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Hello all you beautiful creatures.

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Hello, my mystics and witches
and beautiful weirdos.

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Today on the podcast, we are
going to talk about shadow work.

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And that is a good idea.

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Yes.

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Let's talk, shadow work.

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Shall we?

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Most of you lovely listeners probably
are very well versed in this work.

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And exactly what it means.

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And you're already doing it.

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And for the rest of you, I imagine
you were probably also doing it,

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but you just may not know it.

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Or you may know it by another name, or
maybe you didn't even know it had a name.

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So for the sake of clarity and to make
sure that we're all on the same page.

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Let's put out a loose definition of
what shadow work is, at least to me.

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For me, it's those aspects of myself
that are triggering or embarrassing.

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And that are really easy to see
in other people, but may not

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be as easy to see in ourselves.

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It's working on those aspects
and the parts of ourselves

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that we wish weren't there.

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They may be the parts of our
personality that were formed to handle

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trauma or hardships that we endured.

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And I am so glad that you are here today
to be with us as we discuss shadow.

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And in case you don't know me,
or if it's your first time here.

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My name is Meena Melissa Leigh.

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And this is the She
Who Is Seeking Podcast.

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And I want to thank you for taking
the time out of your day to come

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and be in conversation about this.

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And why don't you go ahead
and make sure that you have

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something delicious to drink?

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I feel like that's very important so
make yourself maybe a nice cup of tea.

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And maybe you want to go on a walk
or, just have me accompany you while

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you pitter-patter around the house.

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So if you're comfortable,
then we can move on.

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So I'm feeling a collective pull that
we all may have another layer coming up.

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And that we may all be ready
to do a shadow striptease.

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So yes.

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Shadow work is about being brave
in putting on your sexiest coat and

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galoshes and getting in that pig
pen of human emotions and cleaning

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it out so, you know, what's what.

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It's also about uncovering the unseen
aspects of your personality and

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experiences that may cause you to react.

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Because when you're extremely reactive,
then you're probably not reacting.

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Or behaving in a way that you love when
you look at it with a more analytical

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lens or after you've cooled down.

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So people do their own
work in their own order.

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But I would say this kind of ties
into the episode where I spoke

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about really embracing my own light,
and being able to shine, and being

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love from the depths of my heart.

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And all that being true.

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But I really had sort of
shelved the darker stuff.

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So I was thinking that it's kind
of like a spiritual water bottle.

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Like a spiritual plastic water bottle.

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That is not going to go anywhere until
you recycle it into something else.

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Leaving it there, it's
not going to disintegrate.

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It's not going to transform in its
own, it will not compost on its own.

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It will not disappear.

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You have to get in there and do something.

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And we all have seen those items
that are made from recycled things,

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and it's hard to believe that
something that amazing could be made

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from what is essentially garbage.

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I had done the shadow work.

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But for me, I hadn't gotten
to the bottom of that pig pen.

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And I didn't realize that under all
that mud, there was a lot of hidden

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treasures still to be uncovered.

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Learning to see the patterns that were
running in the background was an important

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step in being aware of, well, everything.

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You do not have to have the end goal
of being rid of your shadow forever.

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And in fact, I don't even
think that that's possible.

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I think what is possible is that you
really become aware of those things that

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are being funneled from the channels
of darkness in from un-dealt-with

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parts of your life, and that are
feeding that darkness in that shadow.

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And you get to the bottom of what's
going on so that you can see it clearly.

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And that's the remarkable thing
to me, is it's so much easier to

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see a pattern in someone else.

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And I would say I am a
professional shadow seer.

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I can see my own dark shadows
and patterns because I personally

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have had decades of practice.

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Usually tough, never comfortable practice.

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My darkness is pointed
and jagged and heavy.

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But I have mad skills
at carrying it around.

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And I am a Taurus.

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And we're used to managing a high
level of uncomfortable things.

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But we do so because we want that
delicious pleasure at the end.

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So I've learned to see shadow clearly
because I was young and in pain.

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And I was a master at throwing shade.

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So there was a lot of shadow on display.

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But not just shadow.

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There was a real darkness, and a
crippling sadness, and a scary anger.

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In my youth, I was reactionary,
impulsive, and really, really

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desperate to hide at all.

