Every Damn Thing

Dave Hause helps us add 90s alter-ego Chris Gaines-- and re-rank sex-- on the List of Every Damn Thing.

Show Notes

Phil, Jake and Jason are joined by returning champion singer-songwriter Dave Hause to rank the questionable experiment Chris Gaines on the List of Every Damn Thing. Plus we re-rank sex!

Follow Dave on Instagram (@davehause), Twitter (@hausedave) and Facebook (DaveHauseMusic). You can find his songs on Spotify & Apple Music. If you’re in Europe, here's the info on Dave’s upcoming Germany / Austria shows. Most dates are sold out, so get on it for the ones that aren’t! 

If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

  • We make some references to ASMR, which stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (sometimes Auto Sensory Meridian Response). It’s not always, or maybe not even usually, a sex thing.
  • Kink-shaming is something Phil's always trying not to do.
  • “Asparagus Tarzan”(Spargeltarzan) is a German slang term of endearment / insult equivalent to “stringbean” or “beanpole” in English. Here's some etymology. The name comes from a description of famous skinny German footballer, Hans Bongartz.
  • “Friends in Low Places” was written by Dewayne Blackwell and Earl Bud Lee. As expected, there’s nothing on the internet saying that either of them didn’t spend all their songwriting proceeds on taking their family to the movies. 
  • We discuss a few male celebrities with “can I speak to the manager” haircuts, including The Goo-Goo Dolls’ Johnny Rzeznik, Country singer Keith Urban and Criss Angel
  • We go into some detail about the CD booklet pics from the album Garth Brooks in… The Life of Chris Gaines, including the one featuring his creamy hammies.
  • The similarity between Gaines and Zoolander is uncanny but we think they're both going for the same thing. It's like how calculus was invented by Newton and Leibniz at the same time.
  • We talk about how the rapper Spice 1 sometimes switches mid-song into a dancehall influenced persona named Reggaengsta. A good example is from Clip & the Trigga.
  • Luke the Drifter was an alter-ego that Hank Williams used for more explicitly religious material. Here's a little poem/sermon that's maybe a little ahead of its time, "Too Many Parties and Too Many Pals".
  • Hank Williams, Jr. was apparently given the nickname Bocephus by his father, as he rocked in the cradle. 
  • We talk a bit about Eminem’s alter-ego Slim Shady. Here’s a link to Feminem, who may or may not be related.
  • Here's Chris Tucker in a recent standup special talking about Blade himself.
  • We mention George Clooney, whose friends (aka Jason) know him as the “Cloontang”.
  • Here’s the Childish Gambino cover of Chris Gaines’  “Lost in You”.
  • We talk about the Greg Album / Cher project Allman & Woman. Greg Allman has yet to be ranked on the List of Everything but his ex-wife Cher can currently be found at #7. 
  • The Jay-Z / R. Kelly album is called Best of Both Worlds.

YouTube * Tiktok * flossing * Crocs * Germans * asparagus pee * Zak Baggans * Garth Brooks * Trisha Yearwood * Saturday Night Live * Bret Michaels * Pee-Wee Herman * air * Paris Hilton * “Free Your Mind” by En Vogue * Paul Westerberg / Grandpaboy * Bad Religion * Cinderella (the princess) * bricks * Cheech & Chong * Spaceballs * Barry Bonds * The Last Starfighter * crushed ice * Prince * Dolly Parton * anticipation * volcels * masturbation * It’s-It * Donald Duck * Clement Street in San Francisco * interspecies animal friends * coffee

Below are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here):

  1. Dolly Parton - person
  2. interspecies animal friends - idea
  3. sex - idea
  4. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
  5. Prince - person
  6. It’s-It - food
  7. Cher - person
  8. Pee-Wee Herman - fictional character
  9. Donald Duck - fictional character
  10. Hank Williams - person


161. Jenny McCarthy - person
162. Jon Voight - person
163. Hank Williams, Jr - person
164. British Royal Family - institution
165. Steven Seagal - person
166. McRib - food
167. war - idea
168. cigarettes - drug
169. QAnon - idea
170. transphobia - idea

Theme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan, Phil Green & Jason Marmor.

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Email us at list@everydamnthing.net

What is Every Damn Thing?

Phil and Jake rank everything.