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A year and a half ago, we risked it all and moved to France. We'll

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be sharing about our life abroad, how people could do hard things to transform

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their own lives and everything in between. This is Sophie and

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Jordan Epton. Welcome to the Away We Go We Go podcast.

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Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Away We Go We Go

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podcast. Have you ever thought about what it would really be like to

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pack up your entire life, kids, pets, memories and

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all, and move across the world for a brand new chapter of life?

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Today, I am thrilled to welcome Erin Alba, a fellow

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expat who just made the leap with her family from California all the way

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to Provence just three months ago. We thought

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Erin's story would be so unique for the podcast because it's really rare

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to find someone brave enough to share their journey this early. And you guys, she

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is raw, vulnerable, and incredibly honest about what her

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life has been like in France thus far. From the excitement of

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chasing a long held dream, to the real grief of leaving

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behind a beloved home and community, to the messy, emotional

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and very real realities of settling into a new life abroad,

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this conversation has it all. In our chat, we dive into how

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travel and family shaped her decision to move, the roller

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coaster of emotions that come with uprooting everything, and what she's

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learning as she builds a brand new life in Provence. We also talk about her

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dreams for the future and how she's chronicling her journey through her

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substack Chasing Provence. I know that you're going to find so much

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courage and clarity in Eryn's story and maybe even some inspiration

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for yourself if you've ever thought about making a bold leap yourself.

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So without further ado, Eryn, welcome to the podcast.

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So I am sitting here with Erin Alba,

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who is a fellow expat, and

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she and I have been dming for a while on Instagram

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and we both thought this would be an amazing idea to have her on

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because she's actually being very brave today. She

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just moved here not even three months ago, at the end of

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May of 2025, and she moved with her

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husband, her two young children, and her three

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cats all the way from California to Provence. And so

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we have her very fresh, very,

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maybe we'd say raw, to give us a really

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wonderful perspective. And Erin, I have to say

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I am so impressed that you would do this

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because when we first moved here, we were in

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no state to talk about our lives

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and to, you know, really get into it because it was such

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a crazy time for us, moving with our twins and just getting settled

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and so I'm really excited that you're here today. I'm so

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excited to have you tell us all about your story, the ins and

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outs, and just really explore

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the real. I think this is going to be a very real, honest, amazing

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podcast today. So welcome. Thank you so much for having me. And I definitely.

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I think you're right. In the back of my mind, I'm like, am I insane?

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Because this is such a fragile time. I can't promise at one point I won't

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get emotional. Oh, that's fine. Get emotional. We're all good. It is.

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It's such a. I think it's such a raw moment in time because

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it's just so real, and I've been stripped of anything that's

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familiar. And so you really kind of get down to those really honest

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emotions and honest experiences as well. So. Yeah. Thank you.

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I'm excited to share. Yeah. So I know that you just

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moved from California because that's how we first connected. Because I always say it's like

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the one place I would still consider living in the US

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But I have a love affair with it. But. So tell me just more about,

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you know, where you grew up, like, what was your life like in the US

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like, talk me through all that. I was born in Northern California, San Francisco.

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And they don't lie when they said that you leave your heart in San Francisco

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because there's such a, there's such a piece of me that is. It's

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just. I'm so peaceful there. So. Grew up in Northern California. It went to

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public high school, went to state college. You know, pretty. Pretty formulated,

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one could guess, you know, for living in the States. After college, John and I,

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my husband, now my husband, moved to Southern California, and my

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parents were in Carlsbad, so we got to do the whole Southern California thing. And,

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you know, California is so great because it lends to. Lends you so many different

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environments. You can be in the mountains, in the ocean, the desert. You can be

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in the city, in the suburbs. There's so much to do

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just in one state that you really kind of feel like it's a treat. And

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so you really have to push yourself to go out and, you know, see other

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things, other states, because, of course, there's other beautiful places in the world. But

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growing up in California was amazing because I had to get, I got to do

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all this adventure just in my state. Wine country, you know, the

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rivers and Yosemite, you know, all these wonderful, amazing places.

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So we eventually purchased a home in Northern California, in

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Sacramento. And that's where most of our friends and other family members were.

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And at the time, we were thinking about having a family. And although we did

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move before we got engaged or right after we got engaged, so we wanted to

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kind of settle down where everyone else kind of doing the same thing. It was

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kind of on the same season of life as we were. So we eventually bought

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a house in Land park, which is a lovely. A lovely place. And in a

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way, it's actually very European. European because you can walk everywhere. You

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can walk to the park, you can watch the grocery store, you can watch the

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coffee shop, the post office. There was a train that took you into Midtown Sacramento,

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which was really rare because in the US Public transportation

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is not in the forefront. You don't get those. You have to drive

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everywhere. And we still did have to drive, but we were very lucky to position

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ourselves in a beautiful neighborhood with mature trees and be walkable to so many

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amenities if we absolutely needed to. So that was unique and felt very European for

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us, which was perfectly fitting. So. And I think if San Francisco

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wasn't so obnoxiously expensive at the time,

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we probably would have went, but we were not going to have the space

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to really stretch our, you know, our legs out and be able to go do

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the things we wanted to do because it was just so out of reach and

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we didn't. And we wanted to travel, so we didn't want to spend all the

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money on the house and not be able to go travel. And that was. That.

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The fear of that was like, okay, no, let's find a house. Let's be comfortable,

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and we can still go do all the traveling, and we can always go to

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the city for, you know, long stints at a time. So, yeah,

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Northern California, that's a piece of my heart, always.

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It's, I know, it's. There's something about it. It's really funny

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because, like, when my parents will go back to the States and

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they'll, like, they'll complain sometimes if they're going to kind of

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more like Midwest areas about, like, just the quality of food, of course, is

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different. But I'm like, I just get so spoiled because I go back

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to California so much for work, and I'm like, this is like, where like,

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70% of the produce is grown. And the diversity

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of the food is so good. Yeah, the diversity of food, too, is

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fantastic. And I mean, that's, you know, it's.

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We'll touch more on this, but it is. It's like, really incredible that you did

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make the leap, like, having such a beautiful life in such a

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beautiful state and. But just obviously, like the pole. So

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I want you to talk a little bit more about just

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how you landed on this decision. I know,

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and I want to link this also for our audience, but I know that you

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planned this amazing wedding in Tuscany for you and John.

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But tell me more about just, like, your ties to Europe and what kind of

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started this idea for you of wanting to move abroad. Growing up,

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my growing up, my mom actually had the chance to live in Osaka,

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Japan, in her 20s, and she was fully fluent in

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Japanese. And I always thought that was just absolutely amazing. And

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she was in her twenties. She was, you know, young, working, career woman, and had

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this amazing opportunity. And she always told me as a

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young girl, you know, if you have the opportunity to go live in another country,

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go do it, do it married, do it single, do with your kids, do it

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without your kids. You will have. You will widen your perspective

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on living on the way you want to live, on the knowledge

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of yourself. And so she always shared that with me, and I always thought that

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was so brave of her to go do that. And she was from a very

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humble military family, so they didn't grow up with a lot.

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And so for her to go off and have this experience for three years by

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herself being 20, I thought was just so amazing. And I think the

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curiosity of travel has always been with me. You know, as a little girl,

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you had friends saying they wanted to be veterinarians and doctors or

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nurses. But to be honest, I wanted to be like the female version of

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Indiana Jones. And I always happen to laugh about that. And I just, you know,

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I wanted to discover pyramids and find skeleton keys to gardens and, you know, like,

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turbines off a chateau. Like, I mean, I think there's always been this, like,

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storybook thing going on in my mind as a little girl. So naturally,

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I think adventure in some way was always going to be in my future. I

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just didn't know how that was going to land, you know, and then obviously,

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being a young professional and then being engaged and having these

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opportunities to go travel, a lot of my friends traveled to Europe

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many times before I finally got the chance to. I actually only have been to

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Europe for the first time in 2016. So if you look at the timeline of

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my life, yeah, that's actually still pretty fresh. Compared to my age,

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I'm 36. And compared to

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many people who had traveled throughout their youth, you know, and had these

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experiences, travel, you know, studied Abroad and never did that. So I had just

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been to Europe. In 2016, John and I decided to go for two months and

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backpack to Europe. Well, I mean if you're going to do it, that's the way

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to do it, right? Yeah, yeah. So we've been together for nine years and so

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we decided to go back and forth before we got like a big head job

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so, you know, and get really tied down to pto. And so we

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went and he knew that my dream was to always eventually like you know, fly

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my parents out to Europe and you know, show them this, this amazing, you know,

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different places. And they had never been to Europe besides, my mom had been to

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Japan in her 20s, but that's the only time she had done any international travel.

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And so I'm kind of fast forwarding over a couple of timeline things, but

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it's important to establish the fact that when we were in Paris over Easter,

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we went for a picnic. It was like our one day we decided we were

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going to get dressed up, sleeping, packing through Europe. So I was like, let's go

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one day, let's do Easter because everyone around us will be dressed up in Paris.

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Like how magical pack of picnic. We'll go to the park by the Avatar and

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we'll get one good photo of ourselves to monument, you know, this amazing

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backpacking trip. Because most of the time I was not, you know, photo

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worthy. You know, like nowadays Instagrammers, you know, they're all got their

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outfits all set up right. Rights, it was, it was very different. I was

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genuinely, honestly just enjoying each moment in

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different countries and just really soaking in the experience. It wasn't his

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Instagram heavy back then and so. But I did want to have this one

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picture. Well, of course what I didn't know is that John was going to

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propose and I basically set up the whole day for him because we took the

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tripod and the camera and he turned the shutter speed on high

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and we go to take our photo and he's like, oh, let me go just

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check the lighting or whatever made an excuse. And I see him walking back with

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a little box and I'm thinking, oh my God, like I feel like I

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blacked out a little bit, to be honest. You probably did. I didn't

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even hear what he was saying. Like I blacked out because I couldn't imagine that

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happened. And I just remember him telling me like, not only am I in love

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with you, but in love with your family. And like a movie scene, like

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I could have not made this up better. It started to pour

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rain. I mean, the. I don't know what happened, but

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it was pouring and everybody was running from the park. No one came

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prepared. It was not supposed to be a rainy day. And we sat on this

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bench. I don't know why I had an umbrella. I don't, baby,

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because I'm over prepared. And had one in my bag. But we sat under this

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Brella and soaked in this moment and just felt

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like, oh, my gosh, like it's been nine years together. And so that was very

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special. And so of course, that's us again. Like me getting to experience Europe

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for the first time. And what really topped it off is the next day he's

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like, we have to go to this cafe. It's an amazing cafe. And I walk

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in and my parents are sitting there in this cafe in Paris.

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I was in shock. I said, oh, my gosh, what are you doing here? And

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they were there to celebrate our engagement. He knew this was so important to

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me. It was such an emotional moment for everyone. And we ended up spending a

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week in Nice. It's a beautiful apartment together. And so they had this.

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And what I didn't know, he did such a good job. I mean, nine years

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together and he pulled this off. I'm still in awe about it.

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And what I didn't know is they got to spend a whole week in London

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leading up to meeting us in Paris. Oh, that's because he didn't know what he

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was going to propose. So they were on standby.

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Like ready to, like, take the child. Yeah, he's like, you know, fumbling with this

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ring, trying to keep it hidden for like six weeks, you know. So, you

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know, having that experience, obviously was. Was really wonderful. And

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we went home and of course we're on a high, but knew, I

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always knew that Europe was going to be in my future some

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way. I knew I wanted to have family there. I knew I wanted to have

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access to travel. And after that, two months, of course, you know,

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getting engaged was very special. But all those experiences during that time were just

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really monumental for me because I just felt. It's hard to

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explain. I just felt very calm, more inspired. I didn't feel as

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much anxiety. There wasn't much white noise and advertising and the

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pressure of just like meeting up. You know what they say, what's the term?

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Keeping up with the Joneses, you know? Yes. That doesn't really

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exist here, which is amazing. I came home just extremely inspired.

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We both did. And I knew instantly that we were not going to be

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of a couple that was going to get married in the U.S. it just we

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weren't fitting that we weren't ticking those boxes. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

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The great thing about the world is that there's something for everyone.

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And we were not a 300 person wedding. We just weren't. And we

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were financially going to be covering our wedding and we just knew that wasn't going

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to happen. And I wanted something adventurous and more intimate.

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And so that's when we decided that I was gonna plan

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and plus, I always had a passion for curating environments and events.

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And my background is interior design, architecture. That's what my degree is on.

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And so, My degree is in interior design. That's so funny.

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I have this already, this formula in my mind of how I function

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about being in a space and being in a different environment. But I love giving

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that back to people. It's just something I'm so passionate about and creating these

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experiences. So, long story short, I planned our wedding in

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Cortona, Italy, in Tuscany for 22 of our guests, for a whole week,

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for seven days. We got married in the middle of the week. I literally

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did the flow of the day. I mean, I had a full on spec binder

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of everything. And then my wonderful day of coordinator

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Francesca, who I hired because I couldn't be on the microphone

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cueing the violinist and then also walking down the aisle, you know, we had,

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we had a FaceTime and she's like, oh my gosh, Erin, what are you doing?

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You need to be doing this for the rest of your life. Like, are you

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kidding? I don't even feel like I should charge you. I said, no, Francesca, like

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I need you to be me, you know, here's the binder.

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So that ended up being a lifelong friendship with Francesca. And

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not only was it my wedding day, but it was probably one of the most

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proudest projects I've ever done because the guests at our wedding just

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say how amazingly beautiful their experience

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was in Tuscany. It wasn't just about our wedding day. They really got

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to experience the local chef and you know, museums.

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I really did off off the beaten passings. And they really felt like they

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got to experience a place, you know, through obviously the

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event of our wedding through that week. And we all connected. It was all like

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just a big happy family. And it just, it felt like one

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of those summer nights where you just end up on the patio having dinner till

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midnight and it just felt warm and perfect and you wake up to

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the kitchen a mess and wine bottles empty and everyone's Just like happy

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and calm. And that's what it was. And it was just so perfect. And so

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that's kind of how we ended up, you know, planning our trip, you know,

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our wedding in Italy. And so there was. There was a

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lot of Europe and traveling in your world.

