well
hello all you beautiful people
you know what time it is
[Music]
ladies and gents
guys and dolls and everyone in between
gather round
get you something real nice to sip on
and comfy to slip on
because it's time
for smut club
here's your hosts chelsea and hannah
[Applause]
hey everybody i'm hannah and i'm chelsea
and welcome to smug club we're so glad
you're here we're so glad you found us
we don't know if that was intentional we
don't know if that was accidental
we don't know if you slipped and
accidentally hit play and you're like
what is happening here but regardless of
how you found us
we're glad you're here yeah welcome
welcome to the party welcome to the smut
the smut party i was hoping i could come
up with a pun on the spot and i failed
miserably
um i appreciate that you tried
the smut tacular
nope nope we'll we'll keep trying not
right now we won't but in the future
so today
um we are going to review
a book called top secret
by serena bowen and l kennedy they
partnered up for this one oh okay i
haven't read this one but i've read some
l kennedy and i've always thoroughly
enjoyed her stuff me too
um and this one i found by accident
because i had been reading a lot of l
kennedy um and just picked this one up
and didn't realize that it was male male
and actually fell in love with the story
and so
i decided to make this our first male
male review because it is one of my
comfort books i love it a lot
okay how many times would you say you've
read this book because i i've heard you
describe it as your comfort book several
times and i know like mine
and do you do this with your comfort
books where there will be like times
where you're like i'm not even reading
the whole thing cover to cover yeah i'm
just like
jumping in at like the 50
mark just like because i wanted a
comforting story
yeah so i would say
completely through i've read it three
times okay um one of those i want to say
was audio
it still counts it still counts but like
one of them was audio and then i have
like
when i've been in the car and like
caught up on my podcasts and not i don't
have an audio book or whatever
and i'm not in the mu the mood for
certain music or whatever like i'll put
this on even if i'm not like doing the
whole thing you know yeah
so
um i will first introduce us to our
first male main character his name is
keaton hayworth iii
um he kind of sounds like a douche a
little bit he is a uh football player
um
he is uh in a fraternity he's currently
running for frat president for the
following year
um he has been dating his girlfriend i
want to say for like five years her name
is annika
um very very stereotypical fat boy
energy from from keaton
however
we learn that he is super smart he's a
bio major
um and wants to study marine biology and
he's not just a stereotype exactly he's
also wicked smart um so we will find in
this book that there are a lot of tropes
like the most tropes we have the
football player we have the fraternity
brothers we have the
um
straight guy exploring his sexuality
we have male strippers i mean we have
all the tropes
so
we opened up that like some of those i
wouldn't even call tropes
for the male male
genre their tropes yeah strippers are a
trope and male male
i'm learning things and i'm i'm so happy
to teach you
so so keaton we open with him with his
girlfriend annika in a coffee shop
and um they are discussing the other
guys in the coffee shop and which ones
annika finds attractive because we
discover
that annika has requested for her 21st
birthday to have a
a threesome with another man
and keaton is he's basically says you
know what i'm a scientist we're gonna do
an experiment i don't know if i'm gonna
be into it but let's find out baby if
that's what you want for your birthday
happy birthday we'll make it happen we
love to see open communication in a
relationship yeah he's like let's let's
explore this for sure
but he's also like sweetheart we cannot
ask anyone we know
and she's like what do you mean he's
like i cannot just go ask one of my
fraternity brothers
to have a threesome with us yeah he's
pretty visible in their world yeah yeah
he's like and then you know well i'll
have to see him at a reunion in 10 years
and he's gonna be like there's that
pervert that has to see my dick like no
way we're not doing that it has to be a
stranger
um and annie as she is her nickname um
annie's like fine okay whatever like i
trust you you figure it out great
so keaton decides to download an app
called kink
so on this app you can uh select what
you're looking for what kind of
experience you're looking for what kind
of kinks you're into what kind of
partners you want
and so he makes a profile this feels
like a very well-rounded dating app
very much so maybe dating isn't just a
well-rounded app i mean it's a hookup
app yeah isn't that what all dating
appstar does basically yes
um so uh
he downloads this app he's a little bit
nervous but he's also kind of excited
um and he waits until because all of his
friends are around and they're talking
about he's running for frat president
and all this and that he waits until
they all leave to go to class and then
he downloads this app creates a profile
and kind of jumps in and is like let's
see what's what
so then we flash back and forth between
the two um points of view so our second
person um his name is luke bailey um he
is also in the fraternity he is also
running for frat president in the same
frat in the same frat and um we learned
very quickly that he does not have a lot
of money money is super tight for him um
he works crazy hours but we don't know
doing what yet um he's very very smart
very driven
wants to get into business and prove
himself
he makes a point to say because like a
vending machine eats his dollar or
something and the girl behind him offers
him a dollar and he's like no thanks
and in his head he's like i will never
take anyone anything from anyone in this
school ever
when i graduate it's gonna be because i
did it and everybody else can suck it
like not happening
um but he is exhausted a lot of the time
is he openly gay
he is openly bisexual okay um but he
doesn't
advertise it at the frat
also makes sense yeah yeah so um
actually
keaton's best friend in the frat hates
luke deeply
because luke
accidentally hooked up with his
ex-girlfriend at a party because he
didn't know that it was this guy's ex-ex
so this guy is like
he broke the bro code where
like he didn't know
there was a bro code there
he didn't but it doesn't seem to matter
so luke makes some allusions to like him
his family being kind of a mess not
having a lot of money
being super strapped for cash and all
all that kind of stuff
um and he also references keaton and
mentions how much he like [ __ ] hates
this guy so they live um on the same
floor in the frat house and keaton has
the big room
and luke has like what they call the
servant's quarters that's like basically
a little closet and they share a
bathroom on like the third floor of this
frat house
um and so he is constantly irritated
with keaton making noise
um
and he was gonna do some homework or
something he gets back to the house he
was gonna do some homework
but then he's like
[Music]
like i'm not really feeling it i'm gonna
get on kink
luke is super sex positive he does not
give a [ __ ] he is just here to do
whatever he wants to do that feels good
and is consensual yeah and he found an
app that
afforded him that outlet love to see it
exactly and he's like obviously i do not
have time at this point to like
coordinate a whole hookup but
let's see what's what what am i in the
mood for i'm in the mood for a threesome
so he selects it and starts swiping
and he comes across this profile and
there is a photo that has the faces
cropped out and he's like that makes
