1 00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:16,440 A year and a half ago, we risked it all and moved to France. We'll 2 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:20,080 be sharing about our life abroad, how people could do hard things to transform 3 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:23,680 their own lives and everything in between. This is Sophie and 4 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,880 Jordan Epton. Welcome to the Away We Go, We Go podcast. 5 00:00:32,210 --> 00:00:35,930 And welcome back to another episode of Away We 6 00:00:35,930 --> 00:00:39,730 Go, We Go. Running a solo mission 7 00:00:39,730 --> 00:00:43,090 today relieved Sophie of her efforts. 8 00:00:44,689 --> 00:00:48,050 This is round two. This is round two of this episode. 9 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:52,450 So I first and foremost want to 10 00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:56,450 sincerely apologize for not getting this 11 00:00:56,450 --> 00:00:58,370 recording out last week. 12 00:00:59,890 --> 00:01:03,690 I'm gonna not take accountability for this one. I'm gonna blame it 13 00:01:03,690 --> 00:01:07,490 on French wifi. Just screwed me last week and 14 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:10,850 it's kind of funny. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna touch on this because this is 15 00:01:10,850 --> 00:01:14,370 kind of very much related to the episode today. But 16 00:01:14,690 --> 00:01:18,130 before we get into all that, just wanted to say sorry we couldn't get something 17 00:01:18,130 --> 00:01:21,180 out to you last week. We were very excited to and, 18 00:01:21,740 --> 00:01:25,380 you know, nature was stronger than what we were able to deal with, 19 00:01:25,380 --> 00:01:28,860 so couldn't make it happen. So. Happy to be back with you. 20 00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:33,260 Couple little updates. Let's see. Last 21 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:36,780 weekend, got a chance to get the twins outside 22 00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:40,900 to the park to celebrate birthday of some friends, some 23 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:44,580 older kids. They had a blast. They kind of had some life of the party 24 00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:48,150 vibes going on because technically this wasn't really for little 25 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,670 kids. We slipped in under the radar and 26 00:01:52,230 --> 00:01:55,670 the older kids got to do their older kid playing, but also were 27 00:01:56,070 --> 00:01:59,830 very into the twins. And the twins were running 28 00:01:59,830 --> 00:02:03,110 around like crazy people and had a good time just kind of being let loose, 29 00:02:04,310 --> 00:02:07,910 running around where they saw it was okay to run around with some other big 30 00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:11,270 kids. So it was really fun, had a really good time. 31 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:14,930 I also have been hit pretty, pretty aggressively with some 32 00:02:14,930 --> 00:02:18,770 allergies, probably because I was out of the park. So thanks for 33 00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:22,530 nothing. Nature kind of worked 34 00:02:22,530 --> 00:02:25,970 me. Have only had about 75 coughing 35 00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:29,370 attacks in the last two days and 36 00:02:30,010 --> 00:02:33,810 working on getting over that, but I don't think that's any different from when 37 00:02:33,810 --> 00:02:37,050 we were living in Austin. I never had allergies ever 38 00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:40,220 till I moved to Austin and people were telling me that you're going to get 39 00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:43,180 allergies. I'm like, I don't even know what that means. Don't know what it feels 40 00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:46,700 like. And then I got knocked on my ass. And so now here 41 00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:50,860 in the land of mold, amongst other things, 42 00:02:51,740 --> 00:02:55,420 just been kicking my ass. But we're back 43 00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:59,020 at it and it's okay. Made it through this weekend, this 44 00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:02,940 last weekend. Since it's now Sunday night, 45 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:07,570 Sophie And I had a nice little weekend away. Got to 46 00:03:07,570 --> 00:03:10,690 explore a new part of Provence that we haven't 47 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:14,890 explored before. It's about an hour east of Aix, a little over 48 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:18,650 an hour. If you kind of go slightly 49 00:03:18,650 --> 00:03:22,330 northwest from where Saint Tropez is, that's where we were kind 50 00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:25,490 of in the hills. Beautiful, 51 00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:28,770 beautiful area. We got to check out some beautiful new places. 52 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,410 And so that was fun. And now we're back for one more week 53 00:03:34,140 --> 00:03:37,740 before another travel stint coming up, which I'm sure 54 00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,180 Sophie will be sharing plenty on 55 00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:45,380 the Instagram account TikTok or wherever she 56 00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:49,140 uploads that stuff. And, yeah, very 57 00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:52,140 excited for the upcoming travel. Excited for a very 58 00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:56,940 fun hang week with the twins before we're kind of gone for almost 59 00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:59,750 two weeks. And 60 00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:05,190 it'll. It'll be really fun and we're going to try 61 00:04:05,190 --> 00:04:09,030 to keep our momentum with all of this going on. But I 62 00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:12,630 think the whole recording failure from 63 00:04:12,630 --> 00:04:15,270 last week and just kind of where we're at is 64 00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:20,070 very relevant to what I was hoping to tackle today, 65 00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:23,670 which I think it's talked about a decent 66 00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:26,950 amount. We talk about it again, not from any expert 67 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,800 positioning, but I wanted to just share 68 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,960 about some of the things that we do to level 69 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,800 out our mental state specific to 70 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:39,680 moving abroad. 71 00:04:43,039 --> 00:04:46,640 I got to call them hacks. I don't know. I'm not hack 72 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,080 culture. I like hacks. I like learning about hacks. I don't know if I'm 73 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:54,050 capable of providing any, but I do think that 74 00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:55,770 there have been some things that 75 00:04:57,530 --> 00:05:01,250 Sophie and I have kind of done and addressed throughout our 76 00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:05,050 experience here over the last couple years that can really help. 77 00:05:05,530 --> 00:05:09,370 I think it's really easy to romanticize the idea 78 00:05:09,370 --> 00:05:12,010 of starting fresh in another country. 