Welcome to the Love, Sex, and Leadership podcast where you can discover simple tantric teachings to embody your true power, awaken your soul's wisdom, and live an inspired life as a natural, intuitive, and heart-centered. Noticing the sound of the water. Noting the sound of the buzzing jungle. Simply Becoming present. Only that sound. How much of it can you receive? Into your awareness. How much presents can you offer? Only that sound, the sounds that you hear. As you breathe into the belly. Inviting you now to Inviting you now to slowly just bring your hand to your forearm. Just barely Begin to touch. The skin, the back of your hands. Or your palm And can you bring your Undivided presence and awareness. That touch Feeling as if that touch. It's the only thing that existed. Even right now as you. Bring this touch to your own skin. You're having a conversation between your Undivided masculine presence. It's gently bringing full awareness. And focus and attention to your touch. Can you then simultaneously while in that presence. Notice how that touch is being received. In your body. We're having a dance between our awareness and our presence. And our receptivity. Just simply playing with our senses. You can call this masculine and feminine, you can call this yin and yang. You call this whatever you wanna call it. Or playing with the Places of our own polarity. Within this bioelectric magnetic vibrating. Cellular machine that we move through. You might notice that in your undivided presence, There might be a feeling that arises from the receptivity of the touch upon your hand. For each one of us, that feeling is different. Being that there's a cornucopia. Of expressions and essences, and energies, and feelings that move through us. And yet at the same time, there's the. Undivided presence of that singularity of touch to which we're experiencing. And then as you Expand upon that touch. Just take a moment and really squeeze your arms. Giving a nice firm grounding touch, and as you squeeze your arms, you feel the structure. Of your bones, the structure of the bones that make up this. Flesh suit that we moved through. So if you could bring all of your attention and awareness to the bones in your body, in your arms. In your legs, in your chest, in your ribs, and your head. That structure. Then what allows And creates the form. The water and the blood to flow, so now for a moment. Let your body become like that water. Maybe your hips gently move. Maybe there's a flow of. Your fingertips across your skin. And then bring awareness to your spine. Notice your alignments. Connection between your. Chakra by chakra, from your base to your crown, from your crown to your base. And then imagine that flowing life force energy moving from the base of your spine up to your crown, almost in wave-like. Serpents energy. So here we're beginning to weave. Between these dance of polarities of expressions, between structure and flow. Presence and receptivity. I just dancing between these. Aspects within our being. And then receive a breath in again. Let it out with the sound. gently opening the eyes when you're ready. As you bring your eyes, take a look at the nature that surrounds us. Nature is all forms and structures that's allowing flow to happen. Each individual aspect, leaf. 3 Flour As a certain Aligned structure than that which then allows life force and energy to move through it, and allows the wind to touch upon it. As you bring your awareness to the other bodies in this room, there's this dance between. Structure and flow, each and every one of us was in that dance. Really all the time through life. What we're gonna be moving into today is You should say expanding the playground of the polarity to which we know, and expanding the reference points of our own awareness so that When we meet life, whatever is in front of us. We can have an embodied sense of gratitude for it, rather than a judgment towards it. And just as a show of hands, anyone have any judgments towards the masculine on this planet? Any, any frustration you might see? OK, great. We're gonna have a great opportunity to own all of that and to name all of that, because every judgment that you might have mentioned a bit yesterday, that judgment, when you place that judgment in a sense, you're giving that judgment power. You're saying I can't own that contrast of reality, so I'm gonna judge you so that I can call myself free. But that's not actual freedom. That's just an alleviated version of freedom because you're not actually willing to own that which you're judging. And so part of Diving into these polarities is recognizing that in these You could say dance of structure and flow, masculine and feminine, whatever words you want to use, you always have, we also have kind of a connection of this between spirit and matter. Meaning, if I'm looking at the the masculine energy, and I'm referencing more of the spirit energy of that, Would you say that's a little bit more of a lighter frequency? It's a bit more of a, ah, I'm, I'm gonna be in my, I know many of you have been in meditation and pacia and silence and stillness, and being