundaries is how we all grow. 1018 00:55:18,406 --> 00:55:18,946 Matt: Yeah. 1019 00:55:19,716 --> 00:55:22,886 AK!: It's how we find which boundaries we want to stay in and 1020 00:55:22,896 --> 00:55:25,936 which ones we want to explore beyond. 1021 00:55:26,326 --> 00:55:26,826 Matt: Yeah. 1022 00:55:29,236 --> 00:55:30,366 AK!: Well, I think this is great. 1023 00:55:30,606 --> 00:55:33,466 I think this is a good little topic that we had about finding our why 1024 00:55:33,466 --> 00:55:36,906 and I mean, and that's exactly I think you're, you know, kind 1025 00:55:36,906 --> 00:55:41,626 of like driving value is usually around, like, accessibility, equity, 1026 00:55:41,636 --> 00:55:44,406 equality, you know, like, fairness. 1027 00:55:44,486 --> 00:55:46,586 I think that you're a very fair and just person. 1028 00:55:46,996 --> 00:55:49,006 Matt: I'm searching for it, at least. 1029 00:55:49,386 --> 00:55:51,386 I want, I want to find it. 1030 00:55:51,556 --> 00:55:54,146 I want to find the fairness. 1031 00:55:54,796 --> 00:56:02,026 You know, I may be chaotic, at times, and maybe that's even more, You know, 1032 00:56:03,346 --> 00:56:06,066 personal than, than outwardly chaotic. 1033 00:56:06,106 --> 00:56:06,486 But. 1034 00:56:07,676 --> 00:56:07,976 AK!: and 1035 00:56:08,131 --> 00:56:10,561 Matt: I am trying to find the good in everybody. 1036 00:56:10,561 --> 00:56:11,851 I'm trying to find the good. 1037 00:56:11,851 --> 00:56:12,441 I'm trying to 1038 00:56:14,046 --> 00:56:14,196 AK!: You 1039 00:56:14,196 --> 00:56:14,436 know, 1040 00:56:14,501 --> 00:56:15,181 Matt: that balance 1041 00:56:15,236 --> 00:56:18,476 AK!: We focus on the things that we can. 1042 00:56:19,331 --> 00:56:20,831 Um, so 1043 00:56:21,171 --> 00:56:21,581 Matt: Yeah. 1044 00:56:21,581 --> 00:56:24,981 yay. 1045 00:56:25,291 --> 00:56:27,591 AK!: not fair how much fun I have doing this podcast 1046 00:56:27,641 --> 00:56:28,311 Matt: I know. 1047 00:56:28,731 --> 00:56:29,171 I know. 1048 00:56:29,171 --> 00:56:29,591 It's true. 1049 00:56:29,591 --> 00:56:30,501 It's not fair. 1050 00:56:31,461 --> 00:56:32,121 AK!: but it sure is 1051 00:56:32,151 --> 00:56:33,351 Matt: But I respect it. 1052 00:56:33,571 --> 00:56:34,541 AK!: I respect it. 1053 00:56:34,601 --> 00:56:39,481 Matt: And every, every single time I wonder why this podcast exists. 1054 00:56:40,831 --> 00:56:49,231 Uh, we do a, we do an episode of it and I, and I remember why, so how nice, 1055 00:56:49,291 --> 00:56:51,171 AK!: And I think our community thinks the same thing and then they 1056 00:56:51,171 --> 00:56:52,461 listen to it and they're like, oh, 1057 00:56:53,201 --> 00:56:53,681 Matt: yeah. 1058 00:56:53,945 --> 00:56:59,195 Uh, our community also thinks that we should end this podcast 1059 00:56:59,195 --> 00:57:02,665 in, in, a definitive way. 1060 00:57:02,895 --> 00:57:04,435 AK!: It's over. 1061 00:57:04,735 --> 00:57:04,855 Matt: It's over. 1062 00:57:04,855 --> 00:57:07,495 Ha ha ha ha ha. 1063 00:57:07,495 --> 00:57:10,135 Ha ha ha ha ha. 1064 00:57:11,485 --> 00:57:12,485 AK!: I'm down for that. 1065 00:57:12,695 --> 00:57:14,056 Matt: Great, great. 1066 00:57:14,275 --> 00:57:15,475 AK!: Crash on every boy. 1067 00:57:15,998 --> 00:57:19,883 Matt: ha ha ha ha. 1068 00:57:19,945 --> 00:57:20,395 AK!: Cerebellum'd. 1069 00:57:21,275 --> 00:57:22,985 Could you throw me a juice box? 1070 00:57:23,015 --> 00:57:24,185 Maybe a Lunchable? 1071 00:57:24,738 --> 00:57:26,681 Matt: Oh my 1072 00:57:26,845 --> 00:57:27,645 AK!: That's one of them. 1073 00:57:27,705 --> 00:57:27,985 Cerebellum'd. 1074 00:57:27,985 --> 00:57:32,095 Arrow'd. 1075 00:57:32,095 --> 00:57:37,453 You're doing a great job! 1076 00:57:37,453 --> 00:57:39,955 Great job! 1077 00:57:40,745 --> 00:57:42,405 Matt: always loved Stuck him to the heavens. 1078 00:57:42,425 --> 00:57:43,725 Stuck him to the heavens. 1079 00:57:47,100 --> 00:57:49,820 I'm going this way. 1080 00:57:50,935 --> 00:57:51,425 AK!: What's that? 1081 00:57:51,995 --> 00:57:55,095 We're just gonna sing y'all out with Homestar. 1082 00:57:55,525 --> 00:57:56,995 Other quotes from now on. 1083 00:57:57,050 --> 00:57:57,930 Matt: Oh, man. 1084 00:57:58,850 --> 00:57:59,380 Yeah. 1085 00:57:59,445 --> 00:58:01,775 AK!: I feel like we need the like, whatever the ADHD version, 1086 00:58:01,785 --> 00:58:03,415 it's never over with ADHD. 1087 00:58:03,435 --> 00:58:05,075 It's always just beginning. 1088 00:58:05,425 --> 00:58:07,405 So we don't need to say like, it's over. 1089 00:58:07,715 --> 00:58:09,835 We need to say like, and we're just getting started. 1090 00:58:09,835 --> 00:58:12,205 We're, 1091 00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:13,360 Matt: see you next time. 1092 00:58:13,665 --> 00:58:15,665 AK!: scratched the surface. 1093 00:58:19,845 --> 00:58:20,995 And so it begins. 1094 00:58:21,715 --> 00:58:22,115 Matt: it begins. 1095 00:58:24,445 --> 00:58:24,945 Yeah. 1096 00:58:25,475 --> 00:58:25,835 Good. 1097 00:58:28,405 --> 00:58:28,765 Okay. 1098 00:58:29,385 --> 00:58:30,225 AK!: Good talk, everybody. 1099 00:58:30,465 --> 00:58:30,715 Matt: Yeah. 1100 00:58:30,715 --> 00:58:31,455 Good talking to everybody. 1101 00:58:31,785 --> 00:58:32,165 Yeah. 1102 00:58:32,205 --> 00:58:36,005 I, we, I really do want to try to end this one with it's over. 1103 00:58:36,025 --> 00:58:37,375 So I'm just going to stop this.