Speaker 1: Welcome back to beardless dickless more. I'm Kevin Smith and
Speaker 1: Smith Harley just played her music for me. You recorded
Speaker 1: two songs excellent ship. So even walk Walkie's crying about it, she's.
Speaker 2: Like them song Semo, who reminded me of the cure pictures.
Speaker 3: Of you, pictures of Lucky.
Speaker 1: Hates pictures of you because I always makes her cry.
Speaker 2: Stup it. Walky just will jump back to your music.
Speaker 2: But Wacky as somebody who takes walking out in public
Speaker 2: a lot in the dog park walk he.
Speaker 1: Likes other dogs, other big dogs. She likes to sniffing
Speaker 1: and stuff, and she's okay with them sniffing her.
Speaker 2: And they're all boys.
Speaker 3: So what are you saying?
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, like fucking Wacky's got it going.
Speaker 3: Uh what he's stunning?
Speaker 2: Is she really in dog world?
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I love Walki for so many reasons,
Speaker 1: but like in dog world, she's stick.
Speaker 2: With two c's.
Speaker 3: Well we knew that, and.
Speaker 2: It makes sense right, like fucking you would want you
Speaker 2: don't want a little dog, Like if you're a boy dog,
Speaker 2: you're looking for a dog that you can hold on.
Speaker 3: That.
Speaker 2: Well, walk is like, bro, how do you think Birdie
Speaker 2: got here. That's my point. I think Walkie is like,
Speaker 2: you know, I.
Speaker 1: Think she likes the the attention, well, the male attention,
Speaker 1: because she don't run from the she throws it out.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh yeah, I get a sniff. She's like
Speaker 2: to get a get a whiff of what you'll never
Speaker 2: get whoa wucky? But she anyway back to.
Speaker 1: Your You're like, boy, got real distracted fast talking about
Speaker 1: the dog laid.
Speaker 4: Yeah, man, it was, uh, it was.
Speaker 1: It's always fascinating to me that you can do something
Speaker 1: I can't do that. I could never get my head
Speaker 1: around for my whole fucking life, Like how does somebody
Speaker 1: just make music? Like like I remember asking Atlantis Moore
Speaker 1: said what like what comes first? The words were like
Speaker 1: the music And she's like, well, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1: They both happen the same time. It's like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: Like something has to happen first. Is it like no, no,
Speaker 1: and then you put words to that or is it
Speaker 1: vice versa? And she's like she's like it's tough to explain.
Speaker 1: It just happens. Like sometimes you're just sitting there playing
Speaker 1: and you're like.
Speaker 3: How to make a song.
Speaker 1: She might know a thing, so when like, you do
Speaker 1: a thing that I'm like, wow, that's fucked up. But
Speaker 1: it's a thing not like accounting, Like if you did accounting.
Speaker 2: I'd also be like, wow, that's fucked up. She knew
Speaker 2: how to do numbers.
Speaker 4: I didn't raise it with numbers. How she do that.
Speaker 3: Move?
Speaker 4: But how we get them numbers? Numbers one plus one?
Speaker 2: As fun?
Speaker 4: Yes, smart as cat go to hell car.
Speaker 1: But music is something I've heard my entire life, and
Speaker 1: it's always been like, you know, a fucking It's called
Speaker 1: the soundtrack of my life obviously, but it's always been
Speaker 1: a mystery too because it's something I can't do, so
Speaker 1: like listening to some people are do things and some
Speaker 1: people don't ship. So it's impressive to me where I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: she knows how to do a fucking thing that like
Speaker 1: I don't know how to do, and but have always
Speaker 1: admired and stuff, and you got some cool hooky ship.
Speaker 2: In there thanks where it's like it makes you remember
Speaker 2: the beat, remember the rhythm, remember the fucking lyrics, even
Speaker 2: good ship.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna ask you, like I asked helenis what
Speaker 1: comes first words or the music?
Speaker 3: Do you mean like the instruments or the vocal.
Speaker 2: Melody, Now, what's that? What's the vocal?
Speaker 3: Vocal melody is like the way that the words sound,
Speaker 3: the melody of the words.
Speaker 2: Anything, what's something has to come first?
Speaker 3: Usually, yeah, Usually Nick and or Luke will come come
Speaker 3: to the table with instruments of some kind of some
Speaker 3: variety in combination, and then I'll write a vocal melody
Speaker 3: and then I'll either write lyrics for it or take
Speaker 3: lyrics that I've just written, like more like poetry. How
Speaker 3: someone would sit down and write poetry?
Speaker 1: I guess, so you'll sit down and write a bunch
Speaker 1: of words. They don't have to rhyme, They don't.
Speaker 2: They don't have to generally, do they?
Speaker 4: Yea?
Speaker 3: They do?
Speaker 2: How complicated do you like getting in the rhyme scheme?
Speaker 3: I spend a lot of time on rappad dot com.
Speaker 3: Rap pad dot com?
Speaker 2: Is that like a rhyming dictionary? And fuckers have it
Speaker 2: so easy? Man? When we were children, we had to
Speaker 2: be like, am I do that?
Speaker 3: But then after that for the ones, for the more complicated.
Speaker 1: Ones, it is, uh, it's it's it's some good ship.
Speaker 1: I'm not just saying that because I'm like.
Speaker 2: She's my fucking kid.
Speaker 1: Like, I could see people listening to that. But I
Speaker 1: did ask, like Harley, what's the genre? And I was like,
Speaker 1: is this bubblegum pop? Because that's what she used to
Speaker 1: be back in the day punk.
Speaker 3: That was the term that I made up.
Speaker 2: But this is clearly not There's nothing bubblegum about this music.
Speaker 2: This is music where you're.
Speaker 4: Just like life sucks is well. The one song is
Speaker 4: the one.
Speaker 2: Song is very like it's picture.
Speaker 1: It's not pictures you, meaning it sounds like it, but
Speaker 1: it's like pictures of you.
Speaker 4: If I was.
Speaker 2: If I know fire, if I was.
Speaker 1: An actor, and you know actors, like they're like, you
Speaker 1: gotta do a cry scene and ship and I had
Speaker 1: to get emotional. You know. Some people are like I
Speaker 1: fucking think about like this horrible thing that happened. I
Speaker 1: would just fucking play pictures of you.
Speaker 2: Fucking song is so sad.
Speaker 3: It's so sad.
Speaker 4: And it just like it doesn't let it.
Speaker 3: Like many of the Cure songs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he really leans into it and ship, Like I
Speaker 1: know some people give me ship for like Clerk's three,
Speaker 1: they were like, did you have to go so sad?
Speaker 4: At the end?
Speaker 2: I did a little Robert Smith more than.
Speaker 3: Kevin Smith Robert Smith do.
Speaker 2: There is nothing in the world I haven't wanted more.
Speaker 2: I mean it's so like good.
Speaker 4: I like that.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna keep going.
Speaker 3: It was really good though.
Speaker 1: If look, if you if you you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to tell you your business and ship, but if
Speaker 1: you will fucking.
Speaker 4: Allow me I and.
Speaker 2: You know to treat this fucking seriously. I think I
Speaker 2: have a song for you to record.
Speaker 3: You have a song for me to You've.
Speaker 2: Recorded two songs. You're gonna go back and.
Speaker 3: Do more, right, that's yeah, Yes, we'll.
Speaker 2: Still be more, even as an EP it needs a
Speaker 2: few more.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're going. We're doing more.
Speaker 2: I have a song that you need to Oh.
Speaker 3: You've already I think you no.
Speaker 2: No, yeah, last show, I had a song pitch for
Speaker 2: you too.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I see This.
Speaker 2: One though, comes from a one of our faithful listeners.
Speaker 5: How you doing. I just want to let you know.
Speaker 5: I want you to play this for Harley when you're
Speaker 5: doing a podcast together, to tell her it's an old
Speaker 5: family song from grandma, her great grandma. Okay, I don't
Speaker 5: want her, you can have her. She's too fat for me.
Speaker 5: She's too fat for me. She's too fat for me.
Speaker 5: I don't want her, you can have her. She's too
Speaker 5: fat for me. That's the end of the song.
Speaker 3: I like that, loved it. I mean a little judgmental
Speaker 3: of she.
Speaker 2: Is gunning for your Spotify fucking end of the year.
Speaker 2: Oh god, Yes, that was a song from childhood, a
Speaker 2: song that whose song is that?
Speaker 4: This is real song?
Speaker 2: Bobby Vinton's name that probably for me you're unfamiliar with.
Speaker 1: If you ever saw Good Fellows, remember they go through
Speaker 1: the club and to get it, they're going to see
Speaker 1: Bobby Vinton at the whole.
Speaker 3: Club and he made that song.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is a polka song. I don't want her,
Speaker 2: you can have her, She's too fat for me, little
Speaker 2: fucking rude bro.
Speaker 1: It was like the fifties or sixties and ship. But
Speaker 1: I remember my grandmother would sing.
Speaker 2: It, really she would.
Speaker 3: She would like, it's pretty couchy.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. Could that song work today?
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go ahead and say no.
Speaker 2: Even with a polka beat. I mean, hey, that's.
Speaker 4: The other thing.
Speaker 1: Look, sometimes a good idea is a good idea, and
Speaker 1: maybe it comes in different way, shapes or forms. I'm
Speaker 1: pitching you know, that was more of a joke, but like,
Speaker 1: have you thought about like I know you're like, I
Speaker 1: asked Charlie, what is this is a bubble gumpunk?
Speaker 2: She said no, you said it's grunge. You know what there?
Speaker 2: You know what might fucking catch on? It's poka.
Speaker 1: Nobody is dropping a fire poka track. So you get
Speaker 1: Nick and Luke to do a sad version of the
Speaker 1: poka and then you get in there and you're.
Speaker 2: Like, I know you can she's too fat? Me bro,
Speaker 2: you would you would be?
Speaker 1: Do you want it's important to be huge in your
Speaker 1: home country? Or like would you like to burn up
Speaker 1: the charts in Poland?
Speaker 2: I will take it, you know what I'm saying, Like.
Speaker 1: You could be the biggest fucking band in Poland rocking
Speaker 1: a polka, a sad poka, a grunge poka.
Speaker 2: Never mind is fine. Grunge polka is where it's gonna be.
Speaker 3: Po sounds like a fucking fire car.
Speaker 1: You can ing, she's too fa.
Speaker 2: Me ing, I know these things in the monkey place, simple.
Speaker 3: The monkey instrument. Did you have seen the trailer for
Speaker 3: that horror movie.
Speaker 2: Twenty eight years later?
Speaker 3: Is that what the one with the monkeys about? Or
Speaker 3: there's like a killer version of that monkey. There's there's
Speaker 3: a movie coming out coming out yeah about like a.
Speaker 1: Isn't called Monkey Shines, because there is a movie when
Speaker 1: we were a kid called Monkey Shines that used one
Speaker 1: of those.