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And when I think back to those times, I
have so much compassion for younger me.

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I was literally just
doing the best I could.

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The way that you learn to see your own
shadow is by seeing things you hate the

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most about yourself in anyone but you.

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And that's where a lot of people's
experience with the whole work ends.

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They're just triggered left and right
by how annoying other people are and

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how obnoxious everyone else seems to be.

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And somehow they're able to
hide the truth from themselves

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about what's really happening.

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In my experience, these are
the same people who stay angry,

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frustrated, and on edge all the time.

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Because they spend all their energy
trying to outrun these dark demons

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rather than standing to fight them.

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And I know this because I was this.

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I've done many a demon slaying
and shadow taming in my time.

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And I still work at it.

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Every.

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Single.

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Day.

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Becoming aware of your shadow and your
golden shadow becomes a great resource.

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I always had a feeling that my shadow
and all of my darkness doesn't easily

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fit into the toolbox of a light worker.

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the way someone else's might.

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That there was just more darkness
and baggage and skeletons and garbage

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in my past, compared to what I
felt was a quote, "normal amount".

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And I did do therapy and journal
and read and self-help books

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and I kept the trail hot.

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To all of the witchy new age
stores that blessed the 1990s.

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And man, there was a lot of cool
underground places back then.

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This is a digression, but back
then, you had to know about

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these places by word of mouth.

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And somebody had to tell you
about them and you had to get

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there using a Thomas guide.

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And if you are too young to know about
Thomas guides, you should Google it

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and then you will be so happy that
you have navigation on your phone

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because I'm telling you if you had
an old one, cause they were crazy

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expensive, then there would be new
streets that existed that were not in

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your Thomas guide and you would have
no idea what the hell was going on.

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So digression over.

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But, I mean that is what brings a lot of
us to this liminal space to begin with.

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Right?

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Like we're in fucking pain.

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And we need help.

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And we need something bigger
than us to fix the problem.

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But it's not easy.

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It's just never that easy.

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And if it was, we would just turn
it over to Spirit and work our

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spells, and then that would be it.

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And all that we have to do-- just
dear goddess, it takes forever, but

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we learn in this healing journey.

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We learn about ourselves and the pain.

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Our perception of the
acts of our perpetrators.

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We untangle.

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We unpack.

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We mourn and rage, we shed and we repeat.

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And, it's true that there are so many
layers of ourselves and our healing.

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And so many of us have lived in pain,
but we come out on the other side.

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It's those layers, right?

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I would say the biggest difference
between then and now are threefold.

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Back then I still lived in hell realms.

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I worked in them.

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My friends were in them.

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And no one, I knew knew any
different, no one knew better.

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You did the work of some healing,
and then you just like, got back to

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the club or whatever you were doing.

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I was still in relationships that
caused me pain and everyone around

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me was still in their very dark
place and on their own dark journey.

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The next thing was, there was very
little resources or options back then.

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And I didn't have the evidence or
real belief that I could do it.

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That I could really find a sense of peace.

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There just was no social
proof at that point.

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And finally the most critical part,
I think, was this mindset piece.

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I was very positive.

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And I was a loving person.

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But I was a lot of pain and my mindset
was that I saw myself as broken.

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And this is an error I
made time and time again.

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Seeing the struggle and
thinking I'm just too damaged.

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I am too broken.

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I should just lean in and accept that.

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And that was definitely an error of
the times and a commonly held belief.

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And we damaged, fragile,
fascinating souls, found each other.

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And we did great and beautiful
things, wild and dangerous things.

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And that eventually, hopefully
you live long enough and things

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change, and you outgrow skins
and toxic people and attitudes.

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And eventually you find
a teacher or a mentor.

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That holds your gaze long enough and
holds a space for you to roll around

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with all those layers of your muck.

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And how could I have freedom
when I was caged in by others and

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I was caged in by my old self?

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I heard that Yogi Bhajan, and this
is an ironic quote I heard that Yogi

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Bhajan would say that those with the
biggest light cast the darkest shadow.

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And that is an interesting and
potentially triggering quote.

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Because he himself was selling
the dream of being a higher being.

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Being a God man, a safe space, a
spiritual teacher who had the answers.

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And could teach you to be a teacher.

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And yet, there are so many
allegations of abuse that have

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surfaced over the many years.

