Speaker 7: Welcome everyone to Faith and Purpose podcast.
Each episode of this podcast contains the personal testimony of an ordinary person
transformed by an extraordinary God.
My name is Kaylin and I'm here to introduce this podcast
for my friend Jesse Duke.
Jesse is a husband, father, author, life recovery guide, lay counselor,
and small group leader, but his most important role is disciple.
As a disciple of Jesus.
Jesse created this podcast to help other believers tell their faith stories.
We'll be hearing the personal testimonies of all sorts of people
who have one thing in common, Jesus has transformed their lives.
Jesus used parables because he created us to learn best through story.
And as we listen to how God has worked in others lives, we find encouragement
and inspiration for our own faith walk.
Whether you are already a believer or just a curious seeker, we believe that
as you listen to these stories, you will be encouraged on your own faith journey.
We are sure that God can speak to you through one of these episodes and that you
will see that our Heavenly Father truly works all things together for our good.
When we simply love and trust him.
If you are currently going through a trial, we believe that you will come
to see that your troubles, heartbreaks, and failures are not gravestones, but
stepping stones into new life in Christ.
Here's Jesse with today's guest.
Speaker 2: Welcome everybody to the Faith and Purpose podcast.
Today we are very fortunate to have our friend Kay here to share her
story and my wife Becky is going to be asking questions and hearing Kay's
story, so I hope you enjoy this.
So Becky, you and Kay just relax and have a good conversation.
Becky: Thank you, Jesse.
And welcome everyone, we welcome Kay today, Kay Griffin, so let's get
started Kay, you've got quite a story, and I know a little bit about it.
Yes.
And I want you to go ahead and start, tell us about how you found
Jesus in your life and what that has meant to you through the years.
Oh, thank you, Becky.
it's humbling.
share this story.
I've done it many times to different groups, primarily to women, but
occasionally there have been men in the group and they too.
have been touched by what the father has done.
everyone has a story.
This is my story, but it is also the story of God, how much he
loves us, the plans he has for us.
And how he can bring his good from seeming tragedy.
So, when I was very young,
my family situation was at times very difficult.
when I was four, my birth mother asked my father for a divorce.
He had been a very young Marine in World War II.
After he arrived home, he met my mother at Parris Island and they
married and dad decided to give his life to God in service as a minister.
I don't know what difficulty there may have been for my birth mother, but
she decided that she needed to leave.
So she asked my father for a divorce
and dad said the only way he would agree to that was if he
got custody of me, which he did.
So daddy and I moved in with his parents who lived right next door, which was a
tremendous gift from my heavenly father.
Both of my grandparents were good people.
But my grandmother was an angel on earth, and it wasn't just
her family who thought that.
she had kept me during the four years my parents were married.
And then she kept me again from age four to six.
So that was a great blessing.
Of course, even though dad was a pastor, he also worked, for a
trucking company, not as a driver.
He worked in the warehouse for additional income, and he met a young widow there.
She had two children, a son and a daughter.
Her first husband had died while she was still pregnant with their daughter.
But, dad just fell for her head over heels.
And they got married on February 9th, the day before my 6th birthday.
because dad was a young, very dedicated man.
He spent a lot of time with the Faith family, and then also with other
pastors, different conferences, and also going out into the world to
tell people how great our God is.
and that God sent his son to live on earth and to die a
brutal death to save us from sin.
So what did that mean to me?
It meant that my dad was mostly an absentee father.
so my stepmother raised me.
It was difficult.
I will start by saying I think she likely did the best she could.
With the situation she was in.
She was young, 21, 22.
she was a widow already with two children.
She married this man who had become a Baptist minister.
And there was a six year old girl tagging along.
She and I were very different.
not that either one of us was good or bad.
We were just different.
And my guess is that she just didn't understand me.
Maybe even wondered what planet I came from.
she was very critical.
saying things to me and to me in front of other people.
Something like, it's the quiet ones you know you have to watch out for.
And there was physical abuse, but it was only one thing, and it was devastating.
Whenever her anger caused her to lose control, she would slap me in the face.
It didn't matter whether we were at home, at church, out in public.
That hand would come quicker than I knew it was coming.
why did she do that to me?
I don't know for sure that I even thought, why does Jesus let her do that to me?
It was just too stunning.
And I was a shy, quiet child.
My grandmother was a shy, quiet lady.
And I emulated her.
