WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:00.789 --> 00:00:06.320 Welcome to the Soul Touched by Dogs Podcast, the show for dog lovers who 00:00:06.340 --> 00:00:12.000 see dogs not as toys or tools, but wise souls worth our respect and care. 00:00:12.580 --> 00:00:14.559 I'm an Herrmann, and I'm your host. 00:00:15.320 --> 00:00:20.560 I talk to poor some humans, people who do great work for dogs and their people. 00:00:21.099 --> 00:00:23.360 So come and join us for today's conversation. 00:00:24.825 --> 00:00:26.155 Anke: Hello and welcome, 00:00:26.255 --> 00:00:26.935 Wendy: Wendy. 00:00:27.005 --> 00:00:28.665 Anke: I'm very happy to have you here today. 00:00:29.345 --> 00:00:30.915 Wendy: Oh, I'm delighted to be with you, Anke. 00:00:30.915 --> 00:00:32.035 Anke: Thanks so much for inviting 00:00:32.035 --> 00:00:32.295 Wendy: me. 00:00:32.855 --> 00:00:34.735 Anke: Well, thanks for, thanks for coming. 00:00:35.045 --> 00:00:39.025 And the reason I invited you was because other people actually said 00:00:39.035 --> 00:00:40.957 what a brilliant guest you were. 00:00:40.957 --> 00:00:44.485 So when I saw that, I'm like, oh, I want her on my show. 00:00:44.485 --> 00:00:45.135 So here you are. 00:00:45.145 --> 00:00:45.715 Thank you. 00:00:46.235 --> 00:00:50.725 So let's start the way I always love to start, is let people know where are you 00:00:50.725 --> 00:00:53.025 based and what's your business with dogs? 00:00:53.900 --> 00:00:59.090 Wendy: Sure, well, I am in the US, in the state of Florida, in the lovely 00:00:59.090 --> 00:01:05.150 area of Sarasota, where we don't, uh, we don't get above two, uh, you know, below 00:01:05.450 --> 00:01:07.070 the 40 degrees you were talking about. 00:01:07.070 --> 00:01:08.130 We never really do that. 00:01:09.110 --> 00:01:13.830 Um, but my, my business with dogs is not so much business as personal experience 00:01:13.830 --> 00:01:18.730 that led on a journey of discovery and then research and then writing a book. 00:01:18.730 --> 00:01:23.910 And it all started with a little brown rescue puppy. 00:01:25.170 --> 00:01:28.660 started out so promising, like so many of these adventures do. 00:01:29.920 --> 00:01:36.260 And then, um, you know, we cured her of, of worms and all the anemia and 00:01:36.260 --> 00:01:42.070 all the problems that come from, uh, being born behind a, a gas station, uh, 00:01:42.070 --> 00:01:46.430 without a mom, you know, uh, being raised without a mom, she was in rescue and. 00:01:47.485 --> 00:01:49.465 Next thing you know, I was in over my head. 00:01:49.545 --> 00:01:53.785 I was really struggling and, um, I'm afraid I got very 00:01:53.785 --> 00:01:55.605 impatient with this little puppy. 00:01:56.045 --> 00:02:00.675 Um, I, I felt like we were, you know, adversaries somehow. 00:02:00.675 --> 00:02:03.815 I, I, I just, I thought she was out to get me, honestly. 00:02:05.795 --> 00:02:07.815 Uh, which, you know, isn't really fair. 00:02:07.815 --> 00:02:10.565 But that, that was how it seemed to me because we had 00:02:10.565 --> 00:02:11.665 been getting along so great. 00:02:11.665 --> 00:02:15.585 And then she started getting healthier and bigger and energetic. 00:02:15.585 --> 00:02:19.435 And next thing you know, I couldn't leasher, I couldn't do anything. 00:02:19.445 --> 00:02:24.910 It was just chaos and I was really, I was really in a mess and a pickle and I 00:02:25.350 --> 00:02:28.770 went to my husband and I started to give him, you know, all the reasons that we 00:02:28.770 --> 00:02:32.350 should bring her back to the shelter, you know, like, Oh, she's still young. 00:02:32.350 --> 00:02:33.140 She's still cute. 00:02:33.180 --> 00:02:34.350 People are going to want her. 00:02:34.440 --> 00:02:36.660 Somebody more qualified can, you know, get her. 00:02:36.660 --> 00:02:39.740 And, uh, because this is not working out so great for me. 00:02:39.950 --> 00:02:43.930 And I said that because I was the one doing the primary care for the puppy. 00:02:43.930 --> 00:02:49.245 I mean, he cuddled with her at night, but I was doing all the, you know, The 00:02:49.325 --> 00:02:54.825 other Raising the Puppy challenges and he could not be persuaded, you know, 00:02:55.075 --> 00:02:59.915 he snuggled with that puppy every night and they had created a bond and he was, 00:03:00.155 --> 00:03:04.555 he still believed in her and I had to find a way to get over this problem. 