[MUSIC]
>> And welcome to the 447th consecutive week of Cinema Psyops.
I'm your host, Cort.
The guy who is not at all really, really regretting the purchase of the
AlAdams and box that in any way, shape or form, and joining me in my co-shared
denial is my co-dependent co-host, Matt.
>> That's what you told me.
You felt like this was the worst mistake you ever made in your entire life.
And that's saying something.
[MUSIC]
That doesn't even compare to the story about the hooker with Dissentary.
>> Yeah, man, that was the sixth time you got crabs.
So anyway.
>> Only the sixth.
>> You know, the nice thing about doing this episode means that I can now
delete two more of those entries out of the folder making room for next
years of films, which we should hopefully enjoy a lot more.
>> Yay!
>> I mean, I doubt it, but we'll see.
>> I mean, you never know.
>> It's a possibility, but yeah.
So at least your film had a plot line in the story and the idea of it,
whatever you want to consider it, you know, there was at least something that was
there to follow.
Having said that, it was very much obviously a low-budget Western.
Certainly, again, not the worst Western I've ever seen.
>> But yeah, I thought it was pretty good Western.
Yeah, I won't bury the lead on that.
It was a good go.
>> Yeah, it's certainly not the worst that I've ever seen.
We're talking about five bloody graves, which pretty much gives away the plot
of the film, if you will.
>> Yeah.
>> No real surprises there whenever it's telling you there are going to be five
bloody graves.
And we don't have that many characters on screen in a given time.
>> Right.
>> Well, we'll get there when we absolutely do get there with this film.
But yeah, so far, we've had two movies in a row that were kind of serious
letdowns.
The Dracula one I still had fun with, even though I'm thinking about it later on.
I'm like, yeah, none of these have really been that great.
And I don't think I will be rewatching any of these just yet.
>> Right.
>> Yeah, I have no need.
But I mean, listen, if you're looking for not half bad Western,
I mean, especially like one that's not one of the mainstream big Westerns.
This ain't a bad option.
>> Wow, okay.
Well, you're going to have to defend it for because I was a little bit bored
during it.
So, I'm kind of interested in that.
>> Well, I lay I said, it also, you have to like Westerns.
>> That's fair.
There are a few Westerns that will transcend whether or not I like a Western.
>> Yeah.
There are some Westerns out there that even if somebody's like, I'm not a traditional
fan of Westerns can still enjoy a lot of those being like Tombstone.
Oh, God, nice.
>> Yeah, yeah.
I'm forgetting the moment when Eastwood.
>> High plane strifter?
>> No.
There's a bit a lot with Clint Eastwood.
>> Oh, I'm forgetting.
>> And you were once, he was in with Morgan Freeman.
And when I'd say nowhere, I meet 90s.
>> I'm forgetting.
>> Yeah.
So what I'm saying, I'm forgiven Tombstone.
These are movies that transcend their own Western origins.
And just because it contains such great actors of that time.
They kind of people can get into them who are normally going to watch a Western.
If you are normally into Westerns, this ain't half bad for you.
How about that?
>> The other thing, too, is I'm more into the late '60s, early '70s post Spaghetti Western,
like thriving Spaghetti Western style of Western.
It's a little more gritty.
And shows you just how horrible life would be in that circumstance of the West.
>> Out in the West.
>> Yeah, out in the West.
And then also in the desert areas and things like that.
And this one definitely does fit into that mold.
>> Yeah.
>> I don't like how the West was one Tom Mix early kind of Westerns.
You know, that are just, you know, and it's not just because they're dated and all of that.
It's just that they don't interest me because when I'm watching them, they ring false.
The Cowboys are not really the heroes in this.
Whereas at least this film shows that everybody's just out there trying to survive and murder everybody else.
>> Yes, this film is definitely not.
There aren't, well, I mean, there are a couple actual bad dudes out there.
But even the two main characters who are fighting one another,
and kind of going through everything through this movie, you'll see both have their own point of views for this.
>> Yeah, absolutely.
There are reasons that are driving each of the people forward in their more complex characters.
And I would argue during this that Al Adamson is not the director to hold that sort of thing together.
And I would like to see how it holds together for you for that.
>> Yeah, but I'm why another I'm quite amazed about is it's rather progressive with its depiction of Indigenous people.
>> And what they were going through and why they had to resort to things they had to resort to.
>> All the while having people in red face.
>> Yeah, yeah, unfortunately that was not as progressive at the time.
But I mean, again, we're dealing with a movie made win.
>> 1970, yeah, is when it was released.
>> Yeah.
>> Well, instead of being around the bush about this, well, let's just get into it.
>> Yeah, let's just actually talk about it.
Five Blood of Graves 1970. So for the pirate radio edit for this week, mostly just for Matt's appreciation.
And just to basically show I'm really grateful for Matt for bringing in the work even though he himself is sick for these two episodes of recording.
I've chosen all 1969 or 1970 songs from Johnny Cash on the pirate radio edit.
>> Hell yeah.
>> Up first is Flesh and Blood from Johnny Cash.
>> Right after this.
>> This will keep you quiet. Oh, hi there. I didn't see you.
You call me cutting a new show.
I'm Bo Randstell and I'm one of the many creators you can find on Legion podcasts.
>> I said quiet!
>> My fellow podcasters and I work hard to bring you the best in horror podcasting.
But that comes at a cost.
>> What's that like to live deliciously?
>> Not that, but also, yes.
