Isaac Allen Burns: Hey. It's a podcast. Everybody, come on in. Welcome to this episode of DodoBorne, a actual play Daggerheart podcast. Daggerheart, for those who are unaware, is a fantasy tabletop role playing game developed by the lovely people over at Darrington Press, aka the people who do Critical Role.
The campaign that we will be running is a modified version of the five banners burning campaign frame that you can find within the book. Obviously, modified for our purposes as everyone should. But without further ado, let me introduce the person on my left, Rowan Collins. Why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself and your character, and then give a really good lead in to the person on your left, just like I did for you.
Rowan Collins: Okay. Cool. Hey. I'm Rowan Collins of TheyThem. I'm going to be playing a Pistachio Droop, who is an order born fawn druid of renewal.
They're a little pudgy nature y person who's allergic to the outside, which is super fun for them. I'm gonna be passing it to Joseph Di
Joe Diametti: Yep. I'm Joseph Diametti I'm going to be playing Kapi, who is a slyborn firbolg rogue. He is a cow humanoid, very tall, very lanky. He's been in one place for too long. I think, you know, he's tried to rise through the ranks and he's kinda hit a wall.
He's kinda going through the motions. Luckily, he likes to hide all of his trauma with humor. So that's probably good for entertainment. I'm going to pass it to my left, which is Annie Hawthorne.
Annie Hawthorne: Hi. I'm Annie Hawthorne. She or her. I will be playing Crank the Clank, who is an order born stalwart guardian and is just seven feet of pure titanium trying to become a wizard.
Isaac Allen Burns: And I'm Isaac Allen Burns. That's right. Your GM, your best friend, and the person talking right now. Now, some of you might be wondering, Isaac, orderborn, sloborn, what are these words? What do they mean?
Well, for those of you who are maybe less familiar with Daggerheart, it is similar to other fantasy role playing games in that when you create a character, you decide a couple of background and ancestral traits for that character rather than being specific words that we have heard before like sage and soldier. In this one, you can select backgrounds that are a little more general since you can make it your own. Because one big difference between this one and other, perhaps more popular tabletop role playing games, is that this is a lot more collaborative, a lot more storytelling based. Well, on that note, ahem, cue the music. Welcome to Altea.
Shit. There you go. Let's try that again. There you go. I'm sorry.
Welcome to Altea, a land that is full of promise and adventure. From beautiful blue seas to tall snow capped mountains, from rolling plains to desert sands, from thick forests to sparkling lakes. The only thing more diverse than the land is its people. So many different people toil, work, and thrive in these lands. And we're gonna zoom in on a small town between two mountains.
The town is called Bracken Road. There isn't a lot that puts Bracken Road on the map, but there is one thing that keeps it there, and that's their apples. You guys, Bracken Road apples are famous. They're the perfect apple. Perfect balance of sweet and tart.
Joe Diametti: What kind of apples? Honeycrisp. Honeycrisp? Is it only Honeycrisp? What did you say?
Isaac Allen Burns: They're Bracken Road apples.
Joe Diametti: They're just Bracken Road?
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. They're Bracken Road apples. But what's the perfect apple to you, Joe?
Joe Diametti: Damn. Don't flip. That's That's karma. Was trying to trap you into like
Isaac Allen Burns: naming They're Bracken Road And in recent years, they've actually begun experimenting with various apple technologies. The pomologists that live within Bracken Road, which that's right, that's the study of apples, you guys. We're here to teach you something. The palmologists have all kinds of different app Bracken Road apple strains. But, you know, we're not interested in the apples right now.
We're interested in the people that live inside of Bracken Road. Can everybody roll a d 12 for me? And whoever rolls highest gets to start. Eight.
Annie Hawthorne: Five. One. Woah.
Isaac Allen Burns: You know, to take a step back, Dagger Heart is a little different from other tabletop role playing games, and that it is emphasized that the players also have, you know, equivalent control over certain story beats. And so I'm gonna seat the floor over to you, Joe, my highest roller. How does Kapi's day start? Go ahead and take you are now the DM. You're now the GM.