00:03:05.215 --> 00:03:07.115 That was really stressing me out. 00:03:07.115 --> 00:03:07.925 I was also worried. 00:03:07.925 --> 00:03:11.660 We had two cats and I was certain that this dog was, you 00:03:11.660 --> 00:03:13.670 know, grow up and kill the cats. 00:03:13.720 --> 00:03:19.920 Like, I just had visions of chaos for years and I was, I was a wrecking. 00:03:20.440 --> 00:03:26.990 So really, uh, in desperation, I, I had this crazy thought because 00:03:26.990 --> 00:03:28.780 I've never raised a child myself. 00:03:29.245 --> 00:03:33.115 But I had just helped write a book for parents who are struggling. 00:03:33.355 --> 00:03:38.065 I worked with some wonderful experts, uh, who started a Institute of 00:03:38.065 --> 00:03:41.695 Child Development at Texas Christian University, Karen Purvis and 00:03:41.915 --> 00:03:43.725 David Cross, wonderful professors. 00:03:43.725 --> 00:03:48.365 And, um, I had this moment where I thought, you know, This is a puppy, 00:03:48.365 --> 00:03:50.085 but I'm a struggling parent, really. 00:03:51.125 --> 00:03:54.835 I can kind of relate to these people who we wrote the book for, and that made me 00:03:55.315 --> 00:03:58.805 think, you know, maybe I should just go back and flip through the manuscript and 00:03:58.805 --> 00:04:03.815 see, maybe it has some wisdom for me, because I, the puppy books, you know, 00:04:03.815 --> 00:04:09.660 the guides, the manuals, They, you know, they were okay if the puppy was calm, 00:04:09.660 --> 00:04:13.360 they kind of taught you how to do the thing, but they didn't tell you, like, 00:04:13.360 --> 00:04:17.150 how to deal with this insane creature that's, like, shooting around the house 00:04:17.170 --> 00:04:18.820 like they came out of a cannon, you know? 00:04:19.070 --> 00:04:22.530 It was just not, like, I could not, I couldn't get it. 00:04:22.820 --> 00:04:27.270 So I, I went back to the book and I started to just see 00:04:27.270 --> 00:04:28.820 things through a different lens. 00:04:28.820 --> 00:04:32.700 I started to think about the puppy's development and what it 00:04:32.710 --> 00:04:34.915 missed by not growing up with its. 00:04:36.015 --> 00:04:41.495 and mother in critical periods and that we took her home really too young. 00:04:41.975 --> 00:04:46.625 We didn't know this at the time, but, um, there were all these factors 00:04:46.945 --> 00:04:50.715 that when I started to really think about it and understand and look 00:04:50.715 --> 00:04:56.440 at it, I got a, I got a lot more compassion and I changed my methods. 00:04:56.490 --> 00:05:01.980 I, I just slowed down and I realized we're going to have to go at her rate, not at 00:05:01.980 --> 00:05:08.080 the rate that I was hoping to go because I had only dealt with grown, calm, you 00:05:08.080 --> 00:05:10.670 know, dogs before and she wasn't that. 00:05:12.950 --> 00:05:14.640 So that started me on a journey. 00:05:14.640 --> 00:05:18.330 And, and, you know, at first I didn't want to tell anybody I was using a parenting 00:05:18.330 --> 00:05:20.510 book, like, cause that seemed too crazy. 00:05:21.450 --> 00:05:22.100 But then. 00:05:22.660 --> 00:05:26.420 It just happened over my career that I, I helped another, you know, 00:05:26.460 --> 00:05:29.900 uh, group of experts write another parenting book, and we got, we took 00:05:29.900 --> 00:05:32.010 home a different dog, different rescue. 00:05:33.470 --> 00:05:37.110 The more I looked closely at that material, and the more I looked at 00:05:37.110 --> 00:05:41.950 the research in the animal realm, and in the human child development 00:05:41.950 --> 00:05:44.620 realm, I just saw so much connection. 