A woman has to sort through all sorts of emotions after finding out her husband has been sexually active behind her back. How can her anger be righteous and not sinful? How can she feel safe with other women and with even her husband? Listen in for experiential wisdom from Rosie Makinney and Charity Munoz!
For the second week in a row, Braden's wife Kristen leads a wives roundtable with Rosie Makinney and Charity Munoz. This week, the ladies share incredible advice on what a wife needs to do feel safe with her husband in the recovery from betrayal trauma.
You need real support
As a wife, you just need to hear that you aren't crazy. Through having community, you'll get to see that other women going through betrayal are beautiful, normal women who also have husbands using porn as an escape. Having women that can relate to you speak into your life when you're feeling so alone is powerful for healing and feeling understood. You might feel mad that you're going through a situation that isn't your fault, but making the wise choice to go through it will help you so much.
Recovery can be messy! But it gets better
Charity sometimes wished that Clinton would back to pornography to cover up his feelings. When he didn't have an escape, he was an emotional roller coaster. Then Charity realized that Clinton wasn't the only one going through things and that she also had to figure out how to live in this new reality of recovering from addiction in marriage. They learned that they couldn't tell each other everything all the time and found that weekly check-ins were so helpful. Rosie assures the listeners that marriage without porn can be 300 times better than a marriage with it when you go through the hard stuff.
Celibacy is part of recovery
Part of a man recovering is not having the outlet he's always had so that he can figure out what emotions or walls are driving him to sexual outlets. If he goes from porn to his wife, she becomes his outlet and he never gets to become emotionally or spiritually healthy. A 90-day period of celibacy allows his brain to be re-wired and gives both spouses time to deal with the shock and hurt of the porn consumption being exposed.
Share With Your Friends
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Next week, Matt and Braden are back to talk about certain rituals that the porn user engages in that open up opportunities to get triggered without even realizing where the trigger is coming from.
Restored2More - resources for couples with Clinton and Charity Munoz
Fight For Love Ministries - resources for women with Rosie Makinney
Your Pure Freedom Journey through Restored Ministries
Personal 1-on-1 Coaching with one of Restored Ministries' trained coaches
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
What is Pure Victory Podcast?
Faith-based inspiration to win at sex, conquer porn, and find purpose in staying free forever.