>> No, what I'm getting at is that there are server costs, costs for good microphones and software for editing.
All the things that make our shows, you know, fun to listen to. And you can help.
If you're enjoying the shows on Legionpodcasts.com or in the Legion Network available on iTunes and Stitcher,
just about anywhere you can download a podcast, really, you can help us out and get a little something for your trouble at patreon.com/legionpodcasts
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And for $5, you can also join us for a monthly screening of a movie.
All of that available on patreon.com/legionpodcasts
We appreciate it and thank you for listening.
Now, back to the cutting room.
[Music]
Oh, man, I fit the whole romance angle that they try to squeeze into this film pretty well. And also it fits with the guy that's mourning his wife way past its fucking expiration date in this too.
So I think it kind of will fit.
I don't think there's any expiration date for mourning your wife if you'll ever.
Well, I guess that's fair. Why don't you explain everybody what's actually happening in the movie?
Five, five, bloody graves, the first 20. We open with a couple in bed. Apparently they haven't seen each other since the war.
They keep talking about the war, so we're just going to go ahead and assume they made the civil war for what time this was.
Sure, why not?
She's like asking if he's all right and if he's in love with her and all that and he's just kind of silent and she's like,
is it because of your wife and he goes, you know, he's not really answering her and she's like, you know, you have to live the world's for the living all this and why is your wife better than me, all that kind of stuff.
So you're assuming this wife's dead and she's like, she wasn't all that pure. She was like me and he unfortunately slapped her and then leaves.
And that is when we get our opening intro to the movie.
After the intro gets done, we are introduced to a narrator and that is our first clip.
Ben Thompson, peace officer, who remains alive only because of his deadliness, rides on the trail of a yaki chief called Satago and his heart filled with hate.
As I ride beside him, as I do with all men on my pale horse, I'm Ben Thompson's close friend, death, the physician who cures all pain.
For the next five bloody days I ride with my mortal messenger, Ben Thompson, collecting the debt, all men must pay.
Yaki chief Satago slaughters the white man and woman in the name of justice for his people.
The white man has killed his game, driven his tribe from their hunting ground and broken every treaty.
Where Satago goes I for he too is my messenger and death is his way of life.
Can we cut to some writing, writing and shooting and kind of defending against the attackers and it leads to our next clip?
Go Lightfoot. I've heard of you. Here I think I owe you something.
No, some information. I come Indians are chasing Indians.
My half brother Satago. He's a big yaki chief now and he's trying to run all the white men out of the territory.
You got guns too. A lot of them. Where'd he get them? Gun owners.
Who that's neighborly? What's he after you for? That is qual you run away with?
That's my qual. He wants her. If we don't get out of the territory soon, he's going to kill both of us.
Well then maybe you better get. Happy hunting.
The five bloody days have their beginning. The hatred between Ben Thompson and Satago creates a holocaust of violence
during which these two messengers of mine each seeks revenge.
In this grave lies Ben Thompson's bride Mary delivered to me by an arrow from the bow of Satago on her wedding Mary.
Weep not for her. She's found peace. No yesterdays to regret. No today to endure. No tomorrows to fear.
When sweet Mary Thompson died, all of the love within the heart of Ben Thompson was buried with her.
Well he's Mary's husband forever. Even I, death cannot part this man and this woman.
Okay. Hey man, that's love. It's okay to find someone else to live the rest of your life with an attempt to be happy after you lose the one that you thought you should always be with.
That is also true. It is fine. That's why we always say till death, do you, do you part?
I'm just saying it's okay to not do it either.
Oh, I would say till death or legally speaking, you have any right to do you part.
Yeah. Wow. I mean, I'm just saying. Yeah. When it comes to declaring your love, you're supposed to say until death, do you part?
Because no one actually wants to admit that, you know, over 50% are going to end a divorce anyway.
Yeah. Damn. At least we're happy.
Anyway, then we cut to a lady. She shoots a deer with one of the men who is trying to clean the land of the colonizers, if you will.
A taxor, Ben shows up and they fight and Ben kills the man. The lady checks on Ben and then is our next clip.
Ben? Yeah. You alright?
Yeah. Oh, looks bad. You think you can stop the bleeding?
Yeah, I gotta clean it first. How's your neck?
I don't see.
Did you get me my canteen and my gun belt? Yeah. I'm gonna use your scarf.
Put some whiskey on it. The arrow here, let me... Still things. Thank you. Thank you for everything. Here. Let me help you.
Yeah. It's poor it ain't worth Santa. What the hell are you doing out here alone?
Alone? Dave's in two songs. He'll be back tomorrow.
Dave? Dave Miller?
I guess you hadn't heard. I'm married, Dave, just after you left for the war.
Why didn't I hear from you, Ben?
You know why.
I thought I meant something to you. Look, I told you in the beginning it wouldn't work.
Mary? She's dead, Ben.
You know why I ought to be in that grave? Or a killer?
Mary would want you to feel that way. She'd want you to live. Not just exist.
Remember, Ben. Benjins is mine. Say it's the Lord.
Yeah. No use trying to talk any sense into you once you've got your mind made up.
That's right. You know, this country's crawling with small bands of renegative patches.
Mexicans call them Yankees. What kind of a patchy? Not a scuffle white man and chase a squaw.
I hope Dave makes it. He'll make it.
I'll have better stay with you when he gets back.
Are you asleep?
Yep.
Would you like your coffee for it on your foot?
No, ma'am.
Did you sleep all right?