sense i don't have my photo in my or my
face in my photo either
uh we gotta be careful with this [ __ ]
um but these two are obviously super hot
i'm into that
let's see what's what so he matches with
someone called lobster shorts that is
the name of this person
and he's wearing um lobster short
uh
swim trunks in the photo so that's where
it came from i imagine like chubbies
swimming basically yeah that's the image
i'm getting okay um so they start
chatting a little bit and then um
they start talking about like luke
starts throwing out okay so
you know what are you and your girl into
you know like what what would be the
rules around this you know can i touch
you can i touch her do you want me to
[ __ ] her do you want to [ __ ] me like
what
what's happening
and keaton is like it's cute keaton's
like jesus christ like i was not being
prepared
and he's like bro if you haven't thought
about this you're not ready and he's
like no it's not that it's not that i'm
not open to it it's just that i didn't
know what to expect and i need a moment
to kind of consider it
so
annie definitely wants you to touch her
he doesn't use her name but he's like my
girlfriend definitely wants you to touch
her so yeah and then i don't know if i
want you to touch me maybe
and like i have to say i really
appreciate the conversations they're
having
like
there's there's no guessing it's all
open like let's all make sure we're on
the same page we are all consenting to
the same thing
like
really loving this energy exactly
so
when
lobster shorts says i don't know if i
want you to touch me he's like let's do
an experiment
and he basically starts sexting him a
scenario of
uh
like a guy between his legs right
and uh like going down on him basically
preparing to give him a [ __ ] and
right before like the money moment
brandon's upset about what's about to
happen
right before the money moment
luke is like
so you have a homework assignment you
finish the fantasy and tell me
tell me what you come up with
and lobster shorts is like are you
[ __ ] serious
you're gonna leave me with my dick in my
hands right now and he's like yes i am
and so
so that's kind of the initial
interaction um but there's a lot of like
really cute back and forth where
keaton starts talking about lobster sex
because
luke was making fun of his lobster
shorts and he's like lobsters are
amazing do you know how they mate and
luke is like what the [ __ ] are you
saying right now
and he's like well
um the dude like pees into the woman's
shelter or the female lobster's shelter
and then she's like i'm into that
and then he comes in and strips off her
shell like a prom dress that's a direct
quote
strips off her prom dress like a like
her strips off her shell like a prom
dress and then they do a missionary
style
and luke was like the [ __ ] is this
i'm learning
more than i thought i would today
whenever i think of lobsters i just
think of like you're my lobster like
when people are like lobsters mate for
life right um but i've never actually
thought of the inner workings of their
sexual intimacy
well now you know now i now i absolutely
do
so then um
luke is chilling trying to do homework
he's signed out of the app his mom calls
asking him for money apparently this is
a common thing his mom is kind of a
piece of [ __ ] and doesn't really support
him which is why he can't live at home
anymore and she's asking him for money
which is very frustrating and will
become very important in the future okay
um so he has an older brother who's
recently out of prison
and mom is like we decided to start a
business like you should invest and he's
like the [ __ ] is this like absolutely
christ
um
so then
um he goes into where he works and we
find out that he is a male stripper
um
and makes excellent money stripping um
at this club he gets along great with
his
um
co-workers and everything
um
and he starts thinking about
like he he says he needs to pick up some
extra shifts because he starts thinking
about the
um a huge part of the um fraternity
president
race campaign whatever the [ __ ] um is
something called the presidential
dance-off
and they have to basically throw a party
like each one of them has to throw a
party under a certain budget
as the thing
and so he's thinking about what he's
going to do for his dance off so it's
in my head when when i hear dance off i
think like dance battle
um right but that's not it because he
says like if if this were an actual
dance-off i would [ __ ] kill it
but it's not so
so i just have to throw a dance
under a certain budget
okay continue
so then we flash back to keaton
um keaton goes to have um brunch with
his dad
um
and um he takes annika with him they
accidentally wake up luke when they're
leaving and he's wicked pissed because
he got in at like two or three in the
morning because he's working at a strip
club but nobody knows that
so they go to lunch or brunch or
whatever rich people do
they're filthy rich and that becomes
relevant later um they go to brunch with
his dad
um who starts kind of talking about well
you know when you come work for my
company when you come work for my
company and keaton has zero interest in
that he wants to go into
biology and be like a field researcher
he does not want to be in
pharmaceuticals um dad does not
understand that and is pressuring him to
go for an internship
so
i don't know where this is going
which is like the big so
and
sigh okay color me intrigued so
so but that's part of it right is that
there is just not a ton of like intense
intrigue in this book there are a couple
of moments when you're like god oh
oh man but for the most part it's like
this is really nice
and now that i'm reviewing it i'm like
oh man that might not have been the
choice for
this podcast because it is like oh
that's really nice like it's not that
it's not that intense hannah we can just
review books that we like that are nice
to read like not every book has to be
something that we would describe as a
dumpster fire
honestly it's kind of a nice reprieve
that's fair that's fair
um i just also want to be entertaining
and i don't know that it is so
i mean i'm entertained do you need more
wine
would wine make it more entertaining for
you probably not i mean like i said i'm
entertained that's not the issue
um
okay
so
um
blah blah blah after
the
um
the brunch keaton it decides to get um
back on the dating app because he feels
like he needs a distraction because
you know things brunch with his dad
wasn't great yeah and this is a couple
of days later um and so
um
so they start kind of sexting a little
bit
um because
who we know is luke but keaton doesn't
know as luke
is like so how'd you do on the
assignment and he was like i'm i'm doing
fine and he's like fine like b-minus
and
lobster shorts is like uh keaton is like
in my family b-minus is a failure so
no oh honey i only do a work
um and so
um they start
kind of going back and forth
um and then um
they kind of start again like sexting
and um luke starts going into detail
about how he would give him a [ __ ]
right
um and so
they are getting more and more into it
keaton is very turned on and he's like
well damn okay that sounds like a great
[ __ ] i guess we're going for it here
um
so um
then luke does ask him he's like are you
at home
close the door
like
i want you to actually do this with me
in real time
um and keaton is like oh
that is a line
that i am ready to cross
he's like
okay
so it sounds like he didn't have to
think about it much like he's like oh he
didn't okay yeah he didn't um and luke
is not at home so center three is his
handle on the app he is not at home um
and so he's like i wish i could be doing
this with you but i can't but he does
take a little sneaky pic of his abs to
send
um for him to get off to
and so there's a lot of detail about
that