Speaker 2: In the post.
Speaker 3: Really, I don't think it is.
Speaker 1: I saw in Justin Long's Instagram thread yesterday he put
Speaker 1: up like a you know, fucking hey, I got a job,
Speaker 1: like you know, a variety.
Speaker 2: Saying that he's doing him.
Speaker 1: Then he says his recent wife, So I guess him
Speaker 1: Kate got married Kate Boswor I've known they I mean,
Speaker 1: listen to me, I've known they've been together for a.
Speaker 4: While, but they've been together for a minute.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think they just finally made it official. And
Speaker 2: I read that in his Instagram, So I don't think
Speaker 2: I'm revealing tales.
Speaker 4: That was cool.
Speaker 2: Him and her are doing a horror movie, which is
Speaker 2: like the third in a row that they get to
Speaker 2: do together. Not in a row, but they're they're.
Speaker 1: Doing like He's like, he would talk to me about
Speaker 1: like I might just open like me and Kate might
Speaker 1: just open a fucking horror label, studio whatever production company.
Speaker 1: He's like, because that's like he's like, we wind up
Speaker 1: doing so many. So the movie that they're doing together
Speaker 1: is called Coyotes.
Speaker 2: Okay, do you guess what it's about?
Speaker 3: Coyotes? Killer coyotes?
Speaker 2: What kind?
Speaker 1: Because you know we live in California, there are different
Speaker 1: kinds of coyotes. There's how and then there's the I'll
Speaker 1: get you across the Border.
Speaker 2: Oh to which one is it?
Speaker 3: The latter?
Speaker 1: Justin Long versus killer coyotes? Justin Long, Kate Osworth versus
Speaker 1: killer coyotes?
Speaker 3: Oh shit? Okay?
Speaker 1: Or maybe one that could be fire coyote, but it
Speaker 1: would seem.
Speaker 3: To be more than another animal horror film for mister Long.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. That's true, at least he doesn't.
Speaker 1: It's not him dressed up in a coyote skin. It's
Speaker 1: him fighting the coyote rasling a coyote to.
Speaker 2: The ground ship.
Speaker 4: Killer one man, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: You know, fucking look loving all animals until it's you
Speaker 1: verse them, right. That's like one of the giants, and
Speaker 1: it's the survival of the fittest.
Speaker 3: Isn't there There's like a bigfoot, but it's like a
Speaker 3: coyote and it's not as big, but it's it can stand.
Speaker 2: Up Direwolf, Direolf.
Speaker 3: I think it was called like dog man Wolf. It's
Speaker 3: like an.
Speaker 2: Urban legend, like the Mothman.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe I just watched. I was just watching the
Speaker 3: History channel at a hotel and something you saw that.
Speaker 1: I've been spending a lot of time on YouTube watching.
Speaker 1: This is my fucking new obsession. Ring door cam videos.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Really yeah, like the fifteen creepiest and it's like a
Speaker 2: series fifteen creepy. Oh.
Speaker 3: I thought you meant like sweet heartfelt moments captured on ring.
Speaker 2: None of these are fucking sweeter heartfelt. They're horrifying. God, really,
Speaker 2: turn on your alarm system.
Speaker 1: I immediately turned to your mother one night and I
Speaker 1: was like, harlet she uses her alarm system, right, She's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think she does.
Speaker 2: Turn I was like, no, let's not think. Let's make sure.
Speaker 4: Wow, what a horrible.
Speaker 2: Fucking world it is.
Speaker 1: It's a series of videos of like, you know, she
Speaker 1: and her baby in her arms, and then the voiceover
Speaker 1: makes it even fucking worse. And they're all in black
Speaker 1: and white because they're all at nighttime, right, so they're
Speaker 1: going into it in for red, so creepy people look
Speaker 1: even creepier. So there's this lady and she's walking in
Speaker 1: with her fucking kid, and you see deep in the
Speaker 1: background like a dude walking.
Speaker 2: Like just in the street and shit.
Speaker 1: But then when she hooks up a trail like a
Speaker 1: path to her front door, and then you see her
Speaker 1: at the door fiddling with her keys, all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you see that dude hook up and he goes down
Speaker 1: the same driveway she went down, and then he disappears
Speaker 1: for a second, and then as he's coming around as
Speaker 1: she's opening the door, he's whipping around the fucking garage
Speaker 1: pulling a mask over his fucking face. She don't even
Speaker 1: realize it, just closed the door. He gets to it
Speaker 1: too late and starts fucking trying at the door today,
Speaker 1: and then she's like, get the fuck out of here,
Speaker 1: and he goes fucking running and takes his mask off.
Speaker 2: It's that over and over.
Speaker 1: It's like a lady who like shows up with a
Speaker 1: delivery of his door dash but it's like one thirty
Speaker 1: in the morning, and she's like on the door on
Speaker 1: the cam, like looking at her phone and trying to
Speaker 1: look at the house to make sure it's the right address,
Speaker 1: and then presses it again.
Speaker 2: I Meanwhile, the person runs the house is like fucking
Speaker 2: dead asleep and shit.
Speaker 1: So they finally fucking get up and check their phone
Speaker 1: and they look at the front door and they see
Speaker 1: this person with a door dash delivery, but they don't
Speaker 1: know door dash, and so the other camera lights up
Speaker 1: the back door and she hits that and sees four
Speaker 1: people running from the back door to the wall and
Speaker 1: running over it.
Speaker 2: Like they were trying to get in. The distraction was
Speaker 2: up here, they were back here. There's another one where
Speaker 2: a guy answers the door and a guy's like, I've
Speaker 2: got a delivery, and he looks like he's wearing just
Speaker 2: because he's got a lit vest, like you assume he's
Speaker 2: Amazon or whatever. He's got this package and shit, and
Speaker 2: he's holding out for the guy on the camera and stuff,
Speaker 2: and the guy's like you could leave it. He's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I signed for it.
Speaker 1: And the guy opens the door and he shows it
Speaker 1: to him and he's like okay.
Speaker 2: He's like, I just got to a picture, gives it
Speaker 2: to the dude the hold and.
Speaker 1: He goes take a picture and then shoot three dudes
Speaker 1: wearing fucking masks in their hoods up come whipping around
Speaker 1: the corner pushing into the fucking house, and all you
Speaker 1: hear is screaming.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, har fun, this is your latest obsession.
Speaker 1: This is my creepypasta, where I'm just like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: And then I told your mom that and she was like,
Speaker 1: that's not creepypasta.
Speaker 2: I was like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: And she said, creepypasta is like, you know, made up
Speaker 1: our stories and like we just lend your band comes from.
Speaker 2: I was like, listen murder podcast pro.
Speaker 1: Creepy Pasta has also become something of a descriptor for
Speaker 1: just you know, like band aid, you know is a
Speaker 1: brand name for adhesive strip and it just became the
Speaker 1: fucking colloquial name. Creepy pasta is also just used to
Speaker 1: be like that's a kid. Oh I feel all creepy
Speaker 1: pasta and shit. But she was pushing back as if
Speaker 1: she spends a lot of time on the internet. I'm like, bro,
Speaker 1: you're talking to mister Internet. Oh, like are you hearing?
Speaker 1: But then I remembered that, like I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't even know if that's true.
Speaker 2: I could be the only one who uses creepy pasta
Speaker 2: in that way.
Speaker 3: I personally just was going to go with it.
Speaker 1: So it could be that I'm it could be like
Speaker 1: I'm a creepy pasta story. There's one story man where
Speaker 1: motherfucker shows up at where is he?
Speaker 2: England? I think it is, or Japan or maybe yeah, Japan.
Speaker 1: So he shows up, you know, goes through passport control
Speaker 1: and he's got passport for a country don't exist, and
Speaker 1: they're like what is this and he's like, it's you know,
Speaker 1: Edebah and they're like, yeah, well what is Edba?
Speaker 2: And he goes, what are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: He's like, like Edeba, man, I come from Edeba. The
Speaker 1: capital is blocked and he starts spitting out these names,
Speaker 1: and these guys are like, show us on a map,
Speaker 1: and they pull up a map and he's looking for
Speaker 1: it and he's like, where is it? And his country
Speaker 1: is not there and he's got a passport with stamps
Speaker 1: from that country.
Speaker 3: So his country's who is?
Speaker 6: Who is?
Speaker 2: Look at you?
Speaker 1: You've lost the power of fucking speech because like a
Speaker 1: little alley like woo, you just take off, I just
Speaker 1: fly to the other side of the room.
Speaker 2: That's right. Who what the fuck? How? Why the fuck what?
Speaker 2: And they have to pull them because They're like, bro,
Speaker 2: that country doesn't.
Speaker 3: Exist, like he genuinely he's just.
Speaker 1: Traveled in from there. He's like, I don't know who
Speaker 1: you're fucking talking about. So they start running all the
Speaker 1: possible theories, one of which.
Speaker 2: Is, wait, this is real, yeah, One.
Speaker 1: Of which is this literally happened nineteen fifty five. One
Speaker 1: of which is the possibility that he came from an
Speaker 1: alternate dimension where that country exists and somehow in travel
Speaker 1: wound up in a completely different fucking dimension.
Speaker 3: Has anyone made a movie about this?
Speaker 2: No, because it solved itself.
Speaker 3: It solved itself.
Speaker 2: Now, remember all the details I laid out there.
Speaker 3: There's one this was at an airport.
Speaker 1: But one of the details that I laid out for
Speaker 1: you will help get you to a place of understanding.
Speaker 3: Let's see, Yeah, do it up?
Speaker 1: Sherlock worked a fucking worked those cocks sport.
Speaker 3: Stamps.
Speaker 2: No, but but you know all valid?
Speaker 3: Thanks? Is he mentally unwell?
Speaker 2: Great question?
Speaker 4: No is.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you this happened. Now, I'm telling you this happened.
Speaker 1: What is your first question to me when I say
Speaker 1: this happened?
Speaker 3: When there you go, oh, nineteen fifty one five?
Speaker 2: Regardless, this could never happen today unless this person was
Speaker 2: truly an interdimensional traveler, because you can easily fucking yeah.
Speaker 2: But back then it was.
Speaker 1: Just so fucked up that they were like, maybe it's
Speaker 1: fucking true. There's a hoax, he created a passport, he
Speaker 1: created fucking yeah.
Speaker 3: Well I was wondering that. But then you made it
Speaker 3: seem like, I don't know, maybe that's.
Speaker 1: What the internet does, and it's exciting because you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, oh my god, it pulls.
Speaker 2: You right the fuck end.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 2: So I've been watching a lot of a lot of that.