Yeah. That's the fella can with one high open.
Do you hear anything?
Oh, it's quiet. It's quiet.
It's Dave.
Hello, Dave.
Well, hello, Thompson.
It brings you around these parts just passing through.
Two Yankees tried to take me home for a play thing. Ben here happened by just in time.
One cut his leg. And look what they did to my neck.
So you came by here to celebrate the big event?
Well, the whole day. I came by to warn you.
The whole countryside is being torn up by renegative patches.
You're lucky you made it back from town.
I'm on my way to Tombstone. I think you and Nora better travel with me.
I've been living here for five years, Ben.
They never had no trouble with Indians.
Size I got my traps to tend to.
Dave, don't you believe us?
These aren't just Indians. They're Yankees.
Well, if you go in, then just because I don't want you or Kai hanging around here,
are my woman.
Don't pay him any mind, Ben. His feelings are hurt.
So are mine. You wanted to rest that coffee?
Thanks. Believe me, Nora.
I've seen Indians sign for the last three days.
A few days.
Better get to town. Call the army, conchation back to front of the border.
It looks like a storm coming up.
Better get moving.
Why don't you wait a little longer then?
When will I see you again?
Well, who knows. Maybe Tucson someday.
Yeah, maybe.
And if I come back through this area, I expect to see a lot of young people running around.
But until today, he owes me a cup of coffee.
Okay, I'll do that.
By now.
Dave, you're so stubborn. Why don't you believe me?
Ben saved my life. That's the only thing that happened.
I'm sick and tired of hearing about you and Ben Thompson.
Where are you going?
I'm going up to Twin Freaks and check my traps.
What day?
All right. And that is the end of the opening 20 minutes.
Yeah, so this Ben guy is supposed to be the most eligible bachelor since his wife was killed by the native people
who are trying to remove all of the people that are causing their deaths that are in their lands.
And he is apparently the deadliest, too, so.
Right. And so he's this deadly badass, super sexy, eligible bachelor that's just breaking hearts all along the trail
and just wrecking marriages by showing up and saving a lady from being brutally raped.
Pretty much, yeah. There you go. You've got the story down.
I'm dubious about this story being believable, man.
Well, of course, that believable, though Western is believable.
All right. So he's just this magical cock who also can't feel anything anymore because the woman that he did love died.
Yes, but he's totally okay with fucking a bunch of other women.
He just can't fall in love with anyone else because his wife died.
Yeah, you're exactly right.
So he wants to live like a monk emotionally, but also live like a cox myth physically.
I don't. Yeah. I mean, you're asking a lot of questions.
Are you going to get the same answers, Court?
All I'm saying is this is bullshit. This is like, okay, so he can...
Of course it is. It's male, but she was a bullshit, but that's like every fucking...
Oh, no, that's what Westerns are. They are a myth of what a man should be.
And this is that that stoic Gary Cooper type.
But the reason that he's a Gary Cooper type is the woman that he loved died saving him.
So therefore, he can't love anymore.
And if that's the case, then the dude should be living like a complete monk.
Yet he's fucking breaking hearts all over the place and clearly like allowing women to get close to him and feeling something for them.
But the minute that they acknowledge it and want to move on with the relationship a little bit further,
he immediately drops them like a hotcake.
And that doesn't make him a tragic hero that makes him a serial monogamous abuser.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, listen, you show me a Western with a well-adjusted male character.
And I'll show you not a Western.
You show me a Western that has a well-adjusted male lead character.
And I'll show you a drama that takes place in the West.
Yeah, exactly. You don't have a Western. You just have a...
You have a period piece at that point.
There's somebody out there right now screaming at their iPod going,
"Look, court Westerns are not supposed to be Anna Green Gables."
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, cort, you're being a little woke for the Western. Just say it.
You want people to acknowledge their emotional faults and try to grow as people in the old West?
That's not gonna happen.
They even tell you in this movie you can't have feelings as a man. It's you'll die.
Well, this is where our siop comes in and we basically say how this is fucking bullshit,
but this is how Westerns work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, pretty much.
That's a good place to frame the next 20.
All right. Let's see here.
All right, next 20 starts.
That couple is now attacked, but they fight them off.
And they're able to fight some off.
And when they rejoined together at their house,
the more attack in that Nora is killed by an arrow in the back.
And the house is set on fire.
And then Dave, well, he's trying to fight everyone off. It's also killed.
So because he just got so fucking pissy, that's why they're dead.
You know, they could be alive, but they're not.
Because he's not the legendary coxmith that is our main character.
That's why he is.
Listen to the legendary coxmith.
It's our main character.
They be a tombstone by now.
Well, we don't get five bloody graves by having everybody.
The character that is this major coxmith come across survived.
Now, do we?
That's that's actually very true.
So, um, so then, uh, uh, oh, we get back to death narrating in our next clip.
Gunrunners are my messages also.
The arms they sell to the yaki are instruments of preordained death.
Each man has his appointed day, armed with you and all men constantly.
We got rifles.
You got gold for rifles and forks.
Two days.
What do you make them signs for clay?
They because they like us.
I can tell you that.
You just give us two days to get out of the territory.
Two days in what?
Suffer.
Suffer for ants.
Up one way.
Ants for supper.
Oh, no.
Oh, shut your mouth.
You mean we're the supper?
That's right.
We're the supper.
Horace.
Well, we see the guy who Ben was talking to earlier who's trying to escape his brother.