79 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:16,330 Sunshine and wine and cute markets, at least where we are. But 80 00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:20,420 maybe you're going to somewhere more islandy 81 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:24,180 or more somewhere in Costa Rica or 82 00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:28,660 Bali. I don't know. But either way, 83 00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:32,580 it sounds very romantic when you want to do it. And 84 00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:36,700 at the same time, underneath all that, you are away 85 00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:39,780 from what's familiar and you're juggling 86 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,820 new language, a new financial system, 87 00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:47,630 just trying to actually live in a place 88 00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:50,830 sometimes where most people 89 00:05:52,030 --> 00:05:54,990 from, where you are from are vacationing. 90 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:59,590 So this isn't meant to be gimmicky mind hacks 91 00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:02,990 or anything. These are realistic, personal things. 92 00:06:03,870 --> 00:06:07,470 Maybe some tools that can just help feel grounded while you're figuring 93 00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:11,280 things out, because I think it can creep up 94 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:14,360 on you and feel a little bit difficult. So let's get into it. 95 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,520 First one, I think this was 96 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,000 something that we were both kind of aware of, but 97 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,560 not aware of how best to do 98 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,920 micro routines are much 99 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:35,080 better far superior to master plans. I think. 100 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:40,120 Forget the idea of building a perfect new life on 101 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,400 day one, or week one, or month one, 102 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,680 or may even be so bold as to say year one. 103 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:51,000 I think that you just start 104 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,960 really small. Start with coffee, start with a 105 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:58,760 croissant. Regardless, always start with a croissant. It 106 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:02,370 doesn't matter what you're doing, that's the best. But start with something 107 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:06,690 small. Anchor yourself with tiny 108 00:07:06,690 --> 00:07:10,290 rituals. The same cafe that you go to, the 109 00:07:10,290 --> 00:07:13,170 same walking path or market stroll, 110 00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:17,890 the same weekly meal that you cook. I think 111 00:07:17,890 --> 00:07:20,450 this can really help, just 112 00:07:21,730 --> 00:07:25,330 maybe not even trick you into stability, but just give 113 00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:29,130 you some sense of. I think for us it just, 114 00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:32,970 it took a while to even find things that felt 115 00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:37,130 like I want to return to that. I think 116 00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:40,570 that was a huge part of it. You've heard us talk about 117 00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:44,650 a couple of our favorite coffee shops that we go to. I'm 118 00:07:44,650 --> 00:07:48,170 not like a massive coffee 119 00:07:49,530 --> 00:07:53,210 enthusiast. I don't know enough about coffee. 120 00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:57,030 I don't chase flavors. I'm kind 121 00:07:57,030 --> 00:08:00,590 of a utility drinker. But I do like 122 00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:05,950 the setting and just the time I'm giving myself for that. 123 00:08:05,950 --> 00:08:09,430 Sometimes, even if I'm taking it to go, I take it to go and I 124 00:08:09,430 --> 00:08:13,270 go and go for a little walk or do a couple things. 125 00:08:13,270 --> 00:08:16,270 But the culture here is 126 00:08:17,150 --> 00:08:20,510 to sit down and have a coffee. Even for the people that I see are 127 00:08:20,510 --> 00:08:24,150 literally popping in to grab an espresso that takes them 128 00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:27,830 seven seconds to drink before they actually go to work. They're still coming 129 00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:31,270 in. They're spending, I don't know, five, seven, ten minutes 130 00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:35,510 just sitting, maybe reading something, scrolling whatever they're doing. 131 00:08:36,630 --> 00:08:39,110 And I think things like that that you find 132 00:08:40,390 --> 00:08:44,190 again, if it's like there's a specific market or a specific 133 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:47,350 area of the town that you're exploring or have just 134 00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:51,200 discovered that you kind of go and just take a 15 135 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:55,320 minute walk and hit the same path and it's just like 136 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,240 your little mindless recharge. 137 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,680 I think once you get a little bit 138 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:06,440 of rhythm, some of the other mental stresses that do 139 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,040 creep in can really 140 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,160 kind of ground you a bit. So 141 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,320 I think that's the first one. Micro routines 142 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,960 find the little small things that are totally worth 143 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,600 finding a little joy. And again, for me, whether it's coffee or I go to 144 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,440 the boulangerie, either on the way to dropping the twins 145 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:33,280 off or afterwards, oftentimes afterwards, because if I go before, 146 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:37,000 I got to give them a bunch of stuff. They're all hyped up. I'll do 147 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,760 it sometimes. Sometimes it's a me thing. And I will go get that 148 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,200 pound Swiss. That's the like 149 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:47,600 patisserie version of like a Long John donut, but so 150 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,280 much better. It's like that laminated 151 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:55,560 perfect dough with chocolate chips and like a cream that 152 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:59,040 it kind of mixes in with it. And it's. Oh, it's heavenly. Heavenly. 153 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:02,960 That, my friends, is a micro routine 154 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:07,280 that makes me so happy. And even if it's like a 155 00:10:07,570 --> 00:10:11,250 crazy morning or I know something is upcoming, I have 156 00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:14,970 that. It's so nice. So think 157 00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:18,770 about those. But again, moving into the next 158 00:10:18,770 --> 00:10:22,570 one, I'll try to keep this moving, not hover too long on anything. I 159 00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:26,130 think money is just inevitable 160 00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:30,130 to kind of creep up on you. And it's a massive mental stress. 161 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:33,930 Especially when you're moving abroad. It doesn't really matter if 162 00:10:33,930 --> 00:10:37,650 you've come up with a plan, 163 00:10:37,730 --> 00:10:41,570 allocated specific money, budgeted in a certain 164 00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:45,330 way to say I'm going to budget to 165 00:10:45,330 --> 00:10:48,530 live in this certain level of comfort for 166 00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:53,570 six months for a year before I have to really crack down. 167 00:10:54,290 --> 00:10:58,130 I'm just telling you it creeps up. Things come up, you get excited 168 00:10:58,130 --> 00:11:01,820 about something, you get motivated and your money will 169 00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:05,260 disappear faster than a croissant at 170 00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:07,500 9am if you're not paying close attention. 