Barb Patterson (01:11)
Hi, welcome everybody, it's Barb.

Aila (01:14)
And Isla.

Barb Patterson (01:16)
We are so glad you're here. Today we're going to talk about, we know you love coaching, but do you love being a business owner as much as you love coaching? We're going to talk about what we've learned about embracing the business of coaching. And we don't mean just client creation, but as a solopreneur, an entrepreneur, as somebody that does freelance, like you.

are creating a business. So we're going to talk about some of the things that have been helpful to us along the way.

Aila (01:52)
Yes, this is probably one of my favorite things to talk about. So I think it's actually a, it was a huge blind spot for me. And I feel like it's a big blind spot for a lot of helpers, healers, coaches, practitioners, that they're, these are actually doing the work of coaching and running a business that provides it. I'll just be specific in that way. They're two very different skill sets.

And I feel like it ⁓ was an epiphany to me. It was like, ⁓ there's this whole other ⁓ way of operating that if I got familiar with it and understood it more, I could do better at it.

And about 20 years ago or so I started a pet care company and I was in my very, early twenties and I had never taken any kind of business class or anything, but I always had an entrepreneurial entrepreneurial spirit. and I decided I'm to put myself through business school. So I got all these books together and I started watching Susie Orman and like anything I could.

read lots of Robert Kiyosaki stuff and I just kind of put myself through this like rigorous study in these books. Michael Gerber, the E-Myth books were so profound to me and what it just to boil it all down if you're not familiar it's just this the entrepreneurial myth is his primary book series and it's really around this idea that most entrepreneurs don't understand that if you're really great at cutting hair

And you're just crushing it. Like you are amazing and you're a genius at it. Most people who are then like a technician like that in their industry, who then try to translate that into a business fail within five years. And the failure happens because the technician, the person that loves cutting hair or in this case doing transformational work doesn't see that there is just this whole other skill set to learn.

And that just, made so much sense to me. It was like, oh my God, of course. Like there's a way of creating clients and there's a way of setting fees and a way of setting programs that really, really matters. And it's so learnable.

Like anybody can, I learned this as like a 20 year old. I mean, there's a lot of nuances and things to work through, but to get interested in this, this side of the work, I think it's really important for anybody that wants to thrive. And it's, for me, it was kind of the invisible thing. I didn't see that a lot of very successful entrepreneurs were paying attention to.

It's kind of like the behind the scenes work of then getting to do the in session work and in the retreat work and the stuff that we all love so much. And one of my, one of the things that really supports me with that is truly treating the client creation process.

with the same level of service on my mind as I do, the same depth of service is a part of that process. It's the same when I'm working with a potential client or with my clients. And I know Steve Chandler talks a lot about this, like how much can you make the sales portion, the marketing, all the stuff that you do kind of behind the scenes, how much can you have it be in the same spirit and the same feeling as the really yummy work that we love doing, the session work with our

I could just go on and on bar but I'll pause there.

Barb Patterson (05:40)
No, I

think I like that start. It's like, you know, that first piece of there's a different skill set here. And I know I hear a lot of coaches or people that, you know, transition into consulting or freelance work or.

facilitation coaching that will say, well, I'm really good at the thing, but I'm not good at all that. So I like just re-emphasizing it's learnable, you know, that the things we're talking about are just a function of trusting that if you put your attention and intention in that direction, you'll learn.

And I think for me, I relied on some of the network and relationships I had. And so I was able to get some initial connections. But where the real challenge came was, well, how do you make that consistent? How do you not just have a one-off and then months of a dry spell? How do you create consistency? And that was something I had to really look at. And I had to see, like, am I?

What am I doing to intentionally build relationship? What am I doing? Like I could there I realized that I was spending a lot of time on indirect business building versus more direct relationship business building and what I mean by that is I would get caught up in the website or in packaging or in

fine tuning an email, sending an email out, thinking about a freebie. And while all those things can be valuable and make sense, ⁓ in those periods, if I wasn't doing direct going to places, talking about what I do, meeting people, putting myself in proximity to the kind of people I want to engage with, if none of that was happening, all these indirect things were just

potentially a lot of effort, a lot of time, and I felt busy, but they weren't really feeding, getting clients in the way that a direct focus and intention does. And I have a good friend of mine that's been in sales for years. ⁓ last year or so we were having a conversation, we were all at dinner, some friends and...

