Anxiety in roofing sales is completely crippling.
It makes us feel shackled.
Shackled to having just total panic about leaving the house, about approaching
a door or driving up a long driveway.
And when we're shackled by anxiety, which is fear in its own right, fear and worry.
We end up having our income completely capped by this ceiling
of our own internal roadblock.
We end up struggling to feel motivated and actually get out and do the work.
And if we don't get anxiety under control and have a tool to move through
it correct through not around, then we will likely have a finite end
of our time here in roofing sales.
So in this video I want to get real and share with you my own story that
was inspired by two people, Scott, who commented on one of my videos, 10 Tips for
Knocking Doors For Your First Time saying, can you please do a video on anxiety?
And then Josh, who messaged me privately saying, I get super
anxious driving up long driveways.
I don't know how to get around it.
So whether you're someone who has experienced anxiety in just a small
way, maybe it's in just certain situations or just cold calling, or
maybe it's just your first few knocks of the day, or maybe you're someone
that's have, that has crippling anxiety and has driven to neighborhoods and
can't get out of your own vehicle.
Uh, I want to share my own journey through this.
Not as a preacher, but as someone who's gone through it, because what
I haven't shared publicly is that I've struggled with anxiety in a
really big way for most of my life.
And in fact, as a child, I spent most of my childhood and adolescence in
therapy specifically for anxiety.
I had such bad anxiety that I didn't even.
Sleep out of my own house until about 18 years old.
I had panic attacks constantly as a child and growing into roofing sales,
it was a massive journey for me to learn how to overcome my own anxieties, but
blending that with my, my tendencies to be a people pleaser because of a
household environment that I grew up in.
And these personal challenges were very, very intense and I don't see enough people
talking about this stuff in our industry.
So, uh, I wanted to bring.
Some heart openness and vulnerability to the very real struggles that tons of
people go through, but we oftentimes feel like we're the only ones going through it.
So these are the questions that usually come privately or when I'm speaking at
event and people will come up after.
So Scott and Josh, I just wanna say thank you.
For being vulnerable, being real, and inspiring this video,
and let's get right to it.
Uh, Adam Besman here, the roof strategist.
Welcome or welcome back.
E Everything I do here is designed to help you and your team smash
your income goal and give every customer an amazing experience.
And I do what I do because I estimate that about 66% of sales reps quit or
get fired in their very first year.
And those that survive often quit or get fired later on because of
not being prepared to succeed.
And that includes, Up here between your ears, your mindset, and that's
what we're gonna cover today.
So let's talk anxiety first.
Anxiety is a very real thing that we must understand and we can look
at anxiety through the lens of fear.
And fear is really what we're nervous about.
So anxiety is a resistance to a feeling.
This feeling bubbles up, I'm afraid, I'm worried, I'm anxious.
And then we panic in that feeling and say, I don't wanna feel that way.
So we're afraid of the fear.
That's what anxiety ultimately is, is fear of a feeling.
And the more we resist that feeling, the the larger it gets.
And I wanna share this through two stories.
Number one is a gentleman that reached out to me.
This was about, I believe, last year.
He was a combat veteran and he served, and I can't recall if it was Iraq
or Afghanistan, and he was in one of the most dangerous places where
he was in firefights on the regular.
He saw horrific stuff and his life was literally on the line.
And he said to me in the email, and I'm paraphrasing, he says, Adam, I never
once skipped a beat when I was in combat, but for some reason the fear and anxiety
of knocking doors is crippling and I can't even get out of my own truck.
Now, this is someone that literally their life was on the line.
But they didn't skip a beat, but for some reason this.
Fear that we manufactured in our mind is what kept him from succeeding.
So that's one story.
And then I wanna share another one as we understand fear.
I remember going cliff jumping for the very first time I was
in, uh, Belize, and I had to scramble up this river, uh, cliff.
So we were in the river and we stopped and we were on the boat and
we had to scramble up this cliff.
And it was so spooky.
It was a 40 foot jump.
And which for some sounds high, it was for me.
For others who were like, I've done bigger anyway.
Scare the heck outta me.
40 feet really high up in the air.
So we scrambled up this cliff and it was so much, so like, so steep
that if you slipped, there was no like, No way to tumble except
straight down outta the rocks.
So you're scrambling up this cliff, your heart's going the
whole way you get to the top.
And the guys that that were guiding us were like, so you need to jump
pretty far because there's really sharp rocks and it's not deep enough.
So make sure you get like really far out and then you'll be in the
deep enough spot of the river.
So I'm standing on the edge of this thing looking down, and my heart is
just going like, and I remember that the longer I stood there anticipating this.