171 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:12,940 There's so many just new things that you don't expect that 172 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:16,620 pop up. Sometimes it's the fun shit. You're like, I'm here, 173 00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:20,300 I want to explore stuff. And then it costs money to 174 00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:24,860 book something or register for something or buy a 175 00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:28,650 ticket for something. But then there's other shit that comes up like 176 00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:32,490 hidden bank fee costs, groceries being 177 00:11:33,290 --> 00:11:37,050 a different cost than you had expected, or subscriptions that 178 00:11:37,050 --> 00:11:40,730 you didn't think you were going to need. Sophie and I are 179 00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:44,610 some weeks really good at this and then some weeks really 180 00:11:44,610 --> 00:11:48,250 shitty at this. And whether it's because we're just 181 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:52,170 focusing on other stuff or we forget or we just really don't want to 182 00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:54,660 and we don't track like 183 00:11:56,820 --> 00:11:59,620 to the, to the level of detail that we should, 184 00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:05,540 it just really does creep up on you and it's, it's something 185 00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:09,060 that I think can add a ton of stress. And if you just 186 00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:13,300 even give yourself like a 60 to 90 day 187 00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:18,100 expense tracking, I think that can kill a 188 00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:21,840 ton of anxiety because there's, there's so many unknowns, there's so much 189 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,600 changing that the financial burden and 190 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:29,400 stress that you could carry around, if you can mitigate that, 191 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:33,120 I think that's a good one. So just recognize 192 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,800 that there are, like, before the move, 193 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:40,360 you can only budget so far. You just don't know. Like, there's going to be 194 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:44,200 so many variables. And even when you're just getting settled, it takes 195 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,710 some time to, like, do something wrong where you're like, 196 00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:50,670 I've been doing that for three months. That's so dumb. I just met somebody and 197 00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:54,270 they told me about this, and holy shit, I'm spending way too much 198 00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:57,750 on this one thing. So just be 199 00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:01,510 mindful about that. But that being 200 00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:05,190 said, the whole mistake thing, I think this kind of leads 201 00:13:05,190 --> 00:13:08,910 into my next point, which, again, we've 202 00:13:08,910 --> 00:13:12,600 talked about this a ton. You're going to make mistakes because 203 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:16,280 you don't know what you don't know. But I think 204 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:20,200 from a mindset standpoint, I don't know 205 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,840 where I heard this. I heard this from somebody else, but they had said, 206 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,160 treat your mistakes as tuition. I 207 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,840 fucking love that. Completely reframes the idea of 208 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,440 I'm going to fuck up and I'm going to feel like shit about it and/or 209 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,240 be embarrassed about it. Like, mistakes 210 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,920 are just part of the deal, and it's 211 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,280 okay because you're going to have awkward moments. But those 212 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:51,120 awkward moments don't have to just be failures. They can be your 213 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,640 tuition, they can be your investment. Think of 214 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:59,000 every misstep as a down payment toward more 215 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:02,640 fluency, more competence. Reframe it 216 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,690 as learning. The other day I 217 00:14:06,690 --> 00:14:10,290 went into the grocery store, just one of the little markets next to 218 00:14:10,290 --> 00:14:14,050 me, and there's a guy that works there that's 219 00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:17,850 like a super extroverted guy. He's, like, really goofy, 220 00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:21,610 just fun, nice guy. Speaks so 221 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:25,170 goddamn fast that I went in there and it was like, I just dropped the 222 00:14:25,170 --> 00:14:28,650 twins off. I had to grab a couple things. Brain was 223 00:14:28,730 --> 00:14:32,320 not into, hey, let's have a conversation, 224 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:36,000 especially in French. And I saw him and I walked up to him. 225 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,640 He's in this corner of the store where I was going. And so I extended 226 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:43,280 my hand. He extended his hand. Mine was going for a fist bump. He went 227 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:47,120 to shake my hand, then we swapped, and then he started cracking all 228 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,960 these jokes, and I couldn't understand a fucking thing that he said. And 229 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:54,640 he's saying them really fast and then laughing, then being 230 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:58,490 super silly. And I'm just like, yeah, no fucking clue what 231 00:14:58,490 --> 00:15:02,290 you're saying, man. And just wanted to get some fruit packs for the 232 00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:05,570 twins and some crackers and get the fuck out of here. And it was just 233 00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:09,410 really funny because I just did that thing where I'M just 234 00:15:09,410 --> 00:15:13,170 kind of laughing because he's laughing. And then try to change my 235 00:15:13,170 --> 00:15:16,090 face to just mirror whatever he was doing just so he wouldn't 236 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:20,810 realize that I didn't know what he was talking about. And there was a split 237 00:15:20,810 --> 00:15:23,990 second where I'm just like, oh, my God, dude, this is so awkward. I don't 238 00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:27,630 know what you're saying. And then I was just like, gives a shit. Literally, who 239 00:15:27,630 --> 00:15:31,350 gives a shit? And sometimes I have 240 00:15:33,190 --> 00:15:37,030 the wherewithal to be in that moment and say, 241 00:15:37,030 --> 00:15:40,790 doesn't even matter from understanding what they're saying. Just pick out words, just identify words. 