Speaker 1: Like you know, unsolved mysteries and shit like that. But
Speaker 1: the ring videos have been then there are other videos
Speaker 1: that are really disheartening of just like missing person videos,
Speaker 1: like this is the last known photo watching Jordan said
Speaker 1: the same thing.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I've tripped across one of them one
Speaker 2: night and I was like.
Speaker 3: Holy shit, it's just so it's so crazy.
Speaker 2: And like scary, Yeah, it's scary.
Speaker 4: It's nuts.
Speaker 1: Now I understand like, of course this is the fifteen creepiest,
Speaker 1: So naturally there's gonna be a lot of ringcam videos,
Speaker 1: but the way they're one after another, it makes you
Speaker 1: feel this is happening all the time everywhere, But it
Speaker 1: really isn't happening all the time everywhere, but when it
Speaker 1: does happen, no kidding, the home invasion ones are fucking terrifying,
Speaker 1: And like there was the ones that happened in the
Speaker 1: dead of night. There was one where this couple comes
Speaker 1: up to the door and the guys talking to them
Speaker 1: through the door, and then he opened the door and
Speaker 1: she's like, hey, our car broke down. Can we use
Speaker 1: your phone? You're the only one with the light on.
Speaker 1: And the guy's like, uh no, I'm sorry, and he
Speaker 1: closes the door, just as the other guy behind her
Speaker 1: pulls out a gun and rushes for the fucking door.
Speaker 1: And then that guy pounds on the door and he's
Speaker 1: like the dude on the other sides get the fuck
Speaker 1: out of here, and then they go run into the street. Now,
Speaker 1: you could go see Nosferatu well for fake fear, or
Speaker 1: you could literally fucking like and well, with all due respect,
Speaker 1: the Nosfaratu is a motion picture and I'm sure as
Speaker 1: well made and in front.
Speaker 2: Of ours is in it and shit like that. Robert
Speaker 2: Eggers is very respected director.
Speaker 1: But think about all the artifice and money that was
Speaker 1: spent and be like boo. Or you can go to
Speaker 1: fucking YouTube and just watch, just enter horrifying ring cam
Speaker 1: videos and you.
Speaker 2: Will fall down a rabbit hole of some of the
Speaker 2: scariest real life scares man like terror.
Speaker 3: I'm personally looking for more of a like monster scare.
Speaker 2: You get some of that too. I do a lot
Speaker 2: of alien video watching. Do you fuck? Yes, bro? They
Speaker 2: got the footage now to tic TACs that do weird things,
Speaker 2: especially with all this drone shit going on in New Jersey.
Speaker 3: For what do you think about the drones?
Speaker 1: I think the government is lying, honestly, And I'm not
Speaker 1: like a crazy like Queanon conspiracy theorist or something, but
Speaker 1: I think when they're like a lot of these are planes,
Speaker 1: like bullshit. I've seen this footage, yes, and it's like, then,
Speaker 1: I don't know what footage you all are looking at
Speaker 1: and saying a lot of these are planes.
Speaker 2: The footage that I'm seeing is not reading like planes.
Speaker 1: Like I've lived in an I wouldn't say I've lived
Speaker 1: in an airpath. But in New Jersey we get fucking
Speaker 1: Nork traffic. You know, all the time I driving on
Speaker 1: the Garden State Parkway or the turn bike I've seen
Speaker 1: flights coming.
Speaker 2: I know what a fucking plane.
Speaker 3: Looks like just in Jersey too. Were you looking?
Speaker 2: No, don't even crossed my mind.
Speaker 1: Really, this is like two weeks ago when the story
Speaker 1: started breaking the ship and I was there to do
Speaker 1: some events and what I might have made a joke
Speaker 1: on stage, I can't remember, but recently I was thinking,
Speaker 1: like me and Jay, I gotta go back and do
Speaker 1: a Jaane sound about thing to capitalize on this drone shit, like,
Speaker 1: guess who's doing it? Just cut to a shot of us. See,
Speaker 1: I guess we could do that from here.
Speaker 4: But regardless, I think it's.
Speaker 3: Do you think it's Aliens.
Speaker 2: I said to your mom, I think it's.
Speaker 3: Obvious to be Aliens.
Speaker 2: Ali. I think it's a company.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say, like Amazon, but I think
Speaker 1: it's somebody trying something out and it's proprietary. I think
Speaker 1: they're like, we can't fucking admit it. We can't say
Speaker 1: because then somebody will steal our ideas whatever. And I
Speaker 1: think the top government officials no, and that's why they're like,
Speaker 1: it is literally nothing to be concerned about. But it's
Speaker 1: like that, don't wash man, like if it ain't anything
Speaker 1: to be concerned about.
Speaker 2: Just say literally what it is, and.
Speaker 1: Don't fucking lie and say a lot of these are
Speaker 1: airplanes because they're not the way they're moving not airplanes
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: And what like all the footage that's being loaded up
Speaker 2: to speaking a ring.
Speaker 1: There's a website called like neighbors or something like that,
Speaker 1: so if you're a ring member, that's where you put
Speaker 1: that footage and be like, hey, man, have you seen
Speaker 1: somebody like this that you're doing a lot of people
Speaker 1: are putting up their fucking drone footage going like this,
Speaker 1: ain't I ain't.
Speaker 2: Crazy, Like these drones are big as a bus.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's nuts.
Speaker 2: So I don't think it's aliens.
Speaker 1: But I do think there's a lot more of the
Speaker 1: story than apparently the government is willing let on. And
Speaker 1: I feel so weird saying that because it makes me
Speaker 1: sound like a nutcase, like, but no, I honestly.
Speaker 3: Don't they're not planes.
Speaker 1: I felt very gas lit when I watched Orca's on TV,
Speaker 1: be like most of these are planes coming in and
Speaker 1: it's like bro, no, no, And look the one cop
Speaker 1: is like I saw fifty coming off the ocean, so great.
Speaker 1: All we have to do in one big bunch and
Speaker 1: the fucking mayor of this town, of that town. I
Speaker 1: was watching their press conference. He was like, look, man,
Speaker 1: this is legit fucking officer of the law who saw
Speaker 1: fifty fucking craft come off the ocean. So all I
Speaker 1: one has to do is check like air traffic Control
Speaker 1: and be like, did you have fifty planes grouped real
Speaker 1: tightly together coming off the ocean at the same time?
Speaker 2: Because if the answer is no, then it's like, well,
Speaker 2: then what the fuck did the police officer see?
Speaker 1: Because I tend to believe the police officer man, like
Speaker 1: nobody goes out into the world to be like I
Speaker 1: saw something unexplainable without fucking worrying about their job losing
Speaker 1: their fucking place in society where people like you fucking
Speaker 1: nutbar and shit like that.
Speaker 2: I believe anybody that's going I saw a fucking thing.
Speaker 1: I really believe it when they're like yeah, because I
Speaker 1: can look at that shit myself and be like, that
Speaker 1: is not a fucking airplane, Like that's.
Speaker 2: Not where the lights are on an airplane. They would
Speaker 2: never be that fucking close.
Speaker 1: It's great, they don't move like that, So that sends
Speaker 1: me down the fucking.
Speaker 4: Rabbit hole of like they don't blink like that.
Speaker 1: UAPs they call him now used to be UFOs when
Speaker 1: we were kids, but now it's like Unidentified Aeronautical phenomenon
Speaker 1: or something like that, because UFO has a connotation.
Speaker 2: Of like aliens.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but meanwhile, so does this shit because they're like
Speaker 1: sometimes you know, they just had congressional hearings like last year,
Speaker 1: two years ago where they're like talking to some dude
Speaker 1: who you know, some people like that dude's crazy and
Speaker 1: the government tried to pain him like crazy, but he
Speaker 1: had high clearance to work for the government and shit
Speaker 1: like that, and he's like, I've seen recovery crafts. They
Speaker 1: reverse engineer this shit like and they have been doing
Speaker 1: it since.
Speaker 6: Roswell, Like that's where we get technology from. And we
Speaker 6: have seen the pilots of these crafts and they are
Speaker 6: biologic and they are not from this planet.
Speaker 4: Nice.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. All of that is like
Speaker 2: so fucking cool.
Speaker 1: I'm saying to your mom, Like last night, I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, they're finally one day gonna say like and
Speaker 1: here it is, here's the photo where here's one We're
Speaker 1: gonna truck it out and fucking live cameras or whatnot,
Speaker 1: and nobody's gonna like it ain't gonna be like, it'll
Speaker 1: be news for twelve hours and then Trump's gonna say
Speaker 1: something and everyone will fucking forget, like something else will
Speaker 1: take over the news cycle because there is news out there,
Speaker 1: legitimate news of shit in the sky that did not
Speaker 1: come from this planet, and people are just like, that's
Speaker 1: fucked up.
Speaker 7: It's like, what, this is what we've waited for our
Speaker 7: whole lives, and you're just gonna be like casual about it,
Speaker 7: like this should be the fucking front page news every
Speaker 7: fucking day until fucking somebody.
Speaker 1: You know, goes, all right, we were lying there ain't
Speaker 1: no aliens whatever the fuck, but like even the prospect
Speaker 1: and somebody's drones even provide that, you know, now, I like.
Speaker 3: How passionate you are about this. I didn't actually know
Speaker 3: it's I'm really enjoying like this.
Speaker 2: I was really like, because Jennifer is like to hoax.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know, well, she was like yeah,
Speaker 1: she's like, you know.
Speaker 3: I'm exposed a little bit.
Speaker 1: Well, but at first, but then I convinced her. Then
Speaker 1: I was pulling her into it, going like and she
Speaker 1: said the same thing.
Speaker 2: She's like, you're very passionate about this.
Speaker 1: I was like, because don't you feel lied to? Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I feel. There's a I mean, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say this is the first time the government lied. But
Speaker 1: the fact that a guy would bald face, you know,
Speaker 1: go on TV and be like, yeah, no, those are airplanes,
Speaker 1: be like, what are you one of the men in black?
Speaker 2: Like did you just use this fucking thing in my face?
Speaker 2: Like you're nuts? That ain't an airplane. I know what
Speaker 2: an airplane looks like. And what are they all lying?
Speaker 2: And there's a certain part of me too that she's
Speaker 2: are you kicking me under?
Speaker 4: You were don't you stop talking about this? The government's coming.
Speaker 8: I was like, no, I won't be silence.
Speaker 2: And here's another fucking thing.
Speaker 8: They all lost proof.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I just think that feels like, don't dream
Speaker 1: me like a goddamn child like fucking period.
Speaker 2: And honestly, it's a frow shade on the Great State
Speaker 2: of New Jersey where they're like, all these people are
Speaker 2: seeing airplanes, they're all different sides of it. It reminds me
Speaker 2: of Jaw's been like this is a boating it. This
Speaker 2: was not a boating accident. Something's fucking going on and
Speaker 2: they don't want to tell us. And it's like, I'm
Speaker 2: not saying it's bad, and I'm not saying, like, you know,
Speaker 2: it's Jewish space lasers or fucking like whatever you know,
Speaker 2: or Pizzagate.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying these are conspiracy theories. I think something
Speaker 1: is going on and we are building our own conspiracies
Speaker 1: because they just won't say. And if it's something as
Speaker 1: simple as like Amazon is testing fucking Jones, great, fucking
Speaker 1: say it.
