Speaker 1: Welcome to Smytian Son. I'm Kevin Smith.
Speaker 2: That's what that's the name Smitti and Son.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be the name of our hardware to.
Speaker 2: Her, because I'm your son.
Speaker 1: In this altar universe where I had to open hardwors
Speaker 1: to it. You're born as Charlie Quinon, so it's Schmittian Son.
Speaker 2: I guess I don't want a munch of joys.
Speaker 1: So looking on the dance floor, Welcome to Smittians. I'm
Speaker 1: Kevin Smith.
Speaker 2: I'm a Harley Quins.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 2: Charlie Charlie the boys Smith Smitty store.
Speaker 1: That's right, man, we're you know what, And maybe it's
Speaker 1: not our worst store. Maybe it's like a mercantile. Like
Speaker 1: you didn't watch the Low House in the Prayer grown up,
Speaker 1: we didn't have so we did. And the Olsens ran
Speaker 1: a mercantile, which was like a five dime convenience story essentially,
Speaker 1: but in the olden days and ship like that. They
Speaker 1: were the richest people in town. And Missus Olsen, who
Speaker 1: is the mom, was such hard and she hated the poor.
Speaker 1: So we would be smitty and sounds to be competing mercantile.
Speaker 1: Oh or you people come in, they feel welcome. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: now because it's the turns of century and the Prairie times.
Speaker 1: And ship we called Smitty and Son because fucking it's
Speaker 1: still a man's world back then, not not like now.
Speaker 1: So we call it Smitty and Son. But really, I'm
Speaker 1: a daughter, yes, and so we like we'll put like
Speaker 1: boyish clothing on you and ship.
Speaker 3: Come on.
Speaker 1: I knew the ship sounded from of just copping malan,
Speaker 1: you know what. They copped it from somebody. This is
Speaker 1: tale as old as time.
Speaker 2: This is Smitty and Son.
Speaker 1: That's that's our origin story that in order to open
Speaker 1: American town like on the prairie, but but to do
Speaker 1: it with like Smitian daughter, people be like, well, don't
Speaker 1: shop there. Yeah, he's like daughter, daughters belong with dolls
Speaker 1: and cooking and ship like that. But we're progressive. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're different. That's what makes our show different.
Speaker 2: That's so true.
Speaker 1: So it's oh fuck a podcast. This is a fucking show.
Speaker 1: It's a Hallmark show right here. Pretty good idea turn
Speaker 1: the century Mulan in America.
Speaker 2: Soundly just making Mulan about a white family, though pretty
Speaker 2: much it's.
Speaker 1: Pretty much cultural appropriation.
Speaker 2: At it's worst, just not the right thing to do.
Speaker 1: Like what if I called you one? Dan? I was like,
Speaker 1: not only did I pitch it, but with the leads
Speaker 1: we're playing Smittyosuf and Smitty and stuff. It is set
Speaker 1: on the prairie, so you'll be wearing lots of petticoats
Speaker 1: and fucking uh crinolines and fucking bonnets.
Speaker 2: Fun.
Speaker 1: But they want minimum ten year commitment, which, to be fair,
Speaker 1: think about it. Right now, you're doing a podcast with
Speaker 1: your father for money.
Speaker 2: Not true for loving, because you gave me no choice.
Speaker 1: I was like, you're doing this so if somebody's like,
Speaker 1: we'll give you ten guaranteed seasons a smittyan sense. Now
Speaker 1: you know, let's say the first two seasons of Smitty
Speaker 1: and Center are always going to be the fucking strongest.
Speaker 1: But that's Hallmark strong. So already you're starting off with
Speaker 1: something that like you're going to have to find the
Speaker 1: emotional truth in all these little You're gonna have to
Speaker 1: work fun satisfaction in this gig. It's going to be
Speaker 1: a money gig because Hallmark. They saw a lot of
Speaker 1: greeting cards.
Speaker 2: So this is guaranteed on Hallmark.
Speaker 1: Who else is gonna pick even we're all right here? Huh?
Speaker 1: What is a what's like a good salary? Like? What
Speaker 1: would you be happy if you were on that? If
Speaker 1: you want to sick? Have you got friends are on
Speaker 1: TV ship? Like do they like is it a what? What? What? Roughly?
Speaker 1: Give me an idea? Is it? Like?
Speaker 2: You don't want to it's a it's too crazy to say,
Speaker 2: it's kind.
