WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:13.015 --> 00:00:14.335 Hello flower friends. 00:00:14.455 --> 00:00:18.265 This is Jen and you are listening to the Floral CEO podcast. 00:00:18.895 --> 00:00:24.865 On this week's episode, I wanna talk about something that, again, is not talked 00:00:24.865 --> 00:00:28.555 about enough, and that is loneliness. 00:00:28.615 --> 00:00:34.705 As a small business owner, we often have all worked in this. 00:00:35.170 --> 00:00:40.540 Team environment or a small team, or a huge corporate culture. 00:00:40.990 --> 00:00:44.680 And so we're used to, for one, just being around other humans. 00:00:45.190 --> 00:00:52.060 And I know like when I quit corporate and went into, you know, really 00:00:52.300 --> 00:00:59.230 embracing motherhood, um, after Bodhi was born and you know, just not going 00:00:59.230 --> 00:01:03.700 to work, not being around other people like I missed being around grownups. 00:01:04.405 --> 00:01:10.585 It was weird because I love being a florist and I love being, you know, 00:01:10.585 --> 00:01:17.485 a small business owner, but I missed that connection of just hearing what 00:01:17.485 --> 00:01:23.335 everybody's weekend was and hearing like about something that happened and 00:01:23.335 --> 00:01:30.295 talking to customers all the time and like I just missed interaction and then. 00:01:30.640 --> 00:01:37.000 You know, I often over the years have just struggled to have friends that were 00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:45.550 as driven as I was who got that I wanted bigger, more badass things in for my life. 00:01:45.910 --> 00:01:52.150 They literally, you are the sum of the five people that you hang around a lot 00:01:52.150 --> 00:01:57.280 and over the years, like that person that what I was around a lot just. 00:01:57.760 --> 00:02:04.180 Wasn't in alignment with where I'm going and I try to operate my life 00:02:04.180 --> 00:02:08.980 as the f future version of myself, not the version of I am today. 00:02:09.400 --> 00:02:19.805 So like if I want to be someone who is fit, who is, um, you know, like 00:02:19.965 --> 00:02:24.520 striving to be healthier, like I am not going to keep donuts in the house. 00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:29.740 I am going to try to be that future version of myself that is fit, that 00:02:29.740 --> 00:02:33.610 is healthier, that has those things that are going to help support that. 00:02:34.690 --> 00:02:43.990 And so if you are struggling and feeling lonely as in your business, maybe even 00:02:43.990 --> 00:02:50.470 in your life, in this world we are in right now, especially after COVID, 00:02:50.980 --> 00:02:52.990 the world is fucking weird you guys. 00:02:53.695 --> 00:02:59.575 Like I was thinking about all the things that have changed since COVID and I was 00:02:59.575 --> 00:03:05.965 thinking about how communication has changed and how like people just text 00:03:05.965 --> 00:03:12.295 each other and like even in the next room, someone would text that other person 00:03:12.295 --> 00:03:14.965 instead of just having a conversation. 00:03:15.445 --> 00:03:19.045 And that just wasn't the case before. 00:03:19.495 --> 00:03:21.775 Like people actually connected. 00:03:22.390 --> 00:03:27.700 With humans on a different level, and I think that that is disconnected 00:03:27.700 --> 00:03:34.750 us from that human connection and has further really sunk us into 00:03:34.750 --> 00:03:37.780 this loneliness kind of factor. 00:03:38.470 --> 00:03:40.330 And so it's completely normal. 00:03:40.330 --> 00:03:43.390 You have a lack of coworkers to celebrate your wins or vent. 00:03:43.570 --> 00:03:47.260 Vent frustrations with you have this. 00:03:47.620 --> 00:03:51.490 You should be grateful that you're doing this, so you can't even admit 00:03:51.490 --> 00:03:56.320 that you're lonely because you are living this idealistic dream 00:03:56.320 --> 00:03:57.820 of being a small business owner. 00:03:58.690 --> 00:04:02.470 But there can be serious impact to being lonely. 00:04:02.950 --> 00:04:08.140 I mean, like mental health is something that, especially after COVID has 00:04:08.140 --> 00:04:13.540 seriously just like gone off the deep end for so many people and has, as 00:04:13.540 --> 00:04:16.510 someone who is, you know, witnessed. 00:04:16.840 --> 00:04:18.340 Serious mental health. 00:04:18.340 --> 00:04:22.720 I lost my sister to suicide the week I graduated high school. 00:04:23.020 --> 00:04:25.570 So like I have seen the impact mental health. 00:04:25.570 --> 00:04:30.490 I've, you know, been surrounded by people in my, my mother, my 00:04:30.490 --> 00:04:33.550 father, both serious alcoholics. 