about
like the the sexting [ __ ]
um
and um
keaton's like what the [ __ ] just
happened like i just came super hard and
i was not mentally or emotionally
prepared for that
and they did not bring up annika the
entire time and the whole point of this
is organizing this threesome for her for
her 21st birthday right
and he's like
was that cheating he's like i don't
think so because i'm doing research for
this threesome like it's not
not building a relationship i'm like
betting this person it reminds me of um
friends and like one of the like the
flashback where like
because ross and his first wife
has he has multiple wives but him and
his first wife
end their marriage because she realizes
that she is a lesbian and into women and
like a flashback where it's like oh like
we're like bringing a woman into the
bedroom and then he's like so have you
ever like been having a great time and
then realize like
if you weren't there they'd still be
having a great there's like something
like that yeah i don't it's been a long
time since i saw the episode but like
tonally it feels similar where it's like
we were organizing this for you
but then you weren't there
and we had a great time without you yeah
yeah exactly
um
so then um
[Music]
uh
luke knows that so luke sends the
picture
um he knows that
lobster shorts is super into it but he's
also like maybe i pushed him too far
because obviously he's in a relationship
with a woman like maybe he's not ready
for all of this
especially since like their first
conversation
he was like can i touch you can i touch
her what's the land and keaton was like
oh
i don't know any of this
so luke is not playing around here luke
is not playing around down to business
he's ready to go
maybe lobster shorts hasn't
hasn't thought all of this through still
maybe like maybe that's not a fair
assessment that he hasn't thought it
through still but just like
it's a big leap for him yeah so then
keaton is kind of panicking because he
had this experience and so he logs out
of the app
so then um
luke is back at home
um we find out that the reason he's
running for frat president so nobody
really likes him in this frat like he's
just kind of there but the reason he's
running for president is he finds out
that the president gets free rent
and he really really needs that
he really really needs that so um that's
basically the whole point
so then he gets in a little tiff with
some of the guys um about um
uh pledge week because they want to
force the pledges to [ __ ] watermelons
and then whoever lasts the longest has
to then eat the watermelon stop
and luke is like hey
that is sexual assault and they're like
what are you talking about it's
hilarious and he's like no
you're forcing them to complete a sexual
act
while you watch that's sexual assault
like
don't do that and they're like why are
you always raining on our parade
remember me he's like i'm trying to make
sure we can stay afraid and when we do
[ __ ] like this for hazing
we can all get arrested yes
so um
so yeah so that's really awkward
um and most of the guys who are on that
uh committee are keaton's friends and so
he tells
he sees keaton in the kitchen and he's
looking a little weird
a little flustered
and so luke is like hey you should
probably tell your buddies to cool it
with the pledge committee stuff like you
may want to follow up on that
um
and they clearly have a very contentious
relationship like they're not not fans
of each other
um
so okay
so
um keaton is still
with annika he's trying to figure out
what the [ __ ] to do for this dance-off
he has planned nothing and it's coming
up really soon and he's kind of freaking
out and he's like
so they're at brunch again with his dad
and his dad is like well let me tell you
what i did and he planned this like
elaborate thing with cirque du soleil
performers or some [ __ ]
and keaton's like oh no
oh no
i can't do that in two weeks i'm [ __ ]
like i'm super [ __ ] okay
um because his dad i forget that's why
he was um running in the first place
because his dad wanted him to run
because their legacy or whatever um
so
he's freaking out he's still messaging
center three
on this kink app all the time and it's
kind of escalating more and they're
starting to talk about things that are
not sex related like they're just
talking about
stuff
life stuff
um
and every now and then keaton will be
like oh [ __ ] yeah annika would be super
into watching us do that
like well my girlfriend he doesn't say
her name but like my girlfriend would be
super into watching us do that
yeah
because he realizes that maybe he's
crossing a line on some of this stuff
so
um so he's like i should casually
mention that my girlfriend would like to
watch that to make me feel better about
the things that i am doing that i feel
like i probably shouldn't be doing
because i have a girlfriend
right got it um and they start doing
like weird animal sex facts of the day
because keaton is super into biology and
all this other stuff so he talks about
like that apparently kangaroos can
masturbate
fun fact that i didn't need to know but
now you do
um and like just random things like that
and luke is like you know what
i kind of like this guy like i actually
kind of like him he's really fun i hope
that this whole
threesome thing really does happen so
how far out is her birthday like two
months
oh so we really we put more time into
planning this than the dance off yes
okay so her birthday is like right after
the new year
um
so
um there you know luke is exhausted
because he's working crazy hours and
doing all this school stuff super
irritated with keaton because he always
has his music too loud and is making too
much noise and at one point annika is
over
um in keaton's room
and is complaining about something and
he's like
if y'all don't even have the decency to
have sex so that i can hear it can you
shut the [ __ ] up like i cannot with
y'all right now like he's so irritated
so do we like the girlfriend or are we
supposed to be annoyed by her so she's a
little bit of like a rich [ __ ]
connecticut kind of situation but she's
also very sweet
um
so
like a little bit of both
so then keaton decides he knows what
he's gonna do for the dance off and he's
like i'm gonna make this [ __ ] happen so
he decides to throw a
beach party in december
so he gets all these heaters
sand
lays booze all that stuff
um and it's a great party
however
he starts to take note of some of the
other dudes and their bathing suits and
i was like
huh good for him like that's good
nice like okay and he actually has the
thought he's like it used to be when i
was at the gym and i saw a guy doing
squats i'd be like nice form and now i'm
like nice
[Laughter]
so
um so then he and annika like he kind of
alludes to the fact that they haven't
really been having sex regularly lately
um but they've been together for so long
that it's not really a big deal it's
just like one of those things uh but
they do have sex the night of his dance
off
because he got so turned on watching the
one gay brother in the fraternity making
out with another dude but he neglects to
tell his girlfriend that bit
right would you
probably
well maybe not
actually
like
i think it
i don't cuz like just thinking it
through i'm like okay would you be like
i want
like because it does it wasn't really
about getting off with her it was just
that other things
aroused him and and other men aroused
him
and
i guess if i was 21 in that situation i
probably would do the same thing
yeah like
trying to figure out your sexuality and
it's like already been like not
consistent sex with your partner and
then
like
i don't know
how i would receive that right be like
i just really needed to get my dick wet
because someone else made me really hot
and you were the option that i have
right