with the, the lighter frequencies of that place of stillness. Yeah, I know I've sat in a lot of silent meditations, who's done some times in silence. And there's a beautiful purification of energy that happens that a lot of it is typically, you could say like, Heart up. It's not necessarily diving into matter. It's not, it's more like let me ascend, let me find God out of my body somewhere up in the heavens. And when I'm saying God, the best definition of God I ever met was grand organized design. GOD. So rather than a religious amorphic pie in the sky, hairy man that is the god, let it just be this grand design of this fucked up, crazy, chaotic, beautiful, blissful world that we live in. So, if we can experience that lighter frequency, I know when I first found this world, I was meditating and I just turned asexual, and I was, you know, living on my boat, and I was just flowing and fluid, and I was going to this trans-denominational spiritual center and I was becoming one with God. And, and then I had my sex life, and it was like, I wouldn't even think about like any intersection, because no one had ever taught me anything differently. It was when later in life I met this field of tantra, I started to recognize, wow, there's divinity in the lighter energy, but what if there's also Divinity into matter, into what we might call darkness. And when we say darkness, often the connotation to which it holds in our awareness is that which is like evil or bad. How many of you ever thought like that before? Yeah, it's cause it's like there's a part of us, even in the evolution of the human species, if you look at like spiral dynamics and understanding more like integral theory at certain developmental stages of life. You have people that are afraid of the bad spirits, and there's aspects of being here in Bali that are very connected to this dark and light place. What's interesting, connecting the darkness is the island of Nusaannida, which is still part of Bali. Years ago, when Bali was really developing more and more, they sent all of the bad spirits that were in humans to Nusa Pannida. They're like, you're too intense, so go there. And as a result, Nusa Pannida is like considered one of the most like holy places and a few of the temples there in the Balinese culture. At least that's been shared with me from different priests I've spoken to. But if you think about, OK, so the really intense people that are more connected to spirit. That we don't want on your on our island, but it's also the really holy place too. So think about that kind of interesting contradiction in a sense. So, lighter frequencies spirit, and then you could say more the darker matter is when we go into the lower chakras. And what is that? Sex, money, power. Any shadows you see around sex, money, and power in the world? Any anybody, anybody seen any? No, there's none. We're fucking perfect world we live in. But like when we as a male body, all I know is I can never change the outside. What I can change is the inside. So the outer is a reflection of the inner. The outer reality that I'm seeing is a reflection of my own inner reality. So if I want to change the inner reality, or I want to change the outer reality, I need to change my inner reality. I need to change the way in which I'm meeting and observing the world. So instead of denying those aspects of me. That I might be afraid of. I wanna invite them into my awareness. I wanna invite that which I'm condemning and blaming and shaming and saying those fucking guys are terrible, those abusers, those abusers, those rapists, those violent, you know, motherfuckers, all that, and actually invite to say, wow. I am not too. Now, the key with this doesn't mean you need to go out and rape and kill and be violent, but it means you need to own the energetics of what that is, because just like we went over yesterday in that warrior-like spirit spirit, when you own all that energy, then you create a deeper level of safety. So part of the invitation of what we'll be going into today is inviting you into a deeper descent into those darker places, not from the place of becoming evil, evil being the intentional desire to cause harm to another. And darkness, close your eyes. There's darkness. The universe is made up of what, like 90% dark matter or even more than that. There's a lot of darkness on this planet. It's not bad or good, it's just darkness. And actually, you know, in certain teachings, there there there's an indication that we can actually be sourced from the darkness, sourced from the black holes in this universe that are are essentially a Universal flow of energy that we can tap into, that's far greater than any level of conscious, uh, energetic awareness that we have on this planet. So Take a breath. Uh That's the, you could say, light being more spirit, darkness being more matter, and that's on the masculine side. That's also a deeper journey on the feminine. If we look at the light side of the feminine, we might look at, you know, the Mother Teresa in the world, the, the, the, you know, Ama, the hugging saint, these people that are interested in this pure