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And so, I mean, when you think about,

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you know, why you ended up in Provence, like, talk to

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me more about that and just, you know, why. Why this ended up being the

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place you wanted to move to. So every time John and I traveled, we'd

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always ask ourselves, is this the place we see ourselves? How do we feel, feel

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here? How do we fit in? And of course, there was many tempting, beautiful

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places. You know, you always see those jokes, like, I'll ask my vacation looking up

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apartments to buy and seeing if I can have my life here. You know, And

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I am definitely guilty of that. You know, I have in my mind, I have

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a Cotswolds cottage and bunnies running around. And I'm also like a young,

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hip, single, you know, professional London, you know, and then it's like. Then I have

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like my Parisian short bob in Paris, you know, like, it's like I have all

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these versions, but which one do I choose? You know? And so, you know,

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we always had a good laugh about it. Like, you know, we tried to lean

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into the community and not to do the touristy things because we really were trying

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sweet spot. So we got married, fast forward, and we knew

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we wanted to start a family, but we thought, okay, let's have one last freedom

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vacation before we lock ourselves down with kids. And no one knew Covid

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was happening at this point, by the way. So this is all pre Covid. You

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know, you need a mark on the timeline. Covid for everyone's going to be a

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good slash. So we decided to go to Greece with another couple, and it was

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great. And then at the end of the trip, everyone broke off into their own

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seven days, and we came to the south of France. And I had always had

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it on my list of places to go, so I just told you that. So

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we stayed in this cute little apartment at ecosorg. And it

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looked over at the little cathedral that's there in the center and the market

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down below. I mean, the shutters were flown open. You know, I bought my little

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market bag and, like, things were just perfect, right? And

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we had only been there maybe for four nights, and we were

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taking a walk and we just felt. It wasn't like fireworks went

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off. We just both felt so calm and so

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peaceful, and we were just Our minds had slowed down,

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our bodies had slowed down. It's when you come to Provence,

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then even the most stubborn person will eventually slow down.

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It just makes you slow down. I keep saying that,

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but I looked at John and I said, oh, my gosh, are you thinking what

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I'm thinking? He goes, this place is. There's just something about it. And I

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said, do you see yourself having a family here? Like, do you. Could. Could we

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do this? So we had this, like, really great kosher conversation.

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And for some reason, the night, the morning. The next morning, it was market day.

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And I woke up, and I don't know why, but I had this

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thought in my mind that just wouldn't leave, that I should check to see if

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I was pregnant. I don't know why. I cannot explain it.

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I just, like, it wouldn't. I just was like, do I check? Do I not

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check? Do I tell them that I think I am? Like, do I? Do I

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maybe not say anything in case I'm not. Like, I don't know. Like, you

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know, it was our first go at maybe being pregnant as a young married

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couple. So I was like, I don't know what I should do. So I finally

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told him. I was like, oh, I can't. It's not leaving my mind. I'm like,

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literally, it's bothering me now. Like, I can't function through the day, like, just thinking

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about it nonstop. So I was like, okay, I'm going to. I'm going to see.

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So we're sitting in this little apartment, and I said, he's. So I take the

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pregnancy test, and you wait a minute. And he's like, do you want to go

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look? I said, you know what? The woman always looks first. Why don't you go

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look? You know, here I am, like, passing off, and I feel like I'm going

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to throw up out of nervousness if he goes. And he's. Is. The same smile

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I saw on his face when he was approaching me in Paris for our engagement

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was the exact same smile I saw when he was coming out of the bathroom.

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And I knew instantly that it was positive. I knew that I was pregnant by

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seeing his face. Wow. And I just. He has a picture, and I'll have to

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share with you all these. I'm just, like, I completely

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shocked that it actually was positive. And so for

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us, that was a very pivotal moment. But it's important to call out that we

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had this very kosher experience and conversation the night before about

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how we felt, because why wouldn't we feel like that if it was reversed.

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Right. So you would, of course, felt like, this is a special place. You just

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found out. You just had, you know, you're pregnant with your first baby. And of

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course it's magical and. But we very much had that conversation

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before we found out that kind of important, you

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know, milestone in our life. We go home, I have a normal

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pregnancy, normal world, and then three weeks before my

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maternity leave, the whole entire world shuts down and it's Covid.

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So it was crazy. There was no one bringing us lasagna. I didn't have

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balloons in my room. Like, it was just wild.

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And everyone says, oh, you had a Covid baby. And I guess in the timeline,

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yes, that's true. But Fynn was very much planned and sought

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after Covid, however, was not planned, and we didn't plan to have

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a baby change plan a little bit. So we couldn't

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travel. We couldn't travel with a new baby. We were worried. We were

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always had Provence in the back of our mind. Like, was that place real? Did

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that happen? We were just yearning for that peacefulness again to go see if

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that was real. So we decided to. As soon as he

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turned 2, we, my husband got permission to work three months out of the

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south of France, and we booked an apartment and we went and lived in Issa

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Zorg for just shy of three months. With Fynn being two. I call it testy

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tooth. I don't like to call it terrible tooth, because I actually love, love H2.

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I might be crazy. 2. 2 was really cute. It was, like,

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wild. But that's when I really started to, like, love being around them

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because they were starting to, like, say sentences.

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In all the ways, but independent enough to, like, have little conversations with you and

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show you, like, their little personality. So for me, it was like a sweet spot.

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So I love too. So it was really special to get to spend that three

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months with Fynn. And we. We traveled. We went to Barcelona and Morocco and

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London, and we did all the things from our trip. And of course, we hit

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the ground running on research in Provence. We went out and looked at different regions,

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understood amenities, looked at different schools. I mean, we really tried to peel back the

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layers of what you see on Instagram or as a tourist.

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That's incredible. And it's something that, like, we've talked about so much

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on this podcast is, like, it's so important that you really do your research.

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You go and spend time in places you think you want to, and you think

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about, like, the real things, because it's not a vacation. It's. Yeah. If you have

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kids, where are they going to school? Where are the grocery stores? Where's the hospital?

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What's the cost of living? Like, you know,

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seriously, like, all the good things. Yeah. So I love that you

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did that. That was very sweet. So we came home. We had the wonderful three

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months. It came back, and I found out I was pregnant with my second. And

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at that, Covid

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had kind of cooled off, so things were a little bit more normal from what

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we had known life before COVID but we were used to being on Parent Island.

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We didn't have any extra outside help. So my husband was working

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all the time. I was, I was the forefront of the house and the kids.

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There was no time for creativity, no time for hobbies. Most of my

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friends were working full time, and it just was

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now a balance of, for him and I. We knew we

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wanted to go back there. We know. We knew that this was the part that

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we were going to have to start making monumental decisions in our

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everyday life to get us there full time. And an important

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piece of what I have to share also is because I knew Europe was always

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in my future in some way. I had started working on my dual citizenship

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with Italy many years prior to having children. Oh,

383
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amazing. It took 11 full years to

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do my full. From getting all the documents with my grandmother all the

385
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way to the point of actually, last fall, finally getting our

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Italian passport for both me and my children, which I call my golden

387
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ticket, because I knew that I wanted to be here with my family. I knew

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the visa process could be difficult, and I had this window of

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opportunity to go through the Italian 1948 law, which

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allows me to go not through the consulate, but to hire an attorney to represent

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us in the court of Rome. But you have to have all your documentation, which

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can take years. And then, of course, you have to wait for your appointment. And

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Europe is slower, so, you know, you have the

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offer. In Italy's even slower. So it was a, it

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was a lesson of patience. And so I had that going on in the background.

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And so with that had already been a good six, seven years already

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going. John and I were like, we have to set a date. Like, he looked

398
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at me, he's like, we have to just set a date. Like, how do you.

399
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How do you. You're at home in a house that you love,

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in a garden you grew with these beautiful memories of your children, a

401
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community that supports and loves you. How do you choose a

402
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day to literally just set it all free. It doesn't.

403
00:24:04,190 --> 00:24:07,110
I don't want to say there was just one conversation because I think we had

404
00:24:07,110 --> 00:24:10,830
been in conversation for so many years. And as our season

405
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of life slowly changed to being parents, that conversation

406
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switched to the point where we really had to ask ourselves what

407
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are the fundamental reasons why we would change what we love? Because

408
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not only were there things we didn't love in California, but there was things

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that we did love. And so we had to talk about that over and

410
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over again. Because when you do get this idea of like you're going to

411
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whisk your family off and in my case live in Provence and have

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this experience with my young children, it's easy to

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convince yourself that that's the right decision when you think about all the things you

414
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don't like back at home. But when you start to set the date and you're

415
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on the countdown and all of a sudden 80% of what you own is gone,

416
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you're signing your house over to someone else, you're saying goodbye to neighbors,

417
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all of a sudden all the first start turning into last, last

418
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Christmases last big birthday for Fynn in the backyard. You

419
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know, as a mother, all of a sudden this roots that we had made in

420
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California were slowly starting to become dismantled. And all of a

421
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sudden first we're now becoming less. And there's nothing more

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00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:16,040
sobering than realizing there is a date that you have to be on a

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plane on a one way ticket and that's it, that's. That is the end of

424
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the chapter that you chose to close. And it can be really intense. And I

425
00:25:23,420 --> 00:25:26,860
think people don't realize that there's a whole other grief portion to

426
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leaving your life that you know and that you built to go try

427
00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:35,140
a different one. For sure. I think something that Jordan and I talk about a

428
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lot is that when you make a move like this, it should never

429
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be because you're trying to run away from something, you're running

430
00:25:42,660 --> 00:25:46,380
towards something and if you're really running towards towards something, there's still so

431
00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:50,180
much that you leave behind. And like yeah, we had lived in our house

432
00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:54,020
for 10 years. It was where my kids were born. Like we technically got

433
00:25:54,260 --> 00:25:57,900
before Jordan and I went to Argentina to get married, we did a JP

434
00:25:57,900 --> 00:26:01,660
ceremony in our backyard. Like there's. Yeah, your house holds

435
00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:04,860
so many memories and like that's one of the hardest things I feel like probably

436
00:26:04,860 --> 00:26:07,340
to let go of. Yeah and I think for the house, for me it's such

437
00:26:07,340 --> 00:26:10,940
a choking point in my emotion because for especially having gone through

438
00:26:10,940 --> 00:26:14,320
Covid with A new baby. It was such a safe

439
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:18,200
place for us. I mean, we really. It was like, literally, they say,

440
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,960
the baby bubble. I mean, this was our bubble, like, to the max, the

441
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,800
max definition. So for me, letting go of it and

442
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:29,160
setting it free, as my neighbor told me so beautifully, because I just choke up

443
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:32,880
about it so much. It was such a tangible piece of my motherhood.

444
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,080
And in a way, it was me accepting that Fynn was eventually going to be

445
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,840
in kindergarten, that he wasn't going to be this tiny baby. And I was closing

446
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:43,560
this chapter that I felt so emotional about closing, thinking, like, like,

447
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,400
will his next room ever smell like him in the ways that I've had for

448
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:50,080
the last five years? You know, you start to realize, like, your

449
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,760
decisions you're making. And not that we ever doubted our decision. We were always

450
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:57,600
very confident in that France was going to be the end goal. But there

451
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,440
was, I think, a lot of us parents, especially as a mom, you know, grief

452
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,320
we had to work through. And. And some days we were like, there's no way

453
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,440
we can sell the house. We can't, we can't, we can't, we can't. And then

454
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,720
other days, like, well, we have to, like, there's just no way of having one.

455
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:13,560
When you do this. Some people have the privilege and opportunity to have

456
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,560
one foot in, one foot out, and that's amazing because you have that safety net.

457
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,440
But if you've done any research about buying property in

458
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:24,280
France and the process, you know that there's a lot that needs

459
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:28,040
to happen up front. And capital gain selling in the U.S. you know, it's kind

460
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,680
of sticky. So we didn't want to have to deal with losing the

461
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:35,400
equity on our home. Had we established residency after, you know,

462
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,840
selling it and then losing that, that. That equity difference. So we had to have

463
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:42,040
those really tough. No, that's a really good point. Now, that's also why,

464
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,840
like, we. We kept a rental in Austin, but it's going to be a rental

465
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,640
for a very, very long time. But our house, we felt that way. We're like,

466
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,320
we. Because of that reason. Like, if. So for anyone listening, if you don't know

467
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:57,600
if you sell your home and you at

468
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,400
that point have residency, at least in France, you have to pay

469
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,800
taxes not only in the US but in France as well. And it's the capital

470
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,740
gains percentage in France, so you're double landing.

471
00:28:07,740 --> 00:28:11,420
Yeah. Especially if they hadn't rolled off the capital gains

472
00:28:11,420 --> 00:28:15,020
threshold in California in particular. I know it's three years, so we had Already

473
00:28:15,020 --> 00:28:18,820
superseded that, but it was going to be close to 30% on the French side.

474
00:28:18,820 --> 00:28:22,620
And I was like, oh, that's the dream house money. You

475
00:28:22,620 --> 00:28:26,420
know, we gotta. I can't. We can't keep it for sentiment. But it was still

476
00:28:26,420 --> 00:28:30,260
a very difficult. In fact, even we ended up selling it off market

477
00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:34,180
to a lovely family, and it was the closest

478
00:28:34,180 --> 00:28:36,900
you could get to keeping it in the family. So that was a very beautiful

479
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:41,000
opportunity that we got. She kept Fynn's playhouse in the backyard. Wants him to be

480
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,000
able to come back and play. So I'm so immensely grateful for that because it

481
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,840
definitely helped that part of my heart heal in the sense of, like,

482
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,640
I could never come back or something. But even then, it was still an emotional

483
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,480
decision. And even going through the selling process was like, are we

484
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,120
doing this? And I have to sign. Oh, my gosh. Like, what are we doing?

485
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:00,360
You know, you kind of look at each other like, are you out of your

486
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,640
mind? Like, most of our friends are just trying to get the kids to sleep

487
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,760
on time and make soccer practice and do the school projects and, like, keep the

488
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:08,600
rhythm and go out to baby to go to the grocery store on the wrong

489
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,740
day, and they've been a nap, like, and we were blowing it up. We. We

490
00:29:11,740 --> 00:29:15,060
set it on fire. I mean, we set any rhythm, any

491
00:29:15,060 --> 00:29:18,660
normalcy. I mean, we burned it to the ground, and you burned the boat.