242 00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:44,430 Identify that I understand that word and then that word and then that 243 00:15:44,430 --> 00:15:47,590 word. And is it enough for me to walk out of here 244 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,880 and try to put that sentence together? Because that's like, that's 1% 245 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:55,440 better type shit. So forget about 246 00:15:56,320 --> 00:16:00,040 the mistakes being a problem and just look at them as 247 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:03,760 part of your investment. Again, treat the mistakes as tuition. 248 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:07,480 I don't know where I heard that, but I fucking love it. And I think 249 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:10,160 it's a great thing to be aware of. 250 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,600 One of the things that can really help with that leading into my next point, 251 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,040 number four is it can really help 252 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:22,240 if you can lean on somebody 253 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,320 and not just like an anybody thing, but 254 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,760 an anchor person, somebody who is local, 255 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,680 somebody who understands 256 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:37,320 where you're at to a degree, what you're going through, has the patience for 257 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:40,760 you. I think that that's huge because 258 00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:44,870 those mistakes feel way less like 259 00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:48,630 mistakes. Obviously, being social, building community 260 00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:52,830 is awesome. I'm not going to lie and say that it's really 261 00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:56,230 easy to do because based on your 262 00:16:56,230 --> 00:16:59,910 circumstances, you'll find that it's easy to meet certain types of people. 263 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:04,070 We have young kids going to school. I spend a shit ton of time there. 264 00:17:04,470 --> 00:17:08,119 That's where it's going to be easiest for me right now. When I was living 265 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:11,519 in Argentina and I was single, I could go to a salsa class, I can 266 00:17:11,519 --> 00:17:15,319 go play soccer, I could go party, do whatever, and I 267 00:17:15,559 --> 00:17:18,679 can meet people regularly doing that. 268 00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:22,759 So, it just depends on, again, 269 00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:25,639 your circumstance and what you're able to do. But 270 00:17:27,399 --> 00:17:30,119 I don't think that you need immediately to 271 00:17:31,159 --> 00:17:34,320 try to get this massive group of friends 272 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,120 again. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do that. I'm just saying 273 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,480 don't get overwhelmed if you building 274 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,640 out friendships is slow. You only need 275 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:50,960 a couple people to start. And I think having 276 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,720 again, at least one anchor person, a local, a 277 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:58,370 neighbor, somebody at the coffee shop or at the, the 278 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,410 bakery or where, whatever it is that you kind of frequent 279 00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:06,370 find if it's a coworker, whoever it is, 280 00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:10,490 just find somebody that like you see on the regular, they start to 281 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:13,890 recognize like, oh, you're here, I see you a lot, we're 282 00:18:14,210 --> 00:18:17,890 interacting a lot. And you build that relationship, you build 283 00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:21,490 that rapport. It can be so helpful. You can ask them 284 00:18:21,490 --> 00:18:24,530 questions. I, I joke, you know, in French, 285 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,280 teacher is professor. So I always say merci 286 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:33,080 professor. Whenever one of my friends says, oh no, no, this is the word 287 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,760 for that, or say it like this or when they correct 288 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:40,040 me, just like a stupid, stupid joke. But 289 00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:44,600 it's just reflecting on the relationship I have with 290 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,440 that person that they're willing to teach me stuff they're willing to. 291 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:52,140 And again, not just language related, but just life 292 00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:56,780 stuff, how things work here, how to make things easier, things to 293 00:18:56,780 --> 00:19:00,500 go and do that aren't super costly, that can be really fun 294 00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:04,300 that them and their friends might be doing if they're working and 295 00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:07,900 they're not on vacation. It's hard 296 00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:12,980 to know what things aren't going to break the bank if you try to do 297 00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:16,340 them all the time. But you can still have fun, et cetera. So find an 298 00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:18,950 anchor person and, and invest in them. 299 00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:22,790 Bring them a little treat, show gratitude. 300 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:27,030 I have a couple friends here that I try to take care of with 301 00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:30,870 just little stuff here and there. Ask them if they need something or bring them, 302 00:19:31,190 --> 00:19:34,030 if I know it's a busy day, I'll bring them a snack or something like 303 00:19:34,030 --> 00:19:37,590 that. And it's just friendship type shit. 304 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:41,670 But I know that it's helpful for them, it means something to them 305 00:19:41,670 --> 00:19:45,310 and in return they're so much more patient with me when 306 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:48,990 I'm acting the fool. So definitely an anchor 307 00:19:48,990 --> 00:19:52,630 person can be very useful and just 308 00:19:52,870 --> 00:19:56,390 good for your overall mood. But going into the next point, 309 00:19:56,390 --> 00:20:00,110 speaking about the vacation life, I think it's normal 310 00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:03,390 that I grew up in Chicago, I was living in Austin for a little bit. 311 00:20:03,390 --> 00:20:07,190 If I'm going to move somewhere, I'm not moving somewhere that's a Cleveland 312 00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:11,360 in another country. Like nothing against Cleveland, but 313 00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:15,160 I wouldn't ever move to Cleveland myself. I don't have a reason to. I 314 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:18,720 wanted to move to the south of France. To me, that had some allure. But 315 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:22,880 this is a place where a lot of people vacation. So again, like I mentioned 316 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:26,200 earlier, if you're, you know, maybe you move to a beach town or a St. 317 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,880 Lucia or somewhere in Costa Rica or Bali. A place that people 318 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,560 are vacationing. Vacation is not real life. You 319 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:37,290 can live where people vacation, but you can't live 320 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:40,650 like you're on vacation. So 321 