Transcript for Ep3:
Welcome to Every Mother Matters. I'm Sharon and in this episode, I will be sharing with you why I setup MBC Wellness.
My pregnancy was wonderful. I just felt physically tired growing a fetus inside me. Putting on weight to grow a healthy baby was perfectly a wonderful experience too. My 40 hour of labour was fine as I only experienced discomfort as baby shifted his position 2 days before the labour, which pressed against my nerve and caused nerve pain at the lower back, at the sacrum area. My challenge started after being discharged from the hospital when I, as an inexperienced new mother, was left alone to take care of a newborn baby. That was simply crazy for any new inexperienced first time mother!
I did not engage a confinement nanny or order confinement meal after I birthed my first baby.
The initial plan was that my husband applied for one month leave to help me and I was very happy about the arrangement.
I always wanted a full term baby and I checked with my gynae how many weeks passed my expected date of delivery before he would take any action. I was very fearful of hospital and any medical intervention or childbirth complication.
My mother-in-law told me that my baby would be born at least two weeks earlier because it was normally the case when the first pregnancy was a baby boy. I did not want to take that into me. So I told my baby that his Edd was 15th Nov and so when he was ready, he could choose the most 2 days earlier to be born on the 13th Nov or passed the Edd date which was on the 16, 17 or 18th Nov. In my heart, I was thinking 18th would be perfect.
My husband listened to his mother and all the aunts and applied one month leave. He did not discuss with me when to start taking the leave.
When my baby was born passed Edd on the 18th Nov and when we were discharged and back home on a Sunday, my husband had finished his one month leave and back to work the next day and I was left alone with my baby.
My mother-in-law came to bathe my baby and helped me out a bit.
My husband was with me for a month but not at the time when I really needed help after the baby was born.
I was very upset that I did not rest enough and my varicose veins became permanent.
I was emotionally and physically exhausted and it affected my mental health. I was taking care of my baby but I greatly neglected my own health.
I initially planned to exclusively breastfeed my baby. On the first day, I room in with my baby. My baby was sleeping a lot and did not wake up for milk. I was too tired to watch the clock to know what time I should breastfeed my baby. On the second day. there were nurse and lactation consultant to help me with latching. My major issue was that I could not do it without help. Then baby’s weight was dropping 10% his birth weight.
The doctor told me baby was hungry. He said that there was sign that my baby’s weight continue to drop and he suggested feeding formula. I told him that I hardly fed him because he did not wake up for milk. On the third day, baby had jaundice and was under treatment for two days. He was too tired to latch and so I pumped my milk and I got only 15 ml after an hour of pump using the dual pump I rented from the hospital.
Back home, I tried one hour to latch but I could not. My mother-in-law and my husband were besides me, watching me but they could not offer me any help. I did not grow up in an environment where I see other women breastfeeding and I had no experience at all.
After one hour of trying, we finally turned to formula milk. We ending up mainly feeding formula. As latching was difficult, I tried to pump my milk. My mother-in-law suddenly pressed my breast when I entered the bedroom and commented that everyone else had milk except me.
When my baby was bigger, it was easier to latch. When my mother-in-law saw me breastfeeding, she commented that my baby and I always “stick together”.
My husband tried to let me breastfeed but he later commented that breastfeeding was disgusting.
I believe that every woman has milk but it is very much a learned skill and knowledge. Having supporting family members around is important.
One midnight, I had engorgement on my left breast and it felt hard like rock and was very painful. I had no knowledge of how to handle it. Eventually, I pumped exclusively and I had only 80 ml of breastmilk a day. My baby was mainly on formula milk. I continued pumping until my first baby was 1 year old.
It was as challenging for my second baby and I had only 80 ml of breastmilk a day, but I exclusively pump until 14 months.
After the birth of my 2 children and going through all the hard times, I had made a decision to reach out to other women and support them in their smooth transition to motherhood. I feel that every woman should be respected and supported of her choice because it is her body and her baby.
When I had a maid, I started to take various courses- Pre n Postnatal massage, postpartum doula, moxibustion warm therapy, baby massage instructor and baby language course instructor. I formed Mummy Baby Care in 2014 providing home visit services.
I knew that my body had a lot of wind and coldness. I wanted to learn some Chinese techniques and by chance I came across moxibustion warm therapy. I learned and at that time, I paid student price to have the therapist did moxi for me. 2 years later I asked my moxi trainer to recommend me a suitable spa as I wanted to do it as a long-term maintenance. It took me 6 months to expel coldness from my body and my overall well-being improved.
After 8 months of moxibustion warm therapy, my therapist asked if I were keen to takeover the shop unit as she was moving to another place. I wanted to have a shop but I was not ready at that time. After much considerations, I decided to take over and so in 2018, I incorporated MBC Wellness specializing in moxibustion warm therapy. With a shop, I can reach out to more families by teaching baby class too.
Over the years, I have taught new parents, infant care teachers and helpers in taking better care of the newborn. They could take away the guessing game and hear what the baby was really telling them.
The major part of what I am doing is to continue to upgrade myself with new knowledge and skill so that I can be an informed and updated educator to new parents. A mother’s health is so important to her newborn and family but often neglected due to the lack of understanding of her physiological needs as a new mother and the long term effect on her overall well-being and on her family.
I am grateful to my husband, who takes care of our kids and he is a good cook too. Without him, I am not able to do what I want to do which is spending most of my time working and studying.
3 takeaways:-
I was living without purpose in life before the birth of my 2 children. After I went through post natal depression, I decided to support other mothers in their smooth transition to motherhood.
I believe every mother does not need to learn through mistakes, in fact they can prepare early and learn during pregnancy. That is the reason why I set up MBC Wellness.
I wanted to achieve my dream to support more mothers with my skills and knowledge.
No dream is too big or too small. Take action now. Don’t die with regret.
Finding our life purpose and direction are important. If not, life is just wasted. The sooner we know what our life purpose is, the earlier we can get into the business of doing it.
I hope my story has inspired you to realise that you have a dream and purpose in life too.
You can connect with me through my facebook, Instagram and Linkedin and my links will be in the show notes.
I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you more tips and stories.