And you get to tell us how does Kapi's day start.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. So Kapi sleeps at the Adventures Guild. It's where he lives. It's where he's lived for years now. He's the senior member of the Adventures Guild.
And he he gets up, he throws on his infamous Adventures Guild jacket. He never goes anywhere without his jacket. It's faded. It's long. It's two toned, kind of like a letterman from high school.
It has the the patch for the Adventures Guild on it and it's you know, very worn. He's probably gonna get up and stumble in to find the owner of the Adventures Guild. Do I pick his name?
Isaac Allen Burns: Do you have his Cyrus, actually.
Joe Diametti: Cyrus. Good.
Isaac Allen Burns: To describe Cyrus, I want you to imagine a large simia, which is like a person that's like mostly ape. So this guy is closer to Donkey Kong than he is Diddy. He's very top heavy like a swimmer. Red fur. Completely red fur like you're playing on Red Team in Super Smash Brothers and you're also playing Donkey Kong.
Except instead of a tie, he's got, like, a wife beater and a suspenders combo with some black slacks that have seen better days. And he's sort of, like, head on the front desk, empty bottle in his hands, snoring real loud.
Joe Diametti: He was like, Cyrus. Come on.
Isaac Allen Burns: That's Cyrus. He's doing that. Yeah. Okay.
Joe Diametti: Come on, bud. Let's get you to bed.
Isaac Allen Burns: What are you telling me to do?
Joe Diametti: Yeah. I know. Everyone's telling me what to do.
Isaac Allen Burns: I'm at the desk. What do you want from me? I'm behind the desk here. I'm in my station. I'm in my post.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. We need to get you to sleep. How long have you been here?
Isaac Allen Burns: I'm asleep I'm sleeping just fine.
Annie Hawthorne: Alright. I
Isaac Allen Burns: was sleeping just fine.
Joe Diametti: Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns: You don't gotta tell me what to Alright.
Joe Diametti: Alright. And I just grab the bottle forcibly at least and Hey. Kind of walk off and throw it in the trash.
Isaac Allen Burns: Hey, there were a couple of good swings in there.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then, know, by as he's saying that, I'm already leaving the door.
Isaac Allen Burns: You hear him like kinda yelling at you like he always does. Somewhat vague and somewhat un understandable.
Joe Diametti: And Kapi's used to it so it's usually one ear out the other.
Isaac Allen Burns: Today is no different.
Joe Diametti: Nope. Today is no different. So he goes outside. It's a lovely day. He's headed for the town's bakery which specializes in exclusively apple.
Isaac Allen Burns: Apple confections. Yeah. Apple tarts, apple pies
Rowan Collins: Yes. Apple fritters. Apple fritters? Apple fritters.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. Apple apple muffins.
Joe Diametti: Fritters especially. Kapi loves apple fritters. Love those fritters. And that's actually where Kapi's headed right now to get his morning apple fritter. Like some people need their shower to wake up or like a cup of coffee.
Kapi needs his apple fritter.
Isaac Allen Burns: Kapi needs his apple fritter. Yeah. As Kapi is walking through the street, it's a beautiful springtime day, I'm gonna say. I'm gonna plant my flag on it springtime.
Joe Diametti: Cool.
Isaac Allen Burns: It's gonna make a lot of
Joe Diametti: sense to
Isaac Allen Burns: you because Kapi, the place, the sleepy town of Bracken Road is uncharacteristically abuzz. Because in two weeks from now, it's gonna be the Apple Festival. That's right. The Bracken Road Apple Festival is probably the most exciting thing that happens in the town. More exciting than pretty much every other holiday.
People are in fast stances trying to get this place up and ready for the festival. As you're walking in to this bakery, this place is no different. Tell me about this bakery. Tell us, the listeners, about this bakery.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. I mean, so the bakery has one of those bells that ring when you walk in the door. It's real quaint. There's, you know, a few tables inside to, you know, sit at and eat your pastry, maybe have your cup of coffee. I was gonna say cup of Joe, but that's stupid.