492
00:29:19,380 --> 00:29:23,140
And sometimes, like, we'll just be, like, walking, you know, I don't know, a

493
00:29:23,140 --> 00:29:25,860
co on at sunset, getting ice cream with the kids and even saying that loud.

494
00:29:25,860 --> 00:29:29,420
I'm like, what? You know, and. And we look at each other, we have a

495
00:29:29,420 --> 00:29:32,820
laugh because we're like, oh, my God. We don't have a house. We've sold

496
00:29:33,220 --> 00:29:37,020
literally 90% of what we own. Like, and I'll talk about this later, but my

497
00:29:37,020 --> 00:29:40,620
husband's French contract didn't come through 48 hours after we got here.

498
00:29:41,020 --> 00:29:44,780
So as of tomorrow, he won't have his job. So talk about. Oh, my

499
00:29:44,780 --> 00:29:48,620
God. We talk about possibilities of that happening. We prepared for the worst, you

500
00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:52,140
know, case scenario because you have to try and prepare as much as possible different

501
00:29:52,460 --> 00:29:55,500
scenarios that are going to happen when you show up. So, you know, you kind

502
00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:57,980
of look at yourself and you're really excited, but other times, you, like, look at

503
00:29:57,980 --> 00:30:00,740
yourself and you're like, look at each other. You're like, were we absolutely out of

504
00:30:00,740 --> 00:30:04,320
our minds? Like, just, does someone need to babysit us? Like, what were we

505
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,880
thinking? You know, I'm sure you can attest to. To that.

506
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:12,160
So I want you to talk a little bit more because I

507
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,920
feel like, obviously you talked a little bit about the visa process, because it's. You

508
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,160
kind of. What was nice is that you already had your, you know, family

509
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:23,560
because you. You got citizenship by, by this point, which is incredible,

510
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:27,400
because that just, like, bypasses. That bypasses so many things.

511
00:30:28,370 --> 00:30:31,970
So just in terms of, you know, the actual moving process

512
00:30:32,130 --> 00:30:35,730
and, and moving day, what was that like for you and your family?

513
00:30:35,890 --> 00:30:39,690
I think, because we do. It was coming for us once we

514
00:30:39,690 --> 00:30:42,850
set the date, and it was hard when. When someone asked, how did you choose

515
00:30:42,850 --> 00:30:45,930
what day? For us, it started? We tend to start looking at it from more

516
00:30:45,930 --> 00:30:49,650
of a formulative perspective, because if you look at from an emotional perspective, you

517
00:30:49,650 --> 00:30:53,450
probably would. You probably would have never left, because, you know, when you get

518
00:30:53,450 --> 00:30:56,360
emotional, of course you want to stay, right? Because

519
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,440
in our case, we didn't leave something that was broken. There were things

520
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:04,240
fundamentally that weren't matching how we saw how we wanted to build

521
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,400
our family. And those became really important through Covid.

522
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:11,600
Through political changes, through experiences we were having personally. And

523
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:15,400
of course, for me, Europe was always in the back of my mind, and then

524
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:19,040
finding a partner in life who agreed with a lot of the ways that

525
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:22,880
I saw my family and the way I saw myself thriving in that case or

526
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,720
each other. And so we decided, okay, let's try and get there the

527
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:30,200
spring before Fynn starts kindergarten, or in this case,

528
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:34,240
I think it's like senior preschooler. And then he'll graduate preschool, and we'll

529
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,880
move, and he'll feel like he was important, and he got to, you know, go,

530
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,880
you know, have his time before he starts. And at the time, Rue was just

531
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:45,200
on the eve of turning 2. She turns to June 3rd. We showed up May

532
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:49,120
23rd. So as far as experiencing a toddler in Europe in summer,

533
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:52,040
we had done it when Fynn was 2. So that was familiar to us. So

534
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:55,540
it made sense to do that, a new baby.

535
00:31:55,940 --> 00:31:59,620
And then my husband had just finished a year of intense

536
00:32:00,100 --> 00:32:03,900
work, so that was kind of coming up for airtime for us. And then obviously,

537
00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:07,460
in California, selling a house in the spring is ideal because

538
00:32:07,620 --> 00:32:11,460
that's just when the market opens, so we started to kind of line that

539
00:32:11,460 --> 00:32:15,140
up to be around springtime. So once we set that date,

540
00:32:15,220 --> 00:32:18,180
I think in the beginning, it was more of, like, just purging what we know

541
00:32:18,180 --> 00:32:21,940
we didn't need, like, the obvious things. And then it started getting down to,

542
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:25,740
all of a sudden, every weekend was having to just

543
00:32:25,740 --> 00:32:29,260
inventory our life in a physical sense. Like, what are we keeping? What are we

544
00:32:29,260 --> 00:32:33,020
getting rid of? But it was interesting because as a

545
00:32:33,020 --> 00:32:36,780
parent, we were maintaining a life we were building in

546
00:32:36,780 --> 00:32:40,260
California while building one that we wanted to go to at

547
00:32:40,260 --> 00:32:44,100
arm's range. So it was a very delicate balance of

548
00:32:44,100 --> 00:32:47,940
emotion and physical demands because Christmas was still

549
00:32:47,940 --> 00:32:51,610
upon me for them, you know, not packing, like, not separating them from

550
00:32:51,610 --> 00:32:55,330
having their holidays leading up to May. Right. Birthday was going to be in

551
00:32:55,330 --> 00:32:58,730
April. He was going to turn five. You know, we're going to have those buddies

552
00:32:58,730 --> 00:33:02,530
over. Was the whole house. Was I going to dismantle this room? Like, how

553
00:33:02,530 --> 00:33:05,770
am I going to get everything on a boat? The little things we got in

554
00:33:05,770 --> 00:33:09,570
time without stripping his room, you know, so it was like a very. For

555
00:33:09,570 --> 00:33:13,050
two years, I felt like delicately balance packing things the way we knew we wanted

556
00:33:13,050 --> 00:33:15,890
to keep it, labeling it, and then also getting rid of everything that we knew

557
00:33:15,890 --> 00:33:19,410
we weren't going to keep, but then also maintaining the environment for our children. I

558
00:33:19,410 --> 00:33:23,170
mean, it was like juggling balls. It was crazy. I throw my hat off to

559
00:33:23,170 --> 00:33:26,970
you because when we moved, our twins

560
00:33:26,970 --> 00:33:30,810
were 10 months old, so they didn't know anything about what was going on.

561
00:33:31,450 --> 00:33:34,650
And. Yeah. So I think that it was easier for us to sort of be

562
00:33:34,650 --> 00:33:38,450
like, you know, we like, moved into our rental house after we sold

563
00:33:38,450 --> 00:33:40,930
our house for like two months. But it's like they couldn't have cared. They were

564
00:33:40,930 --> 00:33:44,780
just learning to crawl. So I mean, that's amazing. Like, just. Just you're. Yeah,

565
00:33:44,780 --> 00:33:47,820
I didn't even think about that. Like, if your child is over the age of

566
00:33:47,820 --> 00:33:50,660
three and they really know what's going on, like, yeah, that's a lot to juggle.

567
00:33:50,660 --> 00:33:54,460
I've always been extremely aware of his environment, and I would love to say that

568
00:33:54,460 --> 00:33:58,300
it's because of all his traveling experience. When he had with two with

569
00:33:58,300 --> 00:34:02,020
us, we took him to four or five different countries during that

570
00:34:02,020 --> 00:34:05,620
three months we were there with him. And because I know he was very

571
00:34:05,780 --> 00:34:09,420
environmentally sensitive, like me, we started warming him up to the

572
00:34:09,420 --> 00:34:12,460
idea of moving to France. And do you remember going and having a great time

573
00:34:12,460 --> 00:34:16,080
and riding the little race cars in town and going to the market? So we

574
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,400
were very. We chose to be very inclusive of our

575
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:23,160
conversation with him. I think it's easy to think that if you're going to move,

576
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:26,800
maybe you just don't tell your kids last second, thinking they have no choice other

577
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:30,439
than to accept it. But for us, that. That wasn't really me and John's style.

578
00:34:30,439 --> 00:34:34,040
We really wanted to include him in the decision and we

579
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:37,600
didn't have to say, we're selling the house, it's never going to be yours. But

580
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:41,120
are you okay sharing the house? Can they take care of your garden for you?

581
00:34:41,530 --> 00:34:44,610
You know, are you excited about new school? You're going to kindergarten anyways. You can't

582
00:34:44,610 --> 00:34:47,490
stay where you're at. Everyone's going to be, you know, et cetera, et cetera. So

583
00:34:47,490 --> 00:34:51,290
we warmed him up to this idea and, and kids

584
00:34:51,290 --> 00:34:54,890
are so resilient. I mean, he was excited for the adventure they are.

585
00:34:55,130 --> 00:34:57,650
There was times, of course, he said he wanted he was going to miss his

586
00:34:57,650 --> 00:35:00,930
neighbors and some of his best buds. And then I told him, I said, that's

587
00:35:00,930 --> 00:35:04,610
the beauty of life in travel, is that you can still intentionally

588
00:35:04,610 --> 00:35:08,380
maintain those friendships and experiences and still go have this

589
00:35:08,540 --> 00:35:12,340
adventure and this new atmosphere. So I think leading

590
00:35:12,340 --> 00:35:15,460
up to, especially the day of our move, you know, we knew this day was

591
00:35:15,460 --> 00:35:19,140
coming. This is going to be, you know, very. Luckily the

592
00:35:19,140 --> 00:35:22,900
gal who bought our house wanted to buy a lot of my furniture. And

593
00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:26,460
so I got to keep the house for the most part, but very familiar for

594
00:35:26,460 --> 00:35:30,060
Fynn, which was very great. For me, that was like so

595
00:35:30,060 --> 00:35:33,420
amazing because the dining room looked the same, the living room looked the same.

596
00:35:33,740 --> 00:35:37,530
You know, it wasn't stripped and empty and hollow. You know, I mean, it was

597
00:35:37,530 --> 00:35:40,810
obviously very empty, but for the most part, things were still there.

598
00:35:41,050 --> 00:35:44,690
And I, if I didn't know it, if I was so naive

599
00:35:44,690 --> 00:35:48,370
before not to realize it so bluntly. All of our friends and

600
00:35:48,370 --> 00:35:51,650
our neighbors just kept showing up with

601
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:54,930
pizza and extra hugs and extra

602
00:35:54,930 --> 00:35:58,690
goodbyes and you know, I took out, took extra bags of

603
00:35:58,690 --> 00:36:01,410
just junk or trash from us and we were like, where did this stuff come

604
00:36:01,410 --> 00:36:05,220
from? Like, I just emptied this closet, you know, and they just kept showing

605
00:36:05,220 --> 00:36:08,980
up and loving us through. Probably the hardest part for John and I, when we

606
00:36:08,980 --> 00:36:12,780
really had to say goodbye. Don't want to get emotional, but you know,

607
00:36:12,780 --> 00:36:15,420
the more. The morning we had to go, it was a race to the airport.

608
00:36:15,420 --> 00:36:18,900
Of course there's still a million things we have to do. You know, it's just,

609
00:36:18,979 --> 00:36:22,460
it's just, it's just. It was like an Olympic race for us. It just was

610
00:36:22,460 --> 00:36:26,260
insane. Like no matter how much prepared preparation we did, they were still going to

611
00:36:26,260 --> 00:36:29,940
be last minute things. No, the reality, the reality of

612
00:36:29,940 --> 00:36:33,590
stepping on the flight

613
00:36:33,590 --> 00:36:37,030
and being like, this is it, we burned the boats. And you have everything

614
00:36:37,190 --> 00:36:40,630
essentially with you that you're moving with. And it's like, it's so

615
00:36:40,630 --> 00:36:44,190
Intense. There comes a point where the ship is going to

616
00:36:44,190 --> 00:36:47,510
leave and you're on it, and there is no

617
00:36:47,990 --> 00:36:51,590
going back, and there's no stepping back into that chapter

618
00:36:51,830 --> 00:36:55,350
in the capacity in which you were in it anymore. And we go to leave

619
00:36:55,350 --> 00:36:58,470
the house, we're packing the kids in the car, and all of our neighbors came

620
00:36:58,470 --> 00:37:01,550
to the front yard, and they were hugging us, and they ran down the street

621
00:37:01,550 --> 00:37:04,350
waving to us, and all of us. Oh, my gosh, that would be so hard

622
00:37:04,350 --> 00:37:08,190
to, like, leave at that point. The knot in my chest.

623
00:37:08,910 --> 00:37:12,350
Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I had to keep it together,

624
00:37:12,590 --> 00:37:16,390
because if Fynn saw me lose my mind, he would

625
00:37:16,390 --> 00:37:20,230
have lost his mind. But I think the love and support of our community that

626
00:37:20,230 --> 00:37:24,040
we had built there really carried John and I to that endpoint, to that last

627
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:27,120
day of that chapter in California. And I think we'll always be so grateful for

628
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,760
that. And they continue to send postcards to Fynn to

629
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,000
check in on us, to ask us how we're doing, to welcome us into their

630
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,360
homes if we want to come visit. And we're so grateful to have that support

631
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:41,040
system, because you really need it. When you strip yourself of your

632
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:44,800
community. You do. You really do. I think it's. And also, it's just

633
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:48,640
like, it's being really picky and choosy about who you're surrounding yourself

634
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:52,400
with, because everything is already so hard that

635
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:56,240
when you decide you want to make the move, like, you cannot be around naysayers,

636
00:37:56,240 --> 00:38:00,080
you cannot be around negativity. You need to be around people who lift

637
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,440
you up, who make you feel good, who are positive, because it's already hard. I

638
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:07,240
think it does. Especially. I feel like in some ways, like the husband,

639
00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:10,160
when you have kids, they kind of get to keep their friendships a little bit

640
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:13,760
steady. But as a mom, you know, especially having. After my second.

641
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,630
My second baby, it was a learning curve. But I think in the

642
00:38:17,630 --> 00:38:21,350
end, it was very good that I realized that sometimes

643
00:38:21,350 --> 00:38:24,430
old friendships are not going to match your new season of life, and that's okay.