Uh, he's, uh, he's sitting there and he's injured at his horse.
So he falls down and Ben finds him and that leads to our next clip.
What happened?
Ambush.
Two of them jumped me.
They're still there.
You get your straw.
She's safe back in camp.
Went out for some food and got the buck.
Do yaki's got me.
Better pick you up.
Get you back to your woman.
I don't think this territory is any too friendly.
Take a bite.
All right.
So he pulls the arrow out of him and they settle up and right off.
And we see, uh, that guy's, uh, the little fawn, I guess her name was, uh, she is now tied to state to the ground.
Uh, we see the chief is watching from like a hillside.
So she was unfortunately caught.
Uh, the chief likes to stake them to the ground so that they have to, you know, they died by ants.
So they die slowly.
Um, so, you know, not a great dude.
Um, uh, the two gun runners find her and they walk up to her and the main kind of drunken one.
Uh, the, the leader of the two, he goes, he goes back and, uh, he goes up to her and he rapes her.
Uh, so fuck you movie.
Uh, that wasn't cool.
Uh, yeah, it's just fucking disgusting.
Yeah.
And then, uh, when the other one's going to go for his turn, the main guy shoots her, uh, and kills her.
And they take her necklace as a trophy and then they leave.
Uh, Ben in the dude or husband finds her and this leaves to death again in our next flip.
So little fawn came to me and the manner of her dying has given me another earthly disciple.
As Joe Lightfoot carries the clay of his love to her final rest.
His troubled mind is filled with despair, vengeance and dedication to me.
Uh, then we cut to the, uh, the, the chief's group is attacking some other folks and they're old to hold them off, which leads to our next clip.
Well, it looks like it let up for a while.
There'll be too many of them giving on top of us over an hour though.
Jim, I'm focused.
Oh, shut your yet.
That's the way that's the way to talk.
When he kind of talks, he understands.
Quick, that's different. Will you hang up any over that wagon for a target?
I will, too. I'll try.
Well, you damn well better.
Well, I know he's tried your room with him for a much better pair.
Oh, he's right, Levina.
Try and put yourself together.
Do you know what Indians do to wipe women?
Well, now that kind of thing can just ain't gonna help.
They can't help this.
I'm scared.
Thank you.
Thank you, my sir, mate.
May the good Lord reward your kindness.
I'll see, I ain't no maiden.
You're welcome, Mr. Hawkins.
Don't you trouble your pretty head about Kelly, daughter.
Retribution shall be hers from the mighty hands on high.
Oh, I guess I'm used to it now.
Oh, you don't ever need to get used to the ways of the devil.
It's never too late to wash yourself clean.
I don't feel dirty, Mr. Hawkins.
Please, your sins, then ask forgiveness from the Almighty.
Then only then can you find true happiness.
I'm happy enough.
The help of the Lord, everything can change in the future.
No more talks, only sunshine.
He doesn't handle the weather that way.
Thanks for trying.
If you want to pray for something, pray for help.
Thanks.
And always the preacher, where are you, boo?
Yes, your pal.
Look, stop there.
A couple of riders coming as fast.
The world has answered my request.
One should be careful for what one prays.
Who, Hawkins, did not pray for forgiveness?
He prayed for help.
And Ben Thompson, my angel of death, will bring to these troubled people
not the burden of continued life,
but the promise of everlasting peace.
One dead yet.
I'll be damned.
Ben Thompson.
My shootin', Jim.
Stack my deck, Ben Thompson.
They do not hear, Jim.
Having a party?
Some party.
Had a made a mistake, Ben.
Run me out of Tucson.
One with the ladies here.
At this fall, we've got to hit by these yakis.
Lost our horses.
How about you?
You'll track in that same fella.
Let's write, Jim.
What's up, Joe and the trail?
Yeah, I heard about the heavyweight.
The plan to make him a permanent partner?
Nothing permanent with me except death.
I've got the bloomers.
I want to talk to you.
Quit makin' eyes at my man.
You know, I don't know what to say away from him.
You understand?
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
It's a brown hair, silly.
You little wild cat that they'll see it.
Works for Kansas Kelly.
Blind with me.
I'll take care of that wound, Joe.
Back in a minute.
Here, kid.
I think you're gonna need these.
Oh, Kansas.
Hello, Ben.
Glad to see you.
How do you like the war?
People get out of here still wearing our hair.
Oh, but it doesn't get too hot.
Lost a lot of bows to her.
Not you, Kansas.
See you later.
Drop by, I'll buy you a drink.
Name's the wound?
You better.
What are you doing there?
Nearly answering the great call of nature.
Oh, more?
No less.
I return to the wagon now.
Go ahead.
Maybe oughta changed closer to the wagon.
How long have you been watching me?
Not long enough.
Did you want me to knock?
Next time, please, Duke, Mr.
Thompson.
Ben Thompson.
Oh, of course.
I should have recognized you by your splendid attire.
And now.
I'm sure my manners didn't start that fight.
I wouldn't worry about it, Miss.
All the gals fight over Jim.
So that's a pretty dress.
Did you make it yourself?
You know, very well.
This is the dress I work in.
Are you really interested in clothes, Mr. Thompson?
Name's Ben.
Right now I am.
I must say, by the looks of your outfit, you must have an excellent table.
Clothes are kind of like a gun, ma'am.
You only change them when they're worn out.
God damn.
So long that you know he was up there.
Be quiet.
Be very quiet.
What does it mean, Ben?