embodiment. Of compassion, of care, of I'm gonna continue to love you in this beautiful devotional, loving energy. And then if we look at that's more on the spirit side, if we look at the matter side of the, the dark feminine, anyone ever met this before and any partner? Doesn't always feel so good. But what is it when it's coming from a place of truth and totality? Enlightening Awakening. It's not, you know, some ubu chick saying I'm in my collie, so I'm gonna cut your head off. Like that's not uh that like if that's there, but it's not a self-righteous egoic referencing point of I'm gonna be collie and I'm gonna cut your head off, but don't actually own all the other aspects of what we're talking about, which is there's a lot of in this world. Yes, there's a beautiful place of that. Um, you could say entity or deity of hali that's been, um, preyed upon for many years to, to actually slice through all that isn't love, to slice through all that isn't birthing love and saying enough is a fucking enough, but it's not doing that out of a self-righteous ego ego that's trying to prove itself in the world. When I see that generally, especially with the, you know, new incoming Instagram influencers that I finally found their Tali, I generally just try to walk the other way, because it takes a while to actually have a true embodiment of the dark feminine. And so later on today, we're gonna invite you into a place of getting to know your own feminine a little bit deeper. And you might be surprised. I'm often surprised and, you know, groups of men when the feminine comes out. Some of them are dark crazy bitches that have been in the closet for a long time. I have a lot to say. And some of them are floating in the sky and playing with the butterflies and the bees, and all of it is welcome, but we want to invite what it is that we're putting into the unconscious, so that we can assimilate it and integrate more of our true power in our lives. Yeah. A few minutes by the doctor. Yeah, so the light feminine will be the angelic Mother Mary. She loves everything you say to her. I've killed my neighbor because we're having a fight and he's dead now. She'll be, oh, I'm so sorry. Wow, she embraces you. The duck feminine will look at you in the eyes and she will scream. What, she will scream. What the fuck? She will not attack you, but she will express a pain with outrageous truth, and the pain will be coming out. He had 2 children and just killed him. She expresses with no, with full into the matter. The dark is the matter. The light is the energy, it is the spirit. So the light masculine, the light feminine, they are very into the energy. Nothing can hurt it. Nothing can hurt energy. Energy is flowing. It's fluid. You cannot hurt energy. Matter you can hurt it. So matter, when you're on the matter, matter matters. If someone hurts my leg, my leg is hurt. If I break my knee, my knee hurt. So something needs to be done, something needs to be said. It has to be done and said. It's valid for the masculine will take action and the feminine will express emotion, express rage, express sadness. Yeah. Makes sense? Yeah. The dark masculine taking action is we go for a hike or a 5 day hike on the Kilimanjaro, and you hurt your leg and you got gangrene. And we have 5 days' walk. And if I don't cut your leg, you will die. And I look at you in the eyes and I say, brother, I know it's going to hurt. Someone's gonna do it and we need to cut your leg, otherwise you're gonna die. And it's gonna help. That's the dark masculine, takes action. Someone needs to be done, something needs to be done. Yeah. The light masculine will be, let's pray for a miracle. And guess what? A helicopter might turn up. But it's two different energies and both are valid and both work together. Both are in harmony like the yin and the yang. OK. Makes sense? And the dark has been given a very bad name by Hollywood because the dark as much as power on this three dimensional reality world. If you arrive with a million dollars, you can buy land and you can build a community for your friends if you want. Successful or not, it's another story. But if you, yeah, but you have power with matter. So, It's disturbing to the ones who are already in power, so disempowering people by giving the dark a bad name and steering people away from it is kind of a way to be able to control population. So if you look at the whole Hollywood subconscious programming movies, very often the dark is depicted as corrupted, hurting others, greedy. Cruel, yeah, and people are associating their circumstance or everything that is that is bad. So they go away from it. OK. But the truth is If someone Breaks into your house in the middle of the night and it's a couple of crack addicts and they are going into your children's room, you're going to get the baseball bat, it's going to be, they get away or you destroy their head. And someone has to do it. And it's you. And you will do it to save your children. That's the dark masculine. Something needs to be done now, and I'm the one to do it, and I know it's going to hurt. And I'm going to do my best to not hurt you, but