And I remain thankful for that.
Um,
was I worthless?
my daddy's a pastor, shouldn't I be?
Mm hmm.
worth something.
there were a few things that occurred and some were just so good.
But being in the frame of mind I was, I would think less of myself.
I'll give you a beautiful example.
my stepbrother, was a year younger than me.
So when I was age seven and he was age six.
At the end of the service, when Daddy extended the invitation for
anyone to come down front and give their life to Jesus, please come.
my terrific step brother, I didn't know it at the time, but I learned it in my 20s,
he got up and walked down and talked to Dad and committed his life to Jesus.
Well, I'm sitting in the pew going, uh oh, I'm a year older than him.
I'm daddy's biological child and I haven't done this.
What's wrong?
So without really thinking about it, I got up and walked down and told
daddy I was ready too to accept Jesus.
That wasn't a bad thing, but I didn't really know what I was doing.
So years passed and my stepmother stopped.
Slapping me in the face.
I don't know how that came about.
But I was very thankful.
However, she was still very critical of me.
for instance, one year, uh, this very small church in Forest Park,
Georgia had this massive Christmas story with people from the faith
family acting as Joseph and Mary.
And there was even a tiny baby.
And all of the choirs.
Even in the small church, we had multiple choirs.
I went, I and my brother were in the junior choir.
He had a great voice, still does.
Me, not so much.
So, we were waiting to process into the sanctuary and I was talking to the
girl either in front of me or behind me and my mother screamed at me to shut.
I probably wasn't really in the frame of mind to experience this beautiful pageant.
And I was a little hesitant about it to begin with because Mother
had me play the role of a donkey.
I'm a little nine year old girl who wanted to be Cinderella,
but I had to sing the part.
Um,
another example that I didn't really think about until I
was much older is, Halloween.
It was a great thing in our tiny little community.
We lived around a lake.
So we were, my brother and I were allowed to walk with friends all the way around
the circle of the lake and trick or treat.
My costume was a monkey.
She chose it.
She chose that.
I wanted to be Cinderella.
At the very least, it's no white.
But I was the monkey.
Neither one of these things I've just shared with you in itself
would cause a lifetime of hurt and the reason to become an introvert.
But as a whole, they did.
I'm not saying that my stepmother destroyed me.
Satan, for whatever reason, had to have been at work.
So I withdrew even further.
I did have a couple of very good friends in high school.
They lived nearby and they were very tolerant that I rarely talked.
Couldn't go to a lot of the activities.
certainly didn't participate in anything in high school like The band or the
flag team or a club or whatever.
I felt I was worthless.
Now, my dad was still a minister until I reached age 16.
And at that time he left the ministry, I think, because he recognized
there was very little prospect of him being able to afford college.
For four children.
that's right.
I neglected to mention that my dad and my stepmother had a baby girl shortly
after they married, so I was the oldest.
My stepbrother was a year younger than me.
My stepsister was a few younger than my brother.
And then 18 months.
between my stepsister and my half sister.
Um, I'm sorry I'm pausing so much.
Some of these memories are difficult to verbalize.
But, Mother wasn't horrible to me all the time.
but I just stayed in my room.
thankfully, through my birth mother, I learned the love of reading.
My, my birth mother was not absent from my life, completely,
but she was gone a long time.
She, went to work as a civil servant, civil service person for the government
and, was stationed in Germany for a few years and, met another man.
that sounded weird.
I'm sorry.
She met a very nice man who was in the air force in Germany.
And they married.
And then I have two half brothers from that marriage.
mom would send me books, black Beauty, treasure Island, Robinson, Caruso.
some of you, miss listening, may not know who those books are about, , but
they were pretty popular in the 1950s.
so I learned to read.
And I also learned to play solitaire.
Of course I would play solitaire.
I didn't have enough confidence to play even old maid with other people.
So I was in my room a lot.
And my stepmother would tease me about that.
I just wanted to stay out of the way.
I didn't want to bring any disparaging remarks down on my head.
I did enjoy my brother and my two sisters, lovely people, my two sisters
were not tiny taros, but they were little taros to me and, to each other.
They would do things around the house and then tell mother that I did them,
but she was smart enough to know.
So I didn't get punished for anything that they did.
Probably did.
so your dad had gotten out of the ministry?
Yes.
Thank you, Becky, for getting me back on track.
dad left the ministry, which wasn't really traumatic for me.