644
00:38:24,430 --> 00:38:28,190
And you're watering dead plants, if you will, and you have to change and

645
00:38:28,190 --> 00:38:31,750
remove yourself from these toxic friendships or relationships that are not

646
00:38:31,750 --> 00:38:35,550
serving your family in the way that creates joy. And

647
00:38:35,550 --> 00:38:38,550
I get the seasons of life change for other people, it's not always going to

648
00:38:38,550 --> 00:38:41,630
be on the same beat, but you don't want to go home feeling bad about

649
00:38:41,630 --> 00:38:45,150
yourself as a mom, or go home and feel bad about not being able to

650
00:38:45,150 --> 00:38:48,910
have time with that friend. And so I think a revamping of that

651
00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:52,710
after my second Child was a big wake up call to really, like

652
00:38:52,710 --> 00:38:56,110
you said, finding your people, finding your community,

653
00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:59,950
that allows you to feel good about yourself and feel good about your decisions. Because

654
00:38:59,950 --> 00:39:02,830
at the end of the day, whether you're a working mom, a stay at home

655
00:39:02,830 --> 00:39:06,550
mom, whether you're a single mom, whatever version of that is for

656
00:39:06,550 --> 00:39:09,950
you in your life, you're just doing the best you can. And that's all that

657
00:39:09,950 --> 00:39:13,560
matters, that you're happy, that your children are happy, wherever that may

658
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:17,320
be, whatever version that is. We're all just trying to do our best

659
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:21,360
and serve our families in the way that we find joy. I mean, we

660
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,320
only get one life and John and I talked about this all the time. The

661
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:28,040
fear of staying in one spot was terrifying to us. You know, we had spent

662
00:39:28,599 --> 00:39:31,920
36 years in California and we did all the things with our kids, we did

663
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:35,080
the state parks, we did the, you know, all the trips and stuff, but we

664
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,840
were kind of feeling burnt out on it. We were feeling like we needed more.

665
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:41,340
And life started turning in into feeling like we were waiting. We didn't want to

666
00:39:41,340 --> 00:39:45,140
wait. We didn't want to wait for curbside pickup. We didn't want to wait for

667
00:39:45,140 --> 00:39:48,180
a fun Costco trip. We didn't want to wait for PTO holiday to come. We

668
00:39:48,180 --> 00:39:51,380
were feeling like, just like we were waiting. And it did. It wasn't enough for

669
00:39:51,380 --> 00:39:54,860
us. And not to make it sound like bougie or anything, but

670
00:39:55,180 --> 00:39:57,900
because when I said to people, oh, we want to go live in Europe, we

671
00:39:57,900 --> 00:40:00,220
want to travel with kids, we want to go do all these things, people are

672
00:40:00,220 --> 00:40:04,060
like, oh, well, that's cool. Like, of course. Why? Who wouldn't want to go? They

673
00:40:04,060 --> 00:40:07,910
whisk their kids off to Barcelona on the weekend and, you know, Paris on

674
00:40:07,910 --> 00:40:11,590
a Monday or whatever it may be, but for us, it was so important

675
00:40:11,590 --> 00:40:15,390
that they're culturally diverse that they eventually had a second, if not,

676
00:40:15,390 --> 00:40:19,190
if I'm lucky, a third language that they get to lean into being in

677
00:40:19,190 --> 00:40:22,950
different countries with that amazing opportunity to speak that language and

678
00:40:22,950 --> 00:40:26,630
connect with community on that level. And yeah, it was

679
00:40:26,630 --> 00:40:30,470
important that we got to be intentionally present with our

680
00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:34,150
children and not feel like we got. We were in a rut. For all

681
00:40:34,150 --> 00:40:37,790
intents and purposes, we felt stuck and we were not thriving and we

682
00:40:37,790 --> 00:40:41,590
didn't want to experience our childhood like that. So as

683
00:40:41,830 --> 00:40:45,390
many comfort levels as there were at home and as grateful as we were for

684
00:40:45,390 --> 00:40:48,710
our beautiful house, for our community, there was also a big part of us that

685
00:40:48,710 --> 00:40:52,190
felt like even though we earned it and we worked so hard for it. There

686
00:40:52,190 --> 00:40:55,870
was just so many versions that just weren't enough for us. Yeah. And

687
00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:59,540
that's okay to say. I think it's. Yeah, you're right. You have

688
00:40:59,540 --> 00:41:03,340
one life and you have to do whatever version of that looks and feels good

689
00:41:03,340 --> 00:41:06,900
to you, you have to do. I think having that honest conversation is

690
00:41:06,900 --> 00:41:10,700
probably the first hard part because you're admitting things that people

691
00:41:10,700 --> 00:41:14,539
might judge you on, you know, or that you feel like, well, oh, you're saying

692
00:41:14,539 --> 00:41:17,860
you're too good for to be here. You're just too, you know, or whatever that

693
00:41:18,260 --> 00:41:21,980
however they may receive that, you know, you can't. You can't own it. You

694
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:25,300
just have to know, like, the reason why you're coming, the fundamentals on why you

695
00:41:25,300 --> 00:41:28,410
want to be in that other place and, like, what's not working for you. And

696
00:41:28,490 --> 00:41:31,890
of course, we explored the option of, like, maybe husband working less. Like, was there

697
00:41:31,890 --> 00:41:35,570
something broken that we could have fixed in state and felt

698
00:41:35,570 --> 00:41:39,370
better? Like, so we explored that and that was all through communication, you know,

699
00:41:39,370 --> 00:41:42,930
having those honest and hard conversations. And sometimes we saw eye to eye and

700
00:41:42,930 --> 00:41:46,730
sometimes we didn't. But that's okay because I think that's also like, kind

701
00:41:46,730 --> 00:41:49,690
of going into, like a marriage like, you're not always going to be on. He

702
00:41:49,690 --> 00:41:53,140
had a very successful career agency company for 15 years.

703
00:41:53,300 --> 00:41:56,900
And I was feeling like I had been home with kids through Covid five

704
00:41:56,900 --> 00:42:00,660
years, burnt out, no creative business for myself and just feeling like, done.

705
00:42:00,660 --> 00:42:03,660
I don't want to have to do another Target pickup. That should not be my

706
00:42:03,660 --> 00:42:07,460
excitement for the week. I need more to be a good mom. I need more

707
00:42:07,460 --> 00:42:11,300
to be a good wife. What is this that I'm searching for? But fundamentally,

708
00:42:11,380 --> 00:42:15,020
it was. It was changing the atmosphere for our family, I think was the

709
00:42:15,020 --> 00:42:18,500
ultimate, you know, giving our kids that different type of childhood. Yeah,

710
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,600
I love that. We feel the same way. So now that

711
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:26,240
you've been here for. You're getting close to three months

712
00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:30,080
now. Yeah. What has it been like for you so

713
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,600
far? Yeah. And what's your whole experience

714
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:36,920
been? I think we talked about a little bit in the beginning, or you may

715
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:40,760
have mentioned it briefly about, you know, you show up to a new

716
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:44,480
place and you feel like you're on holiday and you feel very safe. And

717
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,160
like, you know, you. In the back of your mind, almost in your subconscious, you

718
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,820
have this safe landing place place. You show up with no safe landing

719
00:42:50,820 --> 00:42:54,180
place. And it doesn't feel like you did when you were on holiday. And I

720
00:42:54,180 --> 00:42:57,460
think that can be a very sobering experience. And so

721
00:42:57,940 --> 00:43:01,780
it got real, real very quickly. And I remember

722
00:43:01,780 --> 00:43:05,260
we, you know, finally landed in Marseille and we had a, a

723
00:43:05,260 --> 00:43:09,020
hotel just for the night, just to kind of decompress and off the big flight

724
00:43:09,020 --> 00:43:12,740
with the cats and the cats in the bathroom. It's 2am oh my gosh,

725
00:43:12,740 --> 00:43:15,940
the three cats in the bath, they were so soft. That was so sweet. You

726
00:43:15,940 --> 00:43:18,740
know, my. Luckily my mom flew with us so I had the support of her,

727
00:43:18,980 --> 00:43:22,700
which I'm so grateful for. If you have kids, like

728
00:43:22,700 --> 00:43:26,020
rule number one, make sure that someone is traveling with you

729
00:43:26,260 --> 00:43:30,060
that's willing to be your wingman because impossible. Say yes. Say yes

730
00:43:30,060 --> 00:43:33,900
to the help, say yes to the check ins. And also feel free to say

731
00:43:33,900 --> 00:43:36,820
no, no, I can't make it to the last minute birthday party. No, I can't

732
00:43:36,900 --> 00:43:40,500
because you're just going to stretch yourself so thin. Like it's, you know, when you're

733
00:43:40,500 --> 00:43:44,220
already feeling so thin. But we get to this hotel and it's, you know,

734
00:43:44,220 --> 00:43:48,060
we don't own a house. Our substance, a tiny little storage unit. We only

735
00:43:48,060 --> 00:43:50,220
have what we have. The cats are in the bathroom. We finally get the kids

736
00:43:50,220 --> 00:43:53,780
to bed at 2:00am because just, you know, they're toddlers. And

737
00:43:54,260 --> 00:43:57,979
I just, I think holding my breath for two

738
00:43:57,979 --> 00:44:01,780
years and holding it together for everybody and even for myself,

739
00:44:02,100 --> 00:44:05,380
it just followed up. And to be honest, I think I knew it was coming

740
00:44:05,380 --> 00:44:09,190
for me. I knew the title wave of emotion, of getting from the point

741
00:44:09,190 --> 00:44:12,790
in which we came home from Europe pregnant with Fynn, to the point of

742
00:44:12,790 --> 00:44:16,030
like departing that day and everyone waving to us down the street. I knew that

743
00:44:16,030 --> 00:44:19,750
tidal wave of everything else holding him was coming for me. And it did. And

744
00:44:19,750 --> 00:44:23,429
I, I had to go wake John up. I was having like a serious panic

745
00:44:23,429 --> 00:44:27,190
attack. I thought I need like oxygen because I think as a mom, you know,

746
00:44:27,270 --> 00:44:30,950
I had my whole rhythm of life slipped out from underneath me.

747
00:44:31,110 --> 00:44:34,510
How I keep my kid, how I make my kids safe, how I have the

748
00:44:34,510 --> 00:44:37,590
routine of even just like where to put their underwear, what snacks they like at

749
00:44:37,590 --> 00:44:41,110
the grocery store. Like just the background of life with

750
00:44:41,110 --> 00:44:44,630
kids. You just, you get it figured out and then you can maybe do a

751
00:44:44,630 --> 00:44:47,910
little bit extra for yourself or maybe do a little bit vacation with your family.

752
00:44:48,230 --> 00:44:51,870
And that just completely slipped out from underneath me and I just felt like I

753
00:44:51,870 --> 00:44:55,350
was free falling. And we were so grateful to have a house,

754
00:44:55,430 --> 00:44:59,110
furnished house that we are renting. After a year of searching to come

755
00:44:59,110 --> 00:45:02,930
home to you. Yeah, it was wild. But I just, I think I

756
00:45:02,930 --> 00:45:06,570
needed that really good cry and that really good moment of just

757
00:45:06,570 --> 00:45:09,970
straight fear. Like I had just bungee jumped with no

758
00:45:09,970 --> 00:45:13,570
gourd. And I was hoping to God that everything we dreamed about, everything

759
00:45:13,570 --> 00:45:16,450
we researched and everything we sold was gonna be worth it. And I was gonna

760
00:45:16,450 --> 00:45:19,770
land where I wanted and thought to that I thought I was going to.

761
00:45:20,010 --> 00:45:23,690
And so coming here the first month was an absolute fog. Like the kids

762
00:45:23,690 --> 00:45:27,410
had jet lag so bad I was like at the grocery store trying to

763
00:45:27,410 --> 00:45:31,230
find the right Costco chippies for my 5 year old who insisted on having his,

764
00:45:31,540 --> 00:45:35,020
his favorite snacks. The cat litter was too

765
00:45:35,020 --> 00:45:38,340
dusty, so it was creating a mess. The washer was leaking. I mean the water

766
00:45:38,340 --> 00:45:41,460
heater went out for a week. I mean it was not me frolicking

767
00:45:41,620 --> 00:45:43,700
lavender field by any means.

768
00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:49,260
I have to just interrupt for a second and say that I talk about this

769
00:45:49,260 --> 00:45:52,620
a lot, but especially I think being able to talk with you and having like

770
00:45:52,620 --> 00:45:56,020
a fellow mother expat moving is that

771
00:45:56,340 --> 00:45:59,990
it is such a different experience moving with small children. Like

772
00:45:59,990 --> 00:46:03,030
it's life is going to be hard wherever you move. And then you add the

773
00:46:03,030 --> 00:46:06,710
extra layer of challenge. It's a lot. It's not

774
00:46:06,710 --> 00:46:10,270
yet if you move here, like single or with

775
00:46:10,270 --> 00:46:13,870
someone, no kids, like, yes, you can go the first day, you can go

776
00:46:13,870 --> 00:46:17,710
frolic in the. Fields and you can even go. So you're

777
00:46:17,710 --> 00:46:21,510
also delayed in creating community because you have time and

778
00:46:21,510 --> 00:46:25,270
you have, you're answering hard questions. Like, I remember this, you know, a

779
00:46:25,270 --> 00:46:29,110
weekend. Fynn looked at me and he's like, oh my gosh, Rami. Like, who

780
00:46:29,110 --> 00:46:32,190
am I going to invite to my birthday party? You know, and so you have

781
00:46:32,190 --> 00:46:35,870
that element of, of experience that you're having to hold

782
00:46:35,870 --> 00:46:39,550
for your children as well. And not only your own as, as a

783
00:46:39,550 --> 00:46:43,390
couple or as an individual. And so it can feel quite heavy

784
00:46:43,550 --> 00:46:47,350
at times. And you know, it's, it's tricky because I, I

785
00:46:47,350 --> 00:46:50,510
fell victim as well to portraying this very

786
00:46:50,670 --> 00:46:54,370
beautiful setting and Provence, which is so beautiful and

787
00:46:54,370 --> 00:46:58,050
there is markets and there is accessibility to travel and you talk about

788
00:46:58,050 --> 00:47:01,370
healthcare and childcare and education, right? There is all those great

789
00:47:01,370 --> 00:47:04,850
fundamental things that we came here for and that are there,

790
00:47:04,930 --> 00:47:08,530
but there is also. You have to work for your community.