He asked me about dating and I said, yeah, I said, I'm open. I would like to date, you know, and then he said, well, I'm going to tell you what I tell all my salespeople. I'm like, okay, what's that? And he said that very thing. He said, are you in proximity to the type of people you want to work with? And, you know, for me to the type of men that you want to meet. And it was just such a simple reminder and such, think a good.

place for us to focus, am I putting myself out there? And people then get worried or they think what we're saying is, look at everyone as a potential client. I am not saying that. Isla is not saying that. That feels horrible. It's no fun. It's exhausting and people don't like it either. No, it's just, you out there in the world building relationships, setting up zoom calls, talking to people, and that does something for us. It lifts. So a part of

being a business owner is what am I doing to put myself in proximity? What am I doing that's direct and indirect? And do I know the difference? And am I engaging in my business from a more thoughtful place rather than just hoping that magic is gonna strike? ⁓

Aila (09:26)
Yeah,

totally. Well, and I love this, the direct and the indirect, that distinction. And I think, and just to flush it out a little bit, I know you mentioned it, but I think I know exactly what you mean. The direct business building activities in this kind of work, we're in the...

conversation work, in the relationship building work, the direct path to creating business is through connection. It's through direct connection. this is one of the things I love supporting amazing coaches around ⁓ seeing is it's like, you even playing the game that creates more opportunities?

for connection and in those connections there is that magical element, the mystery, we don't know what's gonna unfold through those. We're certainly not trying to manufacture anything, but it's through the connections with real people in real time, we see opportunities to support them. We can ask, do you wanna talk more about that? Do you have support with that? Would you like support with that? If you've been around me at all, you know I'm very candid and just like ordinary in every way.

but I don't hold back if I see something. I'm very like, do you want some, do you have help with this? Like, I care about you human. I don't know if I'll be the right one to help, but I'm walking around on the earth. I used to see myself this way and I still do in a big way. It's like, what if I'm here to help the people, myself included, but what if I'm really here and if I have ears for it.

I can just be the, be the person that says, you're looking for a mechanic. know somebody here. Let me connect you. you're looking for somebody to take care of your dog. know 10 amazing people that do that. Let me connect you. you're looking for some help with depression or anxiety. You know, I, I help people with that from time to time. Do you want to have a conversation? you're, you want help scaling your photography practice. I love brainstorming that kind of stuff. Do you want to have a conversation or I know somebody that's doing that.

And just walking around in my world with eyes and ears for that, I like that. I'm not hunting. I'm not ⁓ doing anything manipulative. I'm just listening. the indirect, so direct, being in direct, deliberate business building activity is, you connecting with people on a regular basis?

And really we can do this intentionally and indirect is in my mind, it's like, can be really like so fun. The indirect stuff, the business, the websites, anything. Yeah. Social media posts, like anything like that. It's really, it can be fun. can be helpful. It's, it's also not the way to create a client or create business today.

Barb Patterson (12:31)
So, so.

Aila (12:44)
It's like long game kind of stuff, which is great. And if, if you're like a lot of business owners that I talk to, it's like, they need clients now. And the quickest way to create a client now is to have eyes and ears for who has a problem or who has a dream that you can help with. And just being in the world with, with that kind of intentionality, looking for that. ⁓ it's like, it, it is a really.

important as I see it necessary part of growing a business. And every business, I am sure, has a strategy around marketing and sales. And I think we can just pretend like we don't need it in our work. know, solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, especially coaches, healers.

But we, and I see that what I want to say about that is having some idea of what you can do on a consistent basis to create business, it's so relaxing to like really know, at least it is for me, like to really know I can do action. It's not, ⁓ you know, it's not, ⁓ I'm.

on a wing and a prayer, it's like, can actually do things that create consistent conversations and consistent clients, consistent enrollments. I can do things that create that consistency where there's not huge, you know, dry spells or whatever. It's like, I can do the consistent thing. And I remember working with Steve and I, I hadn't really seen it this way, but I had read the prosperous coach and all these different coaching books. And I was like, I think there's a system here.

This is like a system for creating clients. It's connecting, inviting them to talk, serving them, and then talking about working together. And I wrote it out in like these four little boxes and I showed it to him one day. This was like six years ago. Like, is this the system I'm doing? Like it feels like this is what I'm doing. And he looked at it he's like, yeah, never really looked at it like that simply before, but yeah, that's basically all there is to it in one way or another.

Like, however you, you one-on-one invitations and connections, group conversations, however you do it is your own, the connection piece is, it's just like, you got, it's part of the work. It's part of it.