Isaac Allen Burns: I Cup of Joe.
Rowan Collins: They're having a cup of you, Joe.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. I know. So dumb. So, you know, Kapi, like, he's walking through town like you said, it's really busy, everything's buzzing and he's not paying any attention. He's just kind of like looking down, walking.
He walks in the door. He sees that there's a big line, which is abnormal and he's like, so he kinda just stands there and he waits to get to the front.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. You are standing in the back in this little bakery. And this is kind of a small building, building, I would say. Not like a huge building by any means. It's a classic bakery.
One door in, one door out. A couple people working there. You know, Kapi, is there anyone that's working there today that you're happy to see, would you say?
Joe Diametti: I'm I'm looking. I definitely am looking for someone to be working. It's Scarlet who's a fawn in this town. She happens to be the daughter of the apple orchard owners. So very lucrative, very successful.
And she is very driven to, you know, kinda take the reins of that business and she runs the bakery for her parents.
Isaac Allen Burns: You in fact see Scarlet. Yeah. Because much like most cafes we're used to, there is someone that is making drinks and making the food. And you know what they do? They call out the names of the people.
So sure enough, you see Scarlett walk over to the edge of the little bar where you see there's a glass case with a lot of cooked earlier that day goods to show off what people can get. She stands right behind it, places a little order on it, and yells out a name. The name doesn't matter. In fact, I don't even think Kapi registers the name. All Kapi registers, I think, is the beautiful timbre of her voice.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. Definitely. I imagine Kapi's here every day, so the attendants know him. And I assume they're also pretty annoyed generally with him trying to get Scarlet's attention.
Isaac Allen Burns: You you actually see that one of them, a sort of older fawn woman sees you in the back there.
Joe Diametti: Hi, Carol. Hi, Gappy. Hi. Can I can I get a is is there any fritters left?
Isaac Allen Burns: She points at the very edge and you see sure enough that there is a little to go bag with just the right amount of fritters.
Joe Diametti: Oh, perfect. That's then could I could I actually get Scarlet to give me I I just had the punch card. Right? So I I it's like if you get 10, like Oh, and
Isaac Allen Burns: you need Scarlet to punch it
Annie Hawthorne: for you.
Joe Diametti: I just I thought maybe I she it meant a lot to her that I got 10. I know this is a big initiative for the bakery.
Isaac Allen Burns: Right. It's a big initiative for her. Big for her.
Rowan Collins: Carol, can
Isaac Allen Burns: we just okay. Scarlet, you got a customer. You see Scarlet comes over and sees you and gives you a smile and says, Kathy, hi.
Joe Diametti: Hey, Scarlet. What are you? What's what's up? Still working. Still working.
Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. Here today.
Joe Diametti: This really really busy. Do you you like that when it's busy like this?
Isaac Allen Burns: Well, it's good to know that the business is thriving. Yeah. Many people coming in.
Joe Diametti: I I love it. I'm a big fan of these new reward programs.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. Punch Card.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. This is my tenth one since you launched
Rowan Collins: it,
Joe Diametti: which means it was ten days ago that you launched.
Isaac Allen Burns: That's right. This is a very fresh initiative.
Joe Diametti: Right. So I I just I thought you would probably well, hey, what are you doing later? Well Like after, you know, after the bakery.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, well, it's funny you should say that because, you know, the Apple Festival's in two weeks.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. I know. I'm yeah. Big time for the fam.
Isaac Allen Burns: It is. I'm actually gonna be working a double shift today.
Joe Diametti: Double shift. So like seven?
Isaac Allen Burns: Well, seven is when I get my dinner break.
Joe Diametti: Dinner break. So Ten minutes. Dinner. So dinner you wanna do dinner tonight?
Isaac Allen Burns: Today's really not a good day.
Joe Diametti: Today's really not a No,
Isaac Allen Burns: I get it.
Joe Diametti: I I'm really busy too. I adventure guild. Like tap the, you know, the the patch on my left side of the chest. Stuff so.