You think we're trapped?
Maybe we are.
So, later that night, the men are all keeping watch.
The blonde has a nightmare.
And her man then, you know, starts beating her because, you know, she had a nightmare.
And the older lady backs him out with a bottle.
And this leads to our next clip.
I hope you didn't hurt him.
Can't stand to see a man more than a cow.
Jim, Jim, oh Jim, oh right.
Sure is all right.
I've been cracking ghosts for years.
Finish your love making in the morning, honey.
Night, Jim.
Pleasant drink.
Animals.
That was awful, Ben.
Jim, Olivia.
Jim's been doing that for years.
Most women like it.
I think a woman is a possession like a horse.
Like your friend over there.
Who said Jim was my friend?
Besides, he won Olivia in a poker game.
Have you ever been in love?
Once.
She's dead.
And that was enough.
Uh-huh.
You?
You got the gold fever.
Love me.
What happened to you?
She got shot.
Yeah.
Later on, Ben and the other dude who lost his wife, they decide they're done waiting and they're going to go leave the camp and see if they can't find where the other guys are all located.
Just so they can try to, you know, take them out before they can take them out.
I think and it's probably not a bad idea.
They feel like they're trapped and they're probably outnumbered at this point.
So, you know, what are you going to do?
Yeah, their best bet is to do a surprise attack or find their camp and see how many of them they can take out while they're sleeping or something.
Yeah, their best bet is to go on offense.
Yeah.
That's the best bet.
So, uh, they, uh, they find the enemy camp.
They kill a few of the guys and they run a couple of their horses off, but more of them can escape.
But they should have moved enough of them around so they they can actually move out safely.
Then the gunwriters see the group moving and they want the women because, you know, they're rapists, pieces of shit.
So, they join them and that is our next clip.
You lost?
Not always.
Yeah, not always.
Where you headed?
Tombstone?
Yeah, tombstone.
You shut up.
Yeah, shut up.
I'm sorry, Clay.
First name is Clay with the last baits.
Clay baits.
Wigging.
Horus Wigging.
Oh, what happened to your wing?
A betta.
Why did you do that for us?
Because he was hungry stupid.
We need your horses, but he's women.
Water's low and the walk is long.
I don't give a wild horse to no man or woman.
I'd be glad to.
Oh, stupid, I don't want to.
Then we get some more writing.
This is kind of where our movie does a lot of it's, uh, for lack of a better word.
A lot of it's, uh, padding is just writing these trails a lot.
Yeah.
A lot of watching people ride around on trails.
Yep, that's, that's, that's, that's about it.
Very true.
Uh, so here's a cool brain.
All right.
So then they, uh, get to some water, like a water source, a little creek running,
and that becomes our next clip.
Let the horse, what about my family, then?
What about it?
It's a hard hell.
I'm sure not for the first time.
Joe, uh, help somebody down.
Then we'll wait on the main trail.
Headed for old mining trail up the rock.
And maybe able to fool the actors and get through besides a little shorter.
For us for a while, I move out.
Well, I'm going down the river over the way, Joe.
Come on along, I'll pick you to bandage for you.
Let that nurse get tangled up in that bandage.
I'll be careful.
Boarding is ordered, doctor.
Under the circumstances, you'll welcome to my bathroom.
Can I hang it, too?
No.
Take off your shirt.
You're the doctor.
I'm a little stiff, though.
Still, I'll do it.
How long has it been known, Ben?
Five days.
I heard about him for years.
Well, why?
Strange man.
I don't think we should have a heart.
Can't afford to have one.
He's been dead long time ago.
Feeling good a man and a lot of folks.
You know, like...
Don't do no good to love a dead man.
Or woman.
You had a good life, Joe.
That's a matter.
You got to do, Ben.
Got a full signal for the Indian.
Come here.
It's been hours and one and a half.
I've got something I got a bit.
All right.
And that is the end of that 20 minutes.
We'll be going to the final 30.
Yeah. See, a lot of that 20 minutes was us watching them
riding around on trails and wondering what the fuck.
Yeah.
No, that's very fair.
There is some good, hefty padding in this.
Did you notice the guy who was the pimp guy that was beating the lady around
and then got bottled and was laid out for the night by the other hooker?
Do you notice him or recognize him from anything?
I did not.
Okay.
The movie "Gremlins" from the 80s, right?
Uh-huh.
The town sheriff, the main sheriff, is that pimp guy that was to pick up a bottle.
That's that same actor.
How about that?
Yeah.
There was some kind of grandiose pose that he did when he was like shooting back
at the Native American tribe that was trying to kill them all.
Yeah.
I did some kind of grandiose pose after they ran off again with, you know, his rifle skills or whatever
that I kind of recognized him, where he like, he smiled and stuff.
And it clicked where I knew him from, but it was bugging me from the first moment he was on screen
until that moment ended up happening.
And I just wanted to wait for that to talk about now to pat out the episode a little bit more for us.
Hi.
Yeah.
I was just waiting for, you know, just something to pop up to remind me of something else
with "Gremlins" with him.
And then he beat the hell out of that girl for waking him up because she had a nightmare.
And I immediately really started hating the guy because he did some awful stuff before that,
but not anything too awful Western-wise until he starts beating the lady just for having a nightmare.
Yeah.
That was a little shit.
Right.
The minute he gets bottled in the head, I'm cheering on the other hooker for doing it.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
You feel real good.
The older hooker is one of the better hookers.