i mean that might be like a really like
harsh way of of cutting that but i'm
like maybe a little bit yeah
but i'm like yeah i don't
i don't know if i would you how you
would if you tell him i mean he does
talk about how much he loves her and how
gorgeous she is and all this and that i
i mean he he does care for her i'm not
disputing that he cares for her i'm just
purely going off of his motivations for
this sexual encounter
little column a little column b
maybe column c
lots of c indeed
um so lots of d indeed
so that just makes me think of there's a
big boy song well technically i guess
it's big grams he did it never mind but
he says um
she needs a vitamin d overdose and i do
mean d
and that's all i can think about now
that's one of my favorite lines of music
ever
yeah i just not it wasn't a line of
music but i once remember having a
conversation with co-workers and
someone had an actual vitamin d
deficiency
and one of the dudes was like
i don't have a vitamin d deficiency then
he's like well
maybe it's like just like took it and
ran with it forever and we're like
you're just describing the size of your
dick with a vitamin d deficiency analogy
and you have continued this analogy for
a while too far
that was kind of
his style
was that the energy he brings yeah the
energy he brought was that joke should
have ended a few sentences ago
i hate that when it's like sweetheart
you did so good
but you need to stop if i'm like reign
it in just a smidge pull it in and we'd
be at the sweet spot but you keep
passing the sweet spot
and that's why you have a vitamin d
deficiency
hey there's my puppies
we'll get you right back to the show in
just a moment
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is to talk about smut club
all right
i won't keep you any longer
let's get back to the show
[Music]
okay so annie and keaton phone because
he's aroused by the other people at the
party he does still he's is still into
her but once again
yeah that's not something at 21 that i
like i don't think there's a way to like
tactfully say that right at 21 at least
i didn't have that tact no nor would i
um so then um
luke is like damn like he did a really
good job with this party
um but i'm not worried i think i got it
so keaton is super irritated because
luke tells everybody they have to come
in like
like semi-formal
wear
it's a classier party yeah and it's the
dinner party
and the servers are all
stupid hot like they all have like huge
tits and they're gorgeous are they all
the stripper friends yes but they don't
know that so the guys are all like
hey
while they're being served this food and
the food is delicious
um and then um one of the guys is like
so is that it
like this we just had a dinner party
with hot servers this was the party and
then luke is like if everyone will raise
your glasses and so they all raise up
and he just stands there and they're
like are you are you gonna make your
stupid toast or whatever he's like no i
just needed you to move your [ __ ]
and then all the girls come out and they
get on the table and start dancing
and keen is like [ __ ] me running like he
really did this like damn
um and he had like poker tables set up
and like the guys were all super into it
so
um
luke feels like he nailed it and he's
like yeah they're my my friends from
work like i just paid them a little
extra to come help me
um but the guys don't know that so
they're all like how do you know so many
strippers teach me your ways and he's
like no
um
he's like he was also like do not touch
them i will [ __ ] you up
and at the end he was like there was
only one stupid sophomore that i had to
punch in the face so overall good night
honestly for a frat party filled with
strippers pretty good yeah that feels
like good odds pretty good like okay
because a sophomore you're what like 19
maybe 20 19 20 yeah yeah so like
like your brain's not fully developed i
mean none of their brains are so like
for their level of brain development
only one feels like good odds pretty
good pretty decent
so
um
that goes all really well they're
continuing to message on the app they
don't realize that it's the two of them
messaging back and forth
um
they
uh
keaton
is really upset about spending time with
his parents over christmas because his
dad is continuing to pressure him about
uh the internship at his company and all
this other stuff
um luke is really upset because when he
goes home his mom just continues to ask
him for money
for various things and then his brother
calls him the f word and demands that he
pay him or he's gonna tell all of his
fraternity brothers that he's a stripper
which is just not ideal like that is not
what we want from our big brother you
know to put it mildly yeah or from
anyone like we don't want that from
anyone but especially our big brother
um so luke is really frustrated and
upset by this whole thing
so um he winds up messaging lobster
shorts who is keaton
um and is like what are you doing on the
app like aren't you spending time with
family and keaton is like nope are you
and keaton's like i would rather be
like be dead than deal with that [ __ ]
right now so then they
uh
start sending each other videos
no faces but of them jacking it and
super hot and girlfriend still doesn't
know she still does not know that keaton
is on this app
she knows that he has committed to
organizing this threesome for them
she does not know he's on this app so
that actually comes up over this
christmas exchange
where luke is like bro is there even a
girl
like it's cool if there's not
but like you need to tell me because
this is not
yeah she needs to know because he wants
to see pictures of their faces
and keaton's like i can't send that to
you
because my girlfriend doesn't know he's
like well if your girlfriend doesn't
know then what the [ __ ] are we doing
right now
yeah it's a little scaby
so i appreciate luke's principles and
morals yes
so keaton then promises he's gonna tell
annika when he gets back um from from
christmas
um
so he does he talks to annika and he's
like listen i found this guy he seems
really great but then he realizes he
doesn't want to show her
the messages that they've been sending
back and forth because it's all them
sexting and he's like oh yeah it's a
it's way more messages than she would be
bargaining for without
yeah so he just takes like a screenshot
of a couple
and sends them to her
um also if y'all hear what sounds like a
whale crying in the background it's my
pug crying on not crying snoring
on the floor
um
i hear it very loudly
too and so if if y'all are hearing it as
well
um it's not a weird animal sex fact from
this book it's just my dog who's a pug
so he has some breathing issues
he snores he does it's very endearing
and the nasal strips don't work for him
because he doesn't really have a snout
he doesn't bless his little pug face
we love him we do sorry just needed to
give that caveat in case you all hear it
that weird sound
is brandon is brandon the pug
so
keaton sends these screenshots to annika
to tell her that he found their person
because this hookup is supposed to be in
like 10 days for her birthday for her
21st birthday
so she's like uh who is this person
and he's like no listen like i vetted
him he seems really great blah blah blah
blah and she's like
okay i guess
so they
so they decide um they're gonna get a
hotel room and they're gonna do all this
stuff so then
um keaton tells luke
bye brandon
so brandon has cbd treats
that he gets like one each morning to
stay calm but knowing that we were
recording today i gave him two
and to be fair with his weight size that
is appropriate no one
don't panic yeah don't panic don't at me
about this it is entirely okay um but we
have a little like bed next to us on the
ground so my husband just came and