Speaker 1: Of crazy high. Yeah, all right, so that crazy high
Speaker 1: money is what you're being offered for ten seasons in
Speaker 1: advance of spinning and son good news in advance.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wait, is the money off the front?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean not upfront there like, here's all fucking
Speaker 1: you know, but when you're done shooting. Yes, And here's
Speaker 1: the thing. Ten seasons you can shoot out in five years.
Speaker 1: So it's five years you life, but ten seasons of television?
Speaker 3: How many episodes a season?
Speaker 1: Twenty? Now you know what, that's old school, well known
Speaker 1: because it's syndicated. You got it. It's twenty twenty perir.
Speaker 1: And to say the episodes are similar every ding, it's.
Speaker 2: It's hard to differentiate that.
Speaker 4: There's no overarching storyline where you're like, does she want
Speaker 4: to become a pilot or does she fly the first
Speaker 4: wright brother's playing No every week is a simple morality.
Speaker 1: Tale about fucking and also trying to keep it in.
Speaker 1: And you're a girl. Oh yes, you're wearing a lot
Speaker 1: of overalls. There's a lot of fucking. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of crush fan fiction written value on law.
Speaker 2: Wow, this is on offer. That is your pass.
Speaker 1: Here's the backstir pugging is brilliant. Mom died like colowist
Speaker 1: some their timing disease, so it's just the three of them.
Speaker 1: And and fucking he knew he's like this town accept
Speaker 1: Smitish daughter, spiny and son. So people feel bad because
Speaker 1: there's like no like women in their life, but really
Speaker 1: there is.
Speaker 2: I mean, this is not a bad idea.
Speaker 1: Bro. If Michael Landon was alive, the guy who did
Speaker 1: the Last in the Prairie and fucking Highway to Heaven
Speaker 1: and shit like that, I could fucking sell him this show.
Speaker 1: I you ain't let me finish that.
Speaker 3: Oh I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: Ten seasons and you're getting paid not fucking friends money,
Speaker 1: but you're getting paid whatever your friend is making on
Speaker 1: that TV show that made you go like it's crazy.
Speaker 1: You're getting paid that twenty episodes of season to do
Speaker 1: the math. I did it. That's big ten seasons, so
Speaker 1: time's out number by ten, so you're out in five
Speaker 1: because he only takes five to shoot ten feeling it
Speaker 1: is the pitch.
Speaker 3: The pitches concluded for.
Speaker 1: The most part.
Speaker 2: No you say no, No, I'm sorry. Here's my reason.
Speaker 1: Last piece? What just in case.
Speaker 2: And all animals are saved in the world.
Speaker 1: This is a Disney Plus show.
Speaker 2: No, this was a Hallmark show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but Hallmark was like, this is better than Plus,
Speaker 1: and so we pitched it to Disney Plus. The Disney
Speaker 1: Plus was like, oh my god, s Minny and Son
Speaker 1: is you know, they're like, fuck Disney Plus. We're gonna
Speaker 1: restart Disney Channel with this ship.
Speaker 5: Oh this is Disney No, No, they're like Disney Plus.
Speaker 3: My answer asked me, no, why are you not.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call Jay and be like, I found another one.
Speaker 2: Here's what I'm just.
Speaker 1: Like, what's his name on that fucking show I'm talking about?
Speaker 1: His dad was in you know, The Godfather. Oh my god.
Speaker 5: We don't like to identify people specifically for their parents, so.
Speaker 2: They're their own person.
Speaker 1: Smithy and Sun Kids isn't a Disney Plus show, though
Speaker 1: it should be.
Speaker 2: But I didn't say my reason, but I just want
Speaker 2: to explain myself.
Speaker 1: I would love to hear I don't.
Speaker 5: Want to seem ungrateful for passing up the opportunity, and
Speaker 5: I just want to share my side. I so to
Speaker 5: to cram forty episodes a year into a year, You've
Speaker 5: got no time off to focus on other creative endeavors.
Speaker 5: So I don't think I could be working on music
Speaker 5: or anything on the side, because I'd be fucking learning
Speaker 5: my memorizing my Smithy and Son's new episode every day.
Speaker 1: Yes and so, but you remember the math, right, you
Speaker 1: did the math the.
Speaker 5: Math, But I I wouldn't be able to be creatively
Speaker 5: fulfilled within the job, nor would I have time outside
Speaker 5: the job.
Speaker 1: Right for five years?
Speaker 2: But that for five years, those are five time years.