Speaker 2: Why would you hide that? Like fucking who else would
Speaker 2: it be?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you got a point.
Speaker 1: But nobody's saying shit, and you got fucking like congressmen
Speaker 1: in New Jersey both sides going like, why won't.
Speaker 4: They tell them?
Speaker 2: Now? They ordered a drone detection system and shit, they're
Speaker 2: sending up their own drones. I spend a lot of
Speaker 2: time I'm thinking about this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I watched a lot of videos about this, big
Speaker 1: time in the news, happening in my home stations. When
Speaker 1: it really caught my attention is when they were like,
Speaker 1: these things are flying over Earl. Earl is where they
Speaker 1: keep the nukes on the East coast. There's four blocks
Speaker 1: from quick stop, like because the running joke, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: me and all the guys that used to be stationed
Speaker 1: at Earl Naval Base used to come and open up
Speaker 1: fucking accounts because they'd be stationed for like six months
Speaker 1: to a year and stuff like that. So we saw
Speaker 1: a lot of service folks and whatnot. But the joke
Speaker 1: me and Brian Johnson always had was like, thank god
Speaker 1: Earl is there, because one day the bomb will drop
Speaker 1: and Earl is a first strike, so Russia launches its nukes,
Speaker 1: and East Coast, being closer to Russia than say, the
Speaker 1: West Coast, one of the first targets was Earl because
Speaker 1: that's where all our nukes, not all of them, but
Speaker 1: a good portion of East Coast nukes launch from there.
Speaker 1: So strategically speaking, that's one of the first places you
Speaker 1: want to hit so that we can't strike back with
Speaker 1: a thousand nukes ors warheads or something like that. So
Speaker 1: we would always be like, good and we don't have
Speaker 1: to work at quick stuff anymore because.
Speaker 2: We'll go first.
Speaker 4: We're like four blocks away.
Speaker 1: We'd be instantly incinerated, be like thank you, oh my god.
Speaker 1: So when they were like these things are flying over Earl.
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's how is that? Why is that possible?
Speaker 1: If I were to fly a helicopter over Earle, they
Speaker 1: would shoot me down.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like so why yeah.
Speaker 2: Why aren't they shooting these fucking things down?
Speaker 1: And meanwhile they got a bunch of people going like, yeah,
Speaker 1: why aren't we shooting them down? And then a bunch
Speaker 1: of government people going don't shoot these things down.
Speaker 2: People could get hurt if you do that.
Speaker 1: I understand that, but it's like you're telling me if
Speaker 1: I see that fucking thing over the ocean, I'm not
Speaker 1: allowed to shoot it down, But you won't tell me
Speaker 1: what in it, like a number.
Speaker 3: One half, it's going to get hurt.
Speaker 4: Well, what I.
Speaker 1: Took from it them to mean was like you shoot
Speaker 1: a fucking drone down over a town, it's going to
Speaker 1: fall down.
Speaker 4: These drones are big as a bust.
Speaker 3: Is anyone in the thing.
Speaker 1: Are these unmannedcraft or are as they've said in the past, biologics,
Speaker 1: which it doesn't mean little green men Like I read
Speaker 1: a report where one motherfucker was like they are like avatars,
Speaker 1: Like these things like we've had them, they live only
Speaker 1: for about like two three days after a crash or
Speaker 1: whatever they there's no way for them to eat, there's
Speaker 1: no like fucking shithole.
Speaker 2: So they think they're.
Speaker 1: Just like, you know, like a rumba, a very advanced
Speaker 1: fucking roomba that's been programmed to do it task that's
Speaker 1: humanoid in nature, but not truly a living thing.
Speaker 9: Mm.
Speaker 2: Which is fucking that is?
Speaker 1: You want to hear another fascinating fucker who's sending these
Speaker 1: things where they're coming from? I would love what planet
Speaker 1: ready for me to blow your mind? What if they're
Speaker 1: coming from a planet Earth? What if they are our
Speaker 1: future selves trying to come back to fucking interfere or
Speaker 1: warn or stop us. Like if you go over Earl
Speaker 1: Naval Weapons Station where the nukes are, there's one of
Speaker 1: two things. You're interested in taking them or stopping us
Speaker 1: from using them, and you would be interested. Seems like
Speaker 1: they could do whatever they want the way these things
Speaker 1: fucking move, so taking them doesn't seem to be the thing,
Speaker 1: but it could be them motherfuckers. You're trying to be like,
Speaker 1: this is how it all ends, So we're traveling back
Speaker 1: in time to tell you fucking stop or you know,
Speaker 1: then the outcome they don't get out and tell us
Speaker 1: a shit because we've evolved to like the species we
Speaker 1: can't possibly comprehend.
Speaker 2: But it's us way in the future.
Speaker 1: Well not us, we're long dead, but our species way
Speaker 1: in the future trying to come back to stop us
Speaker 1: from destroying the planet, hence destroying their fucking presence.
Speaker 3: My god, mind blown.
Speaker 2: It's good ship, right, that's why.
Speaker 1: But again, bro Free and I ain't coming down on Eggers,
Speaker 1: like I ain't seen I got the skin in the game.
Speaker 2: But they just spent a lot, universal spent a lot of.
Speaker 3: Money coming for him.
Speaker 1: But like the whole I saw the billboard, it's all
Speaker 1: about like OOKI spooky for Christmas, and it's like, good
Speaker 1: on them, you know, that's great, but they spend a
Speaker 1: lot of money to do that. These YouTube kids, you know,
Speaker 1: they're like, I'm just putting ten fucking ring Cameron together,
Speaker 1: or reading a story, reading a transcript from a government
Speaker 1: fucking that's.
Speaker 2: So aggressional hearing.
Speaker 1: Or I've got your mom into the infhographic show, which
Speaker 1: is little cartoons where they tell stories. She's like, I
Speaker 1: love his voice is very soothing, and like, you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes it's useful ship, but sometimes it's also conspiracy, you know,
Speaker 1: like fucking What would Hitler think if he saw a
Speaker 1: fucking f fifteen today?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I got it.
Speaker 1: They gotta fill in your internet a good thing. Or
Speaker 1: sometimes it's like, how did they catch John Wayne Gacy?
Speaker 1: Or you know the ten worse forms of torture in
Speaker 1: the Middle Age?
Speaker 10: You're so weird.
Speaker 2: The infographic show is amazing.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. I didn't know about this side of you.
Speaker 1: I spent most of my time on YouTube, like watching
Speaker 1: short subjects.
Speaker 3: I really I like this, I really like this fun
Speaker 3: fact about it.
Speaker 2: If you ever like hmm, I like what the chef prepares.
Speaker 2: I wonder what the chef eats. That's what I.
Speaker 1: And let me tell you when it comes to those
Speaker 1: door cam videos, I ate. So I ate all of
Speaker 1: them period, as your kids say, every every morsel, very demure,
Speaker 1: very whatever.
Speaker 2: The other one is that a new one?
Speaker 3: Eight?
Speaker 2: That is the new one. It's just what is four
Speaker 2: plus four?
Speaker 4: Eight?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh eight? That's funny. Yes, baby doll is here to
Speaker 2: tell you.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, no, no, never never say that.
Speaker 4: All right, the uh oops.
Speaker 1: Rush water from a can? Go figure, where are we
Speaker 1: at thirty eight minutes? Let me tell you where I been? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm a nayware man. Last time I saw you, didn't
Speaker 1: we do a show last week?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it seems like so long ago.
Speaker 1: Well after we did a show, I went to see
Speaker 1: Momily and I saw mamily for her seventy ninth birthday.
Speaker 1: Uncle Don was like, we're taking her to the Stetson Mansion.
Speaker 1: And essentially, and Stetson Mansion it was like an hour
Speaker 1: and a half away from where they live, and it's
Speaker 1: a big old mansion they built in Florida at like
Speaker 1: the turn of the century, at the first house in
Speaker 1: Florida that Thomas Edison they knew personally, so it had electricity,
Speaker 1: stets and of the people who make cowboy hats and
Speaker 1: boots and shit like that. So now these two other
Speaker 1: guys bought it years later, fell into disrepair. It was
Speaker 1: like fucking on the market for nine years, and these
Speaker 1: guys bought it, turned it back into its former glory.
Speaker 1: And for Christmas, they're both Christmas dudes, and so they
Speaker 1: decorate the house and then they charge you to come
Speaker 1: in and look at it.
Speaker 2: So essentially it's a very you.
Speaker 3: Know, they charge you, yeah.
Speaker 1: Very fancy and expensive version of let's go look at
Speaker 1: the neighbor's Christmas. Yeah, which is something like we used
Speaker 1: to do when we were kids with my dad and
Speaker 1: my mom, Like, you know, cheap entertainment when we were kids, right,
Speaker 1: Like we didn't have cable TV and we didn't have
Speaker 1: the internet.
Speaker 3: I love looking at people's houses.
Speaker 1: My parents would just drive around and look at other
Speaker 1: people's houses when we were kids.
Speaker 2: But that's not entertaining for a child.
Speaker 1: You're sitting in the back of the seat and you're like,
Speaker 1: what's our destination? And your parents are like, we have
Speaker 1: to enjoy the journey.
Speaker 3: You know that you did that with me? What do
Speaker 3: you mean You know that we spent a lot of
Speaker 3: time life driving around.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we would go to places. No where did
Speaker 2: we go Mulholland.
Speaker 1: But like as an adult, not as a child then
Speaker 1: a heavy in the back of the fucking seat.
Speaker 3: No, but growing up, like when I was in school
Speaker 3: and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you would go along for the ride out
Speaker 1: of a sense of enjoyment. Yeah, yeah, you're complicit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it was for enjoyment. But I'm saying, how's
Speaker 3: that different than your parents driving you around.
Speaker 1: My parents drove number one, all three of us around me,
Speaker 1: my brother and my sister, and we were young, and
Speaker 1: they weren't like in this enjoyable kids because I didn't
Speaker 1: enjoy it. They would just drive around and like's you know,
Speaker 1: like think about it when I go on mulhalland I'm
Speaker 1: never looking at the view like I looked at the
Speaker 1: view twenty years ago, So now I don't even know
Speaker 1: what I look at. It's just so easy to go
Speaker 1: up there and disassociate, which I'm not supposed to.
Speaker 8: When I got out the fucking booby hats, they were like,
Speaker 8: don't do that.
Speaker 2: I was like, I won't know, but I like.