00:05:45.045 --> 00:05:49.615 And, um, so that led to the book, you know, that I ended up writing called 00:05:49.635 --> 00:05:56.325 Tender Paws, um, how parent based, um, science based parenting can help transform 00:05:56.325 --> 00:05:59.155 our relationship with dogs, because that's, that's what happened to me. 00:05:59.155 --> 00:06:03.085 And then I just had such fun, I started talking to experts, um, like 00:06:03.085 --> 00:06:08.315 yourself, you know, dog professionals, uh, and getting their own personal 00:06:08.315 --> 00:06:13.335 stories that illustrated some of these principles, um, and some of it was 00:06:13.345 --> 00:06:15.655 really very touching and moving, um. 00:06:16.475 --> 00:06:19.595 And I'm very grateful to all the people who spoke with me for that. 00:06:20.205 --> 00:06:20.885 I love that. 00:06:20.885 --> 00:06:20.995 I 00:06:20.995 --> 00:06:21.755 Anke: love that so much. 00:06:22.405 --> 00:06:22.725 Okay. 00:06:22.755 --> 00:06:25.775 And I kept laughing because I'm like, yep, there's my crew. 00:06:26.095 --> 00:06:30.875 And, uh, yeah, no, there's like these two up the top, very like kind 00:06:30.875 --> 00:06:34.255 of similar, you know, especially the black one, like way too early. 00:06:34.605 --> 00:06:40.195 You know, and in this way, like, no, and that was actually what even started 00:06:40.495 --> 00:06:42.795 the idea for Soul Touched by Dogs. 00:06:42.795 --> 00:06:47.405 It was all the stuff that I read, you know, exactly how you said it. 00:06:47.425 --> 00:06:51.035 It was like, oh, all the instructions, you know, work for 00:06:51.235 --> 00:06:52.985 normal dogs kind of thing, right? 00:06:53.005 --> 00:06:56.995 All these, yeah, you have to have a level of calm for loose 00:06:56.995 --> 00:06:58.585 leash walking to even be a thing. 00:06:58.725 --> 00:07:01.765 Well, it certainly wasn't in my household. 00:07:02.495 --> 00:07:06.125 It was just like, well, let's just see if we don't get kind of dragged. 00:07:06.825 --> 00:07:09.165 No, and none of the tips work. 00:07:09.215 --> 00:07:12.375 That, that was for me, it kind of got me onto that. 00:07:12.375 --> 00:07:14.235 No, no, no, there's got to be something else. 00:07:14.575 --> 00:07:18.075 You know, those, those instructions, those, those tips 00:07:18.115 --> 00:07:19.505 are not all there is to it. 00:07:19.505 --> 00:07:21.585 And I just totally resonate with this idea. 00:07:21.935 --> 00:07:24.275 Actually, I have a friend of mine is a therapist. 00:07:24.490 --> 00:07:28.090 You know, and she's written, she's written a series of books and she 00:07:28.090 --> 00:07:34.710 treats with, especially with, uh, kids and, and, and, uh, adolescents 00:07:34.710 --> 00:07:38.590 and, you know, even grown ups who have, like, hypersensitivities, right? 00:07:38.780 --> 00:07:40.540 And they're often misunderstood. 00:07:40.870 --> 00:07:44.170 And wrongly judged and, you know, where it's like, oh, there is 00:07:44.170 --> 00:07:49.960 behavior, uh, rules are enforced that somehow make things worse, right? 00:07:49.960 --> 00:07:54.410 And when she talks about her mess, like her, her method, we've often 00:07:54.410 --> 00:07:55.610 laughed because she has a dog. 00:07:55.640 --> 00:08:00.210 Like we always are like, you can take Like, kids with hypersensitivity 00:08:00.210 --> 00:08:03.560 and replace that with dogs and will full on be relevant, right? 00:08:03.830 --> 00:08:07.980 It like, it makes, it makes so much sense, you know? 00:08:08.040 --> 00:08:14.020 So what's the most surprising thing that you, you know, that you all of a sudden 00:08:14.020 --> 00:08:18.320 saw differently when you looked at it through the lens of, of, of a parent? 00:08:18.320 --> 00:08:21.440 Like, what was like the dog doing where you thought, Oh, now I 00:08:21.440 --> 00:08:22.750 understand what's actually going on. 00:08:24.395 --> 00:08:26.445 Wendy: Well, there, there were a number of things. 00:08:26.635 --> 00:08:32.545 The turning point happened when she was so mouthy and just pawing 00:08:32.545 --> 00:08:35.115 and jumping and mouthing and, um, 00:08:37.505 --> 00:08:40.445 I just stood back and I gave her an opportunity to do it 00:08:40.545 --> 00:08:43.015 differently at her own pace. 00:08:43.855 --> 00:08:48.935 And when I offered her that opportunity, she stepped forward and licked my hand. 00:08:49.145 --> 00:08:52.185 Now, that doesn't sound like much, but she had never done that before. 