It certainly was for his mother.
She just couldn't understand it.
But at any rate, dad became a successful businessman.
And, when I graduated high school, there was money to send me off to college.
So I didn't go far, but I did live on campus.
It was, maybe an hour and a half, two hours from home.
So for the first time in my life, I had freedom to a certain degree.
Now granted, I did go to my classes, I did go where I was to be, I had been taught to
be obedient, certainly by my grandmother and then also by daddy and my stepmother.
So I, I did what I was supposed to do, but I lost my way.
I lost my way wanting to be liked, wanting to fit in.
So somehow I was brave enough to, interact with a few people when
there were very small groups.
And in the second semester, which was in the winter of 1965, a guy
transferred in from New York.
So I was introduced to this guy and we began to hang out together
and then we dated and then it might have been two times, it might have
been three, I really don't remember.
We had sex, off campus of course.
I wasn't coerced, I just wanted to be light.
So I said, looking for love, why not?
It was unprotected sex.
So I left my freshman year of college and went home in May
and discovered I was pregnant.
Oh golly, I am worthless.
There's nothing good about me.
What have I done?
What is my daddy gonna say?
How can I tell anybody that I'm going to have a baby?
I was scared to death.
not really to death, but I was pretty scared.
And I had walked so far away from Christian faith,
I didn't even think to pray.
I didn't ask our Heavenly Father.
I didn't ask my Lord Jesus.
I didn't ask the Holy Spirit who indwelled me.
Why do I do?
So I waited
until my fifth month to tell my parents that I was pregnant.
The first thing Daddy had to do was cancel.
My sophomore year at college, because of course I couldn't go.
it was not something that people were okay with as it seems society
is today to be an unwed mother.
this was before Roe v.
Wade, and I'm very thankful for that.
I don't think that my father being a Christian man, he was.
would have asked that of me, but because I had no self esteem, had I
been told to do that, I might have.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 3: Yes.
So I am very grateful to our Heavenly Father that I did not
have to face that decision.
My dad took over, made all the decisions, which was normal, because I knew I
wasn't good enough to make any decisions.
Especially not now, not after that decision to have unprotected
sex with a boy I hardly knew who was from Yonkers, New York.
my dad made the decision that I would give my child up.
And, in God's divine plan, my daddy's sister, her husband and three
sons, lived in Phoenix, Arizona.
So daddy contacted my aunt who just, she was almost a
carbon copy of my grandmother.
So those two women were the bright spots of my life.
I did have wonderful female role models.
My mother didn't want me, my stepmother didn't like me, but my grandmama and
my aunt loved me to the moon and back.
Thank you, Jesus.
that's how Jesus steps in isn't.
Mm-Hmm.
. at times I have had great regret, Becky, that I didn't recognize
it immediately when I was given such beautiful gifts by the Lord.
But, I'm so happy that I've lived long enough.
That I think I know, or I'm aware of, most of, is great love for me.
So, I flew for the very first time on a plane from Georgia to Phoenix,
Arizona, and, my three cousins, one who was the oldest, was the
same age I was, and then there were two stair step younger brothers.
They were so loving to me.
They were thrilled to have Cousin Kay in their home, even though one, they
all had their own bedrooms, so one had to double up with another one.
So I could have my own bedroom.
I was there from October until I delivered in February.
my aunt and uncle were such godly people, just loved on me,
just took such great care of me.
We all went to church as a family on Sundays.
I think my aunt and uncle probably shared with their friends a
fabrication of my situation.
The Vietnam War in 1965 was beginning to get, bad So I think they told their
friends that my husband was in Vietnam.
I doubt many people believed that.
Why wouldn't I be with my family in Georgia instead of with them?
But everybody was nice to me.
Nobody, looked at me like, she's not worth much.
going to worship service with this family that just loved me,
brought me not back to Jesus just yet, but reminded me that He's alive, He
cares, He's loving, and He's amazing.
I gave birth on February 14th, in 1966.
The adoption was arranged through the physician's office.
I knew nothing about the couple, and they knew very little about me.
That's the way it was supposed to be.
And I was not allowed to know anything about my baby.
nothing.
And not allowed to see the child, certainly.
I'll digress a little bit, Becky.
If I had held my baby, I don't think I could have given her up.
I really don't.
Yet, I was fully confident that I was doing what was right for her.