Speaker 1: To fucking just I loved Mulholland because I could drive
Speaker 1: it with my eyes closed and shit like that.
Speaker 2: But I don't look around.
Speaker 4: My parents.
Speaker 2: Oh look, they were like rubber.
Speaker 1: Neck and all the time. Oh look at that. Oh
Speaker 1: don look at that house. Oh that's nice, look at
Speaker 1: their porch. We should do that.
Speaker 3: It's like same houses. Or would you go to new neighborhoods?
Speaker 1: What a good question, new neighborhoods, because I don't remember,
Speaker 1: you know, that would have.
Speaker 2: Been weird, Like sooner or later somebody comes out and like,
Speaker 2: get away from our house. My Mom's like, we like
Speaker 2: your house. You can't taste this away.
Speaker 3: They're like, oh, it's this is so nice. Every week.
Speaker 1: There was a chick that used to pass our house
Speaker 1: throughout your entire childhood who would scream at the house
Speaker 1: whenever she drove by, and.
Speaker 2: She would go, I love your big giant house. It
Speaker 2: was awesome.
Speaker 1: We heard it all the time for years, and we
Speaker 1: were you know, on first, we were like, who's she
Speaker 1: yelling at? And then one day we saw her yelling
Speaker 1: at us, and I was like, Oh, it's us. We
Speaker 1: are the big giant house that she loves. But my uh,
Speaker 1: we would just yeah. I remember being like this is boring?
Speaker 1: Can we go to the Can we go to a place?
Speaker 1: Can we go buy a Star Wars toy?
Speaker 2: Destination? When you're a kid, you don't want to just
Speaker 2: like fucking wander and shit like that.
Speaker 4: And I mean, little kid.
Speaker 2: You gotta remember I was like fucking three four years ago.
Speaker 3: Oh really, well you left out that part.
Speaker 2: Did you think I meant like when I was in
Speaker 2: my twenties.
Speaker 1: Yeah, would be in the back of my parents car
Speaker 1: my twenties and she already made clerks.
Speaker 4: I was driving by that point.
Speaker 2: No, it was a child and and childhood, I had
Speaker 2: no free fucking reign.
Speaker 4: I loved my mother.
Speaker 1: And as I was saying, we went to hang out
Speaker 1: with Mom, and we went to the Stetson mansion look
Speaker 1: to fucking Christmas lights and then hung out Me and
Speaker 1: Mom and Virginia and Donald and they're just such delightful
Speaker 1: people aside from being blood relatives, like I just love
Speaker 1: them all, and we also have the common frame of reference,
Speaker 1: like yeah, I could drop a reference and they all
Speaker 1: fucking know what it is, and shit.
Speaker 3: Like that is family audience for you.
Speaker 1: Beyond a good audience. It's like kinship. And you know,
Speaker 1: of course their kinship because they're kin but.
Speaker 2: Like, like it's nice they're your family.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that doesn't mean shit, right, Like
Speaker 1: you cannot like your fucking family.
Speaker 2: And I've meant a lot of people that fucking don't.
Speaker 2: But it's like why you liked those people.
Speaker 1: But but also why these people I like the well,
Speaker 1: I mean Uncle Don, Like aside from I can point
Speaker 1: to like, well, without Momily, I'm not even here and
Speaker 1: Mommy gave me a.
Speaker 2: Lot of good shit and that I still used to
Speaker 2: this day.
Speaker 1: Uncle Don same thing, like fucking gave me a lot
Speaker 1: of good shit that I still used this day. And
Speaker 1: Uncle Don taught me like what was funny and fucking
Speaker 1: like I talk like Uncle Don just you know, because
Speaker 1: I shared a room with him, so like he's very
Speaker 1: influential and and Virginia is the one that was like,
Speaker 1: you should write, you should do this and sent me
Speaker 1: to fucking.
Speaker 2: The Forum when I was like making clerks and whatnot.
Speaker 1: Like she's always been like, you know, expand.
Speaker 2: Grow, learn shit like that, encourage you.
Speaker 1: So aside from that, it's also just having like he
Speaker 1: may remember like when we fucking went driving that one
Speaker 1: night and then like we started like picking through the
Speaker 1: people's garbage and shit, and fucking people drove past and
Speaker 1: they were like garbage pickers, Like oh god, like I
Speaker 1: don't even have to say that that literally, yeah it happened.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And one of those times we were just driving around,
Speaker 1: Grandma and Grandpa were just driving and we were in
Speaker 1: the backseat. We were driving through Rumson and it must
Speaker 1: have been like maybe post Christmas or something like that,
Speaker 1: but not cold. There was no snow, but Rumpson is
Speaker 1: like where the rich people live. And so I don't
Speaker 1: know why, man, but so people were getting rid of
Speaker 1: like a lot of shit. That's why I think it
Speaker 1: was post Christmas, because you get new things, you get
Speaker 1: rid of old shit, so you know, on the maybe,
Speaker 1: I mean it's crazy like that there was this much,
Speaker 1: but we went to like six different houses, but people
Speaker 1: had their garbage on the fucking curve and it wasn't
Speaker 1: like garbage like banana peels and shit. It was like
Speaker 1: people were throwing out toys, so like I got a
Speaker 1: joker doll from it, like like we got shit.
Speaker 2: We were going through to fucking garbage.
Speaker 1: And I only know that because somebody yelled garbage pickers,
Speaker 1: and I was like, somebody drove past and they were
Speaker 1: like garbage pickers, and I was too young to understand
Speaker 1: what that meant. Virginia and Donald were like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: and Mom and Dad thought it was funny though, like
Speaker 1: get in the car, like fun's over. But I always
Speaker 1: remember that as like one of the greatest nights of
Speaker 1: my youth because I was like, I got a lot
Speaker 1: of new toys and there was just this like wild
Speaker 1: abandoned leg It made it made sense to me, like
Speaker 1: why wouldn't.
Speaker 2: Like they're throwing it out. Then it's something Now what
Speaker 2: it's called upsycle.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we upcycled.
Speaker 3: I think it is legal to go through someone's trusure.
Speaker 3: Probably idays, I think it is illegal, buddy. But at
Speaker 3: the same time, they were given in a way.
Speaker 1: So but I mean, I don't even I don't even
Speaker 1: have to tell that whole story for Virginia and Donald,
Speaker 1: I just have to be like garbage pickers and like, yeah,
Speaker 1: having a common frame of reference, knowing people who knew
Speaker 1: me before I became like a creature of entertainment. Like
Speaker 1: I'm always fascinated by the version of me that's somewhere
Speaker 1: very deeper, long since gone, the one that started the journey.
Speaker 1: And they all knew him, like very well. And I
Speaker 1: always like hearing about like the differences and whatnot. It
Speaker 1: always like makes me giggle when they're like, you were
Speaker 1: so quiet, and I was like, I guess I was
Speaker 1: just waiting to turn it on, and the moment I started,
Speaker 1: I would never shut up.
Speaker 3: The button broke that day, the button broke.
Speaker 1: But it was just lovely to be around them, and
Speaker 1: just lovely to see Mommily who looked fantastic for age
Speaker 1: seventy nine and shit, and yes, slow down, but Mommily,
Speaker 1: you got to remember had a fucking terrible year last
Speaker 1: year where we almost lost her a few times. So
Speaker 1: all things considered, she looked fucking great.
Speaker 2: Man. She had some Bailey's Irish cream, so she got
Speaker 2: a little oh did she?
Speaker 3: She had that last birthday too.
Speaker 1: I remember she had some and she was getting tipsy
Speaker 1: and fucking laughing and she had like these good times.
Speaker 1: And then Virginia was hanging out with Delaney, her daughter
Speaker 1: came in and they took Grandma out, and Virginia sent
Speaker 1: me a text and she was like, I gave mom what.
Speaker 2: She thinks is booze, but it's not. And she's like.
Speaker 3: Acting, Oh my god, that's fucking awesome. That's so good.
Speaker 2: But so what a lovely human being.
Speaker 1: I mean, I got lucky with my mom and my
Speaker 1: whole damn family and stuff. It's nice that they're like
Speaker 1: still around. And Uncle Jerry was there. He was working
Speaker 1: most of the time and stuff, and we got to
Speaker 1: hang out with him as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, good times. Next time you totally come.
Speaker 1: Down and they knew that you were recording ship, I
Speaker 1: was like, bruh, she's grunge.
Speaker 2: She can't she can't do family.
Speaker 4: It's please, I'll tell you right now.
Speaker 2: The fucking the number one fan of the show.
Speaker 1: Like, I don't know who's listening, But any money that
Speaker 1: we made off for commercial revenue I think solely comes
Speaker 1: from Aunt Virginia.
Speaker 2: She is fascinated by the show. She's like, I learned
Speaker 2: so much about you. She's like, I don't know half
Speaker 2: the things about you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And she's like, and then you talk about a
Speaker 1: lot of ship that like I go, oh my god,
Speaker 1: remember that. And she loves our dynamic and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But she, yeah, she listens to it.
Speaker 2: On the regular.
Speaker 3: That's nice.
Speaker 2: Yes, very very It's so weird, Exuce.
Speaker 1: I've been podcasting since two thousand and seven, and this
Speaker 1: is the one.
Speaker 2: That Virginia is like, oh, I like that punk, very
Speaker 2: very sweet.
Speaker 1: So I did that. Then I came home for like
Speaker 1: a minute. Then I went up to Portland and did
Speaker 1: four sold out fucking shows pre Christmas. You get a gift.
Speaker 4: It was good.
Speaker 1: There were four really cool shows and people were fucking sweet.
Speaker 2: Up there and stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Awesome.
Speaker 1: I got some gigs after Christmas. I don't have anything else.
Speaker 1: We did fat Man Beyond Last Night here in Town,
Speaker 1: which was also lovely, But now I don't have any
Speaker 1: gigs until after Christmas. I got some gigs in Phoenix
Speaker 1: and then New Year's Are you doing a show?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to do one where.
Speaker 1: I looked about doing one here with Ralph, but Ral's
Speaker 1: he's booked for something, He's doing something else. So I
Speaker 1: was like, well, I have my own fucking theater for
Speaker 1: this purpose. I can go back and sell that show.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I was just there and I
Speaker 1: was just there for free.
Speaker 2: Like we did a show we did, We showed die
Speaker 2: Hard for free, and so I hosted that. You know, there's.
Speaker 1: Something to be said for oversaturation, particularly you know, we
Speaker 1: don't serve booze, you know. So we did an evening
Speaker 1: with Kevin Smith, like one of the first year we
Speaker 1: owned the theater, and it sold out and stuff. But
Speaker 1: and I just I felt like, you know what I'm not.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can guarantee a sellout. I
Speaker 1: get this late in the game, this late stage game,
Speaker 1: because it was already the first week in December. And
Speaker 1: so then I asked, like Seth Siegel, my touring guy,
Speaker 1: was like, hey, mean, can you see if there's any
Speaker 1: place that's got an open for New Year's Eve?