She's very practical in her approach to how she's going to survive in the Old West.
And, yes.
I mean, of anything she feels like the most realistic character, not of everyone that's here.
Yeah, right.
So, hey, it's good stuff.
Yeah.
And I think you're right.
The, for a Western that was shot in the 70s, it definitely handles the balance between the
peoples and really doesn't point of fingers to who's right and who's wrong.
They're just talking about the atrocities that everybody's committed on every side.
And that's kind of how humanity works.
Like, people slaughtered people in this time because of these reasons.
They want land resources, all that stuff.
Right.
And everybody was fighting to try and survive on a ever dwindling set of resources.
And it's only gotten worse with time.
It's just that the people that are killing everyone else now are corporations.
Yeah.
Exactly.
We can move on with that for a minute for the next.
All right.
The final 30.
Well, the blonde, the girlfriend of the main pit guy.
She's bathing in the creek and the lead creep is fine on her.
And then she sees him.
And he's like, Hey, I got your clothes up here.
And she's like, come on.
I want you to even officer the necklace he took off of little fog.
Just the gym shows up and beats him up.
And then it monitors her because he blames her for some reason for it.
And then she is killed by an arrow in the back by some attackers.
Jim kills that guy.
As the others come to check on it.
Everyone.
The husband of little font sees that the guy has the necklace.
We cut to the funeral for the blonde lady.
And that is in our next clip.
The soul returned to its eternal home.
We ask you to forgive her sins.
We shall remember that in a way for her.
You hear?
Kind.
We ask you to give strength to Jim Ways.
This time of his personal law.
Lord, give it to Lord, take it away.
Passes to rashes.
Talk to guns.
I wonder how Jim really feels.
Overliving.
Cool again.
Better move out.
Been along right ahead.
Yeah, we got along right ahead.
So then we get back out into the road.
Of course, more walking now.
And then Jim and Ben, they decide they're going to go ahead and
check out the trails in front of everyone and let everyone just kind of rest for a moment.
Well, that leads to the two creeps talking.
And that is our next clip.
Wait, what you got to drink so much for?
I'm your dad, but not so much I drink.
Of course.
Don't call me Horace.
All right, Horace, please.
Don't you get all my nerves?
I didn't mean to make you mad, Clay.
I was just thinking that maybe we could make a deal with some of Mr. Morgan.
I am right.
Or maybe we could take their guns to the toggle and maybe just save our skins.
Yeah.
And maybe that's just the best idea you ever had.
Ben and Jim have been gone over an hour.
There hasn't been a sound up there.
It's not really worth.
Probably killed each other.
That's not fun.
It was in rent, please.
They've been sizing each other up for years, like a couple of male cougars on the hunt.
Well, if anything happens to them, we don't have a player.
I'd rub me all over with barriers.
Go out there and find me.
I have some yucky buck.
Oh, Kelly.
Better than being dead, ain't.
Not to me.
Relax, I'll see you.
How about a snort?
How long have you known, Ben?
Ben?
I need no one really knows, Ben Thompson.
We got drunk together one night and two sun.
Even when he's drunk, he don't talk much.
Best I could make out.
His bride, Carter Bullet, was meant for him.
Come on.
Have a drink.
Forget about him.
Come on, thanks.
Well, don't, if you don't mind.
If you do, you know I'll have one anyway.
Would you like a little drink, Boo?
I don't need balls cutting.
Oh, shit.
Oh, Lord.
Nice happens, future treasure hard, Rogue.
Oh, all right.
All right.
So the one, the main creep who has a pretty heavy drinking problem,
he passes out and his buddy tries to wake him up by beating him.
And he keeps slapping him to the point where everyone thinks he's just going to kill him.
And before anything else happens, the little fawns,
little fawn's husband shows up and kicks him in the face.
And then he stands over the guy kind of staring at him, knowing he knows that
this guy's the reason little farm was dead or at least was there.
But then the guy who's got kick to the face, he takes one of the women hostage
in this leads to our next clip.
Drop a gun.
Drop it.
Watch it, girl.
I can't allow this.
Put your mouth, creature.
You're putting all our lives in extreme danger, Mr. Wiggins.
If nothing else, think of yourself.
Shut up, creature man.
You're going to pull it between your teeth.
One of us, or all of us, is about to die.
Surely we can take time to speak with our maker.
But shut up.
Such a smart innu clay.
Well, I'm smarter than you.
I'm smarter than anybody here.
I'm going to take them right.
Well, I'm going to the toggle.
Save my skin.
Well, God showed up the road that he gave his only begotten son
to the end that all the believe on him should not perish,
but have everlasting life.
Clay!
You!
He's going to kill my wife.
Well, you sure made a believer out of him, boom.
My boom.
Hawkins.
You're here downright amazing.
You're right.
I wasn't always a preacher.
Why does he run?
Each man at his moment of dying hopes for just a little more time
to write the wrongs he has done.
But time is of no importance to me.
When a man's day arrives, I take him.
What he's done before is done without hope for change.
I do have to say here that John Caradine is definitely
being put in this movie to be the carny trick to make you
forgive a bunch of things about it.
Yeah.
Probably wouldn't.
Like the excessive amount of trail riding and things like that
in every western that boars even the biggest western fan.
Yeah, no, you're not wrong.
But the John Caradine stuff really just kind of steals the show on this film.
And that would make it rewatchable, especially that sequence where he takes the guy down
by basically doing what Quentin Tarantino would steal later on for various
speeches in his entirety where somebody says something like bad ass right
before they're supposed to cap a motherfucker that's from the Bible.