Isaac Allen Burns: Her smile is so polite.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. And he and he's trying so hard, like way too hard.
Isaac Allen Burns: She kinda is just smiling, trying to figure out what to say and just says, you know, maybe another time.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. I'll yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns: So Maybe after the Apple Festival.
Joe Diametti: Okay. Yeah. Or maybe I'll I mean, I could see you at the Apple. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns: Can I
Joe Diametti: get my printer, please, actually?
Isaac Allen Burns: She hands it to you and says Well, I hope you have a good day, Kapi.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. Yeah. You too, Scarlet.
Isaac Allen Burns: Thank you.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. And I leave, and I am just like on cloud nine. I'm talking to myself. I mean, that was that was fantastic, that conversation. That was great.
That was man, back in the game. Kathy, let's go. Back in the saddle. Kathy leaves,
Isaac Allen Burns: seeing none of the faces that Carol was making. But Kapi goes back to the building. And we move a little further away. A little further away from maybe the town center where the guild is. Maybe a little out further into the country to find a little house of well, who am I to say what size the house is?
Pistachio. Why don't you tell us a little bit about how Pistachio Days start and what's around?
Rowan Collins: So the camera pans in on a farm land out in the in the outskirts of the city. It's not an apple farm. In fact, if the wise interviewers would see that it's actually a peanut farm. Breckenridge Breckenridge?
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. Breckenridge.
Rowan Collins: Breckenridge's other export that nobody really knows about is their nuts. In that like little farmland, there's a two story little cute farmhouse. And we pan into the top left window where we see there is a bedroom in there with two twin beds on either side of the room. There is a line down the center. On the right side, there's, like, you know, work boots and overalls, and the whole place is a this looks like somebody who's been working.
And then on the left side, you see, like, a very orderly, like, bed with, like, some books stepped up on a little desk, Some notes like stuck all over the walls, including one of them saying, first day today, 9AM, sharp. And there you see a little fawn, who's a very like, lumpy and bumpy, rotund little person with big spectacles and darting green eyes. And they're little like red ringlets, kinda just like nestled right above these like two fawn ears that jut out to either side of their head. As you said, this is spring, so you see them
Rowan Collins: go, oh, okay. So it's a it's like it's like lightly cold. So I think I'm gonna go with a sweater for sure. But this green kinda is green a little bit too on the nose? I guess I could go with blue, blue's kind of boring.
White would just mean that I've gotta like keep it from being kind of dirty. Oh, but I could go with argyle perhaps. Oh, or maybe cable it. That might be a little bit too scandalous for the first day.
Isaac Allen Burns: You hear a voice from down below Oh. And saying,
Isaac Allen Burns: hey, Pistachio, son. You're gonna you're you gotta you gotta come on downstairs. You're running out of breakfast for you.
Rowan Collins: Oh, coming for later.
Rowan Collins: You see, Pistachio will grab the white cable knit sweater because it's the one that they look the best in and then, like, put it on real quick and tie a little bow tie and then scamper down the stairs.
Isaac Allen Burns: You scamper down the stairs and at the base of the stairs, you see your mother currently putting the finishing touches on a wonderful breakfast. She sees you and she says, oh, my dear. Stachio, it's your first day. Gotta make sure you're fed. You gotta eat your food to have the energy for the day.
Rowan Collins: That's true.
Isaac Allen Burns: Could be a long day.
Rowan Collins: Could be a long day. Do you think they're gonna have snacks or should I pack like a lunch or something?
Isaac Allen Burns: You know, I talked to the the receptionist of the Adventuring Guild and the the the, you know, the impression that I got was, I don't think you're gonna have snacks for lunch.
Rowan Collins: Oh, crap.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, fuck. Language.
Rowan Collins: Oh, okay. I'm sorry.
Isaac Allen Burns: Now don't you let those other adventurers start rubbing off on you now. Okay? They can't start hurting your good behavior now, Pistachio.