Speaker 1: So you would rather have a life, and.
Speaker 2: I would rather have time for If I was this
Speaker 2: was like.
Speaker 5: New episode, new circumstance, not really a storyline that's traveling
Speaker 5: through or life building, totally episodic, then I just don't
Speaker 5: think that sounds so creatively fulfilling.
Speaker 1: Every week you're getting in a jam, every week you're
Speaker 1: getting out of the jam. You gotta do it without
Speaker 1: people fighting out you're a girl.
Speaker 2: That's like, I guess.
Speaker 1: I tell you there's a guest star. Oh and you
Speaker 1: could reach out to anyone you've ever you know admired
Speaker 1: as a performer.
Speaker 2: Is this is she got to learn to make it
Speaker 2: work for you.
Speaker 1: That's so true. Like, if I'm you, one of the
Speaker 1: first thoughts I have is how do I use this
Speaker 1: fucking Spinny and Sun show to meet Courtney Love? That
Speaker 1: is like my first question is can she play the
Speaker 1: mom in the flashbacks? WHOA? So? That? All right?
Speaker 2: You want me over?
Speaker 1: About a week? Spot? As all what?
Speaker 2: I take it all back and take back everything I say.
Speaker 1: Everyone has a price everyone. I I admire that as
Speaker 1: an artist, but as a dad, like we can give
Speaker 1: me that phone Hello, She'll do it. She'll do twenty years.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: We were having a discussion earlier this evening and I
Speaker 1: found it very telling about you know, if there's ever
Speaker 1: moments where I'm like, I wonder if this student's really mind.
Speaker 1: I mean, she looks like me, she sounds like me,
Speaker 1: and she thinks like me. She's the personal wrong. But
Speaker 1: if there's ever a moment, then there are moments where
Speaker 1: you say something like the little delivery ro pop makes
Speaker 1: me sad. So for those that don't, living makes its
Speaker 1: as well. People are using like these little delivery robots.
Speaker 1: The delivery robots, they got four wheels, they got blinky eyes,
Speaker 1: and they're basically like little coolers that have a GPS
Speaker 1: inside and they deliver food. Right. But like I was
Speaker 1: talking when we passed one, and I was like that
Speaker 1: they make me so sad, and how I was like,
Speaker 1: that's they make They make a lot. Well, how do
Speaker 1: you know that?
Speaker 2: I just feel like the general consensus of the.
Speaker 1: Small that makes me they're just so vulnerable, and Wally
Speaker 1: comes to mind.
Speaker 2: I know, it's just when they should have given.
Speaker 1: Them blanky eyes. I'll tell you that much. Every time
Speaker 1: I see one, Like because they're GP, they run on GPS,
Speaker 1: but they'll stop at intersections.
Speaker 2: They see what's going on and they just they want
Speaker 2: to stay out of danger.
Speaker 1: They really do. And I feel I really feel like
Speaker 1: people like, you know, like just take advantage of them.
Speaker 1: Like think about how easy it would be to face
Speaker 1: that in dual wall and then open it and ship
Speaker 1: it use it as a toilet.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So that not only when the delivery shows up is
Speaker 1: the person in life where this I'm not paying. They're
Speaker 1: also the little robot is like fucking secretly shamed. He's caring.
Speaker 1: I can't I know that.
Speaker 6: Har This reminds me of when you would you would say, yes,
Speaker 6: you would try to make me cry.
Speaker 2: That's a child, because you thought my empathy was amusing you.
Speaker 1: Love it it was. I felt this. I do exactly
Speaker 1: how you felt. I had to be more advised. All
Speaker 1: my stuffed animals as well. The next generation, your generation
Speaker 1: called them fluffed animals.
Speaker 3: That was just me.
Speaker 2: That was just a music.
Speaker 3: And stuff seems like it didn't have any soul in it.
Speaker 1: There you go, there's the title of the book, stuff
Speaker 1: Stuffed doesn't have any soul in it.
Speaker 2: Story stuffed without a soul, unstuffed, stuffed and soulss.
Speaker 3: Well and so full and full of soul.
Speaker 1: Oh my god that if you were so adorable, they're like, well,
Speaker 1: because you'd be like you get rid of it. Still
Speaker 1: works like you were when you moved oger to your house.
Speaker 1: All those stuffed animals I brought over.
Speaker 2: I don't get in my tiny ass house.
Speaker 5: You were you brought over boxes.
Speaker 1: Because like those No, it was one big back.