someone has to do it. That's the dark masculine. OK, yeah, and shadow. So the shadow is a shadow is a different thing. A shadow is something that I don't own. And that I don't want to see or unconsciously deny a part of myself, a shadow would be an addiction, for example. Yeah. Uh, I deny it in myself, but everyone else can see it. That's a shadow. A shadow, the image is like the shadow. I don't see it, but it follows me everywhere. You know, the sun is, I don't see my shadow. Where is it? It's behind me. The sun is like, everyone can see it, but that's a shadow. Usually a shadow is a part of ourselves that we deny, we don't own, that is usually seen by others, but we deny it. And very often a shadow hurts the people we love the most because they are the only ones who love us enough to not leave us. Yeah, so it's two different, completely different things. Yeah, but to do shadow work, often we need the dark masculine. Because if my brother is starting to have, oh yeah, just having one glass of wine once in a while, and then he turns into 2 glasses of wine, and then it turns into 2 glasses of wine every dinner and every lunch, and then he ends up being late for work or being is responsible with his kids. Someone is going to look at him in the eye and say, bro, this is not just a glass of wine every day. You need to stop this. Your children are hurting. Someone is going, no, no, who do you think you are? You can't tell me what to do, say, bro, your children are hurting. Stop it. That's the dark masculine. It says the truth with no compromise from a place of love. It has a relationship to death. The dark masculine is met death, his face death, isn't afraid of death, and actually, In the the place to where the dark masculine meets you, you recognize when you look him in the eyes that he knows death. And death is just another aspect of being alive. And a lot of times in our culture, our fear of death is the very thing that inhibits us from owning the depth and the capacity of the dark. So when we confront death, when we meet death, when we make friends with death, and we recognize that death is just an aspect of living. Then we have an embodiment of that which we often have completely suppressed and and and not owned inside of us. And, and the, you know, the shadow hunting thing which uh you hear a lot in, in a lot of these conscious conversations and work, it's beautiful, but when someone's talking about their shadow for the same coffee conversation for a couple of weeks, it's not really a shadow anymore. It's just something that they're having, you know, they they have an awareness of. So really the shadow parts of us are these aspects that are literally impacting our unconscious minds and decisions that we don't necessarily have uh a level of awareness of. So when we go into journeys of uncovering and meeting the shadows, you're meeting parts of yourself that you probably have never fully owned. And part of that might come out in today's practice. You might find yourself at a at a given time as the embodiment of the dark masculine, and you might recognize that part of what you're embodying is the shadow that you hate about the dark masculine, the, you know, the unhealthy, the abuse, the, the violence, the killing. So but actually by going through those aspects of you, you can expand. The frequency of what you're able to hold, and when you can expand the frequency of what you solidarity can hold as a dark masculine, just what that does inside for the feminine. Cres her safety. And so this is why today we worked with these two polarities very strongly. It's just the stronger, the more aligned, the more powerful, the more present that dark masculine becomes. And finally from the dark trenches of your being, the feminine that's been stored there for a long time that got pushed away. Because mom or dad or society or culture said, no, no, no, you gotta be a big boy. Big boys don't wear dresses, you can't do that. You, you know, you can't do all these things. And so that part of us, that's half of us, we are in a male body, yes, we meet the world for masculine energy, but there's still a feminine energy inside of us. It doesn't mean that she needs to run the show all the time, but if she doesn't have a seat at the table in decision making, then what happens? She just becomes a dark, spiteful, fucking little bitch. And how many of you have met that part of you and you're like, 00, and I was thinking about like horror movies. Like when the little boy goes bad, you know, generally there's like destruction and like, you know, things are falling apart and you're like, oh yeah, the fucking little boy is pissed. Fuck, when the little girl goes mad, shit's going fucking crazy. Like worlds are colliding, universes are imploding. Like things are fucking happening mad and you're like, get me out of here, you know, so the feminine energy and the unhealthy, especially in a man's body, the most unhealthy feminine on this planet. It's in these bodies, not in female bodies. So that to me is one of the most important pieces of the work we're doing here. Yes, we're getting stronger in our