791
00:47:08,930 --> 00:47:12,450
It's not just going to find you. You have to go find it. You have

792
00:47:12,450 --> 00:47:15,450
to go find it. You have to be out of your comfort zone. You have

793
00:47:15,450 --> 00:47:19,170
to have your crap French. You have to be embarrassed by it. It's just,

794
00:47:19,170 --> 00:47:22,320
there's just no way. It's not going to come to you. You have to do

795
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,680
it yourself. And for your kids, you have to approach the mom at the park

796
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:29,000
that you maybe has a little bit of English or, you know, you know, maybe

797
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:31,600
they might seek a little bit to get by, maybe make a play date. You

798
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:34,880
know, you have to create that community for your kids. You do not. That's, it's,

799
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:38,200
it's. Oh, so many good points you're bringing up because you just,

800
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:42,440
it's, not only are you dealing with a language barrier, but you're also

801
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:46,120
dealing with people that aren't American. They're. We

802
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:48,950
talk about this all the time. Like, like French. To me, they almost remind me

803
00:47:48,950 --> 00:47:52,590
more of like very, very East Coast Americans where it's like they're

804
00:47:52,590 --> 00:47:56,190
kind of a hard shell, but once you break it, they're like the nicest people,

805
00:47:56,670 --> 00:47:59,750
but it takes a minute to break it. So it's like you're dealing with all

806
00:47:59,750 --> 00:48:03,310
these different elements and then it's even hard to have the time to

807
00:48:03,310 --> 00:48:07,070
like spend to find community. So it's, it's just knowing it's

808
00:48:07,070 --> 00:48:10,070
going to take longer and that's okay. And I think, also I think this can

809
00:48:10,070 --> 00:48:13,920
be very like regionally different too, because us were like closer to the

810
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:17,520
Luberon Valley. You have a lot of visitors, so people that I meet are only

811
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:21,160
here for a short period, so there's no long term relationship to be

812
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:24,880
building. And so the friendship opportunity kind of gets swept away

813
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:28,440
really quickly. And so you have to just keep trying again and trying again.

814
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:32,520
And so to be in a very tourist heavy location too, you run into

815
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:35,240
that. So it's not always going to be people that live here that you can

816
00:48:35,240 --> 00:48:39,040
consistently build rapport with. And so it can be,

817
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:42,470
it can be tricky, you know, to show up. And then I think

818
00:48:42,630 --> 00:48:46,390
for, for us, and I'm sure it's, it's

819
00:48:46,390 --> 00:48:50,190
hard to put into words, like the feeling of it all, like knowing that you

820
00:48:50,190 --> 00:48:53,390
have, you could have it all figured out back at home or home, you know,

821
00:48:53,390 --> 00:48:56,670
and then showing up and then like, this is your home and you have absolutely

822
00:48:56,670 --> 00:49:00,430
like the, the background fundamentals of your flow of your life are just completely

823
00:49:00,430 --> 00:49:04,030
gone. Like the flow of laundry, the flow of dishes, what products you're

824
00:49:04,030 --> 00:49:07,300
buying, what the products are, what your kids like, what you don't like. I mean,

825
00:49:07,300 --> 00:49:09,940
poor Rue, she came here with her water shoes and grew out of them and

826
00:49:09,940 --> 00:49:13,220
she had no shoes. I had to go find shoes for her because her feet

827
00:49:13,220 --> 00:49:16,540
grew so fast. And I'm like, where do you buy kids shoes? Like, you know,

828
00:49:16,540 --> 00:49:20,300
like, I'm like, You know, having to search the alleyways of acts for kids

829
00:49:20,300 --> 00:49:24,100
shoes, you know, and then humorously, you know, I got everyone here, everyone

830
00:49:24,340 --> 00:49:27,980
had their little survival pack. And I realized three days in

831
00:49:27,980 --> 00:49:31,740
that mine had not been on the plane and that was on my

832
00:49:31,740 --> 00:49:35,516
undergarments. So I was washing the same three items every other day. Oh

833
00:49:35,516 --> 00:49:39,140
no. And I was like, okay, no problem. The washer's broken.

834
00:49:39,140 --> 00:49:42,460
I'm gonna need to go buy some underwear. Like, you know, and my friends are

835
00:49:42,460 --> 00:49:46,180
like, you know, have you flew the London yet?

836
00:49:46,180 --> 00:49:49,660
Like, you know, did you? And I'm like, not quite. Not. Not. Not

837
00:49:49,660 --> 00:49:53,100
quite. No, this is very real life right now. So

838
00:49:53,340 --> 00:49:56,860
it's. It's. You are not gonna show up in the same

839
00:49:56,860 --> 00:50:00,660
capacity in which you did when you're on holiday. Even if you're with kids. It's

840
00:50:00,660 --> 00:50:03,880
just not going to be the same. And I think moving countries,

841
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:08,400
you know, being in California is also a melting pot. Being in San Francisco is

842
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,680
a melting pot. So I grew up with the privilege of being among other cultures

843
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:15,400
and languages because I was amongst, you know, a bigger city

844
00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:18,200
and I was not the

845
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,760
minority back in California. But here, all of a sudden,

846
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:26,480
I'm minority, and I am out of, you know,

847
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:30,180
the normalcy as far as, like, where I'm coming from. So I

848
00:50:30,180 --> 00:50:33,660
have such a deep respect for people that come from another

849
00:50:33,660 --> 00:50:37,500
language or come from a different culture to a new one because

850
00:50:37,820 --> 00:50:41,460
they are working so hard, so hard. And I

851
00:50:41,460 --> 00:50:45,260
know that there's days where they just feel so exhausted

852
00:50:45,340 --> 00:50:49,020
and so defeated because I have those days, I have those weeks

853
00:50:49,180 --> 00:50:52,500
where me and John wake up and we're just like, oh, my gosh, we're so

854
00:50:52,500 --> 00:50:55,660
excited. We just want to go back home and take a nap. Like, you know,

855
00:50:55,980 --> 00:50:59,020
but there is no home. There's not going to be a nap, you know.

856
00:51:00,020 --> 00:51:02,900
And so I think I have a great respect for people that

857
00:51:04,580 --> 00:51:08,020
change their life. Whether they choose to do it or it was by accident,

858
00:51:08,260 --> 00:51:11,820
they stick with it and they work hard for it. And I would like to

859
00:51:11,820 --> 00:51:15,540
say it's easy, but it's not. It takes work and it takes time and

860
00:51:15,540 --> 00:51:19,380
patience. Yeah. And you are. And again, you're so fresh into this,

861
00:51:19,380 --> 00:51:23,060
but I think it's so great for people to understand. Like, it's

862
00:51:23,060 --> 00:51:26,640
not like a movie. It's not easy. It takes. Takes so much grit,

863
00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:30,560
so much courage, so much tenacity to do what you're doing.

864
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:34,240
I think my. My biggest advice to someone, if they were to

865
00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:37,920
say, like, you know, I'm thinking about moving countries, you know, what would be

866
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:41,920
something you tell me. And I would. I would tell them, honestly, giving yourself

867
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:44,800
grace to have to. To take that time and

868
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,560
rest. I felt like I needed to sleep for a year when I got here.

869
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:50,840
And I don't think it was just jet lag. I think it was just the

870
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:54,610
emotional experience that we went through, you know, with

871
00:51:54,610 --> 00:51:57,610
our kids, with, With ourselves letting go of our house, setting free this life that

872
00:51:57,610 --> 00:52:01,290
we had built, and we were very proud of. And emotional awareness is

873
00:52:01,290 --> 00:52:04,850
such a big one, because when we got here, I felt like my husband was

874
00:52:04,850 --> 00:52:08,490
enjoying red wine and floating in the pool that I'm like,

875
00:52:09,130 --> 00:52:12,650
I have to go buy undergarments and keep asking me for chips. And

876
00:52:12,970 --> 00:52:16,570
I don't know if you've ever. Well, I know, you know, but the grocery carts

877
00:52:16,570 --> 00:52:20,110
in France are an Olympic sport, okay? They fly

878
00:52:20,110 --> 00:52:23,790
360 and you gotta hold on for dear life. I have to wear tennis

879
00:52:23,790 --> 00:52:27,070
shoes there. I've made the mistake of wearing sandals and, like, busted my foot on

880
00:52:27,070 --> 00:52:30,870
the wheel. So, The first

881
00:52:30,870 --> 00:52:33,910
few weeks was not holiday for me. It was survival mode. And then it switched

882
00:52:33,910 --> 00:52:36,350
all of a sudden. John was like, we gotta get down to work. And I'm

883
00:52:36,350 --> 00:52:39,630
like, oh, no, no. I just got everyone sorted. I'm gonna take a break for

884
00:52:39,630 --> 00:52:42,830
a minute. And so time to relax a little, you know? And then finally we

885
00:52:42,830 --> 00:52:45,650
got on the same beat of, like, balance. But it was. It was kind of

886
00:52:45,650 --> 00:52:49,010
comical because I'm like, no, no, it's my turn for a break. You know, I

887
00:52:49,010 --> 00:52:51,610
just found what chip he likes. You know, I. Now I know I need to

888
00:52:51,610 --> 00:52:54,050
wear tennis shoes and have a Euro in my pocket at the grocery store and

889
00:52:54,050 --> 00:52:57,130
not go on Sunday at 11:59, you know, so

890
00:52:57,610 --> 00:53:01,330
it just was like. It was like, no, we, we. It's my turn

891
00:53:01,330 --> 00:53:05,130
to. To kind of lean into this part. So obviously you've

892
00:53:05,130 --> 00:53:08,890
talked about a lot of things that are good and hard, but if you could

893
00:53:08,890 --> 00:53:12,550
just sort of see, summarize it. What do you think are, like, the best

894
00:53:12,550 --> 00:53:15,990
part so far about living in Provence? And what are the things that you

895
00:53:15,990 --> 00:53:18,830
immediately are like, I miss home. This is really, really hard.

896
00:53:19,630 --> 00:53:23,070
We'll start with the good things. The best parts for us, I think, as parents,

897
00:53:23,550 --> 00:53:27,310
having a supportive foundation for us to spend

898
00:53:27,310 --> 00:53:30,910
our energy as a family and be more intentional about being

899
00:53:30,910 --> 00:53:34,630
present with our children is by far the number one thing. Because John and I

900
00:53:34,630 --> 00:53:38,010
are not as worried about access to childcare, cost of education,

901
00:53:38,730 --> 00:53:42,570
access to health care. Whereas in California, you don't even want

902
00:53:42,570 --> 00:53:44,690
to know how much I was paying for two days a week, and the fact

903
00:53:44,690 --> 00:53:47,410
that eventually my second was going to need that was just going to blow us

904
00:53:47,410 --> 00:53:51,050
out of the water. Especially because I was home with my child for four years

905
00:53:51,050 --> 00:53:54,810
at that point, not working because of COVID, I was pregnant a second time.

906
00:53:54,810 --> 00:53:58,090
Etc. So, I mean, everyone's family makeup and timing is different. Well, and then just.

907
00:53:58,090 --> 00:54:01,920
And just the cost. Women have to often make a decision whether they want to

908
00:54:02,150 --> 00:54:05,550
work essentially to pay for daycare or if they're just going to stay home, which

909
00:54:05,550 --> 00:54:09,230
is just a horrible decision you have to make. Flying domestically to visit our parents

910
00:54:09,230 --> 00:54:12,870
in Virginia was just, you know, so costly. And,

911
00:54:12,950 --> 00:54:16,630
you know, my husband had a really healthy income and a great job.

912
00:54:16,630 --> 00:54:20,390
And like, even then it was like, my gosh, like, California is just getting

913
00:54:20,550 --> 00:54:24,150
so expensive. Like, we can't keep living like this and think we can just

914
00:54:24,150 --> 00:54:27,550
fly off to our European vacation with our kids. Like, we're just gonna have to,

915
00:54:27,550 --> 00:54:30,540
like, like, do that once every four years. And we're like, okay, no, like, that's.

916
00:54:30,540 --> 00:54:34,300
That's crazy. Like, and so being able to have that foundation

917
00:54:34,300 --> 00:54:37,460
for John and I, to be able to focus more energy on being intentional with

918
00:54:37,460 --> 00:54:41,180
them and then also being able to take time for our own creative dreams

919
00:54:41,260 --> 00:54:44,980
and aspirations is, like, one of the best parts about living here. Like, and

920
00:54:44,980 --> 00:54:48,540
as, you know, like, access to other countries, you know, access to travel

921
00:54:49,180 --> 00:54:52,820
and again, regionally specific. But for us in Provence, it's just.

922
00:54:52,820 --> 00:54:56,500
You drive at any time of day and it's. And it's just so stunning and

923
00:54:56,500 --> 00:55:00,180
so beautiful and it's quiet, you know, and we don't have.

924
00:55:00,180 --> 00:55:04,020
And something that I noticed last time we came home, which was reverse

925
00:55:04,020 --> 00:55:07,060
culture shock. I think you mentioned this when you're talking about when you had a

926
00:55:07,060 --> 00:55:10,820
trip to San Diego, like the reverse culture shock a little bit. There's no big

927
00:55:10,820 --> 00:55:14,100
signs in your face saying what you should buy or where you should go eat,

928
00:55:14,340 --> 00:55:17,780
like in California. And I didn't really realize

929
00:55:17,940 --> 00:55:20,670
how much anxiety that was giving me. Just the

930
00:55:21,140 --> 00:55:24,580
overstimulation of things constantly in your face

931
00:55:24,820 --> 00:55:28,460
in America. And then here you kind of. It's not like

932
00:55:28,460 --> 00:55:31,940
that. So you just kind of really get to lean into your environment and really

933
00:55:31,940 --> 00:55:35,060
kind of take a deep breath and be very present. It really allows for that.

