Hello flower friends.
This is Jen and you are listening to the Floral CEO podcast.
On this week's episode, I wanna talk about something that, again, is not talked
about enough, and that is loneliness.
As a small business owner, we often have all worked in this.
Team environment or a small team, or a huge corporate culture.
And so we're used to, for one, just being around other humans.
And I know like when I quit corporate and went into, you know, really
embracing motherhood, um, after Bodhi was born and you know, just not going
to work, not being around other people like I missed being around grownups.
It was weird because I love being a florist and I love being, you know,
a small business owner, but I missed that connection of just hearing what
everybody's weekend was and hearing like about something that happened and
talking to customers all the time and like I just missed interaction and then.
You know, I often over the years have just struggled to have friends that were
as driven as I was who got that I wanted bigger, more badass things in for my life.
They literally, you are the sum of the five people that you hang around a lot
and over the years, like that person that what I was around a lot just.
Wasn't in alignment with where I'm going and I try to operate my life
as the f future version of myself, not the version of I am today.
So like if I want to be someone who is fit, who is, um, you know, like
striving to be healthier, like I am not going to keep donuts in the house.
I am going to try to be that future version of myself that is fit, that
is healthier, that has those things that are going to help support that.
And so if you are struggling and feeling lonely as in your business, maybe even
in your life, in this world we are in right now, especially after COVID,
the world is fucking weird you guys.
Like I was thinking about all the things that have changed since COVID and I was
thinking about how communication has changed and how like people just text
each other and like even in the next room, someone would text that other person
instead of just having a conversation.
And that just wasn't the case before.
Like people actually connected.
With humans on a different level, and I think that that is disconnected
us from that human connection and has further really sunk us into
this loneliness kind of factor.
And so it's completely normal.
You have a lack of coworkers to celebrate your wins or vent.
Vent frustrations with you have this.
You should be grateful that you're doing this, so you can't even admit
that you're lonely because you are living this idealistic dream
of being a small business owner.
But there can be serious impact to being lonely.
I mean, like mental health is something that, especially after COVID has
seriously just like gone off the deep end for so many people and has, as
someone who is, you know, witnessed.
Serious mental health.
I lost my sister to suicide the week I graduated high school.
So like I have seen the impact mental health.
I've, you know, been surrounded by people in my, my mother, my
father, both serious alcoholics.
I've, I've seen how mental health can impact and loneliness can
have a very negative impact.
It's can lead to overthinking, self-doubt, burnout.
And you know, you would think that you're being surrounded by clients or
employees or social media followers, but yet you feel super unseen.
Like you're posting all the highlight reels on Instagram and nobody knows
the shit sandwich you feel like, and sometimes you, you know, feel all
this weight and this responsibility in this business and you are.
Basically holding all of that weight yourself.
And that can also be super, I mean, super hard.
And I think that one thing that needs to change is that I know here in Minnesota
and you guys, if you're listening to the podcast for a while, I have worked
really hard in the Minnesota market.
That community over competition is, I say, is alive and well in Minnesota because
I have tried to help build this support network of florist supporting florists.
And then in the floral CEO Mastermind, I have created a
container that I wish I had.
I love the honest conversations in there, the like.
How the fuck do you do this?
Like I got this and I don't know what to do, or I want to get here
and I don't know how to get here, and you guys like, I'm stuck.
I'm having a hard day.
Like there has been so many different, like I can even see like when
one of the girls is, is really.
Just having a hard time, like, because I know them so well and I can see the
shift and I wanna help dig them out because I know that that community
and that support and that that really, that person being, you know, your
wing man and building your business, I know how it can change everything.
So if you are struggling in finding connection as a business owner.
Like, try to find another florist friend.
Try to find a, a, a coaching group.
I mean, try to try find Facebook groups.
Hopefully not ones that are, but definitely join the
floral CEO Facebook group.
And then if you really need that ne next level support, or you just
wanna bring your business to the next level, the floral CEO Mastermind.
You can go check out at floral ceo.com/mastermind, find a mentor,
find a business bestie who just gets you there is, I have so many industry
friends that are like photographers, videographers, makeup, like all of these
people are just like this little network of amazingness and that makes me feel so.
Like everything is so much fuller because I have so many friends that
if I wanna figure something out and the same thing goes for them, like I
have a videographer friend that's done several of my, my workshops, the, the
video shoots there and he's just like, Hey, I have a business question and.
I just, I called him and I was like, Hey, what's up?
And he is like, this happened with a client, you know, what would I do?
And he's like, explaining the client.
I'm like, she sounds bad.
Shit crazy.
I know you have a contract, but I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot
pole because she sounds like she's going to make your life difficult.