picked him up and
put him on the couch
he just needed a little relocation
he did bless his sweet little pug soul
he's so precious he's the purest
little being he is like
i we're we're obsessed with our pets
we're one of those households like
we are definitely a our pets are our
children as are we household so
i think it's also why we're friends both
of our dogs wear diapers yup
like
you know we can get into that another
time
maybe we won't and he's asking some
questions about like so where did you
find this guy and what's going on yeah
yeah exactly so um keaton is like
telling her basically no i've been
vetting him he's fantastic we're gonna
do this
um
so then he coordinates with luke luke is
like okay um i'll see if i can get the
night off of work we'll make it happen
book the hotel like let's do this [ __ ]
so the night arrives
of annie's 21st birthday
keaton is having a great time and he is
super excited to meet this guy he still
doesn't know his name and has never seen
his face but he has very much enjoyed
their conversations he feels like
they're getting to know each other
they're learning more
um like he's learning that you know this
guy has issues with money and he works a
lot and um you know all these different
things about each other they're they
really like each other they're they're
building a friendship
so he's very excited to meet this guy
however
annie is like
is someone actually coming
tonight
and keaton is like yes
you asked me for this and i told you i
was going to do it and i always follow
through on a promise like when she's
saying that like does she not want
someone to does she not believe that he
actually did it both okay both
like she's like almost like a
yeah this was fun in theory but like now
that we're here like oh
we're we're really doing this now right
okay so she's like
i don't want to do this and he's like
are you serious like
you asked me for this
and she's like yeah but
i just thought you would get the hint
that we need to spice up our sex life
and suggest like edible underwear or
some handcuffs or something i didn't
think you'd actually do it
and he's like
i promised you that i would do it
he's on his way here right now
but he's like obviously
i'm never gonna force my girlfriend to
do something that she's not comfortable
with sexually so like what the [ __ ] like
i'm [ __ ] now
um and that actually happens earlier in
the book too like he's super horny when
he wakes up in the morning and like
rolls over to like nuzzle on her and
she's like i am sleepy and he's like
okay honey i love you he's like cause
only a dick wakes up your girlfriend for
sex when she's trying to sleep
oh
i mean yeah it is very endearing and
very sweet but i'm also kind of like
annika well i'm like you you can't have
both
you can't like want things spicier and
then like if the biggest spice
if the
if the red pepper flakes of the
situation
are that he woke you up
nuzzling him like that's
that's like
garlic what are you what do you have in
your head apparently edible underwear
was her whole solution right or
handcuffs or something
so keenan was like well [ __ ] like he's
on his way here right now he's gonna be
here like any second and keaton's super
excited to meet him exactly so he is
like really embarrassed and he doesn't
want his new friend to think that he's
the one backing out
and he's like [ __ ]
so she's like we'll just message him
right now and tell him not to come oh
and he's like
okay okay
so like as he's pulling his phone out
there's a knock on the door
and then we switch to luke's perspective
and luke is super excited he took the
night off of work which is a big deal
for him because money matters
and he cleaned up and he's super excited
and he's like i wonder if i'm at the
right room but i hear male and female
voices so must be
and then
keaton who is his roommate
opens the [ __ ] door and he is like
hey
they're like uh
i think i have the wrong
room neither of them saw this coming no
not even a little bit so then keaton
uh says actually like we're uh we're
good
we're good um
like kind of ends up giving them an out
because
he's like oh oh i know you yeah we're
good so
okay no okay
so then luke starts to get a little
heated and he's like
what so annika's in there annika's in
there the the daughter of like she's
some kind of heiress to some huge
fortune or some [ __ ] he's like
so so annie's in there she wants to get
doubled down
you right are we doing this or what
because he's like super pissed because
they both think that they like catfished
each other
and he's like
they're both like no this is just a
stupid coincidence and i had no [ __ ]
clue this is crazy
and again luke is super pissed he took
the night off of work and so keaton's
like well can't you just like
go in now he's like no jackass for
somebody who's never worked a day in
their life i'm already going to be late
my boss is going to be pissed i don't
know that i'm going to get what i need
to get blah blah blah
um and caitlyn's like well i'm really
sorry but you should go
thanks bye hmm awkward yeah
and very disappointing because they both
really liked this person that they found
so then
um luke goes to work and he gets smash
hammer drunk afterwards with the other
strippers and then
um
he
uh
takes an uber home
and he's starting to feel like he's
sobered up a little bit he goes upstairs
and he hears
music and stuff happening in keaton's
room and he's like whatever i guess they
decided to come back here instead of
staying in the hotel doesn't matter
but then all of a sudden keaton like
busts into his room and is like where
have you been all night i've been
waiting for you all night what are you
doing and he's like bro
you need to calm down are you drunk
right now and he's like yes i'm drunk
annika broke up with me and he's like
what
and he's like yeah she said that
um
the passion isn't there in our
relationship anymore
and she thought you know i was gonna
spice it up with some handcuffs or
something and that's why she backed out
and blah blah blah blah and he's very
heartbroken because again they've been
together for a really long time
so he's heartbroken i'm really
frustrated and um luke is like well what
do you want me to do about it and then
they kind of start making out a little
bit
like the sexual tension has built
they start making out a little bit and
then keaton's like holy [ __ ] i'm like
ah
oh this is this is where the red pepper
flakes were and not with annika exactly
he was like oh my god um so then i i'm
pretty sure that at this point luke
blows him
pretty sure um and then
like jacks himself and comes on his
chest or something like that whatever
it's not really relevant to the story to
be honest but they have like their first
sort of sexual experience together
um they're both intoxicated
um and then keaton is kind of freaking
out afterwards like grabs his stuff and
like hustles
he's like oh god like
hustles on out
um so then there's more of this like
awkward tension they see each other
around the frat house and luke is
starting to get kind of irritated so
he's making like little snide comments
but then he gets surprised that keaton
starts returning these snide comments
they get back on kink they're continuing
to chat
and then
um
they just start [ __ ] basically
um like that's basically what it is
and keaton
luke tells keaton that he is like a
golden retriever puppy
because he's just so happy all the time
and he just wants to play with a frisbee
and he's really excited to be part of
the group and is just looking forward to
it and luke is not even a dog he is an
alley cat passing through and he's not
interested in the commitment
and keaton is like that's fine but i'm
asking for exclusivity it will only be
the two of us like if i'm [ __ ] you
nobody else is [ __ ] you