Speaker 2: It was one big gigantic box, and then you carried
Speaker 2: in bigger ones that didn't fit in the box, and
Speaker 2: you came over unannounced and forced me to take it
Speaker 2: by guilting me into it.
Speaker 7: You know about you have nothing but space in your
Speaker 7: big empty house.
Speaker 2: No one lives in.
Speaker 1: In your I think a lot of people's homes look
Speaker 1: like this clutter. This is her grandma's house looks like
Speaker 1: And she didn't even move, She just holds on her
Speaker 1: ship Momily tell him the story of the text that
Speaker 1: she said text.
Speaker 2: Did you see how that ended?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 5: Well, my dad's mom, my grandma slash Momily as we
Speaker 5: call her.
Speaker 1: That's what her mom called her when she was a kid,
Speaker 1: She called her Momily. So we started she said that
Speaker 1: recently we were.
Speaker 2: Like her texting is.
Speaker 1: She's the talk texture.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it doesn't really transfer from her speech.
Speaker 1: She can talk to the phone while she's talking to
Speaker 1: the cat and talking to wherever else you So you
Speaker 1: get this conversation that's kind.
Speaker 2: Of hard to fall like one sentence makes sense and
Speaker 2: like and.
Speaker 1: Then a bunch of it is like, yes, princess, do
Speaker 1: you want some eat? And stay in the game? Pick?
Speaker 1: So what is what.
Speaker 2: One night? No setup, no afterwards.
Speaker 5: Just a photo of the baby Jesus in that little basket.
Speaker 1: Manger, Christmas crush scene, baby Gess in the manger, A
Speaker 1: close up photo of it. That's all. It's really small.
Speaker 1: But we hardly sent it to me with like, oh no,
Speaker 1: she goes. Grandma said this with no context whatsoever.
Speaker 5: I was just like, maybe in retrospect, maybe I should
Speaker 5: have responded to my grandma, but I didn't.
Speaker 1: Know what she was like. I saw it, I said,
Speaker 1: just respond to that. I didn't know what to say,
Speaker 1: and she wrote, what did you write?
Speaker 2: Nothing? I didn't say I.
Speaker 1: Did she follow you?
Speaker 8: And then like.
Speaker 9: Two days Leney, she was like, she said, the same picture.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I don't want my phone.
Speaker 8: I was.
Speaker 2: I wanted to know the exact morning because it was
Speaker 2: so funny. Yours your dad's.
Speaker 5: And I was like, well, I wasn't sure if she
Speaker 5: was referencing the photo from two days ago or she
Speaker 5: forgot to send the picture about something else.
Speaker 1: This was our mind or yours? Which one of you
Speaker 1: owned the Jesus You're like, well, not me?
Speaker 2: And why would it be at your house to Florida?
Speaker 2: But Irish, I did.
Speaker 10: The baby Jesus question Mark, because I again didn't know
Speaker 10: if she was referring to the baby Jesus or if
Speaker 10: she forgot to send a picture of something else in
Speaker 10: a fully new conversation, and she said, she said, honey.
Speaker 11: I know that's the baby Jesus, like I'm the weird
Speaker 11: pictures of the baby Jesus, zero context.
Speaker 12: And two days later sent a different text without any
Speaker 12: context again. So and then she says something else after that,
Speaker 12: and I was like, no, Grandma, that is not mine
Speaker 12: or dads. But her reply was dying, no saucy.
Speaker 1: She was like, I know that's the baby Jesus. I
Speaker 1: knew it before you. Yeah. When we were in Floria
Speaker 1: recently from my month's birthday, we were just talking about
Speaker 1: before my mom was doing this thing like she found
Speaker 1: she discovered that she can make hardly laugh. So she
Speaker 1: fucking died some it. So she's started going like Harley, Harley,
Speaker 1: what and then she was something shitty about my sister
Speaker 1: and the like right right, watch and then she'd say
Speaker 1: or whatever the fuck.
Speaker 2: She's so funny. She really makes me laugh.
Speaker 1: She was delighted that she was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I could fucking I can make her last.
Speaker 2: She's pretty hilarious, to be honest.
Speaker 1: And maybe the other one was jumping Joose. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: jump jo.
Speaker 7: That's so she was like hard really, but she also
Speaker 7: said something like I can't remember exactly what it was
Speaker 7: when she said something to your sister.
Speaker 5: That made her laugh and then she was like, oh
Speaker 5: it made you laugh, Harley, Hey, Harley, And.
