August 08, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update

August 08, 2025: The stock market sees mixed movements as investors weigh the implications of upcoming tariffs. Gold continues to outperform Bitcoin as a safe haven, reflecting ongoing economic uncertainty. In corporate news, Sweetgreen reports declining customer interest in premium salads. Meanwhile, FlyJets experiences a surge in private jet rentals amid rising demand. Additionally, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are considering a $30 billion IPO this year. On the geopolitical front, Trump is set to meet with Putin in Alaska on August 15. Stay tuned for insights on these developments. Powered by LabCat AI research tools.

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A savage daily roast of the dumbest moves in the stock market. From clueless CEOs and meme stock meltdowns to shady earnings calls and Wall Street’s worst takes — we break the news and break down laughing. Think CNBC, but if the hosts were Reddit mods with nothing to lose. No financial advice. Just unfiltered market chaos, sarcasm, and stonk carnage. New episodes daily.