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And do you know why?

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Part of that is because we're human.

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We cannot be perfect.

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It is impossible.

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There's just too many interesting things
that are unfolding in these times.

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I'm seeing the work that this older
self-identified, damaged and broken

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generation X and older really
paved for younger generations.

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Only in that this feeling that
we are whole and perfect is true.

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And yet it's not the whole
story because we are whole and

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perfect and pure perfection.

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But we are also complex and have
darkness and shadow and struggles.

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We've never been perfect as a
society and we're definitely not now.

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And yet, some cancel culture is
completely appropriate because there's

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people who do things that are far
worse than should be acceptable.

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But also I posit the theory that
when we're so quick to judge others

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for the things in their past that we
make it challenging to be truthful

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and honest about who we really are.

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We make it too frightening to become
honest about the challenges that we've

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endured or the dark path that we have
to walk alone to get where we are.

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There can be truth in the statement
that people never change and you

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can't teach a dog new tricks.

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But that's only true if the
person wants it to be true.

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What is more accurate, I think, is
that you have a growth mindset, and you

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can learn each and every day, and get
better each and every day, and become

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more of the person that you want to be.

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Shining that golden light, and a lot of
times that happens by trial and error.

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And sometimes, that trial and error
is absolute bullshit behavior.

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And I have journals and journals to show
that I have a lot of that in my past.

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And it's that thing that fueled me,
and protected me, and it also gave me

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the suit of armor that got me through
years when my skin was just too tender

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to go into the world unprotected.

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But energy is energy,
and it doesn't vanish.

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To have given away those
experiences or deny them would

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have been to give away my power.

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And it doesn't weigh me down.

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The pain is not fresh in my heart
eternally, but I am affected.

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I am colored by it.

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It gives me power and insight that those
who come to healing professions with

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unsoiled backgrounds cannot truly grasp.

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They may understand it
on an intellectual level.

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You can be trained to read the
signs, trained to deepen your

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empathy and your compassion.

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But the way I see it is I
am empathy and compassion.

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Those are two guideposts that keep me
connected, open, and able to serve.

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And again, I'm human and I make mistakes.

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See, there was one right there.

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I'm human and I make mistakes
and I get mad, but I look

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into why I just want to learn.

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I don't have anything to prove.

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In the recent past, I've had so
many opportunities to test this out.

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I don't always make the best of
it immediately, but it's about

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a 48 hour turnaround for the
really dramatically bad stuff.

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And I think about it, I figure out
what happened that I didn't like,

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what it meant, why it happened.

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And I think that that's good enough for
today and I will keep working on it.

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I have this strength forged from
carrying the weight of these things

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around, and I carried them so long,
and I knew them so intimately, and

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I've learned all of their gifts.

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And I can still remember their weight.

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I can sense them in my
shadow, like a cloak.

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But I own that cloak and yet it is not me.

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I know it's there and it's by choice.

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There's nothing wrong
with having a shadow self.

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In my humble opinion, I think the only
thing that is wrong is to ignore it.

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As for the technical aspects of doing
shadow work, I'm going to assume that

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most people listening are familiar
and maybe just needed a little

00:19:30.440 --> 00:19:34.420
reminder that there may be another
collective layer to work on right now.

00:19:35.810 --> 00:19:42.950
But if you have not been doing shadow
work or want to learn more about it, there

00:19:43.100 --> 00:19:47.480
is a lot of great information online.

00:19:47.810 --> 00:19:48.720
You could look into it.

00:19:49.340 --> 00:19:52.160
Check a couple different places
and sort of make your own

00:19:52.160 --> 00:19:53.840
decision on what it means to you.

00:19:54.530 --> 00:19:58.670
But the main thing is
just, don't be afraid.

00:19:59.570 --> 00:20:00.820
It's okay if it doesn't feel great.

00:20:02.030 --> 00:20:05.920
It's okay if it's a little scary or if it
kind of hurts or if it's super annoying.

00:20:06.920 --> 00:20:11.960
Because in the long run, it is so freeing.

00:20:13.340 --> 00:20:18.800
It's kind of like doing all
your homework on Friday night.

00:20:18.830 --> 00:20:20.420
So you have the whole weekend to enjoy.

00:20:21.800 --> 00:20:24.520
It's like, but like, for your spirit.