and luke also has been unwilling now
that i said that luke has also been
unwilling for keaton to [ __ ] him so far
luke has [ __ ] keaton
um but not the other way around
um lots of [ __ ] and
uh tustin jimber lakes and
uh other
other things
um so then they
they're having fun i mean they're
they're just having fun kind of hanging
out they're keeping a secret from the
frat um
the
then
luke gets a phone call from his mom
and uh keaton overhears him yelling in
the other room and he's like the [ __ ] is
that so he goes and he's kind of
eavesdropping and he hears
luke say well i don't have a car mom i
don't know how i'm going to get there
fine whatever i'll try to borrow a car
bye
and so his mom had called asking for
money because she spent all of their
money and didn't have enough to pay her
heat bill and this is new england in the
winter and so he was like well damn like
i can't i'm not gonna be able to sleep
at night if i let my mom [ __ ] freeze
to death
so keaton is like let me drive you and
luke is like for the love of god please
no like
no luke is the commitment phobe in all
this he's like absolutely not
caitlyn's like bro come on
so he takes him it's very awkward
um
they go find his brother as well and
keaton watches
luke's brother
again call him the f word
and just be very belittling and threaten
to beat him up and stuff
and even makes derogatory comments
towards keaton when keaton gets out of
the car thinking he needs to help
luke
um and he's like bro your family
your family and he's like yeah i know
let's never talk about it again
he's just deeply ashamed of of his
family
um so
things continue to progress
um
they are
banging a lot
um and keaton's super into it however he
misses annika a lot because that was
like his best friend even if they
weren't like sexually compatible
necessarily
he really misses his best friend yeah
it's been a long time in their
relationship and he's like i wish i had
somebody to talk to about luke but i
don't because i can't talk to any of my
frat brothers about it
so he he winds up calling annika annika
tells him that she's also dating someone
and they miss each other and and so they
start platonically hanging out again
which luke feels weird about which makes
keaton really happy i'm gonna say luke
feels weird about it so keaton's like
hell yeah he's like
[Laughter]
he's like do you love me i bet you love
me because he's like a golden retriever
puppy he's so excited about everything
um so then
um
keaton finds out that it is
luke's
birthday
luke wasn't gonna tell anybody anything
about [ __ ] but one of the other brothers
knew so they were planning a party for
his birthday oh so keith
is like
hey babe
uh you wanna come on a drive with me
and luke's like not really i was gonna
go for a run and he's like nope you
promised we're going thanks
so they start driving
luke thinks they're going into town or
something and
all of a sudden keaton is driving
to the city it's like where are we going
and he's like don't worry about it
and luke is like i don't play that
[ __ ] game where are we going right
now or i'm going to jump out of the car
while it's moving like luke is a very
aggressive salty pretzel he is
very salty about everything
um i prefer the like the honey mustard
and onion pretzels
noted
uh like the straight salt ones
that's that's
if anything he's salt and vinegar if
anything he's
i can work with salt and vinegar i do
enjoy salt and vinegar yeah myself
um but that's that's the energy that
luke brings very soft like
we we but we also like understand his
life history and like we
we see how he got there and we love him
and support him through it exactly
so
um turns out keaton has planned
a weekend getaway for his birthday and
um when they go into the hotel room luke
is like what else did you do
because he he's like i know you
and you are extra as [ __ ]
what else did you do it is not just a
hotel room just no i'm not here for the
surprises no just tell me um
um he also got him concert tickets they
have dinner reservations and then they
have like some kind of uh brew tap
festival thing they're going to go to
and luke is like okay and like turns
around and goes into the bathroom and
keaton is like oh no
oh dear
maybe i am too extra
maybe i am a golden retriever puppy i'm
so sorry okay but also for like being
like college age that is a like thorough
birthday plan he has a hell of a trust
fund his dad owns a pharmaceutical
company i mean like here's the thing
it's still thoughtful yeah i was going
to say money aside just like that level
of thoughtfulness i'm like that is very
thoughtful yes
so um lou comes out of the bathroom and
he's actually in tears and
keaton is like what he's like do you
know the last time someone even
remembered my birthday i was 16 and my
mom didn't even get me anything
like oh
and so keaton is like oh my god like my
heart is melting
um and so they have a fantastic weekend
together
um and then um
keaton like they start to to
get frisky or whatever
um and luke is like i bet you're
probably too sore
to to do anal again and he's like well i
mean free like for you we could figure
it out and he's like no no no like i'm
not going to hurt you why don't you do
me and keaton is like best day ever
like happy birthday to me
um even though it is not his birthday um
and so this is a very magical intimate
weekend for them they have a fantastic
time and i i completely forgot so before
this
um some of the frat brothers one of them
is having a birthday and the frat
brothers decide they're gonna go to a
strip club
and there are two strip clubs next to
each other one is a men's strip club one
one is a women's strip club and they go
into the wrong strip club
and the guys figure that out immediately
and leave but then keaton is still
standing there talking to the hostess
and then he sees sam or sam he sees luke
come out
dancing to a sam smith's dong
getting naked and he's like god damn
like okay
and so he realizes that he's a stripper
um and luke is again very ashamed very
secretive about it but keaton is like
it's super hot and like can i come watch
you sometime and luke is like absolutely
the [ __ ] not
no stay away from me
so anyway this is a big deal for them to
have this intimate weekend together it's
a big deal so
as they're driving back
luke is driving keaton's car
and they start to pull up to the frat
house and there are all these cop cars
everywhere and they're like what oh no
so they start to get out of the car and
then
one of the cops is like are you luke
bailey and he's like uh yep yep and he's
like cool you're under arrest and he's
like what what
for what
and he's like don't worry about it and
like puts him on the hood of the car and
like frisks him and does all this stuff
and luke is flipping the [ __ ] out he's
like i literally have no idea what is
happening right now can you please tell
me why i'm being arrested and they're
like you'll find out down at the station
and like shove him in the car
turns out he's being accused of robbing
the school
um like stealing some computers from the
school or something i was really hoping
this was going to be a sex thing
no
stealing some computers from the school
like i thought it was going to be like
hot cop strippers no
wishful thinking for all of us
for everyone involved these are not hot
cop strippers if anything they're
bigoted and terrible
so
um
they get to the police station and they
say they have it was his school id
that unlocked the doors to steal these
computers
it was his [ __ ] brother so it turns
out that one of his frat brothers didn't
realize
that luke's brother was not someone that
needed to be around and he had shown up
at the frat house and even showed his id
to prove he was luke's brother and so
the guy was like okay i guess
if you're luke's brother like go on up