No, I did not know the sex of my baby.
I had a fairly easy birth, I think.
my aunt and uncle's pastor came to the hospital.
and sat with me for a little while the one night I was there.
And before he left, of course, he prayed for me.
And in his prayer, this lovely man, without thinking about
it, prayed for my baby girl.
He used the word, she.
What a gift from my Heavenly Father.
I knew I had a girl.
I would have been just as overjoyed had it been a boy.
But knowing my baby girl was going to bring joy to a couple gave me peace.
I was still a mess.
I was such a mess.
I might have transferred to my child all the insecurities and hurts.
Not that I would have done anything to her as was done to me, but
I was just too insecure to be the mother I wanted her to have.
She was born February 14th, my birthday, February 10th.
Valentine's Day, how good is our God?
Valentine's Day.
So that was always a bittersweet day for me.
of course it brought joy to think about my little girl, age one, age
two, age four, age 10, whatever.
so that was just really sweet.
But I have to say Mother's Day was always.
So terribly difficult.
I never had another child.
I don't know why, but I did not.
She is my only child.
So I flew back home to Georgia and nothing was talked about.
Nothing.
How do you feel?
What do you want to do now?
None of that that I recall, which was fairly typical in my relationship
with my dad and my stepmom.
Everybody just acted like normal.
Now my stepbrother and my stepsister knew what had happened.
They were in the other room the evening that I told my parents I was pregnant.
My youngest sister, my half sister, didn't know until many years later.
it was decided for me that I would go to business school,
certainly not go back to school.
so I would ride the bus from my grandparents house to downtown Atlanta
to go to business school, ride back home.
And that was my existence.
However,
down the street from our house lived, uh, mom and dad, two sons, Both sons were
great friends of my brother and my sister.
Their dad was a pilot for Delta Air Lines.
And I don't remember exactly how it came about.
He had me interview with his great friend who was over all the flight
attendants for Delta Airlines.
So I became a flight attendant.
Mousy, insecure, little K.
So I was thrust into having to say, Hello, how may I help you?
What can I get you to drink?
things like that.
And Forced to be with a group of women, other flight attendants.
and, just to digress a little bit, Through that wonderful job I
had, It was wonderful back then, I understand it's not so much now.
I had four friends, we were all roommates.
That was in 1967.
We are still good friends.
We email each other every Friday just relaying the events of
the week or what's upcoming.
Wonderful, wonderful friends.
Four of us lived around the Atlanta area.
One married a fellow And she lives in Minnesota, but I digressed.
I'm sorry.
I had that job as a flight attendant, and I still didn't have the relationship with
our Heavenly Father, with the Lord Jesus, or the Holy Spirit, that I could have had.
I knew they were there, but what they want to have to do with me?
I knew going to church was a good thing, and I could do that easily,
but just going to church, that doesn't mean you have a relationship.
they were there, they were as close as my breath, but I chose not to be
involved, unconsciously chose that.
I want to share with you that we cannot do anything so bad.
that it will cause God to love us any less.
But at that time in my life, I did not know it.
Even into my mid twenties, I didn't know it.
I also didn't know He had a plan for me.
Um, my third marriage started in 1982.
Before we married, I told him that I had a child.
so.
In the early 1990s,
I happened to read an article in a magazine about an agency in Nevada
that helped people find each other.
in my mind, I put two and two together.
Nevada borders Arizona.
why not contact this agency?
this was before computers, before email.
I applied for an application.
I wrote for an application and, received it, completed it, and submitted it.
Hopeful, but not expecting anything as a result.
Little did I know that God really did have a plan.
It was Him.
It was the Lord Jesus.
It was the Holy Spirit who had me pick up that magazine.
And turn the page to the article about this agency.
So my life went on.
It was not a bad life.
It was just lukewarm.
I did decide to renew my relationship with God.
I knew that I needed God in my life.
So I had lived for years without him.
Now I knew I needed to live.
However, my participation with the Father mostly was just sitting in the
pew on Sunday morning, listening to the prayers, singing the old hymns,
listening to the message, telling everyone, nice to see you, have a
good week, shaking the pastor's hand, walking out the door, going home.
Of course, I was sitting by myself.
I did finally decide to participate in Sunday school.
and I also diligently tried to serve in isolated activities at church.
for example, working in the church library.
It was just me in there, helping people find books.
or receiving books back that they had checked out.