But if you don't ever even have an opportunity to ask anybody's opinion,
like you are just like sitting in this loneliness of not having
anybody to bounce anything off of.
Okay.
Then you really need to set boundaries with relationships that drain you.
I have had numerous friends who, and even my family, who just don't get it.
They just don't get what you're trying to accomplish.
They just don't get that.
You don't wanna work an eight to five job.
They just don't get that.
You have this fucking dream.
They just want you to be safe.
They want you to be small.
And it's okay for you to be done with that and, and protect yourself
that this person just doesn't get it.
And that's okay.
I still love them, but I don't have to invite them into that part
because when you're lonely and then you have that, it's compounded to
this unhealthy, you feel like shit.
You feel like you're doing the wrong thing.
They maybe unintentionally are making you feel.
That way or you've just developed this one-sided relationship because
you really just don't want any input from them about anything because you
find no value in what they have to say 'cause they just don't get it.
So learning to value, quality over quantity on, so in your social
connections in and really just who you're connecting with in general because.
You are the sum, like I said earlier, are the five people you're around most.
So if you had, and I had this, I had a person that had their fist up
wanting to fight the world all the time, which is exhausting to be around.
Everybody has ill intentions, also exhausting to be around.
The world is full of fucking idiots.
I can't believe this person did this and did you know this and did you know this?
And like all this just like deep level, crazy shit.
It is exhausting.
That is like, think of a leach and you just put like every time
they're bitching or complaining.
And I think that there can be a balance because obviously everybody
needs to vent sometimes, but if you have that person, like you just dumped
a bucket of fucking leeches on you.
And it's just sucking the life outta you.
Done not doing it, done not helpful.
So you need to do and be around people who light you up.
Um, we just had, uh, somebody come back to the mastermind after they had been in it
for a year because they're ready to bring their business again to the next level.
They're ready to grow.
But also like that energy of being around people is so helpful
as a business owner because.
You're like, am I crazy for thinking of this and having that, that kind of
venue to even be able to talk about that.
All right, then here are some things to really just like actual
strategies to combat loneliness.
Start your morning off with a check-in with yourself.
Journaling, affirmations, gratitude.
Uh, I know that it's been really helpful for me to have kind of consistent,
like just, I'm gonna go and network.
I'm gonna go and see a friend.
I'm gonna go, like, I just had my friend Alexander Robin, um, come
down to the farm and like, she took farm pictures and all these things.
So like scheduling, like regular connection with another flower friend,
with another business owner, with another wedding professional, whatever it is.
Then look at joining local or online communities for entrepreneurs.
If there's Facebook groups, the floral CEO mastermind industry meetups like we
have in here in Minnesota, we have ia, we have wpa, we have, um, Minnesota Bride.
They're having like their best of, so you get to go fancy dressed up next week.
Like there are so many things that are out there.
But a lot of times we're scared shitless to go to any of these things, and that's
where we could find our biz bestie.
So getting a little bit uncomfortable to potentially, you know, make a
friendship that could either impact, you know, your, your business from
a friendship standpoint or from a business standpoint is so important.
So just a reminder, you are not alone.
Many business owners.
I'm talking, I, I'm saying many because I have coached so many of them.
It is normal to feel alone if you are, even if you wanna send me a dm. Yep.
I am feeling really, really lonely in my business and I don't know what to do.
It is totally okay.
If you wanna send me a dm, I'm always here to listen, but like tell someone.
If you don't get it out of your, your brain, if you don't get it
out, like nobody's gonna know that you're feeling this way.
And especially if you're one of those people that just says,
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Like fine is not good and you deserve better than fine.
Then I know when I shifted to creating consistent connections
with other business owners and.
The quality of my connections removing negative.
Um, like the world is on fire, like the apocalypse is next week.
Type people.
If you have those people in your life, I know it's scary.
'cause you know what I thought is I'm not gonna have a best friend or
I'm not gonna have a lot of friends.
I'm, I'm, maybe I'm being difficult.
Maybe I'm being the one that's not really getting it.
You get it.
You, uh, your opinion is the opinion that matters and driving, you know,
those decisions to be in alignment with who you are long term is going to be
so giving and is going to make, I mean, it's evolved me into the person I am now.
I am so passionate about so many things, but I'm not passionate about
chasing everybody's problems because.
Then I'm never fixing my own, I'm never impacting the problems
that I could actually impact, and that is been so helpful for me.
Instead of like just chasing the world, I, I am really
nurturing the world that I'm in.
So thank you so much for listening.
I hope that this little message was encouraging if you are alone because.
We all are alone at some point, but we all have the power to shift
that, and I am here to support you.
Thank you so much for listening, flower friends, and you have
an amazing flower filled week.