00:20:26.020 --> 00:20:26.920
So.

00:20:28.420 --> 00:20:31.810
I just want to thank you for
being brave and doing the work.

00:20:33.310 --> 00:20:37.660
Something I'd like to talk
about soon is the golden shadow.

00:20:38.380 --> 00:20:39.720
Because that's a whole thing.

00:20:40.900 --> 00:20:44.830
But for now, stay connected to
the work that makes you feel

00:20:44.830 --> 00:20:46.060
like you're on the right path.

00:20:47.080 --> 00:20:50.680
Stay connected to the people who
make you feel lighter and brighter.

00:20:51.280 --> 00:20:56.800
Stay connected to your inner wise
being, for doing things in nature with

00:20:56.830 --> 00:21:01.520
all the glorious trees and breezes and
tiny little plants and chirping birds.

00:21:03.020 --> 00:21:07.160
Never think that you're behind because
there is no such thing, and never

00:21:07.160 --> 00:21:12.320
think that you're evil or terrible or
worthless because it's just not true.

00:21:12.350 --> 00:21:17.210
We all have bad days, and
often we're better for it.--

00:21:18.710 --> 00:21:20.160
once we get to the other side.

00:21:21.660 --> 00:21:25.830
I would love to hear from
you and I'd love to know.

00:21:26.640 --> 00:21:32.070
What you're getting out of this
podcast or whether you have anything

00:21:32.070 --> 00:21:33.360
that you'd like for me to talk.

00:21:34.860 --> 00:21:39.960
And I have a phone hotline now,
like an old school hotline.

00:21:41.100 --> 00:21:44.560
So, it is the she who is
seeking telephone hotline.

00:21:45.510 --> 00:21:46.060
Area code.

00:21:46.830 --> 00:21:50.560
6 5 7 3 3 3 4 6 4 0.

00:21:51.300 --> 00:21:53.520
Which spelled out on your key pad.

00:21:54.060 --> 00:21:54.870
Okay.

00:21:55.020 --> 00:21:55.760
Seeking.

00:21:56.070 --> 00:21:56.700
Zero.

00:21:57.840 --> 00:22:00.750
Because even though we're all
seeking something, we don't have

00:22:00.750 --> 00:22:03.760
to be, we're fine the way we are,
we don't have to look for nothing.

00:22:05.260 --> 00:22:09.670
And it's also true that most of
us are hard wired to be looking

00:22:09.670 --> 00:22:12.610
for something deeper and bigger
than ourselves, so if you want to

00:22:12.610 --> 00:22:14.350
talk about that or anything else.

00:22:14.980 --> 00:22:22.180
Leave me a little old fashioned voice
message at area code 6 5 7 3 3 3 4 6 4 0.

00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:26.620
And I would also like to say.

00:22:27.070 --> 00:22:32.350
That I am sure I don't have to mention
that these podcasts are not perfect.

00:22:32.920 --> 00:22:39.580
Sometimes I leave in mistakes
and part of that is because I'm

00:22:39.580 --> 00:22:40.750
just trying to keep it real.

00:22:40.750 --> 00:22:45.550
And part of it is because I'm
trying not to be a perfectionist

00:22:45.580 --> 00:22:50.620
and part of it is because
perfectionism is the enemy of done.

00:22:51.550 --> 00:22:57.610
And I just really have connected
to the fact that when we want

00:22:57.610 --> 00:23:02.920
something to be perfect and we're
overthinking it, then chances are

00:23:02.920 --> 00:23:04.750
it's not ever going to get done.

00:23:05.530 --> 00:23:10.541
And I've had too much of that
in my life and I'm over  it.

00:23:11.051 --> 00:23:16.241
So yeah, sometimes they say words really
weird and sometimes I leave them in.

00:23:17.321 --> 00:23:18.431
And I do that in real life.

00:23:18.461 --> 00:23:20.771
It's not like I can edit
it in real life, right?

00:23:21.101 --> 00:23:26.851
So if you know me in real life, you--see,
I even said the word real "weirdly" right

00:23:26.901 --> 00:23:29.771
there, even "weirdl"y sounded weird.

00:23:30.161 --> 00:23:30.251
Okay.

00:23:30.701 --> 00:23:31.181
On that note?