00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:45,130 just it seems a little bit obvious, but 322 00:20:45,130 --> 00:20:48,730 I just think it was relevant to call out, like, balance the 323 00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:51,930 treats with the grounding choices and 324 00:20:52,810 --> 00:20:56,130 just remember that like, if you 325 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:58,730 moved where you moved to live, 326 00:21:00,420 --> 00:21:04,260 like you're going to have a lot of phone calls with people back home. Oh 327 00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:07,020 my God, tell me what it's like, what have you been doing, where you've been 328 00:21:07,020 --> 00:21:10,180 eating, where you've been going and exploring and adventuring and 329 00:21:10,980 --> 00:21:14,420 you might have like a month where you ain't doing shit. 330 00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:18,100 Maybe you're saving money for like a really cool bigger excursion. Or 331 00:21:18,740 --> 00:21:22,500 maybe you just rented an apartment that you 332 00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:26,060 had to furnish and kind of put you out for a little bit and you 333 00:21:26,060 --> 00:21:29,640 got to be really tight because you needed to get this whole thing set up. 334 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:33,360 But it was worth it. So you're not going to be doing crazy 335 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:37,120 activities for a while. And I have those conversations all the time where 336 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:40,920 it's like, hey, what updates do you have for me, Jordan? And it's 337 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,680 like, don't just kind of been grinding and working and 338 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,680 taking the kids to school and doing all the things. I mean, have some updates. 339 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:51,240 But then people get really disappointed. It's like, I'm not on vacation. 340 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:55,960 I'm not going out every day and doing all these crazy things. 341 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,160 I have life shit to do and that's okay. But 342 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:03,720 the vacation stuff type stuff that I want to do 343 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:07,640 is very accessible and so I can still balance some of 344 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:11,400 those things. Like I said this last weekend, Sophie and I got to explore 345 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:15,040 a new part of Provence that we haven't been to. And that feels like that 346 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,840 exploration and adventure and checking new things out. 347 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:23,380 But going back to point two about money creeping up 348 00:22:23,380 --> 00:22:27,220 on you, you can't live like you're on vacation when you're doing 349 00:22:27,220 --> 00:22:31,060 real life shit. And if you want to keep your 350 00:22:31,060 --> 00:22:33,820 sanity intact and your wallet intact, 351 00:22:34,540 --> 00:22:36,300 just pace yourself. 352 00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:41,900 You're moving abroad, if that's the thing that we're talking about. 353 00:22:41,980 --> 00:22:45,100 And it's not 354 00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:49,190 just to vacation even. I've met friends 355 00:22:50,230 --> 00:22:53,950 in the last two plus years here. I've met multiple people 356 00:22:53,950 --> 00:22:57,750 that have become friends that are doing a sabbatical where it's a temporary 357 00:22:57,750 --> 00:23:00,870 visit. Some people are extending longer. Some people, 358 00:23:01,350 --> 00:23:04,670 that's their time and they go back and they're trying to take 359 00:23:04,670 --> 00:23:08,510 advantage while they can. But at the same time, week in and week 360 00:23:08,510 --> 00:23:12,310 out, they're still working and they're still doing other stuff. Other people who've been 361 00:23:13,050 --> 00:23:16,850 less in the work sabbatical are taking advantage and 362 00:23:16,850 --> 00:23:20,610 doing a bunch of cool stuff. But again, also still just having 363 00:23:20,610 --> 00:23:24,210 to live. They're not retired where they're like, I got 364 00:23:24,210 --> 00:23:27,970 unlimited funds because I've spent my life working for this and budgeted for this 365 00:23:27,970 --> 00:23:31,410 and I can do whatever I want. Which I don't know if anybody's doing that 366 00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:35,170 anyways. But again, I think it just. It's totally 367 00:23:35,170 --> 00:23:39,010 okay to not feel like you're doing something crazy 368 00:23:39,010 --> 00:23:42,760 every day or every week. Just try to balance it a little 369 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,360 bit. Know that it's totally fine if you just hermit yourself 370 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:50,160 for a long time to just kind of get in the mode 371 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,360 of where you're living. I think that 372 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:57,360 the balancing act of everything from 373 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:02,080 money to mindset to vacation versus real 374 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,960 life stuff, there are some other 375 00:24:06,330 --> 00:24:10,090 things that can be kind of heavy. And language 376 00:24:10,090 --> 00:24:13,930 fatigue is a huge one. Obviously relevant 377 00:24:13,930 --> 00:24:17,290 if you're moving to a country where it's not your native language, 378 00:24:18,410 --> 00:24:22,170 not actually speaking to learning 379 00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:25,770 the new language, but actually protecting your native 380 00:24:25,770 --> 00:24:29,530 language time as well. Language fatigue is real, 381 00:24:30,330 --> 00:24:34,050 not just mental, but physical. Physical. I remember my 382 00:24:34,050 --> 00:24:37,770 experience with learning French is different than what it 383 00:24:37,770 --> 00:24:40,890 was. Learning Spanish in Buenos Aires when I was living there, 384 00:24:41,290 --> 00:24:45,050 that was super intense for me. When I 385 00:24:45,050 --> 00:24:48,570 was in Argentina, I was taking 386 00:24:48,890 --> 00:24:52,730 Spanish classes three hours a day, four days a week 387 00:24:52,730 --> 00:24:56,570 for four months straight. Then I moved into the residencia, 388 00:24:56,570 --> 00:24:59,960 which had 30 Argentinians, two 389 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:03,520 Colombians and me. And when I was 390 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,880 really immersing myself, I was 391 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,600 trying all day, every day to speak as much Spanish as I 392 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:14,400 possibly could. And I had the means to be able to do it 393 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,880 again. Right now I have young twins, we speak mostly English at home. 394 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,800 And I'm working and I speak a lot of English for work. 395 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,740 So I don't have the same opportunity and exposure 396 00:25:26,740 --> 00:25:30,260 for speaking French all day like I did. So when I was 397 00:25:30,340 --> 00:25:33,980 learning Spanish, I would come home from 398 00:25:33,980 --> 00:25:37,820 like a day of work where I was still teaching English, but they were like 399 00:25:37,820 --> 00:25:41,580 hour long sessions. But the rest of the time it was full on 400 00:25:41,580 --> 00:25:44,980 Spanish, going to class. I would come home at like 401 00:25:45,220 --> 00:25:48,300 6pm Something like that. I would be fucking 402 00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:52,070 torched. Like my body would be dead because my 403 00:25:52,070 --> 00:25:55,750 mind was in overdrive. And it is just really 404 00:25:55,830 --> 00:25:59,430 exhausting and uncomfortable a lot of the time. 405 00:25:59,510 --> 00:26:02,630 And I think the whole point of this is 406 00:26:02,950 --> 00:26:06,750 it's totally okay to just binge Netflix series in 407 00:26:06,750 --> 00:26:10,390 your own language and be guilt free 408 00:26:10,390 --> 00:26:14,230 about it. You know, use of your native tongue is 409 00:26:14,470 --> 00:26:18,030 actually brain recovery. It's not regression 410 00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:22,750 like exercising and working out. You can take a rest day, 411 00:26:22,990 --> 00:26:26,790 maybe A rest week, maybe you work out seven weeks straight and you 412 00:26:26,790 --> 00:26:30,510 take a week off. Again, not a fitness trainer. So I don't know 413 00:26:30,510 --> 00:26:33,470 what's good or bad for you, but I do know that rest is essential 414 00:26:34,990 --> 00:26:37,950 and it's okay to recharge and then come back 415 00:26:38,590 --> 00:26:42,030 and feel stronger, be stronger. And I think from a language 416 00:26:42,030 --> 00:26:45,610 perspective, it's the same thing. Put effort into learning the language, but 417 00:26:45,610 --> 00:26:48,690 then don't feel guilty when you want to 418 00:26:49,410 --> 00:26:53,010 call friends from home or have an 419 00:26:53,010 --> 00:26:56,770 expat outing where you can speak your native language. 