Speaker 12: She was like, I can't remember what she said, but
Speaker 12: she was like almost I remember how she was like no, it.
Speaker 2: Was like she just said a word weirdly, like sugar
Speaker 2: or cookies.
Speaker 13: What I think she was like cookies she literally did.
Speaker 2: It's like, so true, Grandma.
Speaker 1: You know what kids me?
Speaker 2: Grandma?
Speaker 1: She fucking rocks. She would be a character ins Midian Sons.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, she comes to visit like once a season,
Speaker 1: but the character's so popular we have to pray her
Speaker 1: in twice a season. So true.
Speaker 3: There's a hiding man for Momily.
Speaker 1: But she's not played, of course, by the real mama.
Speaker 1: She's played.
Speaker 5: Oh I thought Momily was getting an acting break.
Speaker 9: Hey now she's like cookies. Can't have somebody looking at
Speaker 9: the camera and saying, hey, hey look look break the
Speaker 9: fourth wall. And she went to right trying to make a.
Speaker 1: Fucking modern day little house in the prairie for grist sakes.
Speaker 2: That brings the fourth wall.
Speaker 1: What they're like, what is it? Like? I tell you
Speaker 1: it's a butter Scott, Mommily is a butterscotch tasty cake?
Speaker 1: Why cake, butterscotch frosting. You know exactly what your finding.
Speaker 2: Get a classic?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's not like a crimpet where you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's tasty cakes jumping in this, Mamaly is no surprise, mom, Momily,
Speaker 1: you know what you can count on?
Speaker 3: So true?
Speaker 1: Yes, the title not smittying sons.
Speaker 2: Shoot, can that be the name of this instead?
Speaker 1: Yes? Actually, yes, you can count you can cut on.
Speaker 2: For a few days after that trip, we were calling
Speaker 2: each other marble.
Speaker 1: That's true, the strongest.
Speaker 2: So really anyone can be mammally.
Speaker 1: It's meaning sons you're saving Maybe we should take a
Speaker 1: vote for saving that for our fucking Disney blood show.
Speaker 1: That's true. It's a workable concept. If I was j
Speaker 1: j Abrams can make that happen.
Speaker 2: You should just pitch it and then walk away. We
Speaker 2: don't have anything to do.
Speaker 1: It, like we were so into it, but they just.
Speaker 2: Know then they buy it. Yeah, and then we walk away.
Speaker 1: Only way I can fucking sell that is if I'm like,
Speaker 1: we're attached to wife.
Speaker 2: Yeah, mus still the great.
Speaker 1: There, Like, look, the concept is weak. We're buying the
Speaker 1: daughter thing like without her word without you it word way?
Speaker 1: What's the title?
Speaker 7: Wait?
Speaker 2: I forgot?
Speaker 1: Is it?
Speaker 2: You can't trust?
Speaker 1: I thought without mom, you've got nothing? But that's way
Speaker 1: too long.
Speaker 2: With you count nothing.
Speaker 1: From the poorly titled people who brought you vegan AMATOI.
Speaker 2: Wait, but literally, yes, you don't have anything? What about mamally?
Speaker 2: Neither of us try?
Speaker 1: So? Wait? Is that was not the title? You don't
Speaker 1: have anything? But that's what is eluding me.
Speaker 2: I don't remember the original title.
Speaker 1: You get a rolled?
Speaker 2: I wait, are you sure? Listen't you can't just mom?
Speaker 1: It would never be.
Speaker 2: Really don't.
Speaker 1: Trust you know you're sure.
Speaker 2: You can always trust mommy, you can always lean on
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: Like, can count on momily, you can count on?
Speaker 2: No, that doesn't someone's gotta watch that what the original
Speaker 2: title was? But I honestly think without no, no anything
Speaker 2: from that one?
Speaker 14: No down, because you've got two ways like I'm down
Speaker 14: with mom or down, which sounds like an anty mom.
Speaker 1: Really break my mom's heart? Hot? I tried so hard.
Speaker 2: What happened?
Speaker 1: This was the first one, but I cannot remember what
Speaker 1: it was my body and reported will will have figured
Speaker 1: it out and that will be the title.
Speaker 2: But or it could be without Momley, you got nothing,
Speaker 2: because that's a true statement.
Speaker 1: Without Momily, You've got nothing. Such a it's almost like
Speaker 1: it's almost like Momily is the source of all good
Speaker 1: things about Momily, and where would we be poor Mommay
Speaker 1: is the genitor of all things?