The fear and anxiety of is it gonna hurt?
How's it gonna feel?
Am I gonna get far enough out?
What if I drown?
What if I get stuck in the current?
All these things are going through my mind, and the longer
I said they're the worse it got.
And I remember the first time, then I'd be on the edge, I'd step back,
I'd let someone else go, and I'd watch them like, okay, they were fine.
All right, good, good.
Like the canary and the coal mine.
All right.
Next guy goes, all right, they're good.
And I'm sitting there, I'm like, oh man.
And finally I just, I was like, I gotta face this thing.
And I just went for it.
I leaped or leapt.
Leaped left.
Left and leaped, whatever it is.
I jumped, man, I jumped and I did my little pencil dive and I went
in and I remember being underwater and being like, like so excited.
Like that was awesome.
Like I did it.
And then I popped up and I'm like, we gotta go do that again.
And the lesson here, both in, in the story of the, the gentleman who was in combat
and this cliff jumping, which I, I realize are not even comparable, is that the only
way through, uh, anxiety is again, through it, not around it, you have to face it.
So when we recognize the fact that anxiety is a resistance to a feeling, we can then
say, okay, and I have this feeling, and the only way through it is not to resist
it and push back or fight, try to like fight it out, but to just hit it head on.
And that's what we're gonna be learning how to do now.
So first, let's talk.
What is fear?
There's a great analogy that I've learned about fear, which stands
for F E A R, feeling excited.
And ready, feeling, excited and ready, which allows us to rewire our mind.
And then when we feel that fear, anxiety, like when I was standing on
the edge of the cliff and I was like, man, I'm freaking afraid I'm scared.
I was like, ah, fear, I am feeling excited and ready.
Go.
And then I could jump.
All right.
So when we consciously rewire our mind, we can now look at those
feelings of fear and embrace them.
Feeling excited and ready.
Now, next is, let's take a look at this through logic.
What often helps is to grab a pen and a piece of paper and start journaling.
What are you afraid of?
What are you anxious about?
And I'll start your list with you.
How about that?
Number one, feeling rejected.
Number two, freezing.
Number three, not knowing what to say at all.
Number four, afraid of conflict in people screaming at me.
Number five, feeling like a failure.
All those things, those to me were the big five and I'm curious to hear from you.
And if there's more, drop it in the comment section below and
hopefully it'll inspire others to be real and vulnerable with what
it's like to be out in the field.
And I know there's some people, by the way, that like
commented one of my videos like.
Not all of us get anxious.
Get to the, get to the tactics.
I'm like, great.
I'm, I'm pumped that you don't, and I don't now.
But I remember when it was a big deal.
It was the biggest deal in my life, which is why I want to do this video.
So write down those big fears and when you approach them logically, you now have some
coping mechanisms of how to tackle those, which I'm gonna share with you here.
Now I learned this and I have to give full credit where credit is
due from Barry McDonough who wrote this book, dare The New Way, uh, to
End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks.
I did listen to it on Audible and I would recommend it in that format,
but you can do it however you want.
Dare book Now, this book here was far more valuable and I mean like I was in
therapy as a small child for anxiety.
For as long as I can remember struggling with it in a very real way.
Not once did I experience any sense of relief or ways to encounter it
versus talking around it until I read the DARE book and I learned
what he calls the Dare response.
Okay.
Now, the first thing that we want to do, now that we've got this, this
framework, which go ahead and read.
Because it's not up to me to teach his, uh, Barry McDonough's framework
here, but I want to just give some insights into some of the key
concepts that help me the most.
And that is when I understood the logic of what I was anxious and
afraid of, I, I just listed it out.
And then the first part is diffusing.
That's the d and diffusing is, is literally experiencing thatno
that anxiety and saying, so what?
Or whatever.
Like, so what if I get rejected?
That's life, that's sales.
So what if I freeze?
Then I'm gonna learn how to not freeze next time.
So what if there's conflict and they're mad?
I can't serve everybody.
It's not a personal attack on me in learning how to use that
rewiring fear, feeling ex um, uh, feeling excited and ready.
Sorry about that.
Brain fart.
Next one is logic.
Listing out all those things I'm afraid of allows me that
opportunity to approach this stuff head on and be like, wait a minute.
That's kind of silly.
I'm really not afraid of that stuff.
And then using the tools in the dare response, which I highly recommend to
accept and allow, that's the a r is to run towards as opposed to hide from.
And E is engaged, meaning turn your attention back to what you're doing.
And it sounds crazy simple.
And it is.
And when I first read that book, I was like, that's a little weird.