00:23:31.211 --> 00:23:31.571
Yes.

00:23:31.841 --> 00:23:32.551
Let's wrap up.

00:23:34.051 --> 00:23:41.521
The beautiful song is called Snake
River and it is by Siren in the Sea.

00:23:42.661 --> 00:23:45.661
And I really just can't thank
you enough for listening.

00:23:46.141 --> 00:23:49.741
And if you want to connect
with me and my weirdness.

00:23:50.131 --> 00:23:52.451
I'm on Instagram at @shewhoisseeking.

00:23:53.951 --> 00:24:02.161
Or you can sign up for occasional
chitty chat and updates and maybe

00:24:02.161 --> 00:24:08.491
like get let in on the secret,
in the know stuff on my website.

00:24:09.241 --> 00:24:12.821
You can sign up and it's
shewhoisseeking.com.

00:24:14.191 --> 00:24:18.661
And once again, thank you so much and
I love you, and I hope that you find

00:24:19.141 --> 00:24:22.351
something magic in each and every day.

00:24:22.651 --> 00:24:25.561
And if you want to talk about the shadow
work that you're doing, or if you want

00:24:25.561 --> 00:24:30.401
to tell me, like screw myself because
you don't want to do your shadow work.

00:24:30.431 --> 00:24:31.231
Let's talk about it.

00:24:32.681 --> 00:24:34.331
Okay love you bye!

00:24:35.831 --> 00:24:36.281
Okay.

00:24:36.341 --> 00:24:37.581
I have one more thing to say.

00:24:38.531 --> 00:24:43.151
I am reserving the right for this
topic and all topics to talk about

00:24:43.151 --> 00:24:44.681
them again, but you already know that.

00:24:45.341 --> 00:24:48.311
I mean to me, all these
things are so interwoven.

00:24:48.731 --> 00:24:53.831
It's almost a challenge to tangle
them apart long enough to talk

00:24:53.831 --> 00:24:58.151
about a topic 'cause geez Louise,
isn't it all the same thing?

00:24:59.171 --> 00:25:06.011
Like this journey of healing and work and
magic and shedding and transformation.

00:25:06.461 --> 00:25:08.251
Like you can't do one without the other.

00:25:08.651 --> 00:25:09.161
It is.

00:25:10.091 --> 00:25:11.921
It's all part of the web.

00:25:13.331 --> 00:25:14.651
It's all part of the web.

00:25:16.151 --> 00:25:17.061
I'm gonna leave you on that note.

00:25:18.561 --> 00:25:19.881
Give that some thinks.

00:25:21.381 --> 00:25:22.101
K bye!

00:25:23.601 --> 00:25:30.891
So I always pull a card and the one
I pulled for today was The Serpent.

00:25:32.391 --> 00:25:37.521
Action: the more we know about
ourselves, especially our shadow sounds,

00:25:38.181 --> 00:25:43.211
the more we understand the people
in our lives, and society at scale.

00:25:44.391 --> 00:25:51.411
What are desires, fears and drives
that you are repressing from yourself?

00:25:52.611 --> 00:25:54.711
How can you dig them up daily?

00:25:55.611 --> 00:26:00.321
How would your life transform
if you embraced and integrated

00:26:00.321 --> 00:26:01.711
them without judgment?

00:26:03.211 --> 00:26:06.511
Don't be afraid to taste the fruit.

00:26:08.011 --> 00:26:13.651
That is your oracle wisdom
from the Pleasure Oracle deck.

00:26:15.151 --> 00:26:16.441
And I highly recommend it.

00:26:16.541 --> 00:26:18.091
It's pretty great.

00:26:19.591 --> 00:26:24.781
It's nice to just pull one from that
one because they're all just about

00:26:24.841 --> 00:26:26.821
adding more pleasure into your life.

00:26:27.631 --> 00:26:33.691
And as a Taurus with a lot of stuff
in Venus, I have to say, I highly

00:26:33.691 --> 00:26:39.001
recommend putting pleasure in all
the empty spots of your calendar.

00:26:39.841 --> 00:26:41.011
And on that note.

00:26:41.591 --> 00:26:44.921
I shall  bid you adieu so you can go
do something amazing for yourself.

00:26:46.441 --> 00:26:46.721
Aurevoir