00:08:52.695 --> 00:08:55.295 And that was quite different than putting her teeth on me, which is 00:08:55.295 --> 00:08:57.205 what she had been doing all the time. 00:08:57.545 --> 00:08:59.115 So what did you do differently then? 00:08:59.675 --> 00:09:07.555 Well, you know, I, I, um, first off, I had to center myself, like, you know, 00:09:07.595 --> 00:09:12.160 calm down, because I was And I was feeling stressed and, you know, uncomfortable 00:09:12.580 --> 00:09:17.490 that she was hurting me and, and so I really had to just like, calm down and 00:09:17.490 --> 00:09:23.180 say okay I'm going to like model, some of this calmness that I want to see 00:09:23.180 --> 00:09:27.180 from her going to stand back and what I also did was I crouched down low. 00:09:28.475 --> 00:09:33.765 And I just started speaking in a very calm, you know, soothing tone. 00:09:34.085 --> 00:09:35.535 I used the word do over. 00:09:35.545 --> 00:09:39.125 I could have really said anything, but, you know, I was, for me as well 00:09:39.125 --> 00:09:40.915 as for her, like, let's do a do over. 00:09:40.925 --> 00:09:45.385 So I, and I put my hand in a way, but I didn't come up on top of 00:09:45.385 --> 00:09:47.065 her and I didn't pounce on her. 00:09:47.395 --> 00:09:51.145 I, I, I was a little bit to the side, so she didn't feel 00:09:51.145 --> 00:09:53.305 like I was attacking her or. 00:09:53.760 --> 00:09:57.920 You know, she could get comfortable and come at her own pace, and I stayed at a 00:09:57.920 --> 00:10:02.390 distance for a little while, and she just started to, you know, come forward, and 00:10:02.390 --> 00:10:06.470 then she like sniffs my hand and then licks it that once, and that, that one 00:10:06.480 --> 00:10:11.930 lick, that, that was it, that was like, oh, she wants to connect, she just doesn't 00:10:11.930 --> 00:10:18.440 know how, um, and if I could appreciate that and give her the time, Um, that 00:10:18.440 --> 00:10:23.490 was, that was hugely helpful, especially for, you know, a growing, young, 00:10:23.850 --> 00:10:26.480 heading toward adolescence kind of dog. 00:10:26.990 --> 00:10:30.660 Um, there's fear and, and you talked about sensory. 00:10:30.660 --> 00:10:31.840 I'm so glad you brought that up. 00:10:32.380 --> 00:10:38.900 I got excited because in the Connected Child book, for example, we talked about 00:10:40.210 --> 00:10:45.100 Kids being online at school and somebody just bumps into them and they freak out 00:10:45.100 --> 00:10:49.070 and they like start punching and people don't understand that that's like a 00:10:49.070 --> 00:10:52.350 sensitive, you know, a sensory issue. 00:10:52.620 --> 00:10:56.800 So not that they're, you know, angry at it. 00:10:57.630 --> 00:11:01.980 When you start to look at it differently like through the body needs to 00:11:01.980 --> 00:11:03.860 learn about the environment and. 00:11:04.640 --> 00:11:08.130 It's not just a matter of getting balance, it's, it's reading 00:11:08.140 --> 00:11:10.720 the world through physical. 00:11:11.660 --> 00:11:13.950 And that helps your brain get wired too. 00:11:14.260 --> 00:11:16.420 And until all those things integrate. 00:11:16.780 --> 00:11:21.040 Um, you know, a child is going to suffer, and the same, the dog has, 00:11:21.300 --> 00:11:24.420 you know, has to mature and get through the, that's why puppies do 00:11:24.420 --> 00:11:25.950 those incredible cute antics, right? 00:11:25.960 --> 00:11:28.970 Because they're, they're experimenting, they're throwing themselves around, 00:11:28.970 --> 00:11:33.610 they don't have the fine motor skills yet, they don't have the whole 00:11:33.880 --> 00:11:37.020 brain body connection super strong. 00:11:37.390 --> 00:11:43.465 And, um, so, Just starting to appreciate, for example, with Hazel, 00:11:43.465 --> 00:11:47.915 the little dog I was dealing with, leashing her was a real issue. 00:11:47.915 --> 00:11:51.575 And I realized that, you know, if I took it from her 00:11:51.835 --> 00:11:54.115 perspective, How would that feel? 00:11:54.505 --> 00:11:56.135 First off, putting the thing around the neck. 00:11:56.135 --> 00:12:00.605 Second, that, that leash would hit her back at unpredictable times, right? 00:12:00.605 --> 00:12:05.645 Cause it's rubbed, you know, you know how it drapes on a dog and a 00:12:05.645 --> 00:12:07.325 grown dog begins to get used to it. 00:12:07.325 --> 00:12:11.785 They sort of anticipate it, but a little puppy who's under age and 00:12:11.785 --> 00:12:16.985 starting to have all her neurons firing, that could be scary. 00:12:16.995 --> 00:12:18.835 That could actually feel uncomfortable. 