420 00:26:57,730 --> 00:27:01,250 I think that that's really important. And there's no 421 00:27:02,690 --> 00:27:06,090 full on black or white where you move to the new country and you can 422 00:27:06,090 --> 00:27:09,650 only speak that language forever. Otherwise you're a piece of 423 00:27:09,650 --> 00:27:12,240 shit. It's just not the case. Right? 424 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:16,640 It's totally fine to meet friends 425 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,600 that speak your language and just have those experiences. 426 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:24,360 So I think it's important to protect while you're putting in 427 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:28,200 the effort to learn the language of country that you're living in, 428 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,360 if it's different than your native tongue. I think 429 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,810 going into my next point, all 430 00:27:36,810 --> 00:27:40,530 of these things kind of like tie into this and lead up 431 00:27:40,530 --> 00:27:44,010 to it coming out of the language. Talk here. 432 00:27:45,130 --> 00:27:48,810 It can be really frustrating. And I think it's really important 433 00:27:48,970 --> 00:27:52,170 to have a frustration exit strategy. 434 00:27:54,090 --> 00:27:57,930 This is like when you're seeing 435 00:27:57,930 --> 00:28:00,490 red or you're getting a headache, 436 00:28:01,610 --> 00:28:05,060 or you're overly embarrassed and just exhausted from that 437 00:28:05,060 --> 00:28:08,740 feeling, or things just aren't working. It's 438 00:28:08,740 --> 00:28:10,980 really good to have an exit strategy. 439 00:28:12,740 --> 00:28:16,580 Talk about frustrating. There's just so many things that 440 00:28:16,580 --> 00:28:20,420 come up that are frustrating. And if you're like, 441 00:28:20,420 --> 00:28:24,220 eyes are blaring red or you're just like so exhausted or 442 00:28:24,220 --> 00:28:28,060 you just fucking cry because you're like, I don't even know what 443 00:28:28,060 --> 00:28:30,980 else to do. I don't know what emotion to feel right now. 444 00:28:31,740 --> 00:28:34,620 And I just like can't deal with this. 445 00:28:35,420 --> 00:28:38,300 Have some outlets, some 446 00:28:39,580 --> 00:28:43,020 exit strategies for your stress and your frustration 447 00:28:43,660 --> 00:28:47,180 where you can just totally 448 00:28:47,980 --> 00:28:51,020 reset and recharge yourself. I think 449 00:28:51,740 --> 00:28:54,780 it's so important to have that. Call home, 450 00:28:55,340 --> 00:28:58,950 call family, call friends, go on a 451 00:28:58,950 --> 00:29:02,710 walk. This might come as a shock to you, but I might 452 00:29:02,710 --> 00:29:06,350 suggest going and getting a croissant because that pretty much solves 453 00:29:06,350 --> 00:29:09,870 everything. Nearly everything in the world can be solved by a 454 00:29:09,870 --> 00:29:12,910 croissant. But the point is, don't let 455 00:29:13,470 --> 00:29:16,430 a single frustration wreck your whole day. 456 00:29:17,070 --> 00:29:20,710 This is obviously not just for living abroad, 457 00:29:20,710 --> 00:29:24,530 this is for anything that you're doing that is hard if you're 458 00:29:24,530 --> 00:29:28,090 starting a new business or new company or a new job 459 00:29:28,170 --> 00:29:31,770 or a new relationship or whatever it is. 460 00:29:32,490 --> 00:29:35,210 Don't let one thing completely derail you. 461 00:29:36,010 --> 00:29:39,690 Have some rituals that can be 462 00:29:40,410 --> 00:29:43,530 a guilt free exit 463 00:29:43,530 --> 00:29:46,810 strategy and outlet for you. 464 00:29:47,290 --> 00:29:51,040 Again, for me, whether it's coffee, whether it's playing music, 465 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,640 calling friends from home, stealing away 466 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:58,440 Sophie for a quick date night, something like that, just something to 467 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:01,600 look forward to. Something that's like, I need to have this 468 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:05,440 around weekly at my fingertips, whether it's 469 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:09,240 scheduled or not. I need to be ready for this because I'm 470 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,560 running into a bunch of shit. And if it just totally 471 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:17,330 derails you mentally, that can 472 00:30:17,330 --> 00:30:21,130 last for way longer than you'll want it to. So I think having 473 00:30:21,850 --> 00:30:24,810 these little outlets can be super beneficial. 474 00:30:25,450 --> 00:30:29,010 I want to tie the next point. I don't have a savvy 475 00:30:29,010 --> 00:30:32,730 fucking transition into this. But I want to go back to the social 476 00:30:33,770 --> 00:30:37,610 kind of outlook. I think I'm going to double 477 00:30:37,610 --> 00:30:40,970 down on go slow. Go slow for the social 478 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,800 side of things. There can be this like feeling 479 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,680 of like being on the hunt for instant 480 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:52,480 besties. And it's really easy to do a lot 481 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:57,279 if you even put in minimal effort because you're 482 00:30:57,279 --> 00:31:00,560 going to meet people that are in a similar situation as you and 483 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,520 that can really warrant a really 484 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,680 healthy interaction and you can make friends really quickly. 485 00:31:08,490 --> 00:31:12,330 But I think one of the challenging things when 486 00:31:12,330 --> 00:31:15,690 you make a big move is 487 00:31:16,170 --> 00:31:19,690 already referenced this in this episode, that 488 00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:23,530 it's very transient what we're doing, 489 00:31:24,170 --> 00:31:27,850 right? And so you might meet a 490 00:31:27,850 --> 00:31:31,530 really fucking cool person that is at the tail end of 491 00:31:31,530 --> 00:31:35,350 their experience or they're about to move or 492 00:31:35,510 --> 00:31:38,590 they're just traveling through and you happen to meet them at a time when they 493 00:31:38,590 --> 00:31:42,270 were posting up for a handful of days. And it 494 00:31:42,270 --> 00:31:45,910 can be really awesome to meet people 495 00:31:45,910 --> 00:31:49,190 like that. And then it can be really sad 496 00:31:49,590 --> 00:31:52,230 because you'll meet some awesome people. And then 497 00:31:53,190 --> 00:31:56,990 it's like, oh man, this is a cool experience. But yeah, we're moving 498 00:31:56,990 --> 00:32:00,710 back or we're moving on to the next location 499 00:32:00,950 --> 00:32:04,550 or they're not even living there, they're just traveling through and you 500 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:09,000 meet them and have good experiences. And it can be really hard because you 501 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,520 feel like you have to continually reset your 502 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,000 