That's basically what John Caradine does here.
But he's basically saying I'm trying to save your soul before I doom your existence, son.
Yeah, right.
Good shit too.
Yeah.
That was entertaining.
And I have to fully admit that I now know in retrospect that that was a carny trick
that worked on me.
Yeah.
No, yeah.
Yeah.
And I didn't realize how much of a carny trick it was.
So you just said, but yeah, it definitely worked.
Yeah.
Well, we can move on.
I just wanted to mention that.
Well, he knocks out the lead creep guy and stakes him to the ground.
It pretty much tells him, hey, I know you killed my wife.
You're about to die by fire and have a have a fabulous fucking day.
You prick.
And just then he is shot by the, you know, opposing the the the chief is brother.
He's shot by him in the stomach.
Well, he's able to crawl over and he kills lead creeps.
So they make sure that's done.
And then he's surrounded by other guys.
And he is shot with an arrow twice.
And that is it.
He then is dead.
The rest of the group knows that they need to get the hell out of there.
So they leave.
They are attacked again this time.
It's kind of like the final attacks, the final push.
And this attack, the preacher in the older lady of the night, if you will.
She is.
They're both killed in this.
Then Jim is shot the back and killed after he kills to attack attackers.
And this leads to our next clip.
Quick, follow me.
I should have known better.
I'm a guy that never kept his back to the door.
Take it easy, Jim.
I don't want to be with you.
No, I always thought I'd get in some, some gambling hall or some, some bedroom.
But for here I am.
I'll put some goat trail.
Life's full of funny switchbacks in it.
And it's funny.
It's really, it's really a laugh.
Maybe a brother.
He better stay towards.
If you want to need a better, listen.
If you're dumb enough to waste time buried me, I promise you I'll come back and watch it.
Right away others die while Ben Thompson who seeks death is denied me because his services as my earthly messenger.
And not yet and finally accomplished.
All right, so that's the two left resting grieve a little bit and attackers shows up and to shoot at Ben.
But the lady takes the bullet for him and kills the guy and this leads to him comforting her in our next clip.
Yeah, no.
Yeah.
Have you been up there?
That would make you weak.
We'll make it together.
Together we'll make it.
That does not what makes him strong.
Not feeling things does not make you stronger.
It just makes you numb.
You're in the wrong movie, man.
This is, this is the way it is.
Super bullshit is going to kill men and we need to stop that style of thinking for sure.
Oh, yeah.
Well, the two last men fight then because now it's just down to the cheap and then and death narrates it in our next clip.
Here in this vast silent valley in a setting which might well be the end or the beginning of the world.
These two men, each of whom is certain of the justice and honor for which he does battle.
Meet in a final confrontation.
One of them will come to me. The other will ride on seeking me for in violence between men or nations.
There can be but one victor.
That is death.
Oh, a message.
Yeah.
Well, Ben wins the fight and the guy kills the guy.
He makes graves for the others as death narrates in our final clip.
And Thompson served me well as he rides away from this bloody valley.
His friends and his enemies have found their ultimate destiny.
I ride beside him on my pale horse for I am death.
And if I didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent me.
For only I can cure the pain of living.
Only I can show each living thing that dying is nothing more than ceasing to be afraid.
Jesus Christ was death dialogue written by Lydia Dietz.
I guess, but roll credits.
Yeah, as far as westerns go, I've definitely seen worse, but I am admittedly not a huge western fan, but I do like a more gritty dark twisted sort of western.
And there was definitely a lot of that in here.
I like the balance of the story where death is telling us literally when two people go to war for their ideal justice and causes.
All they end up doing is serving death. That was an interesting way of going about trying to do that storytelling.
I thought that was kind of cool.
There's a lot more to like about this than dislike, but I don't think I'm if we're going to want to watch this again.
Yeah, I don't know if I'm watching again, but Leah said it was a pleasant surprise for what was going on for the rest of the series we've done so far.
It made a great episode. It made great dialogue for us to discuss the film.
It made a couple of really good moments where we could have teaching moments to let people know that that Gary Cooper style of thinking about the strong silent type for men has always been bullshit and will always be bullshit and is toxic and will get you killed or get everyone around you killed like what happened to our friend Ben here who thought he was such a fucking badass stoic piece of shit.
Well, they all think they're bad ass stoic pieces of shit.
Right, because they can't feel anything because of they feel anything than they can't be men.
Yeah, well, you don't even have all the other guys show felt something and they all died.
This movie did that do a good job of unreforeseen that because the one guy who didn't share one feeling at all throughout the whole time kept cool the whole time like no anger, no nothing.
He's what it was where anybody any other guy, any other person who showed even a monochrome of emotion all all died.
Meanwhile, Ben is slowly dying inside for a mental fucking cancer, and which is basically causing all of the death that is around him as well.
Yeah, he's I'm a tumor. I'm a tumor. I'm a tumor. I'm a tumor. Oh, I'm a tumor.
It's just misery, man. Just violence and fucking misery is what this guy lives out. And that's really what you want in a Western. That is your idea of Western hero. So yay.
That's what you're looking for.
Yeah, I'm not looking for happy endings in my Western. Yeah, if you're looking for a happy ending, you clearly aren't watching a Western.
You're watching a drama that takes place in the West. Exactly. Yeah.
Yeah, like I said, it's backs. Yeah, it's not the worst Western I've ever seen. But again, I've definitely seen better.