Rowan Collins: You're right. You're right, mom. It's you know, to be good is to do good, so I gotta be really good.
Isaac Allen Burns: That's right. That's the Druun family motto.
Rowan Collins: That's the Druun family motto. Okay. Do you happen to have any of the old snacks with you?
Isaac Allen Burns: Or Some of the dried snacks. Yeah. We have some dried snacks that your siblings there didn't finish yesterday when they were out working in the fields.
Rowan Collins: Okay. Fantastic. You got the woods without the nuts. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, of course. Because I
Rowan Collins: don't wanna break out in the hives at the middle of the day. That would really make my day really upsetting.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, my little baby breaking out in the middle of the day. It would be so terrible. She, like, grabs you in a hug
Rowan Collins: and, like, squeezes your Mom, stop. I'm a grown person now.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, I know. I know. My little pistachio, he's grown they're all grown up. But listen, you know, pistachio, just make sure you remember your roots, okay, when you become a big strong adventurer and eventually you'll become a doctor.
Rowan Collins: Oh, right. Right. Would I become a doctor? That's right. That's the whole purpose of me being here.
Rowan Collins: Their eyes get really, really big and, like, like, you could tell the anxiety is coming on, and they're just like
Isaac Allen Burns: That's right. That's you know, it's gonna be a great thing. See, because your elder siblings are out working the fields, you know, and you can't work the fields cause, you know, you can't have nuts.
Rowan Collins: Yeah. I'm allergic.
Isaac Allen Burns: You hear at the table, you see an older, fawn man with big long horns and a newspaper in front of him. That's right. He reads the news every morning. You see that he puts the paper down and says, now, Almond, the kid's gotta learn how to stand on his own. Okay?
So he can't be coddling them anymore.
Rowan Collins: Yeah. I well, but if you want to coddle me a little bit, that's okay.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, I'll always cobble you, pistachio, or
Rowan Collins: just Well, do you have the wraps for my horns so that they don't get stuck on any hats or anything? She
Isaac Allen Burns: pulls out these little rubber covers for your horns and puts them on and gives you your snacks and everything. And as you're leaving, she's like waving from raving from the stoop. Pistachio, you make your way down through the streets. The path into the town is not that long from where you're at. Does Pistachio run into anybody on the street?
Rowan Collins: Pistachio is very much making a beeline because they're trying to be early.
Isaac Allen Burns: Nice. Pistachio is running down the street. You're gonna be late. You're gonna be late for such an important date. And you know what?
I'm gonna call for the very first roll of the whole game. Can I get an agility roll from Pistachio? For those just tuning in, Dagger Heart is a two d 12 system. So what I need you to do right now, Rowan, is roll two d twelves. One of those d twelves, you will assign as your hope dice.
The other dice, you will assign as your fear dice. And what you're going to do when you roll these is add those two numbers together, add your agility modifier on your character sheet, and then tell me not only the total value, but you're gonna tell me if the hope dice was higher, you're gonna say with hope. And if the fear dice is higher, you're gonna say with fear. Oh,
Rowan Collins: that's a 17 with hope.
Isaac Allen Burns: A 17 with hope. That is a success with hope, Pistachio. And let me ask Rowan, who would be the best person that Pistachio could almost run into?
Annie Hawthorne: Gosh.
Rowan Collins: The best person that Pistachio could run into would be grandpa Mac. Old Mac.
Isaac Allen Burns: Old Mac. Grandpa Mac, an old fawn who has seen so much in his long life, is walking down the street also preparing for the Apple Festival. He's got some groceries in his hands, and as you speed by him, he says, woah there, kid.
Rowan Collins: Oh, woah there. Oh, hi. Oh, sorry, Gripple.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, mister is today the day?
Rowan Collins: Yeah. Today is the first day.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, that's right. I had almost forgotten
Isaac Allen Burns: that today is the day
Isaac Allen Burns: you're gonna get your start on your path to be a doctor.
Rowan Collins: Yep. To be a doctor.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. No. I was really glad to hear that you started, you know, because as I always say, if you wanna fix things, you gotta learn how to break them first.