Speaker 2: We love love Momley. What if it's Momily, we love
Speaker 2: you love Momy.
Speaker 1: I like no, I like whatever it was that we
Speaker 1: said first, it was ridiculous perfect.
Speaker 2: We can't remember.
Speaker 1: I can't Momily's Homily.
Speaker 2: Mobley's almost all.
Speaker 3: Every week Molly solves a crime.
Speaker 2: I'm not feel like talking about the grand mom be
Speaker 2: so funny because she would just be.
Speaker 1: Like, they're like, what do you think, Detective Momly. She's like,
Speaker 1: hold on, she said, you detective a picture of.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Maybe so Momily should retired, don't you say that process?
Speaker 1: I think she's texting her picture baby Jesus. That's how
Speaker 1: she figures out to cry. She needs to. It's part
Speaker 1: of the process.
Speaker 2: Wait, you just said something. I said, momly.
Speaker 1: Homily, mommy inside is the thing that they do in church.
Speaker 1: That's like after they read the readings then when the priests.
Speaker 1: So you know what that meant and he sums it
Speaker 1: up for you. That's the homily.
Speaker 11: I like Mamley's homicide, so I want to son it's
Speaker 11: like eight o'clock'sicide.
Speaker 1: Maybe ten o'clock right in it Momley's homicide? Was it?
Speaker 1: Somebody else is dead? What again? I gotta feed Princess frum.
Speaker 1: It's almost like it's like fucking murder, she wrote, wrote
Speaker 1: we'll figure out what the title was, but the that
Speaker 1: was good. We said something there was something like God,
Speaker 1: if only we recorded it.
Speaker 2: That's so true.
Speaker 1: Whatever it is, that's gonna be the title. Spinning something
Speaker 1: something dness. Wow, really yeah, I'm sucking spinning side of
Speaker 1: the Hallmark show. I ever heard of it? That's true?
Speaker 1: Say I God, that's fucking that's a syllable concept. Hey man,
Speaker 1: fucking trademark, Kevin Harley. They came.
Speaker 2: Now now we're untouchable.
Speaker 1: I want to share something with you.
Speaker 3: Is it that picture turned upside down.
Speaker 1: And I'm going to show it? Almost so scared the
Speaker 1: camera this camera here that was looking that this. Think
Speaker 1: of Momily? Mm hmmm, Mommily.
Speaker 5: You know, okay, the Momily I was like the person,
Speaker 5: the spirit, the idea, that energy.
Speaker 1: Think of Harley, Harley Cooky. Yeah. So when you think
Speaker 1: of Momily, like you know, seventy, I'm seventy eight years old,
Speaker 1: you're not thinking like there was a time when mom
Speaker 1: only got down in the brown.
Speaker 3: Oh no, that's not what I thought about my grandma.
Speaker 1: This is a photo of your grandfather. Now, because of
Speaker 1: our complicated family history, like, well, I guess it's not
Speaker 1: that complicated for us. My mom is adopted. She's like, wait,
Speaker 1: what what do you mean. I'm like, I didn't tell
Speaker 1: you this. Oh fuck, I left you on our doorstep.
Speaker 1: My mom was adopted, so all the people on her
Speaker 1: side of the family technically we weren't blood with you know.
Speaker 1: Of course, fucking family is what you make of hi shit.
Speaker 1: But in the seventies version of family, which was like
Speaker 1: fucking blood, Mom was a adopted and then she marries Dad,
Speaker 1: so all dad was not adopted, so everyone in his
Speaker 1: family was blood relative. But then Mom and Dad make
Speaker 1: me and Virginia and Donald and we're all blood And
Speaker 1: then I go off and make you with gen and
Speaker 1: we're all blood. I guess we're all blood.
Speaker 3: Do you know how it works?
Speaker 15: I explained to you how you got I do know
Speaker 15: how family trees out, so it stands the reason that
Speaker 15: there are roots of the family tree. Then had to
Speaker 15: begin to begin somewhere.
Speaker 1: I had to begin with Momily getting a fucking sparkle
Speaker 1: in her eye. I would do that, but this fucking stead, Wow,
Speaker 1: that is fucking that. That's Momily's man.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. I just wanted to assume, like.
Speaker 1: Oh, you fucking jacks millennial, fucking raised Don's house. That's hysterical.
Speaker 3: Pinching and will work. Your phone's broken?
Speaker 1: Your's broken?