934
00:55:35,380 --> 00:55:38,940
You lean in, you lean into yourself. I feel like. And you'll, I think

935
00:55:38,940 --> 00:55:42,700
you'll really experience this. I think you're going to have an incredible renaissance

936
00:55:42,700 --> 00:55:45,540
for yourself here. Because I feel like when I came here

937
00:55:46,510 --> 00:55:49,510
and I'm Going to talk about this more in another episode, too, but I felt

938
00:55:49,510 --> 00:55:53,350
like being a mother had sort of broken me open and

939
00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:57,070
I wasn't. But then also making the big move. It was so crazy,

940
00:55:57,150 --> 00:56:00,750
but it was like I was so overstimulated for a minute. But then being able

941
00:56:00,750 --> 00:56:04,550
to sit in a little bit more stillness here has allowed me to

942
00:56:04,550 --> 00:56:08,390
really define what I want, like, the next 10 years of my life to look

943
00:56:08,390 --> 00:56:12,200
like. And I don't think that I would have been able to do that, that

944
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:15,840
had I not had this, like, quietness and stillness.

945
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,880
So I think the same is really going to happen for you. Yeah and, I

946
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:22,280
think in. In one of my entries on Substack, I kind of talk about

947
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:26,080
dismantling pieces. Like, you know, kids will break you down, you know,

948
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:29,800
and you will see you have to look hard in the mirror and. And have

949
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:33,480
these hard conversations with yourself. And. And each time I've had a child now,

950
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:37,320
too. You rebuild yourself in different ways and. And

951
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:40,430
you leave behind pieces. Least you try to leave behind pieces, pieces that didn't fit.

952
00:56:40,590 --> 00:56:44,150
And, you know, when I'm having a really hard day here, I

953
00:56:44,150 --> 00:56:47,950
try to remind myself I get this amazing opportunity

954
00:56:48,190 --> 00:56:51,550
to redefine how I'm going to present myself to my family,

955
00:56:51,870 --> 00:56:55,390
to myself, to the world, to hopefully one day

956
00:56:55,470 --> 00:56:58,510
the creative business I want to have and the friends that I keep and the

957
00:56:58,510 --> 00:57:02,350
business partners that I keep. Like, I have this amazing opportunity to get

958
00:57:02,350 --> 00:57:06,110
to, you know, redefine that and leave old, bad habits

959
00:57:06,350 --> 00:57:10,200
behind and really consciously, like you said, have that quiet time

960
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:13,880
to really ask yourself what is important and how am I gonna. How am I

961
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:17,520
gonna take this into my next chapter? Yeah. And okay, so the

962
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,920
worst part. Okay, so I. It's. It's funny because

963
00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:24,720
I'm not gonna lie. I will admit I love my iced coffee. I love my

964
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:27,920
iced coffee. And it can all be found in the wrong value. There is one

965
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:31,640
place in. In Lumuron that has iced coffee. She knows me now,

966
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,330
but it seems silly. Wow. You're gonna be her best client.

967
00:57:35,770 --> 00:57:39,490
Of course. AC Is tough. You know, Sacramento is hot. Probably just as hot,

968
00:57:39,490 --> 00:57:43,330
if not ever so slightly hotter than Provence, but not having the comfort of just

969
00:57:43,330 --> 00:57:47,050
being able to cool off because you're not acclimated to the heat. Oh,

970
00:57:47,050 --> 00:57:50,770
yeah. People have been hearing me about this on Instagram for weeks. It's.

971
00:57:50,770 --> 00:57:54,170
It's. It's the hardest part about living here, to me, is the summers.

972
00:57:54,330 --> 00:57:57,690
They're hot, they're crowded. There's no relief. It's really difficult.

973
00:57:58,010 --> 00:58:01,820
The heat can be really intense, sense. And, you know, Michael,

974
00:58:01,820 --> 00:58:05,540
you see these, these older women and, you know, older season of

975
00:58:05,540 --> 00:58:09,380
their life, and they're walking the hottest market looking so chic and unbothered. And

976
00:58:09,380 --> 00:58:13,020
I'm like, that's my, that's what I'm aiming for. That French chic

977
00:58:13,020 --> 00:58:16,660
woman over there not breaking a sweat. Like, I'm over here looking a mess, you

978
00:58:16,660 --> 00:58:20,300
know. Oh, my God. Like an AC you know,

979
00:58:21,180 --> 00:58:24,980
so, I wouldn't say, I think for me, I think it's regional. I

980
00:58:24,980 --> 00:58:28,240
didn't expect to feel so isolated with food now.

981
00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:32,080
Provence is very gastronomically motivated. They have beautiful

982
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:35,880
dishes, access to fresh food. But at the same time, I

983
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:39,640
will admit, and not ashamed to say it, I come from a place where

984
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:43,080
there's diversity of food. I can go get Chinese, I can go get Greek food.

985
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:46,600
I can go get Mexican food. I can get Mediterranean food, and it's all

986
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:50,280
really good versions of it. Like, I had just the

987
00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:53,970
most diverse palette in front of me to choose from, and it's

988
00:58:53,970 --> 00:58:57,410
a little bit harder and, you know, like, bigger places like Apps and

989
00:58:57,410 --> 00:59:01,170
Avignon, maybe in Paris, there's more diversity. Again,

990
00:59:01,170 --> 00:59:04,970
this is very regionally specific for me, but being closer to LeBron Valley there,

991
00:59:04,970 --> 00:59:08,810
and it's starting definitely comparing our experience in 2018

992
00:59:08,810 --> 00:59:12,330
to now, there is definitely more diversity when it comes to that

993
00:59:12,330 --> 00:59:16,170
palette of spice, but again, not as much. I have to go

994
00:59:16,170 --> 00:59:19,350
seek it out. And I am a foodie. I'm a foodie at heart, and I

995
00:59:19,350 --> 00:59:22,870
want to just not always have the same thing and either. And I don't mind

996
00:59:22,870 --> 00:59:26,590
changing the palette of my life with the food here, but I just, you know,

997
00:59:26,590 --> 00:59:30,430
I want an empanada, I want a cheeseburger. I

998
00:59:30,430 --> 00:59:34,110
want the Greek food. I just love the spice. So for me,

999
00:59:34,110 --> 00:59:37,590
that's kind of hard for me to feel isolated when it comes to food. And

1000
00:59:37,670 --> 00:59:40,310
I guess it might be silly to say just one would think maybe something different,

1001
00:59:40,470 --> 00:59:44,130
but for me, that's where homesickness sets in, is the diversity of the food

1002
00:59:44,130 --> 00:59:47,850
here in the region. Well, and California has, I

1003
00:59:47,850 --> 00:59:51,490
mean, to me, like, it's the best state for food in the whole country.

1004
00:59:51,730 --> 00:59:54,770
So I think when you went back, took a picture of your tacos, and I

1005
00:59:54,770 --> 00:59:57,810
was like, it's only been there for two months. Like, look at those tacos.

1006
00:59:58,930 --> 01:00:02,770
We're going back in October, and I'm gonna be doing the same thing, tacos

1007
01:00:02,770 --> 01:00:06,130
every single day. Like, I can't wait. No. So, no, I, I, I,

1008
01:00:06,530 --> 01:00:10,020
I think if You're a foodie. We're definitely foodies. We plan our trips around food.

1009
01:00:10,020 --> 01:00:13,140
I think that if you, if that's such a huge part of your life, it

1010
01:00:13,140 --> 01:00:16,100
does, it's a little bit of a, like even I was, you know, telling

1011
01:00:16,740 --> 01:00:20,580
Jordan the other day, I said, I feel like it's in some ways easier at

1012
01:00:20,580 --> 01:00:24,380
home to get stuck. The food is incredible, the produce is incredible. But it's

1013
01:00:24,380 --> 01:00:27,540
easier to get stuck in a rut here making food because

1014
01:00:28,820 --> 01:00:32,220
you can, There are, there are a lot of places and I live in Axton,

1015
01:00:32,220 --> 01:00:35,660
so it is different. There's more, but it's, it's,

1016
01:00:35,900 --> 01:00:39,500
it's so much more time consuming and effort to

1017
01:00:39,500 --> 01:00:43,260
seek out like to go to the, to the Ding Dang. That's like the

1018
01:00:43,260 --> 01:00:46,940
specific like Asian food store to get what you need versus like being

1019
01:00:46,940 --> 01:00:50,740
in America where everything's like generally all in one. I think it also speaks

1020
01:00:50,740 --> 01:00:54,500
to like the, what's the word? You know, the

1021
01:00:54,500 --> 01:00:57,420
quick fix. Like in America you can like go through a drive through, get what

1022
01:00:57,420 --> 01:00:59,900
you want or like pick up something within two hours at Target.

1023
01:00:59,900 --> 01:01:01,430
Yeah,

1024
01:01:03,750 --> 01:01:06,190
that is definitely something. It's convenient. Biggest trade off to me. And also it's a

1025
01:01:06,190 --> 01:01:09,830
mindset too. Like I have to change my mindset. Like I'm not in a place

1026
01:01:10,070 --> 01:01:13,830
that is instantly serving me. I have to do work,

1027
01:01:14,070 --> 01:01:17,870
I have to follow up. Not to sound. I mean, yeah, I guess you could

1028
01:01:17,870 --> 01:01:21,470
call me lazy, you know, because you get in these, like, these, these, these

1029
01:01:21,470 --> 01:01:24,790
comfortable positions where what you can't. It's easy, easy to be

1030
01:01:24,790 --> 01:01:28,460
lazy because it's so accessible and it's so easy just to go

1031
01:01:28,460 --> 01:01:32,060
and fix whatever you need fixing. But here it's not like that. You have to

1032
01:01:32,060 --> 01:01:35,740
be consciously and prepared, you know, and to

1033
01:01:35,740 --> 01:01:39,300
follow up with anything. With food, with your, with your kids, school supply

1034
01:01:39,300 --> 01:01:43,099
list, you know, I mean, literally everything. It's just, it's just a

1035
01:01:43,099 --> 01:01:46,300
different mindset. I mean I, and I can't blame myself. I grew up in California

1036
01:01:46,300 --> 01:01:50,100
for 36 years, you know, so, you know, giving yourself grace to like

1037
01:01:50,500 --> 01:01:53,700
start to adjust your mindset and what you expect.

1038
01:01:54,580 --> 01:01:58,260
Yeah, and it's not going to be overnight. I mean we're

1039
01:01:58,260 --> 01:02:01,980
still, we're two years in and we still are getting frustrated about certain things.

1040
01:02:02,060 --> 01:02:05,660
Like our dryer just like is

1041
01:02:05,900 --> 01:02:09,100
acting up. It's less than a year and a half old.

1042
01:02:09,580 --> 01:02:13,180
I think the electronics here or like

1043
01:02:13,180 --> 01:02:16,940
appliances that are made in France. We don't have a dryer.

1044
01:02:17,020 --> 01:02:20,780
I use the line and fit things. Yeah. We're using a line wrap because

1045
01:02:20,780 --> 01:02:23,980
it's such a process to fix it. It's not like you can just call someone

1046
01:02:23,980 --> 01:02:27,360
and like, boom, it's done. It's there and it's. Yeah, so it's. You're

1047
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:31,440
right. Everything. Everything. Before I forget that I would have liked to

1048
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:34,640
touch on when we were talking about kind of like the adjustment period here is

1049
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:38,360
the sensory differences. Like, you know, I joked about, like, not

1050
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:42,080
being able to maybe have Fynn's little voice smell in his room because,

1051
01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:45,480
you know, we had had that same room, but like, you know, I was using

1052
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:49,240
the same kind of like, soaps and same kind of like dryer

1053
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:53,020
sheets and. And my perfumes that I don't have. Have. And so all of a

1054
01:02:53,020 --> 01:02:56,660
sudden, like, our clothes smell different, our house smells different

1055
01:02:56,660 --> 01:03:00,100
and all. It is very. It can be very disruptive and very

1056
01:03:00,100 --> 01:03:03,460
shocking because you had your little. I don't mean to sound weird, but, like, you've

1057
01:03:03,460 --> 01:03:07,180
had your. Your smell like your family house smell, like your. Your favorite candle

1058
01:03:07,180 --> 01:03:11,020
was lit. You know, you build upon this in the sensory environment that

1059
01:03:11,020 --> 01:03:14,700
you have that's no longer there. So you're just feeling so out

1060
01:03:14,700 --> 01:03:18,300
of place, you know, because even the sensory portion of it, like your comfort

1061
01:03:18,300 --> 01:03:21,980
meals, the way your clothes are smelling, it's all different.

1062
01:03:21,980 --> 01:03:25,340
Like, people don't think about that part too, that you have to

1063
01:03:25,340 --> 01:03:29,180
redefine. Spoken. Spoken like a true writer. Like,

1064
01:03:29,180 --> 01:03:32,820
no, it's true. It's. It's sensory is so. It's such a big part of

1065
01:03:32,820 --> 01:03:36,660
how our brains, like, see the world. And it's like your brain is

1066
01:03:36,660 --> 01:03:40,380
almost like working on overlooked. It's trying to catch something familiar. And it's like,

1067
01:03:40,380 --> 01:03:43,660
yeah, it's like catching air. And some days you're just like, you know, you're at

1068
01:03:43,660 --> 01:03:45,280
a parking here in Asia. Hi.

1069
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:50,960
And it's. You don't just freak them out and make them run away, you know,

1070
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:53,400
but it's kind of. I make a joke that I kind of feel that way.

1071
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:56,160
When I was at home with my kids, the mailman would come by and my

1072
01:03:56,160 --> 01:03:58,560
husband be working all the time. He'd be like, oh, hey, how's it going? Like,

1073
01:03:58,560 --> 01:04:01,720
you know, he's like, oh, she hasn't talked to him in another adult in like

1074
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:05,480
three days. You know. So

1075
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:08,160
funny. So I think

1076
01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:11,840
let's kind of wrap up with a few questions about

1077
01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:16,240
kind of where. Where you're heading and just some advice

1078
01:04:16,540 --> 01:04:20,220
you could give. So if you could give three pieces of advice

1079
01:04:20,700 --> 01:04:24,060
to someone wanting to move abroad, and maybe specifically to France.