Rowan Collins: Well, yeah, considering all of the different pins and stuff that I broke on the the little summer I spent on your farm though. That's definitely definitely know how to break them.
Isaac Allen Burns: That's right. And you broke so many. But you know what? You at least fixed a couple of them towards the end there.
Rowan Collins: I did learn how to use tape.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yes, you did. That's right.
Rowan Collins: I still haven't gotten the hang of nails though.
Isaac Allen Burns: Nope. No. My my left thumb still remembers your attempt to grasp the idea of hammers.
Rowan Collins: So does my right toe.
Isaac Allen Burns: He holds up his hand. He's missing most of his fingers.
Rowan Collins: You know, I can't eventually figure out how to fix that, hopefully.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, listen, kid. I already fixed it a long time ago. You're only a little pissed at. Don't even worry about it.
Rowan Collins: Oh, okay. Is Quackers doing okay on your farm?
Isaac Allen Burns: Quackers is doing well, you know what? You have a good day, Pistachio.
Isaac Allen Burns: I don't wanna keep you here too longer.
Rowan Collins: Okay. Alright. Well, I will let you know how my first day goes.
Isaac Allen Burns: Pistachio, you continue down the street eventually making your way to a building. And as Pistachio enters that building, we cut to a new place. Yo, Annie, crank that.
Rowan Collins: Oh. Crank that soldier boy.
Annie Hawthorne: Crank crank has been in Rock And Road for maybe two weeks at this point. This is the first place he came after being decommissioned by the military after losing a good friend and mentor, and has showed up on the doorstep of that good friend and mentor's widower and their daughter. Craig has been granted permission out of nothing but pity that this was the only place he could come to have ingress and egress into the storm cellar at any time of day or night. So Frank comes online at exactly the moment the sun crests the horizon as if it's programmed. And the first thing that Frank does every day, he has two errands that he runs very routine.
He will go to the bakery as they are opening, specifically to the back of the bakery where they are throwing out the old stale pastries. And he will procure those pastries and take them back to the home that has graciously allowed the use of their storm cellar and knock on the door of
Joe Diametti: As if they're fake or as if they're fresh baked.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah.
Joe Diametti: Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns: This is listen. Scarlet wheels and deals. If there's a way that she can offload some of this trash without having to throw it away, Scarlet absolutely meets you every morning and hands you a big bag. Says, here you go.
Annie Hawthorne: Half of those pastries are for my host. Half of those pastries are for someone else who will get to later. But I I take half of these pastries back, and I I go up on the porch, and I knock on the door, and I just I stand there in my crumpled, crushed wizard's hat, which probably doesn't remind my host of anything happy. But just there, bright eyed, and if he had a tail, it'd be bushy.
Isaac Allen Burns: Craig stands there for, like, the usual amount of time that Craig is usually standing there before the door cracks open a little bit. And sure enough, you see the host. The host. Can you describe what does this person look like?
Annie Hawthorne: The host's name is Timothy Toulouse, and he has kind of wavy dark hair that's a little bit longish. He's rather narrow built Behind the edge of his cloak peaks a little girl about seven or eight years old, curiously.
Isaac Allen Burns: Always looking always looking at you with eyes that are curious and, you know, maybe something more. Probably fear. Is large. You hear a heavy sigh as Timothy is standing there. See, he's half dressed.
He's got, like, his slacks that are like unbuttoned in a shirt that is like thrown on. Thank you for the delivery, Crank.
Annie Hawthorne: Good morning, Timothy.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne: I've brought you some pastries.
Isaac Allen Burns: Breakfast, again. Well, thank you. You know, I was wondering since the Apple Festival was coming around, I was wondering if there would actually be anything for you to get. But looks like you god. Do you wanna come in this time?
Or
Annie Hawthorne: Oh, no. I have to go to the library, but I just wanted to give you this gift, bring you some some food. I hope you like it.
Isaac Allen Burns: Well, Craig, I appreciate it. I do. He holds out his hand to take the bag from you.