But nothing was fulfilling.
Nothing was.
Were you still also a flight attendant?
I'm sorry, no, I left that part out.
again, I'll digress a little bit.
My first husband, had been in ROTC when he attended Georgia Tech, and after he
graduated with his engineering degree, He was committed to serve in the army.
he was stationed out in Fort Collins, Colorado before being shipped to Vietnam
and no, he did not serve on the front lines, but I had asked the gentleman
who oversaw the personnel operations, if I could have a leave of absence and
his answer was no, because I was, again, the So when secure, I didn't push back.
I just said, okay, then I'm going to have to resign because I want these.
three months before my husband goes to Vietnam with him every day.
So thank you for reminding me I didn't explain that part.
But I still stayed in touch with those dear roommates, precious women.
So tried Sunday school, tried the volunteer activities,
and nothing was fulfilling.
What was wrong with me?
Nothing really worked.
I was still empty inside.
I was trying to find a relationship with God.
But I was still empty.
I couldn't find my place.
I was, I just felt so alone.
during all of 2005, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I stayed
away from church completely.
I didn't have bad feelings, I just thought, Okay, Frank won't go to church
with me, I'm gonna stay home with him.
Maybe we can watch church on TV, or at least listen, to something,
and of course that never happened.
I'm not 100 percent sure why I made that choice to stay away for a whole year.
So, by neglecting to do anything for Jesus, for our Heavenly Father, I
still was really lukewarm in my faith.
I knew He was there, but He wasn't here, as close as my breath, in 2006,
I'd had enough of staying away from church, and I finally
surrendered myself, completely.
What was it different from before you may be wondering?
I was just completely, absolutely weary of being so frightened of everything
and so unsure of everything in my life.
I'd had enough of that.
I didn't want that anymore.
And thus, I finally recognized that I had no one to turn to.
But God, if I really wanted my life to improve, yes, I had
a husband, I had my family.
I had those precious friends from when I was a flight attendant, but
it didn't fill me up like I wanted it to be filled.
So it's okay.
The great surrender.
Yes.
I had put up an invisible wall between my family and me.
Of course, I still went to family gatherings.
but there was just a wall there.
so in 2006, I decided it was time to change.
I had no clue what was going to occur in 2006.
But God did.
Jesus did.
The Holy Spirit did.
In March of that year, I went back to my home church during
my first worship service back.
I was taken by the music.
Even though I couldn't sing.
I always enjoyed music.
I never sung in a choir before, but guess what?
This is unbelievable.
The Holy Spirit told me to join the choir.
Join the choir?
Are you kidding me?
But he kept poking me, if you want to look at it that way.
Join the choir.
I don't know how long I waited, but it was a while.
And I don't know how I got up nerve enough to go to church on Wednesday night,
which was when choir practice occurred.
And I walked in and because I had just been a pew sitter,
I had no clue where to go.
So I started down a hall, and coming toward me was a lovely
woman that I had met when I had attempted to go to Sunday school.
She was in the orchestra.
So I said, Beth, I'm trying to find where the choir rehearses.
Oh, I'll take you.
Come on.
we walked through a lot of people, and there was the choir
room right behind the sanctuary.
So, as we got to the door, there was, just this short, big
personality woman who said, Hi!
And Beth introduced the lady and I, and this sweet woman says, What do you sing?
What do I sing?
I have no idea.
I said, I don't know.
And Sharon said, That's alright, come with me, we'll figure it out.
I spent six years making a joyful noise, and it was wonderful.
It was wonderful.
that was really a positive step.
I'm not going to say the Holy Spirit pushed me, because the Holy
Trinity doesn't operate that way.
I had to make a choice.
Forget it, or obey it.
so glad I obeyed.
so glad.
there was another big change coming.
In the fall of 2006, I took a giant leap and attended a Thursday
night women's group at my church.
I walked in not knowing one single person.
Those ladies
loved me from the start.
Not because of who I was, But because of who Jesus was in them, they thought I had
worth and they wanted to get to know me.
They really wanted to get to know me.
They thought I might be a good friend.
So I kept attending and the walls began to crumble.
Such freedom when those chains fall, when the walls crumble.
And I knew, I'm gonna get emotional, I knew my God was outside
waiting for me to step out of that rubble.
Well, I'm not really good at athletics but I think I jumped over that pile of rubble.
that's the way it is.
yeah.