1080
01:04:24,620 --> 01:04:27,780
What would you tell them? I think the first part, and I. I thought about

1081
01:04:27,780 --> 01:04:31,180
this, I made notes about this because I feel like giving advice, like, holds such

1082
01:04:31,180 --> 01:04:34,700
weight to it, because I think that it's so easy to,

1083
01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:39,180
especially now that social media is so big, to see this image, to see this

1084
01:04:39,180 --> 01:04:42,950
house, to see this location, think, oh, that's it. But, or, or

1085
01:04:42,950 --> 01:04:46,510
if I move my life, it's going to be like that, right? Or it's going

1086
01:04:46,510 --> 01:04:49,270
to be similar to that. I can make it like that. I think the first.

1087
01:04:49,830 --> 01:04:53,670
First advice I would give is you need to have very honest conversations

1088
01:04:53,830 --> 01:04:57,630
with either yourself, your partner, your family, and really

1089
01:04:57,630 --> 01:05:01,430
ask yourself, why do I want to move? Why do I want to change things?

1090
01:05:01,670 --> 01:05:05,310
What are my ideal expectations and what are the things I'm willing to

1091
01:05:05,310 --> 01:05:09,040
compromise, truly, because if you don't have a solid

1092
01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:12,840
foundation on why you want to go, it's going to probably be that much

1093
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:16,600
more harder to show up and not know what you're working for. And even now

1094
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:19,760
we have goals, but some days we don't know what we're aiming for because they

1095
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:23,040
have to change. We have to pivot. Like I said, my husband's lunch contract fell

1096
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:26,600
through two days after we got here. And now, now

1097
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:30,080
we are going to have to pause buying the house, pause buying a car. We

1098
01:05:30,080 --> 01:05:33,920
can't even lease one. You know, you have these pivots and you have to

1099
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:37,590
set. It would be harder to show up with absolutely no goal

1100
01:05:37,590 --> 01:05:40,950
in mind of why you want to, even if it's just like, it's for the

1101
01:05:40,950 --> 01:05:43,750
kids or it's for us or it's for my business, if you're single, you know,

1102
01:05:43,750 --> 01:05:47,470
whatever it may be. So I think having that honest conversation with yourself often or

1103
01:05:47,470 --> 01:05:51,230
with your family and partner is important to make the time to come.

1104
01:05:51,470 --> 01:05:54,950
What you see in a short snippet is not going to be what you see

1105
01:05:54,950 --> 01:05:58,350
in person all the time. There are a lot. There's distance in between

1106
01:05:58,350 --> 01:06:01,910
towns, there's distance in between amenities. And again, sometimes for me, this is regionally

1107
01:06:01,910 --> 01:06:05,630
specific because the Rong Valley is spread out into many other provincial towns.

1108
01:06:05,630 --> 01:06:09,110
And then you have kind of the anchors, which is like Axe and then Avignon

1109
01:06:09,110 --> 01:06:12,750
and Marseille. So you have these anchoring towns that kind of have others around

1110
01:06:12,750 --> 01:06:16,190
you. So what does that mean? What does that mean for your family? What are

1111
01:06:16,190 --> 01:06:19,630
the things that are important to you? Like, for me, well, before we went, I

1112
01:06:19,630 --> 01:06:22,350
was like, oh, yeah, I could live in a stone house, like, you know, in

1113
01:06:22,350 --> 01:06:26,110
a farmland. And we could drive 15 minutes into town. And now that I'm up

1114
01:06:26,110 --> 01:06:29,560
on a hill with neighbors around me, I'm feeling really isolated. And I'm like. Like,

1115
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:32,240
maybe I need to be somewhere more walkable. Maybe I need to be somewhere where

1116
01:06:32,240 --> 01:06:35,520
I'm running into people like that. Storybook is slightly changing,

1117
01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:39,880
but to not ignore that, to acknowledge that and don't feel bad for it

1118
01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:42,720
and don't feel like you're giving up on that dream, you maybe just need a

1119
01:06:42,720 --> 01:06:46,360
different version of that. So trying to make time to come here and do the

1120
01:06:46,360 --> 01:06:50,200
research, find out where the schools are, where the amenities are, the drive, distance between

1121
01:06:50,200 --> 01:06:54,000
things you want to do, make the time to come. It might be an expensive

1122
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:57,610
go because you're there temporarily, but it will pay you freefold in the end

1123
01:06:57,840 --> 01:07:00,520
because you didn't just show up to the place you thought you wanted to be,

1124
01:07:00,520 --> 01:07:04,200
and you realize, oh, my God, this is not what I wanted. This

1125
01:07:04,200 --> 01:07:07,440
is not what I thought. This is because especially when you have kids, you know,

1126
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:11,120
you're trying to create stability at some point, at some, you

1127
01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:14,280
know, during the line there. So I would say make time to come to the

1128
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:16,680
location you want to be at or you think you want to be at. And

1129
01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:20,320
the other one is educate yourself. Not only with just Facebook groups, other

1130
01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:23,760
expats, but hire a tax attorney, hire an immigration

1131
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:26,940
attorney, pay yourself first with education,

1132
01:07:27,180 --> 01:07:30,980
professional education. Because not everyone's financial situation is

1133
01:07:30,980 --> 01:07:34,740
the same. Not everyone's visa fits in the same type of

1134
01:07:34,740 --> 01:07:38,380
box. It is going to be different for every single person and

1135
01:07:38,380 --> 01:07:42,060
family. It doesn't matter what the other person's doing,

1136
01:07:42,060 --> 01:07:45,260
or maybe they've had an easier way or a harder way. I know a couple

1137
01:07:45,260 --> 01:07:48,860
that came here and learned from London and had to go back temporarily

1138
01:07:49,020 --> 01:07:52,220
and then come back again and then go back one more time and then come

1139
01:07:52,220 --> 01:07:56,000
back again. And it is. I've. Yeah, I've known stories like that as

1140
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:59,840
well. And no, it's. It's true. Because they didn't know what the rules

1141
01:07:59,840 --> 01:08:03,160
were. They didn't talk to someone. That's why I. I get. I can't even tell

1142
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:06,760
you how many DMS I get all the time from people being like, how did

1143
01:08:06,760 --> 01:08:10,600
you do it? And I'm like, it doesn't even matter. How I did it. Answer

1144
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:14,240
that question. You need to. Yeah, you need to go talk to an attorney, and

1145
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:17,840
they will, like, literally write out what you need your life to look like in

1146
01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:21,450
order to make a move. The end. Because they know evaluating, like, the current life

1147
01:08:21,450 --> 01:08:25,250
you're in the comfort level which you're living in and understanding

1148
01:08:25,250 --> 01:08:29,050
what that looks like after it's gone through the filter and translates into the new

1149
01:08:29,050 --> 01:08:32,450
country that you're living in. Because you can't show up expecting, like, you know, you

1150
01:08:32,450 --> 01:08:36,250
talk about French bureaucracy. You can't expect to show up, and it should

1151
01:08:36,250 --> 01:08:40,050
be like it was before from whatever country or location you're coming

1152
01:08:40,050 --> 01:08:43,530
from, it's going to fall differently. And you have to understand

1153
01:08:44,330 --> 01:08:47,250
as much as one can. Of course, there's still things we're learning, there's still things

1154
01:08:47,250 --> 01:08:49,890
we're figuring out, navigating, and you're not just going to show up with the perfect

1155
01:08:49,890 --> 01:08:53,620
booklet of, of, you know, professional advice, but you, you're, you're gonna,

1156
01:08:53,780 --> 01:08:57,540
you, at least you'll have talked about the different routes when you shop and what

1157
01:08:57,540 --> 01:09:00,420
that looks like. And I think if you, if you really focus on those three

1158
01:09:00,420 --> 01:09:04,020
things, everything else is going to be experience that will accumulate

1159
01:09:04,020 --> 01:09:07,780
into maybe setting that date and calling it and, and,

1160
01:09:07,780 --> 01:09:11,060
and making that decision to go and to set free what you may have to

1161
01:09:11,060 --> 01:09:14,620
set free in order to, to do it. I think, I think you can't

1162
01:09:14,620 --> 01:09:18,439
rely only on what you're seeing online. You have to be. You

1163
01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:22,079
have to go in person. There's just no other experience other than being

1164
01:09:22,159 --> 01:09:25,959
on the ground understanding how you feel and what's around

1165
01:09:25,959 --> 01:09:29,559
you. That's, I mean, all such amazing pieces of

1166
01:09:29,559 --> 01:09:33,359
advice. So thank you for that. Just like reiterating that. So

1167
01:09:33,359 --> 01:09:37,039
I know that you are, like, planting some seeds

1168
01:09:37,039 --> 01:09:40,559
right now for some fun, some fun new,

1169
01:09:40,639 --> 01:09:44,410
I wouldn't say, like, adventures and, and just ventures in general ahead

1170
01:09:44,410 --> 01:09:48,050
of you. So talk to me about, like, what

1171
01:09:48,050 --> 01:09:51,650
is next for you? What do you think you want the next year, ideally to

1172
01:09:51,650 --> 01:09:55,330
look like for you? I think being at home with

1173
01:09:55,330 --> 01:09:59,130
my children has a lot of time to think about what I've

1174
01:09:59,130 --> 01:10:02,130
been wanting to do and how I want to use my creative skills in the

1175
01:10:02,130 --> 01:10:05,930
world. Once they were in school and not needing me as much every

1176
01:10:05,930 --> 01:10:08,930
single day because they have, you know, rhythm of school and things like this will

1177
01:10:08,930 --> 01:10:11,810
be the first time, actually next year, early next year will be the first time

1178
01:10:11,810 --> 01:10:15,090
I have both the kids in school and I don't need the help or.

1179
01:10:15,250 --> 01:10:19,090
Yeah. So, you know, stepping out of motherhood into,

1180
01:10:19,090 --> 01:10:22,090
like, back into like the business world or the creative world can be a bit

1181
01:10:22,090 --> 01:10:25,490
intimidating. And then you layer on being in another country has another

1182
01:10:25,810 --> 01:10:29,010
intimidation aspect of it. But, you know, after,

1183
01:10:29,330 --> 01:10:32,930
after doing the wedding for John and I in Italy, I

1184
01:10:32,930 --> 01:10:36,340
really felt passionate about intentionally

1185
01:10:36,340 --> 01:10:40,020
creating small events for people. It didn't have to just be a wedding. It could

1186
01:10:40,020 --> 01:10:43,860
be a dinner, a celebration of life, a birthday. Just because I think

1187
01:10:43,860 --> 01:10:47,380
that, you know, there's this amazing opportunity, especially in

1188
01:10:47,380 --> 01:10:50,980
Provence, that you see. And it's not just about the tourism. There's

1189
01:10:50,980 --> 01:10:54,580
amazing artisans here that have had amazing talents in their

1190
01:10:54,580 --> 01:10:57,820
families. There's amazing chefs that have been cooking for generations.

1191
01:10:58,460 --> 01:11:01,870
There's farmers that have beautiful lands that are telling these amazing

1192
01:11:02,180 --> 01:11:05,420
stories through their food and through their produce that are just. They're not. They're not

1193
01:11:05,420 --> 01:11:09,140
just at the market, you know, selling cheese. Like, there's so much that goes into

1194
01:11:09,140 --> 01:11:12,940
it. And so for me, I really want to have a small boutique events

1195
01:11:12,940 --> 01:11:16,500
business where it focuses on 30 people or less, give or take,

1196
01:11:16,740 --> 01:11:20,460
that want to come here. And it's focused around the seasonality of Provence, whether

1197
01:11:20,460 --> 01:11:24,140
that be a small wedding, whether that be a birthday, or just

1198
01:11:24,140 --> 01:11:27,780
because. And working with local vendors and getting to not only

1199
01:11:28,100 --> 01:11:31,620
celebrate that story or that event, but getting to celebrate where we're at

1200
01:11:31,780 --> 01:11:35,580
and giving homage back to what Provence is all about and honestly,

1201
01:11:35,580 --> 01:11:39,060
and why it drew me here. You know, the beautiful nature, the

1202
01:11:39,220 --> 01:11:42,740
wonderful people we run into, the artists that are so

1203
01:11:43,140 --> 01:11:46,820
unapologetically passionate about what they do. It's just

1204
01:11:46,820 --> 01:11:50,620
so wonderful. And just to sit down at a table or to be amongst that

1205
01:11:50,620 --> 01:11:54,100
is, to me, so beautiful. And I kind of did that

1206
01:11:54,100 --> 01:11:57,840
rendition for my guests at our wedding when I took them to Tuscany, and

1207
01:11:57,840 --> 01:12:01,480
I kind of peeled back the layers of what you see online and gave them

1208
01:12:01,880 --> 01:12:05,400
this one week. And of course, our wedding was in the middle. And to me,

1209
01:12:05,560 --> 01:12:09,360
that's really exciting, and I really love to provide that kind

1210
01:12:09,360 --> 01:12:13,040
of experience and environment for people that want to come and have

1211
01:12:13,040 --> 01:12:16,520
that little piece of Provence in a very authentic

1212
01:12:16,840 --> 01:12:20,560
way. And then also feeling like it's okay to come and discover

1213
01:12:20,560 --> 01:12:24,030
little pieces of yourself that you didn't know existed and to learn about

1214
01:12:24,030 --> 01:12:26,870
yourself and to be in a different country and to

1215
01:12:27,350 --> 01:12:30,550
celebrate parts of your life. I mean, I found out I was pregnant at East

1216
01:12:30,550 --> 01:12:33,710
El Sorg, you know, and I got engaged in Paris. And these are all things

1217
01:12:33,710 --> 01:12:37,350
that linked me, you know, and coming back to Europe and having this very

1218
01:12:37,510 --> 01:12:40,910
peaceful feeling, we felt like we were better versions of ourselves here. So I think

1219
01:12:40,910 --> 01:12:43,950
having those experiences for you and your guests, whether it be family or friends or

1220
01:12:43,950 --> 01:12:47,750
co workers, is. Can be very important on the timeline of

1221
01:12:47,750 --> 01:12:50,850
celebrating milestones in your life. And I'd love to be a part of someone's of

1222
01:12:50,850 --> 01:12:54,650
story and doing that so planting that seed and starting to

1223
01:12:54,650 --> 01:12:57,610
build. That is really exciting because then that also allows me to connect with the

1224
01:12:57,610 --> 01:13:01,450
community and. And make friends and understand what. What's around me

1225
01:13:01,450 --> 01:13:05,010
and. And the rhythm of the seasons here and. And. And everything that goes into

1226
01:13:05,010 --> 01:13:08,730
that. And so, yeah, that's. That's really exciting. That's really

1227
01:13:08,730 --> 01:13:12,370
exciting. I think that you are gonna do some wonderful

1228
01:13:12,370 --> 01:13:15,530
things here. I'm like, I'm thrilled. And then you also have a sub stack where

1229
01:13:15,530 --> 01:13:19,300
you're talking. Yeah. So tell me, tell me, like, all the things where people

1230
01:13:19,300 --> 01:13:22,780
can, like, find you at this moment and if they want to, like, follow your

1231
01:13:22,780 --> 01:13:26,620
journey, like, through the next year of living here. You can find my Instagram

1232
01:13:26,620 --> 01:13:30,060
at Chasing Provence, and I also have my substack, Chasing

1233
01:13:30,060 --> 01:13:33,700
Provence, where you can really read about. You know, we

1234
01:13:33,700 --> 01:13:37,460
talked about the raw, fragile moments of going through this journey as

1235
01:13:37,460 --> 01:13:40,780
a. As a mother, as a wife, as a creative individual.