Annie Hawthorne: You give him pastries?
Isaac Allen Burns: Takes it. He takes the pastries. Well, study hard at the library. I
Annie Hawthorne: I will. I always do.
Isaac Allen Burns: He looks kinda up at your hat and back to you. You feel like he's too tired to be upset. He simply smiles and snips back and says, go back, Alina. And he closes the door.
Annie Hawthorne: Alright. Crank will take the other half of the pastries, and he will go to the very small library in this town. It's just called the Bracken Road Library, but the n is missing, and the l is crooked. And the first r in library is missing, so it just says, Break Road Library. And you will wait there until it opens.
Like Just standing in front of the door.
Isaac Allen Burns: Like clockwork, within thirty seconds of what would be the equivalent of thirty minutes after you woke up, you hear the resounding snap of the door opening and unlocking. And opening the door is the librarian. Annie, tell me about this librarian. What's this librarian all about?
Annie Hawthorne: This librarian is kind of getting up there in years. I think she's a hunched older lady with spectacles and gray hair and a shawl around her shoulders. And she's probably getting a little confused about why this robot is standing outside of her library every single day for two weeks. It's not a large library. They don't have a lot of selection of books.
But every single day for two weeks, I have shown up. I have handed her a bag of very stale pastries. And I have sat, and I have scanned every single book about magic that they have with my scanning eyes.
Joe Diametti: Just in just in your wizard hat.
Annie Hawthorne: Just in my wizard hat and my oh, and my scrap of a cape that matches the hat.
Isaac Allen Burns: I'm gonna roll a dice real fast as a GM. Yeah. There are 18 books about magic. Three of them are children's books.
Annie Hawthorne: Well, in my memory banks, I have 14 copies of those 18 books because I do this every day without fail, just in case I miss something, because I really wanna learn magic.
Isaac Allen Burns: Have you told the librarian this goal of yours?
Annie Hawthorne: I think that Crank takes any act of kindness from anyone as an earnest desire to be best friends. So He has probably told this woman his entire life story. So I'm sure that she is aware.
Isaac Allen Burns: Crank has the same sensibilities as every somewhat sheltered middle school boy. This is fantastic. Crank yeah, Crank, you have the same book. She lays them out for you. She's smiling so kindly at you and says, well, Frank, have you discovered any new discoveries in these books?
Anything new about magic?
Annie Hawthorne: Well, these books are the same books as they were yesterday, and they're the same books that they were two weeks ago. But I will find anything that's different.
Isaac Allen Burns: You know
Annie Hawthorne: Have you have you gotten any new books?
Isaac Allen Burns: I I did reach out to the capital to see if there were any that they can spare for us. I'm afraid that we're a little out of the way, but perhaps at the time of the Apple Festival, someone will come by with a shipment of some. I've asked for any books they have on magic. They didn't seem too enthusiastic about my request, but knowledge is for everyone. That's what I always say because I'm a librarian.
Annie Hawthorne: Well, that's very nice of you. You know, if I I I never had a mother, but if I ever had a mother, I'd want her to be like you.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, I guess you wouldn't have had a mother, would you? Well, Frank, I'm happy to be your mother.
Annie Hawthorne: Oh, that's so nice. I I will bring you extra pastries tomorrow.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, you just warm my little heart. Oh, you know, I haven't felt this good in thirty years. You see, she walks back behind her desk where she is currently wolfing down an apple fritter. You see that another person comes into the library. See, this is like a man, maybe in his early twenties.
His horns, because he's a fawn, are, you know, well groomed. He's got a nice vest on, and he kinda makes small talk with the lady up front. He walks over to you and says, hey there. It's all dark and metal. How are you doing?
What you reading here?
Annie Hawthorne: I'm reading magic. I'm reading about magic. I wanna become a wizard.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, a wizard, shall you? Well, I have heard many of your kind being able to do magic. That's very exciting.
Annie Hawthorne: What do you mean by my kind?
Isaac Allen Burns: Well, you know, assembled men like yourself. Flanks, as it were.