My heart jumps all the time when I think about certain things
regarding the Holy Trinity.
I had finally allowed Jesus to get me into action.
He had allowed me to decide whether or not to open, completely
open, the door of my life to Him.
He does not force.
He knocks on the door and waits for us to open it and answer
and say, Welcome, my Lord.
How grateful I am that at long last, I did have an ear to
hear and know it was for me.
No matter what had occurred in my prior life, Jesus had died a
brutal death to wash me of my sins.
Me!
That worthless little six year old girl.
And now this older woman.
let's get to the really good next step.
Sunday after Thanksgiving in 2006, I received a phone call
from the agency in Nevada.
The International Soundex Reunion Registry.
It's an odd name, but they were an amazing organization.
The kind woman who called me said that they knew they had found my daughter.
found my daughter,
Kay, what would you like to do about this?
And I just wanted to shout, what do I want to do?
I want to know her.
But this lovely woman said that she would not tell me at that time anything about
my daughter, that she would call her, tell her they had found her biological
mother and ask her what she wanted to do.
So, a few hours later, this lovely woman called back and said that my daughter
would call me the following evening.
So, on Monday evening, I got a phone call like no other I've ever had in my life.
We talked for about an hour and a half, and it was amazing.
My daughter was so kind, so interested in me.
She never once said anything like, How could you do that?
Why did you give me up?
She shared so much about her life.
It turns out that her adoptive parents were both deceased.
she said she wasn't sure that she would have tried to find me.
until after they had died.
But a few years, her mother was the last to die and a few years after that death,
my daughter's best friend said, don't you think it's time to find your mother?
So Cindy filled out the application and sent it in to this agency in Nevada.
And in one week, there was an immediate match.
I had waited from the early 1990s.
November of 2006.
She only had to wait a week.
Which is perfect.
It's perfect for me.
So, Cindy went on to tell me that I had four grandchildren.
My cup overflowed.
Two girls and two boys.
At that time, they were ages two and three.
four, nine, and thirteen.
Now they are nineteen, twenty one, twenty six, and thirty.
They live in a suburb of Denver, Colorado.
That's kind of far, but it's okay.
Delta flies there, because, we were approaching the Christmas holidays
and they had specific plans with her husband's family members.
I decided to wait until January to fly out to Denver to actually see them.
In the meantime, This sweet woman sent me a notebook with copies of
photographs from her life, from infant, age two, elementary school, high school.
it was just The most beautifully overwhelming thing.
Overwhelming is probably the wrong word.
That has a negative connotation.
But, it just brought me so much joy.
and of course, she sent a nice letter.
framed portrait of she and her husband and the four kids.
So in January, I flew out to Denver, never been out there before.
And it's a gorgeous place, by the way, if you haven't been.
When I walked into the airport terminal and got to the top of the escalator,
there she was with the four children.
She had allowed the older two to stay out of school.
And those precious kids were holding a precious child.
Huge sign that they had drawn, welcome grandma Kay.
I still have the sign.
Still have the sign.
Oh, as an aside, my sister who was a little crazy, by the way, she said, are
you going to let them call you grandma?
My response was, Laura, they can call me anything they want to.
As long as they know I am their grandmother.
the older two understood, the situation, circumstance of Cindy's birth.
The younger two, I mean, she told them who knows how much, probably the
two year old didn't really understand anything, but they were precious to me.
Probably because Cindy was so loved and so precious.
so we drove from the airport to their house, about half an hour drive.
And Cindy took me upstairs to the room they use as their guest bedroom.
And when I walked in, Becky, there was an enormous bouquet of red roses.
There were 40 of them.
She was 40 years old.
And she said, Kay, these are for you.
They're just 40 years
Speaker 4: left.
Speaker 3: Ooh, that would have brought tears.
Yes, I did.
I did cry.
I didn't sob.
I had happy tears.
Finally, I was like Cinderella.
she left me to go start working on dinner and for me to
unpack and hang up my things.
I heard the garage door open and heard Chris, her husband, walk into the house.
So, I stopped what I was doing before I got to the bottom of the stairs.
This wonderful man walked across the den with his arms outstretched
saying, Welcome to the family, Kay.
I didn't sob.
I held it together.
That was such a gift.
I mean, God gave me so many gifts that week of sharing with them.
Speaker 2: It was like
Speaker 3: having a son.
Yes.
