An eye-opening conversation about sex and aging that challenges society’s most limiting myths.
Many of us grow up with the idea that sex declines after 40 or 50—that desire is linked solely to youth and reproductive capability. But the reality is far more complex.
What if desire didn’t expire with youth? Or if ageing bodies could be celebrated instead of fixed? Julie Sale, a COSRT-accredited sex and relationship psychotherapist and director of the Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology, reveals how cultural narratives around age, gender, and sexuality deeply influence how we experience intimacy later in life. Her insights cut through shame and societal expectations, opening a new view on vitality, pleasure, and human connection at any age.
Julie shares surprising findings: desire can increase at various life stages, and ageism often erases the rich, diverse experiences of sexuality in older adults. We break down the myth that ageing diminishes intimacy, and instead, explore how to cultivate pleasure, confidence, and authenticity regardless of societal pressures.
We dive into key topics such as hormonal changes and their surprising impact on desire, the shame around biological ageing—like needing lubricants or dealing with erectile challenges—and the ways societal scripts distort our view of what’s “appropriate” for older bodies. Julie discusses how cultural standards influence both men’s and women’s self-perception, and the impact of internalised ageism on intimacy. Plus, insights into how LGBTQ+ and trans communities experience sexual ageing differently, and the importance of dispelling myths around relationships, desirability, and gender norms.
Why does this matter? Because unexamined beliefs about ageing and sex can lead to invisibility, loneliness, and even health risks. Recognising these narratives opens the door to liberation—an opportunity to redefine what intimacy and pleasure mean at every stage of life.
This episode invites you to challenge assumptions, embrace your evolving sexuality, and find joy beyond societal expectations. Perfect for anyone navigating the complexities of ageing, sexuality, or relationship dynamics. Whether you’re in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, this conversation will inspire a new perspective—one that celebrates human capacity for connection, pleasure, and self-acceptance at every age.
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Lucy provides tailored psychosexual and relationship therapy, both online and in person, in Central, East, South West London, and Brighton. She also leads retreats and workshops on intimacy, desire, and navigating life changes like childlessness, infidelity, illness, and shifting relationship dynamics.
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What is Sex Tells?
About Sex Tells Podcast
Sex Tells is the podcast that fearlessly strips away the shame, silence, and stigma surrounding sex and relationships. Hosted by Lucy Frank, a registered Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist, each episode features deep, unapologetic conversations with leading experts, compelling storytellers, and resilient survivors. We delve into topics most people only whisper about, from intimacy and desire to trauma and healing, because your story, your pleasure, and your well-being deserve to be heard in full voice.
Our mission is to create a safe, inclusive space where education meets empathy, empowering listeners to embrace their sexuality, navigate challenges, and forge deeper connections, with themselves and others, by breaking down barriers.
Learn more at: theyxologist.co.uk