Annie Hawthorne: Yes. That makes sense.
Isaac Allen Burns: You'd see where
Annie Hawthorne: You you've heard about people like me doing magic?
Isaac Allen Burns: Well, yes. Of course.
Annie Hawthorne: Where are these people? Can I can I talk to them?
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, well, they're not here per se.
Annie Hawthorne: Sorry to they can do magic then?
Isaac Allen Burns: Well, I met in my travel. I've have you ever heard of a place called Polaris University?
Annie Hawthorne: Oh, yes. Polaris. Yes. That's where I'm going.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, you're going there.
Annie Hawthorne: Very good.
Isaac Allen Burns: Do you have a do have a recommendation already?
Annie Hawthorne: Well, no. But not that
Isaac Allen Burns: We can at least do magic. Right?
Annie Hawthorne: Well, I'm first, I can do magic.
Rowan Collins: What are
Annie Hawthorne: you what do you mean?
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, will you not oh Oh, dear. You see that he looks very uncomfortable. He's he realizes that his affable nature has gotten him in trouble. And he says, well, you know, I'm sure that it'll come to you one day. Anyways, sorry to bother.
I'm just you know, I'm new in town, and I'm just making conversation with whoever I find.
Annie Hawthorne: I am also new in town. Really? Would you like to read these books about magic with me?
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, dear. No. I think, you know, I I've read those books before. I think I read those to my kids, actually.
Annie Hawthorne: Can your kids do magic?
Isaac Allen Burns: No. They just they really like the stories.
Annie Hawthorne: Oh, well, I I really have to read these just in case there's something new in them.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, okay.
Annie Hawthorne: But it was nice talking to you.
Isaac Allen Burns: Of course. Of course. What what what do they call you?
Annie Hawthorne: My name is Crank.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, nice to meet you, Crank. You can call me Sebastian.
Annie Hawthorne: Nice to meet you, Sebastian.
Isaac Allen Burns: Very good. Say, Crank, you wouldn't happen to know of any good bars in town, would you? Any bars or places that a man can get a nice stiff drink after a long day of travel?
Annie Hawthorne: I don't really drink.
Isaac Allen Burns: I should have thought of that, actually. I should have considered that point. Well, Craig, this has been a very, you know, awakening conversation
Isaac Allen Burns: for me. I was rather sleepy, but now I think I'm wide awake to to the
Isaac Allen Burns: cringe of this conversation. So I'm just going to cut my losses and vamoose.
Annie Hawthorne: Well, if you tell me where you live, I can bring you pastries.
Isaac Allen Burns: You know, that's quite alright. I don't have a permanent place. You know?
Isaac Allen Burns: I I'm just gonna
Isaac Allen Burns: go, and he walks out and leaves.
Annie Hawthorne: Okay. Well, I go back to reading my books.
Isaac Allen Burns: You read your books for as long as it takes you, and then you hear a chime of the clock in the library. It is 09:00.
Annie Hawthorne: Oh. Oh, no. I'm late. And I will I will just put the books in a very neat pile on the table. And I will wave goodbye to the librarian slash my mother.
And I will make my way to the adventurer's guild because it's my first day.
Isaac Allen Burns: Your new mom smiles as you leave, and she walks over to put the books back up, thankful that you organized them, even though she's gonna have to undo that and organize them in the correct way. But it doesn't take long before, Crank, you step into the Adventures Guild to see three individuals in the room. And I think that's where we're gonna end this session of Dodo Born, you guys. I think that's a good first episode. What?
Rowan Collins: Wait. It's a first
Isaac Allen Burns: good time. Listen, all in due time, you guys. All in due time.
Rowan Collins: I am in impatient. Rome
Isaac Allen Burns: wasn't built in a day and neither were we. But that's all for this episode of DodoBorne, , you guys. Tune in next week when our heroes
Isaac Allen Burns: you'll have to tune in
Isaac Allen Burns: to find out what they do. Alright. Good night, everybody. Hey, it's a podcast.