Speaker 2: Like I feel like I rather than sit.
Speaker 1: Around, like I'd just rather go work, make some fucking
Speaker 1: loot and shit. And so he he was like, how
Speaker 1: do you feel about Spokane?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you're going to spoken?
Speaker 1: So I was like, yeah, I did some great shows
Speaker 1: in Spokane years ago and Jenny went with me and stuff.
Speaker 1: So I was like, you know, let me ask and
Speaker 1: the price was right and stuff. So I was like,
Speaker 1: let me ask her. And I was like, how did
Speaker 1: you feel about Spokane for New Year's Eve? And she's
Speaker 1: like why And I was like, because I'm going to work.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know, rather do that than
Speaker 1: just kind of sit around here, because that's.
Speaker 2: All we'll do. We'll watch we'll both fall asleep before
Speaker 2: fucking you like.
Speaker 3: Holiday very much.
Speaker 1: And also it'll start like you know, then we'll start
Speaker 1: the new year with like a nice chunk of change
Speaker 1: and you know, fucking bills always have to be paid
Speaker 1: and ship. There's never, you know, not going to be
Speaker 1: a time where I'm not fucking working. So that's fine
Speaker 1: because the work I do is enjoyable, but it's like
Speaker 1: I can't pass up an opportunity, like, you know, just
Speaker 1: I don't like New Year's even anyway.
Speaker 2: And it's not like I'd go to some party or
Speaker 2: something like that.
Speaker 1: And even if somebody cool invited me to a party,
Speaker 1: I fucking hate it. Like I've done that before, making money,
Speaker 1: being the center of attention, making money, I can't think
Speaker 1: of making people happy on New Year's Eve. I see
Speaker 1: that was the third thing in the list, revealing that's
Speaker 1: how I live my life. Little here's a little bit
Speaker 1: for you, and then one for you, two for me,
Speaker 1: one for you, one two, three for me, three for you,
Speaker 1: one for me. So yeah, I'm gonna do that for
Speaker 1: New Year's even then also New Year's Day in this
Speaker 1: day and do two more fucking gigs. And then that
Speaker 1: week I'm doing a little appearance in a movie I hear.
Speaker 2: Has a cast full of characters. Sounds like you may
Speaker 2: be in that movie as well, but not in the
Speaker 2: same scene. No, maybe we'll pass each other.
Speaker 3: You will pass each other in the halls.
Speaker 2: And uh. And that's the beginning. That's that's that's my
Speaker 2: schedule for the next What are you going to do
Speaker 2: for Christmas?
Speaker 3: I'll be with you. I'll be here.
Speaker 4: Are you not going to Virginia?
Speaker 3: I'm going after Christmas?
Speaker 2: What's the logic there.
Speaker 3: My mother would have a meltdown if I was here.
Speaker 2: Do you think she would?
Speaker 3: She says she wouldn't, but I'd rather, I'd rather, yeah,
Speaker 3: just not find out.
Speaker 1: She was trying to sell me on the idea like
Speaker 1: she should go to Virginia. I was like, why do
Speaker 1: you give a ship? And she was like no, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying like, why is she gonna fly by herself
Speaker 1: afterwards when she could fly with Austin and like, we're
Speaker 1: going to do Christmas A.
Speaker 3: Time when there was a time when I told Mom
Speaker 3: that Austin wasn't going to be here for Christmas, and
Speaker 3: she nearly cried.
Speaker 2: Oh is that right?
Speaker 1: Yes, well she's getting them for Christmas. It's just you know,
Speaker 1: Christmas is December twenty third, before you leave. Yeah, but yeah,
Speaker 1: she was like, you know, hardly should go, shouldn't she
Speaker 1: she's trying to recruit me.
Speaker 3: She was trying to convince herself.
Speaker 2: No, you convince me. She was convinced, and she was.
Speaker 3: Trying to sounds like she doesn't want me here.
Speaker 1: Well, I was like, why do you, Why don't you
Speaker 1: give a shit? She's like, it's just better, it's better.
Speaker 1: It probably be I heard it I said, she's a
Speaker 1: grown ass woman. She'll do whatever fuck she wants. She
Speaker 1: does it all the time. Like, why would this be different? Clearly,
Speaker 1: if she's okay with going at that time, she's okay
Speaker 1: with going at that time.
Speaker 2: Well, am I wrong? You're like, no, I want to
Speaker 2: go early.
Speaker 3: I'm a little scared to fly by yourself. I'm flying
Speaker 3: on an airline I've never flown on before, and I'm terrified.
Speaker 2: Which one?
Speaker 3: Breeze it's the only one with a direct flight.
Speaker 4: Why where is that?
Speaker 2: You can't where? Where's the nearest place to fly into
Speaker 2: d C? How far is that?
Speaker 3: Two hours?
Speaker 2: What a hall?
Speaker 3: It's such a hall? Yeah, but that's what I always so.
Speaker 2: Where does Breeze leave from from?
Speaker 1: L A X.
Speaker 2: Really? Welcome to Breeze Airline.
Speaker 1: Uh, we're gonna try to stay up today.
Speaker 2: We're gonna keep it. Most planes fly about thirty thousand feet.
Speaker 1: We're we're gonna keep it at a low six thousand
Speaker 1: just in case we have to do a quick landing.
Speaker 2: Gas up.
Speaker 3: You know it moves the pilot. Welcome, Welcome to the
Speaker 3: Breeze Airline.
Speaker 4: Don't you worried I'll go this?
Speaker 11: I myse Nicoleman Captain Scott see, but that's when he's
Speaker 11: a cat.
Speaker 2: You can get away with that. That's my day.
Speaker 4: I don't want no one to know who is.
Speaker 10: They won't take me seriously if they find out I
Speaker 10: was just a cat. So that's a human being and
Speaker 10: it breezes airlines. They're willing to hire me, and I
Speaker 10: calls myself Captain's cap.
Speaker 4: Wellby.
Speaker 10: I think that's why they hired me. If have funny name.
Speaker 10: But I just won't fly, Mommy. I think everyone deserves
Speaker 10: a chance to fly, and I for flying. So you Google,
Speaker 10: tell Carl, you bring Carl a message for me.
Speaker 3: Cars like popul.
Speaker 2: Very much.
Speaker 1: Your cat does Carl gossipy, but she'll never listen to
Speaker 1: the show. So we watched Wicked, and we've seen Wicked before.
Speaker 1: I think we've seen it as a family a couple
Speaker 1: of times more than once stage. Yes, live on Broadway
Speaker 1: or the pantagious version here. But what you know, I
Speaker 1: didn't think your mom was gonna go for it. It's
Speaker 1: not She went for the show, but not what I
Speaker 1: would call a musical.
Speaker 3: Fan, not a theater kid.
Speaker 2: No man hed the imagination.
Speaker 1: But I think because her friend Shay was like, oh
Speaker 1: my God, I can love Wicked so much.
Speaker 2: Jennifer is like, I think I'm me a wedge waked.
Speaker 2: So we got it on the Oscar app and stuff,
Speaker 2: and we watched Wicked, and she like balled like a baby.
Speaker 2: Fucking you would have thought that she had ate a
Speaker 2: whole or even a piece of like mushroom chocolate bar
Speaker 2: because she was so on such an emotional journey. Really
Speaker 2: was on the emotional journey, and it was lovely because
Speaker 2: she's not generally that person.
Speaker 4: I am.
Speaker 2: I cried everything man like they started it and I
Speaker 2: was crying.
Speaker 3: You talk about iron Man and emotional flowing, and I
Speaker 3: believe me.
Speaker 1: If you start me on Wicked, I can get very emotional.
Speaker 1: It's so beautiful, so well done, and such a and
Speaker 1: I mean just as a piece of art itself, the show,
Speaker 1: never mind the movie.
Speaker 2: The movie's magical as well. They did such a fucking
Speaker 2: great job.
Speaker 1: But in any event, you know, she's normally not for
Speaker 1: that kind of thing, but she ate it up and
Speaker 1: was fucking loving it.
Speaker 2: Shit. So at one point we paused to go get
Speaker 2: some food stuff.
Speaker 3: And are you about to say something expository?
Speaker 2: She goes, when is it? When was the scene.
Speaker 1: He thinks it was when Alphaba like runs off into
Speaker 1: the woods with little cage lines and your mom goes,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I am Alpha Ba. Now normally I'm
Speaker 1: just like uh huh, but that one that was a
Speaker 1: bridge too far where I was like, no, you're not
Speaker 1: and she goes, yeah, I am. I was like, oh no,
Speaker 1: there is nothing alphabe about you.
Speaker 2: She goes, but you mean. I was like, if you
Speaker 2: are either of these.
Speaker 3: Two, there's a clear Oh.
Speaker 2: I said, bro, you're not Alphaba, you are You're there
Speaker 2: And she's like no, And I was like, can you
Speaker 2: not know clearly you're being ironic with it.
Speaker 1: Just goes like, no, she wasn't joshing she thought she was,
Speaker 1: which I'm like, you know, look, of course maybe she
Speaker 1: inside she feels like alpha Ba, but like externally, I'm like, Bro,
Speaker 1: of either of those two, you're a carbon copy of
Speaker 1: fucking Glinda for sure, which ain't like, you know, Glinda's great,
Speaker 1: we all love Glinda, but you know, it's just funny.
Speaker 1: That shows that's that's some good storytelling where some so
Speaker 1: completely far flown from a main character can identify with
Speaker 1: the main character.
Speaker 3: That's an sign of an excellent performance too.
Speaker 1: I yes, I was like, you know, I didn't and
Speaker 1: I was just like, I didn't make cars.
Speaker 2: Like if anyone in this house is Alphaba, it's me.
Speaker 3: Don't don't you dare You're not Alphaba. No, no, I alphabe.
Speaker 2: I can't both be Alphaba.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, somebody got to be Glinda.
Speaker 3: The more super visual of the two, which one.
Speaker 2: Of which one of us was was a cheerleader.
Speaker 3: Has a t R literally my mom.
Speaker 1: Yes, it was very It was a moment where I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: what honey, But I want if they're like, maybe that's
Speaker 1: how she feels when I'm like I think I'm a
Speaker 1: good filmmaker and she's.
Speaker 2: Like, that is not that's not it.
Speaker 3: It's not true. That is not true.
Speaker 1: Or if I'm like, you know, I think I think
Speaker 1: I'm like Thepheimer, I think I'm very Nolan esque, and
Speaker 1: then she'd be like, oh, oh.
Speaker 4: Honey, you're not You're not Nolan esk then who am.
Speaker 3: I do you identify it?