Barb Patterson (15:17)
And the connection piece is just remember, like, you already have that capacity, that capability, because, you know, you do the work you do. You know how to listen. You know how to respond. You know how to hear what's beneath the words. That you know how to build rapport. And those are all that connection is. When you're out in the world just doing what you love and you're available and open.

you know, that piece and coming back to it's like when you think about yourself as a business owner rather than thinking I'm a coach that has to get clients, but you begin to embrace that you are a business owner and you'll start to see it's like, yeah, okay. What am I consistently doing to build my network and relationships? What am I consistently doing to serve the people in my circle?

that my current clients, what am I doing to serve them and to stay connected? I shared in our practitioner, our apprenticeship program, I created a video where Ila and I are sharing a lot behind the scenes stuff. And I shared that a woman that had been a client of mine ⁓ four years ago, five years ago actually, ⁓ afterwards I've stayed connected. Now I've stayed connected not as like,

strategy per se, but I've stayed connected because I care. You end up, I think all of us end up falling in love with our clients and caring about them and getting in their corner. So I stayed connected to hear how she was doing. I would reach out every once in a while. I ⁓ needed a pilot group when I was doing my Inner Being of Leadership online program. I asked her to be in the pilot. I invited her to be on my podcast. There were just things and all of these were organic.

Aila (16:47)
Yeah.

Barb Patterson (17:11)
They were things that came through and then also my just genuine interest in her and care. And then last week or when Ila and I were together, she reached out to me about a potential opportunity to moderate this Women in Business series. And it's so resonant. It's something I've dreamed of doing on my own. I really love her and her business and the way she thinks. So that came out of...

You could say out of the blue, out of nowhere, it was a totally unexpected, but those are the things. It wasn't linear. You know, I didn't say I have to stay connected to all my clients because it could lead to more opportunity. That's a potential that can be there, but you do what you love and I love those clients and love being in relationships. So it's again, what am I doing inside my work with people? How am I maintaining relationship after even before?

Like again, what are those networks? The other thing I just want to say is, I know for a lot of us, we want to create programs, retreats, workshops, or get inside businesses and offer, you know, like there's a way that it's not the one-on-one coaching that we're necessarily interested in. And when I was first starting to do that, I had to really realize like,

I couldn't have all my eggs in one conversation. And then if that didn't lead to a sale, get really discouraged. I really saw I'm nurturing something here. I could go into a business and talk about what might be possible. But then it might occur to me in that, well, how about I put together a pilot or why don't you let me talk to them one-on-one? And like you trust the creative intelligence to support you as you're building those relationships. But the other thing I saw was.

Aila (18:40)
Yes.

Barb Patterson (19:03)
I had to become more discouragement proof because I would want it to go faster or I'd want it to, you know, one and done, or I, you know, it kept feeling hard and I didn't realize that that hard was a state of mind, you know? And so when I started to bounce back and see my own resiliency and just get more discouragement proof, like get over myself faster, I realized like there's actually fun in.

Aila (19:06)
Yes.

Yeah.

Barb Patterson (19:31)
that part of the phase of the business as well. And the other thing is, just one more thing, and filling a group is, ⁓ my sister reminded me about a concept that came from Jim Collins out of the book, an old book by DeGrate, which is about flywheels. And the idea is that the first turn of a flywheel takes more effort and energy, and maybe the second or third.

Aila (19:34)
yeah.

Barb Patterson (19:57)
but that there's a point at which the flywheel no longer needs your effort and energy and it just starts to go on its own. I wanted that right away. I wanted to think the idea of send an email and magic, you know, but I really, this is where I had to see it. It's like, no, no, certain things, and magic is possible. Those things happen, but I had to be committed. Like, was I willing to fill the course, have it be what it is, and then do it again?

Aila (20:24)
Yeah.

Barb Patterson (20:24)
Or

was I going to get so discouraged that I was going to be like, never mind, was I going to quit too early? You know, so again, you're in the business, the long game of business. So not to just look at every client or every opportunity or every course as like the thing. It's like, how do I keep perspective and keep my mind open to the bigger picture and realize, no, we're building something here and we want to be in it for the long game.

Aila (20:52)
Yep. Yep. Yep. I love that. ⁓ what you said about discouragement proof, ⁓ is so powerful. I think it's, I just in the, in the mastermind recently did a whole course on that of like, a whole talk on that, like that, relationship with that feeling of discouragement is like so important to look at. But I think something that really helps with.

discouragement is actually having a clear ⁓ understanding of the cycle of enrollment and the cycle of sales, if you will. And I used to do this ⁓ for myself, and then I'd do it with clients that I was mentoring, but I would track things. And just to get into reality that if I want to, let's say, create a client,

I know that that means I need to be talking to at least three people. But to be talking to at least three people in helpful conversations, I probably need to be connecting with about six people. To be connecting with about six people, means I need to be intentionally showing up somewhere where there are people that I want to connect with. And or if anybody's like me and you never want to leave your house.

I need to be willing to connect via email or phone call or text or whatever. But these are things that you can really, like for me, they help get, they help me feel really settled down inside around, I on track overall? Like am I, am I talking to enough people? And I think part of, part of what I feel is really helpful for me in my own business is really,

genuinely being unattached to if a client signs up or not or a family or like genuinely wanting for them what they want for themselves.

