Espresso

Taking football snaps underneath the lowest object possible and telling customer service reps u love them is how you commit to the bit. Stop acting like you don't spam Monster Mash seventeen times on tuchtunes at the bar while secretly pretending to be a sex shop employee on phone calls with your boys.

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TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS

0:00 - Intro
4:01 - What is your bit
7:54 - Screaming is that a beer
9:46 - Blaming farts on the dog
16:07 - Cracking on people with your boys
19:44 - Public property fridge leftovers
30:33 - Big shoes Kevin at the gym
32:35 - Taking football snaps anywhere
45:44 - The sex shop employee phone pitch
50:26 - Chips and salsa at the Italian restaurant
53:50 - Stealing raisins after the salt trick
54:39 - Spamming Monster Mash on TouchTunes
1:02:11 - Saying mine as well ironically
1:13:16 - The McDonald's parfait calorie scam
1:17:01 - Holding hands at Catholic church

What is Espresso?

Stand Up Comedian Benedict Polizzi gives listeners horrendous advice