Speaker 1: But that's like, you know, I'm not saying that Chris
Speaker 1: Nolan reminds me of Alphabet, but in terms of directors,
Speaker 1: he seems to be the gold standard. I just read
Speaker 1: an article that said a lot of people, which again
Speaker 1: it is like so weird, Like you read one article
Speaker 1: and you're like, that must.
Speaker 2: Be what the world thinks.
Speaker 1: But some organization or some fucking website put up an
Speaker 1: article about how Oppenheimer is the best movie of the
Speaker 1: twenty twenties so far. So he was just in my
Speaker 1: head as like the gold standard of directors. So I
Speaker 1: needed a name to like, you know, throw out to
Speaker 1: mom for her to react in the elfable way.
Speaker 2: So I went for Chris Nolan.
Speaker 1: But I probably didn't even have to reach that high,
Speaker 1: which is what you're looking at me thinking right now.
Speaker 1: You're like, and you chose Chris Nolan. Yeah, maybe Chris
Speaker 1: Nolan is the opposite of you in the way that
Speaker 1: you know, God is the opposite of fucking the devil.
Speaker 4: Like you could have went a way lower.
Speaker 1: How about you start at John Apptew and work up, No,
Speaker 1: that is not true.
Speaker 3: I thought it's not true. I was just I was like,
Speaker 3: do you identify as Nolan ask in any way?
Speaker 4: Not at all?
Speaker 3: In in my mind he is very very dark, And
Speaker 3: I feel like in my mind.
Speaker 2: He's just very like, you know, hey, man, cinema is.
Speaker 9: His esthetic is just is just very different and not comfortable,
Speaker 9: and even the approach to the job is far more serious,
Speaker 9: like he treats it way seriously.
Speaker 1: So when did I see a quote recently where a
Speaker 1: filmmaker was like, man, I put my heart and soul
Speaker 1: into this.
Speaker 2: Oh, James Gunn.
Speaker 1: It was like, I put everything into the Superman movie,
Speaker 1: my heart, my soul, my life.
Speaker 3: I'm excited.
Speaker 2: That made me like, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, look, I was always in, but I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you feel like you've made some sacrifices to make this
Speaker 1: Superman movie.
Speaker 2: Well you have my attention. Fire away, mister Gut, Shoot,
Speaker 2: mister gutt. Before we go, I'm gonna toot my own
Speaker 2: horn a little bit, my humble bragg. So they announced,
Speaker 2: Oh yes.
Speaker 1: In Variety, Universal TV rides industry comedy comeback with Hacks
Speaker 1: a Man on the Inside. Those are two TV shows, Hacks,
Speaker 1: of course, being the gene Smart show Man on the Inside,
Speaker 1: Ted danceon Netflix show and Kevin Smith's new comic book
Speaker 1: Mystery Show. An exclusive by Michael Schneider, I will cut
Speaker 1: to the relevant text, and Variety can exclusively report the
Speaker 1: Universal is developing Local Heroes about.
Speaker 2: A group of comic book store regulars band together to
Speaker 2: solve crimes in their hometown.
Speaker 1: The show is inspired by director Kevin Smith's actual comic
Speaker 1: book store, and he's an EP and writer along with
Speaker 1: Thirty Rock alums Josh Siegel and Dylan Morgan.
Speaker 2: The project being developed.
Speaker 1: Four NBC, also comes from Hazy Mills, Sean Hayes, and
Speaker 1: Todd Milner, as well as Jordan's Surf.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh what he's.
Speaker 2: A producer on the show.
Speaker 3: He is, Oh my god good?
Speaker 1: He became a manager, right, used to be an agent.
Speaker 1: Once you slide out agent, you can slide into that role.
Speaker 1: We prod ourselves on facilitating collaborations, says Jim Donnelly. Universal
Speaker 1: TV sewn Hay's company has been here for a long time.
Speaker 1: Josh and Dylan are overall deal writers who have worked
Speaker 1: in Mike Schure's and Tina Fey's camps. And Kevin Smith
Speaker 1: is a hero of mine and has his finger on
Speaker 1: the pulse.
Speaker 2: Of the genre world. I don't know who he's talking about.
Speaker 1: This murder mystery show in a comic bookstore really fits
Speaker 1: into NBC's single camera workplace, large ensemble shows. Very exciting.
Speaker 1: Now does that mean we have a TV show? Not yet,
Speaker 1: but it means like we're working on one and it
Speaker 1: could be a TV.
Speaker 2: Show, so exciting, very exciting.
Speaker 1: It makes me happy. Not only am I making it,
Speaker 1: but I'm in it as well, like I'm the main character.
Speaker 1: That makes me very happy, and I hope it really
Speaker 1: does go forward. Because I was raised on television. I
Speaker 1: wasn't raised on indie film. I was raised on like
Speaker 1: TV movies were something we went to once in a
Speaker 1: while because they were special and shit like that. We
Speaker 1: didn't have VCRs in the beginning. So sitcoms, fucking TV jingles,
Speaker 1: fucking TV show shows, cartoons like I was raised by
Speaker 1: the box that was a TV baby generation stuff. So
Speaker 1: the idea of having a TV show something I never
Speaker 1: And yes, I've had comic book Men, which ran for
Speaker 1: seven seasons on AMC.
Speaker 2: It's a lot. NBC, though, has been around before me.
Speaker 4: I predated AMC.
Speaker 1: Yes, I think I was in this world before AMC
Speaker 1: was as a trade.
Speaker 2: But NBC predates me and has a long fucking history.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's just it'd be weird and wild
Speaker 1: and not anything I was ever working toward and not
Speaker 1: anything I ever saw coming.
Speaker 2: But more than happy.
Speaker 3: To go on this so well, it's.
Speaker 1: So cool now and it's a delightful like show so far,
Speaker 1: Like we're right right now, we're writing the script. We
Speaker 1: handed in our story document that got to prove that
Speaker 1: we handed in the outline that could approve. So now
Speaker 1: we're writing the script and then after Christmas return it in.
Speaker 1: But the outline is like it's it's adorable and fuzzy
Speaker 1: and it makes you go like I've watched these guys.
Speaker 1: That's what both the studio and the network were like,
Speaker 1: you just love these characters and I could just I
Speaker 1: want to hang out with them every week, go to town.
Speaker 1: So we're now we're in the scripting stage.
Speaker 2: You could you imagine with me with the TV show?
Speaker 3: That would be fun.
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 3: Think about it.
Speaker 1: What that'd be a really nice like third act, like
Speaker 1: you know, like yeah, real sweet, and it wou was
Speaker 1: shoot here in town, Like I could drive over to Universals,
Speaker 1: if I could go back, if I can, if I
Speaker 1: can tell Popoly.
Speaker 2: Because believe me, Mama's hurt and she's like, you get
Speaker 2: that money, you get that network. Now she's very excited
Speaker 2: for me. But Popoly, it would blow his fucking mind.
Speaker 2: I almost wish I could bring him back from the
Speaker 2: dead just to blow his mind put him right back
Speaker 2: in the box.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm back.
Speaker 2: I'm like, Dad, I have my own sickcom And you're like,
Speaker 2: what the back.
Speaker 3: Into the bu.
Speaker 1: That would really fuck with his head. But I could
Speaker 1: draw you a direct line from my dad to that
Speaker 1: if it ever happens, and stuff. Here was my TV buddy.
Speaker 1: I watched a lot of TV.
Speaker 3: With so sweet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be fucking sweet. He ain't around to
Speaker 1: see it, but now somebody would be like, sure he is, Kevin,
Speaker 1: he's watching. I don't know about that, but I do
Speaker 1: know his energies around and that's enough. I don't have
Speaker 1: to go all, you know, fucking like supernatural. I could
Speaker 1: just stop it. Like his energy didn't go anywhere here
Speaker 1: in the universe. And whenever you bring up the dead
Speaker 1: talk about him, you manifest him for a fucking a
Speaker 1: few moments. That's the best you can hope for when
Speaker 1: somebody's gone. So that's why, like when I do shows,
Speaker 1: when somebody I bring up George Cornland or Alan Rickman
Speaker 1: or my dad, they're in the audience for a second,
Speaker 1: you know, because everyone collectively is focused on that energy.
Speaker 1: Energy calls to energy, and you got to imagine that
Speaker 1: that energy is there at that moment.
Speaker 2: That goes for bunnies too.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: They're on a very self celibratory, self congratulatory, humble bragging
Speaker 1: and then finally heart rendering, heartwarming moment of the show.
Speaker 1: That's how we fucking get out of beardless. Stick with me,
Speaker 1: not even the final show of the year, acting like
Speaker 1: it is right.
Speaker 2: But it's still have two more shows before we get
Speaker 2: to the new year.
Speaker 3: Can't get rid of it.
Speaker 4: You having a good time.
Speaker 3: I'm having a great time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really enjoyed somebody out in the world.
Speaker 1: While I was doing comedy gigs and stuff, A bunch
Speaker 1: of people are like, I love beardless.
Speaker 2: Stick with me. You got to make sure its bro,
Speaker 2: you got to make sure you can sell. Everyone keeps
Speaker 2: going on. Some Father Dave shirts coming.
Speaker 4: I'm like, holy shit, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: It's waiting for you, Father Dave. You want to talk
Speaker 1: about bringing energy.
Speaker 3: Back, Come on back, fatherly.
Speaker 1: Man, long Dead Priest, and I think he'd ever have
Speaker 1: a fucking fourth acts you're coming back, punk.
Speaker 4: Rock t shirt and ship.
Speaker 1: Uh, there it is, because there's your beardless dickless me
Speaker 1: for this week.
Speaker 2: For Beardless sickless me. I'm Kevin Smith. Go have yourself
Speaker 2: one of them beardless dickless days.
Speaker 4: Hey, wait, before we.
Speaker 1: Go, I know then you were doing a good You
Speaker 1: looked right into the lens. But that reminds me.
Speaker 2: Look into lens. Want to see the show?
Speaker 1: Go to that Kevinsmith club dot com and you can
Speaker 1: watch the fucking show. But if it's enough to just
Speaker 1: listen to it, Hey.
Speaker 3: Man, no pressure, thanks for listening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but honestly, not for nothing. And this ain't just
Speaker 1: like pride for a fucking daughter. Kid dresses up every
Speaker 1: week every fucking week.
Speaker 2: Kid showed up this week and I was like, where
Speaker 2: are you going after this? And she's like, you know making.
Speaker 2: I was like, they're having a Christmas party, you know.
Speaker 2: I was like, why the fuck are you just up tonight?
Speaker 4: Well, well, well so.
Speaker 1: She's fucking getting dressed for you, and she putting on
Speaker 1: her outfits.
Speaker 2: Her oop fits and ship. Yeah, you gotta fucking come.
Speaker 3: It makes me late every week. Come on.