Yes, both of his parents are deceased now, so I am beginning to
treat him more and more like a son.
and he's responding well.
one day, she and I had the blessing of having breakfast just the two of us
because the kids would go off to school.
the little ones were still asleep and Chris had left for work, so
we just had this lovely breakfast.
Time with coffee and English muffins or whatever.
And one morning she handed me a piece of paper.
It was the note that I had written to her adoptive parents.
I didn't, I couldn't tell them anything about myself.
I couldn't, I didn't even sign my name.
But I wanted to tell them that this was the hardest thing
I would ever do in my life.
And that is true.
Mother, this was the note you gave them at the hospital.
I gave it to the doctor's office who gave it to the attorney who gave it to them.
Man, four years.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Yeah.
Her mother had saved it.
and given it to Cindy when they felt Cindy was old enough to be told and
understand what, what had occurred.
so I was very touched that her adoptive mother had given it to
her and that Cindy had saved it.
And then let me know she had it.
And before I flew out there, again, a nudge from the Holy Spirit, I pulled
together things about, my dad's family, and the few things I had from my
biological mother about her family.
So Cindy would know her heritage, and she had shared with me that
one thing that had been somewhat problematic for her is that whim.
She would need to give medical history.
She could never tell what her mom and dad, had experienced.
speaking of her dad, I got so enthusiastic with my part of this story.
I forgot to relate anything about him.
I wrote him at the urging of my dad to tell him that I was pregnant.
so he knew, but there was never any.
Never any contact, between he and I.
I think maybe his mother got involved, with my dad or with
my aunt, I'm not really sure.
he knew he had a child, but that's all he knew.
And, I had no idea how to find him when I, when Cindy and I found
each other, so it was just there.
but one evening Chris had arranged for Cindy and I to go to a very
nice restaurant in downtown Denver.
And when we got to dessert, she looked at me with sort of
a puzzling facial expression.
Kay, what can you tell me about my father?
And I had to respond, hardly anything.
His, last name is somewhat unusual, and I won't share that in this podcast.
and that he lived in, that he had lived.
in Yonkers, New York, and that was all I knew.
But she appreciated that I could at least tell her how I met
him and, what had transpired.
So, the end of the week came and it was time for me to fly back home.
God is so in the details.
They had a snow storm and the airport closed.
So I was there for two more days.
Now I'm not saying God did that just for me, but I thanked him anyway.
So,
I went home and, life surely did change for me.
I was so very happy.
my husband's initial reaction, When I let him know about the
phone call was somewhat negative.
he doesn't trust people easily.
So he said, Kay, you need to be very careful.
You don't know what she might want from you.
I said, Frank, God's hand is all over this and I have no worries about that.
So he just worried about it all on his own.
I had visited her in January of 2007.
In March of 2007, Cindy flew to Georgia to meet the family.
my stepmother had died in, 1996.
So, she never got to meet Cindy.
anyway, when dad came to our home to meet her for the first time, it was,
it was so sweet and it was so sad and it was so amazing.
He walked in the door, hugged and began to cry and repeatedly
told her how sorry he was.
That he had made me give her up,
that he had regretted it for years.
He seriously thought about trying to find her, but my aunt and uncle had
talked him out of trying to do that.
And he finally understood that it was best for her.
Oh, Becky, I just remembered something I left Alice.
What?
This, again, God, it's so amazing.
In the, documents that I had shipped out to Cindy before my first visit
there, I had included a family tree of just my father's side of the family.
a cousin, second cousin, third cousin, whatever, had done
it for a project for school.
And so Cindy got that out while I was there and we were looking at it.
And when we got to my dad and my biological mother, and then there was me,
she saw my full name.
My name is Cynthia K.
Her parents did not know, My name, but she is named Cynthia Marie.
She cried.
So, believe me listeners, God is in the details.
I will begin now to focus on
what the Holy Trinity has done for me.
I don't know that there is such a thing as the worst sinner ever.
But yeah, I was a sinner.
I was a sinner for years.
And don't be thinking in your mind, people, that, Oh yeah, it's those
preacher's kids you have to worry about.
Uh uh.
Don't go there.
It's just that they're in the spotlight.
More than children who are not pastor's kids.
even though I had been so very sinful,
Jesus blood wiped it all out.
Completely.
Our Heavenly Father had turned a disastrous mistake
into something beautiful.
Absolutely beautiful.