That's kind of a little cheesy.
And it has truly, truly changed my life.
And in fact, the last tool that I wanna share before I wrap this up
with the final call to action for you.
Of what you can do is, uh, Barry McDonough talked in there about
giving your fear a persona.
So when it, in your anxiety of persona, so when it sneaks in, you can name
it like it's a little character.
So my little anxiety thing, I can't share his name cause it's actually quite
explicit, but it helps me feel empowered.
But it's a little.
Uh, a, a little troll with pink hair and a pink tutu and,
uh, I call 'em the little bee.
You can fill in the blanks.
My little bee and my little bee comes and I now, like, I was out on a run the
other day and this is, I was, I was, uh, totally like cashed, like to, like, I'm,
I'm, I live up in the mountains, I'm running uphill and my heart is pounding.
I just want to quit and walk.
And I'm like, oh, that's just my little bee.
He popped up his little pink tutu and I visualized that Every single step I
took was like death by, by a thousand.
Cut.
Every step was a little knife cut and I just bled him out and I felt so empowered.
And you know what's funny is even after doing that really cheesy thing
of, again, letting those intrusive thoughts of being afraid or anxious or
feel for or wanting to quit, whatever negative dialogue that was garbage.
Now when he comes up at his, kill him, in my mind I'm knock him out.
And it has been really helpful.
And I know that may sound.
Stupid cheesy, and I feel so vulnerable sharing this publicly, but it has truly
helped me, and that's why I want to give you these tools of first, acknowledging
that anxiety and logically listing what you're afraid of next, reorienting
fear, feeling excited and ready.
Third, naming your little, uh, your little anxiety demonn that
shows up in visualizing him so you can be like, oh, hey friend.
All right, well, I'm gonna win this one.
Right?
And then the final piece, after reading the DARE book, which again, I'm gonna
put that up on the screen so you can see it, uh, get this book and read it.
And, and even when you're getting into parts that you don't feel like applied
to you, uh, I would highly recommend that you stick with it because they often will.
Now, my final call to action is this, is you need to practice the only way.
Through anxiety is through it.
It's not around it.
If you want to get over it, you have to go through it.
Now, applying what I learned in that book and making some lifestyle
changes has been game changing for me, and I'm gonna share those
lifestyle changes with you right now.
Number one is sleep.
I was someone that wasn't sleeping a whole bunch and now I'm getting
eight to 10 hours a night.
Eight is bare bones, minimum sleep is restorative and mission critical, and
I had to drop my broy nature of like, Going to bed later, waking up earlier.
There's only so much time in the day.
Sees every moment, and it just, it wasn't practical in the long run.
Okay.
Number two was eliminating caffeine, because if you are someone that
struggles with anxiety, caffeine will zip you up and you gotta dial it back.
So I've switched to N to herbal TS instead of caffeine, and
I don't do caffeine at all.
Number three is, A, an aggressive workout I run every single morning, and
I don't do it for my physical health, I do it for my mental health, and
that has given me an outlet to kind of burn the energy out because cortisol
is higher in the morning, meaning the stress hormone naturally is higher.
So if you're someone with anxiety that wakes up three, four in the morning with
your mind spinning, or the minute you wake up, you're just anxious about the day
you're running through your to-do list.
You got all these things to do.
Instead of getting into it, go burn a bunch of energy, high intensity workout,
whatever that might mean for you.
So those are the three biggest things.
And then, uh, I'm obviously not a, a nutritionist.
But I've heard, and it's worked for me, that magnesium, uh, the proper form
of magnesium, which Barry McDonough again shares at the end of the
book, what types to take Morning and Night has been monumentally helpful
along with using that dare response.
So I hope this helps you tackle anxiety, and if you've struggled with it, I'd
love to hear from you in the comment section below, and together we can
bring a bit more of a real voice to what we go through in this industry.
And if you're someone that had it and doesn't anymore,
welcome to the Great side.
Uh, I got about that much left, but I feel like a completely different human
being and it's been the most freeing feeling in the entire world to be me
and bring me to serve the world better.
And my friend.
That is exactly what I wanna see for you.
Bringing your authentic, true self that is unshackled to be the best servant
you can for everyone that you serve.
So that's all for this video.
Thanks again for joining me here.
And, uh, I can't wait to hear your story now.
Uh, just cuz this video's about to wrap up.
It doesn't mean you're in my time has to.
So if you haven't done it yet, hop into my free training center right here and,
uh, if you wanna hang with me here on YouTube, they're gonna think, I think
you're gonna really like, uh, this video.
We'll see you soon.