Speaker 2: She's honestly putting more thought into the appearance of the
Speaker 2: show than the content.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 4: She's like, look, you talk about whatever you want.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna sit here and look. So if by
Speaker 1: not watching the show, you're letting her down. B you're
Speaker 1: missing a funck ton of duck face because aholl shows.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just trying to make the time it took
Speaker 3: to get ready worthsly.
Speaker 2: She's just like I took two members on each. Motherfucker
Speaker 2: they are going to see him. You should really zoom
Speaker 2: in like this from time to time, like push it,
Speaker 2: put your eye into the camera. Yeah s, why don't
Speaker 2: you do the FU tutorial?
Speaker 3: I could? You know what I'm saying, I could maybe
Speaker 3: maybe if you joined that Kevin Smith club.
Speaker 9: That's true, maybe put up the eyelighter tutorial Kevin Smith.
Speaker 4: People like, hey man, this iseline tutorial.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I'm a member of her Instagram club. I see a
Speaker 1: lot more there, but this is okay. I was always
Speaker 1: wondering if she did the eye I support.
Speaker 3: Thanks.
Speaker 11: Mommy cat is like moo is like like this took
Speaker 11: me three hour.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I can't get the pood to stay pooh wait, Pommy.
Speaker 3: I made a stick out of my pool.
Speaker 10: I grabbed it right out of the litter bugment before
Speaker 10: it went all robotic and took it away up to
Speaker 10: outer space.
Speaker 9: My eyes just Redy, I got pick eye.
Speaker 2: Carling, tell me I brother ship, my call your real
Speaker 2: fucking number.
Speaker 3: You know that I need her, stupid, I just wanted
Speaker 3: to see you.
Speaker 4: Ben.
Speaker 2: The other how many cats? Two or three?
Speaker 3: Two?
Speaker 4: More?
Speaker 2: The other two are just.
Speaker 1: There, always silent witnesses in your little sketches. They never
Speaker 1: come into play. What are you waiting to season two
Speaker 1: or something like that?
Speaker 2: That sounds a little too much like carl Maybe that's why.
Speaker 3: But yeah, she has her she has.
Speaker 1: One's a heck, one is a one is you know,
Speaker 1: like fucking you know mister Burns as a girl cat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she really is. I'm a little I'm Wieners from
Speaker 3: New Jersey. I'm a little Jersey girl.
Speaker 2: What can she be? That's that's when she was.
Speaker 1: She's the wiener But what is her dick? Yeah she's
Speaker 1: from New Jersey.
Speaker 3: That helps, But little Jersey girl, that'ss She don't sound
Speaker 3: like no Jersey girl you want.
Speaker 1: She doesn't be like my biological clock is going like this,
Speaker 1: So he.
Speaker 2: Sounds like no she needs a hook.
Speaker 3: Well, she lives here now, so she doesn't sound like
Speaker 3: she's from New Jersey. But she was born.
Speaker 2: There's what's her thing?
Speaker 1: Oh, she's you, she's me, she's like, she's fuck.
Speaker 2: I can't make the compars anymore.
Speaker 1: And Fat Albert the cartoon that was based on the
Speaker 1: creator's childhood friends, and so the creator was also one
Speaker 1: of the characters in Fat Albert.
Speaker 2: Bill. Oh, I wish we could leave her right there.
Speaker 2: But for the record, Bill.
Speaker 1: Cosby, I see, I was like, Fat Albert was a
Speaker 1: very important cartoon in my child. It's a shame it went,
Speaker 1: you know, the way of Bill Cosby. But still, yeah, man, no,
Speaker 1: we need an identity for the other two, Like what's
Speaker 1: their hook?
Speaker 2: Baby?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Anyway, I brought up that other thing because Bill represented
Speaker 1: the creator of the show, So maybe that cat represents you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wiers I, please don't compare me to Bill Cosby.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Wait a second, wait one second.
Speaker 1: So what is Wiener's hook? Then I know the show
Speaker 1: should have ended to me Junkyard.
Speaker 3: I'm from the Junkyard and my name is Wieners.
Speaker 2: So and she was was she abandoned or no? She
Speaker 2: was born there, but she wasn't abandoned there.
Speaker 3: No, her mom was feral, and she was feral.
Speaker 2: So you rescued the cat, but not the cat.
Speaker 3: I tried to rescue.
Speaker 2: Them, but you couldn't get her. So she's out there somewhere.
Speaker 1: There's no way, no way on earth that that fucking
Speaker 1: funeral mom cat could ever conceive that one of her
Speaker 1: cats was going to move all the way out to California.
Speaker 2: Mofucker. Don't even know who California is.
Speaker 3: I know no wis has been on a plane, has
Speaker 3: been on a plane.
Speaker 1: Could you imagine like what goes through a fucking kitten's
Speaker 1: head where it's like, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: Did anybody hearing this?
Speaker 1: I saw a dog looking out the window on a
Speaker 1: car and a play in the other well. It took
Speaker 1: Jet sweet X. Somebody brought their and the dog was
Speaker 1: looking out the window like seeing this.
Speaker 4: Are you look like?
Speaker 3: Are we really doing this? The is that really going to?
Speaker 3: The flying through this guy?
Speaker 2: That thing I'm looking down is something I usually look
Speaker 2: up at way up.
Speaker 4: This is all wrong.
Speaker 1: Line, All right, you work on the other two, because
Speaker 1: you got two out of four, you need two more personality.
Speaker 2: And they got a baby Linus. Wait, that's the Jersey Cady.
Speaker 3: That's Linus.
Speaker 2: They both sounded like the same thing.
Speaker 3: No, Linus is much more like I'm Linus.
Speaker 2: And then what's the other one just a baby.
Speaker 3: Then Wieners is like, Hi, I'm from you Jersey, a
Speaker 3: little girl.
Speaker 1: She needs a thing like, you know, fucking I always
Speaker 1: rock a yo yo or something like that. Maybe she
Speaker 1: walks with a cane, not like she needs it just
Speaker 1: to be classy, exactly, all right, she's a showcat.
Speaker 2: She needs to like stand out a little more. The
Speaker 2: other two are very.
Speaker 1: Well, these are the personalities that you gave mind you
Speaker 1: so really you like.
Speaker 3: They made me very aware?
Speaker 1: No, no, all these, all these personality traits are projections,
Speaker 1: not move You don't fucking talk, bro, so he can't
Speaker 1: be yes, he don't know you made him that.
Speaker 3: Heck no, no, he whispers to me and he's like.
Speaker 2: You manifested this world.
Speaker 1: This is like the end of the movie in the
Speaker 1: third act where you find out that you created all
Speaker 1: of this. You find out like you created me too,
Speaker 1: that I'm a figment of that. You're on so much
Speaker 1: acid that you fucking imagine father who had a low
Speaker 1: level career in entertainment, just enough to afford a private
Speaker 1: school education and some decent food and ship like that.
Speaker 2: So it's good acid, but not great. It only takes
Speaker 2: your fantasy.
Speaker 4: So far where it's like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I guess that's better than my present situation,
Speaker 1: but it ain't as good as like it could be.
Speaker 3: It's pretty good.
Speaker 2: You got a power up with better acid and ship
Speaker 2: You're like, oh my god, my dad is Nolan asked
Speaker 2: because he's Nolan himself.
Speaker 3: I'll take better acid next time. Why did I just
Speaker 3: sound like Uncle Malcolm?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: And also you didn't even bump into the taking acid part.
Speaker 1: Really you're supposed to be like, when do I ever
Speaker 1: take acid?
Speaker 3: I've never take I don't think I would take acid?
Speaker 2: Right? Fu you up? You would watch a mushroom? Right?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: You fuck with the mushroom.
Speaker 3: I feel a little, but I heard.
Speaker 2: I thought I heard someone else.
Speaker 1: I did little mushroom. Your mom's friend Trish, who's my
Speaker 1: friend as well. Trish gave your mom chocolate mushroom chocolate,
Speaker 1: and so I was like, all right, let's give it
Speaker 1: a shot.
Speaker 2: And I ate a good. There's like five rows and
Speaker 2: I ate three.
Speaker 1: So it says like, take one piece and see how
Speaker 1: you feel in a half an hour, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: let's see.
Speaker 2: So I fucking went deeper than that, and it was time.
Speaker 2: I was giggly.
Speaker 3: I was very good.
Speaker 1: I was watching we were watching the show and there
Speaker 1: was a dude doing the news report. So we were
Speaker 1: watching people talk about drone footage. This one fucking dude
Speaker 1: in California had the most painted on eyebrows. He looked
Speaker 1: like he was trying to do Eugene Levy for Christmas.
Speaker 4: Or not Christmas Halloween.
Speaker 2: Like it looked like it was cosplaying. So I was
Speaker 2: really dialed in. I was like, are you seeing this?
Speaker 1: And she's like what. I was like, are you seeing
Speaker 1: his eyebrows? Like his eyebrows are really painted on?
Speaker 2: And she's like no, no.
Speaker 1: I was like, get closer to the TV, like you're
Speaker 1: not telling me those are his real eyebrries.
Speaker 2: She's like, well, he's got makeup. I was like, there's makeup,
Speaker 2: and then there's this. This seems like a real chore.
Speaker 2: I don't even know if he has eyebrows under that.
Speaker 1: These just look like two giant Eugene Levey swaths across it.
Speaker 2: I was like, who let him on TV? Like, she's like,
Speaker 2: you're I think you're high. I was like, I don't
Speaker 2: think I'm high. You're not seeing this. I was like,
Speaker 2: if you're not seeing this, I think you're high.
Speaker 3: My god.
Speaker 1: It was very noticeable. And then there's another news report
Speaker 1: where a guy who kept talking and he had like
Speaker 1: a like an onyx ring, like it was black, so
Speaker 1: it really was prominent.
Speaker 2: And I was like, are you seeing this? And she's
Speaker 2: like what now?
Speaker 1: And I was like that ring doesn't look fucking weird
Speaker 1: to you, and she's like, what do you mean weird?
Speaker 1: I was like, it's so crazy.
Speaker 2: Prominent it I guess.
Speaker 1: She was like, well, it's the only prominent because it's
Speaker 1: like a darker color, it's the angle.
Speaker 2: I was like, no, it's not that. Something's going on here.
Speaker 2: So she was like, that's the US.
Speaker 3: What a weirdo. It makes you like detail orients, what's
Speaker 3: going on? When normally you're like what color are your eyes?
Speaker 4: Exactly?
Speaker 3: You're like, cat, goodbye.
Speaker 2: There's your beardless stickless me for this week. For beardless
Speaker 2: stickless me and Kevin Smith. You were waiting on that
Speaker 2: you could just dove in there.
Speaker 4: They must know by now.
Speaker 1: But fair enough, fair enough tradition for beerdless dicklas MOA, I'm.
Speaker 3: Kevin Smith, I'm Harley Quinn Smith.
Speaker 2: Go have yourself one of them. Beardless dickless days.
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