and leave him a node in his room or
whatever and he had stolen all the cash
that luke had and
his school id
um
i'm but look at him rather right but
luke didn't know that because then he
immediately went out of town
so he didn't know
so the cop is like sounds pretty
convenient so you gave your brother your
school id and then went on a little
weekend getaway and he's like no
jesus christ he's like i think i need an
attorney
oh my god
so when we flash back to the the frat
house keaton is flipping out so he calls
his dad oh i forgot to mention as well
so
luke has been coming to the brunches
with keaton's dad
every now and then
because keaton really doesn't want to be
alone with his dad
they just don't really get along so
luke's been coming along and he's a
finance major and so he and his dad are
like really hitting it off and like
besties for life
so
keaton calls his dad and he's like dad
what do you do when somebody gets
arrested he's like what are you talking
about right now
um i thought you were with annika
because it turns out dad had checked
keaton's credit card receipts and saw
that he booked a hotel and just assumed
that he was with annika and that they
had gotten back together and he's like
no i was with luke and he his dad's like
luke bailey and he's like uh yeah he's
like like like finance luke yeah one of
the same yep that's the one nailed it
so um his dad is like let me call
somebody who is um
licensed in connecticut we'll figure it
out
so um then the whole frat is standing
there staring at him like what the [ __ ]
are you doing right now what is going on
and he's like hey
everybody
awkward
um so then
they all overheard the conversation
about he and luke spending the weekend
together
so now they all know
um which was very upsetting for
everybody
um because keaton had backed out of the
frat president race because he realized
that luke was doing it to get free rent
and he needed the money
so he backed out of the race which
pissed luke off a lot
were they the only two running mm-hmm
okay and the rest of the frat did not
understand what was going on
so when all this came out
keaton's best friend was like oh i see
so you were [ __ ] him
and
like he turned you and got you to
like manipulated you into doing all this
and he's like it's it's a fraternity
president situation like it's not that
serious
and no that's not what happened that's
not what happened and also
like
it is not like an actual
big campaign that's happening here it's
not
so um and through all of this keaton is
also applying for an internship
um
that would put him
basically out at sea for two months over
the summer
um
that he's really excited about but
hasn't mentioned to his parents because
his dad still wants him to do the
finance
internship with his whole stuff right
yeah so
all this is happening at the same time
um and then
uh luke meets his public defender who's
basically trash
and luke is like no listen
if you call the hotel where i stayed
like they can tell you like they can
show you the video i was there
and um the guy's like yeah okay we'll
we'll figure that out when we get to
trial but for now you're gonna have to
pay your bail and he's like bail like i
don't i barely have money for rent like
i can't pay bail and he's like well
that's really tough for you
and so luke is really freaking out he's
like holy [ __ ] i'm gonna be here
forever like i'm gonna lose my
scholarship i'm not gonna be able to
graduate everything i've been working
for is just gonna go up in flames like
oh my god
but then another attorney shows up and
says there won
and says to the public defender you're
fired get out
and so
he gathers all this information he's
like the hayworth's hired me i'm here
for you i got it covered no problem and
basically immediately gets the charges
dropped like as soon as he walks into
the courtroom
he's like the the college is not going
to like it if you're charging a student
with a crime that he clearly did not
commit this is lazy police work so
unless you would like to get a phone
call from one of your largest tax bases
i strongly suggest that you drop these
charges thank you
it was very elwood's like it was very
legally blonde moment where he was just
like ciao did he bend and snap i don't
it wasn't specified but yes in my mind
he did
in my mind and in my heart yes that's
what happened
um so then luke is
traumatized by spending a night in jail
and having all of this happen so he goes
back to the frat house realizes that
everybody knows that he and keaton have
been [ __ ] and he's like great
[ __ ]
awesome
i hate it here so then he just refuses
to speak to keaton he's like i'm not i
can't do this with you like
i'm a terrible person
i come from terrible people
and anything that we have or have had is
gonna be tainted because i am trash
and then luke's bomb shows up at the
frat house and starts screaming for him
so he goes out and he's like what do you
want and she's like the cops just showed
up and arrested your your brother we
have to post his bail we have to help
him [ __ ] like you showed up for luke
when he was just arrested and he didn't
fail
after his brother essentially framed him
for this crime by stealing his id
and all of his money so
he's like no mom i'm not gonna be doing
that
and she was like if you don't do this
we're done you're not my son anymore and
he says okay
and she's like oh good like let's go
let's go get your brother and he's like
no no okay i'm not your son anymore
and the whole frat is witness to all of
this
like it breaks my heart but yes also
like way to
hold a very necessary and difficult
boundary
exactly he needed to be done with all of
that
so then um he and keaton aren't speaking
and a couple of weeks start to go by
and luke is like maybe i reacted a
little too strongly like most of the
brothers in the frat are chill like they
don't really care
and i was just like the shock of
yeah everything that weekend and he's
like and i miss him but also like
i still like feel the jail slime on me
like i feel like i'm gonna taint
everybody around me
um and keaton is like pining for him and
all this and then he's like you know
what
not anymore i'm not doing this anymore
i'm not gonna pretend anymore he has
lunch with his parents both of them and
comes out fully to them
um and he's like yeah no i'm i'm not
bisexual like i'm i'm just gay like
turns out i'm just super gay
um and they're like okay and then his
dad is like so you couldn't just be gay
you had to be an academic too because he
tells
like he tells his parents about the
internship
that's the line for his own line
the only i mean [ __ ] who you want son
but you also had to be an academic just
[ __ ] really
um so then keaton is like you know who
would do great at that internship though
luke bailey you should probably give him
a call actually
um he's like even if we're not together
i still want him to do well and i'm sure
he would be pissed at me for
like putting his name out there but
we're not together so what's he gonna do
like no
suck it
so then um keaton winds up getting the
internship and he is talking to annika
and he's like i don't know what to do
like i've tried to reach out to him i've
tried to talk to him he's not responding
to me i'm going to chili
for two months and he's getting he got
an internship with my dad's company and
he's gonna be in new work or some [ __ ]
for three months like
i don't know what to do and annie is
like listen if you really care for him
you'll figure it out and he's like
i have an idea
so he writes a note i love this golden
retreat for energy he's so cute he
really is just a golden doodle
yes very golden doodle he's very smart
but also kind of dumb and very sweet
very sloppy very floppy yes very floppy
so he writes a little note
that says um
