Transcript

Speaker 1: What advantage has the worker from his toil? I've considered the task that God has appointed for the sons of men to be busied about. He has made everything appropriate to its time, and he has put the timeless into their hearts. Without man's ever discovering from beginning to end the work which God has done.

Speaker 2: Welcome back to Scripture for your inner outcasts. Today is September 25th, 2026. Friday of the 25th Week in Ordinary Time. Today we're joined by Pam Malinoski, the integrator at Souls and Hearts.

Speaker 1: Ecclesiastes chapter three. What advantage has the worker from his toil? I've considered the task that God has appointed for the sons of men to be busied about. He has made everything appropriate to its time, and he has put the timeless into their hearts. Without man's ever discovering from beginning to end the work which God has done, it was hard for me to select just a snippet from today's first reading, because I think it captures a really important aspect of our human formation work that there's a time for everything. You know, when we talk to you beloved exiles or about our own exiles in this podcast, it's easy to regret. As a mom, I often worry that my own sinfulness and imperfections are creating exiles in my children. And when I think about addressing you exiles in these episodes, I feel sad thinking about all the pain and suffering that so many of you carry in your day to day lives. But today's reading reminds me that we can't have healing without that suffering, and that in God's great providence, there's a time for both. So today, I'd like to share something that came up with a new exile of mine during this year's Resilient Catholic Community in-person retreat that happened last month in Bloomington, Indiana. I always walk away with a new insight from this retreat, and this year, I had so many memories and thoughts come together and into focus for me in this human formation work. So one day I was working with my parts and I met a very young part, a little girl who's about six years old, and she told me her name was Kelly.

Speaker 1: I think that name came from the fact that I loved the color Kelly Green as a child. I could picture her as joyful and carefree, just sort of running and skipping through my imagination. And alongside that image, a memory of a situation from my childhood also resurfaced during school. One day when I was in about first grade, I was asked to answer these questions, and one of the questions was whether or not I was important to my family. And looking back, I think Kelly answered that question, thinking in her six year old mind that my dad was important because he went to work and that my mom was important because she cooked and cleaned and took care of my sister and me. But carefree, joyful me didn't do anything like that, so I must not be important. Well, when my mom saw that, I answered no, that I wasn't important to my family. She cried. And it was the only time that I ever saw my mom cry. And my six year old self was the person who made her cry. So I think from that point forward, Kelly was exiled in my system. She picked up this burden of shame, of hurting my mom, who was obviously very important in what came to me on retreat, was that I think that at that point, I started associating being not important with playfulness and joy and with hurting my mom. And so as I grew up, my protective parts didn't want to hurt people and wanted to be important.

Speaker 1: And so I abandoned that carefree playfulness for organization, efficiency, and hard work of my managers. Obviously, those are good things, and I was well rewarded with the people around me for doing them. But now I sometimes think my husband and I lament the fact that we don't really know how to play very well. And I think that's partly because of these events that I just shared. But now that I've met Kelly and all these pieces have sort of fallen into place through my work, it's time for some healing. It's time to update Kelly. That playfulness and joy are not bad, useless, or frivolous things. And it's a time for her to have a new role within my system. And what she would like to do is really take the role of playing with my grandchildren, who are starting to be born and grow up around me. So all those events, good and bad and others like them in my life, had a time, a purpose in my past. They made me who I am today and have given me the opportunity to care for my exiles in a new, loving way today. In this time. What about you? Is it time for you exiles to share your story yet? Is it time to begin to trust your innermost self and other parts in your system? Is it time to let go of your burdens? Is it time to heal and find a new role within your system?

Speaker 2: We really appreciate all of you, dear listeners, and if you haven't already, I'd invite you to subscribe and leave a review of this podcast on whatever platform you're listening to it on. Doing so really helps us to spread this message to others.

Speaker 1: Let's close with our invocations. Our Lady Untier of knots. Pray for us. Saint Joseph, pray for us. Saint John the Baptist pray for us.