And supporting them if they say, now's not the right time to just be somebody that's like, great. I trust you. Amazing. Wonderful. ⁓ and to have it actually be genuine, that feels like a whole journey to get, get to that place, but it's really nice to have that desire. ⁓ that like, we want to work with people that really want to work with us. Like we, that's what we want. That's what we're going for.

And there's also enough people to talk to. I think this is the number one concern of all entrepreneurs is where do we get business, where do we get clients, where are these magical, elusive people that are out there.

And what I see over and over again is that they're right. They're in our lives. They're one step away. They're one conversation away. ⁓ knowing that and just being willing to be interested in continuing to connect with people and to do it in like really fun ways. think this is part of loving your business more and more is if you're somebody that wants to be connecting with people, you know, you see that as part of the process here.

and you want to, don't even know where to begin with connecting with people. It's like begin somewhere, begin by going places that you want to be.

⁓ Barb and I are starting an ⁓ academy in the fall and we were just talking about this last week when we were dreaming up different parts of the curriculum and this is one of them. I'm just going to say it right now Barb. ⁓ But this is one of them that if you want to be creating more business and more clients and you literally are like, I don't know who.

Make your own life better by going, joining groups and clubs and classes and startup meetup group. Go to a toast masters. Like go make your own, go take dance classes. Just go anywhere that there are, there are humans doing things that you enjoy doing.

And again, it's not to be manipulative at all, but if your eyes are on service and just like authentically wanting to connect, it's very natural. It's very organic how business can evolve in this way. And I just want to say again, kind of being a strategic planner in my own business when I started thinking about...

Like if I were a company and I were the CEO, the owner, the sales team, the marketing team, and the service provider, how's it all going in all of those areas? Like how, how, how are we doing and where, where are there opportunities to up level and just being kind of doing like a little assessment for yourself can be really helpful.

Because you can see where there are opportunities to bring in more energy and more attention and intention, especially if you're in that boat of feeling like you're really great at the craft. But for some reason, things aren't coming together.

you can look to like how can you breathe more life, more energy, more clarity into the sales department or the marketing if that applies.

But when I look at it objectively like that, I see so many times in my life when I was really struggling in my work, I would have been fired if I were working inside of an organization. And I just, say this because I feel like it's really okay to treat your practice, treat your business like a business and to just have that level of care and dedication to it. That there's...

There are things that you can be doing on a daily, weekly basis that will keep growing your business. It's not a mystery. It's doable. You can learn it. You can get support. You can join our Academy in the fall. ⁓

Barb Patterson (26:57)
Yeah. Well,

and I think that's the invitation. Well, not the Academy, although that is always an invitation. But where we started the call, it's if you were to embrace that you are also a business owner. And when you think about how could you bring your interest, your curiosity, your openness to yourself as a business owner?

Aila (27:04)
Bye.

Barb Patterson (27:24)
in everything from building relationship to growth to getting over yourself. What's the mindset of a business owner? What's the, what, how is your business designed to evolve you so you can realize more of your own potential? Like everything you point your clients to, your business becomes your own personal kind of opportunity to evolve you, you know, to.

help you realize more of who you are. And the remembering, like we have great ground to stand on. We stand on the ground that, you know, we are these infinite creative beings that has access to fresh thinking and new ideas. And we bounce back and we're resilient. You know, all those things help us in the business of coaching or freelance or solopreneurship as much as it helps us in our work with other people. And so, yeah, we're...

Where can you embrace the learning curve and where can you like play with, where have you been ⁓ removed from your business in a way that you might benefit by getting re-engaged in relationship or the direct stuff or ⁓ whatever that might be, any of those areas. So, yeah.

Aila (28:44)
Yeah.

And it's all like, never, gosh, I can't say I never set out to be a business owner. I think I always knew I would be in one way or another, but I didn't love it when it came to my coaching practice. Somehow it felt like this sacred craft that couldn't be, ⁓ didn't want to change it with money and sales and.

Barb Patterson (29:07)
came to.

Aila (29:11)
It's like really getting over that and now how I see it, it's like I cherish my work. I like love it so much and then I see my, the business is the scaffolding. It's like the support structure under it. And to bring as much love and service and care to that dimension of the work, it's possible. You know, it's really helpful.

and getting an alignment inside yourself with the truth that if you are doing this work for money, it's like you're, you're in business. And that's a thing. Yeah.

Barb Patterson (29:43)
Yeah.

Well, as always, thank you everybody for listening and joining us and we look forward to the next time.

Aila (29:55)
Bye everyone.