social circle and that can be really 503 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,520 taxing on your mental state. And I 504 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:23,120 think a good way to kind of level that 505 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,760 side of your mental state out is just go slow, join 506 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,920 low pressure groups, language exchanges or 507 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,770 different clubs, different meetups for different 508 00:32:34,770 --> 00:32:38,490 things, go on hikes or walks and be a regular 509 00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:41,890 somewhere. But let friendships build 510 00:32:41,890 --> 00:32:45,130 slowly and naturally again. Depends on your 511 00:32:45,210 --> 00:32:48,970 situation, where you were coming from before a move like this. But 512 00:32:49,370 --> 00:32:53,090 you might have been where home has always been. You 513 00:32:53,090 --> 00:32:56,090 might be where you went to college or 514 00:32:56,970 --> 00:33:00,230 you're really good friends with a lot of people that you work with. And 515 00:33:00,710 --> 00:33:04,310 it's just really easy, it's built in to have these social 516 00:33:04,310 --> 00:33:07,910 circles and multiple social circles that overlap 517 00:33:08,230 --> 00:33:11,430 and you'll still find that. But again, it's just, 518 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:15,710 it can be different. And I think if you pace yourself 519 00:33:15,710 --> 00:33:19,550 and say, I'm doing this experience for me, so 520 00:33:19,550 --> 00:33:23,310 whether or not I'm being social and checking out a new museum 521 00:33:23,310 --> 00:33:26,920 or going on a hike or hitting this beach up with new 522 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:30,520 friends, like sometimes you will, 523 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:34,160 sometimes you won't. But I think that awareness 524 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:37,120 of the guilt, that 525 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:41,000 maybe guilt's not even the best thing, but we'll go with that for now. The 526 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,640 guilt that could come along with it can just make you feel 527 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:48,480 like you're not doing good enough, you're not being social enough. 528 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,660 And I think building friendships 529 00:33:54,140 --> 00:33:57,580 in general is like a really cool experience, 530 00:33:57,820 --> 00:34:01,620 but it just doesn't happen with everyone. So take 531 00:34:01,620 --> 00:34:03,100 your time and 532 00:34:05,180 --> 00:34:08,860 don't hold yourself to some crazy standard that just 533 00:34:08,860 --> 00:34:12,460 because you were crazy social and have a shit ton of friends somewhere that 534 00:34:12,620 --> 00:34:15,740 that's just going to happen immediately. Because it could. 535 00:34:16,629 --> 00:34:20,189 And then it could disappoint you if it's transient or people kind of change and 536 00:34:20,189 --> 00:34:23,789 move on, or best case scenario, it 537 00:34:23,789 --> 00:34:26,589 works really great and you can just write me and tell me to go fuck 538 00:34:26,589 --> 00:34:30,429 myself. Be like, maybe you're a weirdo and it's way easier to 539 00:34:30,429 --> 00:34:34,229 make friends and maintain them than it is for you, Jordan. 540 00:34:34,709 --> 00:34:38,429 So noted. Received. Appreciate the feedback and 541 00:34:38,429 --> 00:34:41,909 the honesty. Don't be a dick. Point. 542 00:34:42,510 --> 00:34:46,310 Let's go to point. Are they points? Bullet number 543 00:34:46,310 --> 00:34:49,870 nine, work. Not everybody's working. 544 00:34:49,950 --> 00:34:53,150 But again, talking about the whole livelihood thing, if you're going to stay for an 545 00:34:53,150 --> 00:34:56,670 extended period of time, you're going to be working. If not, and you're like a 546 00:34:56,670 --> 00:34:59,950 trust fund person, good for you. Props to you. 547 00:35:00,750 --> 00:35:04,470 I am not that we are not that majority of us are 548 00:35:04,470 --> 00:35:07,230 not that we have to work. Got to find your way. However, 549 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,800 work can also be an anchor, not a 550 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,200 burden. I think that your 551 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:19,000 identity, again, you're moving abroad, right? Or 552 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,240 doing something big and new and scary. 553 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:26,160 There's some element of that that will be 554 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,560 your identity work. I think people 555 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:33,800 sometimes have a fear that if they're not, if it's 556 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:37,480 not their company, if they're not obsessed with their job, that it's a job 557 00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:41,440 and it's not their identity. And they're very, you know, people can be, 558 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:45,160 I think, general pretty sensitive to 559 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,480 having work be their identity. But I think in 560 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,920 a situation like this, treating work as 561 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,520 structure alongside identity 562 00:35:56,520 --> 00:36:00,240 when everything else feels in flux can give 563 00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:03,640 you a really steady base. I think this is just a perspective thing, 564 00:36:04,300 --> 00:36:07,900 but I think work can be one of those things that again, 565 00:36:07,900 --> 00:36:11,580 maybe the work that you're doing is something brand 566 00:36:11,580 --> 00:36:15,100 new based on your circumstances of moving, but 567 00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:19,140 for a lot of people where it's not that work doesn't have 568 00:36:19,140 --> 00:36:22,460 to be a burden that's taking you away from doing cool shit. It can be 569 00:36:22,460 --> 00:36:26,220 the stability that allows your brain to rest a little bit 570 00:36:26,860 --> 00:36:29,980 while you're focusing on doing the stuff that you know. 571 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:34,400 I think work gives you structure and it can just be really helpful 572 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:38,240 to have that, but to stay motivated. And 573 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:41,640 this is going to be my last point. You also have to celebrate. 574 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:45,840 Got to celebrate the small victories. Celebrate not 575 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,080 just small victories, but celebrate ordinary wins. 576 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:52,440 Like celebrate shit that you wouldn't celebrate 577 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,850 back home. Opening up a bank 578 00:36:56,850 --> 00:36:59,970 account, finding that 579 00:37:00,610 --> 00:37:04,290 route to shortcut to get 580 00:37:04,290 --> 00:37:07,450 you to this place you've been going to for weeks on end or months on 581 00:37:07,450 --> 00:37:11,290 end and you finally found the shortcut. Or you opened a bank account or you 582 00:37:11,290 --> 00:37:14,970 got a SIM card for your phone. Little 583 00:37:14,970 --> 00:37:18,050 things that are like, yeah, I have to do this, but 584 00:37:19,250 --> 00:37:22,590 it's so worth it to just celebrate ordinary shit. 585 00:37:23,230 --> 00:37:26,030 I'll be honest with you, I pat myself on the back all the fucking time 586 00:37:26,830 --> 00:37:30,510 because I'm proud of myself. Also because Sophie is very 587 00:37:30,590 --> 00:37:34,310 high functioning and she's just good at doing shit. So for me, I'm just like, 588 00:37:34,310 --> 00:37:37,710 hey, I did something good too. But 589 00:37:37,870 --> 00:37:41,230 these ordinary wins, these simple wins, these things that 590 00:37:42,270 --> 00:37:45,230 you just kind of figure out new shit, you 591 00:37:45,710 --> 00:37:49,460 ordered lunch or