Speaker 3: Who looks kind of like Uncle Don from Afar?
Speaker 1: What no, let me see? I mean, mister Momiy, mister
Speaker 1: Mommy himself, come Don Smith. Look at him with this
Speaker 1: fucking ride, look at him one hand on it and
Speaker 1: ship cool.
Speaker 3: He looks cool.
Speaker 1: He exudes a bit of fucking like you know, no wonder.
Speaker 3: And he would need to to lock down Momily especially.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I mean, here's the fucking scandal, Momily being
Speaker 1: eighteen at the time, and mister Momley not my father
Speaker 1: was forty two when he married.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, my dad late that.
Speaker 1: Late. That's the only time I can tell you this
Speaker 1: in the light of day. It was so shameful.
Speaker 3: You waited until night was moment, so you're old.
Speaker 1: Enough to angels. Yeah, no, Momily threw it all away
Speaker 1: for twenty seven year old nine years twenty seven and eighteen. Wow,
Speaker 1: So now you're twenty four, so you're past you know,
Speaker 1: the moment, the mamily moment where you're like, I'm eighteen
Speaker 1: and I want to get married for the rest of
Speaker 1: my life.
Speaker 3: I missed that that, I guess, thank god.
Speaker 1: But I mean if you had come to me at
Speaker 1: age eighteen and you're like, I want married twenty seven
Speaker 1: year old, I would have been like, all right, yeah,
Speaker 1: go get ready in your room, and you would have
Speaker 1: got ready and I would have locked the door, nailed
Speaker 1: that shut.
Speaker 12: In this scenario, I'm saying I'm gonna go get married,
Speaker 12: and I'm telling you on the day of my wedding,
Speaker 12: and you're stopping me from getting ready.
Speaker 1: Yes, you waited that long, And I'm like, well, and
Speaker 1: I think it's fair that I can take these two
Speaker 1: bay fours and that fucking nail. The money bedroom door.
Speaker 1: The thing is your door opens in so you just
Speaker 1: like tuck under them.
Speaker 3: I did not have that problem. Yeah that would sorry
Speaker 3: rather you did not have that problem.
Speaker 1: I didn't, But I mean to hear my mother tell
Speaker 1: the story. Her parents didn't have a problem. Her parents
Speaker 1: were like what you seven year old man? What are
Speaker 1: you fucking out of your mind? They were just like,
Speaker 1: here she is, here's a close.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 5: And they probably weren't calling her Momily, because that's who
Speaker 5: called her Momily.
Speaker 1: Now my my grandmother, Momily's mom mom, Mommily's Momily, Grandmomily,
Speaker 1: grandma Grandpapaly and Schultz. She she like, I was super
Speaker 1: in love with my dad, not like you know that,
Speaker 1: but she was like out of the way Momily gangway.
Speaker 1: But he wasn't like a good like good dude. My
Speaker 1: dad like dodad on my grandmother and should like tut
Speaker 1: her along all the time and stuff like that. What
Speaker 1: her lawn motor lawn?
Speaker 3: I see have you ever we've never had a law.
Speaker 1: I guess you're short changed the lawn in life. But
Speaker 1: to be fair, no lawn, no lawn moments. So true,
Speaker 1: my Grandmomily had a fucking literally almost an acre of Prompt,
Speaker 1: pretty corner of K Street, right around the block from
Speaker 1: our house. Tiny ass house, little dolls house, but big
Speaker 1: yard that had to get and two giant trees that
Speaker 1: you know, fucking shed their leaves every fault, so fucking
Speaker 1: yours truly was always fun to ba like leaves, which
Speaker 1: I fucking hated.
Speaker 3: I can't even imagine.
Speaker 1: Mowing the lawn took an hour at least because the
Speaker 1: yard was that fucking big. Like finally, when I was
Speaker 1: like eighteen, one day, they came home with a tractor mower.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, yeah, motherfucker, this is practically a farm.
Speaker 3: You need a tractor to mother, and you just sign
Speaker 3: on it and got to do it.
Speaker 1: Well, my father did because he was like, oh you're
Speaker 1: you're too young for this. But it was like such
Speaker 1: a fucking arduous task. I hated it. I hated when
Speaker 1: my mom was like, you have to go to your
Speaker 1: grandmother's long I'm like, oh my god, I hate so much. Now,
Speaker 1: Like I would I'd pay you cash money to moron.
Speaker 3: Would you you wait, you would pay to mold that
Speaker 3: lawn again?