00:12:18.835 --> 00:12:21.345 That could trigger some of those sensory reactions that 00:12:21.345 --> 00:12:22.535 your friend was talking about. 00:12:23.485 --> 00:12:25.885 Anke: Yeah, that makes, that makes so much sense. 00:12:26.125 --> 00:12:29.915 And I, I sometimes, do you think, because it just reminds me of the, 00:12:29.935 --> 00:12:34.495 uh, actually dog of a friend of mine who was kind of same age as this one. 00:12:34.765 --> 00:12:39.445 And she was also found as like a, like, you know, next to nothing, you know, 00:12:39.455 --> 00:12:41.595 full of, full of ticks and whatever. 00:12:41.625 --> 00:12:47.285 And I don't know, maybe four weeks, like way too young to be away from, from her 00:12:47.285 --> 00:12:49.035 mother and, and little mates, right? 00:12:49.275 --> 00:12:50.305 And that dog. 00:12:50.635 --> 00:12:57.365 Always had trouble throughout her whole life, like, relating to other dogs. 00:12:57.795 --> 00:13:00.945 You know, I was looking after her for a couple of days once, and I'm walking 00:13:00.945 --> 00:13:04.845 around with her, and there was this other dog coming along, like, oh, bouncy 00:13:04.845 --> 00:13:08.055 and playful, and she was, like, scared. 00:13:08.055 --> 00:13:09.135 She's hiding behind me. 00:13:09.865 --> 00:13:14.235 You know, and I'm like, you can't read that dog. 00:13:14.625 --> 00:13:18.445 Like, you can't tell because the other dog was bigger, you know, but 00:13:18.445 --> 00:13:20.605 like, so goofy, so playful, right? 00:13:20.605 --> 00:13:23.695 Like, there was nothing aggressive or threatening in 00:13:23.695 --> 00:13:25.205 that other dog's body language. 00:13:25.515 --> 00:13:27.435 But I'm like, isn't that interesting? 00:13:27.435 --> 00:13:28.600 She didn't read that. 00:13:29.330 --> 00:13:32.510 You know, and then there'd be other situations where there were, like, big 00:13:32.520 --> 00:13:35.820 threatening, and then she walks up to them, like, it's like, you don't know 00:13:35.820 --> 00:13:40.370 how, you don't know how to speak dog, because nobody taught you, taught you, I 00:13:40.380 --> 00:13:45.080 think, you know, it's quite hard when you get a puppy like that young, to almost, 00:13:46.450 --> 00:13:49.930 you start below zero, because all the stuff that normally the mother and the 00:13:49.930 --> 00:13:53.590 littermates would sort of teach them in that natural way, they don't have that. 00:13:54.100 --> 00:13:57.560 Wendy: Right, and I've heard similar stories, um, some people write about. 00:13:58.105 --> 00:14:01.945 Uh, a dog that's a singleton, you know, has no litter mates, has, 00:14:02.155 --> 00:14:03.885 can have some of those issues too. 00:14:04.215 --> 00:14:07.715 Whereas the mother may, you know, instruct them a little, but they don't 00:14:07.715 --> 00:14:13.825 have that real heavy duty experience of learning that's so valuable. 00:14:13.875 --> 00:14:16.005 Um, they don't learn how to be a dog. 00:14:17.595 --> 00:14:20.315 Anke: Yeah, that's, that's, that's so true. 00:14:20.355 --> 00:14:25.115 And actually my last one, my big white one, she was, she grew up in a like 00:14:25.115 --> 00:14:29.105 a, in a Spanish farm and there were horses and there were another dog with 00:14:29.115 --> 00:14:32.355 other puppies, like her own siblings. 00:14:32.355 --> 00:14:35.725 And there were like cats and chickens and horses and the whole, 00:14:35.955 --> 00:14:38.525 and she is the savviest thing ever. 00:14:38.825 --> 00:14:41.255 You know, and then my other dog taught her a lot. 00:14:41.255 --> 00:14:44.715 Like, so she is the, you know, like, well, that was the easiest puppy to 00:14:44.715 --> 00:14:46.895 raise ever because she had all that. 00:14:47.155 --> 00:14:50.625 And it makes such a big difference, you know, when they know how to. 00:14:51.070 --> 00:14:52.530 Read their environment. 00:14:54.240 --> 00:14:55.730 So how long do you think? 00:14:58.070 --> 00:15:01.650 So once you have that insight, like, oh, actually I need 00:15:01.650 --> 00:15:03.650 to come at this differently. 00:15:03.910 --> 00:15:06.200 What were sort of, what were the phases? 00:15:06.220 --> 00:15:11.050 Or was it kind of smooth sailing from then onwards or was it, you know, like, 00:15:11.050 --> 00:15:13.620 what were kind of the stages for her to. 00:15:13.620 --> 00:15:15.980 Right. 