And I would probably want to watch something, you know, else beside this, if I'm in the mood for a Western preferably, you know, let's be getting Western from like the late 70s or so or mid 70s.
You know, something along those lines. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, why don't we just pat out the episode with your story time when we just get whatever episode length we get.
All right, let's do it. All right. So we're going to take a little break here. And for the pirate radio edit, we're going to have the man in black from Johnny Cash.
And we'll come back. We'll have Matt's story.
[Music]
I'm not so sure I like the message behind the man in black they're talking about and people needing to hear Jesus' message. I'm not so sure I like that anymore.
Yeah, I don't know if you ever did, but I get his messaging just because he was a pretty big dude of God type guy.
Yeah, well, hopefully we can find a way to tie something about the man in black and your story time.
Story time. Story time. I'm trying to take care of a story time. I'm a spring. Yeah. I do a story about my mucus break.
So I was in college at the time and I got really sick and it was my freshman year college. I'm away, you know, three hours away from home.
You know, and I was just trying to do anything I could to think of to help with my cold. In the end what it turned out was I had tonsilitis.
And I needed like a lot of harder core medication that I was willing that I would to go get. Let's do it here and over there.
Anyway, one day in full-ass, just horrific brain problems there. I had, as you can tell, I'm doing it right now.
We had a big group project where we had to do a presentation, right. And I was one of the hinges of being able to do the group presentation because I have a gift gap and I use that very well.
So and just about everybody else in my class that was, you know, just did not speak very clearly or very well.
So I can't wait to do the presentation with the speech park because nobody else wanted to do it so he didn't have to do much other work.
Yes, that's that was pretty much it. That was my deal is you guys, I'll do all the talking just, you know, and I was, I did some of the work too because I needed to do a little bit of something.
And but they took on the bulk of the research and everything else presentation. I have mucus brain big worse than now.
I couldn't string together two things and now remember I have to know this stuff anyway because if there's a Q&A afterwards and I have to like defend our position on this certain thing.
And I'm like, I'm going to die. This is it. None of this is going to go well for me and we're going to fail. And it was the next day. Well, I had a night sleep and I went to bed at 5 p.m.
I woke up. It was a new class. I woke up at 11.30. I had to get dressed and run to the class. I can't think of shit. I couldn't remember shit.
I bullshit in my way that the arguments I gave were not arguments we had practiced. So all my classrooms were like, what the fuck? I winged it just about every second of it through a soggy ass brain.
Through the point where this is I know I could bullshit. Where my ability to bullshit. Really I learned it was really good throughout all of it at the very end where I think I'm going to get told we all need to talk what was that even about.
My professor looks at me goes, well, that was really good. You guys did really good. Matt knows a really good arguments he made. I can see this team really work cohesively. I have no idea how I got out of that two days later I was in the hospital for three days.
You know what I'm picturing this whole story that you're telling me that is Frank the tank pulling his shit together in old school. And he gives that whole huge debate where it was like this perfect argument that even James Carvelle has nothing against.
And he's like, what just happened? I just blacked out for a moment. What just happened. It was kind of like that.
There are a few moments in our life where we are given the grace of such greatness where things can happen where it falls together and you sort of see just how well you can bullshit your way through life.
If you are that good of a liar and a con man and I am Matt Syop saw an opportunity and went for it and we understand is I am I can't be a cogn man if I want to be.
You do okay until you come up until you come up against somebody like me and I'm calling you on your bullshit.
It's true. Thank God you were my professor else. I could have gone poorly.
Right. Is there already follow up questions the shit I stated I we would have been done.
Someone that knows facts and or can rapidly check facts are the type of person that is Matt's worst nightmare for a presentation.
Yeah. Yeah. And you're not wrong.
Although there were a few of the people there who you know because you were actually it was a weird fucking thing because you were literally as other as other students not a part of the group.
Trying to get this you tried to get all the other groups to fail which I thought was a really weird fucking thing to do as a professor but whatever.
So they would have to be pretty hard but I still was able to bullshit my way out of most of it like you got bonus points for disproving some other people's points like you were able to steal
You stole points from them. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a peer reviewed kind of thing where you're just basically vying for the ultimate position on finding out what your research actually brings or what have you.
And you think we'd all try to be like super cool with one another and say hey everyone just be cool. We can all walk out of here with the hundred but not everyone wanted their own piece of the pie I guess.
But I've seen battle royale. I know that's not how kids end up operating at all.
And everybody else out there that's seen the Hunger Games and not battle royale. That's pretty much the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So not good. That all royale.
Brother. Let's just go ahead and cut it off here. That's going to eventually edit together to over an hour. We hope so I guess.
Yeah. Right now we're going to play the show housekeeping and immediately after that on the pirate radio edit we're going to have Johnny Cash singing duet with June Carter.
If I were a carpenter right after this. If you've decided you can't get enough of the show and would like to check out more of it.
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[Music]
Well hopefully everyone out there has been enjoying the June Carter and Johnny Cash music that preceded this discussion because well we're here.
This is the end of the episode we've all made it everyone. We're definitely ready to kick the fuck out of this week and make it our bitch while we enjoy Johnny Cash singing Sunday Morning Coming Down.
Goddamn that hits hard, don't it? Yeah, yeah, thematically that fits for a Western and good Lord we've all been there.
Yeah, good shit. All right, well let's go ahead and end this for everyone.
Yeah, recording stopped.