masculine, our center, and our alignment, and our capacity to witness without judgment, but we're also opening up a deeper integration of our feminine, cause if not, she comes out after a month, a year, 10 years in relationship, and the person that you're with is like, Who the fuck is that? Where's she been in the last year, decade, and you're like, I don't know. I haven't met her either. This is scary as fuck. So we want to integrate these parts inside so that they're not running the unconscious in the shadow, and they're more assimilated into our way of being. And then we're not projecting all that which we hate about the feminine onto the, the female bodied feminine because that just creates more separation. Yeah. So an example is, if I deny my feminine because my soul is half masculine, half feminine, yin and yang have the same size. There is half of me, if I repress my feminine because being raised in France, boys don't cry, don't play with the girl, just play with the boy. Then living in Australia, same story. Boys don't cry. Don't play with the girl. Men are supposed to be manly. So there's a tendency to repress the feminine because I'm going to be rejected by my friends, by my peers. So if I repress that, Then it's still there, but it's repriced. It's still alive, but it has pressure and it wants to come out. And because it's not allowed to come out into the light, it will come out in the shadow. So what is the expression of coming out in the shadow of a feminine that's been repressed that is not allowed to come out in the light? So instead of, so I'm a very manly Aussie guy. Drinking beer But the part of me that feels, the part of me that wants to relax and receive is denied and has to hide. So how do I express that part of me that wants to feel that be passive? I'm going to be taking some drugs because it forces me into the feminine. I'm going to be drinking alcohol because then my big arm will disappear and I can finally cry. I'm going to be watching porn because when I watch porn, I don't have to do anything. I look at the screen and it's feeding me energy. I receive. I'm going to be addicted to watching television on Netflix because then I'm in the receiving the feminine receives masculine penetrate the masculine shines like the sun, the feminines like the moon received the moon. So the part of me that is repressed will be expressed in an unhealthy way, and often addiction comes as an expression of the unhealthy feminine that cannot express itself into the light. And magically what happens is when we give the quota of expression to the feminine. It does, she doesn't need to come out in the shadow. There's no pressure anymore. So if I own my poetry, if I own the fact that after I worked hard all day, I just want to go to the beach and relax. I just want to Get in a bath or go to ecstatic dance and go crazy and not have to do any structure, then suddenly there's a correlation that these kind of people who can express and own in the light, the feminine have a lot less addictions, have a lot less unhealthy expression of the feminine. Statistics. In uh in in my book, I put on the cover, mastering masculinity. And the head, heart and balls. I wanna sell men what they feel like they, they want, and then chapter 6 is Awakening the Inner Queen. Give them what they actually fucking need. Because that's generally the society that we're in. It's like, you know, there's a part of the masculine needs to get stronger, but the way that actually that backbone of the masculine gets stronger. is by experiencing the depth of the fluidity of the emotions of the intensity. So we're expanding the energetic hold of these polarities that we can play with, so that we can actually know and we can be at a vibration of love. Love not being a a an addiction to the white picket fence of only the light, but love being actually a synthesis of the light in the dark. Love being a synthesis and synchronicity of complementary opposites, light and dark, synthesizing in space and time, in a moment in time, recognizing, ah, I'm at one with the universe at a given moment. Look at that word atonement, at one mint. I'm at one mint with the world around me. I see the light in the dark, the good and the bad, the kind and the cruel, the naughty and the nice. And then I have an appreciation for both of it. I'm not addicted to either side, and then, ah, there I am at the center, living and breathing from the integrity of my heart, not the illusion that the dark is bad and the light is good. There's just as many disadvantages in the light as there are advantages in the dark. There's just as many disadvantages in happiness as there are advantages in sadness. There are two. Polarity poles that ultimately is the duality of the life that we live in, that we're trying to transcend, so tantra or embodiment or somatics and working with all of these together in the transcendence of these, but not a transcendence out of the body, but a transcendence into and through the body, we experience the embodiment and the essence of love through our life without being reactive to the world around us. So, take a breath. Ah Um