00:15:16.160 --> 00:15:19.040 Wendy: Um, well, I have to say that I was learning too, right? 00:15:19.040 --> 00:15:22.850 So, uh, that first aha moment was very helpful and it got me 00:15:22.850 --> 00:15:24.280 started in the right direction. 00:15:24.280 --> 00:15:30.670 And, um, I started to use the parenting idea sort of in the back 00:15:30.670 --> 00:15:35.570 of my head, but I still looked at dog, you know, uh, information. 00:15:36.810 --> 00:15:40.400 And I would not say it was super smooth sailing because she grew to be a lot 00:15:40.410 --> 00:15:44.050 bigger than I ever expected, or we hoped. 00:15:44.050 --> 00:15:49.820 We thought we'd get maybe 20, 30 pounds, right? 00:15:50.860 --> 00:15:52.910 But we got 65 pounds. 00:15:52.910 --> 00:16:00.210 And so there were elements of that that did not go so smoothly. 00:16:01.240 --> 00:16:02.890 And I had to keep learning. 00:16:02.930 --> 00:16:08.140 And what I ended up, you know, in hindsight, I could see more clearly. 00:16:08.450 --> 00:16:13.770 some of the opportunities that I missed, um, and I try to share some 00:16:13.770 --> 00:16:21.430 of that in the book of to help people maybe avoid some of the challenges 00:16:21.820 --> 00:16:24.610 that, that I face because, um, 00:16:27.290 --> 00:16:34.130 you know, when a dog gets bigger and stronger, um, and, um, how do you 00:16:34.130 --> 00:16:36.910 keep that relationship cooperative? 00:16:37.410 --> 00:16:39.420 Um, and, and sometimes 00:16:41.695 --> 00:16:45.695 And sometimes even they want to cooperate, but nature kicks in, right? 00:16:45.975 --> 00:16:50.085 Uh, I can't always compete with the squirrel that just raced across in 00:16:50.085 --> 00:16:51.915 front of her and ran up the tree. 00:16:52.185 --> 00:16:55.125 Uh, and in her case, that was super exciting. 00:16:55.365 --> 00:16:58.765 Uh, and then I got carried away. 00:16:59.025 --> 00:17:00.015 Uh, so, 00:17:02.265 --> 00:17:05.115 and, you know, nearly dislocated my shoulder because I was not 00:17:05.115 --> 00:17:06.805 using the right equipment. 00:17:07.600 --> 00:17:08.910 for that situation. 00:17:08.910 --> 00:17:13.950 So there, um, you know, I, I would hesitate to advise people 00:17:13.950 --> 00:17:17.090 to follow me exactly in my footsteps because it was a learning 00:17:17.870 --> 00:17:17.930 Anke: process. 00:17:20.170 --> 00:17:24.620 What, what, what, what are some, you know, like, tips you would give them to avoid? 00:17:25.005 --> 00:17:26.255 Pitfalls to the Fallen End. 00:17:26.265 --> 00:17:27.545 Do you want to mention just one? 00:17:27.995 --> 00:17:33.715 Wendy: Yeah, well, actually, what I ended up doing is I ended up sort of looking 00:17:33.715 --> 00:17:39.115 at the whole universe of interventions that the parenting people used, and then 00:17:39.115 --> 00:17:42.195 I mapped them to dog kind of things. 00:17:42.825 --> 00:17:46.965 And it helped me come up with a, like a big framework. 00:17:47.215 --> 00:17:53.655 And I use the word hearts, H E A R T S, as a simple way for me to remember them. 00:17:53.655 --> 00:17:56.985 And it kind of represents all the different things 00:17:56.985 --> 00:17:58.125 that you want to think about. 00:17:58.955 --> 00:18:03.225 H is for heal the body, for obvious reasons, you got to get rid of the worms 00:18:03.225 --> 00:18:08.805 or whatever the problems are, you know, and they might be invisible to us too. 00:18:08.815 --> 00:18:13.175 It could be allergies and food issues, but anyway, that's the baseline. 00:18:13.185 --> 00:18:14.795 So you start with H, heal the body. 00:18:15.335 --> 00:18:18.565 E is for enrichment and optimizing the brain. 00:18:20.295 --> 00:18:25.705 You know, that sensory input and movement are so important, uh, for well being. 00:18:26.205 --> 00:18:31.635 Then you have A, for appropriate environments with felt safety, because 00:18:31.685 --> 00:18:37.375 that feeling of safety lets them rest and digest and gives well being and 00:18:37.375 --> 00:18:42.855 restores the body, uh, and the brain and emotional baseline and everything. 00:18:43.365 --> 00:18:47.055 Um, R is for respectful and secure relationships. 00:18:48.875 --> 00:18:51.905 And that's kind of basic, that's sort of the golden rule, right? 