took a phone call. In the language that 592 00:37:49,460 --> 00:37:53,260 you're learning, you've figured out 593 00:37:53,260 --> 00:37:56,620 transit in a good way. These are 594 00:37:56,780 --> 00:38:00,300 milestones and you should document them and you should 595 00:38:00,300 --> 00:38:03,980 celebrate them. I'm not saying you got to call your friends back home and 596 00:38:03,980 --> 00:38:07,660 say, I just did an ordinary thing because they're going to be like, 597 00:38:07,820 --> 00:38:11,580 great. Unless they're super supportive friends and they're like, hey, that's pretty 598 00:38:11,580 --> 00:38:14,020 cool that you did that in a new country where you didn't speak the language 599 00:38:14,020 --> 00:38:17,340 and it's bright, brand new for you and hey, that's great. You're like 600 00:38:18,300 --> 00:38:21,740 figuring shit out again. It sounds silly, but 601 00:38:21,980 --> 00:38:25,340 this is the capital that you want to have 602 00:38:26,620 --> 00:38:29,420 to refer to 603 00:38:31,180 --> 00:38:34,900 when you're feeling really stressed out. You can have a shitty 604 00:38:34,900 --> 00:38:38,740 day and then still be proud of yourself for still pushing and 605 00:38:38,740 --> 00:38:42,000 trying something. So celebrate ordinary wins. 606 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:47,800 Do these things that again, you would never celebrate for 607 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,320 yourself, but you deserve to celebrate that 608 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:54,480 because it's a hard thing that you're doing. 609 00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,680 So I love the idea of celebrating 610 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:03,000 having kind of planned out this whole episode. It 611 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:06,840 just got me excited because whenever I do get 612 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:10,520 to have personal conversations with other expats, 613 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:14,160 with people that we've met from this podcast or from the Instagram account 614 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:17,920 who've moved here or had just reached out, it's 615 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:21,600 like this kind of stuff comes up all the time. It's 616 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:25,080 not so much to just complain about the things that are hard, but 617 00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,440 hard things happen and leveling 618 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,080 your mindset and your mental state. 619 00:39:33,090 --> 00:39:36,370 It's just so important. So that was my list of 10. 620 00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:40,610 You know, again, it's not about eliminating stress. 621 00:39:41,170 --> 00:39:44,930 It's just about building enough small anchors, routines, 622 00:39:45,490 --> 00:39:48,850 awareness, relationships, resets, 623 00:39:49,410 --> 00:39:52,690 things that you can actually enjoy 624 00:39:53,650 --> 00:39:57,130 the adventure with instead of being 625 00:39:57,130 --> 00:40:00,910 crushed by it. When maybe you have a day where 626 00:40:00,910 --> 00:40:04,710 you made three mistakes, or maybe in one week 627 00:40:04,710 --> 00:40:08,550 you make two really colossal mistakes that force you 628 00:40:08,550 --> 00:40:12,350 to do shit you don't want to do, or pay a 629 00:40:12,350 --> 00:40:15,910 lot of money or whatever it is, just 630 00:40:17,030 --> 00:40:20,830 use these small anchors, whichever ones make the most sense for 631 00:40:20,830 --> 00:40:24,630 you. I'm always open to an upgrade, so if you have suggestions, reach 632 00:40:24,630 --> 00:40:28,260 out. But I think this is a pretty solid list of just 633 00:40:28,260 --> 00:40:31,500 being mentally aware and having permission 634 00:40:32,220 --> 00:40:35,740 to say, yeah, it's okay that I fucked this up 635 00:40:36,460 --> 00:40:39,500 and feels like a really big fuck up, but 636 00:40:40,140 --> 00:40:43,100 I'm going to deal with it, I'm going to get through it, but I'm not 637 00:40:43,100 --> 00:40:46,540 going to let it crush me and completely eat 638 00:40:46,780 --> 00:40:50,380 my day or my week. Moving abroad will 639 00:40:50,380 --> 00:40:54,220 always have its challenges, but I think if you do stack 640 00:40:54,220 --> 00:40:57,060 some of these little habits, you'll find yourself 641 00:40:58,100 --> 00:41:01,780 really doing better than 642 00:41:01,780 --> 00:41:05,540 you ever thought you would. In my brain, I just went 643 00:41:05,540 --> 00:41:09,220 to the whole, you're not just surviving, you're thriving. I think it's played out, 644 00:41:09,620 --> 00:41:12,980 but at the same time it's kind of relevant 645 00:41:14,420 --> 00:41:17,860 because there's a lot of survival in a move like this. 646 00:41:18,650 --> 00:41:22,490 But I think that when you find these little 647 00:41:22,490 --> 00:41:26,090 things, these little routines, and you give yourself the grace to 648 00:41:26,090 --> 00:41:29,810 enjoy them and know that it's 649 00:41:29,810 --> 00:41:33,490 okay to enjoy stuff even if you made 650 00:41:33,490 --> 00:41:36,410 a massive mistake, even if you made a massive mistake that 651 00:41:36,650 --> 00:41:39,690 impacted other people, it's still 652 00:41:40,170 --> 00:41:43,970 okay to just level yourself out so 653 00:41:43,970 --> 00:41:47,820 that you can continue to be the best version of yourself. All right, I. I 654 00:41:47,820 --> 00:41:51,380 feel like I'm in the Sophie saying land the plane 655 00:41:51,540 --> 00:41:55,060 part of this episode. So I'm going to wrap it up by saying 656 00:41:55,060 --> 00:41:58,820 thank you. Thanks for tuning in. Thank you for your patience. Thanks for your 657 00:41:58,820 --> 00:42:02,020 understanding that we missed last week. We've been really 658 00:42:02,180 --> 00:42:05,140 pushing ourselves and and working really hard 659 00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:09,460 to deliver on time and get really 660 00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:14,110 valuable quality information 661 00:42:14,590 --> 00:42:18,390 sharing. Again, I'm hoping that it's coming across that way 662 00:42:18,390 --> 00:42:22,230 that you listener are finding good shit from this to 663 00:42:22,230 --> 00:42:25,630 help. I hope things resonate, but again, 664 00:42:26,110 --> 00:42:29,310 really appreciate the opportunity to even do this 665 00:42:30,430 --> 00:42:33,710 and to hear feedback that we've heard. And 666 00:42:34,030 --> 00:42:37,390 again, thanks for your patience and letting us slip on a week and 667 00:42:37,770 --> 00:42:41,290 and come back if you feel like this would help. Anybody 668 00:42:41,450 --> 00:42:44,930 that you talk to about this kind of stuff, whether it's 669 00:42:44,930 --> 00:42:48,730 mindset stuff, moving abroad stuff, in my case France stuff, 670 00:42:49,450 --> 00:42:53,210 any and all, please share the episode. Please share the 671 00:42:53,690 --> 00:42:57,290 account on Instagram or the podcast in general. 672 00:42:58,250 --> 00:43:01,930 We love the community. We love continuing to build it out. So 673 00:43:02,650 --> 00:43:06,410 if you know somebody who's dreaming right now in 674 00:43:06,410 --> 00:43:09,570 the dreaming stage or struggling with 675 00:43:10,210 --> 00:43:14,050 their own move abroad, please share this and reach out. 676 00:43:14,130 --> 00:43:17,570 Because again, we love the interaction, we love the community, 677 00:43:17,810 --> 00:43:21,530 we love the opportunity for friendships and this has 678 00:43:21,530 --> 00:43:25,170 been super fun. So if you have any suggestions or 679 00:43:25,250 --> 00:43:29,050 better examples of ways to help level mental 680 00:43:29,050 --> 00:43:32,450 state, I'm all ears. Would love to do round two or something similar. 681 00:43:32,530 --> 00:43:36,120 So, thank you. I love you. Have a lovely 682 00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:39,880 day. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. 683 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:44,200 Don't forget to subscribe, rate us and leave a review if you love 684 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,920 what you hear and you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok 685 00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:51,720 @Heptons. See you guys soon.