00:04:33.550 --> 00:04:38.710 I've, I've seen how mental health can impact and loneliness can 00:04:38.710 --> 00:04:40.960 have a very negative impact. 00:04:41.470 --> 00:04:45.370 It's can lead to overthinking, self-doubt, burnout. 00:04:46.060 --> 00:04:50.350 And you know, you would think that you're being surrounded by clients or 00:04:50.350 --> 00:04:54.910 employees or social media followers, but yet you feel super unseen. 00:04:55.450 --> 00:05:00.520 Like you're posting all the highlight reels on Instagram and nobody knows 00:05:00.730 --> 00:05:08.530 the shit sandwich you feel like, and sometimes you, you know, feel all 00:05:08.530 --> 00:05:13.900 this weight and this responsibility in this business and you are. 00:05:14.980 --> 00:05:17.830 Basically holding all of that weight yourself. 00:05:18.400 --> 00:05:22.780 And that can also be super, I mean, super hard. 00:05:23.230 --> 00:05:32.980 And I think that one thing that needs to change is that I know here in Minnesota 00:05:32.980 --> 00:05:38.590 and you guys, if you're listening to the podcast for a while, I have worked 00:05:38.620 --> 00:05:40.540 really hard in the Minnesota market. 00:05:41.035 --> 00:05:47.665 That community over competition is, I say, is alive and well in Minnesota because 00:05:47.665 --> 00:05:54.295 I have tried to help build this support network of florist supporting florists. 00:05:55.045 --> 00:06:01.225 And then in the floral CEO Mastermind, I have created a 00:06:01.225 --> 00:06:02.965 container that I wish I had. 00:06:03.415 --> 00:06:08.035 I love the honest conversations in there, the like. 00:06:08.365 --> 00:06:09.955 How the fuck do you do this? 00:06:09.955 --> 00:06:15.685 Like I got this and I don't know what to do, or I want to get here 00:06:15.685 --> 00:06:19.255 and I don't know how to get here, and you guys like, I'm stuck. 00:06:19.285 --> 00:06:20.575 I'm having a hard day. 00:06:20.605 --> 00:06:26.005 Like there has been so many different, like I can even see like when 00:06:26.010 --> 00:06:28.825 one of the girls is, is really. 00:06:29.830 --> 00:06:34.720 Just having a hard time, like, because I know them so well and I can see the 00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:41.020 shift and I wanna help dig them out because I know that that community 00:06:41.020 --> 00:06:46.210 and that support and that that really, that person being, you know, your 00:06:46.210 --> 00:06:51.430 wing man and building your business, I know how it can change everything. 00:06:52.570 --> 00:06:58.090 So if you are struggling in finding connection as a business owner. 00:06:58.570 --> 00:07:01.120 Like, try to find another florist friend. 00:07:01.780 --> 00:07:04.570 Try to find a, a, a coaching group. 00:07:04.570 --> 00:07:07.600 I mean, try to try find Facebook groups. 00:07:07.600 --> 00:07:13.360 Hopefully not ones that are, but definitely join the 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:15.250 floral CEO Facebook group. 00:07:16.060 --> 00:07:20.290 And then if you really need that ne next level support, or you just 00:07:20.290 --> 00:07:23.560 wanna bring your business to the next level, the floral CEO Mastermind. 00:07:24.085 --> 00:07:31.465 You can go check out at floral ceo.com/mastermind, find a mentor, 00:07:31.465 --> 00:07:37.675 find a business bestie who just gets you there is, I have so many industry 00:07:37.675 --> 00:07:44.095 friends that are like photographers, videographers, makeup, like all of these 00:07:44.095 --> 00:07:51.325 people are just like this little network of amazingness and that makes me feel so. 00:07:52.120 --> 00:07:57.460 Like everything is so much fuller because I have so many friends that 00:07:57.460 --> 00:08:01.450 if I wanna figure something out and the same thing goes for them, like I 00:08:01.450 --> 00:08:06.370 have a videographer friend that's done several of my, my workshops, the, the 00:08:06.370 --> 00:08:11.350 video shoots there and he's just like, Hey, I have a business question and. 00:08:11.910 --> 00:08:14.160 I just, I called him and I was like, Hey, what's up? 00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:17.970 And he is like, this happened with a client, you know, what would I do? 00:08:18.030 --> 00:08:19.560 And he's like, explaining the client. 00:08:19.560 --> 00:08:20.580 I'm like, she sounds bad. 00:08:20.580 --> 00:08:21.180 Shit crazy. 00:08:21.180 --> 00:08:23.940 I know you have a contract, but I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot 00:08:23.940 --> 00:08:28.110 pole because she sounds like she's going to make your life difficult. 