Speaker 1: Maybe not. I might pay someone to mother lawn and
Speaker 1: back and be like.
Speaker 11: Yeah, yeah, mote that lawn you would get to live
Speaker 11: a day and mom Lely's shoes, Momily shoes.
Speaker 1: Momily went out to get her mail with her walker
Speaker 1: and fucking fell. What this is going back like two years?
Speaker 1: Fell and felt like under the walker too, and like
Speaker 1: couldn't get up from for a while. She's like like that.
Speaker 1: I was thirty minutes. I was trying to get out
Speaker 1: of the Yeah, like a turtle. She was like, oh no,
Speaker 1: she was like snapper, Oh no. She was like, is
Speaker 1: this end?
Speaker 3: She eventually got up, but that's so tragic.
Speaker 1: Well, my was like this, this is touching his frozen right.
Speaker 3: Her stuck under a walk I know.
Speaker 1: She's just like, oh, Harley, come here, Harley, Harley.
Speaker 3: Cookies, Harley.
Speaker 1: She stuck under the chair. She fine. Finally manages to
Speaker 1: get her phone and started calling the police. She said,
Speaker 1: you're a picture of the baby. Jesus going, who is this?
Speaker 2: Please?
Speaker 1: Who is this?
Speaker 3: Hardy Harley? Who is this?
Speaker 1: So when that happened, and you know, fucking she talks
Speaker 1: about so casually, and I was like, no, you live
Speaker 1: in Florida. If you fall on the ground and can't
Speaker 1: get up for half an hour, you are literally gator bait.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Could you imagine if I was like, sit down, passed
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh god, that sucks. I was like, yes,
Speaker 1: but it gets worse. What do you mean, how did
Speaker 1: she die? Well? Momily fell under her walker, she was
Speaker 1: trapped for half an hour and alligator fucking.
Speaker 3: I feel like this is someone's story. Probably this has
Speaker 3: probably happened, no way.
Speaker 1: But that's what I literally said that to my mother.
Speaker 1: I was like, mah, like, I'm not even joking. I'm
Speaker 1: not even like trying to like be funny about it.
Speaker 1: Like an old lady on the ground not far from
Speaker 1: water because there she lives in her park. There's water nearby.
Speaker 1: So could you imagine Mamily's under the phone, under the walker,
Speaker 1: and the fucking TikTok croc gets out of the water.
Speaker 8: And sees her, and she's just like, dude, like jump
Speaker 8: Jones proms because us out here.
Speaker 3: Momiy no, why I hate this scenario.
Speaker 1: The next time you talk to Momily, like way more
Speaker 1: careful when you go out to the man. I was like, mah,
Speaker 1: I love you to death, but you cannot die being
Speaker 1: eaten by an alligator, because that's all anyone will ever
Speaker 1: remember about me. So so fish.
Speaker 3: Hey, what she wants to go out that way?
Speaker 1: She's like tiger, that's my dream. I was like, oh no,
Speaker 1: oh no, I worked too hard to suddenly fucking lose
Speaker 1: all this to like dinnis. Yes, she did'nish walker that's
Speaker 1: what she wanted. I don't know somehow communicated that.
Speaker 3: I'm not really sure what it was about.
Speaker 1: Show you a picture of my dead dad. It's pretty hot.
Speaker 3: There he is, there, he is, he does.
Speaker 1: Think about it. You're fucking story is tied to his story. This,
Speaker 1: this motherfucker right here, look at him, has no idea.
Speaker 1: You're who you will one day be.
Speaker 3: It's true.
Speaker 1: This has no idea right now in this photo. You
Speaker 1: don't even know if I'm gonna be.
Speaker 3: That's so true. And here we are two Momily's at
Speaker 3: a table, and.
Speaker 1: That's fucking crazy that dude, because that dude stood there
Speaker 1: next to that car in this picture. We both exist
Speaker 1: because that's what fucking Mammily was like, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I would throw my panties in his face.
Speaker 16: Oh, come on, that's what they did in the fucking sixties,
Speaker 16: and they threw panties in men's faces.
Speaker 1: Please, that's what my dad said.
Speaker 3: It's midnight and it's so show about Mommily is going
Speaker 3: to grow off.
Speaker 1: You're twenty four, Sometimes, Mommily.
Speaker 3: I'm twenty five. I wanted to see I wanted to
Speaker 3: see you your aren't you?
Speaker 1: I know?
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