1236
01:13:41,020 --> 01:13:44,790
I think, think that in some ways, not that

1237
01:13:44,790 --> 01:13:48,590
I'm trying to prove the world wrong, but I think. I think it's

1238
01:13:48,590 --> 01:13:52,310
important to be candid and honest about what it means

1239
01:13:52,310 --> 01:13:56,070
to change your life and how much work and emotion and sometimes even

1240
01:13:56,070 --> 01:13:59,830
grief goes into doing that. And especially,

1241
01:13:59,990 --> 01:14:03,470
I think, for women and young girls that have these ideas of how they want

1242
01:14:03,470 --> 01:14:06,990
to have their life, and it's easy to get caught up online and see versions

1243
01:14:06,990 --> 01:14:10,780
of. Of that, but you really have to ask yourself, what. What do you

1244
01:14:10,780 --> 01:14:14,620
want? How do you see yourself? What do you want to build, you know, for

1245
01:14:14,620 --> 01:14:18,380
you or your family? And so my writing is just a way to marry

1246
01:14:18,380 --> 01:14:21,940
these emotions to words and to share our journey in a very

1247
01:14:21,940 --> 01:14:25,740
raw way. And sometimes, like, I've had. I've had readers share with

1248
01:14:25,740 --> 01:14:29,260
me that it was like reading in my personal journal, and it almost felt

1249
01:14:29,260 --> 01:14:32,340
like they were peeking inside of it, and they shouldn't be. But to be honest,

1250
01:14:32,340 --> 01:14:36,140
I feel proud that they feel that way. Because if

1251
01:14:36,140 --> 01:14:39,700
you're not being honest with the world and with yourself, most

1252
01:14:39,700 --> 01:14:43,180
importantly, then you're not going to create a community that feels

1253
01:14:43,180 --> 01:14:47,020
authentic and that feels like is similar to you and

1254
01:14:47,020 --> 01:14:49,460
to what you're trying to give back to the world and what you're trying to

1255
01:14:49,460 --> 01:14:53,100
give back to yourself. And so I am honest in my writing. And

1256
01:14:53,100 --> 01:14:56,580
so, yes, I write on my Chasing Provence substack.

1257
01:14:56,900 --> 01:15:00,420
And I have to say, being here, even in our

1258
01:15:00,420 --> 01:15:04,100
hardest days as parents, piecing our life back, in this

1259
01:15:04,100 --> 01:15:07,820
version, you know, I lay. I lay in Fynn's bed at night. He

1260
01:15:07,820 --> 01:15:11,540
still has to have me contact to sleep. You know, he's

1261
01:15:11,540 --> 01:15:15,220
fine. And you know, you know, you worry all day. You just spin your

1262
01:15:15,220 --> 01:15:18,580
wheels about, my gosh, what did I do? Was he gonna play T ball like

1263
01:15:18,580 --> 01:15:22,420
he would have, you know, or whatever? Like, who I gonna invite

1264
01:15:22,420 --> 01:15:25,460
his birthday? You know, they ask you these hard questions and you're doing all these

1265
01:15:25,460 --> 01:15:27,760
hard things, but he looks at me and he goes, mom, me. You have to

1266
01:15:27,760 --> 01:15:31,040
kiss me goodnight like the French do, and then proceeds to kiss me on each

1267
01:15:31,040 --> 01:15:34,400
cheek. And it's like that moment that you're just like,

1268
01:15:34,960 --> 01:15:38,640
they're soaking it in. We're here, we're doing it. And you

1269
01:15:38,640 --> 01:15:42,280
see, like, my daughter met the. The man who's

1270
01:15:42,280 --> 01:15:45,440
very sweet in our neighborhood. He's been here for generations. His family comes from a

1271
01:15:45,440 --> 01:15:48,960
generation of farmers. And he invited us for a little appetizer

1272
01:15:49,120 --> 01:15:52,240
outside of a. Outside his house. And the gal we're renting the house from said,

1273
01:15:52,240 --> 01:15:55,780
oh my gosh, she doesn't have anyone over, you know, so we felt very honored

1274
01:15:55,780 --> 01:15:59,580
to go and, and have this experience. And I'm watching him feed

1275
01:15:59,580 --> 01:16:03,260
rue olives, you know, and he's just lighting up around children

1276
01:16:03,260 --> 01:16:06,580
and she's just loving it. And we had a sweet neighbor live next door to

1277
01:16:06,580 --> 01:16:09,980
us. He's just our heart. We call. We call him Uncle. I won't say his

1278
01:16:09,980 --> 01:16:13,460
name, but anyway, you know, uncle. And. And it was really hard to leave him.

1279
01:16:13,460 --> 01:16:16,860
And so, you know, having those experiences with these people and

1280
01:16:16,940 --> 01:16:20,680
seeing your kids do that and create to slow down, also have less

1281
01:16:20,680 --> 01:16:24,040
screen time, be interested in trying new foods, you know,

1282
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:27,880
culturally soaking it, and makes all the work that you did

1283
01:16:28,120 --> 01:16:31,240
and all the work you are doing just feel so worth it. Because at the

1284
01:16:31,240 --> 01:16:34,080
end of the day, if someone wants that, you have one time to answer one

1285
01:16:34,080 --> 01:16:37,440
reason why you came here. It would be for my children, you know, and the

1286
01:16:37,440 --> 01:16:41,080
future that they are going to build here. And to have access to other cultures

1287
01:16:41,080 --> 01:16:44,680
and to feel like it's okay to have two ways home,

1288
01:16:45,130 --> 01:16:48,690
it's okay to call two places home. It doesn't just have to be one. And

1289
01:16:48,690 --> 01:16:52,130
it's okay to thrive in other locations with other people and to

1290
01:16:52,130 --> 01:16:55,930
maintain those friendships. I think it's going to be such character building. I agree.

1291
01:16:55,930 --> 01:16:58,810
That's exactly what I was going to say is character building. It just because in

1292
01:16:58,810 --> 01:17:02,490
the reverse, when we were in California, we were maintaining friendships here. And

1293
01:17:02,490 --> 01:17:06,250
now that we're here, we are intentionally maintaining friendships in California. And we still

1294
01:17:06,250 --> 01:17:09,730
will go back and do Disneyland, Anaheim, and we'll still go back and do San

1295
01:17:09,730 --> 01:17:13,130
Francisco and we'll still go to Tahoe. We will still, still show them

1296
01:17:13,450 --> 01:17:17,290
the childhood we had and experience those joys from sitting like a fly on

1297
01:17:17,290 --> 01:17:20,650
the wall, watching them get to do it. And that will be the reverse. Intentional.

1298
01:17:20,730 --> 01:17:24,290
You know, now that we're here, we're going to intentionally maintain those friendships. So, yeah,

1299
01:17:24,290 --> 01:17:27,609
that character building, like, we came here for our kids to give us. To give

1300
01:17:27,609 --> 01:17:31,250
them that experience. And to be honest, it's fun for John and I because we

1301
01:17:31,250 --> 01:17:34,610
kind of feel like kids again. And we didn't have that back stuck in our

1302
01:17:34,610 --> 01:17:37,850
rut. We didn't. We felt so overworked. Yeah, you're, you're

1303
01:17:37,850 --> 01:17:41,430
exploring and. And you're figuring out new things. Yeah, it's a new

1304
01:17:41,430 --> 01:17:44,830
feel. And it feels exciting and

1305
01:17:44,830 --> 01:17:48,430
scary. Feels terrifying. Very much so. But also

1306
01:17:48,430 --> 01:17:52,190
extremely exciting to feel like, wow, we did it. We

1307
01:17:52,190 --> 01:17:55,710
showed up. We're showing up. We're still showing up. You know,

1308
01:17:56,350 --> 01:17:59,590
I just feel like I can't predict the next week by, you know, the sketch.

1309
01:17:59,590 --> 01:18:02,470
Not to say that there's not going to be some rhythm and schedule, but in

1310
01:18:02,470 --> 01:18:06,070
some ways, there's so much opportunity to really switch it up at a drop of

1311
01:18:06,070 --> 01:18:09,790
a dime here. And to us, that. That feels exciting and

1312
01:18:09,790 --> 01:18:13,190
reinvigorating again, not only as a family, but as a couple and then

1313
01:18:13,190 --> 01:18:16,950
individually as creative people. So Provence is already giving back, you

1314
01:18:16,950 --> 01:18:20,670
know, such. Such beauty and opportunity to us, and we're just so grateful,

1315
01:18:20,990 --> 01:18:24,830
even though there's days what. Where we are absolutely terrified. And sometimes

1316
01:18:24,830 --> 01:18:28,470
I'm in tears because I know how I'm gonna do this for my kids. It's

1317
01:18:28,470 --> 01:18:32,080
such a back and forth. But that is life. That is. That is

1318
01:18:32,080 --> 01:18:35,520
emotion in the raw. And that's. That's going to happen no matter where you go,

1319
01:18:35,520 --> 01:18:38,680
even if you stay. You know, he was going to go to kindergarten. We were

1320
01:18:38,680 --> 01:18:42,200
going to have to change things, you know, whether you stay, whether you decide to

1321
01:18:42,200 --> 01:18:45,880
go. The things we talked about can be applied to, even if you're

1322
01:18:45,880 --> 01:18:49,600
staying put and you're. You're making big pivots and changes in your life,

1323
01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:53,400
it's not just if you move to another country, you know. So, yeah,

1324
01:18:53,400 --> 01:18:57,230
Provence is already getting back in really beautiful ways. And we're excited. Well,

1325
01:18:57,230 --> 01:19:01,070
I am. I'm really, really excited again. We're catching

1326
01:19:01,070 --> 01:19:04,870
you very much in the throes of the first days of moving. So lots

1327
01:19:04,870 --> 01:19:08,710
of emotions, lots of feelings. We'll see. We'll see where I land.

1328
01:19:09,830 --> 01:19:13,510
Crazy experiences, but really excited to Follow along and

1329
01:19:13,510 --> 01:19:16,950
I'll, I'll tag all of you know, Erin's her sub stack and her

1330
01:19:16,950 --> 01:19:20,750
Instagram. So if you want to follow along, you can. My business, I'll definitely be

1331
01:19:20,750 --> 01:19:23,800
announcing it through my Instagram. That's probably where I have my most viewers. I'm not

1332
01:19:23,800 --> 01:19:26,880
perfect. I'm a little fish in a big sea. And by no means am I

1333
01:19:26,880 --> 01:19:30,680
considered an influencer. I'm just a bomb with

1334
01:19:30,680 --> 01:19:34,280
dreams and I'm just sharing it as I, as I go through them. And I

1335
01:19:34,280 --> 01:19:37,600
hope to create a community around me that's either interested or

1336
01:19:37,680 --> 01:19:41,040
dreaming through me because I dreamt through other people, you know, when I was in

1337
01:19:41,040 --> 01:19:44,520
the throes of newborn Covid. You know, they're just, they're just

1338
01:19:44,520 --> 01:19:48,000
avenues to feel motivated and to feel creative and so yeah,

1339
01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:51,780
anything that I'm. Hopefully my website will be ready to go by falling and

1340
01:19:51,780 --> 01:19:55,380
I'll start making those connections and, you know, maybe I'll meet

1341
01:19:55,380 --> 01:19:59,020
some, some new faces and get to share a little bit of piece of

1342
01:19:59,020 --> 01:20:02,740
where we live, you know, you're close by, so. Yeah. Yeah.

1343
01:20:02,740 --> 01:20:06,500
Well, we can't wait to follow along. Thank you so much for your

1344
01:20:06,500 --> 01:20:10,260
time today. I really appreciate it. I think you gave a very real

1345
01:20:10,500 --> 01:20:14,140
and like, wonderful, vulnerable look into like, what

1346
01:20:14,140 --> 01:20:17,750
it's really like to move your family abroad. Thank you so much giving this

1347
01:20:17,750 --> 01:20:21,510
opportunity to tell your story. You know, sometimes when you do something so big, it

1348
01:20:21,510 --> 01:20:24,630
makes you just want to share it with the world, you know, but at the

1349
01:20:24,630 --> 01:20:28,150
same time, you also feel like it's so fragile and you have to, you know,

1350
01:20:28,150 --> 01:20:31,390
keep it safe until it's perfect. But nothing's ever really going to be perfect, you

1351
01:20:31,390 --> 01:20:35,230
know, it's. It's life. No, you know, it's,

1352
01:20:35,470 --> 01:20:39,190
life is wild with kids too, as you know. So. Yeah. Yes,

1353
01:20:39,190 --> 01:20:42,590
it is. Well, thank you so much for having me. Thank you. So wonderful. Bye.

1354
01:20:43,090 --> 01:20:46,690
Bye, guys. Thank you so much for

1355
01:20:46,690 --> 01:20:50,290
listening to today's episode. Don't forget to subscribe,

1356
01:20:50,610 --> 01:20:54,410
rate us and leave a review if you love what you hear and you can

1357
01:20:54,410 --> 01:20:56,690
follow us. On Instagram and TikTok at

1358
01:20:56,770 --> 01:21:00,130
the_eptons. See you guys soon.