00:08:28.140 --> 00:08:32.370 But if you don't ever even have an opportunity to ask anybody's opinion, 00:08:33.150 --> 00:08:38.580 like you are just like sitting in this loneliness of not having 00:08:38.580 --> 00:08:40.800 anybody to bounce anything off of. 00:08:42.190 --> 00:08:42.580 Okay. 00:08:42.880 --> 00:08:49.120 Then you really need to set boundaries with relationships that drain you. 00:08:50.020 --> 00:08:57.550 I have had numerous friends who, and even my family, who just don't get it. 00:08:57.790 --> 00:09:00.220 They just don't get what you're trying to accomplish. 00:09:00.220 --> 00:09:01.630 They just don't get that. 00:09:01.630 --> 00:09:03.730 You don't wanna work an eight to five job. 00:09:03.880 --> 00:09:05.200 They just don't get that. 00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:06.670 You have this fucking dream. 00:09:06.850 --> 00:09:08.320 They just want you to be safe. 00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:09.910 They want you to be small. 00:09:10.690 --> 00:09:16.120 And it's okay for you to be done with that and, and protect yourself 00:09:16.180 --> 00:09:17.830 that this person just doesn't get it. 00:09:17.830 --> 00:09:18.610 And that's okay. 00:09:18.610 --> 00:09:22.630 I still love them, but I don't have to invite them into that part 00:09:23.230 --> 00:09:29.170 because when you're lonely and then you have that, it's compounded to 00:09:29.200 --> 00:09:31.690 this unhealthy, you feel like shit. 00:09:31.810 --> 00:09:33.700 You feel like you're doing the wrong thing. 00:09:34.030 --> 00:09:37.270 They maybe unintentionally are making you feel. 00:09:37.615 --> 00:09:41.545 That way or you've just developed this one-sided relationship because 00:09:41.545 --> 00:09:45.625 you really just don't want any input from them about anything because you 00:09:45.625 --> 00:09:48.445 find no value in what they have to say 'cause they just don't get it. 00:09:49.375 --> 00:09:55.045 So learning to value, quality over quantity on, so in your social 00:09:55.045 --> 00:10:01.105 connections in and really just who you're connecting with in general because. 00:10:01.975 --> 00:10:05.185 You are the sum, like I said earlier, are the five people you're around most. 00:10:05.395 --> 00:10:10.855 So if you had, and I had this, I had a person that had their fist up 00:10:10.915 --> 00:10:14.425 wanting to fight the world all the time, which is exhausting to be around. 00:10:15.325 --> 00:10:19.705 Everybody has ill intentions, also exhausting to be around. 00:10:20.455 --> 00:10:22.435 The world is full of fucking idiots. 00:10:22.585 --> 00:10:27.025 I can't believe this person did this and did you know this and did you know this? 00:10:27.025 --> 00:10:30.175 And like all this just like deep level, crazy shit. 00:10:30.865 --> 00:10:32.035 It is exhausting. 00:10:32.425 --> 00:10:37.675 That is like, think of a leach and you just put like every time 00:10:37.675 --> 00:10:40.075 they're bitching or complaining. 00:10:40.585 --> 00:10:43.765 And I think that there can be a balance because obviously everybody 00:10:43.765 --> 00:10:47.665 needs to vent sometimes, but if you have that person, like you just dumped 00:10:47.665 --> 00:10:49.555 a bucket of fucking leeches on you. 00:10:50.395 --> 00:10:52.045 And it's just sucking the life outta you. 00:10:52.255 --> 00:10:56.785 Done not doing it, done not helpful. 00:10:57.295 --> 00:11:01.945 So you need to do and be around people who light you up. 00:11:02.605 --> 00:11:07.315 Um, we just had, uh, somebody come back to the mastermind after they had been in it 00:11:07.315 --> 00:11:11.485 for a year because they're ready to bring their business again to the next level. 00:11:11.485 --> 00:11:12.415 They're ready to grow. 00:11:13.015 --> 00:11:17.185 But also like that energy of being around people is so helpful 00:11:17.185 --> 00:11:18.415 as a business owner because. 00:11:18.850 --> 00:11:23.890 You're like, am I crazy for thinking of this and having that, that kind of 00:11:24.130 --> 00:11:27.460 venue to even be able to talk about that. 00:11:28.720 --> 00:11:34.450 All right, then here are some things to really just like actual 00:11:34.450 --> 00:11:36.880 strategies to combat loneliness. 00:11:37.330 --> 00:11:39.940 Start your morning off with a check-in with yourself. 00:11:40.450 --> 00:11:43.390 Journaling, affirmations, gratitude. 00:11:44.260 --> 00:11:50.230 Uh, I know that it's been really helpful for me to have kind of consistent, 00:11:50.230 --> 00:11:52.930 like just, I'm gonna go and network. 00:11:52.930 --> 00:11:54.340 I'm gonna go and see a friend. 