00:18:51.945 --> 00:18:55.575 You do unto others, you treat people nicely, you want them to treat you with 00:18:55.605 --> 00:18:59.175 respect, you treat them with respect, and you can work that out with your dog too, 00:18:59.185 --> 00:19:01.265 whatever that means in your household. 00:19:02.275 --> 00:19:06.265 Tea is teaching sensitively and positively, because we know positive 00:19:06.265 --> 00:19:12.375 reinforcement handled sensitively, you know, not cookie cutter positive 00:19:12.375 --> 00:19:14.925 reinforcement, but handled sensitively and 00:19:17.375 --> 00:19:20.015 tailored to your animal and their needs. 00:19:20.635 --> 00:19:24.085 And then the last thing is the S is Support the Individual because they might 00:19:24.085 --> 00:19:28.185 be young, they might be old, they might be sick, they might have this, or they 00:19:28.185 --> 00:19:36.585 might have a breed in them that just takes over sometimes and it's a very 00:19:36.685 --> 00:19:38.665 natural need and we have to honor those. 00:19:38.725 --> 00:19:39.975 It's like their superpower. 00:19:40.295 --> 00:19:40.675 So. 00:19:41.295 --> 00:19:44.765 That's, I mean, there's so much there, that's why I use the hearts, because I'm 00:19:44.845 --> 00:19:50.205 just trying to find a way to put it all in, uh, keep it front of mind, so when we 00:19:50.205 --> 00:19:57.200 look at a dog that we're struggling with, we can ask ourselves, where in this You 00:19:57.200 --> 00:20:03.120 know, a framework is their opportunity to improve for them, for welfare, for 00:20:03.120 --> 00:20:05.230 them, for us, to get the right mix. 00:20:05.760 --> 00:20:06.480 Anke: Oh, I love that. 00:20:06.510 --> 00:20:06.930 I love that. 00:20:07.260 --> 00:20:11.170 And it does make, actually, I saw, like, I saw this meme recently on Instagram. 00:20:11.170 --> 00:20:15.520 We kind of see it quite a bit where, where they say, well, The things that, the very 00:20:15.520 --> 00:20:20.600 same qualities that dogs have been bred for for centuries are now, you know, now 00:20:20.600 --> 00:20:25.930 we take them into city apartments and now that same behavior is, is problem 00:20:25.930 --> 00:20:29.940 behavior, you know, like you're border collie, like you're herding dog nipping 00:20:29.940 --> 00:20:35.090 your ankles, your, your terrier digging up the, you know, so it's like all the stuff 00:20:35.110 --> 00:20:36.910 and it's like, oh, isn't that so true? 00:20:37.020 --> 00:20:41.310 You know, and I love that you're saying like, we have to honor what, you know, You 00:20:41.310 --> 00:20:46.530 know, what's in their nature and make sure you give them appropriate outlets for it. 00:20:46.580 --> 00:20:47.380 Yeah, I love that. 00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:48.600 Right, so 00:20:48.600 --> 00:20:52.750 Wendy: much problem falls away if we can anticipate that proactively. 00:20:53.130 --> 00:20:56.835 Uh, just easier for For people, easier for the dogs. 00:20:56.845 --> 00:20:57.955 It's just a win win. 00:20:59.595 --> 00:21:02.605 Anke: And even, like, even the whole thing of looking at it through the lens 00:21:02.635 --> 00:21:06.365 of the parent, right, because I sometimes get this, like, you know, like, I don't 00:21:06.365 --> 00:21:09.455 know, my parents will come and say, my dad will go, like, wait, you know, well, 00:21:09.455 --> 00:21:13.765 you need to look, sit, you know, like, oh, well, dog shouldn't go there or whatever. 00:21:13.815 --> 00:21:18.540 And I'm like, Why do you leave the rubbish bin open on the floor then? 00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:19.120 Right? 00:21:19.220 --> 00:21:20.790 Would you do that to a toddler? 00:21:20.790 --> 00:21:22.010 And that's always the thing. 00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:25.480 You know, it's like, would you set up a toddler for failure like that? 00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:30.650 Like, no, you would like, no, I shouldn't have to put the rubbish bin. 00:21:30.650 --> 00:21:33.280 I want to put the rubbish bin where I want and the dog just 00:21:33.280 --> 00:21:34.430 needs to adjust kind of thing. 00:21:34.430 --> 00:21:38.360 You know, and I'm thinking, well, If I was to, like, would I do that to a toddler? 