i know like this hasn't been going well
i get it
um but i'm leaving please don't delete
the kink app
so
then
they start messaging each other while
they're worlds away on the kink app
um well i say that keaton messages
luke
often and luke has never responded
so messaging each other is a bit of a
strong statement yeah okay um but luke
looks forward to it every day like he's
really excited about these messages he
just knows that he was a huge [ __ ]
and he doesn't know like what to do now
he's like oh
i made a mistake i don't know what to do
i made a mistake and i don't know how to
fix it so instead of just like
responding i'm just going to look
forward to all of the messages yes
because it turns out the the ocean
waters where keaton is are like some of
the most dangerous in the world
and so luke is like oh my god like
please send me a message every day but
also i'm not gonna ask you for that but
also please do that because i'm worried
you're gonna die
so
regardless
um
luke does finally message back
um after a few weeks
and keaton's super excited so they start
this back and forth
um
luke sees keaton's dad and keaton's dad
is like oh man like
he probably would be sending me those
pictures of the sunset if i hadn't been
such a colossal douchebag
and luke's like i am not going to
comment on
my boss's relationship with his son who
i am [ __ ] mine
i'm just going to leave that alone in
the elevator at the office
um
but uh eventually keaton is like
where are we going like what's going on
and um luke's like uh i don't know stop
asking me questions i don't want to
answer and keem's like okay well here's
the deal my family has a huge summer
party on this date i will be back then
if you want to be with me i will see you
there and if not i am done
and that's it
so day the party comes
and he is playing badminton with
annie
um having a great time but not really
he's just staring waiting to see if luke
shows up and of course he does it's all
very exciting
and um
so it's all very it's all very exciting
everything is exciting to a golden
doodle
yes
they have a a sweet little hug moment
um
keaton takes him on a tour introduces
him to his mom and luke's like oh my god
like i'm meeting his mother i [ __ ] him
like an hour ago in the neighbor's pool
oh jesus he's like oh god
i think we skipped over that we did in
my head i was like they made it to the
party sweet golden doodle introduces him
to his mother no
they go on a field trip because they're
very randy to the neighbor's pool
because the neighbor is at the party at
keaton's house so he's like
she's not gonna be home for a minute why
don't we just
so that's how that happens
and then um
they meet his mom
luke meets his mom it's all very sweet
luke finally dances for keaton he has
never done that but he does a little
dance for him
and then it's all basically happily ever
after all the charges against luke were
officially dropped his brother was
arrested and convicted
and he's still got a tpo out on him
anyway just in case
um luke's gonna be the fraternity
president keaton's very happy with him
annika's very happy in her new
relationship and it's all very sweet and
wonderful and that's that's it that's
top secret
there's
it's not top secret
i was literally just thinking like
so what's
what's top secret about it nothing
not a lot like at one point
one of the lines that stands out to me
the most is that um when keaton first
starts messaging luke on the app and
like experimenting he's like i guess i'm
just vacationing in my own mental syria
because this is an area i don't
go to
and it's like what
what does that have to do with this
what does top secret have to do with
this it's very loosely we're making
loose associations like when i think top
secret i think like
espionage
um
is there any espionage i missed no
it's just them not telling people that
they're
banging
that's what's secret but
so what's our rating system for this one
i was just thinking that maybe lobster
emojis
for the lobster shorts
that's fair we've already done lobster
rolls oh i forgot about the lobster
rolls
maybe we should do something different
then um well the a lobster emoji is
different than a lobster roll it is
different you're correct um we could do
chubby shorts
[Laughter]
we could do
the length of shorts
because
so from speedo
to like jenko is that what we're doing
yeah i wait no i i'm here for this
because i mean so here's
my husband
the
shorter the better well
but here's the thing it's not
necessarily the shorter the better my
husband is a very thick side man okay um
the first time i saw him in shorts i was
like i think each of my husband's legs
are individually the size of my head
like
he has some tree trunks on him um our
future children will be some thick
thighed fellows like it
it is what it is
my husband like we like we did crossfit
for a while
um like i've seen my husband do like 400
pound squats like these are not small
thighs um and because of that
shorts are difficult
like so
we like the chubby shorts actually work
really well but they have them in
several lengths
and
it's not necessarily the shorter the
better it's that they're like have like
more leg room and like width to them if
you're right right um
but i do think that it's like the five
inch inseam
is the one that my husband
wears although when you look at my
husband you're not like sky's that does
out am i right you're just like oh those
shorts look normal and appropriate on
you
longer shorts tend to look a little
weirder this is a very long tangent
about my husband's size
so sorry
why how did why because we're talking
about short lengths like the length of
shorts
so yeah from speedo to jenko
to jayco but again like which is better
that's what i'm saying like shorter the
better or longer the better
well i think the shorter better and
keaton
would say the shorter the better i would
agree yeah
so
so where are we talking on
on the lobster short length
i have a lot of hand motions going on
that y'all are missing
um
you know what
i'm going to say well at least above the
knee oh for sure above the knee um
i would give it
i would give it a five inch inseam
that's what i was gonna say yeah i mean
i love this book it's very comforting
it's fun
there's there's enough plot to like keep
you in it
it's like it's very endearing it is very
endearing it's very sweet between the
two of them
like i just i really love
the golden doodle energy
there's a lot of gold on doodles how
many golden doodles wearing shorts
would you rank it
definitely at least eight and a half
yeah i don't know how many it's out of
but at least eight and a half i don't
know how many it's out of either but at
least eight and a half
and dogs wearing clothes is the best
oh my god
so yes
we love top secret serena bowen and l
kennedy excellent work ladies thank you
so much we appreciate you
yes we rate it a five inch inseam we
rate it at least eight and a half dogs
wearing clothes
um
what do y'all think what do y'all rate
it read it let us know absolutely we
hope you have a wonderful rest of your
day and thanks for joining us thanks
y'all bye
next week on smart club
it goes from six to midnight
real fast with the level of like
physical flirty intimacy chemistry
between them um he puts the next song on
the jukebox and it's phil collins i can
feel it in the air tonight
and he is like apparently it turns into
like a weird sexual thing he does double
check her age she's 23 so she is legal
um
i made note of that um but yeah he
starts dancing with her
to phil collins and kissing her and
feeling her up very intimately and then
at some point he's like i want to hear
you scream and she goes i want you to
make me scream
like i'm like what
well that's it for this week's mud [ __ ]
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[Music]
you