In Him, there was redemption and transformation.
Through His glorious blood.
My life was completely transformed.
So, could you give advice right now to our listeners?
Oh, absolutely Becky.
Absolutely.
No matter who you are,
our Lord is right there with you.
And I mean wherever you are.
If you feel like you are in the depths of hell, Jesus is there.
Jesus is as close as your breath waiting for you.
Don't leave that door closed.
Throw that door open.
Look in his wonderful face and let him shower you with love.
But you have never, ever known
if and when you accept Him as Lord of your life, you will receive a great gift
in that the Holy Spirit will indwell you.
What does that mean, Kay?
The Holy Spirit?
He is the advocate for you.
He will guide you.
He will convict you.
He will comfort you.
You will not hear an audible voice.
At least, that's been my experience.
okay, thank you.
Okay, just feel the depth of your sincerity.
There's so much love as you give this gift to those who are listening.
Yeah.
And I was wondering, would you mind praying for those?
I will absolutely.
Do we have a minute for me to share a couple of other
experiences or am I out of time?
Okay.
I'm just real quickly, folks, through God's glorious intervention, I began
to serve him in areas of ministry that I would never have thought possible.
He has had me witness in my home, in the workplace, people.
And with many people who were strangers, he sent me on mission trips overseas
to Kenya, six times and to Costa Rica.
Once he has given me the privilege of leading women's Bible studies, as well
as other women's faith based activities.
Me, who was afraid of my own shadow.
I am not proud of giving you my credentials for the past 18 years.
I can't brag about anything.
What I want you to hear is that God is amazing.
His amazing grace saved a wretch like me.
He loved me through it all.
Praise His holy name.
I finally listened and believed it was for me.
I am Cynthia K.
I am the one Jesus loves.
So now, I want to pray.
I want to pray for you.
Father God, what an humbling and wonderful experience.
I'm just so blessed to have met Becky and Jesse.
Have them learn of my story and invite me to share it.
Whoever you are, wherever you are, I pray that you feel our Lord's presence
with you every moment of every day.
You will be attacked by Satan and his demons.
You may know that already.
Don't believe those lies.
Rebuke them and say, Jesus, I surrender this to you.
Jesus, I surrender all to you.
Picture yourself sitting at his feet.
There is no sweeter place.
to be throughout your day, no matter what your day consists of.
I pray you have that vision of yourself sitting with Jesus, sitting at his
feet, maybe leaning your head on his knee with his beautiful nail scarred
hand, touching your head, loving on you.
If you are unsure about this message, I pray you will get a Bible, borrow
one, buy one, whatever you need to do, and start with the Gospel
of John in the New Testament.
Lord, guide them there to each of the beautiful accounts of what you did
while you walked the earth, and that even though you ascended into heaven
after your resurrection, you are still here, and they can talk to you.
Anytime, about anything, and then, please hear me, be still and know our Father God.
In Jesus name I pray.
Speaker 8: We hope you've been blessed by today's story.
In case you haven't noticed, there are no advertisements on this podcast,
and we hope to keep it that way.
So if you've heard something that you think could help someone you know, please
share it using the link in the show notes.
Also, if you will give Faith and Purpose a positive review on your podcast platform,
you could help more people find it.
You will probably never know how that small effort can make a big
difference in someone's life, but our Heavenly Father knows.
Speaking of sharing, if you know a Jesus follower with a story to tell, please send
them a link to Faith and Purpose Podcast.
It may encourage them to tell their story.
That person may even be you.
Our only criteria is that Jesus be glorified.
Most Christians don't share their faith because they mistakenly think
their story is not interesting enough, or that it's self centered to talk
about themselves, or that they are not competent to explain the gospel correctly.
But none of that is relevant.
If Jesus has changed your life, you have a story to tell.
All of our stories are completely unique.
No one has a story like yours, and you may be the only one who can reach someone
else through telling your experience.
So don't be intimidated.
A story is just that, a true account of your own experience, and no one
can disagree with your experience.
When we tell what Jesus has done in our lives, we are being obedient to his
command to go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.
It's not about theology, and it's not about how interesting or special you are.
It's all about Jesus.
So when you're ready to tell how Jesus has impacted your life, you can let Jesse
know at his ministry website, jesseduke.
net.
There you can download guidelines that will make it easy to
prepare to tell your story.
Thank you for listening today and Shalom.