00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:42.180 Like, would I say, well, you know, there's a, there's, there's a, 00:21:42.180 --> 00:21:44.570 there's a socket, electricity, right? 00:21:44.570 --> 00:21:46.170 Well, the kid just needs to learn. 00:21:47.160 --> 00:21:48.990 No, you know, like you, you protect it. 00:21:49.030 --> 00:21:52.170 You make sure you set up your child for success. 00:21:52.200 --> 00:21:56.860 And I would think if you do take that same attitude, like set your dog up for 00:21:56.860 --> 00:22:01.680 success and don't put him in situations where they, you know, likely to fail, I 00:22:01.680 --> 00:22:04.740 think you're already a huge step ahead. 00:22:05.210 --> 00:22:07.360 Wendy: That's a, that's a brilliant example. 00:22:07.790 --> 00:22:13.230 It's absolutely perfect because once you, once you start to see them as a toddler 00:22:13.320 --> 00:22:18.410 level of, you know, it helps you make different choices and, and, and don't 00:22:18.410 --> 00:22:20.020 resent them for being who they are. 00:22:20.020 --> 00:22:25.620 And you can sort of appreciate it. 00:22:26.050 --> 00:22:28.140 And that's a great, great way to frame it. 00:22:28.570 --> 00:22:28.900 Anke: Yeah. 00:22:29.080 --> 00:22:30.800 And it takes the guilt away as well. 00:22:30.810 --> 00:22:34.770 Like, you know, when that whole parenting approach, that whole like, oh, my dog 00:22:34.770 --> 00:22:38.840 should be behaving and why, you know, yeah, I just, just love this so much. 00:22:39.040 --> 00:22:42.000 So where can people, you know, get the book, get in touch with 00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:44.730 you, tell them where to find you? 00:22:45.130 --> 00:22:45.480 Wendy: Yeah. 00:22:45.610 --> 00:22:47.490 Um, you're welcome to find me at wendylsunshine. 00:22:48.780 --> 00:22:49.130 com. 00:22:49.130 --> 00:22:50.030 That's my website. 00:22:50.030 --> 00:22:54.980 And the book is available from Amazon and Barnes and Noble and, 00:22:55.715 --> 00:22:57.505 Simon Schuster is the distributor. 00:22:57.505 --> 00:22:59.455 It's, it's easily available. 00:22:59.465 --> 00:23:05.455 That's Tender Paws, P A W S, and I liked it because it has a double meaning too. 00:23:05.455 --> 00:23:07.905 It's like paws, like, let's take a break. 00:23:08.325 --> 00:23:10.035 Let's just slow down. 00:23:10.485 --> 00:23:10.925 Anke: I love it. 00:23:11.055 --> 00:23:13.275 It's so it sounds so gentle like that. 00:23:13.275 --> 00:23:14.065 I just love the name. 00:23:14.105 --> 00:23:18.675 Yeah, it's beautiful and it really, I think it reflects what 00:23:18.675 --> 00:23:21.405 what you're all about and what What you're communicating there. 00:23:21.405 --> 00:23:22.525 So yeah, thank you. 00:23:22.805 --> 00:23:23.965 Thanks so much for coming. 00:23:23.975 --> 00:23:25.395 This was absolutely delightful. 00:23:25.755 --> 00:23:29.585 And uh, yes, get, get the book because I know, I know what it's 00:23:29.585 --> 00:23:33.515 like when everybody else's dog seems to have it together, except yours. 00:23:34.025 --> 00:23:35.155 I know what that feels like. 00:23:35.415 --> 00:23:36.065 Isn't fun. 00:23:36.095 --> 00:23:42.155 And, and I think looking at it through that lens of taking that role of parent 00:23:42.185 --> 00:23:43.685 makes all the difference in the world. 00:23:43.685 --> 00:23:46.345 So yeah, definitely do yourself a favor, check out the book 00:23:46.395 --> 00:23:48.175 and get in touch with Wendy. 00:23:49.955 --> 00:23:50.545 So much. 00:23:52.735 --> 00:23:53.965 Thanks so much for listening. 00:23:54.485 --> 00:23:58.785 If you enjoyed the episode, don't forget to subscribe, and leave a review so 00:23:58.885 --> 00:24:00.665 other dog lovers can find the show. 00:24:01.455 --> 00:24:04.945 If you haven't already, head over to soul touched by dogs. 00:24:05.375 --> 00:24:10.945 com and sign up for weekly doggy cuteness tips, recommendations, and personal 00:24:11.045 --> 00:24:13.415 stories to warm your dog loving heart. 00:24:13.416 --> 00:24:17.145 And if you know a pawsome human you think I should interview, 00:24:17.565 --> 00:24:18.705 I'd love an introduction. 00:24:19.185 --> 00:24:21.015 Email me at Anke. 00:24:21.285 --> 00:24:25.520 That's A N k E at Soul touched by dogs.com.