00:11:54.340 --> 00:11:58.720 I'm gonna go, like, I just had my friend Alexander Robin, um, come 00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:03.760 down to the farm and like, she took farm pictures and all these things. 00:12:03.760 --> 00:12:08.860 So like scheduling, like regular connection with another flower friend, 00:12:08.920 --> 00:12:12.850 with another business owner, with another wedding professional, whatever it is. 00:12:13.630 --> 00:12:17.710 Then look at joining local or online communities for entrepreneurs. 00:12:18.220 --> 00:12:23.770 If there's Facebook groups, the floral CEO mastermind industry meetups like we 00:12:23.770 --> 00:12:31.090 have in here in Minnesota, we have ia, we have wpa, we have, um, Minnesota Bride. 00:12:31.090 --> 00:12:35.260 They're having like their best of, so you get to go fancy dressed up next week. 00:12:35.650 --> 00:12:38.560 Like there are so many things that are out there. 00:12:38.875 --> 00:12:43.375 But a lot of times we're scared shitless to go to any of these things, and that's 00:12:43.375 --> 00:12:45.085 where we could find our biz bestie. 00:12:45.625 --> 00:12:51.535 So getting a little bit uncomfortable to potentially, you know, make a 00:12:51.535 --> 00:12:56.095 friendship that could either impact, you know, your, your business from 00:12:56.095 --> 00:13:00.685 a friendship standpoint or from a business standpoint is so important. 00:13:01.645 --> 00:13:06.055 So just a reminder, you are not alone. 00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:09.400 Many business owners. 00:13:09.610 --> 00:13:13.510 I'm talking, I, I'm saying many because I have coached so many of them. 00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:22.750 It is normal to feel alone if you are, even if you wanna send me a dm. Yep. 00:13:22.750 --> 00:13:26.770 I am feeling really, really lonely in my business and I don't know what to do. 00:13:27.550 --> 00:13:29.920 It is totally okay. 00:13:30.130 --> 00:13:34.600 If you wanna send me a dm, I'm always here to listen, but like tell someone. 00:13:35.290 --> 00:13:39.010 If you don't get it out of your, your brain, if you don't get it 00:13:39.010 --> 00:13:41.950 out, like nobody's gonna know that you're feeling this way. 00:13:41.950 --> 00:13:44.740 And especially if you're one of those people that just says, 00:13:44.740 --> 00:13:46.450 I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. 00:13:46.780 --> 00:13:52.150 Like fine is not good and you deserve better than fine. 00:13:53.680 --> 00:13:59.410 Then I know when I shifted to creating consistent connections 00:13:59.410 --> 00:14:01.600 with other business owners and. 00:14:02.695 --> 00:14:06.835 The quality of my connections removing negative. 00:14:07.705 --> 00:14:11.815 Um, like the world is on fire, like the apocalypse is next week. 00:14:11.815 --> 00:14:12.475 Type people. 00:14:12.475 --> 00:14:15.355 If you have those people in your life, I know it's scary. 00:14:15.385 --> 00:14:18.085 'cause you know what I thought is I'm not gonna have a best friend or 00:14:18.085 --> 00:14:19.615 I'm not gonna have a lot of friends. 00:14:19.885 --> 00:14:22.435 I'm, I'm, maybe I'm being difficult. 00:14:22.435 --> 00:14:25.225 Maybe I'm being the one that's not really getting it. 00:14:25.915 --> 00:14:26.815 You get it. 00:14:27.580 --> 00:14:34.570 You, uh, your opinion is the opinion that matters and driving, you know, 00:14:34.600 --> 00:14:40.540 those decisions to be in alignment with who you are long term is going to be 00:14:40.540 --> 00:14:45.010 so giving and is going to make, I mean, it's evolved me into the person I am now. 00:14:45.280 --> 00:14:51.460 I am so passionate about so many things, but I'm not passionate about 00:14:51.460 --> 00:14:54.460 chasing everybody's problems because. 00:14:54.865 --> 00:14:58.405 Then I'm never fixing my own, I'm never impacting the problems 00:14:58.405 --> 00:15:04.765 that I could actually impact, and that is been so helpful for me. 00:15:05.305 --> 00:15:09.475 Instead of like just chasing the world, I, I am really 00:15:09.475 --> 00:15:11.875 nurturing the world that I'm in. 00:15:13.315 --> 00:15:16.495 So thank you so much for listening. 00:15:16.915 --> 00:15:23.035 I hope that this little message was encouraging if you are alone because. 00:15:23.455 --> 00:15:28.495 We all are alone at some point, but we all have the power to shift 00:15:28.495 --> 00:15:31.285 that, and I am here to support you. 00:15:32.065 --> 00:15:35.545 Thank you so much for listening, flower friends, and you have 00:15:35.545 --> 00:15:37.165 an amazing flower filled week.